I Don’t Think My Husband Makes Enough Money 

Nothing wrong with wanting to stay home with your child. However, you can’t bully your husband into making more money. Just cut back and live within his means.

Dr. John hit the nail on the head - this lady is no where near ready to have a baby. She doesn’t understand that owing nothing is a very good position to be in. Also she needs to learn how to live below their means. First world problems.

This is the most first world problem I've ever heard.

Poor child is going to have to listen to this woman for the rest of his/her life 😂

My concern with this woman is her extreme anxiety. That will screw up a kid, whether you stay home or not. This isn't a money issue, it's a baggage problem.

I see where she's coming from. My wife and I are having a similar conversation. I make 6 figures and my wife is a nurse, we have 1 kid and are talking about a second kid, she wants to be able to be a stay at home Mom but she has a hard time giving up the ability to eat out and shop without a lot of worries. She puts the burden on herself to have that life because I've showed her that our needs will be met if she stops working, but she wants the extra security. It's all valid. Its just an adjustment and its one that both have to be okay with.

$240K with paid off house? That's not enough? This is disgusting.

She's anxious and trying to control too much of everything. Even the idea of dreading the baby phase was not a good thing to hear her say (kids are babies for a big chunk of their childhood). That anxiety is going to bite her and her whole family in the ass if she cant get it under control.

This woman has no idea how blessed she is. I don't even know what I would do with 50k a year.

Love John's advice. The comments sadly are very hateful usually. Everybody has their own diagnosis. Lets try to learn about and understand each other and not be so judgemental. Thats what John's message is all about.

Kari, you guys are doing great. It's totally worth the sacrifice! Your anxiety is understandable given your background but you guys are on a different level. Relax and go have your baby!

I am childfree by choice, and about 3 minutes into the call, I questioned if this woman may not actually want children, but feels pressured to do so as a "have to". Before accepting that I just genuinely DO NOT want to have children, I sounded much like this woman, coming up with all the excuses in the world about money, security, support, childcare ect.. when in reality I just... do not want children... it was simple. I'm curious if she'll come to the same conclusion...

We made less than 50k when we started having kids and lived within our means, meaning ate out rarely, I cloth diapered, I stayed at home, he worked extra hard. We both love kids and are comfortable with sacrifice and going without. If you're not a resilient type, yeah, kids are probably not for you, even if you make millions

I get it.. when you grow up financially unstable .. you don’t want to bring kids into financial uncertainty. Also when the bread winner quits things can get scary. Not to mention the pressure to have kids when the bio clock is ticking is another level of stress.

Trust me, your husband makes enough for a baby and you to stay home. You will need to change priorities and budget. Money is a tool and not the end of all.

Girl bye

Calls like this make me think true love doesn’t actually exist….

There's nothing worse than raising a child with a broke dude. Why? Because the mother will be forced to work FT, and then come home and do most of the housework and cooking. There's zero equity. It's awful and it damn near killed me. I told my daughter to NEVER have children unless she and her spouse can afford hired help or for her to stay home. Period. In this woman's case, she should work and HE can stay home and do everything. But men's egos rarely can withstand that, and he will end up cheating or resenting her.

no i get what she’s saying, she has driven them to be an amazing financial place and now she wants to have kids and needs her husband to step up a bit to ensure that they somewhat keep going in the right direction with wealth building. if i was the guy id understand and if i was her id feel the same way

I’m in sales too and understand a little bit where she’s coming from, but my husband and I I decided together how much WE needed/wanted before having a baby. We’re budgeting now and setting aside part of my income that will supplement and “be my income” for the first year or two so I can stay home and then figure out the next steps. In her case- if you want 100k income and your husband makes 70k, set aside 30k x the number of years you want to stay home. Live as if you only have 100k now, and you guys will have more than 3-4yrs worth in 1 year based on stated incomes.

Not understanding some of these comments. 70k is very lean to live on for a family of 3 in FL. Even though she may have a paid off house, a child is quite expensive. They will need to save for retirement and possibly college for the child, not to mention home repairs. We don't know how much they have saved. I think her concerns are valid.

I go back to watch this video every few weeks to remind myself of the person/wife I never want to become.

There’s a lot of things that need to happen in my life to make me feel comfortable enough to have kids and household income is definitely one of them. If we don’t make enough then I’m not popping out any babies

The math doesnt make sense for her to stay at home..it makes sense for the husband to stay at home because he is making less. He isnt going to be able to work harder within a year just to match what she makes. And if he could, he would resent her because it wouldnt ve a choice he made but one forced on him.

Dr baloni checklist: -humble bragging upper middle class yt caller -johnnyboy cracks a few corny jokes -wife tells story, dr. Baloni paints the man as a monster, regardless. -john pushes guest to tell him their childhood was a nightmare (it wasnt, it was actually really nice.) -closing statement, product push, closing music

Yes, they need you at home, especially in those first years. Ignore anyone who says anything different.

Im happy they are taking the help available to them and utilizing it abd their brains before bringing a child into the world. I commend them for that.

100k isn't enough if thats the amount she's measuring by , but I don't think she doesn't respect him, she doesn't trust that he'll be able to provide for her and kid while maintaining their lifestyle. People are trashing her but these conversations married couples need to have before their on kid number 3.

She has created an ideal that prevents her from making mistakes. It is also ok to be a working mom and experience that you want a (working)life. I feel she is overthinking everything just to get sure that she has a stable home. Happy loving parents cab provife a stable home even if they work.

Why doesn't she let her husband stay home with the kid if she is concerned about household income? Then, the household can live off $170k instead of $70k.

She doesn't want a baby enough ..

I can't help but think that decent maternity leave in the US would solve a lot of this problem.

I get her point , with the safety blanket . But she’s still beating around the bush with certain questions and ideas .

To me, this is about security and wanting to feel financially safe. If her husband is all for her being a stay at home mom, then there’s nothing wrong with wanting him to bring a baseline amount home every month so y’all aren’t pinching pennies and eating beans and rice for dinner every night. It’s not about disrespecting her husband or fear of motherhood. She’s trying to have some sense of control over what she knows will be the rollercoaster of being a new mother. Man…sometimes Dr. John annoys the crap out of me and makes me so irritated. Don’t yell at a caller. They’re doing their best to describe their situation as best they see it. And he has this arrogance that just irks the hell out of me sometimes. This woman is very smart, she has thought this through. Spend more than 15 seconds listening to what she has to say. Stop trying to “pop psychology” her and actually listen. And belittling her by saying she wants to go out to eat whenever she wants…she wants to maintain a certain lifestyle.

I don't really agree with people blowing this woman off saying, "oh, first world problems, people survive on less!" I think being concerned over how your child will grow up and turn out and wanting what's best for them is normal in all tax brackets. She's done the research to figure out the type of lifestyle she feels comfortable giving her baby, and I don't think there's anything wrong with feeling anxious about whether that can be made a reality or not! Personally, you couldn't PAY ME to be a stay-at-home mom, and over my dead body will my children ever be homeschooled....but that's the great part about being a parent and deciding for YOUR family what you'll do. I think there's a little bit of disconnect between her and her husband; she seems like the type who will make sacrifices for financial stability, so when she feels her husband isn't doing the same, there's discord. I liked the advice Dr Delony gave her, and I hope she can put worries aside to make peace with what their future will realistically look like. It's really hard to give up a well-paying job and make the shift from not looking at price tags to having to budget expenses! I did that when I moved in with my husband (we dated long-distance for 3 yrs).

She's trying to re-arrange her husband's personality to fit her demands. It's all about what she wants, how she wants it, and she's fully ready to try to force her husband to change his career and the way he sees life ... because she believes she's right and he's wrong.

Sounds like 2 people who have nothing in common trying to make a marriage work.

Its about her seeing him WANT to be the leader. She sounds like a boss babe who then wants to switch into suzie home maker which is fine but shes not saying what she wants clearly AND He should have a tonof say in how he provides for his family❤. Shes bossing him around like an employee😮

When women make more than their husbands they resent them and don’t respect them. I feel bad for her husband

Theyve done a great job paying down the mortgage. Better than most. Pay off the house. Save some cash and live in a mort free home only worrying abt taxes and maintenance.

Why isnt he staying home an option? It makes more sense for her to take some time off but get back go work and let him be sahh, thats a primary care giver, and they would be ok for money.

She is likely to not get pregnant because of the anxiety. In my opinion they need to start trying if they want a baby because is 30! They are doing better financially than probably 90% of society.

Ain’t no way she grew up poor maybe dysfunctional family. If she’s worried about she could also do a side hustle to get close to the 100k

Work remotely part-time with a babysitter in your home so you are right there. It would actually be good for the baby, too.

Here’s another idea, why can’t she keep working and the husband stay home with the kid for a few years. I know it’s a huge roll reversal based on stereotypes, but if this is just about having a parent around the child all the time then that makes way more sense.

So when dr John so simplistically surmised it that she wants him to do everything so she can go out and do things and be satisfied…..he made her at least state that her own view is selfish…but she came back with a defense of her view…not sure ahead can move from that view when it comes to her marriage and family.

My mom stayed home my first 3 yearsm, and my therapist would beg to differ

I get where she is coming from, she grow up poor and don't want to be there again in her life, with a baby. She is right to be afraid.

She’s in an amazing place to have kids lol but I totally understand giving up the reigns especially since she’s killing it money wise! But I don’t even make this much and we’re on our third child lol let go and let God girl! You guys are in an amazing place!

Hypergamy

When john said, "go ahead and tell your husband to give up his passion and find a job that makes more money so that I can go out to eat and not have to worry" went right over her head!!!! 😢i hope she looks back at this and finds the will to treat him better.

Dr. John's assumptions on this caller are wild. He is jumping into conclusions with no real data.

In 6 and a half years (mid-2016-November 2021), on my husband’s income that ranged from a year gross of $42k-$52k, we paid off $115k of debt (not including mortgage). Then we sold our home and immediately purchased another home with a 15 year mortgage. We are on track to paying it off within 5 years... and my husband doesn’t even make a gross yearly of $60k. No welfare, no subsidies. It’s not so much about how much this caller’s husband makes, as how much SHE is going to spend.

we had 3 kids making 80g total. i stayed home and did daycare for the 3 primary years after youngest was born. he is now graduating with his masters. none of them have been in trouble or arrested. theyve had speeding tix. their great kids. i have a 700 000 house almost paid off and a retirement account. it can be scary but if something comes up get a side gig go back to work or just dont have kids.

Does anyone know what episode she was on before? If she is the one I'm thinking of she exhausted me on the last call too. 😂. In all seriousness I'm concerned about the way she speaks about having a baby. She is a high earner, high motivation. I don't know that being a stay at home mom is going to work for her mentally. It sounds like she wants to do it only because its what she read was best for the kid vs what she truly wants to do.

Ngl. I'm in a whole new career field because of the very same things said to me from an ex-gf. I was a teacher and when the same stuff was said to me, I started to resent my passion. She was someone I really looked at for marriage at the time. When it ended with us, she married a lawyer. It's been years and I won't even consider dating until I figure out how to get to those higher salaries. That's serious trauma a woman can do to her significant other. It makes a man feel insignificant and unlovable because of his bank account.

This woman is NOT ready for motherhood

I’m gonna have to disagree that 70 thousand dollars a year is responsible to intentionally raise a family on. As much as money can’t buy love, Love can’t pay the mortgage or the unexpected expense. It’s irresponsible to bring a child into a home with minimal income especially when there’s literally 0 reason he cannot find a better paying position.

Imagine being married to this woman. Jeezus 😂

70,000 is fine especially with a good man. She should be grateful

3:00 ya know who else was terrific in sales? Chris Watt’s wife. But she couldn’t read her own husband. (Rest in Peace)

No matter what women don’t respect men who make less than them. People would pray to have her problems. She needs to sit back and look at her blessings.

Nah. 70 grand is hard to live on. Yall trippin

I'm not gonna leave my husband? That was an option on the table?

Great video Hans. A natural way to get rid of too much algae!

If everyone waited until they could "afford to have kids", there would be no kids on this earth. She needs to learn money doesn't fix everything. My husband and I made this mistake. Thinking we should have only one kid so we could give them more. Children are a gift from God. Life is a gift. Not something to overthink and negotiate.

I feel like she could cut back and work part time, and they would still have enough money coming in to live comfortably. I do think the core issue is that for whatever reason she doesn’t respect her husband, and she thinks him earning a certain amount is going to bring that respect…

We had our first baby on one $30K income. Less by today’s equivalent than a public school teacher makes. Then had another baby per year for several years all on one income. CHILDREN ARE A GIFT FOROM THE LORD. ❤

I love when Dr John slapped back with "hey, i know you're good at sales- Dont do that to me" 😳👏🏼👏🏼 cmon

Having a kid with this man will sabotage everything with how she is

Even if their house is paid off, I completely understand being nervous about living off 70k in Palm Beach. I just don't understand why she's set on being a stay-at-home mom. Wouldn't it make more sense in this situation for Dad to stay home?

She is good!!! Smart thinking about money.

The longer this call went on, the crazier and more selfish this lady seemed. I feel bad for the husband.

I feel like this is not as big of a deal as she's making it. Why not just work for 2 more years and save 100k as a "baby fund" in a high interest savings account, and by then their house would be fully paid off and they'd have an additional financial cushion so she could stay home like she wants to. I just solved the problem in 5 minutes and no one had to compromise a thing. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Several things missing from this conversation. 1. Some babies are ok in daycare but many are not. They don’t get the close attention that babies need to form secure attachments to grow and develop into healthy people. 2. A woman’s body is flooded w hormones after childbirth, it’s impossible to explain, it has to be experienced. It’s the most profound change that can happen in a woman’s life. She has no idea how having a baby will revolutionize her entire being. It’s a great thing. 3. You retire from work, you have nothing from that part of your life but family is permanent. Nothing can replace family

She doesnt want to rely on her husband. Theres more to this than shes letting on

Before children are brought into the home he should leave. There’s going to be no pleasing her.

She has zero respect for him because she feels shes the man, just listen to her. Poor dude but he should stay off the soy too.

Here's a thought. If she's such a go-getter badass then she can figure out how to make the extra 30 grand at home in her spare time. OR she can really hustle and make a bunch of extra cash for atleast a year to create the 30 grand a year buffer that she wants for the first 3 years that's only 90 grand. At 170 grand a year she would just have to put a little over half of that away! Dr. John was right. She doesn't respect her husband at all. Saying that he should just simply "pivot" into a higher paying job is ridiculous! She claims that money has solved all of her problems which shows that while she can sell ice to an Eskimo, she's got absolutely no idea how much money can't buy. She also believes that tomorrow will be just like today where she and her husband are in perfect health. She thinks that she can raise the perfect child as if it is just a computer that runs programs she tells it to run. She is way too immature to raise a child. Just because you can make lots of money doesn't mean you're fit to be a parent.

30K is stopping her from having kids? You should have discussed this while dating. There's more to the story.

Sorry, but the honest truth is…she wants to drive a huge SUV, wear Lululemon everyday, eat out as often as possible and have time to make homemade vegan snacks for her kids if she wants to. The budget life wouldn’t last five minutes for this couple! She will not be happy and that’s okay. She just has to make a decision. She is a high earner that is accustomed to living at a level in which she can maintain all on her own.

I know people that make 60k and have one person that stays at home and have multiple kids and are doing great with no issues.

She just wants a reason to stay home, otherwise she’d suggest that she keep working and he stay home with the kid(s) since she earns significantly more.

Lifestyle inflation. She doesn't want to go back to a lower-middle class family income.

Damn. I feel aweful for the husband. Imagine knowing your significant other doesn't respect you because your not in the top 5% of earners.

She 100% doesn’t respect him for earning less than him. Pretty sad to see him working a passionate job with a solid wage and she clearly looks at him like a freeloader.

She needs to get off instagram and live within her means

I feel like John should have asked her if she actually WANTS a child. She doesn't sound like she wants to be a mother really badly. It sounds like she feels like it's something she's just supposed to do ...and she's trying to plan for it with logic instead of in the mindset of love and nurture.

I'm glad that I'm single. I wouldn't want to give up my job that pays $60K a year, is only four days a week, and is full-time.

What type of sales does she do?

Why can't her husband stay home? She keeps her job. Or both of you work, and u hire a live-in nanny bcuz u ma'am want to maintain ur financial status. The fact that she didn't realize that what she said to her husband was harmful 😢 is very telling.

Absolutely disagree I went back to work when my son was 18 weeks old. He is smart, successful loves his family. He was in daycare until kindergarten , 13 years school, 7 years university VP of his company , a great husband and father. He is well rounded and a kind human.

This woman does not want to have a child, she just thinks that she is supposed to do so.

If she makes $170K a year and believes her household can live off $100K with an extra person, why isn't she saving now? Why isn't she budgeting as if they have a $100K household?

70k and he's in the Environmental field?thats really good..most environmentl jobs pay 40-45k

This lady is so high strung. I can feel my anxiety rising just listening to her.

She'll never be satisfied in her life.

I feel so sorry for her husband.

This lady isn’t even considering the fact that she’s also basically demanding her husband to be okay with giving up $170K of their household income. Props to John for calling her out on her nonsense.

No amount of money wil calm her anxiety. So sad...