I Can’t Make You Happy, Dad | The West Wing 

Yeah, after he bullied and verbally abused and punished her in the oval office.

Even just reading you repeat the line put me in tears immediately 😖

Maybe the president realized he needed to show Ellie that he was proud of her and not just loved her.

@@rosaliewright4226 Verbally abused? Think you need to rewatch the scene. She had no place to comment on what he, POTUS, would do with one of his staff, which is why she was summoned, because it was tactless and against the protocols he had in place for press contact with his children, which she broke and undermined. But he did cross over into the family dynamic by referring to her not visiting, so the lines got blurred, for sure. But bullied and verbally abused? Sorry, but your bar is way too low.

@@RadioJammor I disagree.

I’m afraid so

Rewatching this scene I thought exactly the same, Jed is mad and acting in the way he always saw other men who were mad act, most chiefly his own father. The key difference is two fold. 1, as you said there is no physical violence involved. 2, Jed later realises what he has done is wrong and that it reminded him of how his father treated him, and tries to reconnect with his beloved daughter in a future scene. He doesn’t bring up the pattern between his behaviour and his own dad’s in that scene but the writers, and therefore the audience, knew the subtext was there. Despite his failures in this scene because of the stress etc, Jed does prove to be better than his father, and he tries his best to make it up to his daughter in his own way.

Hurt people hurt people, as they say. It's tough to break those cycles that we grow up with.

One of the hardest things to do is to NOT become our own parents.

Yeah, Jed was thrown, but covered it up. He dropped what he was chastising her for and hastily made the invite to keep her there so he could think and respond. He wasn't going to be all 'fluffy' about it after having summoned her to the Oval Office, so Ellie got a curt, barely polite invite. And that was why he needed time before Charlie let in the next person. Brilliant writing, expertly delivered.

Yeah I’m surprised she stayed over after that. It was crushing coming from someone that’s supposed to love you

You would have thought he would have replied, "Yes, I would like nothing more than to have you over for a visit."

@@BlackBarney All her life she tried to make him happy. Whatever little crumbs of bread he threw her way were heaven-sent.

I agree. He's being an angry Father, a Father wanting to see his daughter that he hardly sees, and POTUS, all at the same time, and that short interchange that ended with that, had all of that.

@@BlackBarney Someone who does love her, but is angry at her, doesn't see her as much as he wants, and is POTUS in the Oval Office. What you got there was a head-on collision between the family and workplace, with all the above thrown in, resulting in someone responding whilst trying very hard to maintain their composure. He was thrown by her response about not knowing how to make him happy, so throw that in as well. What you got was perfect in the moment; a man playing for time to think and respond to being thrown by his daughter (how often was Jed Bartlet thrown like that?), and doing so whilst still angry at her.

Maybe Ellie and her dad been so much alike is why they had strained relations.

The same relationship that he had with his father.

@@mtk52983 Which is sad, generational traumas ;( im just glad they were able to fix things by the time they were watching the movie

because she WAS a failure to her dad. She was intentionally aloof and dismissive of her entire family, and she tried to use her position in the first family to push her own agenda.

Not at all. You're probably right. She was smart enough and independent enough for medical school and research, and to comment about the Surgeon General, but his overpowering presence and the bombshell to him about not knowing how to make him happy, explains the distance, emotional and physical. That's why Jed suddenly decided to drop it - he was thrown and needed time to regroup (note also end of scene when he asks Charlie to wait a minute before sending the next person in). He managed to get out the begrudging invite, because he was also still angry with her, so it was never going to be a sudden change of demeanour, to "Uncle Fluffy" as CJ et al sometimes called him, which left us with barely civil. I think that was brilliantly written and performed.

@@RadioJammor Awesome comment Radio J....I needed to read this! Cheers👋

The only?

Some families are like that. If you don't have the traditional family, they assume you have all the time in the world at their beck and call. My family was like that until I angrily called them out on it, and they were so ashamed/scared it hasn't happened since.

Well Elizabeth had a husband and kids to deal with.So maybe with her the president can understand why she didn't visit so much.

Like ofc the oldest daughter who's married with kids and the youngest (who probably was still at home at the time of the elections) were more available than the sister who's literally in med school??

Ellie didn’t refer to her mother at all in this clip. The doctor she referred to was the Surgeon General. Only Jed made a reference to Abigail, and he did say Mom.

She never mentioned Abby. The doctor in question is the surgeon general (and Ellie's godmother and a family friend) not the first lady.

@@ArbysMom Plus by referring the the Surgeon General by doctor and not by her first name even though she was Ellie's godmother Ellie may have wanted to make it clear her opinion was professional and not personal.

Watch the scene again from the POV of Jed Bartlet being given a bombshell response and realising that his daughter has for years not known how to make him happy.

That's actually a falsehood that's somehow been perpetuated forever.

@@geoffoldread7684, as a middle child in a family of 5 kids, I agree. You're not lost, you know exactly where you stand. Two older, whose footsteps you need to grow into, two younger, who need to grow into yours. I never felt neglected, if the others needed more attention, I got my share, when I needed it.

​@@markcollins2666 And therefore, your experience is universal?

Some people have the courage of their convictions

@@GrainneMhaol some people don’t know where they stand in the matter of what is important... swallowing one’s pride and showing due respect or sounding off about ones personal opinion.