How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others (for good this time) 

There are times a beginner feels like they're getting worse the more they do. It's not that their skill is going down, it's that their eye for what they're doing is getting better. There are 4 stages of competency. The first one is unconscious incompetence where a person doesn't even know what they don't know. The second is conscious incompetence where they are aware of all the things they don't know. The third is conscious competence where they understand what to do but have to work really hard at it. The fourth is unconscious competence where they can do something without even having to think about it. I feel like conscious incompetence is the hardest, because I know what I'm doing wrong and I know what I want to do, but can't. Getting through this stage is rough but extremely rewarding.

In 2019, at Costume College, I approached you and showed you the dress I was wearing; the first dress I had ever made. You told me you were impressed, that I had done a good job and you were proud of me. Then you gave me a big hug. I was so happy and it is still a powerful memory for me, that you were so genuinely proud and happy for me. Thank you for all that you do.

Well I have no interest in fashion but could listen to you talk all day! Fantastic advice and super interesting, thank you so much!

Your videos are the closet equivalent of a hug

I'm a singing teacher. Singing is so personal an action - our voice is very often connected with our sense of self, as you know - that the first about six months with most students are mostly focused on getting them over the years and years of "don't quite your day job" or even "shut up" that we've all been told before we begin lessons. My students do regularly confide in me that they think they'll never be good enough. They assume they are bad singers, and will always be bad singers, and that I simply rolled out of bed sounding the way I do one day. I tell them that when I was a kid in primary school, there was a girl in the schoolyard who wouldn't leave me alone, as nine-year-olds are wont to do, and the only way I could get her to stop bothering me was to sing, because when I did she would literally stick her fingers in her ears and run away screaming to drown me out. I then left that school, and shortly thereafter began taking voice lessons. Three years into those lessons (we must have been only thirteen or so), I met that girl again, and for a lark I began to sing, just to myself. She immediately plugged her fingers in her ears as she had done at school... and then slowly, bit by bit, pulled them out again, her scrunched up face relaxing as she heard me. That was one of my biggest personal triumphs in my singing journey, and to this day is one of my favourite singing memories. I was PROUD. Thank you for sharing your story. It's real, honest, and transcends all different forms of art and creativity.

I stopped painting a few years ago because I didn't believe I was a good enough painter. I wish I could go back and hug that version of me and tell her she didn't have to be "a good enough painter" to be allowed to paint.

Lately, I have been having the reverse. I see projects I finished years ago and I wonder: How on earth did I have the energy, motivation, etc to do this..... when today I struggle to even finish the simplest things like doing the dishes, taking a shower, combing my hair.... The struggle has been very real. And I recently got yet another big “setback” bringing me down. Sending love to everyone who is also struggling. ♥️

As a person who loves historical sewing that can hardly mend stockings, I feel encouraged to start making things myself after this.

I bought an old hand cranked singer when I was about 14 or 15, and started to make my own clothes because I couldn't find anything I wanted to wear ready made. I happily made my own clothes for years. I could only afford polyester cotton, but I couldn't care less. An electric sewing machine was one of the first items I bought for myself, and it is true, I got better. But somewhere along the way I started to believe I am not good enough, because I never formally learned, and I stopped. Now I only sew stuff for my home. Your channel inspire me to start making my own clothes again. The good news is I do have a lot more patience now , and I can afford better fabric! I think I shall start off with a beautiful night gown, and a few old fashioned aprons ...

I write novels. Every year, I write better ones, or at least different ones. Don't ask me what I sell, because I don't sell. Yet, not selling means that I'm free to push my boundaries, to produce what pleases me. Ten years ago, I could never have envisioned the novels that I've now produced. Its the same for every creative and technical skill. Time + Practice = Awesome.

I'm in tears. This is the kind of content that young/beginning artists need. The retrospective is so valuable and important.

I treat you like a catholic saint, and think to myself when I’m in a jam “what would Cathy do?”

my first ever dress has no seam allowance but an invisible zip I was so proud of. I attached a white shirt collar so it looked like a Wednesday Adams dress. now I'm going to school to become a bespoke tailor I see the flaws in that first dress but also that I learned from it and now I am not afraid of zips. (I removed that shirtcollar from the dress because it got really dirty and being washed with the black dress messed up the colour.)

This does also apply to life in general. Due to mental illness my self-esteem is rather low. I judge myself more harshly than I would do with the people around me, and, of course, I compare myself to others and feel inferior to them. But by now, I have learned to take a step back and ask myself: "What would 13yo you think if they saw you now?" And honestly? She would be pretty damn impressed.

I'm a medical student and this was relevant to me. I get so worried and compare myself to my peers and to people well ahead of me in this career. This was such a good reminder. Thank you so much.

Miss Cathy I was completely unprepared for the feels trip you just took us on. Thank you for your constant love and support that you give all of us via the internet. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I am currently making my first “thing.” I am trying to take a lot of time and care, and found myself getting stuck in that rut of not finishing something. One of Cathy’s recent videos “how to finish what you start every time” mentioned that sometimes, you just need the right tool to help you. She was totally right. God aligned things perfectly and I was able to buy an antique singer machine from 1890, my first machine. The thing I am making now is almost done. It probably won’t even fit, but it will be done, and I can be proud of it. Happy making 💜

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you. I am now 30 and I gave up 10 years ago because I didn’t believe I was good enough. 10 years later I’m just now realizing that it takes practice and patience. At 30 I’ve just started to live.

There is one thing worst that comparing yourself to others, there is allowing someone else compare your work with others that are not on your skill level.

I haven't had a chance to make clothing for myself, but I make clothes for my ball jointed dolls. Part of the reason I subacribe to your channel and others like it is because I want to be able to learn how to sew historical garments myself, for myself and my dolls. In the time I've begun sewing their teeny, tiny clothes, I've learned it's better and easier for me to sew by hand, and how to draft my own and modify existing patterns to make what I need. Just a month or so ago, I decided to tackle my biggest project yet - sewing two entire wardrobes of dress shirts, pants, sweaters, and fully-lined victorian suit coats for some of the smallest range of dolls, the 1/6 size dolls. These are dolls that are only about the height of a barbie doll, but with the porportions of toddlers, so they're the size of children for the largest dolls, and lemme tell you, it has been SO HARD, but SO MUCH FUN! And just a few years ago, I never thought I would have the ability or knowledge to be able to do this! It's amazing, the steps you see yourself making when you just go out and do the thing! Also, maybe I'm just emotional because of my shark week is coming up, but THIS VIDEO MADE ME HAPPY-WEEPY! 😭

Well spoken, Cathy. Besides sewing, I spend equal or more time as a spinner. People will say things like “Oh, you’re so talented!” I reply that it’s more an affinity to the craft than any special talent, but more importantly, it’s doing this work for 40 years spinning thousands of km of yarn that makes the difference. Showing up every day... Every. Damned. Day.

Every iconic dress historian had to get her start somewhere!! 💖

I get so intimidated by sewing even though I want to make historical gowns so badly (and have made a few in the past), because I see these gorgeous costumers online and feel like I shouldn't even try because I'll never be as good as them, so this video hit home for me. Cathy, you're a magnificent human being. Thank you for your peptalk. I needed it badly.

I got your email about this video and seeing it personalized with my name, and having been struggling with this exact issue since the pandemic started, I burst into tears. Thanks you Cathy, this means the world to me

This is exactly what I needed to hear today! I'm learning to love how humans are constantly changing. We are not static beings and every thing we do can bring us closer to the goals we have, no matter how small the steps are.

I’m really struggling lately. Hearing your voice getting stronger with each vid.... it is motivating.

I must share with how much I needed to watch this today. I've want to start sewing for years but my fear of failure stopped me. I'm getting married next year and I'm wanting to sew the shift underneath. I honestly feel more confident now to start the project. Thank you.

“A plant grows slowly, a set of skills grow slowly. Sometimes you got to look at the time laps version to see a progression, to see how things are changing. Because your skills grow so slowly that you can’t see it happening in real time.” That my friend, is beautifully said❤️

Beautifully said. I often encounter “beginning sewers” that say, Oh I can’t, I’m not creative enough, It will never look like that. I try and gently remind them that’s it’s just a matter of practice & patience. Take one stitch, then another and your journey begins. Often they will compare themselves to another, which in my personal opinion, is very healthy to the learning experience but instead of viewing as “you can’t “ view it as “ I can try” . As you said each of us are own our own journey and that is not always smooth sailing. There are times I cuss like a sailor, there I times I feel that I can’t....then I remind myself. Start with one stitch, then another. If your reading this, and your new to sewing or struggling...It’s ok that it’s not perfect or as good as another’s. It’s uniquely you, a one of a kind, and you too will grow from it. One day....we will learn from you 💝💝

I get this with art. I love how you talk about the journey. But I always say to people who say, "I wish I could draw like you," "are you willing to put in the time?" Usually they say "no." When I teach art, I say "professional is 10,000 hours." This is about 3 hours a day for 10 years, or almost five years at full time. I always post my first drawing at 12 with my current drawings and say "60,000 hours," which is what I have done. The same thing with sewing. You yourself have probably put in about 50,000 hours in sewing, at least. I had a brilliant art teacher who could teach anyone to draw. And he always said rather loudly "THERE IS NO TALENT, ONLY WORK!" The only skills you need are persistence, patience and practice. As usual, Cathy, very inspiring!!

Saw this quote yesterday: "Give yourself time to grow"

Most of my sewing is in stuffed animals, and I adore looking back at the ones I was stitching a decade ago to the ones I do today to remind myself about where my skills have improved. Where I've learned things that younger me didn't really think was all that important....(it's going to be a rounded shape, is ironing the pieces before cutting really going to make all that much of a difference...yeah, it does) and I've learned how to make my sewing space work better to accomodate those skills. But when I was 20 and was making extra spending cash by helping girls in my dorm with minor alterations I never thought that by the time I was 35 I'd be tearing down a wall in my house to double the size of my sewing room, because my stuffed animal business had grown to the point where it wasn't just feasible, it was necessary. Now I'm 40, and I'm thinking about finally getting back to figuring out the layers and processes I want to use to build an outfit that my ancestors would be proud of, an outfit I've been collecting materials for for about a decade at this point. :)

An important reminder for us all whether it be a hobby or a career

Cathy! you inspired me to make a frog plush friend!! thank you so much.

Thank you. I'm going to show this to my son after school today. He constantly puts himself down when someone else is better than he is. He never sees how far he comes on.

My son was despairing tonight (and trying to delay bedtime) that he didn’t have a Thing he was good at like everyone else. I told him the only reason I’m good at the thing he mentioned was that I had failed at it over and over again and kept trying. And then I watch this video. And you know what? Both ideas are spot on. We learn slowly, with every thing we make. And each one makes us better. Thank you, Cathy, for the reminder.

I love this! And, if I may add, learn to forgive yourself for not being as far along the path as others are. We'll all get there eventually. Enjoying the journey rather than speeding to the destination...that's where you'll find the happiness.

Not sewing, because I haven't had the time this semester with classes, but definitely the motivation to get out and run today!

I’ve felt discouraged by other’s words. Back when I was a newbie costumer in the 90’s, I considered attending a CostumeCon but I was dissuaded after hearing previous attendees stories of expensive workshop fees and the presumption that everyone would have multiple gorgeous costumes each day. It seemed like I wouldn’t reap much benefit from the experience, so I didn’t go. Decades later, though I vaguely regret not taking the opportunity, I’ve learned so much and continue to master new skills and technologies. I felt small for a bit but ultimately it lit a fire in my belly that led to gaining a fashion design certificate and starting my own studio.

Your entire hem was embroidered with french knots? Ok, now you are definitely my hero :D After many years of sewing and embroidering, I still look fondly at my first works. Even though the technical skills were not really there, the idea of the project often was what I loved about each project. I still have one project here that is absolutely not a great piece in terms of technique, but it is exactly how I imagined it in my head. It is such a precious thing to be able to pull something out of thin air and make it a reality no matter the skill level.

I am so happy to not compare much. Being 62 is a gift.

I no longer have the first dress I made, but I do have the second. I made it with a reprinted 1963 vintage Butterick pattern and bright green quilting cotton with white polka dots. I was 16, and it was my favorite thing I'd ever worn. I got so many compliments on it whenever I wore it out. Now, when I look at the stitching, I see a million flaws. The gathers on the skirt are uneven, and I never bothered to finish the seams. I don't think it even has pockets! But wearing it made me so happy, and I've made plenty of technically better garments since then that didn't bring me nearly so much joy.

The more I research the more I feel like historical dress making is like pole dancing. There are people who are better than me, and somehow I learned to be inspired instead of intimidated by the talent these people have. When I see someone performes advanced level tricks I tell myself "I can do that" and I try it, fail, and laugh at myself and set a goal for myself. When I see someone make a beautiful historical garment I tell myself "I can do that" and I try to recreate it, fail, and learn so many new thing's and set a goal for myself.

I've struggled with myself for years, getting caught and allowing myself to become trapped by refusing to continue just because I don't see improvement. That time lapse speech, and looking back at where I was and what I've accomplished, was exactly the gentle encouragement I needed. I 💜 you for this. Thank you.

I had some eight years old kids in the school where I was helping out in that told me that they wished they could write by hand as nice as me but I told them that I wrote as bad as them when I was eight but I have never given up and just kept writing and that is why I can do what I can today. The more you practice, the better you will become.

"Your skills are not set in stone!' Wonderful words. I love that skills are a journey.

This is so true and important to remember when we're down on ourselves! I'd also add that being good at something isn't in itself that valuable-it doesn't make you a better person, it doesn't necessarily make you happier, it doesn't even mean people will like you. It's also important to ask why you're doing the thing in the first place-if it's for the love of it, then you'll enjoy it whether you're bad or good. If it's to make the world a better place, you can find ways to do that without being the best. If it's to make other people like you... well, they may admire you, but friendship and love are not built on admiration alone. I spent so long trying to be the best at everything, and it made me miserable. For me, letting go of being good at stuff and focusing instead on why I want to do the thing has brought joy back into my life. You don't have to be perfect to be happy!!!

You have such kind eyes. Every time you smile at the camera I feel like you are smiling directly at me and I know I'm in a safe place. Thank you for all that you do

Thank you. I freely admit that I felt overwhelmed by all the beautiful entries in the contest in comparison to mine. It only compounded the dither I'd been in on which category to choose. Yes, I've sewn for ages. Yes, I've used my sewing to supplement my income. At the same time, I've only been doing historical sewing for about 10 years, and in the end after blending those considerations, made a category choice. I still doubted myself. So, I took a deep breath. The wee voices in the dark still niggled. Then you posted this video. I needed to hear this message. I thought of the quilt that is on our guest bed. It's the first one I ever made. It's a train wreck in comparison to things I've made since, but I love it. I love what I entered in the contest too. Thank you for a well needed reality check.

Your words of encouragement are always so on the nail! I definitely needed the reminder not to compare 😌 thank you for being you!

My first dress was a renaissance festival-ish dress from blue and gold brocade with heavy gold satin lining. It had no boning and closed in front with a really weird lacing system that I would never use again (I was afraid of buttonholes), lol! It was such a trial to sew such slippery stuff and super heavy but I was proud of it. It was the very best 18 year old me could do. This past month I just finished an 1870s silk polonaise with boning and buttonholes, my old nemesis. It took me three years, including a period where I knew my original bodice panel in front was a bad color choice and had to rip open the whole thing again to fix it. I also realized that I need to invest in a really high quality bespoke corset that has the spoon busk so my hips and stomach can stop crying, but that's another story! But when I tried on my new dress, complete with underpinnings, skirt, polonaise, hat and trimmings, it made me feel like I stepped out of a fairytale, it was everything I had hoped for. My 30+ something self thanks my 18 year old self for at least trying, and persevering, and troubleshooting, and not giving up on that heavy brocade all those years ago.

I was thinking on this same topic as I work on some combinations this month. I started sewing in 2018 because I was completely bedridden and has lost mobility due to health issues. Researching the history and skills lost to time gave me and still give me so much joy. Not only have I learned many techniques, I also know how to find the information I need as well. And I've learned how to relearn. I ask myself "alright, waistband, how would you have been attached during this time period." or "Alright, combination closure, what would have been used to keep you shut during this year. What would 1891 Rachel's have known and done to finish this piece." And that keeps me from using whatever modern techniques I know automatically. And it keeps my learning journey fresh. 2018 me was like a primary age student feeling frustrated by not understanding much. 2021 me can enjoy all the hard work paying off by not giving up. I'm not at university level yet, but I can accomplish much more and look back on the progress. No matter where you are in your journey, there is much to learn and enjoy.

I don't know how you do it. Every time I stop and just want to give up, so many things going on outside of my control, but then I find you again and realize at 63 I can still do better. Thank you

how wil i ever be as good as that person? practice, practice, practice. it takes years, but perfection takes time, never ever give up. i just hemmed a pillow case i made months ago. not perfectly but it will work. on to the next one. and one day i will make myself that uniform.

I look back at my first ever garment I sewed- also a circled skirt. I see the lettuced hem, and the pleats I had to put into the back because I cut the waistband on the bias. But you know what? I still wear it. Lettuce hem and all. I probably will go back in one day and redo the hem- using bias tape, which is now my favoured method for finishing curved hems. But no one really sees how badly the hem is done, and it’s a perfectly serviceable calf length black cotton broadcloth circle skirt. The only real issue with it is that every single bit of lint, dust and hair sticks to the cotton. But it’s fine. I’m right now making a pair of 18th century stays for myself. Something I couldn’t even imagine doing just one year ago, when I sewers that circle skirt. I know you say skills grow slowly, and maybe it will slow down significantly now I’m no longer a beginner- but I’ve seen my abilities grow hugely in the last year. I thought it would be years and years before I’d feel comfortable and confident enough to make something like stays, or the rest of my working class 18th century outfit. But it’s been exactly one year. I made my circle skirt in March 2020. It’s been such a gratifying journey, and I can’t wait to keep going, to keep increasing my skills. And to see where I am in another year, or two, or ten. And I’ve learned about myself in the time I’ve been sewing. I’ve discovered that I love hand sewing. I find it very meditative. And that I have a knack for making very neat little back stitches. (Still by far my favourite hand stitch because they look so neat and uniform on the outside of my garments). My confidence in myself generally has grown. I love that I can make clothing that I like, that fits me perfectly in both style and size. It’s not a cheap hobby, but it is still cheaper than commissioning the clothing that I like (which I couldn’t afford, and which would be the only way to get the garments I want). And I have also discovered that so many historical solutions work perfectly as accessible clothing- and given how ugly and uncomfortable I find most disability accessible clothing, that’s a wonderful discovery! No more plastic and Velcro! I’ve learned that I can be more comfortable in the middle of an Aussie summer, covered neck to ankle, than I was in short sleeves and a knee length skirt back when I wore polyester. That’s also been a wonderful discovery. And corsetry! That’s been literally life changing for me, as I can now sit up much longer in my wheelchair, which means I can go out for the day now. That’s made a huge difference to my life. It’s just been a wonderful journey. I’ve learned so much, grown so much, and been able to dress in a way that makes me feel good about myself. Excuse the blabbing, I just wanted to share how wonderful this has been, and it’s people of CosTube that got me started on this journey. So I’m incredibly grateful for that- thank you so much!

OH! My Mantra! I found that when I quit comparing myself to others, I could really feel proud of my work. I took on harder commissions and learned so many skills. Now, I don't step back from projects with that unsure feeling. I give them my all and am proud of them.

This is me and my cooking skills. Years ago I couldn't even boil eggs without getting them overdone or underdone. Now I don't even need a timer or measuring devices for most of the cooking I do. I'm comfortable winging ingredients I don't have or adding more of what I like. I also sew, but not as often as I cook. This video is inspiration for me to sew more, though, if my sewing skills can someday be as good as my cooking skills.

I just had to seam-rip 3 hours of work this evening. I cried last night at how much a hated what I had made and the hours, pain, and money that I felt I had wasted. this evening I'm back, I'm facing my sewing machine and I'm trying again. this is my biggest project since I was 12. I get anxiety just looking at my sewing machine, yet here I am trying again. I'm trying to remember this lesson, that I have to start somewhere and already what I've made today is better then yesterday. thank you Cathy for the reminder

Thank You so much. I sat and argued with my treadle tonight, while I was busy making an external pocket, and the cuss words were flying all over the place. My machine is currently staring at me from behind because we both need a break from each other. Looking at the work I just did versus the work others have done would scare the crap out of me. Yet, I just said to my best friend tonight that I am not up to make a skirt. Knit a shawl, make mittens, socks, gloves... Sewing is not in my wheelhouse quite yet. Yet I too was 18 in 1991. I think I better go order that fabric, and knit while I wait for it to come in. I have a maxi skirt to draft and sew. (After I oil my treadle, and finish this pocket.)

I had this experience spindle spinning this year. I looked at singles I'd spun a few years ago when I started, and saw not only how much better my yarn is, but I understood why it's better. I now see what movements create that better thread, and how to do it at will. It's like a teacher looking at student work. And it cheered me up to see the progress.

Thank you so much, Cathy!!! 🥰❤❤❤ I've been really unmotivated to do anything for a long while, but this helped. Even school work seemed overwhelming let alone pursuing my art. I let myself indulge in day dreams all day long about how I will be this amazing artist like so-and-so, but never do anything about it. I find it hard to get up and do anything because my art isn't "there" yet. But if I keep sitting here my dreams will never come to fruition.

I often see this from the perspective of a teacher when people tell me that they could never sew/knit/cook/name the skill I have worked to cultivate the way I do or when they attribute my results to "talent". I don't see my skills as "talents", but rather as the culmination of years (or sometimes decades) of learning, practice and work. But the people who see my current skill level are only able to see where I am. They haven't seen the work and time I have invested along the way. They don't know where I started from, or how long ago I started. So I tell the stories of my first attempts while teaching them the skills I have, so that they know I have burned pancakes and sewed my seams on the wrong side and made any number of other beginner mistakes on the way to where I am. Thank you for this.

This is something I am constantly doing, without even thinking about it and I quite often forget to remind myself of where I started and where I am now. I am still way off from where I want to be but I have come a long way compared to that starting point. Thank you for the reminder ♥

I think I just gave this same lecture to my son yesterday morning. 🤪 He's learning the trumpet and was getting frustrated by his lack of "ability". I showed him the video of his virtual "concert" from 3 months ago. He realized how much he had actually progressed. I've learned, the hard way, that we are all in individual journeys. We can be inspired by those that we surround ourselves with, but we cannot compare our journeys. It's because of this it's so important to surround us with positive, uplifting people. Thank you for inspiring us all to be a creative badass, whatever our pursuits. ❤️

I would argue that your 18-year-old self and you today are *not* the same person! All you two have in common is your DNA, the name and first 18 years of life story. And all the learning, experiences, dreams and projects in between made you into this whole new person. What connects the two of you is the passion for dressmaking.

Can you please stop being in my head and know exactly what I need to hear?! (Thank you so much for these videos)

This video arrived at the end of a sluggish and tough week. As usual, Fridays are a little bit brighter thanks to your messages. Thank you very much for your effort!

You continually remind me of lessons I’ve learned, yet have somehow begun to ignore. Thank you for bringing me back, again, and for being such a wonderful voice of positivity and love.

I have entered as an apprentice in this year competition, I'm quite envious of others' skills, but I'm so proud of what I managed to get out in a certain amount of time and for what my skills are. I find it really motivating to see others' entries, I admire and think that one day, if I continue sewing, I could be making even more beautiful and complex things like them. I compare myself with others, but in a more compassionate way to myself, I know I'm not as good, but I also know that I'm not at the same level, I've only been sewing for about 2 years now, so it's obvious that I won't be as good as someone who's done this for way longer and I know that, and I accept that. I just admire everyone's entry, so much work and beautiful things. 💕 Although, I remember, that 2 years ago, I would probably have felt very defeated and garbage about myself 😂

I've been laid up for 6 year with significant health issues ...to the point I couldn't read or write (I'm a writer & speed ...so yeah.) OK what CAN I do? I still have ears. I listened to lectures. When could look at the screen I watched sewing/craftsmanship videos. I could enjoy others rocking out! Two weeks ago, my baby cousin (age 14) asked if I could help him with the hair on a doll he wanted to make for his bestie. My mom cousin & I made a Coraline (Keira-line♡) themed doll with purple & black hair & a cape because I can't sew a jacket....and then a jacket, because I didn't know how to make a shirt, and then a punk-Victorian sleevless shift because I was trying to make a pattern but the mock up was too cute. We used pie-weights & his Grams buttons & Great -Great Aunties hooks & eyes.....and I was suddenly doing French seams, pressed & fine finished hems. Draping & custom fitting tiny clothes for a 16 doll with unequal arm & leg lengths. I made a frigging thumb-sized booty pad & little undies....and a crinoline underskirt,....& a satin overskirt....& placed secret embroidery & "Easter egg" hidden treasures. The six years of watching high quality content (& cheering on others) seems to have seeped into my brain, crock potted,...and when it was time....poured out in a stream of astonishing creativity, success & utter delight . We are making another doll next week. Thanks Cathy...and Ms. Banner who never fails to bring the good(s). ♡

🥺 👉🏻👈🏻 How did you know?

Well, that gave me a good cry. Every time I’d been drawing lately I’d been beating myself up and comparing myself to people younger and more talented than I, hating the school system I grew up with for discouraging art or dismissing it as a valid career path. Thank you, Cathy. I’m going to go sketch.

In a novel I read (Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik), a character described high-magic as making a promise bigger than yourself, then stepping into it. This really resonated with me, especially in crafting. Young-you said that you were going to make the Monroe dress, and then you did. Then you made another project, and then another. This is why we need to stop letting fear or doubt stop us from doing the things we want to do. None of us ever has the ability to do X, until we do it. That's the magic of it.

My first personal project was a skirt. I made it too big and the waist is really messy along with some raw edges inside the skirt, and the day before the deadline I was so ashamed of what I did. I didn't want to present it to my peers, because I knew it wasn't very good. This was my first year in fashion design and I had sewed for at least 5 months. Now I look at it and it gives me the urge to recreate it, to see how much I have learned in only 2 years. I am making my first wool coat and the seams are much more well made, but it's fun to see how much I have grown and found myself in the last 2 years. Cheers to learning!

Needed this Thank you cathy! Since lockdown I started making my own clothes, all historically inspired because I had the time and couldn't buy what I wanted. I taught myself to use patterns and even drafting, learnt as much as I could as quick as I could about fibres and drape and how to work with fabric to create exactly what I wanted. I sewed everything by hand for the first 10 months before getting my first sewing machine(vintage singer, obv 😁) Don't get me wrong, I've always been quick to learn when it comes to anything tactile and I'm grateful if that but yes I put the work in (lockdown,nothing else to do right??😂). it was hard, and new and I put my all into creating a pretty complete turn of the century inspired winter and autumn wardrobe. It's not perfect, but the imperfections are hidden. And I'm proud of what I've done. but now I see spring and summer over the horizon, and I have my fabrics and trims stashed ready to go. Even most of the patterns are ready. But I just can't seem to start. I have time I know, but I genuinely don't feel like I'll be able to do it. I'm so scared of messing up, I've invested my clothing budget into this and I'm so totally petrified I will ruin it all. To the point where it's even messing with my body dismorphia. I'm questioning my own ideas and design choices every day and can't even stick to a plan. I don't know what to do, I've not the space to just start everything and finish later, havnt the budget to waste materials -and I don't want to be in a position where I'm wearing yards of muslin tied up with cotton tape "a-la-toga" style come summer. it's even affecting my knitting which I've undone so many times the yarn is giving up on me. 😂

I think this is one of those videos I'm going to come back and watch many times in my life, wether I need help with my sewing confidence or just my life confidence. So many times have I only focused on the now and not thought about improvements of the past, or how current struggles may help me in the future. I'm doing a degree in theatre costume and have gone down the supervising path because I was too afraid to even sew in front of my teachers. But then I look back on the (clearly VERY) amateur cosplay that was the first thing I ever made (and took for my opening day), and realise even my teachers could see the room to grow. The thing is, I AM growing now, even if its in my own pace. I may never want to sew for another person again but I've nearly completed my first historical outfit (a victorian waistcoat and skirt using full historical method and machine) and I can't lie and say its bad because compared to that first cosplay, its made to a level I couldn't even understand back then! My worst critic is my mum, who compares me to my classmates constantly and has never complimented a single thing I've made (at least not without an equal criticism). I think learning to focus on my own journey may just be the thing I need to find the passion I had back with that first cosplay and interview. Thank you Cathy

I still have my first dress none of the interior seems were hemmed so the skirt and bodice are coming apart. I was and am still so dang proud of my first dress made out of spite. I have fond memories of my begining projects so I keep them. They help me see how I've grown.

I needed this so badly. As someone trying to break into video game art, all I can do it seems is compare myself to others and it’s been really hard. It’s especially difficult when you’re trying to make a career out of your passion as you might be able to relate. Thanks Cathy 💖

Aw. thanks, Cathy. We all need to be told that once and a while.

Thank you for the reminder Cathy! It’s much like you said about that green summer skirt: if you just keep working at it, the thing you are working on Will progress (whether it wants to or not!) and with it your skills as well!

What a good point to look at our prior works and be proud of what we did then with who we were! Like anything in life, its baby steps to strive to where we want to be!

I showed my daughter this video. She is just starting her new photography business and is extremely nervous. Wonderful advice!

Thanks. I needed this today...the mistakes of making Victorian skirts and hemming them without the proper undergarments, sewing from historically inaccurate patterns, all of it sometimes makes me wonder about my skills. Even sewing something like a little dress for my granddaughter fills me with self doubt. Luckily, I enjoy the process. During this pandemic, I have seen five Mennonite Cape dresses in succession, tweaking the pattern each time and using different fabrics. I have learned so much about technique, fabric drape, dart placement and accuracy. Each dress fits entirely differently. Only by making mistakes and experimenting can we grow and learn!

As a true beginner sewist I'm loving everything I make, however ratty the insides may be! And however many times they need to go to someone a different size or shape to myself! So proud when my daughter wore my AD Cape and Witch bonnet for World Book Day, even if I wimped out of the competition!

Bless you Cathy for having the wit, strength, sense, drive and kindness to Lift Others Up. You make such a difference. Thank you.

Sound life advice for everyone facing any challenge at any stage of life thank you Cathy!

As a musician, I have always compared myself to other clarinetists and I'm always feeling inferior to how better everyone else is than me... even those who are at my level and lower. I've been playing clarinet since 2007 (when I was a measly 10-year-old) and when I was 17 in 2014 when I went to a summer music camp at a college in Iowa, and I placed **1ST CHAIR** even when at my high school, I didn't want to be in symphonic band (I loved being in the second level band because I knew that my band director was always pushing us)... but I still compared myself to those above me in concert band and even those in symphonic band (even knowing I was good enough to be in symphonic band... I didn't want to) and I still compare myself to my old classmates today. (It's been 5+ years since I was in high school band)

when i was young i would have killed to have a neighbour like you. i had a passion for sewing, and nobody to share it with

This just made me think that about a year ago, I would machine sew everything, not finish any seams and basically speed run everything. Now, even though I can still see the mistakes, I can also see the time and precision that went into a garment that makes it so much better than the things I was making a year ago. (I'm also about to attempt my first 1860s dress and I'm as intimidated as I am excited!)

Our most important relationship we will ever have is with ourselves. With the experiences we have, we grow. You are correct about progressing. Good job on both dresses.

Wise words as ever Miss Hay! I often feel bad comparing my work to my mum's but then I remember she has been sewing for nearly 60 years and has a little advantage.

Thank you, Cathy! ♡

Heartwarming and highly motivating. And, of course, you are so right!

Mrs. Hay, you're so charismatic, I love how much wisdom you share with us through your humorous and nonchalant manner 🤗💖 thank you so much for your authenticity

Thank you for this video! Comparing myself and my work to others is an all time issue to me. When I started sewing decades ago it was my Mum I compared myself to and really struggled as she was so perfect, so neat... She´d chose a project, buy the right fabrics and finish it following all the rules. I had some silly dream, grabbed what ever cheap fabric or old curtain I could find and winged it... she told me: you are creative, you are quick, but you will never be neat... Nowadays I still have silly dreams- mainly of altering a vintage garment to my body measurements (I´m not an elfin and most 40ies or 50ies clothes I buy are far too small) or making a vintage inspired garment. I still use second hand fabrics and old curtains (sometimes from the right era, sometimes newer, but good imitations of the look and haptics of the original) , but I have given up on using semi industrial hacks and trying to be even quicker and more effective. What I try to do is read out the original garment and alter in the way the garment was originally made- for example tiny machine stitches, hand finished edges. And my Mum who has sadly passed away often seems to be in the room with me, watching me work, reminding me of being neat. I feel her reminding me of the easier ways to do things, too and then reply to her that I don´t need them, that I feel the need to stick to the original way... even if it takes ages. I´m still creative, I´m much neater than before but I´m certainly not quick anymore. I know this is an achievement as the sewing I do is of sound quality, it feels right. Still I often compare myself and feel like a loser when I see other people seemingly make the same dress in a fraction of the time it takes me. Last year a friend and I worked with the same original 50ies pattern. My dress took me weeks including a full night spent doing meters and meters of hem by hand, hers was finished in two afternoons. It´s still hard for me to stand up for not using the overlock machine (except for when a dress originally had overlock finishings like some of my 60ies shop bought dresses have), for not just bagging a lining out, for not hemming by machine...

When I was perhaps 12 years old, I almost stopped drawing, because I believed I wasn't good enough, not as good as others, not the best. That feeling still lingers, both in my research job - where I never feel like I am doing or can do the important things - and in my personal life where I don't dare assemble and send in a collection of my poems. It scares me, but I think it is time to let go of these self-limiting beliefs. I have a lot of feelings and thoughts about this, but for now it will suffice to say: Thank you!

What a wonderful uplifting video. Your videos make me want to get back to sewing. I took sewing in school, 68-71, sewed my own clothes and my daughters. Sometimes they were wonderful and sometimes they weren't, I learned more along the way. I'm still learning as I watch you and others make beautiful clothing. I made my first costume a few years back to wear to a Comic Con, Victorian Steampunk. It didn't come out too bad. I got lots of compliments but I would like to make it a bit better. I'm 66, we are always learning.

Thank you so much for this. The first costume I've ever sewn made me so proud (actually... I think I was around 18 then :D), and I got some lovely compliments for it. However, when I took it out several years later, looking for something to wear for a halloween party, I was shocked how bad I was when I started. That was a bad feeling. This video made me think about that moment and actually changed my view. It's not important that I was "worse" then. I've learned so much since then, and I wouldn't be where I am now, had I not made that really-not-that-well-made dress a dozen years ago. It's currently in a box, waiting to be cut up and reused, if the fabric is fitting a project. But now I think I will keep it to remind myself that I've made really great progress. Again, thank you. This was worth sharing.

Oh yay! You made my day! I've been waiting for you next video to come out!

That goes for any skill set, arts or craft. Gaining confidence is a progressive experience. Thanks for sharing Cathy.