Hello my name is Veronica i started watching your videos. I want to say that I struggle saying no! Question what should you say when someone wants to coach you. When your just having fun. And I said that and they said when I made a good shot said oh wow that was a good shot even though you can’t see well. It was upsetting
A quick and simple no without any explanations works like a charm. I never give a reason why I can't do something. Just say no, as once so famously said.
Youre incredible and your lessons are amazing. You helped me quit my job like a pro. I'll be starting cosmetology school in the end of August and I will definitely continue to watch your videos! Thank you so much!
Thanks Nicole, and as you beautify your customers, don't forget to tell them about ME! :) They can start by going to danoconnortraining.com and from there to my RU-vid channel. How about that?
I love the comebacks 😂! Our mother was the Queen of criticism. It’s an entire extended family maternal issue. I’m always speechless as she thanks me then immediately looks for what is wrong. 😂 Graduate Phi Theta Kappa? Her comment was “ Just think someday you’ll graduate Phi Beta Kappa or class Valedictorian.” as she is adjusting my cap. I was speechless again, knocked down to size. I obtained a nursing license. She began bragging about a friend”s daughter graduating from MGH Harvard NP program. She does the same to my sister and my cousin receives it from her Mother. Now we will have a comeback instead of standing dumbfounded! Yea! Thanks Dan!
I like that you actually care about the other people, not just gaining power by giving smarty one-liners. I have a older sibling I MUST deal with concerning an aging parent, and they are always wanting their way with no grace given but always expected when they need it. Thank you for what you do. Would like MORE on tips with friends or family members taht you can't or do not want to cut ties with, (dangling participle).
First--I believe in the dangling participle. Sometimes IT JUST FLOWS BETTER, much to the consternation of English teachers who would like to hang us with that dangling participle. Second, I will bear your dilemma in mind--difficult people with whom you can't or don't want to cut ties.
I'm grateful for the shares and humbled that you'd share this training with clients. If you'd send me your email, I'd like to share something with you.
Loved the video!! I always feel like I’m being mean when I say No even if it’s for a good reason!! Thank you for reminding me that my ME TIME is OKAY!! 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Lmao! Will use these on my mom!! She asks me to do things on my working time. I always give in because she and my oldest sister are very sick. I might be next to get sick too. I HATE it. I cry out of frustration.
It's funny because, while I listen to you, I always try to translate the phrases in my (Serbian) language in the most adequate way so that I can use them- It's like a mini-multitasking😁 Jokes aside, I wish I could encounter more often people like you- with grace, serenity, intelligence, humor but aswell radiating incredible warmth and empathy that I can feel even through screen. I wish you a day where you smile on the street for no reason, those are the best😊
Milena thank you so much for those kind words. Today I will smile as I walk around my house (don't go out much lately because of Covid-19) and think of you!
Please consider exploring this subject matter of how to appropriately respond to someone who continues to pressure one with PTSD to go out when they are not in a good headspace that day to do so: Being largely homebound due to the pronounced symptoms of PTSD is a daily reality for me. Through time, I've learned to judiciously decide when it's conducive to my well-being to step out, preferably with trusted family members. Yet, it becomes distressing when someone assumes I can merely 'snap out of it' or 'go with the flow', suggesting I should venture out more often. Such expectations highlight a lack of empathy and an understanding gap regarding the PTSD-triggered world many of us navigate. As a veteran, the weight of addressing this topic is often compounded by societal stigmas. Nevertheless, I've grown to establish clear boundaries, resisting the pressure to relent just to meet another's expectations or to give them a sense of achievement. Most of my family understands this - but there is always that one. I believe your expert advice can assist many like me who struggle with this issue. Thank you and much respect.
Norma, I say this with love when I say: please look for help. I also had PTSD and it is treatable. Look for professionals who specialize in PTSD and EMDR.
Great lesson!! I watch all of your videos. You make me laugh while I’m learning. I’ve been a stay at home mom for 16 years and you help me feel more confident while I start my job search. 💕
Watch for a program I'm developing about how best to leave your job and find a new one, Cecelia. In the meantime, I'm happy to help build your confidence through my videos.
Hello from Guadalajara Mexico and Fargo North Dakota, Aleksey! Happy to be in touch with you--and together we can truly change the global dialogue one conversation at a time. :)
Yes! Thank you for being the most informative, quick, simple, logical video on saying, No. Love the 'I simply can't' broken record response. I'm going to watch this every day until I got it. Lifesaver 💕
One of the more enjoyable & comically well produced lessons I have watched of Dans. While presenting Five phrases & Four key tactics of kind ways to sat No with simple break down steps. Always helpful & enjoyable videos! Thank you
Then you're going to love some of the new content I'm posting on my Kajabi site. I'll be posting a few unedited videos. After watching, you'll see why I spend a good deal of time editing. :)
Your advice/skills are changing my LIFE. I have been sharing your channel with SOOO many of my clients and friends who are "people pleasures" I own a hair salon in Providence RI A chronic illness has crippled my aready pathetic self-esteem...(lol) I have been implementing your strategies, and have seen IMMEDIATE results. Thank you.
Candice, did my mother pay you to write this? Thank you so much for affirming my work; everybody needs an ego boost from time to time and you just gave me mine for the month. I hope plenty of people in your life give you a boost from time to time as well. You work on that self esteem because you are clearly a lovely person as evidenced by what you took the time to write to me. You didn't have to take that time, but you did. Dan
Dear Wizard of Words,Thank you so much. I am still struggling to fully stop people pleasing. Very helpful and less stressful number of ways to say no😂🌸
Mother in law who made passive aggressive statements on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and stormed out on New Years Eve after yelling at me has requested to stay in our home for 3 nights next week because her house is having the furnace repaired. How do i tell her.... if you sleep here ill have to check into a hotel? If you sleep here I could die? I'd like to say it nicely. BTW, thank you Dan! after the big fight and the silent treatment, she had texted "I hope to come over this weekend and apologize to you in person" to which I responded "we are not having any visitors this weekend, i need time to process and we will get back to you" .....the only reason I said this is thanks to DAN!!! She is intrusive and overbearing, she was shocked!!! She emailed me right away and I ignored it for now because I'm still processing. I will keep watching your channel!
Thanks for your comment, Joan. And if you ever want to take a deep dive into training, which will make you HYSTERICAL for a lifetime :). go to danoconnortraining.com
I like this presentation far better than all the "How To Make People LIKE You", items on the internet. Time for the other side to get some respect. You just got PLENTY!!!!
Thank you and greetings from Riga, Latvia! As always it's so much fun to listen how you deliver valuable, practical content!! The examples are just fun and emphasise the issue/solution. Thank you, always looking forward to your videos. 😁🙌☀️
Thank you so much! Latvia, huh? I wonder what it's like there. I'm going to walk the streets on google maps to find out. Can you recommend any particular neighborhood? I appreciate your comments, and your taking the time to watch...I'm hoping to come out with another soon! Dan
@@TheWizardOfWords How exciting to hear a reply from you! And thank you for paying a visit via Google to our rather small yet beautiful country placed on he shore of the Baltic Sea. If shortly to describe our place - loads of nature, people still pick berries and mushrooms in the woods :) We are used to it. It's becoming a trend again :) Here are few places to look up in Riga: - Our Art Nouveau District or we call it Riga Quiet centre. You might look up on the map Elizabetes street 35, and then walk on Antonijas, Alberta Street. - Old Town , called Vecrīga. Here a good starting point is Doma laukums, Central District, Riga, and walk though the streets like. There is an option to take an instant view @ Doma laukums, Riga, Latvia | Instant Google Street View - Many find interesting to see one of the largest marketplaces in Eastern Europe and one of the most visited markets - Riga Central Market, Nēģu iela, Latgale Suburb, Riga With best regards and hoping you enjoy the virtual walks though Riga :) And please do share , what did cought your attention. Regina
This video has an amazing flow to it that makes it very enjoyable and satisfying to watch. At no point did i find myself wanting to skip to the awnser to my question, but it helped that the answer was delivered so quickly :)
When I was growing up my mother used the broken record frequently and I lost whatever battle I was waging. Although I took it as a loss, I also took note of its effectiveness and that is why you see it in my teaching videos. Thanks Mom. You could be strict, but you were always right. DAMMITALL!!!
I always share your videos with all my co workers. Btw, I’m a Hebrew speaker, and it cracks me up whenever you call one your imaginary kids “Haman”. Haman was an evil Persian Poo Bah who tried to destroy the Jewish people before the Second Temple Era. Every Purim holiday, Jews all over the world must go to the synagogue and listen to the story of that miraculous salvation from destruction at the hands of wicked Haman by Queen Esther and her uncle, Mordechai. Whenever the name “Haman“ is read, , everyone boos and makes a racket in order to “erase his memory”. Love your work Dan!
Hi HiDef Analog ! hahahah...I'm glad you liked it, and took the time to tell me so. I was afraid that too much humor and people would tell me to stop fooling around. Thank you so much for watching and taking the time to comment. i appreciate it and I look forward to hearing from you again soon.. 👋 Let me know if there's anything I can help with, and please keep in touch, OK? Thank you!
Thank you for your coaching on saying “no.” I often want to help ppl and sometimes I overcommit. I know how to say “no,” but I underestimate the time and energy that it will take when I say “yes.” Could you possibly make a video about spreading oneself too thin?
People are constantly asking for my time. Friends, family, coworkers, etc... the list goes on and on. I have always struggled with telling people "No", but it seems that lately the consequences for me telling them "yes" are more and more severe of a detriment to me. "Could you come look at the brakes on my car quick and help me figure out what's wrong" turned into several hours of me helping them find, buy, and install the replacement parts on their car (for free, mind you). Can't wait to follow your advice and practice saying "No" a lot more.
Saying "no"doesn't make you selfish, Brandon. You'll know the right time to say "yes," but it sounds as though people just might be taking advantage of your good nature, and perhaps it is time to learn to say "no." :)
Dan, you are so funny too! And helpful- as a person who is always saying YES (yes so many useless causes that won't go anywhere), I am so grateful for this.
Hi Angelica Schmitz ! Thank you so much for watching and taking the time to comment. i appreciate it and I look forward to hearing from you again soon.. 👋 Let me know if there's anything I can help with, and please keep in touch, OK? Thank you!
Myself. My time, my support, my emotional engagement, and all to support them; yes, the particular them is a very important them in my life and my personal growth, but now that them is asking me to compromise my comfort, principles, and honestly not just my mental health, but the finite bit of physical health that I occasionally have. Balancing those two things SUCKS
MY work.! They refuse to look at our availabilities. When I applied for my job, had to let them know what days, time, shift wanted to work. I have worked with this Agency for over a year., and they are always ignoring my schedule and consistently bothering me to work more hours and is always interrupting my other job. This type of behavior has been stressful and hard to deal with. I feel like I'm dealing with two-year-olds or selfish people that cannot listen. I do try to be workable with them but sad to say, it never seems to help. They always expect more.
Brenda, you might tell them that you work two jobs and would REALLY appreciate it if they'd stick to the available times you both agreed to when you took the job.
This video is great and very relevant to what I struggle with. I lead a department and I am always saying yes but recently someone who was promoted to a high level position will email me late at night asking me to do a presentation for the next day which completely throws off my day. I block off my calendar but the individual fails to check it. I said no today but my anxiety is making me want to cancel my other appointment and lead the call because if I can't do it then it falls on a colleague of mine and I don't want my no to affect my colleague.
Brandon--learn to say NO to this guy, and your colleague will have to learn to say NO as well. Also, you might ask the individual to restrict emails to work hours. You shouldn't have to be checking your phone when you're at home, unless you are paid to do so. Does that mean you are always on call? I hope not.
I always try to have a big heart and that makes me happily say yes almost all the time. You are right about the fact that me doing this teaches others the same. However, it has occurred to me that it isn't healthy for myself mentally and physically to say yes almost all the time. I am learning to love myself more now and it is showing a ripple effect on the people who are looking up to me as well. What you said is 100% true.
Thanks for all the great techniques! You are super helpful and very funny too! You have a great attitude and positive outlook on life.You are a great inspiration! Will you be doing any live streams soon? Ive caught a couple a while back and enjoyed them immensely!
Hi Miranda: I am trying to find the time to do a live stream, and also trying to get a couple videos up each week, as well as work on new training programs. It's good to be busy but sometimes I don't get done what I would like to do!
Hey dan Your tips helped me when i was at work I used the power phrase :i simply cant. Which bloody closed the conversation..awesome content man keep going.😁👍
Usually I'm getting asked to work more than the number of hours I'm paid (we have unpaid overtime) due to too many projects, unrealistic overtime, and lack of priorities by the manager or upper management. Second thing is I just go along with what friends what to do (food choice, event choice) and sometimes I don't even want to go but I hate to be the only "difficult" one in the group not going along with everyone else. The work thing is far harder to deal with, though.
ADP, with unpaid overtime, you must learn to say no diplomatically. My guess is you are doing the job of people who have learned to say NO, NOT ME--GO ASK ADP TO DO IT. SHE'LL SAY YES.
Hi Luke. I am a past-Minnesotan, but my brother Marty is a current Saint Paulite. My links to Minnesota are strong. And boy do I miss Al Franken who helped my father get his veteran's benefits ASAP when we told Al my father was dying of cancer from Agent Orange in Viet Nam. What a guy . . . . He made a huge difference in the last two years of my father's life and I will be forever grateful.
Thank you for all the useful advice, I do enjoy the messages in your funny comments. I have a question. People who are not close to me perceive me as a competitor and conteolling person(sometimes aggressive); especially, when they see in me something that they don't have. Every time I think I am confident and making progress in communication, they tell me that I'm bad at it and they try to trigger my self-esteem and exaggerate my mistakes. I am direct, serious and kind person (have good intentions to others). How can I stay myself and evaluate the level of my communication skills? Looking forward to your answer.
T, my best advice is to keep on learning and evaluating and LISTENING to what others are saying about you. If people are telling you that you are controlling and aggressive--have a conversation with them and keep an open mind when you do. They will tell you what you need to work on-- Your comment about them seeing something in you that they don't have is a telling one, T. What would lead you to believe that? Again, I suggest you listen closely to what you're being told and then work on your communication style and perhaps your attitude towards those around you. I hope that helps.
It's so funny that your commitment at that time was to watch Buffy the Vampire and later fulfilled a career becoming a communications vampire slayer.😄😎
