How Your Trauma Explains Your Coping Mechanisms - Part 1 

💯. I was in therapy my therapist was dumb as f***. I had more awareness than she ever did. I probably helped her more than she helped me.

So far, Pastor-counselor Tim Fletcher has described in clarity. He truly has a gift from God to comprehend & communicate these things.

Same at 60 - Tim and many others are awake, aware, educated, and many times, have survived it. Thank God 🎉

Me too!

Same here. They’re not interested in the cure.

Haley Rose you are correct . I am and have been a social worker since 1984. I have worked in alternative schools , a prison , and a public high school . Back in the 80’s , this used to be the work we did with kids . Over time , the medical model absorbed services because hospitals have the best grant writers and lawyers to secure funding. The focus shifted from dealing with context and defense mechanisms to treating symptoms . Parents often prefer to blame their child’s “mental illness” rather than look at what happens in their family . That is why schools will never touch this - they will not want the threat of insulted parents suing . A clever counselor could pull off doing individual sessions and small groups , though.

This would save a lot of time and anger for a lot of individuals... Uff people just hate to talk hard topics...

Too late. !

Agree 100%! This, banking and budgeting in general, and oh I don’t know possibly taxes. 🤷‍♀️ Drives me crazy they do such a disservice by not preparing us for real world things. Banking is usually done in some way every single day.

Amen.

💟

Hope you continue to get better carry on

💞🙏💞

I know how you feel, seems like just getting a shower deserves a gold medal.

Prayers Yes. Devastating. All the loses. So sorry. Sending condolences and compassion.

Yes. Thank God for Pastor Tim. I too have benefitted greatly from his wisdom.

Yes, me too ! X

Generational curse 😥

No excuse

​@@ancaatanasiu1014 But now you watch Tim Fletcher. You got information. YOU can break the spell!!! Dare to life your live and be free and the real you. ❤

I don’t know if this is true or not.

Traditionally transmitted. Not inheritance.

Yes, so true. Anna is so cool. She and Tim put it together so well and understandable. They give us tools to work with so we can become who we were meant to be in a healthy way ❤❤❤ God bless you.

Isn’t The Crappy Childhood Fairy wonderful? I love her channel.

The Crappy Childhood Fairy is a mess. She'll help if you're early in healing. For those who are farther along in their journey, she's clearly a grifter and in need of deeper healing herself. Her tips are full of BS, rooted in AA. I quickly ignored her after watching a few videos.

I absolutely agree as a fellow sociology major. I think my CT birthed the interest in observing others, so it's been complex resolving how much of that is hypervigilance, how much is core personality and natural interest. Regardless, TIm's lectures in combination with that knowledge, training and theory in sociological frameworks has become an endless educational source to me in addressing my CT and my future.

When we have our own issues it pulls people to us with similar problems. Like attracts like.

So you must know my parents! 😂

Same.

Me too

Me too!!

Join the club.

Nadine H same here, fighting hard to overcome

This is me

Start watching Dr Gabor Mate! And research Psychedelics for mental health! So much research now being done As someone with c-ptsd , I can say mushrooms recently helped me and working with a shaman ! & neurofeedback!! This is how we change the Brain! Talk therapy DOESN'T HELP

This was/is me to. Whole life detailed at 37 ... Had no idea that most of it could be attributed to CPTSD

Josephine Brew amen!

I relate.. ruins everything- " Im not familiar to things going well..Have never learned that... sort of: it will get negative anyway, so lets just help it..

This is so me.

More and more common.

Self -awareness is a good thing .... where theres knowledge there is power -power to change , to grow. Life is hard when coming out of a childhood of trauma but with knowledge and the willingness to learn and change there is hope. Adult children of alcholics and dysfunctional families is a good place to get help. Life can become better ...one day at a time

@@mariebrett2179 knowledge is power I wish everyone got five years to work on their selves like I did but maybe without the prison.

I remember my dad yelling at me and when I told him I was scared he just said gooooood. There was nothing behind his eyes. It messed me up.

my mother had my sister and I and herself sleep in our clothes on many occasions. She knew she may have to go on the run in the middle of the night. it was terrifying once I was old enough to realize we were in danger.

I did too. When I got married it amazed my husband.

He’s linked adhd to be a symptom of cptsd. He mentions that amongst other “mental illnesses” in some of his other videos that they’re actually linked. It’s neural pathways you build as a child in efforts of self preservation/coping/dissociation

ALL of my ADHD symptoms are 100% aligned with CPTSD. I'm so torn on whether I have both or if everything is just from trauma.

Yep.

Dan malone that's what Bessel Van Der Kolk discovered.

Double empathy communication differences that cause communication breakdown between Neurotypical and Neurodivergent simply have two different ways of communicating. But it is in the Neurotypical world that labels Neurodivergent people's having the deficiency the inability to efficiently communicate effectively. The basis of the theory double empathy the mismatch between two people can lead to faulty communications. This disconnect can occur in many levels depending on the individual experiences or survival styles adapted in order to survive the environment growing up. A Neurotypical person may be able to navigate reasonably well in a variety of unsatisfactory environments just because they have mastered the communication tools that are required and accredited in the neurotypical educational systems to survive in a demanding environment. A neurodivergent person who struggles with communication skills because the way they are presented along with social emotional developmental skills, it would be like having both hands tied behind their back in a boxing match. Only because they are already at a disadvantage position in the neurotypical accredited educational system. This is likely to be exasperated through differences in language use and comprehension. The greater the divide the more difficult people have communicating. Setting the stage for a hypervigilance atmosphere creating a stress response to the neurodivergent person only because the criteria has been design by the minds of the neurotypical educational system, excluding the neurodivergent community the necessary tools needed in the educational system depriving them of critical communication tools. Basal cortisol elevation causes damage to the hippocampus and impairs hippocampus dependent learning and memory. Chronic high levels of cortisol causes functional atrophy of the hypothalamic pituitary adrenal axis the hippocampus and amygdala and the frontal lobe of the brain. So with all that bull shit said how is it that a person with a spectrum disorder going to communicate or execute his or her executive function to a higher functional ability in a world that has been designed for the neurotypical singular minded approach, not accounting for the neurodivergent communities learning differences. For me my learning difference became the lesser of the two disabilities, the one I was born with, the other being the environment that I was forced into, a hostile stressful environment. Unable to effectively integrate socially the ability to interact efficiently invited verbal, physical abuse, shaming, name-calling, bullied labeled as a retard creating a hypervigilance stressful environment that was so hostile I just shut down. When children miss these critical developmental markers at the sensory motor level, the physical foundation is not in place to support the emergence of their emotional and rational capacities, easily victimized, unable to effectively protect themselves, basically your fucked. Now as the mind continues developing basic developmental markers that were missed, being Connection, Attunement, Trust, Autonomy, Love and Sexuality, have been compromised altered. So when these developmental markers have been altered or missed as a child, the mind continues to develop only now in a altered survival style, fragmented from the original developmental markers. Now the neurodivergent that is already at a disadvantaged vulnerable stage, has now entered the twilight zone. Based on available resources, God's good grace, and a whole bunch of luck go forth my son and build your empire. At this point you have been hoodwinked in to believing the tools provided were top-notch or acceptable not knowing anything else. Basically set up to fail providing inferior tools. Ushering in the likelihood of physical and mental health issues. Setting the neurodivergent up for failure, creating the inability to adequately process information in stressful environments. Over time, that can cause hypervigilance stress related illnesses such as addictions. So like a circuit breaker that's been stressed one too many times as a result of inadequate tools to navigate a stressful world. Now the hyper-vigilance conditioned mind dominates emotional stability, causing hyperarousal a triggering condition, causing a fight, flight, freeze, fawn or highbred a combination of those categories as a result of mental abusive brainwashing techniques. Where was my parents, another story. Besides that what difference does it make. Those days are long gone. So back to cortisol. If your brain is being constantly triggered, resulting in a saturation of cortisol your pretty much doomed. So it wasn't the disability or learning difference I was born with. It was the environment the labeling that became the obstacle to overcome. The spiral of shame was learned early on by a brainwashing environment that is triggered by stress by not adequately processing real time information presented within a certain timeframe. That's the problem with hidden disabilities, there just that hidden, not necessarily by choice because you learned to mask because you were conditioned to feel ashamed for the way you were born. So because shame lives in darkness. The two interact with each other. So shame and it’s co-conspirators guilt, anxiety, fear, depression, they all feed on each other causing a spiral into hell. That was my experience in the so-called educational system. So as a result of that type of brainwashing on a daily basis for 12 years reduces neurodivergent peoples ability to think critically or independently. Setting a person up for exploitation throughout life. So in order to keep from being overwhelmed triggered. It requires a hypervigilance default. A required hyper vigilant analytical assessment of your environment is required, studying everyone and everything around me, mostly people on how they reacted. This allowed my scattered mind to bring into focus the missing pieces that provided better understanding focus, time to think a better understanding of my environment.. This requires shuting down masking, hyper focusing in a world of full color into a world of black and white. No longer a free autonomous human being. Human beings are born with essential adaptive abilities. The capacity to disconnect from painful internal and external experience. We are able to disconnect from experiences of pain and anxiety that accompany the lack of fulfillment of our primary needs. To the degree that any core need is chronically unfulfilled, children are faced with a crucial choice: adapt or perish. Conditioned to survive their environment, now a slave created by the single-minded Neurotypical educational system. There's a Million Spinoffs from that theory. I have first-hand experience I lived it. Just my opinion, life as a pack mule with blinders. But keep in mind if your intention is to deliberately confuse me through rhetorical rhetoric semantics for personal gain. I'm pretty much doomed. Only now through those types of experiences I have finally learned to walk away leaving no answer for my reaction. What was the question executive function. I have no idea what you talking about. Just kidding.

All of dad's children have one thing in common. Executive brain disorganization. Executive function is a broad group of mental skills that enable people to complete tasks and interact with others. An executive function disorder can impair a person's ability to organize themselves and control their behavior. Then add dyslexia a language learning difference that requires a different approach to language-based learning systems. It may take someone a little longer to master those types of communication skills but overtime will improve. The younger the student is the better chances of mastery will come in communication skills. ADHD happens when children grow up in stressed environmental conditions. A wide variety of those types of environmental conditions can vary from mild to extreme. CPTSD is a result of developmental trauma and shock trauma over a period of time. Definitely has an adverse effect on a child's ability to transition through the different developmental stages that all children go through. Only because the developmental stages were never available forcing the child to adapt purely for survival, The child has no other alternative completely reliant on their caregivers forcing children into a survival style. That is uniquely developed for their particular environment. With all of these differences that I have just barely touched the tip of the iceberg on have disastrous effects on our children and our society. No wonder children who grow up in these types of environments struggle throughout life.

@@reginaarnone4845 Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. You must be the change you wish to see in the world. Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent. It is hard to imagine a more stupid or more dangerous way of making decisions than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong. Thomas Sowell

what in the world is a born again gnostic? I thought a gnostic was neutral. didn't believe or disbelieve.

@@mcadams518 that is an Agnostic. Adding an "A" to the front of a greek word is to negate something. Gnosis is knowledge. Gnostic and agnostic are not the same thing.

So much great information. Thanks

good God. I remember that. I finally got tired and said Frick it. i started being me and if someone got mad, oh well. crossed that bridge IF it came up. Stopped giving SO much of a damn.

How can you know me so well given that we have never met? You are not alone

Deez be meh faves also🤣 The fawn one though, faint remember that. Is that to kinda change you behavior to appease the aggressor? Like in an abusive type sich?

Right? I'm past the self-shaming stages, but I've moved on to honest self-awareness. Flattery doesn't help me. It only reinforces the idea that if they knew the truth, they'd be gone. So sick of being told that I'm wonderful and that everything I say about myself which is honest and just self-aware is wrong.

He's looking at the percentage of addicts who have Complex Trauma. Not the number of people who have Complex Trauma who become addicts. This makes a difference. It bugs me too to keep hearing it, but he may be speaking at a special meeting for Addict/Alcoholics. Can't know. But if you're not an addict, join the club. I'm not either. I don't have substance abuse problems. But I've got alot of the other stuff!

Look at his Bio, his expertise comes from working with addicts. I was an addict and struggled 17 years after I got sober when abused by a narcissist, but I had a hard time with people focusing on the relapse when I was trying to work on what caused it. This has helped me bridge the gap, because the focus is not really the addiction but why it exists or what causes it to be such an issue. What may help here is to realize that while addict has the drug or alcohol connotation, that is not ONLY what defines an addiction. You can be addicted to working out, to shopping, sex, hobbies, food, etc... Is it possible you have developed addictions(even if evolved over time from one to another, like working out changed to gardening) that you do not categorize as an addiction? Just an idea to look at, no harm or judgement intended.

exactly 💯 I'm not an addict either. how does this help?

You don’t have to be intravenous drug user to be addict. You could be addicted to work, exercise, negative thinking, complaining, food etc

Try to find an Adult children of alcholics and dysfunctional families (Acoa) group and see if you can relate to the problems they have ..

Try finding an ADULT children of alcholics and dysfunctional families group (Aca or Acoa) and see if you can relate.... they are vy helpful