0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize. Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube
I am not any different from any of your guest. I have my own debt but no where near the income of most of your guest. I to have a whole in my bucket and I am working on getting it patched up. That is why I didn't understand why you would promote a credit card to people who have issues with spending more than they have. Just curious. I have learned a lot from watching you and your guest and I will continue to watch and learn.
Maybe I should have worded my question differently. Saying "most of your listeners" was unfair of me. From what I see when watching your pod cast is that a lot of your guest have credit card debt as do most people. But my question was not directed to anyone but the host. It just seems to me poor taste to endorse a credit card. When you're trying to educate people on how better to manage their money. Also I thought pod cast were about talking getting involved and asking questions. I guess that depends on the question. ❤
While we can all agree that they have areas to improve on, that is of course the reason they came on the podcast. It takes an amazing sense of courage to put yourself out there for the world to see. I understand it is human nature to critique the decisions others make (and do it myself) but for anyone here to demean others is unacceptable. As if any of us don't have our own demons. I personally wouldn't have the courage to share every detail of my financial life with the world. I appreciate every one of these couples for the work they are doing to change their lives!
When I was three years old, my parents took me to Disney World. I don't remember a thing from that trip. (They took me twice more, when I was six and nine, and it was wonderful.) If you're looking to build lifelong travel memories for your children, you're not going to do it when they're three. But I get the sense that the Singapore trip was never for the children in the first place.
I agree. If the idea is really to have a break from work and spend time with your child, there are many ways to do that closer to home and much less expensively.
I know this is rare, but I do take advantage of 0% APR for X months. I've done it twice to buy large ticket items for the home. However, to avoid any interest charges, I auto deduct the same amount every month until the month the fees kick in then cancel the card.
Super small detail, but she mentioned expensive furniture from West Elm. When I moved last year, I needed a sofa, my previous one had been $800. Looked at local stores for something similar and it was going to be $2500, maybe $2100 with labor day deals (+ taxes/delivery charges). I know, inflation, but the prices seemed crazy to me. And all the items I saw I didn't even really like. West Elm is even more expensive. I also saw at some stores "open our credit card and get 0% financing for 72 months!" People are literally taking out "car loans" to get furniture. Anyway, I found a labor day deal at a store I knew a few states away (with 0% sales tax) and got a couch I ended up loving for around $900. Burned some miles to fly up, rented an SUV and drove it down the east coast. Still saved tons of money doing that. Part of this was lack of supply near me (supply chain issues) and part of it was finance, but so many of these furniture stores charge prices that are just out of this world. And yes, the couch I got is just as nice (or nicer) as the more expensive ones I looked at. And the store I got it from likely has my future business. Price is a silly game where people look to buy the more expensive thing because they assume high price = superior quality. This is often a convenient filter, but not always. I also don't buy quite as much furniture as a lot of people. It really weighs you down when you need to move. Moving it is expensive, storing it is expensive. Plus a lot of people just have such cluttered homes because they buy too much.
@@sarthipatel6868 raymour & flanigan. I forgot to mention a lot of stores near me were saying 6+ month delivery. which likely means you buy it, they never deliver, too late for chargebacks (I verified this is a common story unfortunately via yelp reviews of local stores too). was able to pick up from R&F pretty quickly.
West Elm is overpriced. If it's on clearance, it's okay but full price is way too much for what you get. Most of my apartment is West Elm because it was the cheapest that's passable for me but some of it is really low quality. My sofa is Room & Board because West Elm has poorer reputation for sofas and you want a sofa to last (if you don't have kids or pets who will trash it anyway). West Elm is the Millennial step up from IKEA but don't buy too much of it. Save for fewer, higher quality pieces and try to only buy things that are on clearance (my sofa was like $1000 off and was close enough to the one I wanted). Once I get my money better together, I'll pass the West Elm stuff on and get more Room & Board and maybe even local custom stuff or antiques (I had an empty apartment I wanted to fill quickly, which was a poor financial decision).
Have either one of you thought what happens if one of you should die? I used to work in the funeral industry, and people of ALL ages die for no apparent reason....people don't have to be ill to pass away. You of course should've be where you are at, but to depend on each others income only adds fuel to the fire.
Serious question: Can someone like Christina, who’s been a spender her whole life, actually change? I don’t mean a few months or a year, I mean long term? It’s extremely difficult and I find it not possible, the constant struggle to fight yourself to not go back to your default behavior, you will eventually give in
I find it limiting to say bad behavior is just a default or "that's just how I am." Change is possible if you commit to it. Before you know it, good habits will be your new default.
I think so. If they find a saving strategy that fits their lifestyle where they can save and still enjoy their money, I think it possible. I say this from my own experience.
11:25 “I want to give my 3 year old the best that I can” (that she Can afford” LADY you can’t afford anything that cost. I literally take my daughter (3 and 1 years old) to the same 2-3 parks every single day. It’s free besides gas. It’s fun. It’s spending time with them, it’s quality. I bet my 3 year old is more impacted by the same boring park everyday than any Singapore trip you can put on credit.
My heart goes out to them. Frankly, it's not surprising they're undisciplined with money. They are high-earners working long hours, they exercise daily, they eat healthfully, they raise their children. Something has to give somewhere. Vices exist for a reason. Willpower is limited. So how do they find balance between all the things in life that require such high levels of discipline and effort? I can't imagine living that perfectly, and I wonder where they will build room in their lives to just....be. Rest. Exist.
i really loved christina’s follow up. i feel like a lot of the comments are jumping quickly to judging her but she was so receptive to everything jack and ramit were saying, even taking notes and committing to making sacrifices. i wish the best for this couple! thanks for being brave enough to share your financial situation with the world, every episode of this podcast helps a ton of people so we appreciate you
$10k plane tickets... that's business or first class. My friends... If and when you get more stable consider coach. Always think when you spend on some unnecessary, do you want that more than anything else you can have with that... retirement, your kids college, buying a house etc. There is an opportunity cost in every expense.
@@rory644 not true. In the Netherlands credit cards aren’t popular. Most people only have a credit card for vacations abroad or buying on American webshops. We don’t have credit scores (I can’t believe Americans put up with it and don’t riot about it) and no credit card rewards. So what’s the benefit of a credit card without that? Than you only have the loan part left of the credit card
I would pay a subscription fee to get episodes without ads. I don't have a problem with creators including ads, they should get compensated for their content, but I'd be up for paying the creators directly for the convenience of skipping the ads altogether.
What ads are you referring to? Ramit's ads or RU-vid's ads? If you are referring to youtube ads you can pay for youtube premium and that will solve that. As for Ramit's ads, its the "price" you pay for this high value content that you are consuming for free.
Kid will prb feel more happy if she saves for his future. Kids dont need all that to be happy. I had put similar pressure on myself, took my kids for many vacations n they got tired. They r just happy being home n w their daily activities. Kids feel more safe when u r not fighting over money n have savings. Roof over ur head, basic utilties n food is more important for a kid than anything.
New Subscriber! ❤ I am so glad I found your channel…it just popped into my feed. Wow! 🙏🏾 I am learning quite a bit. I’m in my early 50’s and felt I was too late to being saving and investing. I realized that it is possible to change one’s habits and create a life that you want.
If a man is with a woman that is highly successful, and you say "men are meant to be the providers"...what exactly are you trying to say? Women shouldn't be successful? Men should all only date down? If a dad tells his son he should be the breadwinner but the son married a woman who earns a crazy high salary - what exactly is the dad trying to say? Leave your wife??? I just don't understand this rhetoric at all!!
I think in his case his dad was telling him to try harder and have some goals to better aid your family. It's cultural. Also, the term 'dating down' needs to die for so many reasons
In some cultures the amount of money the wife makes is irrelevant because the husband is the provider. She can be a surgeon and he a janitor and it is still his duty to pay the bills. She is under no obligation to pay for anything.
It is more like if he is not the highest earner, he had no say on how any of the money is spent. His wife made it clear. Both of rhem grew up in families where the man was rhe sole breadwinner. It is going to be a rough ride for him unless he increase his income or provide other compelling value to the marriage.
Doctors are human too. They can be financially irresponsible like anyone but in a higher scale. The saying “the more you make, the more you spend”. Most doctors deal with hundreds of thousands dollars in student debt. Then, of course, gotta get a multimillion dollar house, fancy ride, expensive trips and parties because now they have rich colleagues. Many millionaires are broke because it’s hard to keep up with the lifestyle. Once you’re at that point it’s hard to just suddenly stop. My wife once worked for a dentist that has her own practice who constantly bounce her paychecks. Each payday is…deposit and pray it doesn’t bounce. Her vendors would have to sue her. She even wouldn’t pay the guy who brings her Alhambra water each each…she still does till this day last I heard
100%! With her 80-hour work weeks for the last 3 years, her 3 year-old would probably be much happier with snuggle time or playing in the park or hiking, not some long flights halfway around the world, then both parents exhausted from jet lag.
He’s only going to be 3 once 😅 like every age he’s only going to be every age once 😂 he’s only going to be 18 once maybe he would appreciate having wealthy parents then.
"Which society? Which society is pressuring you to go to Singapore?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Taking about booking a trip to Singapore 5 minutes after she mentions that just 2 months ago she feared not being able to afford a place to rent 🙄🤦🏼♀️
@@Dan16673 not necessarily qualify as insanity. Ramit proves that time and time again lol. Further to the point when she says society she means the pressure from commercials, her family and her very well off peers. its not as far-fetched as people who don't understand money psychology (you and LL-pq) think. we all bow to peer pressure to different degrees. She is a self-proclaimed motivated accomplisher type who saw her issues as a weakness AND she gets enabled by her father. she was bound to end up here feeling lost. Her identity is tied up to possessions and trips so the illusion and trying to maintain it got her in a bit of a pickle
They could be millionaires, owning properties, businesses, etc. What is frightening is they are so caught up in what others are doing and where they are going. Debt freedom is so liberating because when you have focused and worked at becoming free you see things differently, you don’t care about comparing or competing with others. You do what’s within your means, what’s practical and reasonable. There is so much safety, security and happiness when this happens. Stay off of social media and looking at hyper consumers…you will be glad you did.
Wait until your children are older, 7-9 then go to a big trip like that where they will remember it all. Thanks for sharing, we are all going through these similar struggles.
Doctors often suffer from the same hubris you see from a successful business person. They think that, since they are successful in one arena, they will be successful in anything they attempt. I have a rule to never go into business with a doctor. I've seen too many try to start businesses that were silly, poorly executed, or just not properly funded so they all failed.
@@valerimacdonald5146Understand the sentiment. But I don't think it's because they're successful in one area... the more education and expertise you have, the more you realize you don't know about other things. I think doctors suck at finances because they don't learn money management in training - they aren't taught finances in school, and aren't earning enough money in training to gain experience managing it. So they come out of training at almost 40 and start earning what most consider to be an astronomically high salary - the likelihood of mismanagement is high. It's very similar to the situation professional sports players fall into.
There's this saying in Med school and training that's often ignored: Doctors can buy anything, but they can't buy everything. Awesome if they, indeed, got some insight into this. Being an employed physician can burn you out in few years. Financial security may help her pivot her careers if she chooses to do so down the road.
So true, I‘m also a physician in Europe and our salary here is much lower than in the US. I certainly don’t feel that pressure to fly to Singapore tomorrow. I‘d rather save to be able to scale back when I‘m older. My kids won’t benefit from me getting a heart attack from being burned out…
Getting a break from work, resting, and spending time with her child are all great ideas. Going to Singapore is probably not the best way to accomplish this. A three year old will not remember the trip, and it seems like it would be much harder taking a trip like that with a child that young. If rest and spending time with your children are the real goals, then there are many, many ways to do that which would be much cheaper and closer to home, and would be a better option with the children.
Stop spending money on credit cards! Your kids won't remember or appreciate trips until they are about 9 or 10 and over, believe me I know. I have two daughters that we wanted to do everything with and now they say, I don't remember that.
I have a suggestion - I understand her urge for vacation and I would say instead of refraining from taking any vacation strike a deal. Out of 2600$ save 600 per month for vacation and plan a little modest vacation and still pay off debt using 2k. Thereby she don’t have to wait for 3years to plan her next vacation, end up frustrated and plan an extravagant trip and going back on debt accumulation.
I dont think she has the same respect for his man when she started making much more than him..and he does not feel good about it..She even considers his six figures has almost nothing... I expected more intelligence from a doctor not planning 25k trips with no saving... godness me !!
Thank you to this kind couple for helping the rest of us nuckle heads! I appreciate the honesty and openness. You are doing a great service to your peers. Also, thanks to Ramit for creating this space.
Ramit- this is SO good. I love their vulnerability around spending & $ views. If you ever want to do a couple who started off rough, but are now in a very good place, lmk. I’m a therapist who owns a group practice, we adopted from Russia (which caused years of debt), but have changed our relationship with $, got educated, to the point I do a lot of financial counseling with my CEO, Dr. & Lawyer clients living paycheck to paycheck. It all comes down to getting knowledgeable, getting real & making small changes over time. We could’ve retired 4 yrs ago; but I love my job, & with Covid taking a toll on mental health, I feel there’s such a need for therapy.
It seems like they want everything at once. You cannot have lavish vacations, eat out all the time, buy nice cars, buy clothing, and save for house. Pick and choose what you value.
"Mo money mo problems." The way Ramit connected their exercise mindset to money was powerful stuff. Makes me wonder whats "easy" and whats "hard" in my life and see if its just mindset.
That's why I love watching these episodes. While I may not have the income/situation/etc. of all involved, each episode makes me take a look at my own decisions.
median household income in America was $74,580 in 2022. However, if you remove the top earners, it's much less. I hope this doctor understands the population she will be helping and has compassion for their living situation.
This was a really good one. What a lovely and clever couple - they will have an incredible life and their children will be that little bit older to enjoy it fully too. Slow and steady x
Thanks for another great episode. You probably know the quote, "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." It's interesting to hear from all of these couples with issues, but I hope you can interview a couple that's nailing it and show us one amazing example to aspire to.
She should be shameful to blame her spending on her kids. My kid at three enjoyed more his time with me playing ball at the backyard than our trip to Cancun......
I am a resident and you cannot afford anything if you have children living in la on a residents salary. Most residents do not accumulate this type of debt durung residency. We all work 80 hours a week !
I know several doctors who speak the same exact way she does. You spend time through training, and once you get out it's the yellow brick road. It's a scary path because doctors are talented, but fail to see humility. I appreciate her for coming on, but some of these short term fixes can become a nightmare in the future.
I traveled extensively before i had my son. I didn’t really go anywhere again except local trips until he was 6 or 7. Now we travel together and he remembers everything. Big expensive trips when the child is really young only benefit the adults
What a tragedy and a loss of resources from a lack of financial planning. It’s surly a wake up call for all of us. Live below our means, or be paying it all off when we are older. It will be taking away from my future and from my kids future if they continue on this way.
Christina was debt free with the same total gross incomes of both of them. That was when she earned less, so she spent less. Now that she earns more, she feels that she can spend more, ignoring the other monthly expenses she has. She expects her husband to cover those monthly expenses. She doesn't realise on $ 87,000 credit card, she is paying about $ 23,500/- interest a year I feel she doesn't care about the debt. She wants to travel to have a status in her social circle. Every holiday they go on, ONLY SHE ENJOYS, her husband is tense about the money spent & the repayment of the money. I Hope she is, able to absorb Ramit's guidance on reducing her spending & paying off her debts.
The best for the child is to live in a responsible family, which include having financial freedom. The goal I set myself is to join the top 1% financially within a set timeframe. With my self-motivation I had no doubt of achieving my goal, which I did. I am now working towards my new goal. Right now, Today, these people need to forget everything they have done up to now and start living as grown up responsible adults.
i know how easy it is to get sucked into credit cards. happened to me too. 32:00 i think most of us need a wake up call when it comes to credit card debt!
Your kids not gonna remember the expensive holidays. Theyre gonna remember not having friends because they gotta move houses every year. The things ppldont think abour, seriously. Put yourself in your kids‘ shoes. Would you rather grow up with forgotten holidays or growing up in a house with no money fights. 55:13
Not very smart individuals, I work with a bunch of GmE residents. Their problem? Most of them think they are smarter than everyone else, but in reality they are not smart at all.
Ramit, Love this program! Please consider adding single people, maybe once a quarter? Your show is the only program that does a deep dive and would be helpful to see also for single people. I'm single so yes my request is self serving. haha
If you want your kids to have the best experience that they will remember wait until they're older...10+. My 27 YO son says he remembers very little of the trips we took prior to age 10+. It would be so much more productive for couples to sit down before and get real. I realize that that is one big reason they are doing this with you...they struggle with getting real with where they are with their finances. It's painful to see them struggle. I imagine that it must feel so gratifying to finally have a plan they can work on together. I wish young people would realize that no one care if you have furniture from West Elm or that you take big trips AND if they do, they do not truly care about you. Living within your means, investing whatever you can, and little to no debt is the only way to live a rich life. You are providing such an important gift for these families Ramit.
All my experience and studies into relationships and finances leads me to believe never commit to or marry a “spender.” At least she is a big earner but it still seems miserable. I couldn’t imagine being the earner and the saver… a life of slavery and anxiety; no thanks. Edit: After listening further… both of these people are banned from credit cards. They need the Dave Ramsey system.
The problem here is entitlement based on keeping up appearances...if they are worried about where they are going to live then vacations are a pipe dream. I wish them the best but they have to get over titles and make a plan for money and debt.
To each his own. I'm a boomer and I budget my travels to $1500, whatever that may take me. $1500, all included. I splurged in 2022 for a month in La Paz, B.C., $2100, rent in a tiny bit cozy apartment included. I hope this couple come out on top, and everybody for that matter.
My silent generation, blue collar dad lived frugally. He is comfortable retired now. The man still wears pants from the 80s. However, as kids and today, when he travels…he does not penny pinch. His philosophy is that I don’t spend elsewhere to spend here. Same with my bro, he is really well off, he bucked the peer pressure to join a country club. He bought a beach house and takes one blow out trip per year. He also is not a shopper. His wife is not a shopper. Priorities. Earning it and keeping it are two different skills.
@@Galworld761 That is exactly what I do, in a minor way. I pick my spending battles, hardly ever eating out, cooking most of my meals. I spend my money on concerts because live music is my thing.
Don't travel anywhere. Don't leave the house until the debt is paid off.. How can you ever consider travelling anywhere with that crippling debt hanging over you? Cut up your credit cards. Don't send your kids on guilt trips all over the place. Little kids just want cuddles and listening and affection, not trips to Singapore.. That's just off loading guilt
Talking about money is important, this women need terapist. Everything from her face till the way she talk is a huge red flag. Even if she make milion she will be deep inside full of complex, careless and cold person without the brain and sense of spending. Divorce is unfortunately the only solution. I feel sorry for this man. Some women will be Happy with him. 100k is totally enough for little family if they dowsize and put their standards where it belongs
38:41 Pay close attention to what she says here. She started to say “we will have money in the future” and then corrected herself to say “I will have money in the future.” If you think her husband didn’t pick up on that you’re wrong. He knows she has him be the short and curly’s. This is an interesting study in power dynamics.
" I want to give my 3 year old kid the best" so instead of cancelling my expensive vacation trip that he won't enjoy cause he is 3... I'm moving him to public school, which will save me the same amount my trip is in more than 2 years ..
I got the impression it was because he was going to daycare and is now going to be old enough for public school. There are some really great public schools out there.
Makes me feel lucky. Both my wife and I were raised in lower middle class homes with frugal parents, so we're both extremely frugal even though our combined income exceeds this couple by a lot. Our lifestyle is extremely minimalist and we have a lot of money saved. Our problem is we don't really trust the market, so we invest very conservatively. It's difficult to overcome the tendencies you were raised with I think.
Great job to both you and your wife. Since you have saved up a lot, maybe put small amount into investment for a year to see how it does. I think the expected return in SP 500 is 8 to 10% yearly. If you don't have a financial advisor, you can get one for regular consultation. This is what I did this year in 2023, which helped me change my mind about investing vs. Just saving hard cash as I have a similar tendency like you. Good luck! ❤
Love these videos. Learn a lot. Also appreciate these people's willingness to share their life stories with us. There are countless number of people in similar situation that don't talk about it. Host is also very attentive and engaging. Thanks for posting.
These convos are so real yet so unreal. It’s so helpful for people to talk through it and listen back now or years later will likely drive them crazy 😂 yet this is so familiar and I know friends who are going thru this exact thing
Lol… the timing of the NESS ad. He just said: “Stop it with the signing up for the credit cards with the points!!!” And then the NESS ad comes on. Lol oh the irony 🤦♀️
I think that its common for at least one person in a marriage to be oblivious of the concept of money or not understand the value of a dollar. I think in this situation, that person is Christina.
