I struggled with this too (editing/perfectionism) in my first story and ended up getting so stuck that I couldn't continue writing my story. I can't remember who said this but someone on RU-vid suggested that the first draft should just be you telling the story to yourself - word vomit and all - so that way you get the gist of what you want the story to be and who your characters are "in practice". Then come the many rounds of edits (developmental/line/proofreading). This works better for me because then I'm not stuck in perfectionist purgatory. This might feel like doing extra work but honestly I've always worked best this way even when writing essays/reports. My brain can't seem to be both creative/generative and organized/hyper intentional at the same time so I've come to terms that this is what works for me and maybe it might work for you too.
I loved that short collection of Disney movie examples 😂 I agree! I like to outright tell what's going on in my novel the first time around, then try and make it more subtle later.
The way I am showing internal struggle is by showing how my MC tries to put boundaries around what he is doing. He knows what he is doing is wrong but justifies it by saying he is not doing (whatever is outside his arbitrary line in the sand)
As soon as you said “Disney movies are famous for doing this” I started singing “I wanna be where the people arrre” and then you launched right into the supercut😂 What an awesome video, fantastic content and great production!
Putting all your details in the first draft is such a good tip, because that's what JK Rowling does, basically she had a backstory for almost all the characters she wrote, and the world and magic system is way more detailed than it seems, but she only left the parts that mattered to Harry's story.
A fab video as always. I particularly like the idea of doing lots of 'telling' in the 1st draft, then editing it out later. Please please please do a vid on your thoughts re 1st/2nd/3rd person writing.
Telling is a necessary tool. Think of your words like this: telling is you sketching the art with the borders and lines, and showing is you coloring the art. I have a lot of notes on how to show, but I'd recommend if you have a good handle on it, show as much detail as you think is necessary, then cut later.
I'm 10 and a LITTLE too distracted. Abbie Emmons is the only youtuber who can hold my attention span as long as 11 minutes. P.S. I'm writing a full-length supernatural novel and every video you upload has been super supportive to me.
Thank you for these incredible videos! I have found that verb choice is everything. Here's an example: He broke into a smile. "I'd love to." OR He pasted on a smile. "I'd love to." I haven't spelled out the emotions of the character, yet you know exactly how he feels. The latter sentence shows internal conflict without the character falling into a brown study. Of course you are completely manipulating the reader, but in a way they love! :)
I believe I understand. Sentence 1 has the character genuinely smiling b/c "broke into a smile" indicates true feelings. Sentence 2 indicates he's putting up a front. "Pasted" makes us wonder why he has to fake a smile. Who is he faking the smile at and why? Was that what you were going for, or am I over-analyzing it?😅
literally found this and my jaw dropped listening. i show the internal conflict throughout the story but tell it all in chapter 1. thank you for saving my story once again, Abbie!
I’m a 21 year old aspiring author based in india. I’ve been working on a story for about four years and it’s very close to becoming a book. All my characters face intense internal conflict and my protagonist faces it the most. Thank you so much for your videos. They’re really inspiring!
I'm writing a new novel. And these videos are so helpful! Thank you, Abbie. 💛 And I really need a vedio about how to choose a tence for the story. To either write it in past or present.
Kamar Masri I know this comment is older - but I am preferring past tense ! I tried present and found with my writing style , it didn’t work as well. Past just seemed to be easier too 🤔 but we are of course all unique
me binge-watching all Abbie's stuff...thinking....'huh, she has a captivating personality and very, very informative ....thank you, your input MATTERS!
Making time sections of the video in your description box is everything. It makes it so easy to come back and remind needed informations! Thank you, you’re my favourite now. 😎✨
I'm a little puzzled by your vehemence about not revealing backstory, or internal conflict, through dialogue. Compared to flashbacks, this is much less artificial, imo. The trick is to show the internal conflict by what the character says, and what they don't say. People will talk around uncomfortable subject, put obvious gloss on events they're ashamed of, be dismissive of things that really scare them. Of course just using a character to infodump is bad writing, but when characters tell each other parts of their stories, what they say and avoid saying are very revealing.
This is so helpful (I took down notes on my phone while watching this). I always struggle with this but this really helps me understand what not to do and how to show it by digging deeper into the character's backstory. Sadly, many shows and films have a bad habit of telling the audience what is going on. They really don't think we're smart enough (or their putting it in there for the younger audience). xD But it's easy to see that and think it's a good idea to do the same thing in a novel ^-^; It rubs off on you after a while.
I'm so glad you liked this video and took notes!! ✨ YOU ROCK. And yes I agree 100% it's really so unnecessary to tell the audience everything... most books/movies/tv shows already show it, and it just makes me feel like i'm being told what to think. ugh 😂
"Show, don't tell." could also be expressed as "Describe, don't explain." I leaned that one from the RU-vid Channel ShaelinWrites. Thanks for the tips!
Now, this is what I call a great piece of information. Like, it's amazing how she dissected every internal conflict of all the writers here. She is damn experienced for such a young age (don't mind me, I'm just very impressed by her) and how she talks. It's all chef's kiss! ✨👏🏻👏🏻
Ahhh, your videos are so helpful. I'm halfway through writing a novel at the moment and this was really helpful for the point I'm at right now! Love you and your videos, also, cannot wait for 100 Days of Sunlight!
This is really helpful. Awhile back I watched a video about how to write an emotionally intense novel where they gave examples of telling how the character is feeling and I think I misinterpreted it to mean the character should tell their internal conflict. I realize now these are two very different things.
I know this video is 3 years old but getting it all out on the first draft is what I needed to hear and actually lifted a lot of weight off my shoulders. Just vomit it all out of your system, then clean it up later. Thanks for sharing this video it really helped out a lot.
I liked that you used backstory as a way to build internal conflict. I love using backstory in my novels, but I never realized I was building on internal conflict until I look back at them after watching this video. I guess it was so organic that even I didn't realize it was happening lol. Anyways, great video and great advice as always!
I actually always search for Character analyses of successful characters and think about how I can use that for my own characters, without copying them. Sometimes it helps to get an idea of what is still missing to make the character believable.
I just watched another video by a great youtuber called Brooks. I think she's an editor. She introduced me to a fancy word called introspection lol. Also helped me on my neverending struggle of show-vs-tell!! She gave lots of examples from publised books. I think all of us are super afraid of committing this class A sin. Abbie is right though, if we get all obsessed with it, we'll never finish writing whatever it is we're writing. It's just down the rabbit hole of doom, over and over again every time a character goes through something remotely like internal emotion/conflict. Just write darnit!!! Thanks for the smack, I needed it bad Abbie
Thanks for the recommendation. Because some people are introspetive and are more less self-aware enough that they are able to pinpoint their internal conflict, or at least the root of their issues after some time. So I wanted an opinion on that. I'll look for this video :)
I love Abbie, she is so helpful with my work. I am heading towards my finish / climax and struggling just a bit. It's like all my internal conflict has come out and we're at the other side thinking well what happens next. This is what I've got to sort out. No doubt Abbie will see me through.
Your the first that captures my style of writing. Thank you this is my 2nd video I have watched from you. Now I've got to watch more. New writer, just wrote 3 books and your explanations for my style is right on the money.
So love how u explained things, but I also feel that humans can be objective they can see the world the way it is and not in their own perspective of reality it's a rare trait but it exists none the less.
I agree with what you say here about allowing yourself to be "telly", when writing your first draft. It's definitely something that can be fixed, at the revision and editing stage. I'm loving your videos and blog, and am binge watching your playlists, when I get the chance. I like your perspective, and you give great tips. 😃💝
Great, thanks! This does make sense, and I had already written my protagonist's passionate wish as part of her internal musings, so now when I edit it, I can try to make it more subtle, as in her just imitating the speaking style of one of the people she relates to (and thinks she belongs to, lol), etc. So fun!
I think that Colleen Hoover do this very well. Show us the character past using flash backs. Some times she will tell, but I love when she shows, like ... It end with us? OMG, so good! You undestend the charecter and fear for them, because in the most of the time you thinking something like "God, this end up really bad", but you keep reading. You care about them, you know what I mean? Anyway, I loved this video!
FInally, someone comes along with the warp and the weft of writing we so missed from the books and journals and the experts! I smile and laugh with your tips and hacks in writing. I simply love your videos, Abbie!
🤣 2:53 and I’m already invested in said character hahaha the way you speak is so fascinating I’m taking notes but feel like I need to note every word… I’m not writing a book but I’m looking to story tell my life on RU-vid in a way that connects viewers and myself to a better understand and just all the things, I got done audiobook listening to building a story brand..
Worst than telling too much, IMO, is when we are told something about a character but shown something entirely different about said character ... That happens often and I find it very frustrating. PS : I really really love your videos. They are clear, to the point and I appreciate that you always give exemples. Actually, you could make "part 2" videos just about finding illustrations/exemples of your points from various mediums and genres and I would watch them over and over again. XD Thank you for helping so many aspiring authors out there. Or just people who love yo overanalyze the stories they consume.
Character voice! Depending on people's background, desires and fears, they start using a very specific language to communicate or for internal thoughts. Also they react in a very specific way to things that trigger their own insecurities, hence acting more aggressive or defensive. This makes a good point for someone who pays attention to guess their inner struggle. Yesterday I was working on a scene of my MC, and I tried to use a specific language in his inner dialogue. Being psysically disfigured he had a fair share of encounters with judgemental people. So naturally as he ends up spending the night with a harlot, he internally distances himself from any kind word she sais to him, because he knows this wouldn't happen if it wasn't for the money. His thoughts kinda go like. "Well THATS new. He wonders... Is she still satisfied with her share of the deal? Was it all worth it? Was HE worth it? Surely there where still better ways for her to earn money. But still here she was". At least this way I hope to portray his inner insecurity about his appearance, and him being unable to take the genuine kind words of a stranger seriously.
this helped a lot. I think wattpad/ fanfic writers fail to be non perfectionist since they have to upload a chapter fast. Editing is really time consuming when you're only writing for fun and they won't have the freshest eyes when they do edit. (speaking from experience) but nowadays, i actually finish the first draft first before editing each chapter and uploading all chapters at once or at least a quarter of the chapters.
Thank you for making this video. I really struggle to find a balance between showing and telling with the internal conflict and fears, but I know that I can always edit later.
I think that it's important to look into the little details For example if I want to say that my female character has trust issues because her dad left her when she was little, I can write a whole scene where she is chilling in the park and then she sees a happy little girl with her dad and that's it she's there looking at them in silent. Then after that maybe it would make more sense when she pushes her love interest away. JUST WITH THAT ESCENE
I actually disagree with “We don’t know what our internal conflicts are.” With a little bit of self reflection, anyone can see what in the past hurts them. It’s much harder to pick out what your fatal flaw is, but our internal struggle, whatever we cope with, that’s easy to see. Sometimes our insecurities are easy to see, but not easy to say out loud too. Obviously this wouldn’t be the case for all characters. It’s hard to see an arrogant narcissist being genuinely self-aware. But for a character that actually stops and thinks sometimes, it’s believable. - Also side note, I just found this channel and the advice has been all around good 😋
7:21 I think the only way this could work is if the charicter thinks they havs their problems pinpinted down but theyre wrong or off by an inch. Ex: someone who's actions show they have controll issues & manipulate people almost by force of habit. But they think (and say) that their problem is that theyre a habitual liar that alwas has to be leader. And later in the story its addressed that they're wrong in thinking what their problem is
Hi there Alexa. I am one of those explicit learners. That means concrete information. But yes that can happen too as you said in show and tell methods. Now do keep in mind the modality or medium of writing to be delivered which comes in many categories, along with their audience/public. I do think, to get to the gist of Show/Tell...that these are often used together...but the writing must be divided just like character roles...into categories..where do we want the show and the tell, one or the other or just show or tell but not both. For example, the book cover is show, the back cover is show and tell..for example the authors description is definitely all tell, brags stuff and rights. The description of the content of the author can be a little bit of both but we'd sooner go for show as a method of delivery since you dont want to release your content, so this is an abstract of your whole book perhaps in a simplified yet complex format. The setting, definitely tell and show, where in New England, how is the weather, what season what climate...describe those sooner and show your emotions and how does mother earth and seasons express and perhaps show emotions, feelings etc. The characters..a little of both..show (feelings, emotions etc...yet experience can be both). Character roles...vilain, starring, co starring, friend, foe, untrusting etc...all that is built up. Just providing some jabber giftedness here..or ungiftedness so perhaps your audience begins to differentiate all the subtleties that go into a novel, direction, screenwriting, filming, acting etc. Dialogue can be both and narration is perhaps show. Guess, what...a lot of songs..are they show...I would go with the best songs like Away in a Manger are show; the Star Spangle Banner is Show...I think I get it now, Memory the song for CATS the Musical.
I would love if you could do an episode that focuses on the use of backstory and flashbacks for a story that is mostly set in current times. But by using books instead of movies for the examples. I feel like flashbacks work in movies because of video and editing/ special effects you can do to make events that they are in the past or to show them in parallel to another scene. But writing that would be so much harder. I also have heard a lot of feedback that many readers do not like multiple flashbacks in a book.
How do you think I am going with showing their emotions and not telling them? Alice walked up to the front and just as she was beginning, she waved to Dylan, he didn't wave back. Nobody knew who she waving to. "Look! She has an imaginary friend to cheer her on!" Called out one of her classmates. Laughter flooded the classroom and it kept going and going until her ears rang. As she looked around the room, her face became red, hot tears rushed down her face as she ran out of the room. Dylan looked back in pity, regretting his decision. Do you like it?
Not really disagreeing with anything here as far as story goes, but I do disagree with your point that people don't know what their flaws are. We can totally know what our flaws are and still not be able to do anything about them. The subconscious is strong, stronger than us. The first step is realizing the flaw, but that's just the start of the struggle, and there's nothing to say we will ever conquer it. Just something to think about.
People who don't like you will tell you in what way exactly you stink. Of course it is hard to take from such people, but possible. Also, there is the mirror method: what you hate in someone else will be what is actually wrong with you, not them. I agree with you totally - how can we see our own blind spots? We can't!
Abbie is encouraging us to show through our story what our characters internal conflict is rather than just telling it. Your story is stronger when you show, therefore you don't need to tell. As for knowing their flaws, sure some people do, and a lot of people don't. Even if you do know your internal conflict there is still no need to TELL it, just show it regardless. That's what Abbie means - I agree with Abbie.
@@AucklandNZ1 But in the case of a self-awarene character who knows what they are struggling with, they might reflect on it or confide to another character at some points. I guess the challenge here would to find a balance and not overdo it.
I agree. I'm quite self-aware of my own issues but don't really bother fixing it. It's like how a person that smokes know that cigarettes are bad yet still don't stop before things go awry.
I recently read The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah, and this is such a great way of describing my critique of that book. Great story, but the skeleton was totally showing.
Okay, this has nothing to do with this video in particular, but I just wanted to know if anyone had any tips on showing emotion. I tend to say things like, 'I felt scared' or 'I felt excited' instead of showing it. I want to stop telling and start showing, but I'm kind of lost. Do you have any tips or advice on this topic? Are there any books that I should read that do this especially well? Thank you for all you do Abbie, your videos help me SO much!
I think it might help as an exercise, if you can't find examples from real life, to watch films and notice the most blatant to subtle expressions of such emotions among characters and take notes about their body language and actions. If we use fear as an example, you might notice in a lot of horror films that characters tend to sweat and tremble with racing heartbeats when afraid. They might desperately want to flee or hide, behave in ways that become very instinctive and sometimes very clumsy, become very wide-eyed, cling onto others for comfort, start rambling almost incoherently and in the most cynical of ways about how everyone is doomed, do their best to hold back a scream (they don't actually have to scream), etc. You can also even compare it between the actions of two characters. If we look at Aliens (1986), for example, Pvt. Hudson boasts in the most brash way during the dropship landing about how they're all going to kick butt. Yet quickly we start to sense a subtle shrillness and uneasiness in his voice and the sense that he's way more talkative than he should be if he's so sure of himself. Meanwhile, when we contrast his actions to the actions of Cpl. Hicks (one of the few characters that doesn't panic at all throughout the film), Hicks simply dozes off during the dropship landing while Hudson rambles away.
When Abby do be helping me with my issues as my own character 😭 What I think would make me happy: becoming what I always dreamed of being and succeeding in it! Fear: being A failure in life alone.
Another super video, Abbie. Thanks. In response to your request for how we show instead of telling our stories, I watch people nd listen to them, and jot down their behaviour, so I can use my observances to bring my characters to life.
Dissecting my flaws from a place observation and solving my internal conflicts is one of my favorite pass times. I listen inward from my soul/ intuition and make the necessary changes. All stuff that doesn’t need to change just needs to grow. I’m learning to have faith in myself and in my writing and that means working through the uglies with Patience, Perseverance, and Grit!
Thank you so much for your kind words! They mean so much to me, and I am thrilled that the content I make encourages you to chase your dreams and make your story MATTER!
I think a preface that differentiates novels from Comedy, Satyre etc...may be needed but yes...most showing can conjure up the visuals and images and even the mistakes when the reader or listeners brings all that information together. I think this too might be included in Blooms Taxonomy as critical and analytical thinking.
"what we're not supposed to do is tell the internal emotions of the characters." eh, I would say that's circumstantial. if you are inside the character's mind (which is the case if they are the POV character in a written story), then describing what's inside their mind (including their internal emotions) isn't any worse than describing their house.
I think what she meant is not telling the subconscious internal conflicts? Because they're different. When we are writing as if we are the characters talking in our own heads, we are telling the readers their conscious thoughts, but subconscious conflicts are always shown instead of described or told, otherwise it's not a deep conflict, it's just rationalisation.
Thanks for the amazing tips, once again! I'm having a hard time figuring out whether or not I'm introducing the internal conflict correctly. My character's conflict is based around the fact that he will be the next King and he wants to do right by his people, but doesn't believe he is capable of it because many people don't like him and he's constantly doubting himself. In his first scene he starts off by mentioning that he doesn't believe he's fit for the job, and I think it's perfectly reasonable for someone to talk about their doubts with someone they trust, but at the same time I'm afraid I'm telling instead of showing. I just don't think that showing his backstory would do the story any good, because all you have to know is that he's the heir to the throne, people don't like him and he doubts himself. I don't think that I need to write his backstory to make that clear, since it's already clear he's the Prince, his self doubt is clear in the way he talks and presents himself and the fact people don't like him will be clear from the start. Sorry for the long comment, haha. I'm just kinda thinking out loud here.
Maybe explain why people don't like him? And why he doubts himself despite the fact he was raised and groomed to inherit the throne? There might be reasons for that : past mistakes, having been treated like he could never do good enough, bullying, betrayal, etc. and maybe the roots of his issues can be showed instead of tell. Through flashbacks for instance. I agree that some people (and therefore some characters) are self-aware and will confide in someone close that they trust. Try to find a balance between telling and showing.
@@elisa4620 Hi! Thank you for the feedback! I didn't expect anyone would read this, haha. I have decided I will show a few scenes from his upbringing, like when he was born and the people protested because they didn't want a half-breed on the throne, and when he first discovered as a child that people will go above and beyond to make sure he won't be King (the scene is when some people he was supposed to trust try to have him killed). I'm not sure yet if there will be another scene from his past after that (perhaps a scene in which he's older and tries to overcome his fear, but it goes wrong), but I hope this will show the root of his insecurity so that it makes sense when he talks about it later. Thank you for the advice! This was really helpful.
One thing that I think you should really use as an example is LOST. It is *such* a good show! There are like, 20 protagonists, yet they developed each and every one perfectly while not having it be too much. They made a very good use of flash backs that didn’t interrupt anything. The whole story is literally built off of flashbacks and internal conflict. Every episode is exploring another characters conflict and personality and never lets you down with the mystery, action, and adventure. It’s a kinda old show, but &definitely* worth a watch if you haven’t seen it yet. Also fun fact, LOST had one of the most racially diverse casts of its time that wasn’t extremely racist.
Nicola Yoon (Sun is Also a Star) is an interesting one. I'm not exactly sure if it's a habit but the same thing happened to me when reading Everything, Everything. I guessed the ending plot twist by page 8. I'd have to go back and read and see if maybe there is a pattern of telling a little too much.
Most of my flashbacks and internal conflicting my stories is triggered by certain situations and all of them eventually tell their past to the person they are closest with in my stories it's usually the MC's lover the person who would read it knows parts here and there from mini flashbacks and internal dialogue but the full past doesn't come out till they open up and tell their past it's never oh I'm insecure about this because of this no it's triggered by the lover or closest person allowing the MC to talk or sometimes if something happens the MC will ask their closest person if they can talk about something and it goes from there I'm also currently working on a new story and so far I think it's going well considering if I get inspiration I just start writing the story and let it form itself but I won't know if it's good till I finish and read it all the way through one story I did have to make changes because one story became two and it made absolutely no sense not to mention I write everything by hand on notebook pages and don't type it because I'm bad at typing and prefer doing it by hand it's more soothing that way for me and sorry my grammar is bad I know
The absolute best way to show is when you can have some conflict or emotion building through a scene and then have one striking image at the end that brings it to the surface. The best example I can think of is a plate left in the sink when doing dishes..."it was easily missed." From Helen Humphreys, The Lost Garden. Check it out.
Characters go through a lot of conflict in their internal monologue. How is it best to do that without being too direct. Like "J knew he was afraid of being manipulated. But wasn't he supposed to be afraid of that?" or "The contract said Producers could lie to him, or rather that if he listened to their advice, and it didn’t go his way, that was his own stupid fault for listening to them."
I'm writing a post-apocalyptic sci-fi fi.Where a side character tells why the side character is the way she is. He says, "I found her when I was sixteen. She was hiding under a man's corps, trying to sleep. She was eight. It was two years since the claps. I later found out. I was the first living human she had seen since that day."
My favorite way is the method Hemingway used a lot. It’s really really evident in that short story ‘Hills like White elephants’. In the story you get a set of circumstances really... you also get dialogue that, on the surface, is giving you very little to work with. But somehow the reader is brought to understand the emotion behind what’s going on. You figure it out just from the set of circumstances and the seemingly misleading dialogue. I almost feel like the whole story is like an algebra equation, where you basically figure out what Information is missing, by hints and process of elimination. On the surface it seems like it might not be straightforward enough, but believe me it is. You end up totally understanding what’s going on, and you walk away wondering why you understand. There is such an undercurrent of suggestion. I think that’s what really makes it work. Even the phrase “white elephant”, is a description that suggests a gift that’s unknown and scary. Are you going to like this gift? Etc. I’m not a big fan of Hemingway as a person, but, like-him-or-not, he’s a master of showing and not telling. Basically, if there are people out there who don’t know, his whole concept of writing is the iceberg method.This is the concept that you only see what’s above the ice and not all the shit lingering underneath the surface. But all the stuff above the surface is meant to suggest what lingers below. I’m not big into weaving in flashbacks. It’s just a personal preference. My only beef is that I see that method mostly in movies, but I don’t really think it’s necessary in books. In a movie script it makes more sense to weave in flashbacks because it’s harder to show subtext when you don’t get to describe the imagery. If I’m being honest I don’t think it’s entirely necessary in films either, but I understand it more. I don’t think that’s an end all be all rule; I might use a flashback here in there, but generally I try to be sparse with my flashbacks.
I see what you're saying. I like flashbacks but one way of screwing them u is when they are introduced TOO LATE into a movie or book. Signs, starring Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix, did this and I was baffled. Why was this introduced 40 minutes into the movie?
@@jacindaellison3363 lol I feel like signs would've been a really great movie if they had never shown the alien. The writing was really suspenseful, the acting was really good and the subtext was really intense. Then they showed a green alien who can't touch water, but is (for some reason ) on a Waterworld like earth… lol. That would be like humans going to a world that was mostly acid, lol
@@me_yessik I know, right? WATER KILLS THEM? It's like the director had something going and then realized "hey, my signature is plot twists, gotta add one" and here we go.
@@me_yessik unfortunately, I didn't enjoy Signs. I felt like the story was boring, the acting was bad, the characters were dull, and, yeah, that plot twist was lazy and nonsensical.
