No. It is "raised". Just raised up upon something unstable. A tower of misdirection and overthinking that waits for you to make the wrong step into the deep end.
This reminds me of a couple days ago when my mum said to me "I was looking at pictures of you when you were small, and they made me kind of sad because...You used to smile more! It's like you lost your spark!" What a heartbreaking wake-up call that was. I'm sorry, mum.
My dad does this to me. And he compares me to my little sister. He says that I've "drifted away", but really he pushes me away. He is very involved in my life which is nice, but he can be forceful and he always gets his way. It hurts when he compares me to when I was little and says that he wishes he had a time machine so he could go back. It feels like he doesn't like who I am now
"If I've told you once, mom, I've told you a thousand times: your little boy was taken by the fey, and they left you with me, a Changeling that looks identical but is subtly evil! How are you still confused!?"
I gave up that three years ago and emotionally it’s going great When I’m an adult my conservative Christian family is gonna find out they raised a really gay tattoo artist 👍
@@readerwriter_animebooks_ne1182 Christianity is a failed religion. I'm not even a Christian but I hope one day it gets back on its feet. It's the one thing that can keep the west from pure disgrace
i'm so sorry you had to go through whatever you went through danny. i don't really know what else to say to express my feelings about parents like that, i hope you have a good life
“What happened to my little boy?” He’s been worn out, reaching for the expectations you placed out of reach. He continues to move, yet the fire inside is long dead.
My mom asked me this and after telling her it was her, she went to tell stories about how good and helpful i was and i told her i was forced into most of that stuff which she said you could've said no if you didn't want to which i said "if i said no it would trigger a landmine and hit me" because back then she would hit me over anything so i didn't want a black eye for being too tired to shovel a car out of the snow or the be used as a pack mule whenever mom decide to help someone and makes me carry everything because i should respect the adult's or refusing to let me hang out with my friends then lied to her friends that since i like to do nothing babysitter her friends children will give me something to do when shes the one whos forced me to do nothing. Then she did the "but i waas trying to do whats best for you" so i told her "encouraging my sister to hurt me and telling me to man up when i couldn't breath as my sister is choking me is whats best for me but if i dared to pry her finger to stop choking me and she said oww im the villain who need to be beaten half to death" "Or the time my sister literally ran at me with a big knife and lucky i was able to catch her but you scolded me for hurting her arms when if i didn't catch her arms i would have been stabbed in the guts" then mom tried to protest saying i dont remember any of those so it didn't happen plus i would have remember my son almost being stabbed" to which i responded with "you cant even remember what happened last week let along what happened 18 yrs ago, it still happened just like the Christmas i supposedly ruined for having purple hands that couldn't move after ringing out frozen laundry in -20c and because i couldn't move a finger you throw the Christmas tree and dinner out the window and claimed i forced you to do it when you couldn't be a mature adult" "or the time i somehow wrecked your dream of owning a pittbutt because you wanted a puppy at the same time as raising a newborn baby and two kids going to school literally the worst time to try to raise a puppy because you ended up unloading the responsibility to us and we know next to nothing about raising puppies why are you surprised it turn bad when especially since you were using your newborn as a punishment anytime anyone made you slightly stressed they have to take care of the baby while mom locks herself in her room blasting music like when i asked if i can eat your leftover baby duty, my sister asks to have friends over baby duty but somehow im in trouble as well or the time step dad overcooked the food we had baby duty while step dad helped calmed down mom" "And continued to do it over the stupidest of stuff like if something broke babysitting time while she blast music, im late from work after work 16 hrs baby sitting duty, step dad accidentally stepped on a landmine we're on babysitting duty while step dad calms you down, literally the only thing you did for the other sister was feed her and thats it i practical raise her plus 3 other kids before i reached 20 " and after i told her all that she goes "i loved you and cared about you and raise you from diapers and this is how you repay me back" which i responded "if you actually cared, you wouldn't have treated me like a slave or a lesser human make 20 different reasons how im a bad guy with 4 of them i cant change because i cant stop being my dad son, i cant stop being tall, i cant stop looking like my dad, and says how much im like my father yet if i had the Audacity to say the same thing over doing something that you complained that granny did to you all the time its im attack you or its 'different' somehow when the only difference is you are in granny's spot and im in your spot, just because its different people doesn't mean its a different thing " Then she plays victim saying i somehow have 90% say because she feels like she cant say the "truth" without stepping on a landmine when thats how i felt because if i upset her its move the hell out so after her crying how she has to walk on eggshells around me i lost all hope of ever having a relationship with my mom because how can i have one with someone who thinks she the victim 24/7 in situations she's clearly being abusive in and no matter what i do from fighting fire with fire to treating her the same way as she treats me to just taking it and ignoring her im still somehow the big scary monster thats a danger to the family and needs to leave over a situation she caused because she refused to listen what i have to say and labeling it as "talking back" when that what conversations are
Im so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard that is. I’m sure you’re an absolutely amazing daughter and person, and you deserved parents who knew and cared about you for YOU. I’m here for you if you’d like to talk. ❤❤
@@Youre_enoughXX Thanks, you are really sweet but it's okay. I'm fine, this happened years ago so I'm already kind of over it. I don't care for her anymore, if she couldn't bother being in my life then I'm not bothering to be in hers. Thanks for the concern though
“What happened to my child?” Parents ASK THAT, like they don’t know what they did. They traumatized their children and made them grow differently. I read a book with a statement: “after a heart is broken, it can grow back, yes. But it will grow back deformed, not like it was before, oh not at all.” Or something similar. Some people deserve better parents.
A close friend of mine and my mother both said this to me within one week, it was heartbreaking for me. I knew I was changing, I hate change and it was scary for me and knowing that I was leaving my safe little box of childhood made me so sad.
aw, change is scary for sure- especially when your loved ones bring it up to you but remember you don't have to let go of the things that make your inner child feel safe and happy, and don't worry about seeming "childish" if you do; just in case you needed to hear that... 👍
"what happened to my little girl?" as a trans masc this is the most fuckin DEVASTATING line to hear from my mom and i never have the right response in the moment. any time she says something like that it's just like,,,, "that kid never really existed, you made up an idea of me and i tried to fit into that box but it wasn't really the person i am now. you damaged me a lot whether you meant to or not and you can't take that back no matter how hard you try." but naturally she has a very warped perception of things due to a lot of mental health issues so i could never say that without her hearing "i hate you, this is your fault, etc." hi I'm a very tired little lad and i wish the world wasn't so damn depressing ✌️ to whoever is reading this, life's hard but you can do it and i believe in you. there's things worth living for, but you have to be here to experience them.
I want to come out but I already know what they will say.. “you’re too young to know that stuff” “a lot of kids do it for trends” “don’t do it because your friends do” “it could change” and other shot like that. How the hell am I too young to know my own gender identity? How is 14 too young? You think I just woke up and said “yup I’m a guy now”? No, I have always felt like this, when I was younger i didn’t understand. When I would role play with my friends i used to always play as a male character because playing as the female character felt wrong. In 6th grade I started to understand better. It wasn’t until the summer that I realized I was Trans. I came out to my friends in 7th grade when I was 13. I’m 14 now, still Trans, uncomfortable in my body, all I see in the mirror is a girl. I’m not able to cut my hair really short until I’m 18. My parents call me a “tomboy” because I stopped wearing “girlie” stuff and prefer wearing darker color and stuff like baggy shirts. Maybe one day I’ll get the courage to finally tell them
that hurts, but i always wore like little cat ear headbands and little tails and stuff, so when i made a mask my parents didn’t care much (but it hurts to be an atheist in a family of christians, pretending to be christian, pretending to be straight, it hurts)
This is why I don’t want to come out to my parents. This is the sentence I’m dreading. They’ve already shown so many strong signs that they’re transphobic and homophobic, and it sucks. It really does. The only people I’ve been able to come out to because I know they’ll support me is my older brother and my friends. This means a lot to me. Thank you.
I read this and thought it was a bittersweet thing by the therapist making them feel bad with their mom recalling how fast time flew. Then I read the comments and realized this was childhood trauma via bad parenting. My heart goes out to everyone out there who have had neglectful or outright bad parents. Y'all deserve better.
I feel you, bro. I had to grow up at 10 since I started puberty and my mother made me think that having childern and getting married is a bad thing since she told me not to get married and not have childern so it became my fear.
"What happened to my happy affectionate boy?" He called for you when he needed you the most and you brushed him off even after you denied him help over and over he still held out hope that you'd keep your word and be there for him whenever he needed even when he was longer himself and just a shell; He'd hope you'd be able to help him..
I started taking adhd meds in 3rd grade. It’s gotten better now (I’m on a new medication) but back then I didn’t eat any of my lunch. I’d go the entire day without food. Being an 8 year old, I was understandably hangry when I got home. I’d throw fits and tantrums over the slightest mishaps. I remember my parents always asking, “what happened to our sweet little girl?”. They meant the best, and I know they love me, but I think that may or may not have led to just a *little* self hatred 🤏😊☺️
Dear danny I have been watching ur videos for ages when I was a child even when i was in pain from all the abuse my parents gave me as a child they even landed me in hospital many times but would always make an excuse to the police saying i fell or had an 'accident' when my neighbours finally reported child abuse my parents were found guilty and are now in prison for life when i watched ur videos it helped me relax even when i was highly suicidal and suffering from depression and self harm you were always posting funny yet relatable content to people like me who are traumatized u have always lightened up my days today i am cancer free and i am 27 days clean from self harm thanks to u you gave me light in the darkness of reality thank you for always being there for me and for all of us.❤
@@72hr_ketchup fr like this makes me so mad its not just caus eof the phone they just try to deny the fact theor actions harmed theor child but dont want to acknowledge it bc they think Im young and immature and dont understand anything as much as they but mos tof the time their wrong abt it and i personally I dont care Im too tired to dela with them.
@@NOJuStNo707 yeah, at this point, whenever im getting yelled at (or just scolded in her mind) i js look my mom in the eyes and literally js hope she sees im not afraid anymore. Like her yelling doesn't affect me, im js too burnt out to care now
This is completely off-topic, but Danny, if you see this comment, I want you to know that if you are wearing a black shirt with a white cat, bananas, and Japanese on it that we are currently wearing the exact same shirt
I never had his "what happened to the child I knew...?" talk. She told me she had gone through grief of losing me long ago. The kid I once was, is dead to her.
And I’m here with a family that takes everything in stride and embraces each of our quirks as we grow up. So that later we can tease each other over our teen years….😢I’m so sorry to any and everyone who doesn’t get that support and love from their parents. Unconditional love is the parents responsibility when they decide to have kids!!!! Kids are to be taught, loved and guided into a decent human being. Nobody is perfect, and kids especially should not be expected to be perfect. They are kids and are still learning….but adults should know better and if they want perfection so bad THE PARENTS should be the perfect ones not the kids! Adults make mistakes and only realize years later how they FUQed up but to not take responsibility of what they caused is just traumatizing all over again!! THEY NEED TO BE THERAPY! I wasn’t the perfect parent, I admit it, I FUQed up a few things. But I acknowledge them and asked for forgiveness and was given it. But I still have to own my mistakes. And inaction is as bad the action! That’s my fault. I let things get done or happen and didn’t stop them at all or fast enough before the trauma was already done.
I feel awful for everyone who is going through things like this, for those who have toxic parents, for those who live with narcissists. They are jerks and they don't deserve your love
"What happened to my little girl?" - You. First, You ruined my childhood, I'm the one who has the fault and guilt of YOUR errors, *You* have to be responsible for once. Second, I'm not "your" little 'GIRL' , I'm a boy, a man. And just because you gave a me a house, food, a thing every child is NEEDED to have doesn't mean that I'm your slave.
I relate emotionally to this because my mom never called me her little boy. She never called me anything other than my name or "son". (It hurts even more knowing this tho💀)
I'm so sorry you've had to endure that :( If you need free therapy pointers (like me) I highly recommend Patrick Teahan's channel for CPTSD content and Therapy In A Nutshell's free anxiety course. She demos lots of skills/exercises you can try out. Both are a great source for journalling prompts if you are able to do the work by yourself. (I will add a disclaimer that Patrick's videos can be pretty triggering due to the subject matter. You'll want to make the time and space to do the work AND get back to your base level afterwards.) I really hope this helps 💗
if my card declined at therapy they would just take me back to 09/22/19 😭😭. why am i actually getting likes i was kinda posting this like thinking out loud for myself and no one even knows what i’m talking abt
Today as soon as i woke up my mom yelled at me for so long saying i dont listen to her and she cant make any decision for me and i just ignore the decisions she makes for me. Mom, pls give up. I have grown up im not thaf stupid doll of yours anymore who you can control however you want. Im tired of being controlled i dont want to live my life as yours. I know you regret your decisions and want me to make the right choices but youre just forcing me to live your life and not my own on my own thinking and terms. Dont you think its tiring to live for someone else? It is. Everyday i wake up and feel sad that why did i have to see another day its not even my life whats the point of living it
@@Ineedabetername I was supposed to be living out rn if i passed my exam but i got 20 marks less then marks which can promote me to next level so I have to study till June which is when i reappear for the exam and that's when I'll move out hopefully in July 😊
Anytime I think or hear this question I only ever say "I'm so sorry" but no I am not apologizing to my parents or anyone who hurt me. I'm apologizing to my younger self, for letting myself get so easily influenced by others words, for letting myself leave permanent marks all over that once hopefull and beautiful little girl, to that child that once looked at there mother and father and said "I wanna be just like you" to that adorable baby whos only worry was if they would get dessert. I would do absolutely anything to save that poor child from herself.
"What happened to the cute little girl? Where did she go?" I get that a lot. Not just from my parents but also from people who saw younger me. God, these don't affect me now, but I wish I could go back and hug my past self.
I hope you’ve healed from that… But I get what you mean. They’re always asking what happened to their “little girl”. When it’s all their fault I turned out this way in the first place 💔😒
You deserve to be happy not constantly being reminded of the trauma you gone through, if I could I would give you the biggest Baer hug I’m so sorry you had to go through that Danny truly I am
"Where did my beautiful daughter go?" "What happened to my little girl" Im your son. Get over it you traumatized me in ways i cant tell anyone for your own respect. And stop dead naming me im not (deadname) anymore im your son
