Because I was quite emotinal when doing this video, I feel like I forgot to mention a few things, so I thought I would write some extra words down here if you're intrested in reading more...
I'm feeling embarrassed.
I've tried coming back to RU-vid 2 times before and both times I've failed shortly after.
It doesn't feel great...
But sometimes life's hard. And that's okay.
I think it's important to acknowledge.
In October 2018 after months of feeling sad and stressed out I finally went to the doctor. I went on a long-term sick leave for 6 months. I was completely burned out and on top of that dealing with depression from alot of personal things that all kind of happened around the span of a year. It was like it was to much sadness at once for me to handle.
For such a long time I was afraid to express my sadness to people around me cause I didn't want them to think I was a crybaby, that I was complaining or being a negative person.
I always try to look on the bright side, but for a while there it became harder and harder, so I put on a fake smile and told everyone I was fine, even though I wasn't.
We all go through things and moments in life that are hard.
I've learned that it's important to let yourself be sad and process those things, don't keep it repressed like I did for so long. It works for a while. But when it finally didn't it only hit me so much harder.
I'm doing better now, although I feel fragile, not gonna lie.
Stuff keeps happening and because I'm fragile it makes some days really hard.
But I know I will get through this to.
It will get better. Maybe slowly, maybe it takes some time, but it WILL get better.
I've learned that I'm much stronger than I ever thought I was and this new apartement has already done wonders for me and my anxiety.
I hope I will be able to upload more on RU-vid from now on, but I can't make any promises on how often that will be. I'm going to try to upload one video per week or one every other week.
To you reading this, thank you for taking your time and please be nice to yourself.
Remember it's okay to be sad sometimes, and it will get better.
Lots of love,
Mikaela
2 окт 2024
