I think the advice "when you walk into a room, you only see things you're interested in" should actually be "you FIRST see things you're interested in". I, an avid reader, will probably notice a bookshelf first, then a boyband poster. Viceversa, a boyband fan will notice the poster first, then the bookshelf. It might be a more accurate twist that shows the POV character's personality and interests, without making it seem like they have tunnel vision. I mean, I'm no boyband fan, but a giant poster would be pretty hard to miss.
You're missing the point. A poster that means nothing to you, may "shock" you in a certain situation, because it represents everything that is unknown to you and thus speaks about you.
Any time I write "flower" I remember "specificity" and either pick a flower or know i'm going to need to find a concrete type of flower later. That goes for other cases too. You conditioned me, but I'm thankful.
But if the character is a typical modern Western urban youth, like me, he or she probably won't know the names of most flowers. So it would be more truthful to say 'small blue flower' or something like that. Specificity is fine, but details need to be organic to the character, not just picked at random from some internet list.
@@billyalarie929 I guess I only mention flowers if: my character likes pretty things in general, then I'd probably write it to be more about the appearance of the flower/smell, like mentioned by Tommorow. If my character's parents etc. knew at least a few flowers that they had at home for exampe or if they're the curious type, then I'd write the name too. I would also write exact names if my character's the sofisticated kind, or knows a lot, then I would make it more about the meaning of the flower, how they remember sth about that flower and use it to imply things or fit the mood.
As a 17 year old dude who has no one irl to talk about any of this stuff with, these videos have been a godsend. They've genuinely helped me hone my craft, and especially helped me with fine tuning my prose. I'd already subconsciously figured out a lot of stuff, but having a name for it helps tremendously.
@@nameless-ck3du Man, coming back to this was such a throwback. The person initially who made this comment is almost alien to the one typing now. I wish to tell you the things I wish I had known, the lessons I had to learn on my own. Keep writing and you will find yourself in the ink on a page, words on a screen. Share your work, find others to indulge in your passion with. Your school most likely has a literature club, you should join it! If it doesn't, check your local library and there will almost definitely be one. Remember that art dies in search of itself; write to express, not impress. Quality is mined and refined, not given down from the heavens perfectly premade. Edit your own work, especially after you have gained distance from it. Challenge yourself, your best work will come from working under restrictions. Eloquence serves expression, big words need to have a reason to be used. "Anguish" has a distinct meaning from "torment", despite being synonyms. Anguish is mental suffering, torment is severe, directed harm. Both are powerful words that are synonyms to "pain", but they are distinct in their own right. Those big, powerful words allow you greater specificity in expressing exactly what you want. Eloquence never comes at the cost of brevity. Condense your sentences into the shortest possible form without losing any meaning. For example "I really liked how he spoke" can become "I adored his cadence". Cadence is specific and evocative, it allows the reader to better understand that it was the manner and pace at which he said things that you liked. Adored emcapsualtes "really liked" into less words, letters, and syllables while also showing that it wasn't just that you liked it, there was an element of reverence, you looked up to his cadence rather than just had affection for it. I hope this is easy to understand, I am currently very sleep deprived, but this comment brought back a lot of memories that made me think what the young adult who made this comment almost two years ago needed to hear most in that time.
Yes! More prose-y writing rocks! I dislike when writing is described as "purple" when it is just a notch above simplistic. Thanks for the definition of purple prose: using convoluted language just for the sake of being complex.
Hi everyone! I'm seeing a lot of comments about the example I chose for my point on descriptions being insightful & surprising, the line from K-Ming Chang's story "Baba" that describes a city as 'sizzling out in my mouth like a match.' To me, this is an original, sensory, and surprising metaphor, that engages the senses and feels truthful and original, even though yes, it is still abstract in its meaning. It's not conveying a concrete quality about the city, but rather, the sensory experience of being there for the narrator. I'm sorry my phrasing made it seem like an equivalent to a concrete description of what the city looks like, when rather, it's a description of the narrator's physical experience of being there and her relationship to the place. This line was the first line that came to mind when I thought of lines that are surprising and insightful, because that was my first reaction when I read it. I'm very sorry that I chose a line that is causing so much confusion. K-Ming Chang is one of my favourite writers, but she is also young, new in her career, and very talented, and I feel awful that I may have used a line of her work in a way that is now causing some pretty mean comments about the excerpt. I chose all the examples in this video because I wanted to celebrate the authors, and because I think the works in question are skillfully written, but now I feel awful that the opposite seems to be happening regarding one of the pieces. I wish I had chosen a different example. The line in question makes sense to me. It's abstract, but to me it captures a physical sensation/experience that feels accurate and interesting, which was the point I was trying to convey about truthfulness and surprising writing. It's not concrete, but it presents something abstract in a sensory way which to me is very powerful, but I understand that it's hard to explain and might not land with everyone. Now I can see that this line doesn't resonate with a lot of people the way it resonated with me. I really just wanted to share a line that is, to me, surprising and original, but the nature of trying to explain 'truthfulness' as a concept is that inherently, it won't feel truthful to everyone, and I'm sorry for choosing an example that has proven to be pretty inaccessible to a lot of people. However, it hurts to see hate towards the author, when it's my mistake for choosing a line that was unclear when explained out of context, not K-Ming Chang's fault for writing the line.
The issue isn't even about it not being concrete, even as an abstract description it isn't exactly the word or description I would use for a city. "SIzzling out in my Mouth" How does this convey a city feel? Is the city polluted? The issue is what sensory is going with what sensory. I don't hate the author. I just cannot connect to the metaphor, and that might simply be that people with Autism struggle with metaphors and abstract thinking. But even then. I understand abstract imagery like "Skylines with trapped starlight in every window." to describe a Neon City, it gives the impression of both lights on inside the buildings and light reflecting on the windows. I feel like this goes far beyond abstract. Sizzling, is it summer? Like I understand it is an example of abstract writing, but I always feel abstract metaphors should enhance previous known information that was concrete. If you have no concrete information surrounding an abstract metaphor like this then it falls flat, I think this goes into the concept of specificity and being direct first, then exploring an abstract thing to support those concrete things. I have spent my waking moment trying to understand this metaphor.
I wouldn’t waste your time or your energy defending your choice. You’re overall effort to help those of us watching your videos on learning how to be a better writer, have not gone unnoticed. They’re appreciated and welcomed. While I’m here, I really enjoyed your short story in the Puritan about the girl falling into the ocean. Forgot the title. I’m not good at giving reviews but I was impressed by its economy and your overall rich prose. Great job!
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that this description is actually the perfect pick for this video, because of how malleable this topic, and any advice that could be applied to it, actually is. For instants, I completely understood where this description was going, even though it wasn’t the most concrete thing in the world. It actually stresses me out to see descriptions that are more concrete than base, because I feel an expectation to know what every detail picked actually means, and I just don’t know that much about buildings or landscape or anything like that. So to give it kind of ephemeral language like this, related to something that I can understand a little bit better, like the sensation of something abrasive on my tongue, tells me so much more about what I’m supposed to take away about the city than actual concrete descriptions, if I don’t know what certain words relating to shape or texture are trying to get me to see. Again, as is ALWAYS the case, your example gave me a sense of permission, and relief.
I'm sorry people are literally being hateful towards you and the author. No one should be that way. You're not saying they have to like the example piece, and there's nothing forcing them to. I didn't particularly care for because I have a question on the meaning of 'sizzle-out.' But there's no reason to be hateful about the whole thing. You're trying to teach and we're here to learn. If you're teaching and examples don't resonate then it's not the end of the world. Sorry you had to deal with that. Thank you for all your hard work and insight Shaelin. My question is, what does she mean by '...sizzles out (a match)...' does that mean the match was out in her mouth and now has left a bad taste. Or that their month feels like the head of a match after it's been blown out or smothered and is still chared and smoking? I guess I just won't use 'sizzle-out' even those the imagery of the metaphors very powerful. I mean matches, burning and the mouth are all very aesthetic and powerful ingredients to have within a sentence that should logically conclude into a powerful metaphor.
people started complimenting my imagery and writing improvements so I got too nervous to write the next chapter because I feared my imagery would down grade so this is good for me thank you
I always love writers who can describe something in the simplest, plainest words and still make you look at it in a completely new way; making it feel much deeper and impactful than it looks on the page. This is why I was so impressed with Paulo Coelho (writer of The Alchemist). He always describes deep, spiritual concepts or experiences so simplistically, which actually shows that he knows what he's talking about more than if he'd use complex jargon.
Idk when it happened, but these videos shifted from watching a peer figure things out to watching a Real Writer TM explain their craft. Its weird to have the content be this high quality--like she is going to teach writing professionally, and I feel like that's something you can sense now, watching this. These last few videos have been so good I'm legitimately a little emotional abt it lmao. Anyway, I've been watching since highschool and I just finished my last semester of graduate school today--can't wait for the next video!
I'm finding my preferences as I discover my own style as a writer. I tend to minimally describe scenery and focus more on dialogue, body language, and character interiority. Ironically, some beta readers still dislike specificity I include, preferring more plot than setting. I'm reading City of Bones right now and cringing at the descriptions. I feel like too many metaphors make my brain stumble and take me out of the story. And the style of prose ought to shift within each book. In action scenes, I focus on strong, economical, short prose. But if I'm talking about a romantic stroll on a beautiful spring day or the wonder of a character discovering how to use their powers, I'm taking my time to express it and wax poetic. And there's no perfect book for every reader. Some people want to spend 3 pages taking in a scene--able to smell the fresh-cut grass, hear the call of a swallowtail from an ash tree rustling in a slight breeze, watch a butterfly flap it's way through the sky and land on a dandelion, all while sitting on a homemade denim quilt and tasting an ever-so-perfectly sweet peach, feeling the juice dribble down your chin, reminding you of the summers you spent with Grandma Walters in North Dakota as a child. Other readers want: the next day, they went to the park for a picnic.
I finished History of Wolves and loved it. Also I have become enlightened to the existence of the _em dash_ and am now addicted to it. I’m having to stop myself from overusing it lol
I’ve noticed in my writing tastes as I’ve gotten older that I value aptly done description more. I love it when a character or a setting is described in such a way that it truly sticks with me. And I try to replicate that in my writing, but it ends up falling flat. Thanks for this video!
This was a FANTASTIC video. Thank you so much. I had a fiction writing professor who basically just stressed “concrete, sensory detail” over and over, but never got into the nuances you covered here. Thank you again. I think another thing to think about is how much FUN getting specific can be! In that same fiction writing class, I was writing a character's drive home, and at first he was just in a car. But then I realized, “Well, wait. He’s not the sorta guy who would’ve bought a car recently, and even when he bought one in his younger days, he wouldn’t have prioritized coolness.” So then I got to research lame cars from twenty years ago, and discovered something called a Smart Fortwo, which was not only a fun process, but it also provided a specific detail that ALSO said something about my character! It was a really great moment!
I never comment on videos but I really wanted to here, because they're incredible. Super informative, to the point, well structured and very clear. Also, way beyond 'generic' advice. I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH, every single one of your videos have been so helpful to me
Hey Shaelin. I'm a 24-year-old journalist from a small city in Ontario. I've been writing for about 10 years as well and I have been trying to fulfill my dream of crafting a novel as of late. Your videos are so helpful. I enjoy your work. I also randomly worked in Whistler, B.C. for a while and want to move back to the west coast.
Loved the example you read: it really helped to show me and other viewers how description is capable of movement. I’ve also discovered listening to audiobooks can do this, too - thanks for another great video!
Petition for Shaelin to start an online writing master class and give us homework! But really now, my writing improved tremendously after watching your videos!
17:00 imagine the one moment when the writer had the idea to write the second 'uh' in italics. And that uh really sounded italic. I just think it was a brilliant invention.
I think descriptions can be fancyful, rich and "decorative" without being purple prose. As long as not everything is described like that all the time, and as long as it doesn't become vague and so tick with similes that you almost don't get what it's saying anymore. XD Or it becomes a little silly (overly dramatic). Sometimes it's a fine line between a beautiful description and purple prose.
Shaelin, I love description and imagery. I often feel like description and language can flow into a story. Imagery is the magic of a story because it is a tool used to bring the character’s experiences to life. At times, I write description and vivid details without even realizing it. I love when description is simply integrated through the layers of a story. I love you
ngl Biting Board sounds metal af - I'd listen to a band with that name also never ever ever stop talking about specificity it's changing lives including mine you are doing god's work
Purple vs Descriptive is now a huge issue in writing groups and with critique partners. Usually, the people that call Descriptive prose purple are the ones that have an opposite style (as in basic and plain)
"Secret" descriptions blended into a scene are my favourite. Maybe try asking someone to read an excerpt of your text, then mark each sentence as Story or Description and see how deep they cut into your descriptions perceiving them as storytelling? If they manage to perfectly outline them - back to the drawing board.
Chengdu is capital of Sichuan province it is basically in central China and its know for it's spicy food and more than 3000 different dishes. It also has a vibrant work life balance. So this description of it is so on point it's amazing. Your videos are really well thought out and explained, I'm learning so much from you. Thank you.
Hey, Shaelin! I've recently discovered your videos, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate you taking the time to make them. I think you are an excellent teacher, and I'm pretty sure you're a genius. Thanks so much! :)
I am obsessed with description. My book - even at the beginning - has much more description than any other type of narration, not least because the plot is set in a very distant world, in the past. I enjoyed the video and most especially the topic "surprising and insightful".
Does anyone else do this: picture an idiom as literal before you write it, and wonder if you should use it? Someone dropped his eyes; a smile crept across her face; he heard footfalls; her expression fell; She flew to his side; etc. Some pretty cool visuals.
Wow... so much needed in my writing life. I especially like the idea of physical description, emotional/psychological description, and narrative description. That can bring so much depth to a piece of writing
In 2014 I took a creative writing class in college, and while I didn't feel like I gained much out of it, there is this one thing that sticks out to me still to this day. A girl in my class described something a "caffeinated indifference." I don't even know what she was describing, but that description is burned into my brain to the point that whenever I see her post on social media, I recall her reading her poem in class and saying that. It's so good.
Ugh finally! I always heard the phrase "purple prose" but for some reason whenever i looked it up to see exactly what it was, they only gave examples and basically just said "thats purple prose", leaving me sitting there like "okay but *how* is it purple prose? What makes this purple???" I don't know how this is the first time i saw the explanation be put like this but i am *so* grateful that i can go back in my writing looking for these things and actually know what to ask myself besides "is this purple"
Thank you for this! I've been working on editing a short story and I wrote down a lot of your tips. Also, The History of Wolves book looks interesting. I really appreciate this video!
I wish I could like this video a hundred times. I'm getting back into writing from a hiatus for work & school reasons, but listening to this makes me anticipate finishing and editing my novels in progress so much more!! I'm genuinely excited to take my writing to a new level and this type of content has been instrumental in priming my brain for the work in the next couple of months. Also, Shaelin--I love love LOVE when you use examples. The highlighted portions of the excerpts really clarified your points. Lastly, excited to try check History of Wolves and K-Ming Chang's Baba. Thank you!
Some extra points on clarity and specificity: - before you invent a word, always do a Google search and make sure it doesn't exist an means something else (for fantasy sci-fi). Example is Joe Abercrombie who constantly talks about "flatbows" in his series because "crossbows" sounded Christian to him. But "flatbows" actually exist and you don't use bolts for them or take long to load and a lot of fans were really confused. - genre and age group awareness. Which terms or images people understand differs a lot between genres. - sometimes, there is a tradeoff between the two. I'd rather write "bay gelding" than "horse" for specificity, but it's possible a certain audience won't know the words, right? - is my book supposed to be a gentle ride or something that readers want to put effort into? If second, I may include more obscure images or use words that people may want to look up. - clarity differs from person to person, so use beta readers and ask them for clarity. Your example about the "city that sizzles out like a match". Honestly, I have NO clue what image to take away from that. But you love it for its clarity. It's a personal thing, depending on age, Living situation, country,... E.g. in a book I recently read, people kept "sucking their teeth" all the time. I'm German and I was clueless until I googled and found out it's a US thing people do to signal disapproval. 😅 So, if you want to be very specific but suspect that it might not be clear, drop a few explanatory comments that do not feel like an infodump. E.g. I wanted a character to collect and use henbane as a painkiller but I can't expect people to know that it causes dry mouth and potentially severe Hallucinations because they probably didn't research plant-based painkillers in the middle ages. So I let him drop a comment how he hates not being in control and not knowing what's real but still takes the stuff when his pain becomes unbearable before I add a scene in which weird things happen to allert the reader that (parts of it) aren't real...
I feel like this is very adolescent writing but I find nature descriptions quite calming. Here’s my little description, lmk how to improve. At first glance it was perfect - too perfect. In the centre stood a proud evergreen; its limbs dancing in the light breeze, enticing its visitor to come a little closer. Blades of nature caress virgin skin, as a malevolent sun seems to beam down upon this tiny piece of Heaven. The leaves are painted an almost unnatural green and splayed open - an inviting hand quivering with anticipation. Yet despite its carefully crafted facade, the brambles lurking behind spoke of rot and disease.
I just came across your videos as I am trying to write my first book and I am in love! I've already learned so much from you and I have immensely more confidence in writing now, but if you don't mind me asking, what are your pronouns?
The wooden chair had been chipped. The paint worn off, scarred from the debris and rubble. Surviving the war had bent the legs, loosened the surviving screws. He wept. Palms sweaty from the sunny memories of his grandfather sitting on a squeaky chair, carving away the details of these mahogany legs.
This video is packed with extremely essential insights and advice! Thank you for putting those into words for us! It hits several writing issues on the nose and is very well put! Very edifying and much needed! I haven't seen many other videos on this topic address all the potential pitfalls of descriptions (and narration in general) in prose with such precise depth, clarity and perspicuity! ===============================================================================================================================================================
Sol Stein has a good way of looking at this. He calls it particularity. Good trick for characterization but also the concept works in description. Look up who Sol was and read his book on writing. The particulars of particularity are better explained by him.
The bad advice about not seeing things that aren't important to you, is bad, but it makes my think of a story an interior design once told. There was a stain on his front door that he meant to paint off, but ever got around to it and in time he stopped seeing the stain. He forgot about until a friend came to visit and asked why the stain was still there. I think that is one way to take the advice that makes since. A character won't describe something that's uninteresting and/or unimportant to them/the story.
“There’s something to be said about the fact that at some point a few white men started writing in a specific style and everyone was like ‘that’s the good way to write.’” PREACH.
Shaelin the cutie. Tnx for Shaelin your plecious tips. I like descriptions too. The editor of my book even called them "poetic". Seeking to promote my book "The Tartar", and your advice has helped a lot. Tnx.
Id say very flowery prose is good for characters that are that. Like theyre charming, old fashioned, perhaps a stereotypical dreamy vampire, a philosopher, a scientist that questions the world, but then it works. If its for a character thats straight forward and not artistic, its weird. ALso, depends where you use, which scene. Purple prose to me is scenery, can be cynical, usually indirect wandering of with thoughts. An action scene to me just wouldnt work with purple prose if it happens NOW and isnt a a storytelling from the character. Good example I found: Anne Rice, Interview With the Vampire. Really good at distinguishing when the vampire is storytelling or doing something, whether short bursts or longer movements etc.
It seems everyone struggles with being too convoluted and purple prosey - I in fact struggle with the opposite. I struggle with it in real life too. If I was to go visit the most beautiful rose garden and went back home to try and describe it to my friends - even though I can clearly see the picture in my mind, the best that will come out of my mouth is "The flowers were colorful and pretty". Even if I try to describe in detail I feel like it comes out all clunky and out of order (perhaps its because I'm autistic and have ADD? so my brain just operates differently?). The majority of my editing is fixing my description because it always initially comes out sounding like a five year old described it instead of a thirty year old. I have such clear pictures in my mind but something gets lost in translation when I try to put picture to words, in both real life and when I'm writing. I still havent been able to find solid advice on how to overcome this :/
she has published short stories (check her tumblr or her Instagram)! but i belive she currently doesn't have any published books, correct me if I'm wrong...
maybe something we can do to avoid a lack of clarity but who want to write poetically is state the object XYZ then use poetic language to describe it if it is important to the moment in our story?
I’m an aspiring writer and I’m starting college in the fall. Any suggestions on classes to take that will help improve my writing skills/the quality of my writing? (This question is for anyone in the comments who sees this. Let’s chat. :))
Describing things that are interesting to the character first, might be a thing though. Like, if someone enters a room, who is extremely interested in plants, they might notice if this room has any plants first. That said, the character wouldn't miss if the room was otherwise clogged with sport-stuff. But description-wise the sport things should probably be described last, or as an offhand remark if it's uninteresting or lacks any importance to the character. Also, if the character is uninterested, but is for one or another reason looking for something specific, they'd notice these things first, other things later. Unless the other things are too much "in your face" to avoid seeing. XD
"abstract qualities presented in a concrete way"..... my question has to do with this: the abstractness of the description, i would assume, affords the reader an opportunity to imagine what the phrase about the city, is saying about the city. how, then, are we to ensure that the message we want to convey actually comes across as what we mean about the place or object we're describing? if it's abstract, it's abstract: everyone is afforded their own imagination. a building, however, is a building. sure, "a building" is abstract in its way (there's no specificity ABOUT the building), but generally, you're expected to know what a building is. so then, what of the abstract quality, which might be presented in such a way that it has concrete language and all the rest? what if i have a vastly different picture in my head, as i'm writing it, from what my readers will get? what if it's, by and large, something that my readers, across the board, get a collective idea of, in terms of what i'm saying in a passage, but then that collective idea has little or nothing to do with what i actually meant by it? if that happens, have i messed up, because i didn't convey what was in my head?
7:20 Hey Shaelin, although I understand using the name of a song instead of the word "song" , I am wondering if that is acceptable when it comes to work that could be published down the line. I've been trying to avoid naming specifics in terms of things that could be copyrighted as I'm so unsure.
