i have always been fairly reserved, never been one for displays of affection or emotion, a few years ago i was asked by my fiancees sister ... am i happy? ... it really threw me, i'd never really considered it, or ever really looked to be happy, my goal subconsciously was not to be unhappy ... providing i wasn't unhappy or doing something i disliked ... that was good enough. When i started looking at the people around me, i realized most of them were unhappy and pouring their time/efforts/money into things to try to find happiness or escape their unhappiness for a period of time, often being captive to their moods being emotionally up or down. Personally i prefer to be more emotionally stable and not dependent on external factors to be happy. That said a few years ago i feeling my emotional state of mind was often under siege from negativity ... social media and especially the news with constant propaganda telling me what to think or what to feel was emotionally repressive ... so much so i binned off my TV, dumped my smart phone, quality of life improved greatly as a result.
