How to Speak Up for Yourself!

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For some reason being assertive always gets lumped in with being aggressive.. Or being a jerk. But trust me, being assertive is something completely different! Being assertive is when you are able to stand up for yourself (or others in your life) without being aggressive, or being passive and accepting something that’s hurtful or not right for you. And we do all of this calmly with a positive goal in mind.
1. Self talk 2. Boundaries 3. Notice your triggers 4. Write it out and practice
5. Start small 6. Ask questions 7. You can disagree 8. Compromise 9. Toxic people do exist.
My video about saying no: • It's hard to say NO
I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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Опубликовано:

15 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 543

@marybarrett2002 3 года назад

At 55 I am learning how to speak up for myself.. I have been a doormat my whole life... How sad.. But I am finally finding my voice......

@jackilynpyzocha662 9 месяцев назад

Me, too. A scapegoat, too. Groomed for this by the narcissist since I was a kid: disaster.

@cyndigooch1162 9 месяцев назад

@@jackilynpyzocha662 Me three! 🙋‍♀️

@isaaca6445 9 месяцев назад

@@jackilynpyzocha662me too! 😢

@bunny19-xk5mj 9 месяцев назад

Best wishes for you ❤️

@angelamillstumax8569 8 месяцев назад

I'm the same and I'm glad I'm speaking up now 😊😊😊

@sophiadavenport3959 4 года назад

At 27 I'm still working on this, I want to express my emotions without hurting other people's feelings.

@alyssafisher4798 4 года назад

A whisper of Patricia same! Im 26 and thought that once I was an adult in a career job I would just start asserting myself and being confident but that hasn’t come naturally...

@Katimorton 4 года назад

I am too!! I can sometimes do it, but others times it's so hard! I hope these tips are helpful :) xoxo

@sophiadavenport3959 4 года назад

@@Katimorton I'm permanently subscribed to this channel.💛

@_just_TK 4 года назад

A whisper of Patricia Welcome to the Community!

@sixteen.candles.4644 4 года назад

Me too. Almost 30 and still struggling uhg

@BrainsApplied 4 года назад

*My main thing? Have your own opinion and say what you want, but listen to others...* Too many people take assertiveness for being cocky.

@Mushroom321- 4 года назад

YES, It means to explain while still respectful to listening..

@karakol86 4 года назад

Also people don’t like to be told no. Being assertive is making boundaries. If you don’t do what others want they will call you names. I know a few folks who only talk to me when they need something. I don’t do things for them and they don’t come around anymore.

@valhalla1240 4 года назад

It also means: checking in with people from time to time. I know what I like, but if I notice I'm getting a lot, I check in and ask: is that ok for you? It basically works the way our human rights work: your freedom shouldn't negatively affect anybody else's freedom.

@krystalrussell38 3 года назад

I wasn't taught to write it out. Everything was talk it out or be quiet. Listen and you can't speak any more of it. Limited access to understand. What about the Five ways to say I: 1) thoughts 2) wants 3) intentions 4) observations 5) feelings I learned to relate my messages to these because I'm used to hearing,"you" messages.

@krystalrussell38 3 года назад

This is in one of my books and it's very difficult.

@Sharokio 4 года назад

Just lost a friend because she didn't respect my boundaries. This video helped so much. Thank you.

@computernostalgia6293 3 года назад

Then she wasn’t really a friend.

@xxiicaviixxxx5301 3 года назад

👊 ^^ what that person said.

@n.oneimportant5 3 года назад

I had to divorce my spouse and leave my job for the same reasons. It was hard, and I wasn't thrilled to have to do it. But due to DBT, I was as skillful about it as I could be. Ultimately, I'm happier having done both.

@rachaelharper3778 10 месяцев назад

Leaving something that is toxic is better than staying even if it’s hard to let go!

@margaretdoliet1630 2 месяца назад

@@rachaelharper3778🙌🙌🙌Well said 👏

@lovinglife2232 4 года назад

Growing up it wasn't safe for my siblings and I to speak up.

@RahiVaidya 4 года назад

Loving Life same

@sophiadavenport3959 4 года назад

I can relate.

@Ilovevintage77 4 года назад

Loving Life same 😢 huge beating if we did. Still makes me afraid of what ppl might do

@nwatson2773 3 года назад

It’s not too late. Own Your Power!

@lovinglife2232 3 года назад

@@nwatson2773 Im 51 years young. Ive been in my power since my parents checked out when I was a child. Trust that being in my power just evolved over the decades

@maggie0285 4 года назад

I'm so passive that it's automatic. I don't pause long enough to know how I feel or how I want to respond. I immediately cater to people and what they want. I never object because everyone else is more important. But this is all changing for the better.

@AliKorruption 4 года назад

It's very interesting that you did this video. For the first time in my life I stood up for myself. A family member and I got into an argument, and he was yelling over me as I was speaking, I said to him " if you are not going to listen to me or try and understand, then this conversation is over " he hung up the phone. Not the reaction I wanted however I felt good that I stood up for myself. My doctor said he hung up bc he wasnt ready for me to defend myself and it caught him off guard. But it felt good!

@pamelab4910 4 года назад

I can be toxic when im triggered I’ll keep these tips in mind. Thank you❤️

@abbeyc4865 4 года назад

Peace Harmony u got this!!!!!

@paigewarren2024 4 года назад

This video came at the perfect time because I have a hard time being assertive and letting people know what I need or want. People have made me feel guilty for speaking up for myself

@alicehollamby1666 4 года назад

I struggle with social anxiety and speaking up is hard for me. Thanks so much this really helps me to understand a lot clearer x

@meri.dilkidhadkan 8 месяцев назад

Yeah same here

@jennamartin5913 4 года назад

Boundaries are a BIG thing I’m working on! I’m disabled and the last few years I’m learning to “ grow up”. My family has a really hard time respecting my boundaries. I’m always” the bad or rude or wrong one “.

@alyssafisher4798 4 года назад

I had to handle a workplace conflict today and NEEDED this video...thank you!

@abbeyc4865 4 года назад

Alyssa Fisher u got this!!

@OperationFoxley19441 4 года назад

It's like a playing a game of Wack A Mole, as soon as they raise their head, put them in their place.

@powerofroses1670 4 года назад

i am sure you can deal with thisbbn on your own. you should come up with something better.

@jamieh186 4 года назад

My therapist and I just started interpersonal effectiveness skills in DBT. So we’re starting Passive-Aggressiveness and how to be assertive. So this is awesome! You’re awesome too!

@Katimorton 4 года назад

Perfect timing!!! xoxo I hope this is helpful!!

@Mushroom321- 4 года назад

Awesome! My therapist taught us that & excerscises months ago. 😃👏

@rea8585 4 года назад

I am having one of those days when I am not the most friendly in my self talk. Thanks for this simple technique of reminding myself of some things I love about myself! 😊

@Katimorton 4 года назад

Any time!! I hope it brightened your day a bit :) xoxo

@SamanthaGorman1022 4 года назад

I struggle with confrontation so much because I hate confrontation so this video helped me prodigiously! Thanks so much Kati!

@paulflint6254 4 года назад

Im 40, and still struggle with my life being micro managed by family, great video kati, ill try to apply your info to my life

@sixteen.candles.4644 4 года назад

Uhg. Hate family like that def gotta let em know where to go.

@Anna_Banana123 2 года назад

I am 40 now. It took me years to make it clear to my father that although he has a key to my flat he can’t just walk in whenever he pleases… But even if it took years, every little step counts. Celebrate every little step like an achievement that changes your life because it does.

@paulflint6254 2 года назад

@@Anna_Banana123 thanks, do they make you feel as if your selfish too?

@paulflint6254 2 года назад

@@sixteen.candles.4644 thanks 😃

@deja3963 4 года назад

Thank you for mentioning the fact that you have to at least try to talk it out with a toxic person. Far too often I see social media posts that are like "If they yell at you even once, pack your bags burn the house down, never look back." and I'm like that's a bit extreme and kinda hypocritical. That person deserves a chance to change their behavior before you just give up on them. Everyone gets a chance.

@alexakimov 4 года назад

Right?? That's what I think when I see posts like that.. everyone makes mistakes. You can't just give up so easily!

@ladylabyrinth6345 3 года назад

Perhaps they respond this way because this is their boundary that has been pushed.

@teachpeoplehowtotreatyou8613 4 года назад

Such a great video! I am only now speaking up for myself after 56 years! Thank you for this. 😊

@admirbarucija2018 4 года назад

I really needed this video!! ❤️ I have a lot of trouble saying no and tend to tolerate too much or be really patient with being taken advantage of

@Katimorton 4 года назад

It can be so hard to say no.. I hope the tips I offer in the video are helpful :) xoxo

@admirbarucija2018 4 года назад

@@Katimorton It's absolutely difficult to say no.. how something is said matters just as much as what is being said! Thank you so much for your tips/advice!! :) Your videos have helped me become a better, more resilient person overall

@phyllismuniz8152 4 года назад

I have struggled with this my whole life. After reading self help books and tjerPy and codependent groups, lots of RU-vid videos on learning about narcissistic traits... Crying..lots of crying. I've been recognizing how afraid I have been my whole life. I'm learning to take steps to stand up for myself. Confidence not arrogance. Kindness not hostile. Learning not to compromise my self, learning my boundaries. Learning to recognize my triggers.

@phyllismuniz8152 4 года назад

Bless you for your transparency. For sharing your truth My heart is touched . I can relate with you on being sensitive to harshness of others. I cry and get so angry that I don't know how to stand up for myself.

@annak4812 4 года назад

I got to be so assertive in the last few years driven by circumstances that now i cant take any bs at all. I have gotten good at 'speaking my truth' through writing but speaking is still a problem. Because writing gives me time to research my issue and then write it down for example: a letter to the building manager after researching my rights according to the law. And I always get the situations resolved in my favor which leads me to be even more assertive. Practice makes it perfect!

@kristinamcgraine9771 4 года назад

Question: I am a passive person and working on being more assertive. However, whenever I am trying to be assertive I start to cry, especially at work...and that can be embarrassing. (I feel like I am in wise mind before I try to be assertive, but then I get emotional.) Ideas?

@sixteen.candles.4644 4 года назад

I wanna hug you bc i struggle the same way. I have anxiety so confrontation brings me to tears most times.

@rachelcoloradomy3kidz778 4 года назад

I really don't like being assertive at work because I get upset crying etc When they say something that upsets me

@powerofroses1670 4 года назад

i think you should stop your crying and stop being so dramatic.

@aurelia5905 4 года назад

@@powerofroses1670 you're an asshole. Kristina is expressing anxiety around confrontation. She is not 'being so dramatic'. Your response makes you sound like an abusive boomer parent.

@hawtwheelz 4 года назад

Kristina McGraine i feel you! id say definitely practice. even if it’s just in your mind, practicing scenarios seems to help. i think if you also practice verbally w another person it helps too. i think it’s also working slowly on the small things. i’m workin on it too :)

@ambercimburek6872 4 года назад

I almost got kicked out of my apartment recently due to not being assertive so I'm happy to hear this video.

@violentfemme30 4 года назад

I have the hardest time being assertive, especially regarding setting & upholding personal boundaries. I will definitely be using these tips. Thank you, Kati. 💕

@Mnogojazyk 2 года назад

I’m glad you included a section on the toxic person because there are times when a person is so aggressive that the only long-term solution is to dissociate from tim. It may not be a perfect solution; but when reconciliation is not viable, it may be the only viable one.

@mariabracco30 7 месяцев назад

This video is perfect timing. I have a appointment with my Doctor on Monday and I need him to hear me so thank you for this. I’m gonna Write it Out!

@elizabethmoreno5078 4 года назад

I find your point about “starting small” very interesting. Growing up my mom always told me to say something if I didn’t like something and I really feel like it’s helped me speak up for myself when I need.

@tabithalandon4793 4 года назад

I need to practice this more often! I am usually passive in most situations because I'm shy and have a difficult time speaking up. I have also went to the complete opposite end of the spectrum and was aggressive when I wasn't trying to be. The situation that sticks out in my mind where I acted aggressively was when my wound doctor was accusing me of sitting too much in my wheelchair and that was the reason I had a pressure sore again. It definitely triggered me and I blew up! Everyone was shocked that I spoke to the doctor the way I did. Not my best moment, but I was so sick of them saying it was my fault. Thanks for this video!! I'll definitely work on being assertive and not going to one extreme or the other.

@BendyDivine00 4 года назад

I like the poker chip analogy, it is like the spoon theory for persons with chronic illness.

@misanthropic985 3 года назад

My new-ish friend borrowed some of my stuff in a slick way and then got extremely upset when I asked for it back and wouldn’t say no for an answer. This was stuff I use for my career and she knew that and didn’t care at all. I finally got my stuff back and then I blocked her and cut her out. I am loving your vids, you’re so gorgeous and bright inside and out! I am not just speaking on your appearance, I mean everything about you! Thank you for sharing your talents and gifts with all of us so we can grow and be the best versions of ourselves 🙏😆💕👍😻

@tompalmer5986 3 года назад

Where I live I used to always buy instant coffee when we went to the store, and sometimes people would come by my room and ask for a teaspoon. For a while I was happy to give it to them, but I found out that if you did that once they would come back to my door again and again wanting coffee. I would have to get pretty aggressive with them to make them quit. You have to be careful about situations like that. If I see someone asking for change on the street I'm often happy to share with them. But if you're in a situation where they will see you again and again they are always going to be hitting you up for money. You just about have to deck them to get them to quit.

@ellentevault3372 4 года назад

I’ve been told for over 30 years that I need to learn to be assertive. Thank you

@JessicabelliciMa1 Год назад

Cannot believe I need a video to help me to be more assertive...I mean some younger people are full of confidents and I wasn't able to be like that at their ages and now I'm working on this. Thanks to my parenthood whom probably raise me like this... And now i'm full of resentment.

@oncodeii7509 4 года назад

It’s nice to know that some relationships are just a bad recipe and you don’t have to try to make things work afterwards. Letting go of toxic people is such a relief.

@92RKID 4 года назад

Wow, thanks for this video Kati! I am working on this with my therapist so that if someone tries to undermine my sense of self worth and esteem, I can refuse to let it get to me like it has in the past.

@sixteen.candles.4644 4 года назад

Good for you

@SeLAnDDeMiFaN33 4 года назад

I have a tendency to come off as super aggressive when in reality I’m just super passionate/ want you to understand what I mean. I don’t mean to be MEAN, and I’m actually very sensitive and passive. I usually don’t want to stand up for myself. My therapist and I JUST talked about this today! I get it world, work on it. I got it. Sheesh. 😂

@lolatJESS 4 года назад

Being assertive got me lumped up with borderline traits somehow, and when I disagreed and tried to assert myself....apparently that's an irritation symptom.. I've started asking myself is it the clinicians fault or am I not doing something right to properly assert myself to explain myself better. This video came in perfect timing...

@annikalapudas9742 4 года назад

Your videos always make me feel good. My therapist is a bit, well, not very empathetic and that has hit a nerve for me as I tend to think the worst about myself. Watching you talk so empathetically about any and all subjects have made me feel it's okay to be kind to me and have mercy for myself. So thanks a lot.

@cmills1091 4 года назад

Anni Kalapudas if you’re able, you might want to look into finding a new therapist that would work better with you than your current one does. There’s nothing wrong with needing something different than you currently have and looking for that

@taylorsheppard6924 4 года назад

I agree with Caitlyn Mills. Your current therapist sounds horrible.

@Karen-vl7vf 4 года назад

I've been waiting for this one! Thanks so much, Kati!

@Sevenoat 4 года назад

Katie, I've started working on myself and I sure wish I had found your channel sooner. Your personality makes me feel immensely safe even through the internet and it's helped a lot. Thanks for all your videos.

@lisaoc1422 4 года назад

Perfect timing on this video! Thanks, Kati!

@gamerguyry6486 4 года назад

Thank you, Kati You don't know how much this means to me. You're the best

@gregmolnar6318 4 года назад

I feel this is one of your best and most insightful videos I've watched. I've become a huge fan in the last couple of weeks! I love your delivery, how what you're saying matches how it's expressed on your face, something I can't seem to get a grasp of.

@dianavaldovinos807 2 года назад

I LOVE your delivery of these videos, very gentle and understanding, like a true friend! Thank you for your gift and sharing your tips!

@cheypam 4 года назад

Dear dear Katie, thank you so very much for this video. It really hits home. Bless your heart for tackling tough issues like this. 🤗 ❤️

@Mushroom321- 4 года назад

I LOVED acting out the skills in D.B.T. I love how you explain things. You are clear & direct Katey. 😃

@daviddied7252 4 года назад

Thank you so much! This is one of the best videos because of how hard it is to explain assertiveness and how to achieve that. Thank you once again!

@theresaleszczynski6273 4 года назад

Hi Kati. I loved this video! Being assertive is something that I have worked on for years. Thank you so much for your hard work and dedication!

@karlso7314 4 года назад

Lots of great tips here thank you Kati. Having good self care and compassion is important. Its ok to put your own needs first. Some times that does mean saying no to others and not feeling guilty for it. I have reminders so I remember to check in with my feelings regularly and it helps me to avoid being overwhelmed in situations where self assertiveness is required. It takes practice the more I do it the better skilled I become.

@melissahatfield2475 4 года назад

Hey Kati thanks for another great video you inspire me so much to help other people I love you so much you’re such an amazing person❤️

@sandwich-breath 4 года назад

Tip number 9 is so underrated at the end of this video. Its the most difficult and also most important thing to do... thank you for summarizing how to (or not) to toxic people. PS your book is great Kati!

@yle3307 4 года назад

Thanks you so much kati!! I wish you were my therapist... All the love from Italy 🇮🇹 ♥

@safiyyahzaman2334 2 года назад

Thanks alot Kati ❤️. I love your videos. They are so helpful in understanding my own self.

@leslielou4970 4 года назад

So many great points! Some people don’t even realize they’re being toxic. Thank you!!

@Debrody1 4 года назад

That last part, number nine about trying to communicate, but the other person is toxic or being toxic. I got a feeling of radical acceptance and it is okay to accept we don’t have any control. Well done Kati!

@Cymricus 4 года назад

this is one of your best videos. i ask people whether they see me as assertive or aggressive. it’s so hard to tell the difference. a lot of that nuance is discussed here.

@katc6365 4 года назад

thing is, i actually take the advice you give in your videos. it has helped me grow so much as a person. thank you for making these videos❤️

@adamrocks19 4 года назад

Great advice Kati! Thank you!

@ritasalazar4482 4 года назад

WoW, I been searching for this forever! I live with my sister who I love but talks to me like I’m her child sometimes! I’m a recovering alcoholic and don’t wish practice old behavior anymore! I ordered your book “Are you ok”! You have given me a gift of Hope! Thank you!

@emahniChannel 3 года назад

Thank you! I loved this sooooo much. I’m definitely running this back and writing my notes on this. You broke this down so well for me.

@2225ram 7 месяцев назад

Says to self over and over, “it’s ok to disagree” “it’s ok to disagree” “it’s ok to disagree!”

@sarahglass6841 4 года назад

Wow does this ring so true. I'm a believer of things showing up and coming into ones life when its needed most, this I see is a video lots of people need to hear right now. Including myself. To know and remind ourselves that it's ok to be assertive, in order to take care of ourselves. I just want to say to anyone who see this, you deserve to be assertive of what you need, and you are worthy of it. If someone doesnt respect that, it's not your fault, the person who doesn't respect it, is probably going through there own stuff but you don't need to take that on yourself, when you need to do you first.

@elisabetaeross1454 4 года назад

Me and a friend literally have been talking about all these things for weeks!! All totally agree. When she started talking about Communication and compromising, I got goosebumps because this came up last night about Women not wanting to tell a guy where they wanted to go to eat because they didn’t wanna make the wrong choice and they wanted the guy to magically psychically know what they wanted. To which I responded that’s what the suggestion game is for. If you are going to say no to something you have to suggest an alternative. Because Communication and compromise are key!!

@ismayilvaliyev264 4 года назад

One of the best channels . Thanks

@onecoolcat2478 2 года назад

A good statement to get in the habit of: that person has more reason to be afraid of me - than I am of him or her

@cleopatraselene712 4 года назад

Hi Kati, Thanks for all the tips, they are very useful and I will work on few if them!

@christroock7869 4 года назад

BAM! Just what i needed. Also very constructive topic that i think everyone should take a look at. The last few videos you’ve done Kati have been topics i’ve needed for a while and love seeing them dealt with from your style of teaching. Thank you so much for your dedication in helping others. Over the years you have really helped me and i’m sure most of us on your channel. Keep up the great work!

@bellaandsevy5338 4 года назад

I just was talking to my friend about this! Her parents don’t let her do anything / hang out with me and so I told her to not be aggressive but assertive thank you you always have the perfect videos!

@badreanna 4 года назад

Awe man that's super stressful I had helicopter parents like that who wouldn't let me do anything. Ended up having to sneak out every week to have a life worth living. They would not bend on anything no matter how in control and assertive of my needs I was. Used to script out whole conversations, no use unfortunately. Hopefully their parents are more compassionate!

@bellaandsevy5338 4 года назад

Adrean Smith ah I’m so sorry I hope it’s better now and not really! And she would never sneak out I feel so bad for her, she really can’t even have friends and I’m like her only one

@badreanna 4 года назад

@@bellaandsevy5338 ☹ it's so rough, I developed cptsd because of the chokehold my parents had. I hope your friend learns early in life to meet her own needs. Weirdly enough my sneaking out was afterschool activities and going to church... im not religious but I had religious friends and my parent's had a sunday activity. Unfortunately my parent's picked up on me using afterschool activities to not be at home though. Yeah things are better now that im not living with my parents and I have a supportive spouse and we communicate our feelings alot. Surprisingly I still have a relationship with my parents. I suspect they are just as messed up from their parents as I am from them so I try not to blame them too much.

@adrianaavila8853 4 года назад

Adrean Smith, it’s definitely a circular cycle and gets passed down through the generations. Thanks for sharing.

@supermichaelssecondchannel4342 4 года назад

Thank you for the video Kati.

@cDerb156 4 года назад

Such a nice coincidence you posted this today. I was just talking with my husband about this last night since I’ve been struggling with it lately when dealing with VERY religious relatives and friends.

@abbeyc4865 4 года назад

Kati can u do a video on why we feel a need to impress our therapist?

@stevendurrant1724 4 года назад

Transference

@_just_TK 4 года назад

Unknown Name Kati already has a couple of great videos about this that I’ll link below! ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-peI9oiMbDhY.html ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-tYQtu7k9M3s.html ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-aHaXLHRwh1U.html ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-lx9tlkvmrSw.html

@bellaandsevy5338 4 года назад

She has a few!

@naileaolivas2788 4 года назад

its the only source of safety so we want to secure it but its counterpoductive

@sheaharris8189 4 года назад

omg i felt that

@-qf6gv916 2 года назад

Wow that last sentence just explained everything what i was confused about. I struggle being assertive because its more comfortable to be aggressive, but I cant be aggressive at work. So I just dont talk and then I seem stupid. I came up with some things that im going to practice saying so that I feel comfortable speaking up. “Got it” “confirmed” “previously it was communicated to do xyz, so I was following suit. However, I will stop” “thats not necessary” “Give me a moment. Let me get my pen” “I dont have that answer now, but I will work on it”

@lin_is_a_bird 4 года назад

I was assertive for once with my sister and she told me that I was acting like my mom (which is not good) and then she said "I'm a mother now. It was really hard to stand up for myself and then I felt like a big jerk. That's why I just usually keep my mouth shut and am a people pleaser.

@FatiguedButFabulous 4 года назад

i really needed this today! Thanks, Kati,

@christinawebb4619 4 года назад

Kati this is my first time commenting on a video. I really like to listen to your long videos when I drive long distances on the weekends. I'm going through a breakup right now and it sucks, but your videos don't, so thank you

@_just_TK 4 года назад

Christopher Webb Welcome to the Community! Sorry to hear ur going through a rough break-up. I’ll link Kati’s video on getting over a breakup below which was really helpful for me. Also, Kati’s guested on a TON af different podcasts so check those out! ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-EJq9RCw5ZlE.html

@DrDerpington 4 года назад

Great video Kati. I really appreciate how you go into detail, makes it so much easier to grasp. Speaking up for myself is currently non-existent but im ready to put in the time and effort to change that - Thanks :)

@OperationFoxley19441 4 года назад

Just had training in conflict management today, thanks for this video it really reinforces what needs to be done.

@powerofroses1670 4 года назад

loved this. you are giving me hope through your videos and they encourage me to get through my limits. i am bipolar and I only take two meds. i started to work out recently since the crisis took place and now I sleep less and I overcame by paunch. thanks a lot.

@tulipchic34 4 года назад

This was so helpful. I split from a long term relationship because it was toxic, best thing I ever did

@tracycook5528 4 года назад

Thank You!

@valbear7962 4 года назад

Thank you kati for making this video i used to be the shy girl and keep to myself. And many times i had situations i felt sick of some people walking all over me and getting away with things and since i'm shy it was hard to learn to like speak for myself stand up for myself but now i know when to speak for myself and not really so shy anymore^^ thank you kati for all this advice makes me feel confident to learn to be assertive at times

@juangarcia6473 3 года назад

These tips are helping me evaluate a situation with one of my close friends, and after I try to talk it out with him, if it still doesn’t work out I think it’ll be time for me to let go

@kristinenicolef 3 года назад

Really needed this thank you so much

@Transformational_change Год назад

Thank you for this!✌🏼

@pradwijay3780 4 года назад

Thanks for the great advice as always Kati🙏😊

@Mushroom321- Год назад

This is so helpful!! AWESOME VIDEO!!

@KimsLantern 4 года назад

*Some people always want to fight* Can someone please shout this from every corner of the globe, please??????? Great video, Kati! Thanks for this!!!!

@honeythakur509 4 года назад

Thank you sooo much.. 🙏

@SAM-gy7ep Год назад

Thank You For Sharing ❤️

@deborah2976 3 года назад

Thank you for your videos. They are really helpful and I appreciate it so much

@ashleyf7555 4 года назад

Kati you rock thank u for the awesome video. have a wonderful day😀

@ChameleonGalaxy 4 года назад

Recently a friend tried to be assertive but it was texting and I read it like she was mad and yelling at me so I triggered and became agressive. But turns out she was calm so we got on a voice call and it was fine. But text is the worst. don't be assertive on text!

@SarafinaSummers Год назад

Tone tags work over text too. /gentle

@elenasandalova4150 3 года назад

thank you ! your amazing

@empathyisonlyhuman7816 4 года назад

I'd like to add something here about self talk. I used to be a negative nelly as I've heard it phrased. And it was really hard for me to exercise that particular demon. In fact the very first time I tried saying to myself with my inner voice that I liked me, I literally guffawed. I had to look around quickly to make sure no one saw me do it too. But I'm glad I had that strong of a reaction honestly speaking because it showed me that this was an important element for me to focus on. I'm not sure how long it lasted but from then on I'd find myself holding internal arguments about not speaking to myself that way. "I'll speak any way I want darn you!...I am you so hush!...So what I'll still have my say!" And it would go on and on like that. But the more I worked on it the weaker that negative nelly voice became. And today, I can't honestly tell you the last time it had the courage to speak up. I'm hoping it's gone for good.

@loudiehl2021 3 года назад

Just watched this for the third time. I am the youngest of twelve.... thank you for helping me develop the tools to keep me in with my family. You are the best!

@khakicampbell6640 2 года назад

Thanks Kati! I so appreciate what you do. 🙏💜 Subscribed!

@dreamsnatcher719 4 года назад

Thank u for this video!!

@Mushroom321- Год назад

Yep!!, some people don't know how to talk calmly... We are only responsible to clean our side of the road , ", our actions..

@mara1275 2 года назад

THANK YOU SO MUCH 💓 😁🙏

@roqeebahrufai2919 3 года назад

Thank you. Found this helpful

@lydiafindlay9851 4 года назад

Hey Kati! I absolutely love your videos and have just made my way through a whole bunch that impact me. I was diagnosed with panic disorder not too long ago and have recently been developing constant deja vu. It happens so often in a day it’s quite scary and really controls my day to day life sometimes - could you maybe do a video on deja vu and how or if it links to mental health in anyway? 🥰