How to Set Boundaries with Narcissists Without Saying a Word 

right!!! wow

And on that day you realize they will not change.

Yeah, true, but it's my dad and caregive for my ill mom so unfortunately, can't get away from him. 😢

So, so true!

yea right or you could be a sensitive victim that things the world revolves around you.

❤🥂🙏🇺🇸

THIS‼️‼️‼️‼️

Totally 🎉

Yes! Walk away. That’s what my therapist has told me

Absolutely 👍🏼

@@barbarabuttler7647 They accuse you of their warped behaviors.

@@surfkat59 Yes! Sometimes they telegraph their own intentions by accusing us!

@@barbarabuttler7647 they live in fear because they think others have the same intention from their narrow self centered perspective, if you catch on to them they will shift the blame on you or someone else anything to look innocent and avoid taking any accountability

@@Angelthunder11 So true! It's all about image; they don't care about relationships.

I struggled with these accusations of being too sensitive (whenever I spoke up to defend) but did not know these are tactics of narcissists until watching these videos. Thanks.

It's Karma that pays them back... They reap what they sow. Why not block her?

Omg, how disgusting and sick is that! Karma 🙏🏻 I’m so sorry for what your son endured and your loss as his mum 😢❤

You have missed an opportunity to really "get" you daughter in law. She left a white rose on the grave. The perfect flower. The definition of a white rose is "I am not worthy of your Love". DIL WITHOUT knowing it told the absolute truth. She was and is not worthy of his or your Love.

Sending my deepest sympathy. ❤

So sorry for your son.

That is true

Truth

And they definitely don’t like it!

What you feed grows, what you starve diminishes. I conquered a narc person by starving her of any attention, good or bad. She now hides from me in our social circle and is losing attention from others as well.

@@weissblau they always hide play dead when you starve them of attention reaction, they are always lurking watching you though even if it’s through others aka flying monkeys, it’s true others around them finally catch on and see through the deception

But they're not demons , demons have supernatural powers, they are just sick people. Stay away. But they don't have supernatural powers.

@@jch8376 that’s right they aren’t supernatural because they are created so they are subject to Gods authority even though they think they are superior aka Pride, God is divine Jesus is Divine, what does demonic mean? It means because someone has no conscious no empathy a lack of self awareness, they have done things to really hurt empathetic caring people, aka blaspheming the Holy Spirit, and due to these things they opened legal rights for dark spirits to reside in them, aka spirit of envy jealousy hate murder, immorality, lust, perversion, spirits of gluttony, greed etc… this is when dark spirits can use these empty vessels devoid of any good virtues aka Holy Spirit from God, and use them like puppets. 6When he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and worshiped Him. 7And he cried out with a loud voice and said, “What have I to do with You, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore[c] You by God that You do not torment me.” 8For He said to him, “Come out of the man, unclean spirit!” 9Then He asked him, “What is your name?” And he answered, saying, “My name is Legion; for we are many.” 10Also he begged Him earnestly that He would not send them out of the country. Mark 5:6-10

Oh, I really love that !!!!

This was Katherine Hepburn's motto. She was a very strong emowered woman!

I’ve met a number of narcissists,over the years I worked it out, I’ve been doing this for some time, it feels good. Its a bit like living with an alcoholic,its called detachment.

Perfect ! @jansefran1752 this is the perfect thing to do ❤

@@jansefran1752 Brilliant! Had I only known 40 years ago!! 😢Alas, Better Late than Never! 🙌

Silence can't be misquoted!!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaas!!

How long can you keep up living this way with a "loved one"? And how long have you been married?

Thank you so much for sharing! I needed this!

I’m learning.

❤ thank you for this!

It also feels like an air freshener 😊

True

Perfect

That's the time they want to destroyed everything in your life they are so evil 😢

@@GermanieDarling True

Well spoken.

WOWWWWW.

❤❤❤❤

And speaks louder than words

Exactly

Definitely

Agreed 💯

I've had two narcissist in my life. I'm a big empath and both of these people know it and abuse and it. My 1st one was the father of my 2 children and I had a hard time getting him out if my life. I was naive young and unaware of what a narcissist was so I tried for 7yrs to make it work to keep my family together and then finally realized it would harm and had harmed my children mentally keeping him around so long. For 3 more yrs I tried to get rid of him and he would break into my house refuse to stay away more than 3wks at a time and stole money from me. He ruined my life. He beat me and tortured me and lied about me and made me look crazy and oddly I'm a very peaceful person. I don't like to fight I avoid it at all cost and I believe you can talk out any argument peacefully and even agree to disagree and still be able to move on. Not him he only wanted to fight. 5yrs ago I met my current boyfriend and I moved in a year later with him and my ex hasn't found me and has tried to really hard through my family and friends and as far as he knows.. is I moved out of State. Now my new boyfriends mother is a covert narcissist and she is in a lot of ways more toxic bc she's a secret liar and spreads lies about me behind my back while doing her best to smile to my face like a snake. I however was aware very quickly this time who she was. She didn't like that. She is emotionally incestuous with her son. She treats him like a husband and he recently realized she's done it since he hit puberty. He's her golden child who is successful and her daughter isna Trans woman who was born male. She ignores her existence as much as possible and claim how open she is to her decision in front of people that aren't against it. Behind closed doors she calls her by her given name Cameron out of disrespect. She gets angry if me or her son invite her to a lunch or holiday event. She refused to allow her to go to family events lying saying her and her son was going to dinner like she doesn't know and bashes her the whole time at the family event ofbher family. She claims to me they don't like her but then says right in front of me like I'm stupid that she had anxiety or she would've came. I'm going to make this as short as possible. I have goes no contact with her and her son is trying too and is in therapy from her abuse. I have brought it to his attention and he is bipolar and she's known this but she took him off his medicine in high school so she had more control over him and only had him on medicine for a yr when he was in late middle school and rhe school pretty much demanded it. I helped him to get back on his medicine snd hes harder for her to manipulate now. She said I was trying to poison him with medicine and he told her no he feels better. Then I was trying to controlling manipulate him by helping him find a good therapist for him when really shebisnjust afraid he's going to see her for who she is with the help of the therapist. She tried to tell him I stole from her but forgot she told him she wanted me to give me something. When all else fails and she figured out she wasnt going to get her dates 4 to 5 times a wk anymore bc again I've barely touched on it but she treats him like her husband and I'm the cheating mistress homewrecker. She resorted to claiming that I told her I was going to unalive him. That was the beginning of the end for her regarding their relationship. She's in the stage now of acting like she cares again. Still no accountability for anything she's says or an im sorry.shes tried the victim with everything she's done to me and in fact tries to say I said those things not her which doesn't even make sense if I did but she sticks to that story and if they weren't so vial it would be funny but it's not. I think thats long enough for this but trust me there is so much more. Oh I do need to say one more thing.shws even tries to get him into her bed several times since know him. She has him take her to events and drive her in her car so it's a lot more like a date for her. Feeds him beer gets him drunk refuses to drive him home but will drive them back to her house trying to convince him to just stay the night all the way home and then try to convince him to just sleep with her. Its really gross and weird and he calls me to come get him. I get looks from the devil herself the whole time and she wont speak a word to me like I ruined her sex life and its extremely triggering to me and upsetting. He said she's never SA him but I feel like it wasn't from a lack of trying. I'm concerned she might try to hurt me or him but mostly me to get me out of his life. That way she can try to abuse him again. She and my ex should be in prison but they are such master manipulators they've been conned the police or conned people to believe they are the victims so they never get charged for anything.

Agreed!!

So true, unless they are physical then it’s their word against ours. Narc abuse - covert type, has got to be the most insidious form of abuse as its as subtle as it is dangerous 😢

Exactly!!!!

sounds all too familiar

DARVO

Because that's what they do.....ay the victim all the time.

​@@Astar9988 BINGO.

❤

Run!

I think however that they deserve to learn why, first. Otherwise we've missed a teaching opportunity. And like little kids, we can't expect them to be psychic. And then they can't claim that we never said anything. They were told.

Staying away from in personal life is doable. Haven’t quite figured out how to stay away from in my career /professional endeavors. Learned to avoid them as much as possible but yeah still a challenge

Finally, a healthy comment from a healthy person 👏👏👏There are some seriously deranged people here putting the blame on the narc for thier own issues.

Yes

I'm going to use this acronym from now on. THANK YOU!!!

@@sneadaleighsonright!!

I️ had to do this very thing with a toxic friend. I️ calmly communicated my boundaries and they chose to continue to act as if I️ didn’t say it. My job is to enforce my boundaries and hold the person accountable if they cross them. NOT my job to manage the other person’s emotions. Chucked my deuces up and kept moving. ✌🏽

@@Soul_Human_Expgood for you and well done ❤🙏

Me too! The covert ones were the hardest to disentangle from.

I’m happier alone!

Me too. Living my best life now which burns their butts even more.

Same here!

Me too!! It feels SO good! Narcs are emotionally sadistic, they'll shorten your life.

unfortunately, even silence can be misquoted. bad actors will simply make up your own words for you.

Exactly!!!!!

🎯

@@Melva-Tjong you have to set the boundary and never announce it, speak very little give no details or personal info

@@Angelthunder11 many thanks for your advice. I really appreciate the community of narcissists’ survive.

When you do that ..I do that ..

Hmmmm very good I must try that. I've a neighbour always catches me when I'm in my backyard. Everything I sigh and sure enough listen to absolute offensive conversation. She talks fast to get in as much as possible thats hurtful as quickly as possible before I get away

Exactly ❤😮🎉

Hilarious, vagueness can work wonders

Another one "okay" this is my answer when my ex husband tries to bully me

@@Warwck24 You should act uninterested in what neighbor has to say. If this person is saying things that are hurtful or aggravating to you don’t allow them to speak. As they begin to speak look at them and say “I gotta go” if they ask where are you going, I’m talking to you. Remember you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Just say I’m busy. Even if you go and sit in the yard. You are busy sitting in the yard. If they don’t care about your feelings then show them the same courtesy. Mostly ignore them.

I ❤ this!

I can't be authentic around him. I must be vigilant at my own integrity and focus, but in order to do that I must be VERY SUPERFICIAL around him.....Not genuine at all.

​@@POS3278 Can you stay in your power. I'm going to try it.

Yes💯

Mr. JR82, AND tenacity

Same here! Amen to that!

True I'm thinking to do the same 🤔

Best is when they call your bluff and flounce off fully expecting you to run after them. Once they suddenly realise that you’re not going to, they start the smear campaign. So now all their flying monkeys give you the same treatment and ignore you. Bingo! It’s like the whole year’s worth of trash took itself out. Rid of the whole bloody lot of them without lifting a finger. I kept my distance, they can’t come crawling back without losing face. It’s the beginning of the most peaceful existence. I’ve never been happier.

Absolutely!

​@@heathers5282power to you! 💪

😂 I think I will!

I am allergic to them. Once I know they're narcissistic I cannot stand to be in their presence: it's one part fear, one part disgust.

Love this

THAT IS THE BEST EVER SAYING I HAVE EVER EVER HEARD ! THANK YOU

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I did too 😊 And it feels good.

@@vibekes2416yeah, that’s the best approach. By the way, Remember Jesus’s words ‘you wouldn’t have power over me if my father would not had gave it to you’. And also remember for how long David was mortified and pursued by Saúl before he became king. That by the way, that was what Saúl was trying to prevent all along 😅

@@cocococococo7091 That's right 😊

Thank you for this confirmation; I still struggle with this…..people who were abusive to me who have died…..but ( for MY peace) I need to 100% forgive them. I say to God, “I remove myself as judge; I give the gavel to YOU.” Bless you for sharing 🙏😇

Same here except with Buddhist teachings.

Never too late 🤔

Me too

1 these people are devoid of their own basic personality, and they are totally devoid of empathy, patience, and sometimes trust and integrity. These people are basically stuck in early toddlerhood only. 2 the only difference between a two and half year old toddler and a narcissist person is that a toddler does not have language to express their tantrums, but a narcissist guy has language and they keep doing all tantrums all the time with their language. They cannot empathise and put their legs in shoes of others 3 as a small child or toddler follows modelling method in her day-to-day behaviour and growth. These people also follow modelling only. So they will replicate your behaviour all the time if we become angry, even on very genuine thing, they will also get angry on any nonsense thing. 4 I think this psychiatric association and psychologist should stop these personality disorder to be called as narcissistic personality disorder. It is basically a toddlerhood personality disorder. 5 and I think these people only can be deal with correct modelling method as we adopt with toddler, which is very soft, polite, and nice behaviour in all situations and circumstances unconditionally. The number one thumb rule is not to argue with them ever however wrong they are.

Perfectly said. I finally learned this and practicing it consciously and faithfully has made my life so much better; I feel free now, and comfortable with myself.

Very good advise don’t be friendly

Yes it is the last laugh!

Lol

Exactly ❤👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Excellent point of view!

❤

1000% accurate!!!!

In healing from narc abuse (x3), I am still not convinced that they hate themselves.

​@@joysachs9032you can't set boundaries with these people without the police and courts invovled..and even then still.... they don't respect boundaries. If you don't speak at all they will still scream and berate you til they get tired of course if you have to live together. It's exhausting. Phuck them all. Vessels that demons live in, literally. The craziest shit I've ever experienced.

​, it's inside themselves, they are miserable. Think of it this way: "Happy Campers" just don't go around hurting people.. Happy people want other people to be Happy, Secure, Safe, and at Peace

💯

Well said 😮

I didn't change. I escaped.

@@FiringSquad81Good for you!! No Contact is the only solution

​@FiringSquad81, you're so lucky. I stayed too long, danced, and changed, then struggled to reinvent myself.... still struggling but getting there, happy and free!

Yes. We must change inside out. To detach and detach and detach and free as ourselves

wayda go.

This was awesome read 😂😂😂

Be careful. I tried that with mine and he set about destroying my reputation.

@@EL-gu8fv Thank you for the warning. The people who know me and care about me will know he is lying if he does a smear campaign. They are the only ones who matter. Besides I have been through the smear campaign multiple times. The truth has come out.

Be careful with those people. He could try to destroy something belonging to you. I have some neighbors, not very nice, and sometimes I wonder if they are the ones doing things behind my back

Amen!!!

Amen

I just heard this verse on the radio this morning!

Amen

Amern

KNOW your worth! Don't go for less.

​@@susannabonke8552 exactly this!! Be self sufficient in everything and your worth more than gold.

@@Lyrielonwind only silence makes them respect you, shut them down if they come in for a Hoover make it clear you are not letting them back in, don’t explain why

⁠​⁠@@Angelthunder11Not sure about the “makes them respect you”…a true narc doesn’t respect anyone including themselves! It is a mental deficiency/disorder that requires confrontation and deep cleansing of the constant toxic attitude!

@@Rixster53 very true which is why you must keep them in the dark literally because they already are in darkness, do not let them read your emotions easily. Even Peter who loves Jesus betrayed him and denied him 3 times, he didn’t want to accept that Jesus was the cup even though he had all the evidence, Jesus rebuked him and said get be behind me Satan. Jesus knew it wasn’t even Peter it was the spirit of deception in Peter…

Good point

Exactly! When he made the statement about narcissistic abuse being a result of being with people, we have no business being with, I cringed. I agree in the case of choosing friends or romantic relationships, but it is not a one size fits all statement. Like you, I was born into a toxic family .

@@leahleigh7958 Wishing you a better life moving forward 💓

So….you are teaching us to do what the narcissistic people do? Diminish their importance, skip the effort to communicate first with them and go directly to avoidant/going dark discarding them, diminishing their importance in our lives? Aren’t these things narcissistic people do?

I agree with you. Everyone can’t walk away from such people. But God will help those who can’t protect themselves. All these things will help you to grow in spirit and depend on God more. God is watching everything and he cares for you. Be of good courage and rejoice in Him and He will set you free.❤

You forgot to add that They also feed of your FEARS. 😢

My husband destroys me every time l am or look happy. I now turn his nasty comments into jokes and piss myself laughing! Oops...he is sooo confused and hates it🤣

True! It worked yesterday.

​@@debbiemcindoe3779 Get out now!

Not a boundary until YOU take action. You cannot just order people around. YOU have to tell them what YOU will do when they do XYZ. Then do it!

I thought the same 👍

I don't think I'm an introvert, but I absolutely agree that this is the BEST!!

exactly. I have realized that "hey what have you been doing?" like a normal person would say is just the beginning of a barrage and a gate opened for the narc (as if they were waiting for it they were going to do it anyway) I agree totally with your number 2. No more listening to them talk about themselves and what the newest they have is. Sticking to business at hand is the best. Changing the subject may be a challenge to them, but who cares? Change it again and again back to the weather or the road construction in the area.

Thanks, I fell into the trap of assuming most people have common values. This is far from the case.

Wisdom 😊

Nicely done!

❤

Same, it’s the only way to protect/show self love to yourself.❤

I think I do this too.

Vampires.

Yes. Exactly... It is None of their business, how I feel, or what I am doing

This makes sense alot

Makes me nauseous as well

If you felt that way all day, your decision to give a miss to the invitation is surely right! Congratulations!

Even if you voice your boundaries, they still do not know how to give any respect.

@@alexandria3004 because you already know it will be pointless to voice your boundaries that only works with someone who is empathetic and understands. Set the boundary with them and with yourself and don’t announce it don’t explain just reject them discard and show indifference

​@@Angelthunder11Be prepared to walk away after you set them. Otherwise, boundaries are useless

Advice starts at 4:30

Just say "I prefer not to do that".

You can’t MAKE anyone do anything. But YOU have to decide what YOU will do when they don’t respect you.

@@brendarewan7441 Actually, you can make them stop doing certain things by drawing clear boundaries.

Oh how I wish I could do this. But unfortunately, it’s different when it’s a former spouse who you share minor children with.

​@@kyliCatherine1 That struggle is REAL. I'm in the same boat. They are truly the devil.

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

WTF how many videos have you cut and paste your bullshit into?

Thanks for the name . Narc in laws!! 😂

😢🙏🇺🇸as a young lady it pains me to hear your widowed and dealing with narracism!!! I married a covert one for almost 30 years! Thank Gid I’m out and he is right! Don’t give them attention they thrive off of positive and negative attention

Oh, I am sorry 😢... I had ones like that next door for 12 years! Rude. Rude. Rude. Plus, they damaged my property. I think the man was a thief, too. Finally they moved... Best day of my Life

@@patriciaalbertson5183 Thank you for your kind words and insight … truly appreciated!

@@Portia620 Thank you for your kind words and insight … truly appreciated! I’m hanging in there; and may resort to calling the police and taking legal action against them to stop them once and for all.

Just to be on the safe side...alert your local police of the problem next time it happens and tell them you feel threatened and do not want to be identified to the neighbors, but would appreciate an officer drive by now and then to check things over in the neighborhood. If they see or hear anything out of the ordinary, they will address the issue and you don't need to be involved.

I’m very similar. Power and peace to you.

My armour is my self love...they feed or are attracted to our unhealed trauma...forgive yrself ..like attract like..

Yes. Boundaries without consequences are just wishes.

I think with most people this works but not with those that show signs of personality disorders. For myself, I started distancing for holidays, birthdays and I stopped being a people pleaser with my family. I was doing all the inviting, hosting and planning. Once I stopped, due to Perusing my career/goals/wants, I really did attract what I needed. The less I was around these people the better I felt. I am grateful for all the times we had. Then I reached a point where I couldn’t level up unless I made some room for me and my desires. It’s been years and I can breathe and not be involved in the chaos.

You don't always need to tell people what you'll do if they disrespect you or your boundaries. Many times people are not willing to actually follow through, and sometimes you can't even know what consequences are doable. Decent people don't need to hear consequences to respect boundaries. They just need to know what the boundaries are.

Not that easy.

Your decision and action to stay away set the boundary.

Oh yes. I was told I get meaner and more hateful as I age.😅 Buddy you ain't seen nothing yet.

​@@karenannemaddox5794You won't see or hear any more of their smear campaigns and flying monkeys if you just cut all contact. Block, delete, ignore.

Very well put. But careful, by interacting with them they brake that connection bit by bit. That's why no contact is better.

@@veronical3135Sometimes you can't avoid narcissistic people.

@@Morgan313 THEY ARE EVERYWHERE! 😅

A good authentic frequency attracts bad or good people! Everybody wants a piece but not all will treat you fair! You have to use your discernment , which ones are worth your energy ,and which ones who aren’t.

Why are you taking ownership by say “ my” narc. Like it’s your own special personal narcissist

Boo Yaa!!! Good Job😂😂😂

Nice job!❤

Oh that's useful, thanks! Note to self: stop giving them head space

You are a boundary Boss!

@@barbarabuttler7647 and it seems harsh and cold. But, it became ABUNDANTLY CLEAR to me, that if I didn’t have solid boundaries, I’d be destitute, dead or want to be dead. Something about my personality, causes these people to believe I won’t even save myself from them. Then, they become painfully aware that, I will. As I said to that “friend”, “Warm smile. Take no prisoners.” As empathetic as I feel I am, because I’m always nice to people and kind and loving to animals, I have zero empathy for narcissists. So, maybe when I deal with them, I become an indifferent psychopath. Not sure.

That's why a boundary must always be connected to a Consequence

Maybe wearing earphones will help you when you have to deal with her in terms of feeding her or whatever. That would enrage her but you don't have to listen to her nonsense. You can't help her with her panic attacks because she needs to hear you first to help her co-regulate. I've tried with two people who were very anxious to teach them to breathe deep and slow which helps managing anxiety... They refused the help, got upset with me and I didn't bother with them anymore. They ended up showing their true colors; covert narcissist playing the pity game for supply. I was the only one who could help my aunt (rest in peace) that way during a panic attack but first I had to silence her husband (he must be in hell) and my narcissistic sister who were making everything worse. I really recommend diaphragmatic breathing and guided meditation with earphones. They won't fix your life but help the more you do them and you will save yourself of her talking. Remember you can't change people. That took me time to accept with my saviour complex. Best wishes 🙏

@Lyrielonwind I DO put on headphones and watch RU-vid videos to avoid hear her incessant rants. I do the same while practicing playing songs on my guitar. Plug in the amp and Im in bliss.

I can’t imagine 😢

They always use illnesses to seek your empathy, she’s tormented by demons in her conscious for things she’s done that is why she has panic attacks, I hope you find a way to distance and heal

Why do you have to live with her ? You owe her nothing . Warmest from me in australia

❤❤❤❤❤❤

"Good fences make good neighbors."

I need fence too 😂

Thank you! Excellent “motto” 🙌

Yes 24 carat !!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Excellent!

Me too. I think maybe humans weren't supposed to see each other as much as we do. Remember there were no cars way back when.

Sorry - years of my marriage - not “words”

Yes that happened to me. I didn’t totally stop speaking to my narcissistic mother but just called less and stayed away because it was exhausting. She complained to friends and they gave me a very hard time. They never understood, no matter how hard I tried. 😢

It's not IQ my friend it's EI. Emotional Intelligence ❤