I’m literally going through this. While it’s not 100% my fault. I’m literally falling apart rn. I love this girl so much but I was in the military (yes I know.) and was dealing with a lot of outside factors and lost myself. In that time she became checked out. I’m gonna give this a try. I’m in therapy rn for my anger and hopefully this works. I have until June to really figure this out. Wish me luck boys
Good luck man. I’m in the same boat. I ruined my 21 year marriage. I’m glad she left in a way I needed to hit rock bottom. Well I have and I think there might be a sliver of hope. 🙏. She’s the only woman I’ll ever love
I want my best friend back. I can’t believe she’s leaving and it’s all my fault. I neglected my best friend in this life and I feel like I lost myself in the process. I want my soulmate back.
Kevin one day when you need this again just remember never give up she saved us . Us i mean you she saved you have you children no matter what never loose it we owe her love you tawny
Thank you for this video. I pray that everyone who watches this video works on their “pies”. I pray that we all reconnect with our spouses and that we have the happiness most successful marriages. I pray that we all become someone who our spouses will brag about to everyone and that we have the most beautiful love stories with our other half that was ever written; inshallah Ameen 🙏🏾
Hi Nathan, thank you! I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, any one going through this, I too know the immense pain, I hope all the best to you each and every one of you !
Great advice! I actually came to the PIES conclusion on my own. I thought how can I make myself more attractive to my wife and physically I thought to build my upper body as I'm lacking significantly, clean up my language and stop doing things like beating a dead horse, work on my emotions by acting more like an independent man, and get closer to God. You just voiced my thoughts and validated what I believe I should be doing. My wife hasn't left me but did tell me that if I am not happy with a series and emotionless marriage then we can divorce if that would make me happier. I'm hurting bad! But your advice is the only choice I see that has any chance of working.
Awesome! I love the line: "People don't leave what they have unless they think what they're going to is better." PIES will make me the better choice...for my WS...or someone else.
Thanks for the comment! We always advise you work on your PIES for yourself first and foremost. A secondary bonus is that your spouse will find you more attractive because you are the best version of yourself. But work on yourself for YOU! 😊
You shouldn't have to 'win' her back. If you have to earn that then you were always going to lose. It's not a game. It's supposed to be two people who work together on an equal playing field. Once one person decides they need to be 'won,' then it's over. Divorce is a selfish choice. There's no way around that. If you are unhappy then work on it. You don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I agree with you. Women are told to leave their lovers when things get tough instead of working on it. Men are vilified amd it's considered ok to just abandon them.
Not relly the whole story. Your partner is not leaving you from day today. This process takes long time. And it's not like they didn't try to work on it, didn't give you the signs etc. If you are with someone but you feel słońca and lonely, how much you can take?
When I discovered my wife’s affair I started following marriage helper - I think it’s what helped explained to me what to do and helped two years of hope… then I stopped the principles and succumbed to anger and imploded all the positive progress I made..I have to say she was abisive and terrible the entire time but I do regret getting angry at the end and acting tough like she oawed me apologies as she didn’t ever apologize
So sorry to hear you have been going through this friend! We are glad the things we have teach helped, but we can't control other people. Sometimes you can do everything right and your spouse will still choose to do whatever they want, even if it hurts you. And sometimes and explosion of anger can make things worse. We still recommend to just start where you left off and keep doing the next right thing! That's all you can do! Also, consider meeting with one of our coaches who can give you 1 on 1 guidance! marriagehelper.com/coaching/
Just found this video while currently going through a trial separation that is likely heading for divorce. I can guarantee, from my personal experience, that pleading and begging doesn't work. To be honest though, even if I had seen this video I probably would have made the same mistakes. With hindsight I can see these actions were wrong and I can also see the correct way forward is exactly what this video says. Thank you for the honesty.
Bro called me out on all the “Don’t Dos” I messed up my relationship yrs ago. I tried to use finances, victim, snooping everything he named to control the situation. And she seen it coming and only made matters worse. We still love together but are almost living desperate lives. I’ve been so caught up on trying to make it right, I’ve lost touch with myself. PIES IT IS. If she don’t want me after this at least I’ll be bk in touch with me
Men my wife just left me because i had been lying most of our relationship butbi love this girlll sooooo muchhhhhh im going crazy right now i lost myself
I’ve messed up our relationship and she has told me to stop with doing the bad things that I’m doing and for some reason it’s just hard for me to do that! Today she told me that she wants to move on and I did beg her and she said she would think about it that it’s not a yes ! But I’m just going to work on myself for myself and hopefully she’ll notice that and be willing to start all over with me
My wife moved out purely out of spite - to teach me a lesson on how it will be like to live without her. Surely this changes everything. While she is away, why should I be responsible for her finances? Cellphone, accounts, etc
How can I get into contact with your team? I would like to explain my situation so you can have a full view and hopefully help me better on this tough journey
Jordan on your team was helping me… then he sent something for me to read. Which I read and I didn’t see how it was anything like my wife and I.. I told him such, he then said he had nothing else for me.
I wish I want to watch this video a couple weeks ago. We still currently live together by separate in the house. And when she gets off work she doesn't want to come home. Probably because she's already moved on emotionally and I haven't and it's painful.
My wife, out of the blue, said she's 'not in love anymore.' After watching this I realized that when she first told me that a few months ago, I exhibited all of these signs - pleading, begging, trying to understand ... makes me wonder what it would have been like if I simply said "oh? sorry to hear that" and just moved on with life. I'm working on myself now to see if she will suddenly snap out of it. But it's so ridiculously difficult to go through something like this when you have a partner who swore they'd never be the one to hurt you and that they'd always be there for you. Her current statement: "I will still be there for you - i will always love you I'm just not in love with you, we've grown apart." Makes no sense. And it was completely out of the blue which is even more a snap/slap into reality. Outside of this video, are there any other suggestions?
IF SHE LEAVES YOU !!! LET HER GO !! YOU WILL SAVE YOURSELF ALOT OF PAIN !! TAKING HER BACK WILL LOWER YOUR SELF WORTH AND YOU WILL REGRET IT FOR THE REMAINDER OF YOUR LIFE !!
@@tyroncline5978 just depends if u love her and if she has been faithful to you , but if she has not been faithful after you were kicked out then let her go !!
Also want to add that no matter how long of a relationship you have and how cool it is and how good it is externally if you are not 100% connected spiritually it will end up failing
I’m going through same thing right now. My wife had the surgery, lost 175lbs, looks amazing then began a midlife crisis and began drinking and partying every night at 45 and she now has left me and said she’s no longer in love with me. We get along great at moment but I’m really struggling with the future of our marriage. Oh and she did admit to cheating on me in the last year multiple times. We been married 25 years, we’re high school sweet hearts. The entire thing sucks and is emotionally exhausting
Ehhhh.... she wants to go. She can go. Way I see it, I get up day in day out to do whatever I need to take care of her. That's not good enough, I'm not holding her there. I'll find someone else who appreciates it. If its affair related, I'm making it public. Period. It has nothing to do with wanting her back, keeping her there, nor guilt. Id want her gone. I'm not letting her control the narrative of why we split would be it, to our families, kids, and court. Especially necessary in the court system that is going to rake me over the coals as a man. While it may be no fault in most cases at least I can get a sliver of sympathy from the court and maybe they will use a more gentle rake to drag me into the coals.
Unconciensly I did all three “not do” things.. Now she is gone as she kept on lying and deceiving her infidelity with an ex. And by snooping I discovered everything that she was trying to hide.
Mine started talking to her high school sweetheart that they dated for many years on Facebook she did not cheat on me physically but emotionally yes and she has moved out because she can feel herself distancing me and she tells me that she still has feelings for this guy and she can't be with me her husband of 12 years because she still has these feelings for this guy and she's not even talking to this guy although everything isn't all her fault I played my part in this too I ignored her a lot I'm a very busy man but it doesn't excuse any actions I just want my wife back I just want my best friend back. Most guys would tell me that I need my head examined for even wanting her back but I love this woman we have children together
The best thing you can do is contact us! We can connect you to the best resource for your situation. It's a free call and takes less than 10 minutes. Please consider reaching out to use at 1 866 903 0990!
First. Think hard and long about what kind of relationship you are in. A marriage where you aren't valued or respected is not one you should try to win back.
Believe me, if someone wants a divorce, then divorce. No one lives happy with the other ever again if you “work things out”. You will only wind up divorced eventually.
But also keep in mind, it's one thing for her to leave, it's another thing how she does it, she had me repair all the things on the home when she had already filed for divorce and I had no idea she did she made me trade my car in thinking that we were getting a new car together, she didn't tell me how my in-laws had bought us a cruise ticket to go on a vacation she went without me, she didn't show me any signs that she wanted a divorce or even had filed for divorce and it went all along without me I never was served she got granted everything the house the custody the most the assets and now I'm living in my car and nowhere to go
This video may apply to orher couples who just recently separated, that can go back together again bit my situation is far more different. This video is not for me, not resonates with me..
I dont like the physical part. I am not in bad shape. But your wife married you for who and what you were at the time. Unless you gained 100lbs it should not matter
Maybe she kicked me out the house. Maybe being 100% honest isnt always the best option. I confessed to sleeping with her sister with not because I thought i was going to get caught but because i wanted to be honest. Now she told me to leave and filed for divorce. 🤦♂️ never tell the truth
Hey Mike! We actually have a course that teaches you how to increase intellectual attraction in yourself and for your marriage! You can find more info here: marriagehelper.com/art-of-attraction-toolkit/
Karma is coming for you boys - “pride comes before the fall”. It’s one thing to move on but with such vile associations towards a ex partner that YOU chose and LOVED at one point, is to disregard your hand in that relationship’s demise. I’m sorry your wives hurt you then but your attitudes are hurting you now. Release with love ❤️
If your wife is distancing from you and doesnt treat you with respect, most likely she had disconnected herself from you and cheated on you. Just dump her. Even there is a reconcialation, she wouldnt treat you with all her heart and soul. So its just not worth it.
