I always wanted 3 and just assumed it would be so easy. After 7 years of infertility, miscarriages and what seemed like endless treatments I am so incredibly grateful for my Son ❤
Hi Miki & Kev! Thanks for openly discussing the topic. It’s incredibly important to think about it with clarity and honesty. Try to identify your genuine beliefs & disentangle any societal expectations, “norms”, and things that you may have internalized, but no longer hold true. My partner and I are in our early 30s, living a childfree life with our cat. We come from East Asian backgrounds & work in the healthcare space in Canada. Our childfree decision was a super easy one. We are introverted, and extremely protective of our resting/quiet time so we can have the energy to devote to our work. That, along with high cost of living, climate change, political economy under late capitalism, and many more considerations including some mental health struggles. With our free time, we would rather deepen our relationships, be with friends/family, travel, learn new things, gain new skills, and relax. Although we enjoy spending time with kids (in small doses), we could not think of any reason why we should have our own. The parents in my life are constantly exhausted and we concluded that this trade-off did not make sense for us. Lots of love to anyone reading this!
I have to say I’ve gone through something similar but the inverse. After always wanting a family, having now spent time with friends with new children and seeing how it has altered their personality, I now really don’t want children in my life and look forward to a child-free journey - which I had never expected.
Since I was 5 years old I started to think of now having kids I was raped many times and I think that made me think of not having kids I'm 31 years old now and I'm happy I don't have kids me and my husband live happy
I changed my mind when i was 17 n my father had barely survived his 3 surgeries i realized how strong my mum had been n that gave me hope which gave her hope n i feel if he had not made it i would've been there for her n if that happens to me my child will be there for me❤
I can so relate to you seeing your grandfather that way and that changing your mind. Even though I’m 25 my parents are in their 70s and I pretty much take care of them. I know I want to have that familial support and love when I’m older. Always wanted kids too but the guy I was dating hated the idea. Recently I decided that after 3 years or trying to figure it out that we had to split. I wish I had someone as supportive as you do but you definitely picked better. Do what feels right for you x
It was good that you saw this perspective while visiting your grandfather. I changed careers in my mid 20’s and spent the next 5-7 years focusing on my career. I can tell you, I learned it was okay to show up in the office and not notice I did not get all of the spit up off of my shirt. My female colleagues actually acknowledged my effort as a morning duty father. My wife started work at 6 am and I started around 8 am. Lots of highs, then the teenage years and being told I hate you, to a few days ago, I love you dad. Besides, once Kevin’s schedule settles down, I see him as being a great dad. Then you will need make time not for yourself, but for your kids activities.
Mum of three boys and I have wished that I had at least a daughter… but my boys really love their momma and treat me with love and respect and affection, so I feel so blessed. A friend put it in a different perspective, “I think you’ll make such a good mother in law so you’re gonna bless the three daughters your sons will bring into the family.” 🥰❤️ Well I’ll be doing my darnest best to cultivate myself into a benevolent and loving mother in law. ☺️☺️☺️
I have always known I didn’t want children and just celebrated my one year anniversary from getting my tubes removed! I am so grateful I found a partner with the exact same beliefs as me so that we’ve never had to have these hard conversations good luck!
27, married and years deep into an infertility journey so being with someone who’s infertile took my I wouldn’t mind a child when we started at 21 to a deep, painful yarning for children
My husband and I are in our 30s and don’t want kids. However, we’ve watched so many of our friends struggle with infertility. It’s heartbreaking. If you’d like to, please consider freezing your eggs. When you’re ready, the eggs will be waiting. No rushing against any biological clocks.
I've been thinking about having since I was 21 but since my 28 birthday it has increased thought of having kids now I'm 29. Just gotta find the right person to have them at this point.
@@abbylynn8872 I know my mom said say same thing to me . Honestly I didn't plan to be single for 5 years it just happened hopefully you truly care about me you know and thanks for the reminder. 😊
When I was young, young I definitely did want kids but it was mostly the mindset of “that’s just want you do.” As I’ve gotten older and into my later 20s I’ve only gotten more firmly childfree. I’ll pass on that particular life experience lol
Dont forget to drop off kids goodies at your local fire and police departments. They always need a stuffy or toy when interacting with kiddos. This is meant for those looking for other local options to donate❤🎉
I didn’t want kids in my early 20s because I wanted to live life. I did have two kids by 30. I’m 35 now and probably I am done. 2 is perfect and I luckily had a boy and girl!
Thank you for the upload, Miki! So glad you were able to spend time with your grandpa and family in Taiwan. Would be keen for more content about the business side of things 🤗 I'm also the same age as you, Miki. At the beginning of my 20s, kids were almost an absolute no no. As my 20s have progressed, I feel comfortable about the thought of having children and would like to have a family of my own. And as I inch closer to my late 20s, have even thought of freezing eggs if necessary. To each their own, but do what's best for you and makes you happy 🥰
So I’m in my late twenties and I have two kids. I’ve changed dramatically from who I was before becoming a mom to who I am now. I can no longer do many of the things I used to do and I also barely have time for myself! However, I love myself and my life wayyy more as a mom. It’s as if my life prior was in black and white and having kids gave me the color I didn’t know I was missing! As hard as it is to be a parent, there is absolutely nothing more rewarding and fulfilling.
I waffled back and forth more leaning towards no kids throughout my 20’s. Now I’m 28 and not even in a longterm relationship like you two but leaving a religious cult over the last few years and losing my entire family, social structure really solidified its importance to me. I have to go out and make my own family, now. Relationships are the only things that matter to be honest.
Go volunteer at a church nursery, offer to watch your friend's baby for a couple hours, go to a school and see what it's like interacting with kids. Committing to children is a lifetime commitment. Think about it long and hard, get some experience, know that kids need love, time, energy. Lots of scheduling, mental load, and patience required.
Just want to add caring for someone’s kid is different from caring for your own. I hadn’t cared for any babies before I had my eldest and wasn’t even thinking of having kids. I am so so awkward around other kids but my kids and I are so close. I had my eldest son as a single mum and when I first met him, all the love in the world one could possibly have for a little child just flooded my heart. I didn’t know how to carry him when he cried and had to call a nurse a few times before I figured it out… and I just fell in love with him so so much with every coo he made. He is 21 now and I still love him. He has very un-adorable moments at times but we have our wonderful mum and son moments that I wouldn’t trade for anything. Speaking to him, hearing him share his views and perspectives never cease to amaze me… “OMG how did this pop out from me?” But he did. So yea… just saying having your own and being there and feeling them grow inside you (their little movements) and cuddling them and receiving all their unconditional love… Those are experiences u can’t test drive with someone else’s kid. It’s just different.
My mum always said this to me. She has never really been interested in other people’s kids but she is the most wonderful mother. I have always felt a lot of pressure and insecurity because I am not someone who naturally adores/is drawn to all children and naturally is amazing with all children. But I am not naturally amazing with everyone full stop. I am quite introverted and need time to get to know people and feel comfortable. That doesn’t mean you don’t have a great capacity for love and patience and communication and commitment to the people closest to you, whether children or not. I absolutely agree that you should take the decision seriously and do your research before actively deciding to have children but I don’t think that anyone who doesn’t love babysitting other people’s children would be a bad parent or wouldn’t enjoy parenting.
I love this video! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the kids topic! I am in a similar spot! My husband and I are 30 years old and as you know, the tock starts to "feel like it's ticking". I always thought I'd have children in my early 20's but now, I'm grateful that I've lived my 20s childless because I feel like I really got to grow as a person and become the person I want to be before bringing in a new life. Now that I'm older, I've also been doing a lot of reflecting on why I want to have children. Is it because 'society' has made it normal? Is it because I don't want to be 'lonely' when I'm older? Why is it exactly? I've gone down rabbit holes of people on social media who are childless and some say they 'hate' kids, or just say 'yuck' at the thought of them. I'm definitely not at that point, because I do think kids are awesome, but I've just been really reflecting on my 'why'. My husband and I come from smaller families and we've had rough relationships with them. Sometimes we feel like we won't be able to give them a great support system outside of us. It's a weird place to be! I hope you find the clarity you need!
I just turned 19 yesterday but my brother turned 28 a month before telling me that he’s trying to figure out whether he wants to have kids still. Mainly from seeing him preoccupied with his career, I feel like his priorities haven’t allowed him to open up for childbearing anytime soon. If things go his way, I’m sure he’ll find the time to have kids by his early 30s (at least from what he tells me)! He doesn’t want to be too old to run around with them and whatnot. I’m certainly too young to have any say but perhaps this gives some insight! Love your content and I hope the life unfiltered series keeps building ✌️
I never thought that I would want a child in my life. But then, at some point, all the kids started to look really cute (I don't generally like kids, lol), and babies looked sooooo adorable!! All the pregnant women looked glorious, and I started to pay more attention to families with kids. That's when I realized I wanted a child. Initially, I thought I wouldn't want a second child because my first pregnancy was really, really hard. But then, at some point, all the kids with siblings looked really great, and I wanted that too. So, yeah, here I am with two little ones, and I'm happy. It's A LOT of work, and I definitely need a vacation, but I'm happy, lol.
Still… undecided because I think it’ll be tough for the kid to survive with rising costs, competitive education system here etc. On the other hand, our generation is also pushing hard for a change. Probably it’d also depend a lot on how my future partner is like.
I think you will both be amazing parents. And if your plan is to retire in five years. You will be young and will have time to be the parent you want to be! Good luck
At 27, people around us having babies, I realise that I am not ready at all! I feel like covid robbed me of good 3 years, I was 23 when pandemic started! A lot of things I wanted to achieve before having kids... I haven't because of Covid, I feel like it really put damper on a lot of my plans and mental health. I wish I could say I was productive during that time, but I wasn't and now I feel impending doom of turning 30. Speaking of amount of kids, always wanted 2. Me and my SO have said we are okay with being girls or boy and a girl, but if we have 2 boys might give a go at 3rd. If it's still a boy we would give up haha. We have been together for a decade now and that hasn;t changed. So all of the Asian side of family is very much like - when are you having kids??? So far managing to keep them at bay with me saying "In Europe we have kids in mid to late 30s mostly".
I’ve heard that reading “The Panic Years” can help you look into making that decision and how to start looking at the details of that decision 😊. Congratulations on the engagement btw! 😊
I think the key to happiness is balance, but everyone might have different priorities/ things that are important that make them happy that can change depending on many things. Like I think having anxiety and depression has me mostly not caring about having friends or dating, but then I go through periods of hating that but oh yay anxiety says just deal with it. Also knowing how people see the disabled. Which then just makes me more depressed. 😞 Same with body image. Again I learned not to care because people are going to stare anyway, but also I think it's ridiculous how ladies worry about being bigger than a 0. My mom taught me balance, but I think that'll vary depending on a lot of factors, but a lot of people think ban. Oh ban junk food, ban fast food places.
Glad you got to visit your grandfather. I don't have any grandparents left. I wish I could visit with them again. 😔 On the topic of children, I'm in my early 30s and I'm still ping-ponging back and forth about whether to have kids. I think I'm leaning towards yes but probably just 1. I don't think I can do the job I have now while also being an attentive mother. So it does feel like a choice between career and motherhood. Side note: The restaurant you went to looks delicious. Adding it to my list of places to try out. Have you tried Kobuta & Ookami Katsu and Sake house in Redmond? Pretty good.
I personally wanted to have kids when I was in early 20's..from 2 to 1. When I turned 30 and experienced firsthand how daily life it is having kids, it went down to Zero. It's not for me. My personality, Patience is not suited to be a mother. It's a huge responsibility. Plus the cost! Just grateful that my bf then, now husband was fine about my decision. I'm 34, and childfree. Parenthood is just not for everyone. We should be fully prepared and wanted it.
I think the key to happiness is balance, but everyone might have different priorities/ things that are important that make them happy that can change depending on many things. Like I think having anxiety and depression has me mostly not caring about having friends or dating, but then I go through periods of hating that but oh yay anxiety says just deal with it. Also knowing how people see the disabled. Which then just makes me more depressed. 😞 even with online dating. I am 30 and when i was 27 i wanted to have kids. I'm 50/50 with the sperm donor route and thinking i want to be in a relationship ( also feeling like now I'll have one kid dang it) my mind is a mess. 😞 Same with body image. Again I learned not to care because people are going to stare anyway, but also I think it's ridiculous how ladies worry about being bigger than a 0. My mom taught me balance, but I think that'll vary depending on a lot of factors, but a lot of people think ban. Oh ban junk food, ban fast food places.
I have two girls and they are my life…..There are no sweeter words in the universe than when they throw their little arms around your neck and say I love you Mom! It’s not for everyone and that’s ok but I wouldn’t have missed this ride for the world!!
I genuinely couldn’t imagine a child adding to my life, only taking from it and nothing about having one sounds like a good thing to me lol. Also if you need to have a daughter you can’t choose that so…
I just turned 29 and there’s this pressure to decide if I want kids or not. Honestly, I’m still undecided, but also, I don’t want to decided “too late”. Is that a thing? Also Miki, where is your necklace from? I’m looking for something similat
I’m in my early 30s and while I love my nephews, I’m not built to be a parent. I’ve always felt that way even as a kid. Some of it might be because of certain issues in my own childhood, idk. Just never had that maternal urge if that makes sense.
Being from a family of 3 kids, with extended family all having 3 kids. I should warn you that the middle child often feels left out (unless he/she is the only one of particular sex). Eldest parents tend to spend lot of time on cos all parental firsts are with this child. Youngest usually spoilt rotten.
I know this has nothing to do with the video, but I was questioning whether to go into nursing, and saw that in your bio you said you are an RN. I'm very scared about the difficulties of the education for it from things I've seen online, and really dont know if I could get through it. I wanted to hear your opiniom and guidance on it from someone who actually went through it.
I've always wanted to have babies.. like ever since I was young, I would always be the cousin who takes care of their cousin's babies... Over the past years, I have been treating my hormonal imbalance (found out I had PCOS and Adenomyosis) and I just felt so much pressure and anxiety cause I'm 30.. Thoughts about "WHAT IF I DON'T GET PREGNANT".. Thankfully, during my last checkup, PCOS is gone. However, my mind somehow changed about getting pregnant. I got engaged last December 2022 and getting married on Feb 2024. I still want kids, but I feel like I don't want to have them just yet. How ironic, because I've been treating my reproductive problems for the past 7 years cause I wanted to get pregnant by the time I get married, lol. But now that I'm about to get married, I kinda don't wanna be pregnant just yet? DOES IT MAKE SENSE.
lol as a mom of 3 boys you don’t get a choice. I want to try one more time for a girl, but if it’s another boy. I am done tying my tubes😂 I’ve also considered adopting a girl. But idk we had 3 rather close in age,so we will be waiting a couple years before we try again
I am actually 17 .......but I just love ur videos,and the way u mention Kevin each and every moment like Kevin this and that is so cute....pllz make videos of the content creator.......love how u edited Kevin's thoughts 😂😂.I was really worried when u sent a message last week that something happened.....pheww the thing wasn't bad 👣🤱
I don't trust anyone enough to be a good partner and parent to have kids. I have seen and heard a lot how people turn on their wife/mother of their child once she becomes pregnant and has a child, that i dont want to potentially put myself through that. I'm in my early 30s, and with my significant other for over 4 years, I guess his lack of commitment or future planning with me has contributed to my feelings of not having children with him as well. Although I do want at least 1 child, and it hurts a lot knowing I possibly wont have that, I will likely end up being childless based on all of the above.
I would like to have two kids one boy and One girl. It would mean a lot to adopt one. I thought about having them in the 20s but there is still a lot to figure out in ways. Like if I really want to go to school again. Getting places and where. Just in a new relationship we have been together for almost 1 years, he is still working on school and not working right now. Know not the right time. It takes a while to be ok, I would love to have one kid in the late 20s and the other one in the early 30 :))
Having children is great! My daughter is now 2 years old and is the best thing that happened to me (aside from my husband etc). Just Remember to be cautious about speaking out about gender preference because sooo many women are struggling with infertility and miscarriages and oftentimes hearing something like that can be hurtful as every baby is so precious!!!❤
