I'm crushing my own dreams for good

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y'all mind if i upload a manifesto.. Get $20 off your Brooklinen order over $100 -- click here bit.ly/BrooklinenKatherout and enter my promo code Katherout.
the curse of wanting too much!! i'm getting sick of dreaming!!
mentions:
- original exposé on my recovery: • I'm in recovery after ...
- i no longer aspire to have a career: • I no longer aspire to ...
- your dreams were sold to you: • your dreams were sold ...
- quitting my job: • I quiet quit my job.
- moving closer to my friends: • the internet told me t...
- everyday utopia by kristen ghodsee: www.simonandschuster.com/book...
🎈 monthly bonus confessional videos: / katherout
🎙️ podkath: ‪@revelatoriumpod‬
🌞 tiktok: / katherout
⚡️instagram: / katherout
🥝 spotify: open.spotify.com/user/1225150...
🌀 twitter: / katherout
🔮 ask me: kather0ut.tumblr.com/ask
TIME STAMPS //
0:00 - fessing up
3:20 - a deal for you!
4:46 - catching you up
11:01 - following my dreams
13:26 - barriers to recovery
16:30 - the contagion of high standards
23:15 - where do we go now
Get $20 off your first Getaround trip: www.getaround.com/invite/6103...
Get $50 of Gigcar credit: gigcarshare.app.link/F8QcobNvJvb
she/her.
BUSINESS INQUIRIES: katherout@gmail.com
This video is kindly sponsored by Brooklinen.

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Опубликовано:

26 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 125

@nitzans 4 месяца назад

I love the fact that you straightend you hair for this one. She's gone method

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

HAHHAHAHAHAH

@blakeisslaying 4 месяца назад

I came to make this comment and im so glad im not the only one 👏🏼

@astridrojass 4 месяца назад

“now that you don’t have to be perfect you can be good.”

@simiforbreakfast 4 месяца назад

fleabag jumpsuit is going crazy!!

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

and it always does... universally flattering

@Taylor-di1rv 4 месяца назад

And on the positive nihilist other side of the coin: nothing else is easier, nowhere else is better, all your current flaws will trade off for other flaws in any other scenario so might as well satiate yourself in who/what/where you are now 🦕🌸

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

omg never heard of positive nihilism

@ZaidsMusic 4 месяца назад

DUDEEE how are these vids always so timely - perfectionism is such a beast to grapple with already, then add self-employment on top of that and 💥💥💥 heavy emphasis on the feeling inadequate for not having an “ideal” level of executive function ??? a wonderfully validating, introspective watch as always 💌

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

THANK U king zaid

@Rachel-ov2bg 4 месяца назад

Wow, I love the format/storytelling in this video. 10/10

@tiffanyferg 3 месяца назад

the clothespin video screenshots! agh this video was shot beautifully. Love you and the way you share!! 💛💛💛

@justsmilelaet 4 месяца назад

Incredible video, thank you! Stunning outfit changes, amazing editing, impeccable reflexions. Very relatable as a perfectionist anticapitalist with very contradictory emotions and dreams lol

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

@el_chivo99 Месяц назад

as someone who also deals with chronic perfectionism and ambition, I will say that my path toward self betterment never really started until I came to terms with that fact that all that was rooted entirely in my own ego. if you compare yourself with others, it’s a sign that you want to be better than or above others in some way. it can be difficult to let this go

@AA-lj1pi 4 месяца назад

Love this format. It's giving Contrapoints

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

i really just wanted to show you guys the corners of my apartment real bad

@mylene_b 4 месяца назад

I love Contrapoints

@0bsidianeyes 4 месяца назад

I’ve been trying to be more aware of my perfectionism and it’s surprising some of the places it sneaks in under the radar! One way I realized recently is that I had this belief that there is a “right” or “perfect” way of doing things. Even for things like doing errands. I didn’t want to do them unless I was able to string a series of tasks together in the most optimal way. I’ve been giving myself permission to do tasks imperfectly. And reminding myself there are many different and valid ways to complete something. And ultimately completing something is often the goal, how it’s done is secondary, or even irrelevant.

@kurthummelstan 4 месяца назад

i totally relate to this!! i was having such trouble texting people back, and it took me a while of setting down and really thinking about it before i realized that i was being a perfectionist and was waiting to text back until i had the "right" response. perfectionism really is the scooby doo villain that you're constantly unmasking

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

optimization culture will be our RUINNN

@altosaxplayer63 4 месяца назад

@@Katherout ooh what is optimization culture? I feel like I have it myself to a fault but I've never thought about how it may plague society as a whole

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

@@altosaxplayer63 jia tolentino has a great essay on it ! if it's not online it's in her book trick mirror

@alexveenstra2157 4 месяца назад

I highly enjoyed the dramatic outfit changes in this one, really added a flair!

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

so nice to get the drama off the hangers for once!

@alexguterbock3542 4 месяца назад

UGH my heart hurts because I relate on a deeply spiritual level... the constant hamster wheel of not enoughness is truly exhausting and it can feel equally as scary to get off of it if you have operated that way for so long. Recovery is possible!!! Know that you are perfect and complete exactly as you are in this moment and any achievements or extra things are just an added bonus 💓

@allyson-- 4 месяца назад

I feel so much hope watching your ambition & creativity transform as your values shift. And I am warmed by folks so openly sharing their experiences in the comment section. Often times, hearing everyone's thoughts helps me bridge my mind to a place that's preferrable to inhabit. To me, it's always a worthwhile experience to be on this channel. 🌅 Keep walking.

@allyson-- 4 месяца назад

Was "Finish Him" a reference to something? Bull Believer by Wednesday? 🤔

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

@@allyson-- hahahah no just what villains always seemed to say in like kim possible

@BrielleJuliet 4 месяца назад

Really excited for this one and I love all the different shots and the editing

@L0VEisAmixtape 4 месяца назад

Hi Katherine. I just wanna say i REALLY REALLY genuinely appreciate your deconstruction & healing of your corporate trauma. This needs to be more openly discussed.

@AnneleenRoesems 4 месяца назад

This is such a great video. The message, the cinematography, the editing. Top notch!

@johnlevine3384 4 месяца назад

Really insightful video! Thanks for sharing your perspectives over time!

@youmeteacofeee 4 месяца назад

Your videos, you yourself, brings me so much joy. What a chapter

@jordanwagner311 2 месяца назад

Youre glowing!!

@ClaudiaOfTheWorld 4 месяца назад

oof i felt this deeply. i really needed to see this video!

@dmd2803 4 месяца назад

Your hair is amazing!

@DreamLogicAI 4 месяца назад

Thanks for the good work, fellow

@mariafernandatarazon409 4 месяца назад

Your videos are my therapy because I am going through the same. We need more videos!!❤

@DhruvDonkey 4 месяца назад

OMG overworked Pisces Trojans where you at 🙈 I felt so good about the work until the work consumed everything in my life 😭 Thanks for holding a mirror to me, Katherine 🙏🏽

@stephanimeyers9570 4 месяца назад

Living your values yassss girl

@heatherlarissaharo9166 4 месяца назад

I loved that Eduardo Galeano quote. I would love a video about what your favorite reads have been in your radicalization journey

@Soussand 4 месяца назад

The hair and the makeup! Thoughtful 😊

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

appreciate that you appreciated!

@vanja8018 4 месяца назад

I truly am so grateful for this piece! I’m only halfway, and you’ve articulated exactly how I’ve been feeling lately! specifically this week. I got an email that I did one tiny thing wrong, and the perfectionist in me LEAPED out. I haven’t felt so much grief/hate and sadness towards myself in such a long time, nevermind over something so trivial. This helped me move through so much of the justifications and context, thank u thank u thank u ♡

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

criticism hurts but we will heal!!!

@jaigonzales3178 4 месяца назад

Last night my partner told me that they were talking with a friend of theirs about me and the friend said “it sounds like Jai is living in the future”. And I can’t stop thinking about it. It never feels like anything I do is enough and it’s exhausting. This video came at a good time, thank you.

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

omg the future howso?

@jaigonzales3178 4 месяца назад

It’s like I can never be content with where I am right now, I’m always thinking about what I’m going to do next and how I’m going to do it better. I just started a year long internship and I’m already feeling anxious about how I’m going to do a great job at work the next day and what I’m gonna do when the internship is over. Does that makes sense?

@nimla 2 месяца назад

@@jaigonzales3178 I feel the same ! Always thinking about the "next move". A friend of mine said : it's like being in the waiting room of life. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll never feel content, even with the job, the home etc.

@astridrojass 4 месяца назад

LIGHTTTINGG

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

i set it up for once!!!

@AislingBlack 2 месяца назад

This is the exact video I needed today. I suffer from crippling perfectionism and I'm trying so hard to disentangle myself from it. I feel like no one understands what I am going through.

@ailishburden2333 4 месяца назад

Loved the video and your fancy outfits! You looked so cool lying on your couch. I'm a perfectionist about sharing my full self with people. I'm striving towards being more and more known by others and having no shame. Even though not having shame is a value I genuinely believe in, I noticed myself being hard on myself for not being "completely shame free" already.

@allyson-- 4 месяца назад

I feel this

@Cheer4Life825 4 месяца назад

I really appreciate this beautiful video. I also am addicted to being a high achieving person. But I am slowly learning to give myself the same grace I give to others. One thing I’ve become perfectionistic about is my yoga practice lol

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

omg nooooo not yoga. they're always like this is a personal practice but still i'm like damn how is that person doing an inversion like that hahahah

@Melisssssa27 4 месяца назад

That black jumpsuit (?) the shot where you’re siting down next to the Outdoor Voices bag looks great on you

@HaliLand 4 месяца назад

I've always felt like a perfectionist while having a difficult time pinpointing anything I'm actually near perfect at. I struggled with academic anxiety my whole life. Graduated college a year ago(?) or 2(?) and have since made great effort to heal my anxiety about needing the best grades I could get. With undiagnosed adhd I struggled to be as good as I thought I had to be and kept pushing myself always. I never cared about Ivy leagues! The college I went to and was happy at didn't require SAT scores, yet I punished myself for getting an average score. I think with my learning differences, being a perfectionist was a way to punish myself for 'being stupid and lazy' while keeping my head above water.

@slena 4 месяца назад

yeah i think the paradox of perfectionism is that you spend a lot of time thinking stuff like "well i've never Actually done anything perfectly" when a non perfectionist doesn't even have an expectation of themselves doing things perfectly. i had a lot of mental health struggles in college and i spent so long thinking that i didn't 'live up to my potential' or do the best i could and i think im starting to make peace with the fact that i did quite literally do the best i could and i was never supposed to to hold myself to the standards ofthe imagined version of myself that did it the "perfect" way. it's hard realising that all this time you were your harshest critic when you needed support more than anything.

@CountOfWoodlands 4 месяца назад

A problem with perfectionism is that it is rarely truly achieved, no matter how gifted or hardworking you may be. This is because, in order for something to be 'perfect,' variables outside of your control need to align in your favor. It is hubris to believe that you can achieve perfection solely through hard work and skill. Often, there are external forces at play that you have no control over. It may even be the case that the more you strive for perfectionism, the more you fall short of your actual potential, probably also due to the unnecessary constant stress that you impose on yourself through this perfectionism. There is trying your best, and there is trying too much..

@hanatom7841 4 месяца назад

Feel that so much❤

@astridrojass 4 месяца назад

titles so good

@hannahsmith8164 4 месяца назад

Loved the vid! So timely in my own life! Would love the link to the module will poke around the interwebs for it!

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

it's called perfectionism in perspective from the centre for clinical interventions!

@mariafernandatarazon409 4 месяца назад

I always stay until the end just to hear the “Katherout”❤

@medkip 4 месяца назад

my partner and i regularly commiserate over our shared "urge to optimize" 😭 i'm perfectionistic af, we're both idealistic but also often impulsively change things up for novelty/improvement :^)

@annaisbananas143 4 месяца назад

WOW it's as if you've got an earpeice on my inner dialogue! I've been grappling with a recently uncovered believe of mine that being a good person means pursuit of one's personal utopia. Seems potentially fine on the surface, but UNFORCH that also means that rest makes me feel like a bad person. I loved your hopeful take on perfectionism - it was very validating and weirdly comforting.

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

UNFORCH!!!!

@dameazize 4 месяца назад

You can't dress so perfect in these videos! How am I supposed to pay attention when all I can focus on is the aesthetic!!!

@BelaCurcio 3 месяца назад

I never judged you by the same standards as youtubers whose goals are to wrangle the algorithm, go viral and grow their subscribers. It was always clear that you were trying to make art. You don't have to justify that, it's so honorable to be that type of creative person or even aspire to be. And people keep subscribing anyway so-

@joyliu2244 4 месяца назад

Love your vids! Btw is this dress from Aritizia?? I might have the same but in light blue!! On a serious note, I resonant so much from this video and sometimes out of nowhere I would be feeling so self-conscious of "not hanging out with more people" or "not doing any social activity on the weekend except with my bf"...but after watching this video, you made me realize that I've somehow brainwashed myself with other people's judgement and standards (that are almost always from social media) and then judged myself for it for no reason. I love how at the end of the video you talked about reflecting what you've done over the past month, and honestly, it truly puts things into perspective and be content with what I been through and tried to do.

@CountOfWoodlands 4 месяца назад

"When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, what will I be Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me Que sera, sera Whatever will be, will be The future's not ours to see Que sera, sera What will be, will be" - Doris Day

@SyreLikeAFire 4 месяца назад

Obsessed with the fancy dressing for this vid 🫨 ((pls no one invite kath to a wedding;))

@kaielyse9313 4 месяца назад

In full support of the dressy clothes in videos. 🙌🏿

@--rheu2345 4 месяца назад

u look gooddd 🫶🏽 love the flower earrings

@ClaudiaDCD 4 месяца назад

I love the idea of creative hygiene. I definitely connect to that idea of creativity needing an ongoing flow, a minimum but also cleansing kind of, get it out there, energy, manipulate the creative gene. I was just thinking of doing that with poetry writing, like at least manipulate a few words a day, other than Journaling, because that feels more like just mental hygiene for me, not creative hygiene. Was just thinking of the goals and utopia vision being a horizon and not a place to sit in. Reminds me of the idea of love being ongoing actions, not a thing to have. So maybe our goals can switch to ongoing actions: instead of written x amount of books, just writing, ongoing writing. (At least for me.)

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

it feels very cleansing to put out a period piece like this that represents where i'm at in space and time. and to have so many of these to look back at for retrospective vids like these

@catcreme 4 месяца назад

the osmosis thing is so real. omg the past few years i've developed such an unhealthy view of myself, by looking at other people's standards that don't align with my own vision of my life and feeling guilty when i didn't reach an imaginary standard. "if they're not expecting perfection then why am i trying to deliver it" i think it's a symptom of being an overachiever since childhood and transitioning to an average achiever and putting too much pressure on myself when people genuinely don't care. But not in a bad way, everyone has their own goals and dreams and they don't wait around looking if you achieved yours. it's been a very painful journey for me to pursue things i want and create new standards for my life. I felt so ashamed of not ''reaching my potential'' that i missed two high school reunions.

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

a lot of mine is caught up in how people will view me if i achieve less but you're right oftentimes they're not considering my performance much at all!

@secondjoint 4 месяца назад

“Keep Ithaka always in your mind. Arriving there is what you are destined for. But do not hurry the journey at all. Better if it lasts for years, so you are old by the time you reach the island, wealthy with all you have gained on the way, not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

@curseofcontext 4 месяца назад

is aquarius season a wikipedia season? i'm having a hunch about that

@elliana5728 4 месяца назад

The jumpsuit from FLEABAG !?!! 😍

@curseofcontext 4 месяца назад

2.4 babY haha had a week of unrelenting vent-screaming nightmares after graduation alarmingly so i'm good with that lmao. pressure is pressure after all! think i found your channel through a comment on the purple palace! alway clicking on here and there. love your blush and the cinematographY!! shedding some feelgood tears here! perfectionistic about: chinhair, kitchenscents, amount of nightmares in a row apparently uhh sweatscent, (im)permanence, humor that's in good-faith (my moral panic needs to CALM DOWN orange is the new black is healing me right now), unchapped lips, demand avoidance (working on her).. playing with my cards open AND how impossible it is not to be hypocritical also wonder what the origin of that is? was that hypocrates medical oath dude a hypocrite? ? or is that projection oH projection also big one. also not killing my darlings right, what if i don't want to kill them, what if i don't want them erased and gone! what then..

@eltorocal 4 месяца назад

Wow! You look good here. Don't take that any other way than a simple compliment. You always look good, but... ...Wow.

@cathycupcakes 4 месяца назад

I think this is the only perfectionism module that exists.

@emily_suhr 4 месяца назад

Oh this was a good one. I’ve found myself becoming increasingly perfectionistic about my career, i.e. making sure I’m part of all the relevant associations, looking for jobs that will increase my salary when I’m already content in my current position, etc. (Remember when I literally just said how excited I was to have gotten an interview in book club on Sunday 🥲) This is a good reminder to take stock of how I really feel vs. how much of it is the perfectionism and constant pressure to advance telling me what I “should” do. Also, I’ve started filling out my calendar retroactively to see everything I’ve done for that month and love seeing January all filled out! Such a good idea!

@symbioticmango 4 месяца назад

glad to see you in the good place, bloomer

@nopestoprightthere 4 месяца назад

I saw my strengths finder results last week again and now can not unsee a weakness of the strength of responsibility is "obsessive" 😅😢 if that doesn't describe the curse that is my perfectionism idk what does. I have no chill.

@bethfoster5044 4 месяца назад

If you went back to a corporate job like the one you left, how would you approach that differently? I'd be interested to hear your views on getting away from perfectionism in that environment and setting boundaries. In theory I think it should be easier in that setting than it would be for freelance work, as freelance work is inherently personal, but it's hard to change those behaviours without knowing another way. Loved the video as always.

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

exactly freelance work does feel inherently personal. i'm not sure yet how i'd approach differently i'll let you know when i get there!

@michellelao98 4 месяца назад

Are those forks as earrings because that is so cool and I need to know where you bought them

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

yes and from a consignment shop!

@taylorlien569 4 месяца назад

I don’t know if this is perfectionism probably somewhere but I find myself missing who I was when I was still striving for the things I have now because I miss the potential. That potential feels nonexistent now so I miss who I was before that. Grateful for what I achieved but also feeling as if I was better off striving than achieving in ways that don’t live up

@rn__rina 4 месяца назад

the straightened hair is giving meg ryan as the main character in the 00s romcoms!

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

and conveniently enough she has been my style inspo for the last 2 years..

@sylviaodhner 4 месяца назад

Your thoughts about being a professional RU-vidr resonate with some feelings I've been having about making my art into my career. I've been feeling like that's what I should want, but when it comes down to it, I don't think I really want it, at least not full-time with all the pressure of providing a living for me. And I'm just beginning to realize that, so I've decided to move in a different direction and I feel a lot lighter now. Sometimes professionalizing your passions isn't the best path in life.

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

it feels wrong somehow especially as someone who values creativity a lot! but i've already professionalized this one enough i don't wanna go further!

@sylviaodhner 4 месяца назад

@@Katherout and that's totally okay!

@lizethmezaa 4 месяца назад

is it perfectionism or are u just my good pisces sister

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

what if it's both..

@soupgrl 3 месяца назад

Have you heard of the newish book "The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control" by Katherine Morgan Schafler?? Just read it, and its been super helpful so far with learning how to think about my perfectionism from a new perspective

@dkdoodle 4 месяца назад

It’s not just you. We were born into a hustle culture and Protestant work ethic culture where work is a way to earn yourself a slot into heaven.

@Outofthelimits 4 месяца назад

Uhh why are the first few minutes way too relatable. :|

@stephanimeyers9570 4 месяца назад

Have you looked at OCPD? I recently found out about it

@BelaCurcio 3 месяца назад

not utopia being a stretch goal...

@_squirrelgirl_ 4 месяца назад

This was…revelatory. Got me thinking so much about my past perfectionist insanity. For me, it influenced my ability to connect romantically with people for years. Not only did I hold myself to such high standards that I never felt good enough for love, but I also held potential romantic partners to those standards. If neither of us were up and coming rock stars, it wasn’t happening 😂. Saying it now I can’t believe that’s actually what I thought and it’s so tragic to me now. I see myself and others with so much more empathy and compassion, and that has allowed me to connect so much more easily with others, not just romantically but down to the smallest interactions.

@dwzaphod 4 месяца назад

Some people would say “overachieving “ is commendable, accomplishing more than you thought possible due to grit and hard work. I would think the majority of the top contributors to society are overachievers. I don’t see anything wrong with being successful.

@Katherout 4 месяца назад

when the sweetness of achieving starts to go sour you'll know it

@Atmviola 4 месяца назад

I see what you mean, and I do agree with you up to a point. I think this video will make more sense if you watch some of her older videos from 2020. Katherine’s journey away from perfectionism started after she became very ill from working 12+ hour workdays for her corporate job and thus realized she needed a change