Intrusive thoughts have destroyed my life for a very long time...I have watched many videos on intrusive thoughts, but this video feels very assuring! Thank you very much for sharing this...
bluedough what kind of intrusive thoughts do you get. For me I get doubts about something and I have to repeat something over and over in my head till the doubt gets cleared and 10 minutes later, the same or another doubt pops up again.
The only way to stop ruminating is by realizing that you can’t stop ruminating. Just go about your activities even if your mind is stuck. Just say to yourself, you are not your mind.
essel23fly better said than done. If you really have OCD, you'd know how overwhelming the DOUBT is. It's always like "I'll settle this one last doubt and it will all be good from then." But we know the doubts never end but still we can't stop attempting to solve them. This is the most paradoxical illness in the world. It started when I was 12 and now I'm 24! Can you believe it? 12 years of mental torture. Do I have another chance at life? I don't think so...
Action Potential the key word there is paradox. You can’t reason with it. You just have to do it, not worry and go about your day. The reason why it’s real to you is because you’re thinking about it. If you were being chased by a Lion right now do you think you’d be thinking about OCD? Meaning if you occupied your mind with other things you’d have less chance of ruminating. But of course you can’t make this last forever, the thoughts will creep back again. You just have to realize it and repeat the cycle again until one day you’re better. It’s important to know that this takes time, it’s not just an on and off switch.
Action Potential Sorry for the late response, I just seen your comment! The type of intrusive thoughts that I get, are the urge to yell obscene things in public or say rude things...but deep down, I don't really feel that way!
You have to practise having the thoughts and not engaging you will get sensations and urges ro sngage but do nothing just go about your day, its the subconscious mind just observe it
Mindfulness meditation will help. Interestingly, the thinker and the thought are not 2 separate things, but one phenomenon. There is a space of awareness behind all that thinking.
This video is the thing that finally broke through to me and allowed me to break my years and years long cycles of ruminant thought. Thank you, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.
Wow for over a month now I’ve been ruminating about a past situation that I’ve been forgiven for. I keep thinking about details to confess, even though the details don’t change the story that I’ve been forgiven for. I’m relieved to hear that it’s okay for it to be hard to stop ruminating. I’ve been trying to stop and when I caught myself doing it again I feel/felt so anxious and panicked as if the only way to stop this is to confess.
Hun I kissed another lad while in a relationship with a man I love x because i was already depressed I fell into a black hole of severe guilt ruminated every second about it and about what I'd done x I told my boyfriend after 5 weeks of pure panic but my OCD ruminating behaviour came back Xx boyfriend forgave me for kissing someone but I'm still feeling pretty down x
I,be been ruminating for years actually all of my life even this morning I was ruminating about a conversation I had last night . Before that I was ruminating about something that happened to me over 45 days ago. I can't tell you how helpful this was. Immediately I feels like a grip has released on my head thank you so much. It feels really good
I've been ruminating since childhood and I'm now in my early 60's. I have had OCD and other disorders due to traumas left untreated. Therapy helped somewhat , but not with these areas. Thank you for your help and support .
I also been doing this since childhood...constantly going over conversations i should have not said or should have..over and over...or something i did. I am 62 and still consumes me. I never considered it as OCD. I just thought i was mental and worried a lot. My mind never shuts up or off.
@@tmills1722 One suggestion to reduce over-thinking is to be careful what you feed your mind. Avoid comparing yourself with others, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 10-15-20 minutes or more. You can sit or lay down on the bed--eyes closed--No deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. With practice the mind will relax. Keep a reminder to observe your breath sensations throughout the day and night anywhere -anytime-- before sleep, at work, taking a walk, at home, when travelling etc with eyes open or closed. Like me make breath observing a lifetime habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.
@@tmills1722 i pray that you get over this, I know this may seem basic advice but try talking to a therapist. Try to find one you feel comfortable with. Man or woman?
The best way to stop ruminating is NOT and try to stop it. It's more like being aware of it and understand the problem. It's best to be mindful of it and with time it will become easier and easier. Trying to stop it will make you more anxious. It's also best to learn how to relax as looking at the root of the problem is always best to solve issues
This is one of the tactics I’ve been trying to do, it’s hard to ignore it, but the best thing to do is to acknowledge what is bothering, and to understand how long I’ve been ruminating on that, and to try to finally let it go.
Insightful and helpful video. Thanks to you I realize the act "ruminating" is simply more relatable and specific than the act of "obsessing" . For an OCD sufferer like myself it's much more helpful to understand exactly what I do when uncomfortable thoughts arise and the word "obsessing" is too broad.
IceveinsProductions I agree! For the type of ocd I have my religion considers it an “obsession” which I totally disagree with it! I have been obsessed with things in my life hat I chose to be obsessed quote and enjoyed!!! But what I have is totally unwanted. To me obsessions are things one desires
Thank you for providing such a clear, concise outline of rumination and some steps to manage it - this helpful information applies equally to rumination from having a complex trauma history (cPTSD, bullying, adverse childhood experiences, many folks without OCD experience chronic rumination as a response to severe shock). I didn’t even know other people were not doing this behaviour until recently when developmental trauma research began to gain traction and appear on the internet with its connection to cPTSD and increased likely hood of PTSD in response to new acutely stressful events in adulthood. 🙏
What about the emotion that comes with the initial thought, that goes with my ruminations and I hate it, shame, guilt and fear get attached it's almost like my whole body gets filled with these emotions I don't desire
Absolutely! It's like an immediate plug in to an intense emotion, just because of one sudden thought. I often feel the embarrasment of an insignificant memory from ages ago (nobody but me remembers) fresh as if it happened yesterday. I find very helpful for this the attitude of acceptance of your own thoughts and emotions, a core element in mindfulness, very well explained in many talks!
The spike is basically the obsession plus the emotions that come with them to trigger you to start rumination. You have to treat them as insignificant and disregard them. Do not take them seriously! No matter whether its guilt, shame, fear, sexual arousal, a feeling of having to pee.... whatever, OCD can simulate all feelings. Disregard, move on with what you were doing until you forgot the spike.
All kinds of resistance towards any unwanted feelings, emotions or thoughts, will always feed themselves. Acknowledge them and try to get on with it regardless how awful you feel. This teaches the brain that regardless how much unwanted things it throws at you, you don’t care, as in genuinely don’t care. Good luck!
Have the same issue. Have intense, stored, somatoemotional pain from past traumas and regrets from self sabotage. In my experience the rumination is a dysfunctional escape from that discomfort. However, the only thing that works for me is remaining consciously aware of the sensation in the body without escaping into thought. You might consider somatic experiencing therapy, as a lot of this stuff is stored in the autonomic nervous system. Check out Irene Lyon's RU-vid channel.
You’ve just explained something that I’ve been dealing with for as long as I can remember. I feel like this is going to change my life forever. Thank you
I’ve been ruminating and catastrophizing about one worry for six months now and it’s constantly growing and consuming me, no matter how small the probability of it happening is. No matter what people tell me... I still feel anxious about it. I’ve been looking for answers for a while now and this calmed me down a bit. Thank you
Dave I can't thank you enough for this simple tip! I often ruminate on feelings of causing anguish or acting against my beliefs. I've been working a lot on cutting our rumination and you're right it is tough. But this is helping me to get there. God bless you!
Please read. Unfortunately there are not many mental health professionals out there who understands OCD well enough. It has taken lot of time and efforts for me to just identify my compulsions. I wish there was more clarity earlier. Rumimating is one of the most subtle or hidden compulsion in OCD. Anyways atleast I know now.
I don't have OCD (that I'm aware of) but I have been ruminating about the death of my pet for quite some time now. It interferes with me being able to enjoy the time I still have with him and keeps me extremely unproductive at work and I've been feeling depressed about it the last few days. Thank you for the words of encouragement.
I’ve been ruminating on things that stops me in my tracks and makes me question what I’m doing, everything I want to do something simple or something enjoyable, past thoughts make me unable to fully focus on the activity, I’m still trying to lessen the time I want to ruminate even if it’s really hard. Thank you for this video, I watched this because I’ve watched other videos about rumination, and I wanted to clarify if the tactics to stop ruminating worlds.
I have done alot of reading on this and I also heard that the more you try to fight something like this the more it has a hold of you, so I would just accept I was doing it and let it be hoping it would work its way out, but it never does. I am glad to see this tactic explained so clearly and I am certainly going to give this a go! Thank you for the video.
Yeah I can relate to that also. I would let rumination take it's time because I thought fighting it would feed it. But this explanation has blown me away, never saw rumination as a compulsion. But it's clear now. I'm using this technique with mindfulness and it is really effective. Thanks for the video
More tips. If you caught yourself ruminating . Dont judge yourself that you you were ruminating . But just accept that you did ruminate and focus in present moment 😅
Hey Dave, thanks for the video. You give me hope man. I’ve been struggling with HOCD for like 3 months now. After watching countless videos on it I found this video and it really resonated with me. I’m going to work on not ruminating until it becomes natural. Thanks again.
What’s scary about this is there are so many angles too look at and it messes with my head big time. I also haven’t been formally diagnosed with HOCD so that stresses me out. Deep down I know I have it though. Is their any other advice you could give me Dave?
@@timmy8211 I dont want to reassure or be reassured but you sound exactly like me. I've also never been diagnosed and I've had this for like 10 years, hocd I mean. I'll have long good periods with periods where it feels like it all came true. Right now I'm in my worst period and I dont know what to do with myself most of time. Constantly ruminating. And yes, all angles. Hope your doing well for yourself.
Very useful video. One suggestion to reduce over-thinking is to be careful what you feed your mind. Avoid comparing yourself with others, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 10-15-20 minutes or more. You can sit or lay down on the bed--eyes closed--No deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. With practice the mind will relax. Keep a reminder to observe your breath sensations throughout the day and night anywhere -anytime-- before sleep, at work, taking a walk, at home, when travelling etc with eyes open or closed. Like me make breath observing a lifetime habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.
I have social anxiety disorder and ruminating is really difficult to get a handle on, but I'd imagine it's even more difficult for someone with a disorder that's all about compulsion! Practice makes perfect though. Best of luck to everyone 😉
Been ruminating many years. Most of the time it's a positive reflective thought process which compares how thought a situation was going to go, to what actually it went. Like at work with different tasks. So I would be able to plan those tasks better and more accurate next time. The problem I experience is when I ruminate during work about something that was unplanned and not easily explained, with no obvious solution. That rumination distracts me from performing next task without a mistake. Which sends my rumination in with a negative critic in my head. It snowballs on me to the point of over thinking so bad that I cross into irrational thinking with black or white thinking. All good or all bad. And I make an even bigger mistake. These aren't very often, but to often that I feel I really must address it.
Hi Dave I'm new to your channel, I have mental illness and I have suffered from a very young age. I have OCD in many forms ever since childhood and anxiety also in many forms. I wasn't happy as a child and I'm 39 now and I can honestly say that I don't believe that I have ever really felt true happiness and contentment ever. I was abused as a child in many ways, my mother would call me a c@#t, p@#ck all the time with so much anger directed towards me, my mother would go through my stuff all the time searching for things to use against me. My father was very dark and narcissistic and violent towards me. I used drugs and alcohol and self harm from a young age. I'm suffering every day and I'm broken and I just want this to stop I'm sick of it.
Meditation will help. Once the contracted sense of a "me and my unhappy story" begins to loosen, one will start to glimpse a space of awareness that is much more peaceful. Vipassana retreat is available for free (by donation) but it's an intense 10 day retreat. Any basic Buddhist meditation class would be good.
@@seanmclaren8829 it is necessary to speak about trauma..this "me" is a story, and story has hidden emotions, that needs to be adresed in therapy..meditation can be dangerous sometimes
In my experience it's a dysfunctional escape from deeply felt, somatic, emotional discomfort. This prevented spiritual awakening many times as the intense awareness would immediately make the somatoemotional pain apparent. The only thing that's worked is moving attention to the body sensation with mindfulness and not going into thought and labeling.
I never knew about this but hearing him talk about what it is, it made me think "I didn't this with a fear I had" but I'm happy to say I found a way to get over the fear and now I'm not scared at all by the thing
I'm ruminating about a choice that I took even if in that moment I had a very bad feeling about it. And indeed that choice ruin my life I was almost cure from dpdr and he come back like never before .This happened last year and now I ruminating about why I did in this way and I feel that I lost a lot of things by doing that and I can't believe that it's happening to me and now it's coming the funny part believe or not that true I dream in that day that this things gonna happen but when I wake up in that day I didn't give him any importance. Now I regret it
For the longest time I've been completely unable to explain this to anyone. I didn't know any words for it. I have aspergers and some bad stuff happened I won't go into that here- Simply put I've been doing this any moment I'm not distracted perfectly. I do this for literally any topic (irregardless of if it's bad or not) and can go on for up to six hours. However at any point in this my brain could switch topic and I could go on with that for the same amount of time. Being stuck in my mind entirely paralyzes my body and it's become so severe that It even stops me from being able to will myself to do common things like attend school. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to. It's scary. Heck I'm doing it over some of the things I've typed in this comment. It's torture at times because I want to move and do other things but I can't. I just end up repeating to myself about how much I want to not repeat to myself and that doesn't get me anywhere. I seriously don't know anymore.
i get it worse at night trying to sleep but far less if i try to sleep in the morning i work best at night shift...iv just gone back to a permanent nights shift and i am much better off
I've been trying to figure out if I did something wrong and going through the past 30 years. I keep remembering things that cause me stress still haven't figure out what I'm actually trying to figure out. It's been about 5 weeks now
The technique all makes total sense, so thank you so much for bringing it to my attention. However, I'm still struggling with the first part, which is giving myself permission to stop ruminating. My OCD focuses on real events from my past and the guilt/shame is really hard to get over. It feels like I don't deserve to just ignore the thoughts. Because I'm ruminating on real mistakes/transgressions from my past, simply ignoring the significance of them feels like avoiding responsibility for my actions. Any advice?
@@niallkquinn4458 what did you do? Please help me I have moved on on my ruminations yesterday but now I've been ruminating about other nonsensical things it's draining me
Very helpfull video thanks. I was told by my psychiatrist that my OCD is so severe that only medication helps me. I get 250mg sertraline everyday last 4 years but with little effect. sometimes my Ruminating lasting up to 1 year. triggered by narcissistic toxic people who verbally attack me with condescending words. It can also be triggered online in a chat people who write something false about me unfair toxic poeple. Are there others with the same trigger as me? from toxic narcissistic evil people ?
Narcissistic abuse is something I have dealt with. I know it caused me trauma. This is when my ruminating started. I feel stuck in a dysfunctional relationship that is better now but was bad before. I had all kinds of red flags that I ignored. I still have the feeling of wanting to leave but feel I do not have the strength or the ability to leave, So I ruminate a lot on why didn't I leave when I noticed the red flags, or when I was stronger. It's like my heart and logical brain are in conflict. I also think part of it is codependency. When you put other people's before your own. You don't want to hurt someone so you sacrifice your own feelings instead.
This helped reduce and remove it for me: First of all realise your morality and put it in a universal context if the rumination is something minor like me - this should help reduce the importance. Second, nothing ever will be perfect. Stop trying to correct something that can't be changed or overthink about future scenario's because again nothing will ever be 100% perfect. Just say fuck it, as he says it's pointless and highly dysfunctional, you've got a lot of better things to do - distract yourself if you can through physical activity or socialising (I acknowledge it's hard in a pandemic which is why I struggled for a bit). However, do not waffle around this as this may lead to future rumination and congnitive exhaustion. As he says, catch the instance of rumination as quick as possible and try to focus on something else or if it's progressed think of nothing for as long as you can and repeat for a bit and after this reaffirm the idea that there's no point ruminating, it's cognitively exhausting and interrupts you like a bitch! Stop daydreaming about a what if or putting yourself in situations that are unhappy or have the potential to lead to an unhappy outcome (especially when your repeatedly put yourself in the same situation). The same would go for when you actually go to bed and dream. You've got to block it out even if it's tempting, I know it's hard but you've got to break the cycle. Be happy. Fake it till you make it I guess, although of course we all have bad days. Just try to make yourself happy, and stop been inpatient or noticing the bad things in life. You can either suffer in life through happiness or sadness, you got to move on however serious or irrelevant something is. A dopamine detox may help with this.
Why once I start thinking a thought I cannot stop? Then my brain goes to another thought and another. Its like my brain had to replace one thought with another to obsess over. And what can you do when things trigger thoughts, like say in a film a sex scene appears?
@@videoman191 You have absolutely no idea how much I'm suffering. It's crippling. I wouldn't wish it on anyone what I'm going through. When you keep reliving events that happened years ago as if they happened yesterday, believe me it's exhausting.
I have ruminating thoughts about dying. Particularly about my heart beating too fast, why is it beating too fast? When will it beat fast again? Am I going to die? This all started when I was sitting down relaxing and out of nowhere my heart went to 170bpm. I thought I was having a heart attack. I went to my cardiologist and I later found out I have what’s called SVT. (Supraventricular tachycardia) I am now deathly afraid and hypersensitive to my heart beats. I have tried medication, but hasn’t really helped with my SVT episodes and I can have a heart ablation but not sure about that. In the mean time I’m ruminating about if I will have another SVT episode? When will it happen? Am I having one now? Ughhhhhhh! I’m going crazy! I absolutely loved working out and since the diagnosis I have stopped because I’m scared to feel my heart race even though I know it’s because I’m working out. It just feels weird now. Can anyone help me with my situation? 🙏🏽
Yes I have that as well. Used to have then it moved to another body sensation. I have been diagnosed with OCD and that particular OCD is called sensorimotor. You are hyper aware of body sensations and then make catastrophic scenarios out of it. You need to cut compulsions such as ruminating. I advise you to see a therapist to talk about eventual OCD, you can get better :) CBT therapy is amazing and exposure of course! Meanwhile indeed breathing exercice could be very good and meditation
Hello Dave. Thank u for such interest in this disease. My questions are why do these intrusive come as such. I wish I could just tell myself to stop all these ideas but this is what's difficult. I always tend to sabotage myself to inflict more país as if I'd thought that for some reason I deserved it!
Horacio, everyone gets intrusive thoughts ftom time to time. What's different with OCD sufferers is they pay attention to them and thrn go on to do compulsions. Doing compulsions causes more intrusive thoughts. Want less intrusive thoughts? Stop your compulsions.
Question, i suffer with the hocd. You mentioned, i can deal with it most of the time. The biggest problem i have is when someone either overtly or subtly suggests i am a homosexual, that sends me off the deep end. And then it spirals downward.
What works for me is just agreeing with the thought. Sure at first I get super freaked out but then eventually my brain gets bored of me agreeing and moves on
Thank you very much! I always thought rumination is unstoppable, and still think so, at least in my case. What if I ruminate about my severe depression, severe anxiety and panic attacks and OCD? It tires my mind really.
Can you please help me? I'm insecure about my sleep since I have delayed sleep phase disorder and loud neighbors so I don't sleep well. I didn't mind my psychiatrist knowing this because she's there to give me medication, but then when she saw my anxiety spike due to a case worker, she told everyone about my sleep problems. Now I have insomnia and it's due to the environment and ruminating and catastraphizing. I really want to find a solution. It's like an addiction. Sighting forms for confidentiality, leaving the facility for a clean slate, etc. All backfire cause none of the answers satisfy me and if I leave kaiser I can't come back. But kaiser is the only one that refers me to Magellan healthcare for OCD therapists.
Hello sir I dont know what kind of mental promblem i have iam ruminating all the time And surprisingly i've been worrying that i am gay or sth ,i've fearing about it for a while i hope you will reply
So I used this technique a few times in my heavy ruminating periods. Eventually it Will always work after a few days of practicing. But I always keep coming back to ruminating again after like 2 months or so and have to do the whole cicle over... Is there something I can do about that and why is this? Keep up the good work. Love x
Half the battle is noticing that you’re even ruminating in the first place. It’s so automatic that one could think they’re just pondering over things, as in just plain old thinking. Apply everything that’s presented in this video except the stop part. I suspect, what you do between recognising you’re ruminating, and letting go by getting on with whatever it is you’re doing, is key. I don’t believe saying stop, once you’ve recognised you’re ruminating helps. That’s tagging on to the compulsion of ruminating. This might be because saying stop, is a form of avoidance, of the unwanted ruminating, which of course is compulsive behaviour in itself. Just as important though, is not becoming frustrated as to why your ruminating isn’t ceasing after such effort. That’s engaging with the unwanted ruminating (compulsive behaviour) and feeding OCD as well. Any form of scanning to see if you’re still ruminating, or wishing and asking why it’s still around given all the hard work you’ve done, is compulsive behaviour by engaging. The loop is tricky to break. Looking for perfection by thinking you’ve done everything properly and not knowing why you’re still ruminating is ruminating. I haven’t practiced dealing with ruminating as much as I could have after all these years, but my OCD and its principal obsessions are just about non existent. It’s a vey shifty condition and can take years to learn how to manage it well. Good luck, you can do this!
What is the relationship between your prefrontal cortex going off line and rumination. My brain has been stuck in irrational thinking and rumination for a while. I feel stuck in a groove.
I feel like a hamster on a wheel! What if this, what if that? Drains me every day. I’ve health anxiety and I keep thinking about my heart. Even when I think I’m not thinking about it I am!
