How to Stop Getting Triggered & Keep the Ego in Check 

Hi friends, what was one of your biggest takeaways from this?

Your question "What am I trying to protect / defend?" What an excellent question / point! Will try to remember that question the next time I am feeling defensive.

The ego is not your amigo.

Your second point of "living for celebrating only a few moments of success" totally hits me right in there... This is why I really love you and your channel, so deep, detailed, and right to the point

Knowing who we are authentically seems to be key here. If we have found our authentic selves and trust that we can rely on it, all the ego problems are resolved, there is nothing to be hurt or broken any more. I've read a lot about this and seen a lot of videos, and all sources seem to say this same thing. I haven't yet been able to find my authentic self and I'm still struggling to grasp this subject and therefore, I still feel fragile and insecure a lot. My biggest struggle now is that I still don't understand how I can realize my authentic self; the pathway is not so clear for me. But this video helped to identify some stepping stones, so thank you for that.

why am i crying thank you very much again and please be safe

You are by far the easiest, clearest, most down to earth person out there to listen to. You give such fabulous advice. There's so much to learn about ourselves and because of the world we live in and constantly meeting new people and entering new situations our perception of ourselves changes too. A simple thank you seems so little in comparison to what you share with us, but thank you so very much.

All I can say is thank you Julia....you have helped me to improve my life by giving me the tools to get control of my ego.

You should be open to learning new things I agree with you Julia.❤

"People are showing up in their current state of awareness, whatever they have going on" do not take their comments or reactions personally. We are all in different places of growth and development.

Thank you for your videos, it helps me a lot! You are helping people to change their realities and consequently change their surroundings and make the world a better place. Thabk you

Wow during this video I found myself smiling a lot, you are so safe and validating. You make it all so simple because these concepts and practices are quite thorny. My share, growing up in a family where my parents egos were and are still disturbingly fragile the ego has been always interesting concept. It is very frustrating when two people can speak the same words yet have totally different meanings.

Whenever I can, I recommend my friends or coda friends, to you! You have such a knack at teaching and healing!

I love the way you teach by also using your own self-acknowledgement and share. It is effective.

I agree with you ms. Nocross. I believe she is one of the most astute , aware individual's with a knowledge of both herself and the patterns, and mental processes of others and she's a dynamic presenter as well. And aren't we the more blessed because of her skills?

Yes! Great information! I have always had a fear of being judged. And I have a lot of opinions that I defend by not presenting them to others. 🙂💞I love that you enjoy dancing!

You are a gift to humanity ♥️

So powerful and poignant . Thank you for this!

My take away from this is to have a "beginners mind". It's a humbling experience as I learn continually. Thank you for this very insightful video ❤️

You are heaven sent! Everything you said resonated with me and that’s ok right 🤗Thanking you with all my heart!♥️🙏🏾

Every time I am about to watch one of your videos, Julia, it's like I am choosing the 'red pill'. The unpleasant truth is about to unveil.. Although it sucks realizing that many of these negative mindsets relate to me, understanding what it is and what caused them will help with my positive transformation, I am sure! I cannot thank you enough. I am guilty for not 'liking' all the videos that I like but since I came across your channel a little while ago, I have been binge-listening to one after another..and re-listening again. I like your positivity and it's amazing how things you say make so much sense. Even when they don't at first :) Thanks Julia! ❤ P.S. I am going to be more consistent with putting 'likes' so more people can benefit from your advice :)

I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you!!! You are such a great person and thank you again for sharing all of your knowledge with us 💞 You talk about absolutely everything that a lot people go through every day. You’re awesome 🥰

Thank you so much for your videos. I have a horrible habit of procrastination and feel anxious about the task at hand for days and weeks together .i tried meditating on why I keep doing that but dont seem to understand why I keep procrastinating again and again knowing that I will be in a trap of anxiousness. Can you please do a video on that? why we procrastinate and how I can overcome this horrible habit .

I really wanna give some awesome, inspiring comment. But being the introvert me, I often don't comment if someone's doing a great job and that I have nothing bad to comment about them. Because Miss Julia, you are DEFINITELY doing a great job! You're doing such a wonderful job that I'm just speechless. 😂 Thank you for bringing joy and educating me 😭

Thank you. 🌻 I always take notes. I begin again, daily. Brilliant!!!

This was so helpful & gave me a new understanding of the ego.

Not unnoticed, you are very connected just keep doing what you are doing.

New to your channel and you are just fantastic. Wonderful information presented in such a warm, thoughtful manner. Thank you 🙏🏻

Sometimes it’s hard not to get defensive.

Oooohh this was good teaching...#7 a game changer😉👍🏾 Thank you! On my journey of transformation!!

It seems to me when we can acknowledge that we are finite humans living a time-sensitive existence like the central characters in a movie called Griffin and Phoenix then it's amazing how transformative that realization can be. None of us have forever to accomplish what we were sent here to do(which l see it now is to prosper the human community-- even one person at a time just because.

Thank you Julia for these free videos

I think your videos are great. Your insight is incredible.

I loved everything you said !!! You are awesome Julia !

Thank you for doing this work and these videos. I am interested in joiningThe Shift Society! I wished you lived in my home town. Great job!

Hey Julia! I love your videos! I love the way that you explain every topic in a way that is easy to understand :)

Thank you for this resource, me and my wife of 26 yrs are going through some issues. I say something she takes it completely wrong (makes it sound like she thinks poorly of me to think I would attack her about nothing) anyway I get triggered & go nuclear and then she goes nuclear, I need to learn how to not go nuclear when she get angry for no reason.

Great advice, Thank you:-)

Thank you so much for your channel Julia! It is interesting that you said the second, last one, of being "your authentic self" is a cliche. I was talking to someone today, about the fact that the most simple concepts are often the most difficult and profound~~~

the ego is like fire - it must be minded

Dear Julia. Thank Jou for all your work. Could you please speak about counterdependence and the mechanisms of a hard to tame superego?

Thankyou so much for your videos... so educational and informative... i learn so much from you. 🥰

Thank you. Everything makes sense 🙏

They should talk about this in school

Hi my name is Anna and I am eagerly wanting to spiritually dominate my ego and get it under control

be a good listener don't make it about you be willing to be a beginner, regardless of how long you have been doing it, this allows you to see things from a new perspective

Thank you Doc!

Life is about the journey.

You're the best frfr

❤️🤟so accurate

I'm aware that this can be an existentially difficult and distasteful topic for some and it may be highly offensive (in a bad way) and offputting as a result. But here's my two cents on how this may be approached to quell some of the distastefulness - and a reminder that I'm no expert but rather just expressing my thoughts and ideas on how it can be navigated with less unnecessary and unbeneficial suffering. So... I think that, first of all, there's no denying that it IS offensive because it requires "shaking up the boat" and moving on "uncharted territory" but it's not done for the sake of seeking a detrimental way, but rather a recalibrating and growing way. It'll hurt to some degree, and that's the idea of "short term pain, long term gain"... it's to shed light on the unhelpful and allow growth for the new and more helpful aspects of your life. Having said that, in case of aiming to minimise any destructive offense caused and improving effectiveness of such topics of treatment, I think we first need to establish that "bringing up the ego" is not (and to me, honesty, out of helpfulness and effectiveness, should not be) intended and used as an insult or unnecessary blame on the person and emphasise that it's just specifically a detrimentally dangerous aspect of the person rather than going after the person's entire character and existence. That way, from there, I think ego discussions are much less unintentionally offensive in a malicious way. Again, like any overwhelming and mountainous proposition, it's the idea of treading carefully but determinedly by using a surgeon's approach with a scalpel with precise and small step navigations rather than, say, a lumberjack's chainsaw and mowing through the person thick, hard and fast at a million miles an hour... but still approaching with "no BS" assistance, forthrightly, truthfully and openly without "sugarcoating" it. Honestly, I think psychological discussions and empathic listening is not thst much different to physical surgery... it's just in a different dimensional plane to me. My point is, you can still be strong and helpful with boundaries in any discussion when articulating and listening without using excessive force and/or being a bully... in fact using minimal force and only delivering what's necessary in consideration/acknowledgement of the other person's words may even help you to be stronger and more effective in helping others help themselves improve. It may also give you a more accurate picture of whether or not the person you're trying to listen to, has hope and is interested in self-improvement or not, knowing that you've done what you can manage to use as less harsh demeanour as possible in the situation. Hopefully that all makes sense and that it helps somewhat, especially the idea that you and your ego (which can serve or destroy you in helpful and unhelpful ways depending on how you "train" it) are separate entities connected and that your entire existence is not your ego as one giant lump, especially if you truly don't want it to be (but sadly a different story for those who beg to differ and lean on the solely destructive side of it).

U mentioned inner work, and do u go inward???

Hi can you name the 2 videos that are part of this series.

thank you

How long normally does the waiting list take? I signed up to get a free 10 mins exercise another but I haven't get it yet. I'm wondering if I did sign up the right way?

I would love to know what your sun sign is.....(or even your big 3, perhaps that's more private, but I would love to understand why you're so inspiring to me on a deeper level. )

Very good!

I have always had troubles with understanding the concept of “being my true self”. What if I’m a toxic abuser and manipulator, should I not struggle to change? Should I embrace my being toxic and manipulative? How does that work?

You are amazing♡♡♡

Do you think you could make a video on the power we have on others and how we can impact the life’s of others without the material things?

Hello, Im New here. My name IS Maya, and I would like to thank you for what you are doing it helps a lot! 💕 I Have a question, I worked a lot past years and understood the ego part, I can see My self in others before I I changed, But what to do when all My family and freinds are People Who hasn't done that work and are not able to say thay are sorry when they make a mistake?or change...I understand theyre at there level of growth But its becoming really Hard, because the more I understand the more I feel and become alone.

👍

My BIG problem is that when I’m being triggered, I go from 0 to 100😰. I just end up reacting, saying the wrong thing, making arguments worst and then feeling miserable, stupid and guilty about my reaction 😖

I think you are the only or one of few coaches I can relax to . You are such a great presenter.

I find kids are like the beginners we should choose to be inspired by. Their simple discoveries and candid opinions are funny, beautiful, sometimes annoying, but unashamedly curious and brave.

Ok, my shame normally stops me from commenting on public sites, but it cannot stop me this time. Holy smokes, sister! You are ridiculously real and aren’t afraid to get down and dirty. Thank you for your insight, vulnerability and wisdom. I so appreciate this lesson. Sending love and light....💜🌟

Hello Adam Loza here. I have been an addict my whole life and I was sober for a few years. I thought I had it all together... than I relapsed.... and I went to rehab... I still used in rehab and I could not figure out how to get right....till.. I decided to start over... I needed to be a beginner again.... I'm still sober today... I love all you are doing I want more info omg....

I love your talks.

Ego should provide you with a healthy defense that allows you to safely transition between ideas and personalities as you learn, grow, and explore. The ego becomes unhealthy when it is fixed on a certain idea, outcome, or thing. A healthy ego allows others to have differing viewpoints while one retains his/her own point of view. One does not feel personally attacked if his/her views and opinions are questioned since his/her survival is not associated with any view or opinion. The unhealthy ego comes about as a result of a stifled exploration period, primarily associated with childhood experiences, that shows one that the world outside of one's own beliefs, views, experiences is unsafe and dangerous to one's well being (survival was threatened). To recover a healthy ego, a person must practice acceptance, return to an expansion and exploration type of mindset, and discover the boundaries that will allow one to be one's self while being accepting of others. Ego is NOT the enemy. Ego is a friend once you become aware of it and learn how to manage it. It will keep you safe if you learn to use it appropriately.

"People are projecting from their own current state of understanding" This is so good! Super helpful! Thank you!!

This is great advice. I was taking notes of things I will implement in my relationships. Thank you! My favorite takeaway: "If you've done nothing wrong, there is nothing to defend. If you've done something wrong, there is nothing to defend."

I use to get defensive. I didn't realize that was my ego. Good to know that there's nothing to defend just accountability, responsibility, and apology. I guess we should still apologize even when didn't do anything wrong but for some reason the other may have been offended or didn't like what was/wasn't done.🤔💭

Everything made so much sense to me, I feel like I gained a lot of insights and aha moments from this 25 min talk. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge ❤️✨

How to become " thickskinned)

The beginners mind... you sound like the Buddha... it's so true... it humbles you... it shows you your strengths and limitations... thank you. For your wisdom.

Ego is the little centre of the Babushka doll... the core of self.... surrounded by the colourful exterior.

Julia have you read a New Earth by Eckhart Tolle? Your content so reminds me of that book! Love love how you deliver this information in such a practical way ❤️

Whew this hit home like crazy 😫

That’s me! The goal chaser! In between I become “almost” depressed. I have to move out of this. Thank you so much!

Hello, My name is Nicolas, I’m from France. I’m new here. Thank you for that channel, nice work ! I just found it, working on my (very protective) ego. The biggest takeaway in this video is to be curious instead of defensive, I bet it will help a lot.

I love the part of "A Beginners Mind." We bring way too much stuff forward with our relationships. Children don't hold grudges because they come forth with a beginners mind. This is so mindfulness. Thanks.

Should you not at least be able to respond to the negative behaviour that's upsetting you so those who are triggering you know what theyve done. I've spent 10 years just putting up with things I hate because I felt like I was an awful person to say no, but I've come to realise that while I was thinking of others while they were only thinking of themselves, no one was thinking of me. And now I'm so angry. Angry that they did it all and angry that they cant see how selfish and inconsiderate they are.

Hi Julia! I want to take some time to thank you for your videos. I tried many times therapy and rarely got what I needd out of it. These videos are super helpful and correspond perfectly to my needs growthwise. I also want to take this time to thank you specifically because I am so grateful that these videos are free. I don't have a big enough income to pay a therapist and these really help me understand a lot about myself. So once again thank you!

Don't think 'some people' are born without an ego. That is a naive & dangerous statement. Please do not say that to your clients again. It reinforces the believe that some ppl are born defective by comparison. I'm sure your hubby works every day to stay in control of his ego so it doesn't run his live. He may be a master of his ego when you met him but don't take from his achievement.

Thank you so much to your teaching God bless you.

I like it when you admit that you struggle or have struggled with things. Or that you aren't perfect for whatever reason. You admitted you have an ego. If you're this honest about yourself then I guess you don't have an inflated one. Excellent!

I have noted that I have grown at pretty much a snail's pace. I have also noted how often people have tried to rush my growth, not really respecting my own pace and need for self-examination. If it weren't for my previous boundary work I think I could easily gotten waylaid/sidetracked and thrown way off my own course. Thanks for your help in my own development.

You’re lucky you have such an easygoing husband Julia.

Your husband lucky to have you as a wife I watch all your videos like over and over lol

How your videos are free is simply mind blowing! The amount of information that you have put out in these videos with all your heart, speaks volumes about how much you are willing to help people heal and grow. I am a new subscriber of your channel. I intend to finish watching all your videos and join the Shift Society as soon as possible. I am already addicted to listening you unveil the reality of life in the most simplest ways possible. You are simply Awesome! May God bless you ❤❤❤

You are such a good teacher..I really enjoyed this..Going back to vid 1 & 2 , Thanks Julia :)

I am new here! It sounds like micro steps are the best way to go~~~. My ego seems to be ruining my life. I get hurt SO easily. I am afraid to follow my passion because I am afraid to be seen, to fail, and the biggest "story" I have is that I am the outsider, even in my family of origin. My brother is extremely popular, even with our first cousins, whereas I am not included. I am extremely sensitive, and don't know if I am an EMPATH or just a "submissive animal in the jungle." I tend to post when I've had a rough day...sorry for the dumping :(

Narcissists have enormous egos. Empaths and co-dependents have small egos.

Hi JUlia!! This is so encouraging and motivating 🧡 What i loved the most was let my self be a beginner, alow my self to be courios, allow people to be in a different stage of understanting of things. Thanks!! i clicked the like button now!!

It's funny because I was thinking this week that I need to work on not getting defensive with people. So I was going to look through your videos to find one about it. And here we are.

Don’t try to be something or someone you’re not.❤

Not everything is about you.❤

Thanks, you totally make so much sense. So many people need to listen and take a step back and be who they were created to be.

Don’t take everything personally.❤

Thank you for these Ego videos Julia.. I have really connected to them and have learnt so much❤️ thank you for doing what you do.