I Come Back From Grocery Shop & Find My Husband Has Emptied Out House & Left Me a Note To Explain... 

House Story. The OP's Father paid in full 300+K for the sister's house and paid all expenses and more for the others tuition etc, OP got a minuscule amount so OP is NTA there is some serious misappropriation of benefits to the children going on here.

Story 2: the comments were selective and not the whole opinion on Reddit. The dad bought full houses for op sibling. I think I remember 315k for the house. So yeah op was expecting 30% on a million dollar home. Because that is a very similar amount to what the siblings got. I don't think it is an entitlement but her expecting to be treated the same.

OP is NTA and I hope she goes back to court for 100% sole custody. It’s time she stopped letting her daughter’s hopes get smashed and crapped on. Daughter can CONSIDER whether she wants to try connecting with him when she’s ready.

S1: OP's ex is quite the piece of work! Same for his harlot. OP spoke the truth, let him live with it. But she needs to sue for full custody and cut him off. She's not doing her daughter any favours letting her get her hopes up for her sperm-donor.

WAIT the stepmom is JEALOUS of her 5 YEAR OLD stepdaughter having BONDING TIME with her own FATHER I don't blame OP for yelling at the man NTA 10,000%

Absolutely none of the commenters on the buying a house story ACTUALLY listened to the issue. The dad had given each of the siblings a full house and college. The op was being pressured to move back home. She said no so the dad gave less money. Now he's saying he's being punished because they can't afford to go see them all the time. The op is a little entitled but the dad is being a jack ass

Bruh... the comments on story 2 are wildin'. Talk about lack of reading comprehension. He paid for her siblings college, paid $317,000 for a house for her sister, but didn't help with OP's college, leaving her to do it on her own. If the sister's home is in that area, then the amount given for down payment is likely less than a third of what he gave her sister, as in less than $100,000, especially when you consider that they still can't pay for the down payment on a $400k house. It's even worse when you realize that was all he planned on paying if they did move to that LCOL area. It's very much a "be happy for scraps" mentality. The disparity is pretty plain to see and the redditors were just focused on the fact that her dad has money instead of unequal treatment.

Baby proof story, bring your own things to baby proof a couple of rooms. That would be better than expecting someone else to do it. When you leave, take your stuff back with you.😊

S3: "Will you make your home a safe space for my disabled child" "No" "Okay, then me and my disabled child will not be there" That seems pretty fair to me. This isn't about watching the child as much as not being on guard and constantly vigilant somewhere you want to relax. There's a difference between a 2 year old and an older child that is disabled.

Story 2: It's one thing to complain someone gets more than you because they're, say, better with their money or not on drugs like you or something similar. It's another thing to complain about it when it was promised, and wasn't given because the giver decided to put hard strings on what's being given, and taking away when someone isn't doing what they're "told." OP isn't the AH for speaking up about the desperity between siblings because the dad is being an AH about the money

was the advice really that op should go on more vacations then save up for a home because of family?

Aunt story: I think OP should cut his losses and leave. Even if the aunt complies, she’s proving she’s not going to be cooperative in any form. If the family members want to undermine all the hard work OPs done helping aunt with the business basically for free, then they can recruit themselves to help the business.

Story one: cruel and necessary there we go fixed it~ NTA 😄

Story 2: NTA. Dad said he'd give OP money for the down payment on a house. He did not give the caveat that the house had to be near HIM until after the fact. OP and his wife live and work in Colorado, so it's understandable that they'd be looking for a home in that state. The Dad was essentially trying to blackmail OP into moving back home because he's still pissed off that OP had the gall to move away. OP is not in the wrong for expecting a certain amount (as it's typical to expect a down payment on a house to be 20% of the cost) and the dad essentially backtracked on that (especially considering he paid for college AND houses for OP's siblings). While he did give money, it wasn't enough, so OP and his wife logically had to cut back cost to continue saving. That meant not visiting the family. There's nothing stopping the family visiting them other than the fact that they don't want to. Dad is a tyrant and OP is probably better off having left.

Story one: When he said his new wife gets jealous when spending time with his kindergartner. I thought, What time? He dropped out whenever he said he would spend time with her. Is his new wife jelous he spends 0 minutes with a kindergartener.

Story 1: NTA, he is literally his father, including the abuse, granted his isn't psychical (it's psychological).

1: contact his command to receive child support and 1/2 his bennifits.

Story #1: You told the truth! If that hurts his feelings then who gives a damn??

Story #1 NTA Keep speaking the truth.

Story 2: i dont see op as a Ah, but thats because I also live in colorado and am in the process of saving up for a house with my mom and brother, its stupidly expensive out here. Ops dad is being a baby, he want kiddo to move back, but is now mad that op is saving their money for a house. I will say this op should've aked for how much dad was gonna give so op could've planned accordingly.

Beyond what everyone else here has said regarding the house story, the father’s reaction cements him at the AH. All that about wisening up and moving somewhere better (aka home) is proof that it was his plan all along to try and force them home.

Story 1: oh poor baby, was that some thing he didn’t wanna hear? Well maybe he should stop acting like his father then, what did he expect you to say? You are abandoning your daughter after repeatably letting her down, but your pathetic side piece is jealous Are they five-year-old, so I guess it’s OK. He’s not abusing his child, but he shouldn’t be doing that anyway, just because he’s not the absolute worst doesn’t mean he deserves a metal. You said you’re sick of your daughter be constantly disappointed with the piece of crap that cheated on you, tried to take your daughter away and now he’s not even trying to see her for the amount of time he gets. Don’t feel bad for him. Tell him if he doesn’t wanna be like his dad. He needs to stop acting like it.

According to the comments in story 2. It's entitlement to be expected to be treated the same as your siblings.

Story 3: why would anyone child prof there house for someone else’s child. I guess he has special needs, but you still don’t demand someone child proof their home for when you come over. Just make sure there aren’t any safety rates around. If it’s so much of a household, she could hold a few family get together, or anyone else for that matter.

NTA if there is no money, there is no money. Sometimes there is no choice about where you live. If you can’t travel that’s just how it is.

The second story. Why do people frame it as a punishment that op isn’t going out of the way for family anymore. Op needs to save money they are a bit entitled for exasperating so much from family. The parents are entitled for exasperating so much from op and giving more money to other siblings. But also the siblings got more money cause they got in line with the parent’s wishes.

Story 3: NTA, if no one living or spending a lot of time (like daily babysitting) in a house needs the child-proofing, there is no reason to have it. Your sister's complaint is basically "I am to lazy to parent my child, do this so I can be lazy."

Story 1 NTA Went through almost EXACTLY the same thing with my ex-husband.....my advice NEVER tell your child when he says he is going to do anything with her till he shows up at the door. It saves time trouble and trauma.

Last story. NTA. Oh No! Terrible GPs and jelly SIL are having a tantrum over Rosey?!! Gee ......uhhhh, eff off, I guess? 🤔🤣 Don't give them a second though OP. Congrats on Rosey

Story 4: your cousin is 14? So your aunt wants you to run the company as a placeholder for her son and for the next 10 or 12 years, with a high possibility he doesn’t even wanna run it? But you get absolutely nothing in return for it. If your cousin doesn’t want to take over, is he just going to keep calling him out his name to? You got your answer when she started cursing you out , cut your losses and go start your own company.

What a schmuck, abandons his wife and child but goes for full custody. Now he is ignoring his daughter and disappointing her over and over again. He is a complete AH for so much, but especially for allowing his AP/now wife to be jealous of his kid and not want his child to have any part in his life. I feel so sorry for his daughter. OP should go for full custody. She owes no apology and shouldn't feel bad for telling this POS he is a POS. OP to ask for a stake in the business he understands and runs since the widow and her young son do not is a reasonable request. Since the aunt wants to use him but not value his contribution to the business, it is completely reasonable for him to look to his own interest and open his own competing business. Ignore those who criticize. I'm glad OP has supportive in laws. Maternal side of the family can kick rocks, you don't get to be A*holes and expect to be honored. It's also sad SIL is being thoroughly jealous, ridiculous, and insufferable. Shame on her for pitching a snit-fit and spoiling this lovely moment for OP's MIL and FIL. OP NTA.

Story 2: NTA, what the heck is OP supposed to do??? Move back because daddy said so? Reddit is dumb and making assuptions again like they always do.

Story 1: I will bet whatever anyone wants, OP will have her ex crawling back when he and his new wife have a kid. She's going to hate her child, and he's going to look for a new mom for his baby

story 1: op is NTA, but op your ex is abusive to your daughter, your 5 yr old daughter is in therapy because of ex's abandonment. What's truly cruel is he would make promises &not keep them. Ex cheated & to make matters worse he married a woman jealous of a 5 yr old. Personally op i think you're underreacting.

Child proofing story: I wonder if those offering to pay for child proofing at OPs place have their place child proofed?

My parents never child-proofed our house. Instead, they taught me to behave...and no, not by using corporal punishment.

He left while SHE was buying milk. That’s a new one. 😂😂😂

#2: 100% NTA. "We will not be childproofing our new home as there is no need for us to do so."

Landscaping business. How long did your uncle have the business? You've been there 6 years. You've been being paid. You are doing more now and deserve a raise. That doesn't mean you deserve to be GIVEN an equity stake. You might offer to have the business formally appraised and then offer to buy the company at a fair market rate. For money, offer to put the money for your raise into purchasing the company. If she refuses, you can leave. Let her know that you leaving the business could make it fail, or she could have passive income while you take a business she doesn't want to run off her hands, or you can leave, it can fail, and she gets nothing. This is much more fair all the way around.

"Take out the abuse" No he's definitely abusing his daughter because of all the promises he's breaking after repeatedly saying he's going to visit and take her, he's really putting in the work to emotionally abuse his little girl the giant AH

The number of Boomers who say just pull yourself up by the boot straps, buckle down and work hard, etc, for affording a home, but then get pissy when you do it cause now you're working all the time and can't be social, is amazing. OP was thankful, but it wasn't enough and he still has to work hard for it. The dad can view the gift as only missing his kid for one year instead of many. He's not "punishing" them, he's living his own life.

The house story screams of favoritism, and black sheep. It's crazy how much they gave to all the other children in comparison. It seemed more like the parents money was a bribe to stay nearby. I wish I could visit family that is 4 hours away but that is just not possible for many.

How is OP naming her baby girl after her MIL a vindictive move when the rest of the kids had male children and it’s a rather natural choice to use male relative names. Did they expect her to ALSO name the girl after FIL??

1st story...Tell his Commanding Officer that you didn't care when he cheated but you do care that he's not being more active in his daughter's life even with living in the same city and sharks his responsibility by saying his new wife is jealous of his child. He'll figure out a way to get his butt in gear!

S1: why subject your child to a monster?

Wait...the sister got $317k??? 😳

Story 1, Nta op isn't wrong he is almost like he's father, He cheated on op and treating his child poorly to enable his ap, just because he didn't get to abuse op and op's daughter physically like his father did to him, his mother and siblings, doesn't mean he gets a gold star he's still a pos, He is copying parts of what he his father did to him, and honestly op's parents shouldn't be upset with op stating the truth, when he treats their daughter and granddaughter like this, Seriously they should be asking "then why did you do this to are daughter and granddaughter then, if your not starting to copy him? Do you want a pat on the back just because you didn't beat them?!?"

First story - OP, you are NOT the id10t !!! He is exactly like his dad !!! He deserved to hear that !!!

1st story I know it’s off topic, but isn’t infidelity within the military a big no-no?

I love the daily uploads!

So he can be cruel to a 5yr old, you were not !

Story 2, Reddit is redditing again, children that don't comprehend that dad gave the sibs $400k+, and gave op a fraction of that, and instead call Op bitter because of their own lack of comprehension.

Nta in down payment story. He paid for siblings college AND A 300K HOUSE.

Story 2 NTA but many of the commenters on that were.....its not throwing a fit just because you don't fly home every time mommy and daddy want you too....OP has cut out expenses in their daily lives just to save for a house and Dad is a major AH....unless he gave them the same 317,000 he paid for sisters house he was playing favorites and has ZERO room to complain when his not golden child doesn't want to visit. Dad brought that on HIMSELF.

Girl you said what was necessary. He needs a reality check. Now he will look at his dad differently either he'll improve himself or forgive his dad. Hopefully he tries to improve himself

House down-payment: What's up with those commenters? They're saving up for a house. That means cutting spending. Whats a big thing you can cut? Vacation and trips. And why would the dad just assume they would move back? If i was told i was going to get money for a house down-payment, i would assume it was for the area i live in?

I hate the commentators of the house story. if the sister got college paid for and a house for about 300k paid in full, OP needs to get the same. If not the same they should buy some Vaseline for the BURN!

The down payment one. NTA. You assumed an amount because dad paid $300k + for sister, paid for full uni for sibling, and 0 for you. So thinking it would be in that ballpark would be normal. The fact that the parents will not travel to his home because HE MOVED AWAY! tells me parents want him to do what they say, or get scraps (control freak, anyone?). Family is important, yes. But they need to show you you are important to them as well. I would not eliminate all trips, but try to see them more. 1 monthe here or there to save will not make a huge difference, since the lender for the home will make you wait months anyway. I think it was 5-6 months for us that they kept asking to see our financials, after we had already given them the info for 3 months previously. Who knows, maybe they streamlined this finally (we bought in 1992).

S1: NTA. I’m so sorry for the abandoned little girl. Her father is a weak, selfish boy. A real man does not abandon his children.

Special needs: As the mother of an autistic kid, my parents didn't babyproof their house until we started living with them for a little while and that was just fine. She's expecting WAY too much of OP to babyproof their home so that she doesn't have to watch her kid every family gathering. I suspect that once we move out again, most of the babyproofing will be taken down or at least left undone aside from visits. OP is under no obligation to make sure their new house is ready-made for nephew to run wild, and even the best childproofing only slows kids like him down after a little while of him living with it. Trust me, my kid has already figured out most of the ones we use.

Story 1: Nta. He is abusive. Emotional abuse is still a kind of abuse. Last story: Wtf sil had the chance to honor mil and instead honored fil twice.Story 1: Nta. He is abusive. Emotional abuse is still a kind of abuse. Last story: Wtf sil had the chance to honor mil, but instead she honored fil twice. That is not op's fault.

Story 4: This is hilarious, so entitled aunt wants Op to do alll the work with none of the pay…and people think OP is being unreasonable…? No…just…no

"It was unnecessary" no, it WAS necessary. OP's ex husband needed a wake up call because he did turn out like his dad. What he's been doing to his own daughter is emotional abuse. What is it with parents meddling and defending the cheater just to keep the peace when their own kid was hurt and abandoned and was stuck in a situation where they're always the one to give in? if my daughter was cheated on and spent years facing this kind of ex, I would've said "good for you. he had to hear it"

In that situation when the absent father never shows up, isn't it better to never tell the child when he will come so she's not disappointed, and maybe a nice surprise if he actually does show up?

Edit to my previous post the Father gave 315K for the sister's house so if he gave that to OP with OP's savings he would have a decent amount in Colorado where he says even crappy townhouses go for over 400K. 315 + 100+ maybe 500K a very good down payment maybe even 25% of a very nice place even 10% thru 20% is still good. I do think there is something missing in the story, particularly how much did the Father actually give. All in all I vote OP NTA.

Story 1: I’m a 60 year old and I am still affected by what my sperm donor did to me. He kept saying he would show up and I’d get so excited. Then of course my mom would tell me some story as to why he didn’t show up. I’m a little upset with her too. I know it hurts, but don’t lie to your child to protect anyone, not even the child. Kids aren’t stupid, they eventually learn what is really going on.

3:13 - the donor knows the taste of his daughters pain, yet ignores if in favor of his own troubled upbringing. "I'm allowed to abandon my child cuz I was abandoned and never had a Father. How dare you compare me to my Father!"

I have never once child proof any apartment or house I’ve been in closest to childproofing I did was putting like seven locks on my doors. I had An escape artist to the point where I bought the specialty locks that were like puzzle locks. All of which should’ve been very clearly out of his reach.

Imagine how insecure you have to be to be jealous of a 5 year old. NTA. He is just like his dad. He cheated & abandoned his kid. Sometimes the truth hurts. Time for the red pill

S1 - If it wasn't for the way he is neglecting his daughter, I would start wondering if OP is downplaying her part in the break-up. With the way he is treating his daughter, I'm now convinced he is showing what kind of AH he is.

Story 1 Op was right when she compared her husband to his father even if there are some differences between them they have more in common than not

Story 1: He ended the full truth. Some people think they’re doing better because there isn’t physical abuse- like bro, that’s the bare minimum.

Story 2 is really about OP being treated differently compared to his siblings. He might be the scapegoat child because no way his sister gets a free house and he gets nothing near that, despite not needing his parents to pay anything for college while the other siblings cost the parents more.

Child proof story: I NEVER “child proofed my home. Other than moving the dangerous cleaning chemicals, I literally watched my kids and taught them what was touchable and what wasn’t. I had 3 kids and it worked with all of them. I didn’t sit on my a$$ and let some gate or device keep my kids safe, I watched and taught. Do you know how many generations had to raise their kids without “child proofing,” ALL OF THEM, until recently.

Story 1 Guarantee OP pumped her daughter up for each visit and made a big deal about the ex not showing up. He is awful, but OP's hands are dirty too. I'd be angry, but signs were there, she ignored them. Had a baby with a man who would do this. And she dragged her daughter into her anger, hence the therapy.

OP1, you did nothing wrong. He is his father version 2.

Lotta smoothbrains didn't bother reading story 2, NTA OP's dad is having a tantrum because this was never about money, it's about control.

House story. NTA. All I heard from those comments were wah, wah, and wah. No one ever in the history of my family ever childproofed a house. We teach them young what they can and can not touch.

if one sibling gets 300 thousand then the other sibling should get the same. As a parent never give one child a large sum of money if you can not do it for all the children...sigh

If it sends him to therapy it's probably a good thing

Last story: Rosie is a lovely name so tell your pathetic SIL to Foxtrot Oscar.

OP NTA. I don't see what you said as wrong. But if I were you i would go for full custody cuz his broken promises and back and forth is only harming her more. Truly feel bad for her. Wish he could get a spine and put his daughter first. Wish his eyes would open cuz somwthing is wrong if a woman is jealous of a child.

Story 1: NTA Story 2: NTA. Story 3: NTA Story 4: NTA Story 5: NTA.

I have a dad like the first story, and our story ends with him divorced and dying soon of cancer and no one gives a sh-t if he lives or dies. Live like a lone wolf, die like one too. If you never invest your time or energy into anyone but yourself, don’t be all surprised Pikachu face when no one bothers with you either. All he ever did was screw women over his whole life, now no one and nothing cares about him at the end. I honestly just feel like the women of the world will be safer without the son of a beeeep in it, good riddance to bad rubbish.

Ah, how about a 14,000 ft peak in 2 hours? You can do it OP.

He'll be back to walk her down the aisle.

Story 5: NTA, anyone with a problem is insane and in need of therapy. It' is a name for heck's sake, you and your husband choose it. What did she want you to name your daughter after FIL too?

S1 He is like his dad. He up and abandoned OP and their daughter. Eventually his daughter will only see him as a liar and just a sperm donor. He may not be physically abusive, but those lies and broken promises hurt. The little girl will remember dad being barely mom. Hopefully OP can find someone new who loves that little girl and can adopt her. Real dad should sign off rights, his wife obviously is more important then his own daughter.

Story 1: These types of stories always depress me because I grew up dirt poor and people here complaining about free money and help from their parents. My dad gave me $50 once....and asked for it back.😮

story 1, you’re just calling a spade a spade. he literally is like his father. a deadbeat.

Story 2: I hate it when these OPs wait until they get flack from the community to do an edit about crucial points. Before the edit OP is was a giant Ahole. He didn't include the giant disparity between what he got compared to his sister until the YTAs starting rolling in. Makes it less believable that he was truely screwed over and his sister got so much. He should have made that his driving point to his dad when he first found out the amount, not after he accepted the cash.

S2, boo ducking hoo, she has to keep an eye on her child. If this is the hill she decides to die on, it's her problem.

Hold on I'm confused when people say that they're going to name their child after let's say the father-in-law or mother-in-law just because they're important to you that's not really a good excuse to name your child who has to live with that name someone else just because that person is important to you. If that was the case people who have dogs that is very important to them and practically their only family will probably need their newborn child after that same dog but no one can say that the two aren't the same when it's literally the same just with different entities being named after each other. I get the thing of passing the name down and yada yada because I have the same thing but I also don't get why you would name someone who has to live with the name who may or may not like that name growing up later on after someone else just because you deem them important. There was a story of a woman who named her child Karen because she really liked the name and it was to also honor I think the grandma or the mother-in-law I forgot and I can't remember but in that story she named her child after that and one of her friends try to tell her that there is a meme or rather a joke of the name Karen going around so naming that child that name is dumb even if it's important to you because they have to live with that name. When she saw social media surrounding that particular name she realized her friend wasn't being an a-hole but also was somewhat being an a-hole because she ruined the name choice for her. Even though later down in the future it would happen whether she liked it or not. Not being annoyed or rather picky here I'm just confusing my people do that without realizing the child would probably have a hard time with names when they grow up and I can't really do anything about it until later on where they're able to change their name. Rosie's in the bad man but at the same time he's probably shouldn't use the name of someone else and be more creative but everyone has their own choices. Just try not to act like another story will you try to make that child's life everything similar to your mother-in-law with the same name

I love this channel but lately it feels like the dialogue is so fast. Sometimes I have to rewind to listen to some parts again because I couldn't understand what was said. Love your videos though!

Think paying siblings college, all of a house.Think he's trying to blackmail them to moving back to where parents live.They appreciated the down-payment but guess they judged on what he gave siblings.Dont think father likes OP independence.

LAST STORY THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE THE NAME OF A BABY + PERHAPS A NUTRAL PERSON TO GIVE A CASTING VOTE IF NECESSARY.

A house full of grandparents and relatives and no one will help the mother watch over the special needs kid? It's not OP at fault here.

Dad just wanted to make you move home. Most of us have to cut out those things in order to save for a house. Not at all unusual. Your dad didn’t screw you over. You and he had a different idea about where to buy a house. YTA

Story 1: NTA, story 2: NTA, story 3: NTA, story 4:NTA

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