You are my hero. If it weren't for your YT channel, I would still be lost thinking I'm broken, not good enough, etc. I keep catching my spouse in lies and my reactionary response in the past would have me blow up at him in anger. I always find your new videos just when I need them most. You truly are a life saver.
Thank you for your wonderful helpful videos. I have listened to you for years now but I keep finding narcissists I have had 3 now and I want to get away from the last one he won’t stop emailing or coming over unexpectedly does things that I need done to get his foot back in I get angry and he says oh look at you your anger gets the best of you he doesn’t respect me. Can I get a session with you I feel very bad about my situation
Your situation reminds me of my experiences. What helped me was finding my voice and defining strong boundaries. Self love and self discipline to not tolerate unacceptable behavior.
I recently listened to a lot of Dr. Joe Dispenza. At first I was intrigued, but then, things started to bother me. I noticed that he criticized, even mocked people, for having "negative" emotions. So, Lisa, hearing your views on emotions is a breath of fresh air and is quite liberating. Thank you!
This is what I do...get angry that I'm angry. Didn't realize it until now. I'm so afraid of negative emotions that I went on Prozac because I got so angry in my late 20s. I realize now it was because I was in a verbally abusive marriage...and it was healthy to be angry!! I'll let myself feel regret on this but will get through. Thanks Lisa.
You set me free. You will always have a special place in my heart as that teacher. I do very much appreciate you and your work. Thank you for setting aside energy for us ... you are a gift to the world. 💗✨
Dear Lisa: I, finally, love and validate all emotions that I feel because I had to learn that they are indicators. I was also raised with this idea that feeling angry is not right, so, to me is a breakthrough to process all of those feelings, to sit on my own space and to decide what I´m going to do about it. I feel awesome feeling what I feel and to detach from our emotions (I´m remembering the Kamboja juice, one of your last videos). Thank you to teach us more a bit every day. Your sister of Love and light.
Is my ex friend a narcissist?The narcissistic friend not my friend anymore said he want to be my roommate and think I'm his best friend. But he never pay me back. The narcissistic guy who gets mad easily and doesn't have a job and live on disability welfare and he can't control he anger and wants attention and he called every single guys ugly only find himself attractive and he think he the smartest student in school and he always skip school and he doesn't go to college or have a job he living with he parents sitting at home on disability welfare and he have angered management to deal with he also make fun of the shy guy because his Asian and he always judge people about how ugly the guy can get a girlfriend and he think he dress the best . Also he said he got sponsor in a sport to pay he fee and he said he was going to travel to Germany for a sport to live there for a year and he lied he doesn't show me the plane ticket and he said that Germany got a wildfire as a excuse everyone search online there was no wildfire. And last thing he did was he stole my friends money and other friend witness it and the narcissistic friend make an excuse saying he have mental disability see things that is not real as an excuse so he can get away with the money. I doubt that he will pay the rent. He also hit his girlfriend and verbally abuse me and my friends.
It was difficult to grow up in a household in which it wasn't "ladylike" to be angry. Guess what I did? Yup, buried all of those emotions under a rock. It didn't end well. So now I'm going through therapy and watching these super helpful videos as well. Self improvement and healing isn't a straight path, let me tell you.
Lisa, thank you. .. I will be at work when this appears. .. I am NC from narc now 7 months. .. I am still hyper-reactive ... my behavior /outburst /anger / over sensitivity - I cut my own throat, texting my patient's case manager in heat of moment of being yelled at over communication difference with patient (whom I care for deeply ), I know physically I am overburdened with all my jobs (4), but I need them to keep my new apartment, It took 5 months of sofa surfing /saving just to get an apartment. .. I need to seriously have a mini vacation to reset, but it's a double edge sword. .. if I don't work, I will be homeless again, if I don't get some self care I won't be able to work ... (history : 3 major relationships 2- very abusive, last was a sociopathic narcissist ((7 years)) after 13 1/2 years of just me and my kids... I so want to rid myself of the absorbed toxicity, and be productive and happy and a blessing to those around me once more...
Thanks you Lisa your videos and books really help me to know I am not alone and that I can overcome these obstacles in my life. I know this will take time, time and I are not friends but I can become friends with time. Thanks for helping me to be a better person and mother, I see I didn't allow my break up with my narc husband thought to process and now I know I can and it will pass. ✌🏾
Love you as I always do 😍 the calm, slow, soft spoken way you had is video was very soothing and my brain accepted and absorbed the information, if that makes sense ?
This is so wonderful. You are so articulate. I feel like your words are align with exactly how I feel and what I do. Why is it that we do that? why do we tell ourselves not to feel what we feel. Why do we feel we as if we dont have a right to feel what we feel? As if, we are shameful for feeling it? This is especially true when someone makes us feel angry, especially someone we love and respect, we feel like we can't feel that anger towards them. So in turn, we suppress how we feel in order to make them feel good, in order to make the situation better. A voice tells us we are second. Peace is priority, even at our own sacrifice. This makes us have deeper but suppressed anger, eventually depression sets in and we hate our life, ourselves for being so weak, poweless, and helpless. Sorry too long a comment.
Glad to see you expanding into other areas people need help with. You are very talented in your presentations and examples. Thanks for all you give of yourself. 👍
Wish I wasn't so angry all the time but I just can't wonder what I might have been if my parents did ANYTHING to move my life forward instead of pushing me down constantly. My a-ha moment was the time a stranger said, "I am so happy you solved this problem but you are a flat out genius. You should be trying to solve cancer or something else in-line with your skills." The woman who said this was a top consultant from an international firm and moonlighted as a professor for UCLA. She just floored me with that comment.
You have hit the nail on the head as usual, Lisa. I am old and my body/mind is past fixing now in terms of health. But ... I know the body/mind is phenomenal, my true Self is eternal consciousness and unstained. Helpful to focus on. And I now avoid suppressing emotions as much as I can. Namaste 🕉
I am super struggling with this, thank you for this video. My body is so broken and all the doctor can say is it must be caused by stress, but your videos are actually helping me to integrate what the root cause is. I can't express my gratitude. Also, thanks to everyone else posting comments, I find them so inspiring and wish peace for all of you.
Yup! I've been repressing/stuffing my anger since childhood, growing up with narc mother primary care giver and bottle of Pepto bismal was my upbringing. No wonder I was diagnosed with IBS/IBD simultaneously in adulthood. Constant stress / tummy distress Lifting weights, going for a walk and dancing helped me shift and clear anger. It helps me release to peace 💗
Hi dear Lisa, im so thankfull what if learned from you over the last 3 years, im realy in tuned whit the self, i can be angry whit out being scared anymore, as a child everytime when i felt a emotion it was inderpressed by both my parents , so my programming was tha teverytime when i felt someting my brain said no you are rong you don''t have the right to feel this or that, never saw the conection between childhoud wounds and emotions, yesterday i wss mad at a friend of mine ,whitout projection i said, i am mad at you and i don't find it fair from you what you said to me, and what was so wonderfull about it i was so intuned whit the self! learning everyday dear Lisa! xoxo
Hi dear Lisa🙋,today has been a day with ANGER against all narcissist who has abused me and destroyed my life.. Reason for my anger today is FRUSTRATION because of all those narcs who has destroyed and ruined my life , trigger today was a male narcissist and colleguae who steal my place and a customer right in front of my face that..sh...t..😕 I retreat to library and calm down, because when I am.angry and frustrated I cannot work.. So here I am in a BAD blue monday blues without money,food and home..,but it will be alright about one week 👍. Then I shall pay for a room for 3-4 weeks ,I am so tired and frustrated over all thing I have lost.. So I hope soon I can let go and move forward....❤🙏❤
Oh darling, narc's are the WORST SCUM of the Earth!!!! They drain u of all light within. I'm sending you love and a prayer - I understand the crazy making. My parents are covert narc's. Ruin/ed/ing my life! *hugs* to u from me, a narc' survivor!! 😘
Really like this video, having realized that anger is not the issue, but rather what I do with it. Which then results in understanding that I truly need to control myself. Lately I have come to the conclusion that a lot of times I'm angry because I have been tricked, and manipulated through false pretenses, which at it's very root has robed me of a freewill choice.
Brilliant and simply stated. Flowing with hope, indicators of feelings and full of applications to totally help me stay grounded. Incredible video definitely ten star ⭐️ thankful we are all stars. Listen listen pay close attention Lisa has something to say!👍🙏 thank you Lisa
wow. i have been fighting for this for years. finally to hear an articulation of what i have been objecting to and trying to communicate, that my goal isn't to NOT be angry or NOT be affected by so and so. That that NEVER made since to me but counselors and pastors etc wouldn't move beyond that or offer my ANYTHING else. I have kept asking and asking. Perhaps I will use your articulation and try again to ask for help in learning how to process these feelings that exist. That i agree it isn't about the other person, so help ME focus on ME and MY feelings and what they are trying to accomplish... I could weep at the gift that hearing this today was. Gonna listen again with pen and paper in hand. thank you.
This is some powerful stuff right here.... Life changing. God, I wish you were my mother, Lisa!!!!!! Ur now my Mommy mentor, darl, cos my Mom has zero emotional intelligence!! And I need someone to look at and think, that's the kind of mum I'd like. Really respect you and the information in this video. Will watch it over and over to fully absorb everything within it 🙏 Thanks so much for posting 🤗
Makes a lot of sense and VERY useful. I can allow myself to feel the anger and I don't have to react but rather I can use this moment to make a better choice. Thanks for this video!
Left my current narc 2 days ago. Mother was initial narc. Had severe debilitating stomach issues. I let the anger out and no more nausea. He’s blaming my illness but I know it’s not! How cool? I’m not doubting myself. He wronged me over and over. He’s threatening suicide. Help m keep on this path. Don’t want to be a doormat w a bank account anymore
Really needed this tonight, thank you as always. You are a huge part of my Healing and awareness Journey. So needed also, please keep sharing your wisdom. Thank you Lisa xxx
@Fenicja Fenato ... This may be something you have to learn to live with and make allowances for, either short or long term. I'm speaking only from my own experience, don't know if Lisa would agree (not making assumptions). But, could be like a physical injury eg after an accident that will never be totally fixed (common scenario after all, noone has all good luck) ..... At least you will know WHY and that it's NOT YOUR FAULT. Noone gets through life unscathed and what unbearable people we could be if we did. My Guru says we come to this life to taste the bitter and the sweet. Grace comes into your life in different ways. Look at all the cr*p Lisa went through and as a result ßhe has been able to help so many through her learning experiences. Hope I don't sound Marianne ish. Truly reaching out in sympathy. ❤ Been there, still there sometimes, but I don't regret anything (except on a really bad day, and we all have those don't we). Also .... there is still a lot of time for gradual improvement and unexpected gifts in your life. You might be surprised if you really knew how far you've already come, in fact. Namaste.
@@moirasmith Hi, thank you for the answer. Very kind of you. Sometimes is hard but sunshine will come through! Take care and all the best to you and all!
This was so good 🙌🏻 This made me realize how often I deny what I'm feeling & try to deny others feelings as well. Thank you for your help as always Lisa!
Lost my temper today needed this daughter of a narccist felt like I had no voice now that Im older and married I tend to blurred out things in anger when I feel abandoned if its true or not its very difficult to control
Lisa, I don't mean to be rude but your background makes me depressed. I always use to enjoy your background It matches your personality and I look forward to that. You always give me a different perspective on life when I see your life in your videos. Look forward to your next video.
This is awesome! Perfect timing! I was feeling sad today for a good reason and trying to hold it back. This explanation was perfect and I need to let learn to let it flow! 💞💞💞
I have health issues that caused me to have to go on disability 5 years ago. I have had a social worker who has been my rock and has fought tooth and nail to help me turn over stones to lead me to a better quality of life. Im so much better today because of her fighting for me and I just received a letter that she resigned yesterday. I brought her in my personal life and trust her. Due fyi my childhood programming, I have a hard time with loss once I bring someone into my circle of trust. Thanks for asking!
@@baxter6556 Oh ok I fully understand now, life is full of ups and downs and I've discovered that somethings we'll never fully understand but we must keep strong in faith. I appreciate your honesty, you have a soothing calm presence about you. These RU-vid videos are very helpful to those seeking guidance and positive feedback.
Teachers at my primary school used that patronising method of dismissing a child's feelings when they were unhappy at school. This isn't healthy because adults who do this are causing long term emotional damage to the child; because they are not allowing the child to process their feelings and are showing a lack of understanding to the child. You could say this amounts to emotional abuse of the child because; the child's feelings are not being acknowledged they are just being allowed to fester in a negative way.
The good emotions and the bad emotions. There are acceptable emotions and not acceptable emotions. They want to fast talk you out of feeling sad or grief or anger. Nothing wrong with those feelings but, society would want you to believe there is. Soceity doesn't have the tools to deal with them either so it's easier to try to shut people down.
At a meeting at someone's home over the weekend, I thanked the hostess for her hospitality. She then made a very loud comment that she had put her cat away in the other room because of MY allergies. The cat meowed the whole time. Thankfully 2 other people came to my rescue and said they had allergies too. One lady told me not to feel bad as she had brought her inhaler just in case. I just thought it was so rude of the hostess to target me like that. I felt like I should have stayed home. So I was so angry the next day, I almost emailed her and told her my feelings but I resisted. I'm glad I didn't react on my anger. I'm wondering what other people might have done/said?
As I listen to you I find myself questioning your take on this because I was raised with anger being one of the seven capital sins and I wonder if there is a happy medium between the teaching to avoid at all costs those sins and allowing yourself to experience them in a healthy way to process them without putting a lid on them and exploding with anger directed towards someone. the problem that I have found with Many religious teachings is the Stark black-and-white stand either it's good or it's bad. People are much too complex to describe their emotions in such stark ways. What you suggest here is to acknowledge and accept the emotion but these emotions though natural should be processed in an emotionally mature way but to do that you first have to acknowledge and accept that it is not a bad thing to experience them. It is only wrong to ignore they exist and allow them to fester into a blow out. This really has been helpful thank you
The Holy Bible says Anger ye but sin not .....so it is basically what she is saying. We get angry but we have to watch how we respond. Just like we can put our children in timeout instead of a spanking.
okay the "anger is guidance and represents alignment or being out of alignment to something that is taking place in our reality." is this not labeling an emotion as negative? or would we apply this same thing to say happiness and say it represents being in alignment? which i still would question that any emotion dictates being out or in alignment if one is simply aware of said emotion, wouldn't that be being in alignment?
The other woman did not cheat with your boyfriend !! Your boyfriend cheated on you - blame him. It's exactly like a man who get angry at another man for sleeping with his wife .... misplaced anger ..... the wife is the problem !!
QUESTION: Do narcissists tend to scar or mutilate their own bodies such as multiple tatoos or multiple peircings. I've seen many horrifying picures of people that get peicings and tatoos that just look scary.
Why can't you just say to yourself "I am angry" to acknowledge you are angry then say you will not be easily offended or intimidated & say its water off the duck's back & let it go? If you do not react or respond the energy will be bottled up & chemical reaction in the body can cause ulcer, stress or bitterness?
I wanna do stuff on my own way alone , they are one fellowing me , Yesterday I close myself with Buddha people they were not happy , what did They want from me ? This is just a way of control my life . But I don't accept it .
I get the process but how do you stop your daughter from taking your car without your permission -- as an example. I get all the inner processing at end of the day your daughter took your car without your permission so how does that apply in reality in factual reality . You can say I am not happy with you taking my car without my permission...what if she keeps taking your car without your permission what do you do then ?
I've been feeling so much repressed anger/confusion/sadness from acknowledging the emotional neglect/abuse I had from both types of narcissistic parents lately, (which your other videos have helped me through as well) this vid has helped me see things clearer! Thank you Lisa! I used to be afraid of my anger because I felt it was uncontrollable and it only added to the list of things I felt guilty about but as I learn to validate my feelings it's easier to choose and let go.
