Claire, good day to you. I find this same thing happens to me with woman. They won't do anything other than text. Won't meet in person. Don't have any time to meet you in person. I, for the most part, don't trust this online dating experience as there are a lot of fakes out there just trying to get some attention but no commitment to a relationship whatsoever. It really looks like in person is the only way to meet someone guinine these days. Either that or the women are just playing with me for an evening because they already have a boyfriend. Gary
I'd be very, very careful with the voice message thing. In my experience, voice messages are pretty divisive as is -- some people love them, some people hate them. I'm in the hate camp. Not only does it take extra effort to read them, they're also annoying as heck when you're with other people. But being with other people doesn't make him a player, it simply confirms he has a life. I personally do not have headphones on me and so I can only open voice messages in the comfort of my home -- anywhere else, the whole world would hear them and be distracted etc. and that's never happening (also out of respect for the sender's privacy, naturally, among all the other reasons). Other than that, I could be wrong with this impression, but you do make the impression on me that you've had to deal with a lot of players, as though magically attracting them when it's really only a small minority of men who do this (or even are in a position to do it, as a matter of fact). Have you tried getting off dating apps and/or picking guys that look more average and likely aren't attractive to a thousand other girls in town?
For me this would be a massive green flag, if he was paying in cash. Have people really no awareness just how awful it would be if cash were to eventually be discontinued? Think it through,girl! Its not a pretty scenario, on so many levels. And the only way to prevent it from happening is to keep paying with cash, and to shun businesses who have removed the option of cash pay.
Hey! Kind of a player here (to some degree) and I disagree with your definition of player. It can be a single guy with no obligations to any other woman. Players just enjoy seduction in general and usually don't plan to settle down. And while most people have 'compatibility check' approach in dating, for players each case is a challange. He might not care abt you that much, but he will still try to sleep with you bc why not. That's just a test of skill each time, a fun puzzle to solve. So, there is a much easier way to spot a player on dating app: just reply him in a way a lot of women usually do (1-2 words reply). If after few messages he stops replying or unmatches you - he was a normie guy. If he still tries to carry the convo - he's probably a player, being curious if he can win even without having any compliance at the start. Cheers and have a nice day ✌
I literally go to karaoke every single day of the week, and even when I'm not busy, I don't make text messages, social media, or dating apps a priority; I have always been single, and I'm 39.
Sometimes people genuinely are busy and need advance notice to make plans. I’m in that position right now. However, I agree that you should trust your gut about a situation, and move on if something feels off.
I agree with you. A lot of men rationalize their online activity. Like, "I didn't even meet up with her and nothing happened." You have to be really careful of these ethical discrepancies.
I wish every single lady would watch this and take it to heart! I'm married but so many of my female friends (seriously from ages 21-65) are always wasting their time on men who meet your definition of a "dusty"!!
Some really good points but think you're a bit off the mark on a few that could see you weeding out the wrong people. (Single guy perspective) 1) Showers. You met a guy with good hygiene. A lot of us can be pretty gross. Showering is most likely a green flag. 2) Evenings. Sounds like you think all single guys are just sat around twiddling their thumbs in the evening? Couldn't be further from the truth, we keep our lives full; social events, exercise, see family & friends, do life admin & housework etc. Increasingly people aren't working 9-5 and may be getting ahead with work in the evening having taken free time earlier in the day. On the odd evening that's free there's a good chance I'll just take some quiet self-care time and go for a walk, watch a movie or read a book... away from my phone. The funny thing is, these busy guys who have stuff going on are the ones you'd actually want to date, not the ones who are sat around swiping and watching porn every evening. 3) A lot of us guys are allergic to voice notes and can be put in a state of existential dread. Probably best not to voice note a guy without consent.
I understand there is a desire to be wise in choosing but your sole focus of selection are shallow things like timekeeping which can have legit reasons. If you think Showering is a sign...that's borderlining paranoia. That's just not good enough. You need to learn to select ppl based on the character and you need to learn what makes a good male character from zero. Don't get me wrong this is awesome content to get clout from girlie's and good luck with your channel but if you actually want to not just date but get a life partner suggest you close this book and start a fresh one. All you do now is keep more women single by making them paranoid. But hey if it sells it sells. Men too have standards and depending on how you have presented yourself you're either a keeper (marry her), sleeper(fun and bare minimum it takes to keep you in rota) or sweeper(too embarrassed to be seen with you) . You end up in one of these boxes and when you're there you're there for life. Might worth checking out where you get put, leave if your not in keepers and try find out why did you end up in there so you don't end up there again next time. Best of luck to you and your channel!
A lot of what you're looking to avoid by these precautions is a man that has a roster, which I find really funny, because not many men have the ability to have a roster of any length. Usually 0 for the majority of men. 1 woman for some, and 2 for the lucky. 3 or more and he's either very good looking or has money. So if you think he is really good looking, or has money, or both, then ask the questions. Are you a monogamous type guy? Do you date with intention to get into a relationship? Put him in a position where he will have to lie. Any man that you scare away with those questions asked in a tactful manner, is exactly the man you don't want to be in a relationship with. Any man who is attracted to you and open to a relationship will see this as a compliment, and might not jump at having babies tomorrow, but neither will he be scared. Show your interest in him girls, and wear your intent with humility and femininity, but firmness. Asking for what you want doesn't make you a pick me, that term is ridiculous anyway. Who doesn't want someone to pick them? In the right context we are all pick mes.
Just got this washed into my suggestions, got a few comments. ^^ Most of the points I can agree with: no replies in the evening is weird, not wanting to meet on weekends is weird, and not wanting to meet at all is of course just a waste of time. BUT some other points I take exception to, and I think you're making a mistake taking these as red flags: - shower after sex? Well of course, every time! Who on earth would leave the house after sex without showering?? - paying with cash? I do that all the time, as much as possible. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be a glass customer. As for voice messages, well as others have said, they are generally controversial and many people hate them. But ofc I'd be more lenient with them if they come from a girl I'm interested in. ^^
I work every weekend because I earn more for working antisocial hours, so I can't date on Saturdays, but not because I have a girlfriend. Lol. Of course, this does mean I can only date Monday through Friday, and it means I have time to devote to my other activities, like writing my novels, creating RU-vid videos, and managing my rental properties.
I sometimes pay in cash, but it's just because I have a mild aversion to credit cards. Cash makes more sense to my brain. I'm a 25 year old male, but my parents are boomers
