HUH? 3 New Zealand Ways (We just CAN'T fathom) 

Now in my 60s and I can hear my mum in my head “Never turn up empty handed.” It’s a way of saying thank you for the invitation. It’s so ingrained I feel deeply uncomfortable turning up without a contribution. If we can’t contribute to the table then a gift for the host is non-negotiable. Koha, koha all the way.

The culture of taking a plate could possibly have some connection to the Maori tradition of the koha, where you take something to gift to the hosts.

In Canada we have statutory holidays that are different in each province. There are Federal holidays and provincial holidays. With respect to NZ, in it's formation there were provinces, so each had their own holiday to celebrate the birth of the province. When provincial governments (1875) were abolished they kept the holidays.

Regarding #3: This one's really interesting. So, I'm a 60-yer-old, Pakeha male who has lived in Christchurch all his life. So, a fairly standard Kiwi bloke. One thing that tends to be true of Kiwis is that we like a good deal of personal space. Witness our behaviour on a beach that's got a guy walking a dog off in the middle distance; we bugger off to the next beach that's properly deserted! I think that this carries over to the hugging thing; not until you're properly acquainted with and comfortable with the huggie! I also think that we tend to be a bit binary in the assessments we make of new people we meet. We kinda 'sound people out' until we can judge whether they're "alright" or not and, if they are, we'll do pretty much anything for them (including hugs). That's my thesis, anyway.

Bring a plate is usually reserved for when you are having a "get together" rather than inviting someone for a meal, at least in my experience. As you say, a bottle of wine maybe but when I invite someone for dinner, I don't expect them to bring half of it with them.

Regrading #1: How does it hit if you think of it as 'koha?' Thoughtful guests will bring things that you don't have to use immediately. A bag of crisps, a dip that you can just sling in the fridge for Tuesday night with just you two, a bottle of Scotch for the 'punishment drinks' cupboard. Yep, we do this, and , as a pretty regular host, I rather like that we do.

I have had Europeans bring an actual plate to a gathering, obviously lost in translation. But I think kiwis just love the concept of showing off their cooking skills and sharing recipes and just making a contribution. When I lived overseas, I just couldn't get used to not taking something to other people's houses, I always thought I was being rude. It is just such a community feel and often if you lived close to the host, you'd be there till the end of the night and help pack up, do the dishes and everyone would be sent home with leftovers.

Regarding the COVID factor and emotional health: as an introvert who has, in the past, had to endure far too much uninvited physical contact, I'm probably more relaxed and emotionally secure these days simply because I haven't had to a)tolerate what feels to me like waaaay to much physical contact, and b) I don't have to be on guard a vigilant for unwanted hug attacks, so much. The dark cloud of COVID has been an awful thing all over the world, but for me and most other introverts, it has had this silver lining.

I absolutely love this channel. I’m always looking out for a new vid. I’m a x pat kiwi living in Australia for 24 years. You guys always make me homesick. Thank you Liz and Bri ♥️

I love the Kiwi Tradition, bringing some food and join the party. Just appreciated it. I hope no one going to change the Kiwi things in Kiwi land.

Hi Liz, Hi Brian, it’s Mike and Jen here from the Kooteney mountains of British Columbia. First of all, I just want to let you know that we love you lots …. you’re quite a couple. We just came back from a tour through New Zealand, five weeks in the south island three in the north. We actually overnighted at he visitor Center up on Taranaki and went hiking on the mountain the next day. We absolutely love New Zealand. We had a camper van, yes we were one of the camper van people. It was Great!!! I’ve just retired Jen still working I often have my coffee and listen to you on RU-vid. I think the bring food comment is really funny. Here in the Kootenays we call it a potluck and everybody brings something and gets together. There could be 20 people or there could be just two couples. We love it. I do understand the joy of just going out to dinner at a friends place, maybe four of you and have everything made for you. I appreciate that and sometimes when we invite people over we say “no do not bring anything we’re doing it all.” There is no right way or wrong way. It’s just an.”Is”. Just signed up for your five day … keep being you. Love to both of you,Mike.

Once upon (a long time ago!!!) a time NZers didn’t really go out and our dinner options were extremely limited so we used to go ‘out’ to each others houses a lot… so we used to share the load of entertaining every week 👍🏼

With the 'Bring a Plate/Potluck', it is just a common courtesy to not want to "drain the host's coffers", not wanting to put a financial burden on the person hosting the get-together. If there is anything left over, it is not shameful for that person to take that 'plate' back home, they would be glad just to help out. As for the personal space issue, with the Hongi, that is a greeting as you say, but the weapon hand is held while the noses merge in greeting, but the rest of the body is spaced out. If they don't know each other then personal distance is required, it is a matter of familiarity, but the distance will grow closer the more you both get to know each other . . . . . and the less sweat will be passed.

Just remember, if the host asks you to put your keys in a bowl. It could be time to leave at that point. 😂

Hmmm. Its not always bringing a plate. I don't do that when I'm off to my friend's for dinner, unless we've agreed its a shared meal. But I always bring something, it may be flowers, veges or fruit from my garden, or wine, or some such. So I havent spent hours cooking. I've just said thank you in a very simple way. Bringing a plate is usually, where I come from at least, where everyone brings a plate for a shared meal.

As a kiwi woman I wouldn't hug someone I'm meeting for the first time unless I'd had a prior relationship of some sort (email or phone) but I have no problem sticking my hand out to shake theirs. The 'take a plate' thing really cracked me up. I think of that and pot luck as the same thing. Cheers guys, keep it up. 🙂👍

“Taking food, flowers, chocolates or something like that is also very common in Australia.

Bring a plate is usually bbq food. Salad, sausages etc that can be easily reheated. Some people become known for a specialty dish that they make so in a group of friends, everyone would usually be known for something and over time you will learn what your contribution can be based on your cooking skills. Eg. My mother always brings a steamed pudding for desert.

Born in NZ and lived here and overseas. I’ve lived in the provinces and Auckland, the latter for the most part. I’m at a loss over the “bring a plate” thing. So 1960s. It’s pretty well like “pot luck”. These two things differ only in that pot luck in my experience seems to be specified more by host. “Will you bring a hot vege dish or a dessert” kind of thing. It’s either formal and the food in its entirety is supplied by host, or it’s bring a plate/pot luck - venue, crockery, cutlery supplied. I’d never think to take a random offering of any old food to a normal sit down dinner party - ever. I would take wine ( always), chocolates, bottle of preserves, potted plant- in other words a gift. I do always ask my host/hostess, “ can I bring anything?” as a matter of course. 99 times out of 100 they say as you do..” bring yourselves!”

It's a Maori thing. It's called Koha. It was a way to help out. Have you been to a Marae and the visitors put down a white envelope that has money in it. This helps with the expenses for running the event, for the rates water, electricity and food. In the old days food was given. A cow, pig, sheep, sack of spuds, kumara, pipi, kina, paua, chopped Wood. Taking something to drink is OK. You may go to a meal and they not have gluten free, at least you've taken something you can eat. It's an opportunity to share pickles, jam or fruit off your tree. When the Provences formed NZ towns were rather isolated and it took hours and hours to get places, so each celebrated their anniversary seperately. I think America and Aus celebrate their various State holidays too.

Well for us and I meant my wife and I coming from Puerto Rico is in us to hug when greeting specially my wife . On the last visit from November to this last February we meet our daughter partner family and hugs for everyone , lol and we did brough " a plate " for the dinner invite our daughter reminded us since she have been living there for 20 years now , she is almost Kiwi , lol..

Hi Guys. I'm a Kiwi and I hug people at first meeting IF they are introduced by someone I know e.g if my sister introduces a friend but if it's a complete stranger I will offer my hand to shake. I'm pretty sure our whole family are like that. We always take food when being hosted by others but I've never questioned why we do 😆. Probably because we share what we have with others and we all have or had big families so it wasn't always in the budget. Sorry Bri but you're on your own re regional holidays. I say thanks and enjoy myself. Keep up the good work peeps loving the Vlogs..

With the take a plate thing, in the polynesian culture we take something over for the hosts as a contribution to the evening/event. If theyre hosting dinner sometimes you could take dessert or drinks (not necessarily something to go with the meal). As long as I can remember if I was going to someones house, my parents would always remind us to take something - its just something we've always done. Different to potluck.

“Please bring a plate”, is generally finger food and usually reserved for an impersonal gathering, i.e. church or club, and stems from the pioneering days when people may have had less family support and all pitching in together became a custom. Pot luck is different and refers to bringing a contribution to a meal - a main dish, veg or salad, or dessert. It’s not uncommon in people’s homes but host usually clarifies that it’s pot luck. Very often a kiwi guest will say to a host ‘Can I bring something’ to be polite but the host’s No should be respected.

As a Kiwi to me it's a sign of respect. I am from the far South and we all call it Pot Luck. Inregards to a collection of the neighbors and friends favorite dishes has made the best feeds I have ever had.

In Auckland we hug when we meet each other

😂 love this one! No, potluck is not just a curry-we do these especially at work. Men who don’t cook can bring bags of crisps or plates and cups, or soft drinks. It’s a way to lower the cost for the host/hostess (when done at someone’s home) everyone has their favorite go-to recipes to bring things that go well) for years I had a scampi pasta dish I would bring, then I got into baking and would make cakes. To work functions I always made cupcakes. I did theatre and we did these for Sunday table reads-I made a loaded quiche and the director always brought a couple of huge boxes Peet’s coffee (like Starbucks but better)

Thank you for giving us such a pleasant time listening you! I am going move to New Zealand this July and I find you guys so helpful!

Goodness no! As a South African we always do a “bring & braai” or “dop n tjop”(alcohol & chop as in meat) . Basically you all bring your own meat and drinks - but ALWAYS waaay too much of each, just in case and we all share - the meat goes into a “collective pan” and everyone helps themselves. But we will also organize who brings the potato bake, desert (milk tart , malva pudding, peppermint crisp pudding etc) and salad and garlic bread. We arrive and help last minute prep then relax and catch-up. We would never expect the host to cater for all - also these gatherings will include multiple families so they are not small affairs 😂

We know we don't have to, but we do it and we always will do it. Don't forget NZ is a relatively new country and to be asked to someone's place is a huge pleasure and we feel we need to "help out" and it's been a generational thing because in the early days , here there was nothing. Think of going to a marae, we always take something, these days usually money (koha).

Kiwi living in aus for 35 years. Aussies ask you to bring a plate also

I'm probably a little hug-shy because if I havent met someone or only casually beforehand, I want to respect people's personal space. It depends on the situation you find yourself in; and I also dont like the pretense some people have for hugging just to show they have a great relationship (when you know they havent, lol). A good eye contact and sincere words are what makes me want to hug someone.

Hahaha, honestly, I would have hugged you had my whole body not been sweaty! 🤣My wife and I are huggers! Love you, guys!

I think there are cultural differences even in NZ. I always bring something if I am invited to a meal - I will bring wine but I will also bring chocolates, preserves, maybe a nice cheese they can eat later. If I go to a friends for afternoon tea I will bring biscuits or something to eat. It is how I was brought up. I have American friends who almost sort of laugh at me when I do it - but they have got used to it now and they live in NZ after all. In my family it comes from a mix of Irish, Italian, Māori and Pasifika cultures who all seem to have similar traditions. My family are also big huggers - but not emotionally engaged in general lol - the form rather than the function 😅

Another great video, so much fun! Suzanne says you have exposed us, we only bring the good snacks to our favorite people, and now we have some explaining to do lol! We agree with only having local holidays, or, even school kids from the same family getting different days off? Thirdly, i feel a group hug coming on!!! P.S. great chili! Luv Us!

Oh you two! I absolutely loved this video! Can't wait to invite you for dinner🤣 and Brian, I get the public holiday thing😉 as far as handshakes and hugs. Liz, we are one in the same. So I'll happily share my hugs with you as much as possible. I dont even mind them at all. We can start a new movement in N.Z together. The Hug Club

Tis a Maori tradition that when anyone turns up at your house, then you do your best to feed them. In many cases no matter how financial you are you feed your guests. This is now looked upon as a way of offering a koha to your host to assist in the providing the meal. I as kiwi Love this tradition.

It's normal here to bring a plate of food. I didn't realize it's not normal in other countries 🤷‍♀️. I'm glad it's unique to our nation.

Brian just go with the flow she be right take your holiday and enjoy.

I just love your banter. I’m a Maori/ English kiwi and have to watch.

If it is bring a plate people will tell you. If it is a dinner they are inviting you to, generally it is not bring a plate, you are being invited. If you go round to someone's house you always take something, It is considered rude if you don't, it can be anything ,from a loaf of bread, bottle of milk. There can be slight variations on these rules depending on which part of the country you are in. Also when it is time to leave you do not take anything that you bought with you originally with the exception of dishes or cutlery unless the host asks you to. Generally if there is still food left afterwards the host will say something like , " Would you like to take some of this home?'.

I think the 'bring a plate' started when times were a bit hard and people couldn't afford to fully host another family so if everyone brings something there is less pressure on the host to provide but people could still get to socialise. I think now, so many people have different food needs that it helps to take 'a plate' of whatever you eat. :) OMG Brian it's one day a year to celebrate your region. It is better than if they didn't do one. :) I belong to a really huggy group at the rsa, we usually give a quick hug to people we are playing pool with before and after the game. Some do a hand shake but hugs are pretty standard.

I've always found holidays in the UK a bit strange, we have a bank holiday but when I ask anyone what the holiday is for, no one can tell me. What I do like about regional holidays is that you can pop over the border and everything is open! As much as I feel like I know both of you I'd definitely give the hug a miss, I think it goes back to how rural NZ has been throughout its history, we like our personal space and anything closer than six feet is almost an invasion. You've got Bri and the dog Liz, knock yourself out.🤣

Bring a plate is both a Kiwi and an Aussie tradition. My wife is English and so is our closest friend, and they both wouldn't dream of turning up somewhere without a plate. Only time it doesn't apply is if the host says not to. And it doesn't take more than a minute to coordinate who brings what.

Bring a plate is purposely communicated as you bringing a contribution. Depending on the relationship we'd bring a little something anyway even if it's just a fizzy drink. But at the least we'd ask. And from the other end it's not expected - unless it's directly communicated. If it's expected for you to bring something you'll be asked. It's about sharing the load, helping out.

I love the hongi. I think it's an extremely special thing. I've taught my son(he's almost 3) to do it with me just because of our special it is. It's fun for him now because he doesn't know it's meaning but one day he will

It’s tikanga to take something particularly Kai to any home you go too. You take what you can afford, doesn’t matter what it is as it’s the thought and intent behind it. You certainly don’t go to someone’s home and expect to be waited on, you become part of the host Whanau, so pick up a tee towel, wash the dishes and yes help cook the Kai if need be. You both have just displayed differences in culture.

It's Maoei tradition to give a Koha when you are a guest. We also help with the cooking and cleansing. It's a gathering of coming together not just to eat. It's one public holiday Brian get over it bro lol

Number #1 isn't just a kiwi thing, I have tons of foreign friends and this was a common trait most of our cultures had. I'm actually surprised that this isn't a thing in the UK

I quite fortuitously discovered your channel recently and have been enjoying your uploads. I am a Japanese expat living in eastern Canada. About the subject of "bringing a plate", as a Japanese individual, we never go to a gathering etc. empty-handed. Here in Canada, the closest thing, as you mentioned, is "potluck", and we bring something to a party/gathering. I am surprised to discover that Pommies do not do that according to this upload. By the way, I totally enjoyed your views on Japan (I learned a new expression " like chalk and cheese" from that upload)!

Bri would be upset then, when in the 70s when I worked in the Public sector, Otago anniversary was on Easter Tuesday but for others in Dunedin it was taken as Summer show day in February, so on that day had to work with bugger all customers, most shops closed then on the Government day off when all others were working.

I find it impossible to get people to bring nothing to a dinner party. They always bring something.

But the trouble with the bank holidays here ( UK) is you can’t go anywhere or do anything on bank holiday because the roads are choca, queues for everything, usually a pile up somewhere, and accommodation is always far more expensive and booked out months in advance. So I’m not a big fan.

We just had Labour day here in Victoria, but meanwhile, South Australia had Adelaide Cup, ACT had Canberra Day and Tasmania had Eight hours day. and the other 4 states didn't have it off. But the thing is you could have still gone, rushing down on Friday night and rushing back on Sunday you can go down on Friday and have a leisurely trip back on Monday when there is no holiday traffic in the rest of the country. And because it is Taranaki there is little or no traffic when you get back. Try getting back to Auckland on the last day of a long weekend, good luck on the southern motorway.

Love it as usual.

Love your videos. I will be in New Zealand from America, May 15-30. This is a vacation and exploratory trip. I plan to move to NZ in 2024. I am in education and counseling. Id love to meet while there!

For me, the bringing of food to somebody's house, is like the hongi. In the moment of sharing breath you are, in action, saying, "I am you, you are me, we are one". When you bring food, it is the same thing, it is to whakanoa, or release everything and put everyone on the same level...family...I am you, you are me, we are one and the same.

I love listening to you guys. I really identify with Brian as he does his fake reactions to you Liz. I must say that you guys are a major catalyst to me moving back to NZ after 33 years away. I'm coming down for the month of Feb to enjoy my family and mates then returning to the US and spending about a year divesting myself of decades of life spent here. I love your commentaries....keep it up. Les

The first time I encountered "Bring a plate" was on a wedding invitation for a friend's daughter's wedding at our small, rural Northland church. I too thought it meant to... _bring a plate._ My mother had to explain it to me (I was a kid). Lots of "Bring a plate" events in rural New Zealand. But it usually leads to a preponderance of baked goods. Nothing gluten-free!

Bring a plate usually applies to morning/afternoon tea, suppers etc not the main meal of the day. It is only in more recent times we have adopted the Pot Luck meal, mainly to help with the cost of putting on a meal for a big gathering of family, friends etc.

I think we Canucks may have the Kiwis beat on their love for eggs, as the Canadian Egg Marketing Board reported that, in 2021, the average Canadian consumed 243 eggs per year. So if the average Kiwi eats 237 per year, it appears we just edge you out by a bit, lol. 😉 The trend towards self-serve gas stations, as well as many other services, is a trend that, unfortunately, has occurred across the Western World. Here in Canada, there's a few full service gas stations around, but not many. Maybe 1 out of every 20 gas stations.

bring a plate also called pot luck LMAO the "theme" is simple get the gang round for a good time and a great night with out having to cater for everyone you know :) just like having a BBQ and you bring meat and beer they do the salad and cleaning up :)

The concept of bring a plate is about helping other people; showing respect and the concept of meritocracy .... and there are yummy salads!

Pot luck is taking a plate or a dish to add to the meal. A dinner party - a bottle of wine or chocolates or flowers, but not all three.

I now live in Sydney but during my many years of adult life in New Zealand I never went to a party where people brought food. Bottles of wine perhaps. And the wine is often to show your buddies what a wonderful drop you've discovered. It's correct that in New Zealand people don't rush around hugging but I've assumed the reserved English are very similar. The Brits aren't like the French, hugging each other, with kisses on the cheek. Perhaps taking food to someone's party is from early settlers in isolated communities and anyone with basic foods felt obliged to bring a bag of flour for scones or home-brew beer?

Giving someone a hug on first meeting people in Britain is definitely unusual. Shake hands, certainly, but most people, especially in the South, would run a mile if you lurched towards them, arms outspread.

Pot luck and bring a plate is essentially the same thing. What you bring depends on the venue/facilities and nature of the event (and how much you can be bothered)

Hilarious video guys!!

Regional Anniversary means when every thing is closed locally but you drive to another region and every is open. Cool!

So in south africa we do something similar (normally) when we have people around for a braai or dinner. But differently with us is that its a much less formal thing. Maybe one person will bring a salad and someone will bring some chips and dip or something small but as Brian was saying normally it would stick to the "theme"

There are always stories to tell about "bringing a plate". Many I have seen myself, and often told to me by others of their own experience. Bringing empty plates was quite common, and for others feeling bad, they brought along cutleries, cups as well 🤣 Years ago we invited our new English neighbours to our pot luck dinner where we also invited other friends. They brought dessert - a packet of Tim Tams. To this day, whenever we get together, that hillarious time would be brought up and we always have a laugh about it. I love to try other's cooking and I find pot luck is a lot of fun. More often than not, it tend to be the same hosting dinners so it is a way to contribute, help out as well. Provincial/Regional Anniversaries originated by your ancestors, the English Settlers. The anniversary was basically the founding days or first colonist arriving in that area.The anniversary was based on local customs and practices. Most regions celebrate their anniversary now with a theme of connecting the Country & Town and you often find Agriculture & Pastoral (A&P) shows during this time.

Liz please don’t be offended by the plate thing. All Māori people going to a bbq or a get together will bring a plate if not more. It’s just the way we are. This is just what kiwis do!

It also happens here in Brisbane. Each region has a public holiday on different days during the ekka holidays.

At formal dinner parties guests aren't expected to bring anything, except maybe their own booze if they have preferences he host doesn't have. But informal dinner parties are different and the invitation will say "Please bring a plate". Especially if its a BBQ or picnic at the beach.

A gift for the host and 'bring a plate' are different things! You bring a gift to the host (for now, or later) when you visit to eat. It's usually a pack of biscuits or a bottle of wine. It's in appreciation of the host's work. 'Bring a plate' is more when you have family or informal events like Christmas. Everyone brings a dish to help out feed everyone. A salad, a dessert (usually homemade), or if it is a barbecue, some meat or beer to share around. 'Potluck' is when you bring hot food to eat together. Everyone brings hot food (usually homemade) and everyone shares. 'Provincial Holidays' mark the founding of the Province back in the days of Provincial government in the 19th Century. Think of it as the Province's Anniversary day (that's what they are called after all!). Do not hug! Some people do this, and it is an invasion of privacy. Some New Zealanders are 'huggy' and I have to say 'no, please do not do that'. Do not shake hands unless it's at the end of a business meeting. Just exchange greetings. Smile, maybe give a wave: "Hey, how are you?". That's enough.

It's not really bringing a plate to dinner necessarily (unless requested) but we're just polite and bring things as a gesture e.g. a bottle of wine, flowers or something. If you are doing a potluck the host would often specify what to bring.

Hello ...If I may add a little food for thought..and I'll try to make sense I promise. Bringing a plate is our show of love, and for generations in New Zealand as our forefathers settled ,times I'm sure were rather isolated and it was also very tough for settlers living new culture but not fully understanding it ,and family etc were half a world away .so you just marched on and without those close ties ,many families may have swept things under the rug ...seen not heard was the moto I think we all grew up with and unfortunately, in my family the connection of giving and receiving a hug became very awkward or "weird" .my family, although I know deep down they love one another it wasn't something we ever showed physically. Verbal "I love you" was generally the only form of love we received...sooo get used to those plates,keep expressing love and our English friend Thomas (rip) would always send out a menu as an invite to stop us over supplying his "grand" feasts 🤣❤️👋🐶🐶🤠🇳🇿

Depends on the individual, I'm not a touchy feely kind of person

Maori call it Manaakitanga , reciprocated sharing. Bringing a plate is normal Maori custom. You never go anywhere without sharing something with other host. A koha- donation in other words...I believe Maori culture has become the norm in NZ. 😊

You comments about bringing a plate/gift is not restricted to NZ. Most cultures do it to some extent, my Persian friends wouldn't dream of going to someone's place without bringing something. Yes the Anniversary holidays when NZ had Provinces. Now we have Regions which is sort of the same without being a Federal parliamentary system like Canada or Aust.

You two are cool az ae,Hope you guys and life are good and that you guyz are safe through the stormz n quakez etc,We have close family friendz from England and they are family,They love NZ too.

Bread and butter on a plate? Sprinkle hundreds and thousands on it and it's fairy bread. Every kiwi has been to a party that has had that on the menu

When my sons go stay at there mate, i give them bread mik etc for koha, and there mates do the same when they stay here...its a māori thing for us.. 😂im the same about salads, bring some proper food , luckily māori dont eat salad much if at all 😂..māori embrace alot

I'm a socially inept, introverted hermit and I have no bloody idea when to hug someone or what to take to a dinner😄. I used to avoid hugs like the plaque but when I lost my partner to cancer a few years ago everyone kept giving me hugs now I'm completely confused as to when to hug or not. The lockdown was bliss for me as I no longer had to worry about the social protocols . If I get invited to dinner I either take wine for the cook or whiskey or something worth about the same as the meal because I don't have time to cook anything flash and some of my mates are fussy buggars. Anyhow I now try to avoid going out, saves me a lot of Hassells.

Some holidays are for the whole country - Waitangi Day, Labour weekend, Easter, Xmas and Queens birthday weekend.

I think this started in the early days of NZ when people didn’t have a lot and contributed to help out.

The hongi is about sharing the HA. The breath. The handshake while you hongi I'd a way of communicating how many deaths have happened in the whanau since last visit. If someone has gone, they will shake your hand, and squeeze it briefly per person without breaking the gold. It is a spiritual greeting, reserved for hui and relatives and mates

In NZ the term 'Dinner Party' is a very formal concept. NZers tend to have far less formal get togethers for a group of people, during the Summer months, it's generally a Barbecue. The Tradition of Bring a Plate came about from the 1st World War, from 1915 onwards. Because we had rationing during both wars & sent food to Britain & we had a small Population & widespread small Communities, people gathered together to make food go further, everyone made something to take & share. It's something that became traditional & with the cost of living & has kept going. Statutory Holidays are days that all the Country has, like your Bank holidays. There is only 1 day a year that is Provincial, that is the Anniversary of the Day a specific Province/Region became a Province or Region, generally. There are some provinces & Regions that choose to take their Anniversary Day Holiday with a big City in their Region, for example; Northland to Rotorua have their Anniversary Day Holiday with Auckland, at the end of January. I'm surprised that after 13 yrs in NZ, you don't understand what Anniversary Days are all about & to be honest Brian, it is only 1 Public Holiday that is Region Specific, to hear you, people would think it was a lot of Public Holidays. Australia also celebrates a holiday that marks the formation of each State, only for that State, but before the Formation of States, they had the same Provincial System as us. Perhaps you should invest the same amount of time into NZ Culture as you do in Maori Culture & before anyone starts, I'm 1/2 Maori, 1/2 Pakeha & 100% NZer/Kiwi. Liz, many Kiwis, regardless of Ethnicity, do not liked being hugged by Strangers. Most Kiwis are happy to shake hands on introduction, but NZ has become a very Cosmopolitan Society & with that there exists a lot of Cultural differences. We have a long list of peoples who have emigrated to NZ, Asian, Sri Lankan, Indians (All Castes & Ethnic Groups), Pakistani, Afghanistan, Dutch, French, British, Irish, Belgian, Europeans, Scandinavian, Canadian, American, Sth American, Sth African, African Countries, Philippine to name a few, all have different Cultures & Taboos & that's not even touching on Religious difference. That's part of it, another consideration I suppose is Covid, that doesn't stop me personally from hugging friends & family, but if I just met you I wouldn't want to hug you either. Now my husband is a Pom or a Pomwi as he likes to call himself. I met him when I was living in the UK, the Company I worked for had an Office there & I was there for 5 yrs. When I met his Parents for the first time, I shook hands with his Father, who took a massive step back when I held out my hand & I nodded to his Mother (it's not usual for Women to shake hands in NZ except for business dealings). In 6 weeks we were exchanging Hugs & Kisses, Dave & I were married about 18 months after we met & when my Contract was up, I came home with with him in toe. On meeting people outside of work in the UK, I didn't experience hugging at the first meeting, that came after friendships grew. Very few British Men offered their hand to me for a handshake. I was amazed until I got used to it, that you rang & made an appointment to visit people at home, even family members, I'm sure you've experienced here in NZ, if we happen to be in the vicinity, we just drop in for a cuppa & a chat. There are a lot of differences between the UK & NZ, I had to adjust my behaviour to suit the UK & it took awhile to accept their way of doing things. I was based in London, Dave is from the Midlands & I travelled all over the UK for work, we came back to NZ Sept 2000, Dave has had to accept doing things the Kiwi Way, it took a year to get him used to & comfortable taking his shoes off before going in to someone's home but he's still horrified if I go to the Dairy with bare feet. It's all subjective, objective & relevant. I'm sure you are both very nice people, would I wish to ever get to the hugging stage with Liz, I don't know, I'm not sure if I'd like Brian either, hard to tell when the only times I heard him edge a word in, he was either whinging or being a smart arse, hard to say. But I will say 2 of the things you're complaining about would be very easy to find out about, Bring a Plate & the 1 Public Holiday that's regional. I accept the Hugging thing is harder to define, you have a very extroverted, Bubbly personality Liz & you're definitely loud & proud & there's nothing wrong with that, but you'll just have to learn to be a little less huggy & touchy feely with people when you first meet them, not everyone likes or feels comfortable with it on first meeting. If these are the only gripes you have living in NZ you are extremely fortunate, you should check out some of the Kiwis living in the UK group chats say about life in the UK.

Having grownup in Christchurch for 25 years. Arriving in the Auckland region. I missed our November regional day off. Then, low and behold, there was a day off in January, a week before Waitangi weekend and immediately after the Christmas holidays. I agree with Brian, a regional recognition day would be better if they were all on the same day. In fact, we could have a round of regional ‘top town’ competitions and bring our regions together with fun. Everyone bringing a plate of course.

Nice to hear reference to the obby oss 🐴

All Māori people accept the hongi as a friendship greeting. We don’t believe in formalities.

Public holidays are the anniversary of the founding of that area provincial council and gaining its autonomy from the national government back when that was very UK focused. Back before instant communication it worked well. Its only one day per region - every other public holiday is national.

i think its a family thing where you bring something to add to the celebration, it's common in Samoan culture, but you guys do have a point, as a host you want to treat your guests (key word host/hosting)

Don't they do 'bring a plate' all around the world? You shouldn't make your host supply EVERYTHING, that's rude to come empty handed. Regional anniversary days, don't they do that around the world, too? The reason is the regions were founded at different times so they celebrate their anniversary on the date they were founded. And freight companies know which regions have their anniversary day so that's not a problem. Having all the anniversaries at the same time would be like you having to have your wedding anniversary the same day as everyone else in your town. That wouldn't go down well right. I'm a handshaker but that's as far as it goes unless it's a family member or close friend.

Unless the invitation specifically says 'bring a plate', I would always just bring a bottle of wine or something that's more a gift for the hosts, otherwise I feel like it's weird (and I'm born and bred in Dunedin)! And I would always invite you two for dinner (and not expect you to bring anything, lol!)! 🤗

In Maori/Pacific culture you don't turn up to dinner (let alone someone's home) empty handed - food was used as it brings people together. The old pacific traditional culture revolves around 2 facts: (1) hosting is a 'relationship' and relationship is a give & take. Turning up empty handed is a 'take'. (2) In the old tradition, having food where both parties prepared is about trust. Eg: if you're a host and you provided food where the attendees unfortunately get sick from, it raises suspicion and back in those days, superstition is big. The tradition would have evolved overtime into what it is today.

I've never heard of regional days off. If our district had some kind of district celebration, it was done after work hours. Like Guy Fawkes.

Scotland and Northern Ireland have some different public holidays from England. Wales is considering having a public holiday on 1st March, St David's Day.

I love your giggles

hi guys there are two different types of invites here in NZ one is your invited to someones home for tea where you dont need to bring a plate etc but you might bring a drink (alcohol ) to have with the meal that the host is providing ,and then there is what is called a pot luck tea which everyone or couple brings a plate to share in . PS: pot luck is just a saying , it doesnt refer to a pot of food etc , it just means it will be mystery as to what type of food people will bring to the table to eat