I Finally Read Artemis Fowl 

I loved the overall joke of the book’s plot that it was basically about an irish kid catching a leprechaun to get gold.

Book Artemis: Cold, calculated villain with room to grow as a person. Movie Artemis: The Gifted Kid™ with trauma™ who's just misunderstood ™

Not having Artemis being a criminal is like Harry Potter not being a wizard.

Another thing about the books, while Artemis is clearly the antagonist, the Fairy people aren't exactly better, basically for the entirety of the book they are actively trying to kill him, and they plan to literally nuke his house and kill innocent people all just to get artemis.

Another detail that shows how little they cared about the book is, in the books, there is a fairy alphabet. There was actually always a text at the bottom of each page that gave a hint about the next book that we could decode. The film instead used gibberish.

“It appears to be an adaptation of book 1” Always a great sign when you’re not entirely sure what book the movie is adapting.

I got so upset when she said, "Hi, I'm Holly Short, your ally on the other side." in the trailer. The best part of the series was the growth of that relationship. That and the fact that Mulch was working for Fowl Senior are infuriating despite how long it's been since I read the books.

Hey, just an important note: The first book makes it clear Artemis has been quickly spending the remaining family fortune to find his father. Thats a HUGE difference from just wanting more money for his family.

Re-reading the books after this video, and I just noticed that the line in the trailer 'Better scared than dead' IS in the book. ...except Fowl isn't talking about himself. He's explaining what he wants done to fairy intruders to his mansion. He wants them scared off, not killed, to send a message. It's fucking abysmal how much the line's been slaughtered.

As soon as the trailer showed Artemis surfing I knew it wasn't going to be a very accurate adaptation. Artemis being incredibly physically unfit is a major character trait and a plot point in several books. And the gradually reformed villain protagonist is the entire selling point of the books. They basically removed what made the story Artemis Fowl.

The Fans: this movie is nothing like the books Disney: there are books?

Dear Artemis Fowl Fandom, We're so sorry about your movie adaptation. We thought our movie was bad, but at least it stuck to the *barest morsels* of the original plot and characters. Our hearts ache for you, no one should have to go through the despair that we did. Maybe you can eventually bully the creators into making a faithful TV adaptation like we eventually did??? Love, The Percy Jackson Fandom

Here's what REALLY happened; Disney: "Been awhile since we've adapted a children's adventure. This Artemis Fowl thing has been floating around awhile, let's buy it!" Colfer: "Thanks!" Disney: "Now let's make our hero movie!" Colfer: "You know Artemis is a bad guy in the first book, right?" Disney: "... wait.. what?"

I met Colfer at my bookshop where I helped with his signing, and did some good rowdy jokes with him, I am a big fan, and he is the sweetest author I've met to date. A fan came wayyyyyy late, everything was gone, but Colfer and his publisher agent were still hanging out talking to us so she approached us... And he recognised her off of her Insta! (tbf she had very brightly coloured hair too). She right about lost it and had a long chat with him. She was clearly super passionate. Cue to some minutes later, Colfer asks me "did you keep that last fan in reserve just to make me feel nice?" mentioned he recognised her, was super glad she'd made it in time, etc, being a sweetheart. He then left and I proceeded to get to work re-aranging the tables after the event... I bumped then into that woman, the fan... And when I said "Oh, Mr Colfer said..." and related his words, she JUMPED. Like you see in anime you know? Like little kids do, with her feet flying up. She was late twenties and that made her so giddy she bounced lol. Never had a customer more please. I got so many thanks layered on me and I wasn't even the event manager. What a happy day all around.

The movie trailer can be summed up in one word. D'Arvit

Anyone who thinks Artemis isn't a relatable character, has never been caught between the knowledge that you need to work out more and the complete lack of interest in actually doing so

To quote Neil Gaiman: "It's pronounced 'Owen', so stop making that noise like a car wooshing past you at the Grand Prix."

To all the Artemis Fowl fans out there: The Percy Jackson fans feel your pain. We've been there, it sucks. At least there's still the books.

I’ve never read Artemis Fowl myself, but as a Percy Jackson fan who had the same thing happen I really feel for the Fowl fans.

The best part of Artemis Fowl was that he was literally a Mary Sue well-rounded antagonist, except he started catching morals and became a hot mess of a good person after a number of books. Think about it: he's a genius, he's incredibly rich, he comes from a criminal family, he has a tragic backstory, he has that one person he seems to care about despite everything, and he has some crazy good tech and bodyguards. He's a very good but very stereotypical villain, except he's the protagonist and it's wonderful, and his character development is insane and insanely good as he goes from bad guy to good guy. In the time travel book you literally get a side by side comparison of current Artemis vs first book Artemis, and it's amazing.

I'm not sure what it says about me, Dom or my familiarity with him that I fully expected him to be polishing an actual sword after a cut and only realized it could be an innuendo when he mentioned it XD

You mentioned how Commander Root was gender flipped, removing the fact that Holly is the first female LEPrecon member, but I just want to point out how in the books, Root was originally suspected of being sexist towards her with how hard he pushed her, and later it's revealed that he A: Wanted to make sure Holly is good enough, to make sure she Doesn't badly represent the idea of female LEPrecon members, and B: Threatened his bosses that he'd quit if they tried to stop her from getting hired based on her gender. Holly's discovery of this was a major character arc between the two, and that first point explains and deconstructs WHY Root was such a stereotypical hardass boss who'd constantly demand perfection from her. But nah, let's throw all that out... Some executive probably thought genderflipping a person in charge would be "That progressive thing I keep hearing about" so threw out the entire story arc about a woman breaking the glass ceiling in an actually sexist society... Good Job Disney.

I love Artemis Fowl as a child. He was my first introduction into the anti-hero. The fact that the main selling point of the book no longer exists, is... I mean what's even the point of making a movie adaptation if the main plot doesn't exist?

The trailer was not misleading. The film was utter, utter trash

ugh, the whole point is that he's the villain from the get-go. He's the anti-Harry Potter, that's what made the books so good.

"Artemis needs to be good before he can be bad." Prince Zuko: Am I a joke to you?

As an irish Fowl fan, you did not garble it. I am astounded Dom.

So. When the casting call first came out, I remember ranting about the words they used to describe Artemis. I opened my very old copy of the first book (it's so old, it has the old glittery cover and everything, holy shit I just checked, it's almost 20 years old, guys this story was published almost 20 years ago and this is how our love for this lil gremlin child genius is repaid), and read the prologue. And guys. I think you all know what I'm going to say... Clearly anyone who worked on this film didn't even read that. In the first PARAGRAPH of the PROLOGUE, it talks about how he sent the greatest medical minds gibbering back to their own hospitals. That's not a good person. In the slightest. And in the first chapter, he literally talks about how Butler could kill Nguyen a hundred different ways without the use of his armoury. I just. The book clearly displays why Artemis is not the good guy. Artemis Fowl's journey was always about him becoming better as the books go on. At first, he's pretty much forced to work with Holly over and over to her dismay. He discovers not everything is as it seems. I don't know, there's just a lot I'm mad about. The biggest tragedy is that we're probably losing out on Holly and Artemis's rivalry, and the realisation now I'm older that Holly, an adult fairy, has a rivalry with a human child. It's hilarious. (I kid, the biggest tragedy is this is just a train wreck and I hope Disney is prepared for Artemis Fowl fans to be disappointed everywhere.)

It's been ages since I read the Artemis Fowl books, but my immediate reaction to the trailer was "Why isn't this kid a snarky little asshole?"

A day after watching the trailer, I realized what happened. They are making an adaptation of a tried and tested story, but that story isn't Artemis Fowl- it's Spy Kids. Parent(s) disappear, but it turns out that they were kidnapped by a mysterious entity because they've been leading a double-life of mystery without their child(ren)'s knowledge. The kidnapping, however, prompts a guardian figure to draw the child(ren) into the center of their parent(s) double-life, granting them the resources needed to rescue the parent(s) and save the day.

Artemis Fowl fans: "This movie looks horrible!" Percy Jackson fans: "First time?"

they literally just had to make diehard with fairies but that was too complicated apparently

I'm a person who has zero exposure to the books. *hears Dom talk about the plot* I mean, that seems like a pretty nice small-scale and easy thing to adapt, what could they possibly do to mess up something that simple? *watches trailer* Oh. Oooooh. Oh jeez. Oooooooooooooh. Oh God, I'm so sorry Artemis Fowl fans. I'm so very sorry. That... that really sucks for you... God, what happened?

You didn’t mention the best character, Foaly, who is single handedly keeping fairy technology ahead of human technology. Plus, he would use a vpn, so it gives a great segue

Mr. Colfer: shows the reders respect Disney: doesn't want to confuse dumb children with the concept of morally gray characters as the lead

Butler: Artemis, what's wrong? Artemis: LOLLIPOPS!

I think Disney didn’t want to take any story risks - except that was a great deal of what made up, you know, the whole story. Immoral main character, rampant sexism, mental illness and family issues. Artemis Fowl was good because it actually talked about those things. I know it’s The Brand™️, but Disney needs to stop cleaning up all the stories that it makes movies out of to the point of removing all substance.

Title: I finally read Artemis Fowl Me: Ah, don't feel bad, it's something that can't be said for the director of the movie.

For everyone who's has had a childhood favourite book butchered by hollywood: I'm sorry Artemis Fowl fans

I did not spend my 6th grade summer learing Gnommish and translating every page from every book available to me at the time for them to put random gibberish instead!!! This was the book series that got me into books and love reading! The second I saw the trailer for the movie I was heartbroken

This was the series that helped me get into reading. Being severely dyslexic I always struggled reading but Colfer's writing style and witty language made it possible for me. It's been my favourite series since I read the first book at age 12 back in 2005. It still is to this day and well I'm not overly optimistic about the cinematic adaptation.

"Reactions to the trailer ranged from bad to heartbroken" You missed APOPLECTIC RAGE OF THE SORT THAT MAKES ROOT LOOK LIKE A ZEN BUDDHIST

"Respecting your audience's intelligence" should be an engraved in stone rule.

I still can't believe how much the characters got butchered, especially Artemis, root, opal, and Butler. ESPECIALLY Butler, I mean, in the books he literally beats the shit out of the troll with his bare hands

I didn't read the series until I was an adult. I was going through a young adult phase because I needed books I could read in between customers at work. Most of the books I read during that time were kind of dumb. But Artemis Fowl surprised me. It felt like a very complex adult book that had been cut down for a younger audience. But not in a terrible way. The main character was not some simple kid who suddenly is magic or such. He was a child who was raised for greatness and felt slighted. He had a certain amount of moral compass, but was not above getting his hands dirty to get what he wanted. It was rather brilliant since it strayed so far from the tropes that have dominated fantasy young adult for so long. The world was well developed and believable. It left me a then 35 year old man devouring the books as I bought them. And yet were accessible enough to younger readers to have a huge following. Now this trailer shows me a complete lack of understanding over what made this series a best seller. In my opinion Covid likely did Disney a huge favor as direct to streaming will likely save them the huge flop I expect it to be.

It feels like when we first saw the trailer for Death Note. Everyone complained and people in charge kept saying it was an over reaction and wept over how mean people were when they triiiiiied to be true to the booooks. Then it came out and it was as terrible as everyone thought it would be. If not worse.

When I first saw the trailer all I could think of was 'If you want to tell your own story, TELL IT, don't hijack someone else's.' It made me so upset to see them ignoring all the fantasy and excelent characters for generic schlock.

Good news: trailer wasnt accurate Bad news: movie was much, much worse

I'll say it again: I'm glad Bartimaeus was never adapted into a movie or show seeing what happened to Eragon, Fowl, Percy Jackson, and the like. I'm glad Harry escaped almost unscathed

Me before seeing the trailer: Ah, how bad could it be really? Me after seeing the trailer: Percy Jackson has some competition and I am angy

I’m so glad Dom is enjoying Artemis Fowl- they were a wonderful read and still held my attention when i decided to re-read them as an adult. The Septimus Heap books, or at least the first 3 or so, hold a similar place in my heart.

In the books Butler was called Butler, and was part of a group that trained elite bodyguards, and were forbidden from using their actual names so that they don't relax too much around their charges, and it led to a really nice moment where Butler introduced himself when he thought he was going to die. Also: Did anyone else learn to read the languages? I learned Centaur.

True story here: I live in Ireland and I was really excited when I heard about the movie. I was a big fan of the books growing up. (Not as much as Percy Jackson but still a big fan) I was even more excited when I heard about auditions being held close to where I lived. I was one year too old but I look young and I otherwise looked the part. My mom drove me to the audition, and even though I had years of acting experience under my belt, as you can probably guess I didn't get the role. Looking at the two trailers though, I am glad I didn't get the role (although I do hope that poor kid doesn't get bullied online. I met him at the audition and he was a really nice guy)

"Isn't that one of the biggest advantages to an adaptation? You know the story will be popular because it already _is_. It's tried and tested already!" This is my mantra every time I see an adaptation that strays massively from the source material, especially if there hasn't been (at least a widely known) faithful adaption before. Why do studios so rarely trust the stories they've deemed worthy of adapting? I understand that changes have to be made, but so often the changes that are made make it seem like the studios just can't trust the story!

So Zootopia looks to be a better version of Hollie's story than Disney's actual adaption?

The way I've pitched the first book (to avoid spoiling the whole series) is to imagine a young James Moriarty who learns that fairies are real and uses this knowledge to exploit them.

Disney f***ing up a well written cherished series? Hmm. Must be a day that ends in 'y'.

I’m going to be honest. I didn’t know the movie was coming out, but from how you describe it I think my heart sank. Why change Artemis? He was such a fun character already!

Why is everybody comparing this to Percy Jackson? Its clearly competing against Eragon for the Worst Film Adaptation Award

Like if the Artemis Fowl and Percy Jackson movies simply don't exist.

Also, they made Holly white, and her skin is "nut brown" in the book.

A children's book series with a villain protagonist? *Vizzini voice* Inconceivable!

I love this book series, Would anyone else be really interested in seeing the doms reactions as he reads through the series? I would just love to see him do a video on his thoughts after every book because it was such a fun ride and was very good at selling both a genius MC and some good twists. I maintain it as one of my gold standards for being able to actually SHOW and not TELL how smart someone is.

"Yer a Wizard, Artie." It looks like Harry Potter meets Men in Black meets Warehouse 13 meets Spy Kids.

Honestly, whenever I hear that Disney is making an adaptation of a popular book, my expectations fall through the floor. They've proven time and time again that the original source material means very little to them when it comes to making movies. 😩

to be fair... before there even was a trailer, we knew they’d decided that the adult woman described as having “nut brown skin” would be played by a white child so. yeah, hope died early not to mention the casting call for artemis describing the character as fun loving, kind and easy going. how do you even f*ck up that badly?

Why does it feel like this is destined to be a One and Done movie that desperately wanted to be a full movie franchise, but lost what the story special do to a lack of respect for the source materials?

"I'm Holly Short. Your ally from the other side". Huh?! Yowzers I only vaguely remember reading Artemis Fowl...but bloody hell that's all wrong.

...Wow. Artemis Fowl *wishes* he had an adaption faithful as Percy Jackson.

Oh no. Oh *no* I didn't realize the whole genderflipping Root thing until you mentioned it. Way to get rid of another plot point, Disney.

This was Disney’s chance at a “Harry Potter” franchise of their own. Their loss. I hope! Seriously, Disney needs some theatrical bombs in sales so that they’ll realize this half ass approach doesn’t fly. I hope they suffer the way EA is getting shit from the video game community.

Oh boy I can’t wait to refuse to watch this, then watch every single bad review of it out of spite

Looks like this series got the Avatar The Last Airbender treatment.

I read these books as a child, and my little sister eventually read them as well when she grew older - my enjoyment of the series cannot be matched by her LOVE of it. And while I was also pissed off by the trailer, she was so genuinely upset she apparently felt sick. Honestly, the only thing either of us could give the trailer credit for was “Well... they at least got his accent right.” [EDIT] Forgot to add this cause I was so excited to get a comment in early - glad you’re covering this. I told my little sister about your lost in adaptation series and she hoped you would talk about Artemis Fowl at some point

I was 9 and over sensitive when I first read the book and it blew my tiny mind that I was cheering on the villain. Later rereads have made me realise what a fantastic study of grey morality it is. It's a very special book and I'm so sad they're taking that away.

I think part of Arty's development arc starts when Holly punches him. It's the first time someone stood up to him and he didn't have his backup

Gender Swapping root just ruins everything about Holly’s story from the 1st boom

I've never read the series, but the fan reactions to the trailer make me kind of grateful my favorite books are sort of obscure. I may never see my favorite characters brought to life, but I also won't see them utterly eviscerated by greedy Hollywood executives either. My heart goes out to all you Artemis fans.

A good way to describe Artemis would be as having Hermione Granger’s brain and Annabeth Chase’s strategic mind but none of the goodwill. Kinda like a Slytherin Hermione.

You know read the book again after seeing this and see if I still enjoy it now that I'm older, and I found myself reminiscing how much I remembered Artemis and how even though I never saw him as a "good" guy, I mean this is someone who tells his enemies he's evil both in words and actions but I never saw him as someone who is fundamentally bad, even as a kid I saw that his situation was one born more from circumstance and pride, having grown up with stories of his family's illustrious past but living with a shadow of what they once were, he's still a kid though and thats what surprises me re-reading it now, he's as compassionate as he is cunning, while not shown heavily in the first book, all he wants is his mother and father back for things to go back to how they were before he felt he had "grow up" into this evil mastermind, and he latches on to the faint idea that he can rebuild that past bit by bit, seeing getting the family's wealth back as step one. I dunno maybe I put too much thought into this.

Yes to using zuko when talking about a good redemption arc

As Gen Z kid, it's both exciting and horrible to see something you held dears as kid put through Hollywood shite machine to pander your nostalgia for first time.

We need a role in film making where if someone suggests making a change from the book they get hit over the head with a copy of said book.

Imagine of a company like Laika had made Artemis Fowl, it would've been amazing...

And they turned it into a cliche unoriginal children’s adventure movie

When you have to choose between interesting and relatable: you pick interesting! How relatable was Artemis going to be when he lives in a mansion?!

As promotion for the upcoming movie I suppose, some of the actors have taken to reading the book on Periscope. Does it cross their minds that what they're reading and what the movie is (at least, what's known from the trailer and casting) is completely different?

Did they Eragon it? It's sounding like they Eragon'ed it.

Has anyone addressed the fact that Artemis is shown surfing in the trailer? Because we need to talk about this and undo the confused Jackie Chan meme face that I have ever since I saw this.

Artemis: "I'm bad, and that's good! I will never be good, and that's not bad! There is no-one I'd rather be... then me.."

Disney being Disney...no way the protagonist can be the bad guy in a movie for children. Cause kids are dumb and would never understand a redemption arc. Guess no one saw Beauty and the Beast...oh,wait.

Just watched the movie and the only thing I can really think is it is D’Arvit

I loved these books as a teen and tween. It’s a shame that the job title “book slappers” doesn’t exist in Hollywood. I remember the first three books by heart

Me: Oh yeah, I remember Artemis Fowl Dominic: *describes the plot* Me: Oh my god I do not remember Artemis Fowl

The movie looks like it’s going to be like the original A Series of Unfortunate Events movie Edit: I did not expect to get so many responses so quickly, and I should clarify that I meant multiple books made into one movie

Artemis Fowl is a bad guy, or so morally Grey he's fairly in the black.

Disney: villains aren't likeable! The Disney Princess animated movies (barring Frozen): What am I, chopped liver? Tamatoa: No, that's what I am

The absolute excitement I felt at seeing a trailer for the film and then the crushing disappointment after watching it was one of the biggest emotional roller coasts I have ever had. God, I was so upset. You can be upset from the casting ALONE, and that's not even getting into the trailers themselves

I was so excited when I heard there would be a movie. For about two seconds. Then I saw the trailer. I remember picking up the first Artemis as a kid at our local library, where I was not only sort of the resident oddball, but also was responsible for about 10% of all the books being lend out every week. I loved the story and recommended it to my parents, who also fell in love with the humor and the unique world. I hate how Studios think that just because a book frenchise has a following, they are free to make a crappy movie adaptation and can still make a quick cash grab. It's so disrespectful towards both the fans and the author

I’m really sad that yet another favorite series of mine has a horrible movie adaptation. Artemis Fowl has always been such an important series to me. In the realm of YA, most books have clear good guys and bad guys. Maybe there’s the occasional plot twist where a character is in the gray area, but it’s unusual. I love how Eoin Colfer doesn’t talk down to his audience or treat kids as stupid. You never get the feeling that it’s a kids book. Artemis is such a compelling character because he’s not good or bad. I loved him from the first chapter. He’s so complex and enthralling. I rooted for him from the start, even though he was “bad”. It’s really nice to have a character with a conscience who’s very ambitious. I hate how Disney treats their audience like idiots and has STILL somehow not realized that if you stay true to the books the movies do way better. The only people who would like that movie are people who haven’t read the books yet feel like watching the movie. But they just lost at least thousands of people who read the books and would have gone if the movie had been true to the books.