I'm Out of Spoons! Unmasked, Unedited, Unwatchable

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Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. I share my personal lived experiences as an #actuallyautistic person. #orionkelly #autism #asd #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike
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ABOUT ORION:
Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (RU-vidr), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about providing validation and support for Autistic people and their loved ones.
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Related: autism, autism diagnosis, Orion Kelly, orionkelly, thatautisticguy, tiktok videos, autistic, autism in adults, autism in women, autism in men, autism spectrum condition, asd, autism spectrum disorder, aspergers, aspergers syndrome, autism in boys, autism in girls, dsm, dsm5, autistic adults, autistic kids, autism mom, autism parent, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance, autism at work, am I autistic, adult autism test, autism disclosure, autism therapy, autism prevention, autism meltdown, autistic burnout, autistic behavior, autism symptoms, autism traits, autistic signs, what autism feels like, love on the spectrum, stimming, echolalia, anxiety

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28 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 387

@hellsnz 3 месяца назад

The last few years it feels like someone has run off with my entire cutlery drawer

@129140163 3 месяца назад

To use the spoon metaphor, I feel as though I’m the only person in the entire history of the human race that never had any spoons, got condemned and ostracized for not having them, can’t wrap my head around the concept of “spoons” (NOT TRUE IN A LITERAL SENSE; REMEMBER, I’M SPEAKING METAPHORICALLY), doesn’t even know what spoons ARE or how to go about getting any, and got additional ad hominem verbal abuse for needing assistance obtaining spoons, and for other circumstances I have no control over.

@MiljaHahto 3 месяца назад

I feel like you. I wish you'll find your source of spoons and get rid of things consuming them too much.

@dftones19 3 месяца назад

I’m hearing this a lot and experiencing it myself. Seems like it’s been since covid

@cosievee 3 месяца назад

I pushed through and pushed through until I developed a chronic illness (for which treatment is also pretty much “you’ll just have to learn to live with it”) which involves heavy levels of chronic fatigue that never goes away. That’s how I learned of the spoon theory years ago, but I have always felt like I was running behind everyone else energy-wise, and it has only deteriorated over the years until it finally broke.

@MiljaHahto 3 месяца назад

@@cosievee It's indeed not something that you can bulld tolerance against.

@rachelthomas8013 3 месяца назад

I think the spoon theory is unhelpful for some, and we need to reframe. We’re struggling a lot right now, we have some tools to deal with stressors, but we may need more rest than we’re willing or wanting to give ourselves. My therapist always brings it back to praising some recent accomplishment or seeing how far I’ve come. We need to not compare ourselves to neurotypicals and rewrite the “ideal” life within our reach. It’s not black and white, I’ve seen you many times on video or live and you’ve definitely gain a ton of insight since the beginning of following you. You don’t need to try harder, you need to put on your own mask- which may mean asking for help. You’re not failing, but if you want some relief, as annoying as it is, a babysitter, family member, or neighbor to help give you a break is. Not. Failing. I’m crying because the passion you have to be a good father and husband is so unheard of for me… I can tell you without a doubt, you are not failing them. Introspection and gaining tools for our toolboxes is essential, and you’re doing that. ❤

@JamesDob94 3 месяца назад

Orion, you provide me and others with so much validation. I was diagnosed at 30yrs old just two weeks ago. I went through an identity crisis not knowing who I am inside. I was going crazy trying to figure out why things seemed so difficult and demanding for me on a daily basis. I see so much of how I navigate the world translated through your videos. Just know that you make so much of us feel heard and seen when we face so many loved ones and family members or friends struggling to understand us.

@Grace.allovertheplace 3 месяца назад

I agree!! This is my point⬇️ (sorry for caps lock) “18:32 *WE ARE HUMANS FIRST! THE DSM WAS BUILT TO BE A HELP TO DECREASE STRUGGLES! BUT THERE IS SIMPLY NO WAY FOR DSM TO COVER EVERY SINGLE HUMAN!!* (Sorry I had to use caps lock! To emphasize my point!) Respectfully, Grace 🩰

@chareepage5966 3 месяца назад

Orion, I hope you read this. I’m the mom of a 23yo late diagnosed son who struggles to do every single thing everyday. When you said “Lost generation”, that was so on the nose. I have a son-in-law who is currently completely disabled by ASD/PDA and a daughter who is self diagnosed ASD. I know so many young people in my family and community who live life curled up in the fetal position, without the level of support they need to thrive. I want you to know how much your willingness to do these raw, unmasked, truth telling videos mean to those of us in the trenches and to those living through the struggles of ASD as well. I so frequently have to reassure my kid that going through burnout isn’t going to last forever, that it will get better, that there is a reason to wake up everyday. Being able to see someone who is feeling the same way, who has navigated these difficulties before, who can truly say there is something on the other side of this desert they are trudging through, is not only a kindness, but can be lifesaving. I just want to thank you for your choice to get out of bed and make a video, even when I’m sure that was tough. Thank you.

@leannhotchkiss9382 3 месяца назад

❤❤❤

@Vicious-Spiral 3 месяца назад

Thank you Orion. I have no words right now, and my eyes don't seem to want to stop wasting water, so I'll edit my response later on into to something perhaps somewhat substantial (did that, btw) but thank you! This helped me a lot! ❤ I so wish we could just buy our spoons on Amazon, next day delivery! 😭😭😭😭😭 10 hours later, and I found a spoon for this edit... I'm 47 years old but have no relationship, no kids... I have no idea how you manage that, at all. Yet I can relate to what you're saying. Every day I wake up, and there are no spoons. None. Nevertheless, I have to put on my mask, go to work - a rotten, dumb & relentless physical job - being surrounded by literal idiots and sub idiots. They know my predicament but have less than zero understanding. Thus, I simply turn on my auto-pilot and drag myself through that hell, day after day, disguised with the fake smile on my face that I force myself to wear. Then I get home, aching miserably both physically and especially mentally, all energy levels deep in the red, and then I self-medicate or lie motionless, wallowing in my misery... not succeeding in anything I planned to do or should have done. Next I go to sleep waaaaaaay to late, and when I wake up I simply repeat all of this. It's an eternal loop... a never-ending repetition of agony, like a relentless perpetual daymare! 😢 and my drawer of spoons? It remains empty, at all times. So, I implode... shut down... explode... or worse, at regular intervals... then pick myself up afterwards and repeat the same s**t again, over and over again! Counting down to the next shutdown, implosion... to occur. 😞😭 Hence my username; "Vicious Spiral"... 😓 Respect, I do not know how you manage do what you do, 24/7. I hope you get well and find your spoons soon! ❤

@jessimae7540 3 месяца назад

I don't think I've ever related to anything more than this.

@bebe7385 3 месяца назад

I’m banshee crying! Thank you for putting this into the world. I’m so afraid of medications but I need some relief. Doing therapy but FOOK… I love you guys the frustration is overwhelming.

@OpheliathePotato 3 месяца назад

This... You expressed exactly how I feel. I envy people who can function normally and have their life in order... Like how?? I'm married and child free...still just everyday life is so, so exhausting. Everyday is exactly the same...drag myself to work which I hate...drag myself home and try to recover from life in general...and then rinse and repeat. I have no spoons left, heck I'm in a spoon deficit. 😵‍💫

@audreysargent3518 Месяц назад

Wonderful. Well said Orion ❤

@depleteduraniumcowboy3516 3 месяца назад

Not diagnosed yet. 50+ yo. Haven't seen a spoon in years despite a recent 1 year shutdown. How do I navigate? Poorly. I grind through it no doubt at a cost to my mental and physical health. Yet another autistic paradox. I appreciate your unedited videos. Roger seems like a good cat who has your best interest at heart. Thank you.

@christinacurtis4140 3 месяца назад

I'm 57yrs old and after struggling for years, I've finally set an appointment to start getting tested for ADHD/Autism. It's never too late to get tested.

@solunasassoon 3 месяца назад

I feel like I threw my spoons away. I’m going in tomorrow for my diagnosis. I’m hoping I will get some tips on how to cope with life.

@CherrysJubileeJoyfully 3 месяца назад

Spoon theory has been in my life for too long because of my God damn mile long list of wtf is that conditions The idea being that you can't use a fork to eat things like soup. There's no alternative for a spoon. Your not supposed to spend all your spoons in a day save some for breakfast in the morning if you are at 0 you have to rest don't beat yourself up about it just rest you don't get a choice that's why it is so shit. If you can't you need help or fewer responsibilities. There is no other way.

@nessknows. 3 месяца назад

How do I get fewer responsibilities and rest when I’m a mother of three, my husband works full time and is going to school, I have to work three days a week and my life is chaotic from the outside world even if I don’t step foot outside? I was diagnosed two months ago and until I had a child diagnosed I thought I was just not resilient enough and something was wrong with me that I couldn’t just go through life normally. I didn’t know that I was autistic before I signed up for all those responsibilities. I thought everyone was flying by the seat of their pants barely making it because they said they didn’t know what they were doing either. I didn’t know that they just felt unsure, afraid and nervous while I was trying to make it to tomorrow every day. I love my family, and I just want to be what they deserve instead of feeling like a failure every day.

@WilliamLund-o1d 3 месяца назад

My problem is I don't know what rest even is. I missed out on that super power.

@CherrysJubileeJoyfully 2 месяца назад

@@WilliamLund-o1d then you have to learn to advocate for yourself as a top priority.

@GhostofMrsMuir1443 2 месяца назад

@@nessknows.same. Just know you will make it through, and your family will always love you. ❤

@lizstokes9091 3 месяца назад

I appreciate your raw ramblings. It's actually a relief to know that others are experiencing the same shit. It sucks feeling like you're letting everyone down or feeling like you're being a burden. I'm sorry you're going through this and really wish there were some words of wisdom that someone could share with you and all of us! I had 1 child (ND but not ASD) and don't know how anyone can cope with more than 1 kid at a time while also working, being in a relationship, dealing with life in general, etc...and not lose their f'ing minds. You're doing better than you realize.

@TheAutisticRebel 3 месяца назад

I could not agree more... 😔 It is so SAD knowing what he is going through and yet we can't help. He doesn't know me but he has helped me so much and I feel so seen and heard after this... But IT HURTS ON SO MANY LEVELS 😢 TAKE CARE ORION. Not an order... a prayer for you my freind!

@Neurodivergentamerican 3 месяца назад

Also, thank you for showing how hard autism can make life. It helps folk like me feel less alone, so vent all you need to and know there are people who are rooting for you and hoping it gets better for you sooner rather than later.

@feelmajs 3 месяца назад

Thank you for the comment on it being a disability not a superpower. I personally find that validating.

@karens8633 3 месяца назад

Yeah, I seem to have missed out on the super powers!

@SuperGingerBickies 3 месяца назад

Same here.

@Yinyogawithjo 3 месяца назад

Agreed

@audreysargent3518 Месяц назад

Agree also

@karenvv2164 3 месяца назад

Thank you for being real and showing us that we aren't alone with how we feel and react.

@TheAutisticRebel 3 месяца назад

That's what HITS HOME FOR ME TOO!!!

@Pete_1972 3 месяца назад

I can certainly relate, but with the big difference that I don’t have kids. I don’t know how you manage. I have my own challenges though and I just can’t cope. I wish I could start every day with those big soup ladles, not spoons. I’m supposed to run our household like finances, shopping and even cleaning as I let our cleaner go because I wanted to feel more useful. I can’t do it anymore. I’m a failure as a human being. My partner works from 07:00 and gets home at 18:00 and then he needs to do everything I didn’t get to over weekends. I know it’s not all my fault, but I sometimes think I’m a lazy worthless person. Sorry to be so blunt or maybe just honest, but I’ve just been so exhausted lately. Physically, mentally and emotionally. I wish you well. That’s all I can say. Feel better.

@louip3466 3 месяца назад

I’m now at the end of the video and you’ve mentioned ‘mourning’. I think that this goes along with acceptance. You are late diagnosed so are possibly mourning the headspace/life/future that you thought you may have. You are forced to re-evaluate everything and come to that point of acceptance. These are stages of grief. The stages of grief don’t necessarily go in an order and may be repeated many times. You are valued Orion. 😊 Your videos help people. That is a beautiful thing.

@carlamarinacosta4855 3 месяца назад

I'm a stay-at-home autistic mother, and I have three boys on the spectrum, who have had my special interest since they were born. Now they are all adults and when they come home for the weekend they want to talk about their struggles, which can be overwhelming.

@victoriadrummond2506 3 месяца назад

Hi Orion. I wish I could do something to help you, but even if I had all the spoons in the world, we know that's not possible. But what I DO know is that this incredibly eloquent expression you just shared has helped me realize something about my own situation. The reason my functioning hasn't improved DESPITE the simplification / reduction of responsibilities in my life is because I've been existing with a spoon deficit for so many years. So like you said, even if the quantity of spoons found moves the needle on the ongoing deficit, it's still a deficit. That makes sense!! I hate things not making sense, so the realization is comforting. Yes, I still feel rubbish that I'm still in a constant state of depletion despite downgrading my lifestyle. But now I feel less defensive about it. It lessens the pressure I feel to explain it to others. Either they understand it, or they can get stuffed! 😆♥️

@ChandraHrynyk 3 месяца назад

My personal analogy (prior to recent self diagnosis at 50) was trying to spin plates on top of sticks. You have to keep them all spinning while more are being added. At some point plates are going to fall. It’s going to happen it’s just a matter of how many or when. Thanks for having the courage to be vulnerable, you have no idea how many people you are helping with your authentic and honest thoughts. It’s refreshing!

@aplanebagel 3 месяца назад

I used to call that running out of buffer/bandwidth and I'm still on dial up. Very relatable. sending love !

@kwoolery 3 месяца назад

I’m at the beginning of an evaluation for ASD, and I keep questioning whether I really fall on the spectrum, but I identify with your videos so much that I feel like I’m finally in the right place. I, too, am out of spoons. I have a 5 and 7 year old, one of whom has ADHD, and is also likely on the spectrum. I love them beyond words, but the chaos they naturally bring definitely adds a level of difficulty to my life that feels completely unmanageable and overwhelming. I’m an overachiever and perfectionist, especially in my special interest, but I feel like an abject failure as a parent because of my lack of executive function. My patience level is non-existent, and they’re just being kids. I just want to figure out how to better for them, but man does it feel like I’m pushing a giant boulder uphill.

@Omneyvdwatering 3 месяца назад

Besides the spoon theory, you also have the " fork theory" . Where instead of spoons of energy, a fork is stuck into you which means you have something bothering you. (stressors and such) You can function if you have one fork stuck in you, you can ignore it and push on, but imagine if you have 10 forks stuck in you, you just can't ignore that and it's very very uncomfortable. You can have all the spoons in the world, but if you got 10 forks stuck in you, they won't help with that feeling of being uncomfortable. I loved that theory And on the " try harder" yeah, i tried that. I'm late diagnosed as well (age 48) and after trying harder my entire life and having had 6 burnouts I'm now completely on dissability pay. I can't do it anymore. I had to completely withdraw from a lot of things. Or as the fork theory would say, I had to get rid of forks. I had spoons, but too many forks. I had to accept I can't have a paid job. I had to convince the government that i couldn't do it anymore so they give me money to live. Which they did. That took out the fork of " financial stress" and " guilt for not having a paid job" But not everybody is able to do that. I have no partner or kids. You can't just suddenly " not have kids" because they're a stressor. I have no idea how to deal with that, sorry.

@lindaT82 3 месяца назад

Love the fork theory ✨

@louip3466 3 месяца назад

I think it’s about acceptance. Accepting limitations and needs. As an example, today I went somewhere crowded, noisy and social. I know that tomorrow I will need to chill. My husband knows that if I don’t have my time out then I won’t be able to function or feel peace. You’ve just mentioned ‘expectations’. Expectations should be realistic and not set you up for failure. Some days I write my ‘to do’ list with three things 1. make my bed, 2. have a shower 3. empty the dishwasher. Some days that’s all I can manage…….and that’s okay. 😊

@sacrilegiousboi978 2 месяца назад

A NT friend of mine who developed a debilitating chronic pain syndrome became much more understanding and sympathetic towards autistic people as he suddenly became much more limited in terms of energy and spoons as merely existing with severe chronic pain uses up A LOT of spoons. He didn’t have the energy to socialise and hang out most nights after work like most of his mates and he felt much more drained by everyday things like chores and social interactions, though for different reasons than autistic people, he still felt a similar sense of alienation and isolation due to his chronic pain.

@katiesill1212 3 месяца назад

Yes, I was once told that when a cat squints at you, it is communicating to you that it LIKES you. Humans can actually use the same technique to help communicate to an unfamiliar cat that you are not a threat. They don't do it for ulterior motives (like to get you to feed them). It is an act of pure affection. So you are correct, that was absolutely a cat standing ovation!

@jazzzmo7 3 месяца назад

Thank you, now my eyes are leaking. I understand and feel everything you just said in this video. I relate to even HOW you got your messages out. This is so validating to hear from someone who "gets it". I was just diagnosed ADHD at 34, ASD at 35. For the first time in my life, I feel like I know who I am. Everything is making sense now. It's thanks to people like you that I got to this point. I don't have any solutions, but know that I feel it too. You are not alone.

@MLindsey222 3 месяца назад

I hear you, Orion. ❤ I've had negative spoons for the last few weeks; today I was really struggling, trying to navigate neurotypical interactions in a neurotypical world and feeling so alone - even among those who care about me most - and wondering why it has to be so damned hard. There are no "bootstraps" (ugh, I hate that word) to lift you out of it, because the feelings are real, they're valid, and for many of us they're just part of the reality of being autistic. I relate so much to your comment that the autism diagnosis saved your life and yet autism is ruining it at the same time. All this to say, you made me feel I'm not alone today in a very real way and for that I'm grateful. 🙏 I understand I'm just a stranger on the internet but I wanted you to know. Wishing you the best from across the ocean!

@WillowTree-ux5qy 3 месяца назад

I can also relate, like many here. I am a late diagnosed adult in my late 30s. I am also a single mum who is trying to finally get through uni. I sometimes feel I have reached max capacity too. I always wondered why "everyone else" could cope so easily with doing so much more than I felt I could. I lost the majority of my spoons as a kid and can't find where I put them.

@jasonuren3479 3 месяца назад

This is brilliant. First time I've heard the spoons analogy. Thanks! 👍

@Scotsman-On-The-Spectrum 3 месяца назад

I really can relate to this so much Orion. It’s gotten to the stage where I feel like I’ll never find a pathway through life that could be referred to as ‘easy’ or ‘normal’. Every single task I undertake in life is coming at a cost to me where my internal batteries are ran down to empty. Like you said in your video, I’m one of those that are Autistic with a full time job, wife, and mortgage and a bills and financial commitments coming out my ears. A few people have referred to me as thriving because of achieving this. I use the analogy that a coconut doesn’t look the same on the inside as the outside. If an internal health check was done on us properly and it showed what we’re campaigning for validation and compassion for everyday, it would reveal some horrific findings. If we use the spoon theory on myself, I’m currently in deficit. I’m probably onto other utensils. I’m sorry I’ve not been online a lot on your lives Orion. I’ve had a lot happening in my life that has consumed me. Hopefully over the next month or two, it should start to even itself out. Keep doing what you do and thank you for another insightful video. Cheers Derek (Scotsman on the Spectrum) 😊

@the_autistic_system 3 месяца назад

This is so amazing. I WOULD ALSO thank the chat thing. I love this part!!

@christinacurtis4140 3 месяца назад

I'm sitting here crying. Thank you so much for this video. I totally understand what you're going through because I went through a similar situation and I'm slowly trying to get my "spoons" back by being in nature more. I'm 57yrs old and after having my major meltdown at work a month ago, decided to get tested for ADHD and/or Autism. I've been told that I 'don't play well with others ', don't get my work done because I'm hyperfocused on one non important item or blah, blah, blah. And I take pride in my work. A few weeks ago I told my husband to just give me one of his guns because I was so drained of life. I feel like I have a lot to offer but it just doesn't come out the right way. ❤

@boneshakerbike 3 месяца назад

I feel you Orion. Every day, overwhelmed. For me just survive the day and then ride my bike in the woods. It's all I got. I haven't seen a spoon since the 90s.

@RobinTaylor-e3p 2 месяца назад

Orion! Man I bawled. Thank you. I can beyond relate to this entire video. I felt so alone until tonight. I'm late diagnosed 49 yr old woman 8 months ago now. I've watched many of your videos and just wanted stop by and say thank you. Finally I feel validation. Thank you for not hiding and being raw. From USA in Arizona...Robin

@arinaberghorst 3 месяца назад

Thank you so much, I can relate. You give me a way of showing neurotypical people around me, how I feel and what autism means.

@natc.5940 3 месяца назад

Yes. This totally made sense to me. Thank you for doing this

@margiecole824 3 месяца назад

I totally relate. Late diagnosed at age 75! I ran out of spoons several times this past week. I can only describe my entire life as a tragedy because of my autism. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

@michaelaw.1942 3 месяца назад

Thank you..... I am 47 und undiagnosed. Few weeks ago I watched a video about autism and since then my life is upside down. In this video I learned why my spoons are always empty. Thank you for teaching and helping to understand. It was hard to watch and see myself.

@g2gworms 3 месяца назад

Thank you for posting this. I have recently realized I likely have autism. In watching your videos and others speaking about their experiences, I often feel like the traits and symptoms apply to me but you seem to much more put together and in control than I do. I'm sorry you are going through a rough period but am grateful for your honesty and showing the reality behind the editing. Being able to recognize myself in your struggles makes all of your content seem more authentic and relatable, and I hope you realize how important it is for people to see. Thank you.

@sharonaumani8827 3 месяца назад

🤣I thought I listened to the rest of this, but I missed the last "but, for"! ....Also, I can appreciate your experience, that you have been able to be in a supportive relationship and, despite the challenges, where would you be without your own family and support. I don't mean to be a "doomer" and discourage others, necessarily, from having kids or families. I just know, for my own self, my own challenges, it would not have been a good outcome, all the way around. There have been a lot of times, in my life, when I didn't listen to my intuition because I didn't trust it, but that is one I paid attention to, despite the push from everywhere else, and have been so grateful for that.

@lindaT82 3 месяца назад

Hi Orion - many thanks for your video. I can relate and empathise with a lot of what you have said. My Ex was a fly-in fly-out worker, and sometimes "remote worker" (irregular longer stints) when we had our son and he was growing up in the 90's, so it felt a bit like I would imagine for a single parent. I didn't have a lot of money, and I did not know I was autistic. I felt like a failure as a person, but I felt completely committed to providing the best possible parenting for my son. And this role as a parent kept me alive. There were no similarities between the expectations of my role as a parent and the role of my parents when I was growing up in the 70's. Don't get me wrong. My parents are/were wonderful. But they had their struggles, and we were pretty much all wild feral kids in the 70's. We had to go out and play, unsupervised, roaming the town and bush, and returning home late at the end of the day. Meanwhile, often this was time when our exhausted mum slept, and our dad had social time or sport. OMG, how many times did I long for the chance to sleep when my son was young. Because for years I had undiagnosed hypothyroidism (turns out so did my mum), as if it is not exhausting enough (IT IS) to be a parent. Expectations on parents had changed radically, and from what I know about current trends, the expectations seem to have continually increased. Instinctively, I had to go into survival mode during those years. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. If expectations didn't work for me, and someone else would be espousing them to me, then my attitude (without saying) would be a gentle "well good for you" and I would go and do my own survival thing. A kind of parental masking. Turns out I was a good parent. Turns out because we have a unique kind of understanding and empathy for our kids, that we are actually the best kind of parent our kids could have. I wish I could write something that would help. There is a good trend that exists these days, and that is minimalism. I have seen videos you have taken out and about with your kids, and that outdoor exploration is gold. I wish we had less toys/stuff when my son was growing up. I will never get those hours back. The futility of trying to have some semblance of control of the toys and order in our home environment. It was exhausting, but it was the norm. If possible, the more you can encourage your kids to contribute and take ownership for their part in caring for your home environment, the sooner they learn important skills that make a difference in the long run. But I hope that you know that you and your partner are amazing parents. Sorry this has been a bit long, better stop here. Lots of love and good wishes to you and your family ✨

@TheVOLTAGEVIDEOS 3 месяца назад

This all too well hits home. I enjoy all your videos, as I learn about myself as an adult. I especially love these uncut videos! It's the true you.

@thevirginmonkey 3 месяца назад

i've noticed that my cat often gets all up in my business suddenly when i'm trying to do something stressful, like when i'm paying the bills, or any time i need to be on the phone. i think she's sensing my anxiety and kind of trying to save me from it.

@RainbowDiamond3 3 месяца назад

I have the same thing with my cat. He'll be happy just hanging out with me in the same room all day. But as soon as I get on a call (stressful for me) he's up on the desk, my lap, etc...

@jojozepofthejungle2655 3 месяца назад

my brother and I have the same tics, mannerisms and stims. We never saw it in each other, so chill.

@michaelfreydberg4619 3 месяца назад

I sometimes have more spoons on some days than others. And it’s hard to predict how each day will feel.

@AppreciateGoodMessag 3 месяца назад

I am 73 and feeling like what you are expressing in this video. This feeling is what has led me to seek getting assessed for autism. I have in the past felt like this before. It has always passed before. It feels like crap while in the middle of it.

@one_victory6145 3 месяца назад

Just watching all your unedited contents in a row. My motivstion is a bit sad and morbid, but I feel like these videos are helpful for me. I've been supressing my emotions for so long, that I can no longer express my resentment and anger with my own emotions. It's all gone. Sanitized away. Because those were not 'the good ones' unlike my fake smiles and outgoing personality that kills me every second. I genuinely do not even know how I could express anger. Perhaps that is a good thing. My anger outbursts never accomplished anything. All people did was point and laugh. Eventually I started coping by being contemplative instead. People seemed to view that as 'wisdom' and 'calm'. Now I am not even sure if this mask is not my real personality anymore. So I'm drawn to your content. Your way of thinking and your experience with the world is so shockingly relatable to me, and I am really drawn by your your unsanitized content, animating my frustrations and anger with the emotional range I wish I had. I oddly feel like you are speaking my language for me.

@joybringer7500 3 месяца назад

Thank you for explaining spoon theory, it makes a lot of sense to me. All your videos are great, including the unedited ones!

@Elvenroyale 3 месяца назад

First, I love this type of video. Thank you! Second, I too have a family. (Unfortunately, I am in the middle of my second divorce.) Third, spoons never made sense to me because, like you, I always have none. I am parenting on my own and unemployed. It’s summer break, and I spend my entire day with headphones, letting the kids play video games to their hearts content now that they are 10 and 12. How did I manage a 5 year old? When my youngest was 5 and my second youngest was 7, I would include them in my interests or just things I am good at. If it bored them, they would end up staying out from under me so I wouldn’t try to get them to “help” or whatever= free time! If they LIKE a special interest, I have a new comrade! Also, setting timers for feeding them helps so they don’t constantly ask for food. If they’re autistic, making sure it’s something they LOVE is going to make life easy especially during the times when you have them on your own. Oh! If they have too many toys, I would recommend putting all the less favorite toys away and making boxes of those toys that you can rotate out once a week. Having too many choices can cause kids to be overwhelmed with choices and therefore they may feel bored when there are too many options. There are a lot of ideas on stay at home mom blogs, or in like, mom Facebook groups. They love being able to help dads! Also, in regards to your own stress levels, if you think the bad feelings might be attributed to anxiety, there is a new anxiety medicine I have started using it is non-habit forming and can be used as needed. It’s called Buspar. (I am in the US; I don’t know if it’s available where in Australia. It is helping me though so it may be worth looking into.)

@nancyziegler5724 3 месяца назад

Id say we all come up short in relationships, with/as mothers, fathers, friends & family, you arent alone mate! I feel for you as a young parent and husband. Its a freaking difficult situation all the way around. too damn bad we cant go buy some more on a weekly basis & store them up & use as needed. Much Love to ya Orion. Love these videos.

@AdamJPollockLiveProd 3 месяца назад

Mate, you’ve made me upset, almost disassociate, laugh, and be validated all in one video. Quite an array of emotions. Similar to a theatre production. There’s a relationship between acting and neurodiversity. I’ve felt it for years. I even ran a theatre sports weekly session as a key/peer support worker with an intention. Mate, I am now diagnosing myself with your videos. It’s a shame I got another diagnosis years and years ago. Although, it’s the same medication anyway.

@TomJay1987 3 месяца назад

You're videos have really helped me out. Your video about self hatred actually got through to my mother who historically has tried her best to be understanding, but still has expectations of me I can't meet. I was late diagnosed at 25 and like a lot of people in that situation it explained a whole lot. You touched on a lot of different things in this video that I can really relate to. I'd say I've been pretty out of spoons for a good year or more now. This has happened a few times in life and takes months to years to replenish. Because of this I tend to isolate myself and convince myself I'm not deserving or will never have many of the things life offers. I could easily go on and on, but yeah... I don't have a family or anything but I do still relate to a lot of what you're saying.

@patriciadepiazza1182 3 месяца назад

First of all it is my considered opinion that you being so concerned about the parent you are or aren’t it itself makes you a caring kind compassionate and present parent. This is a very good thing for your kids. Second this has come at the exact moment when I’m feeling the very same way which means you, Orion Kelly, have made a positive and precious difference in this 60 y/o, recently self diagnosed with tons of help in my community mess of a human who can’t even face getting her teeth cleaned with out anti anxiety medication which by the way will make me sleep for a feed hours when I get home. Thank you for spending your spoons making these videos for us out in the Autismverse bc it’s help many of us wouldn’t get otherwise. I’m so very lost in self doubt, imposter syndrome who even am I poop all the time I mostly cry and barley keep my hubs and adult son fed, whom btw has moved back in with us so he can help his unraveling momma and poor dad who’s doing his best to help me. I’m blithering on now I apologize, bad day, bad week…life I hope you, Orion know how much you help others and that it is a spoon or 2 in any positive way for you. Thank you.

@chaningram3314 3 месяца назад

This brought so much awareness to and understanding of myself. I’m going to seek diagnosis. And thank you! For the comment you made about corporate people omg thank you! They are such indirect and passive aggressive speakers I cannot stand anybody like that so thank you 🙏🏽

@verenarothauer6172 3 месяца назад

Autism saved my life and ruined my life! - That's a perfect explanation! Thank you so much!

@the_autistic_system 3 месяца назад

Roger he's eating my tripod! 😂😂😂😂 Being real is enough. Sharing with us is ENOUGH! It's more than we have ever gotten.

@corrinnebrumby3445 3 месяца назад

Thank you for sharing this! Its relatable. Adult life as autistics is so difficult. I also have chronic pain and my spoons are so low. I can barely take care of myself and am constantly failing at doing things like showering and getting dressed. My thought is this sounds like autistic burnout. The only solutions i know of are therapy is helpful. But mostly when in burnout, we need a break. We need a break from main stressors or eliminating ones that we can. Not saying to take a break from your family. But maybe tasks you can't handle. And let people in your life know you burntout and reached your capacity and hand off certain tasks you can. But yes its all so hard. By the way i love you interacting with your cat. Lol super relatable

@OrojinMusic 16 дней назад

Spoon theory hit me. I'm not diagnosed but I've been struggling with therapists investigating ADHD and Depression and nothing is landing but i keep using the phrase "i feel like im at max capacity for life. I'm out of space to handle more in life" and i intentionally approach different things in my life (like getting dressed in the morning) with a different angle so as to make it cost less spoons. I work a job that has a uniform and it makes getting ready so much easier because i don't have to think about what I'm going to wear. I wear black pants and the company shirt. Done. Less spoons. Now i have more for the rest of the day.

@secretfox8940 3 месяца назад

My oldest kiddo graduated from high school last week. I had prom, graduation, relatives visiting, and all kinds of new things happening. I am also trying to start a new business. So now I am definitely in the negative spoons area as well. I'm trying not to explode, but I'm not doing a great job of that.

@christianvare1 3 месяца назад

I listened to this and can relate so much, late diagnosis, my daughter recently diagnosed, house, mortgage, job, all too much, need less stress but can't escape, daughter moves to new schools for artistic kids, wants to be back at her old school with her old friends

@domeatown 3 месяца назад

I never get far in these, but I'm glad you post them. Easy to forget reality and be insecure when no one is taking care to show the mask visibly slipped every now and then. Its a good practice.

@TheAutisticRebel 3 месяца назад

THIS IS HOW I FEEL EVERDAY OF MY LIFE!!! I LOVE THESE... I feel you. Your passion... your REAL FRUSTRATIONS!!! That is the real deal and like you said... a minute by minute basis!!! There is soOOoo much more said in THESE VIDEOS the curated ones. That may sound horrible to you (Lol know you don't read these) because of the EFFORT REQUIRED TO DO A QUALITY VIDEO. YET PEOPLE FLOCK to what you perceive as Rambling rubbish. It is not!!! It is connection. It is real... AND WE HEAR YOU AND FEEL HEARD!!! There IS NO BLOODY CURE!!!! We WILL SUFFER. THAT IS A GUARANTEE!!! THANK YOU ORION!!!

@TheListeningBen 3 месяца назад

Thanks for posting this. Sometimes the biggest help for me has been people sharing what it’s like for them. It makes me feel less like I’m uniquely broken and alone, and even gives me hope that 1) it will eventually pass and 2) maybe other people have solutions I can adapt (because normal advice doesn’t quite fit us, we’re usually having to adapt, right?). A few times in my life, I’ve felt similar to how you felt when recording this. How big a deal it is to be a good husband and father. Constantly low on spoons and can’t replenish them because of life reasons. The frustration at simple answers when you’re struggling so much. The only thing I was receptive to was having my feelings validated without advice, so I’m not going to post suggestions in this comment. I’ll just leave you with my deep gratitude that you shared this, and the understanding of someone who’s been there a bunch of times too.

@orionkelly 3 месяца назад

I really appreciate it.

@Yinyogawithjo 3 месяца назад

Hi Orion, Thanks for sharing. These videos really do help. Advocacy is crucial to ensure we’re not invisible. I’ve reached a point where I no longer care about others' (neurotypical) opinions; it is a disability, and I’m open about my mental health issues after 50 years of trying to ‘fit in.’ Right now, I’m out of spoons, but knowing I’m not alone today makes a difference. It is truly exhausting. This video was timely. Thank you for all your extraordinary work. And a voice for our children. It matters. And yes the mourning is real. You take care. Best to your family this (long) weekend. Best, Jo

@lauraburystedmundsyoga8231 3 месяца назад

Hi Orion! Hi Roger! 💚 Sorry you're feeling burnt out again (or still) Solidarity with you for going through it ✊. I've got the 1st part of my autism assessment on Wednesday 😱 & impostor syndrome is killing me right now!!

@scsillay 3 месяца назад

thank you for all the hard work you do, and all the good your work passes on to others. always know that taking care of yourself can and should come before worrying about us. take your time, and take care

@ShadoeLandman 3 месяца назад

It's probably my nerd showing, but I write "Just Saiyan" in online conversations to show it's not something serious. It's a Dragonball reference.

@MatthewHaffie 3 месяца назад

Keep up the good work Orion 💪🏼 Proud of you 🎉🎉🎉🎉

@connietaylor3767 3 месяца назад

I hear you... My cutlery drawer is empty... Ive used all the spoons... And used every other utensil... I'm 61... Life just feels like I'm walking thru sand... 24 hours a day seven days a week..

@LMPM83 2 месяца назад

This is a great video! Honest and unedited.

@mirin9851 27 дней назад

I learned about the spoons when I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome. Since then I've added a diagnosis of adhd and a self diagnosis, so far, of autism. I dont know how I usually get thru the day

@fallonhockaday3943 3 месяца назад

Hey Orion, I enjoy these videos bc it IS so relatable! I too have a son that is diagnosed and I’m trying to support through daily life struggles and get through school while simultaneously realizing this pathway lead to a diagnosis for myself. It is so exhausting and I was having these same thoughts the past few days because there is “no rest for the weary” parent in this case and I’m hitting a point where his support needs are finally being recognized (high school btw) and the demand on me to organize this is just bewildering and putting my brain into a fog. Trying to take time each day to do something mindless and let my mind find some form of quiet does help me finish each day without total breakdown tho if that makes sense….. Just sayin😂

@the_autistic_system 3 месяца назад

When demands outweigh capacity .... when i got diagnosed.. i wasnt diagnosed until a few years after my child.

@PURPLEHAZE30000 3 месяца назад

Yes spouse home soon and the stressors r overwhelming.

@HelloworldWelcometoMylife1 3 месяца назад

I like this you are just fine don't stress I like your spontaneity you natural self

@sophiegolden 3 месяца назад

I really hope you will find a way to make peace with yourself... And being relax recharge... I m feeling bad for you... Children understand way better than we think... We are humans, we have capacities to change, decisions are hard but sometimes we need to move on... I wish you the best my friend, from Paris France with all my heart 😊

@Oona707 3 месяца назад

I love this. ❤️ So many "omg I do that" or "yeah, me too!" moments It's amazing to be able to relate to someone 😌 Say Hi to Roger for me 🥰

@gamer-8955 3 месяца назад

I love your videos, Orion. I love your passion and your frustrated rants. I love how genuine and open you are about your struggles and how those struggles make you feel. You are not failing. You are putting a lot pressure on yourself to fulfill your duty as a father. I dont think you are failing. You are autistic and so you are struggling. Thats okay. Its normal for you. I can understand you feeling bad and guilty about your struggles, but you are only human and your autism makes things so difficult. Having children is hard work, but when you have only a very small "health bar" or very small amount of spoons, the striggle of having to look after children and yourself and your wife is so much harder. Give yourself a break, Orion. Its not your fault. Nobody should ever tell you "well you chose to have kids" or "you should never have had kids". You chose to have them because its a part of life and survival and you met a woman you love very much and apparently falling in love can make a person change their mind on having kids. I dont have children because I already decided around 14 years of age, that it would be too hard for me. I have always been very well aware of my own struggles and I know if i cant fix my own problems, how can i care for these little people who have their own thoughts and feelings and needs. Children require parents to teach and guide and care for them, but i find it too hard to care for myself and so i think i could never properly look after children. So I dont have them. Keep up the good work Orion!

@barbaradoye1989 3 месяца назад

Hello, Orion! Spooning leads to forking! 😂😀 I am an autistic mother of 2 autistic adult sons. How do we get through burnout? We ride the wave and use every tool at our disposal. You have to calm the inner storm by removing some of the overstimulation. The hardest for me to understand has been overstimulation while being successful. Orion, you are very successful! I ran a program that catered to special needs preschoolers and memory impaired nursing home residents. I won a few rewards and was recognized by the city. I gave speeches to very large crowds despite my extreme fear of public speaking. I suffered burnout during that time like no other! Sometimes the burnout was while I felt the least successful, for example, when I had to retain an educational lawyer for one of my sons. Talking about a sh** show! So what is it we do? We pull back in the areas that we can and ride the wave. We indulge in healthy things that make us happy. For me, this can mean something like buying a new notebook, graph paper or a columnar pad. I love to draw house and landscape plans. I feel better when I can plan things out on paper and can take notes so I can remember what I need to. During burnout I have to note take or I won't remember the simplest of things. I taught my kids to use "the people in their pocket". I taught my kids to do this when I'm not around. Pick the toughest, most respected people you know who tend to make good decisions in life... for example... Grandpa the military hard ass who is good with numbers and money... the trusted teacher who has always helped with social situations or the trusted psychiatrist who is always good at finding the easiest remedy in the hardest of times and is helpful in determining if it's a "you or me" type problem. When alone in the world and you need help... think... who do I have in my pocket to pull guidance from. For example, the homeless guy is following you in the store and won't stop asking for money... Grandpa would say... "Here's a tip, get a better job!" Then he'd complain to the store manager about harassment. Grandpa seems to know when to donate and who to donate to without being taken for a ride. Simple tools will help you get through but mindset is everything. Autistics are very hard on themselves to their own detriment. Remember before your diagnosis, you were just human and humans struggle. Some days will be good others, not so much! Do what you can, when you can. Learn to pull back when the signs of burnout are there... but don't let life pass you by in the process. Balance is everything. Life is uncomfortable... but doable and workable. You can't dwell on your shortcomings... in the Autistic game laughter and attitude are everything! Take care, Orion! Your channel is the best!😀

@NoxDracoria 3 месяца назад

I feel this : I have only been diagnosed this year at 42yo (though the last two years there were a lot of suspicions and investigating and learning before getting diagnosed). I have/am AuDHD with PDA and I have an anxiety disorder from a life of undiagnosed AuDHD. I have twin 5yos that are starting school in September and a husband who was late diagnosed ADHD 8 years ago when he was 30. My twins are both Neuro-Different though only one is diagnosed AuDHD. Seeing my kids show signs of being on the spectrum and realizing that those same signs were things I and my husband did/were like as kids set off many warning alerts in my brain that maybe I wasn't just 'quirky' or 'odd' or 'lazy' or a 'failure' or 'an average burned out mom with anxiety' - but that there was something deeper going on. As my life with kids has continued to spiral into a complete unregulated shambles my family Dr recognized that the issues I was having were not 'normal' and pushed me to get diagnosed. Every day I wake up and its a struggle. I struggle because I have no energy to start with and I have so much I _have_ to do. It's a full time job to take care of my kids. Its another full time job to help my husband manage his ADHD and his health issues, and its another full time job for me to relearn how to care for myself because I gave that up by the time my kids were 2 and the last 3 years have been a nightmare for my mental health and my relationships with my friends and family. I am learning to recognise and differentiate between helpful and unhelpful habits and getting therapy on how to learn helpful ways of thinking and unlearn a lot of internalized ableism and unlearn shame at being myself and learning to openly enjoy my SpIns and Stims and learning how to be okay with being largely unmasked in public. My only driving force for years has been to make sure my kids are happy and healthy but I've been doing that at the cost of my own health and well being and I know that's not okay and have been reaching out more for help and being less ashamed by my need for that help. It's a struggle every day but It is getting better slowly and I am sure I will figure out a balance one day lol.

@coolqh 3 месяца назад

I can relate sooo much (late diagnosed at 46) and I don't even have children. I am not able to navigate shit to be honest and I think my partner is about to give up on me. I have a job and it's taking all I have from me trying to do it. This made so much sense.

@Andy-rb2tt 3 месяца назад

Thank you, Orion. Your authenticity and candor are very encouraging and insightful. I think it is discouraging to continually compare ourselves to others regardless of disability or ability level. I don’t believe that one’s limits, or lack of spoons, is a let down to others so much when they have the peace of mind of your love and appreciation for them. Your authenticity and your journey to be your best is apparent and I think that is more significant than how many spoons you have. It is discouraging to constantly be reminded of your limits, but you personally have so many spoons that others do not have. Not everyone has the strength of vulnerability and the communication skills to express what you express so skillfully. If you run out of spoons, there is still so much left to you and you have still given so much to others that no one else was there to give them. Thank you.

@Catlily5 3 месяца назад

Stresses and demands overwhelmed my capacity at age 14. But I didn't get diagnosed with autism until age 47. I spent a lot of time in mental health treatment. I don't have a job or kids and I still have trouble coping with life!

@Catlily5 3 месяца назад

I agree that autism is a disability. Autism isn't all bad but it is a disability.

@patrivolta2484 3 месяца назад

You can tell Orion isn't doing well by the fact he isn't wearing a pink and blue floral shirt. I've reached the point in my life where I'm not yet responsible for things like family and carreer but it's all just waiting round the corner. Right now I'm not exactly swimming in spoons but I can still get things done, and yet I know that as soon as I'll get proper job and start a life on my own everything could potentially get very ugly very soon. I absolutely can't deal with the challenges of social life, nor navigate the system. For every thirty minutes job interview I need the whole day just to recover. I don't have the ability to go out an make friends and even those few friends I've got are probably neurodivergent too. To me these "unwatchable" videos are the most relateable and you make a good point there as well. Disability is relative and directly proportional to what someone is expected to be able to do in a normal context. Nobody expects someone on a wheelchair to stand up and run. Their special needs are therefore respected and accomodated with special ramps and extra spaces on public transport. The problem here is that autistics are expected to do everything the NTs do and if they fail than it's just their fault 'cause they ain't trying hard enough. This is why channels like yours and videos like this are vital. We are trying hard and giving our best, but more often than not it's not enough. That's where society should get more flexible and accomodations for our needs should kick in. We are literal tens of millions. There are more autistic people than people living in Australia. How come nobody gives a shit about our struggle?

@jonathon5075 3 месяца назад

Appreciate this video. It can be hard to admit to yourself that you have limitations. As a result of patriarchy and being a guy, it is easy to feel inadequate if you can't do the things you want to do, or be unable to be as stoic and productive as you think you should be.

@Arnie-uc1jv 3 месяца назад

@Tilly850 is right & on to something! It’s time to do the dishes-starting with the spoons! What is the best way to do that?! (Assuming, like right now, I don’t have a clean spoon in the whole house or garage! How do I get off my backside and to the kitchen?!)

@dftones19 3 месяца назад

We love you brother!!

@sildurmank 3 месяца назад

I speak to myself about -resources-, "I've got -resources-", "I don't have -resources-", instead of "capacity". I see it's the same concept anyhow. When I'm Ok I'm full of resources and I can do many things, I can decide many things, I can see/be aware of many things and I don't need any spoon to explain to myself that I can, or can't do this or that, I just know so spoons are unhelpful there. When I'm out of resources no matter how you look at it, spoons or any other thing, I just can't do a thing and no spoons will help me at all, thinking of "how many spoons I have left" or how much something will cost me is not only unhelpful, it contributes to the burnout and deepen the problem making you thinking and trying to figure things you can't manage at that stage, so again they aren't helpful. To me the ideal would be not reaching that point of "no spoons/resources" and being able to manage through common daily things in life and reach night time with resources enough instead of being just mentally wasted/burnt out. That'd be an ideal goal for me to get to for any autistic person out there, because when I'm Ok I can see clearly how they're (undiagnosed people around me...) unable to do this or that just because they've no resources left at all to do so, but I myself can see that when I'm full of resources myself. The problem is getting there and managing oneself good enough to not run out of resources/spoons, at least as a daily basis, from time to time an effort you do and you know you're dong it, Ok, but not as our daily routine giving for granted it's imposible to manage those resources/spoons, or whatever works for everyone, until you just run out of them. So I guess that means there're still work to do, but at least I know now the spot I'd like to reach.

@danthetomatoman 3 месяца назад

I don't know if this is the same, but personally I feel I end up in "spoon debt", I use above my capacity too often and almost build an overdraft of spoons until eventually the bank (body and brain) says no more, and I burn out. It's not fun :(

@cristineroberge5546 9 дней назад

The first one who said oh cool you got super power was neurotypical : x

@arobinreads 3 месяца назад

Sending hugs friend ❤ it is very hard to deal with this. I have been dealing with it as well, just different, because I am not married etc. The only thing that helps for me is accept it, trying to rest a lot and time.

@hockeyhacker97 3 месяца назад

Not the spoons, I often end up giving out all my spoons too early and then end up losing spoons due to stress/abuse/trauma/etc putting me at a negative quantity of spoons because I didn't pre plan for losing spoons.

@angelikaolscher7104 3 месяца назад

I also feel like I'm out of spoons I can never get back. I am trying to decide every day, working against demand avoidance with everything I have left, to make new spoons. Find them. Repurpose forks. Still, I feel like I'm creating shadow cutlery....

@Hermitthecog 3 месяца назад

Paradox really is at the core of autistic experience (incidentally I think we really need to collectively develop a philosophy of our own to begin to address this.) It's like the physics conundrum that observes our expanding universe and posits that our "reality" may nevertheless merely be the internal functions of a black hole. That said, Western culture is fixated on the tenet, "Weep, and you weep alone", i.e. our attitude towards suffering is to isolate it like a virus; whereas some Indigenous cultures treat it collectively, because group catharsis can provide both empathy and support for the afflicted individual while reaffirming that we are all in this together (personally I think we autistics are ourselves a distinct First Nation, sort of a dispersed culture of shamanistic outliers.) It would be nice if we could turn to our immediate social/support circle on days like this and know that they will instinctively help to shield and guard us against the endless "More" of societal expectation (e.g. a feline slow-blink on a meta scale.) I learned through experience that bicycling was an effective means for me to re-ground myself during a spoonless phase because it not only physically stimulates and mentally engages but also directly asserts one's sense-of/need-for both autonomy and flow. Total immersion in the herenow is a powerful self-affirmation; it may not resolve all the demands but it's an effective life raft.

@LunarFrequenciesHD 3 месяца назад

I found the answers in prayer and in GOD 🙏 it's amazing how the Bible turned into an instrument of life.

@jameegrace4918 3 месяца назад

I'm kinda in the same boat right now. I have to rest a lot just to be able to function a little right now. I'm trying to come out of nearly a year of severe burn out. I thought I was headed out of it only to get involved with another abusive person and find my nervous system so disregulated that I'm back to burn out. Sometimes this autism thing really really sucks.

@Heiscomingbacksoon7 3 месяца назад

“Out of place,a misfit “. Yes, I agree. The autistic paradox’s

@christiegrows2022 3 месяца назад

Love these videos. Connect 💯 with your experiences

@TTL47 3 месяца назад

I can't self diagnose. My doctor just says I have anxiety, but I can relate to this so much! There are other people explaining their Autistic or ADHD brain, and a lot of them explain much better how my mind is working. Anxiety doesn't really cover it. Sorry if that makes me anything negative. It makes sense to me!!

@s1nningjezus207 3 месяца назад

You gotta do something restotative. Something YOU really find cathartic AF. "Make more spoons" Figuring that out is also stressful no doubt. PERSONALLY online video games with my online friends all over the world that I made IN THOSE GAMES. Call of duty and Destiny 2 believe it or not. Especially COD Search & Destroy.

@EVERYTYME 3 месяца назад

Just saying 😂😂😂😂 what a great outro!!

@Green_Roc 2 месяца назад

Spoons (Mana): Some of my mana is permanently tapped (Reference: Magic the Gathering) People telling me "try harder" are telling me to tap more mana than I have. Tap minion to add mana to your pool. Your minion cannot defend/attack this turn.

@TK-fm5ud 3 месяца назад

I’m not navigating. I’m drowning. I relate to this 100% Can you please do a full “corporate moron” rant video. You are spot on. They really are moronic!!!