The comparison to drinking is spot on. I quit all social media a few years ago. I lost 90% of my acquaintances, but none of my actual friends. The improvement to one's mental health and well being will be very real. I wish you the best with your career and your studies.
i've also compared my relationship to social media to the first time i reassessed my relationship to alcohol. and the first observation was that it was filling a void.
I think it's important to explain and be specific when one declares they've quit social media. RU-vid and blogs are social media. So are dating apps. So is LinkedIn. So, if you are consuming or creating on those platforms, if you're on Bumble or Tinder, you haven't quit all social media. That said, I get your point, and I understand that for a lot of people, some social media platforms are far more toxic than others. For me, it's FB & IG which I quit over a decade ago. I've also never used a dating app and never plan to. But I'm not naive about the fact that the toxicity and anxiety I'm avoiding on FB, IG, and dating apps, is also present on platforms that I still use. It's just far less toxic for me there. All of OP's criticisms of social media are absolutely valid. I quit FB & IG because they were extremely toxic to my mental health, and I was also worried about my privacy. That said, I've lost a ton of relationships as a result, and I'm still reeling from it, years later. I think that's partly because all of my closest relationships don't live in the same city or country as me. That means technology and yes, social media, is the only way to stay in touch, and many of my friends don't like phone calls or even texting. They've admitted as much to me. Trying to schedule a call with them, even a month in advance, is a nightmare. And they are extremely slow to respond to texts. One of my best friends literally takes weeks. I often feel like because I don't share my life on social media, I'm not showing my friends and family that I'm living an interesting life that would compel them to want to stay in touch via text or phone call. It's important to highlight that *quitting social media can make it very hard to maintain long - distance relationships.* Even though, I've lost a lot of relationships from quitting FB, IG, and other social media platforms years ago, I have never wanted to go back. I just find it too toxic. I have more peace of mind, but it does get lonely.
I have recently come to the idea that what people need is to keep journals again. Social media isn't really a journal, or at the least it's not a good one. What many of us need is to be with ourselves and our thoughts. We can write down our hot takes and come back to those in a year's time (maybe longer) and say wow that was really stupid/ridiculous; I'm glad no one other than me has seen this. Not every thought needs an audience
This! I've been replacing social media for journaling and reading and it has totally helped to improve my mental health. Whenever I feel I want to share something on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram I go to my pocket notebook instead. Also whenever I crave to read something on social media, I take a book instead and focus on learning or getting into fiction.
@@saramm3765 so true! I especially hate the self denial, when people write "I don't do it for others, this is just for me" sure.....as if the dopamine from recieven positie comments and likes isn't the main motivation. I often wonder if these people are genuinly unaware or just denying the obvious. People liked to be liked and that's what apps are build on to be addicting.
Best post-social media interaction: I ran into a high school acquaintance and he said "whats your IG?" I dont have one. "do you have Facebook?" Nope. "How should I keep up with you?" I just said: "Well, hopefully I'll run into you around town again!" If it was someone I'd actually want to keep up with I'd have just given him my phone number.
Classic quotes are often the best! not sure on the original author - Penny Reid seems most likely but Pinterest reckon it could be Joan Crawford 😂 Good ol’ social media 🤪
This was spot on me for me as well,the purpose for my socials was to post wellness content to inspire others but consuming social media has been draining really
I've tried to quit so many times, but I keep going back. Your alcohol analogy really brought it home. You've inspired me to try again. Thank you, Cinzia
I’ve been off social media for years, it used to be my go-to to just scroll mindlessly. I deleted my passwords (and any apps) and just focused on being annoyed when I had to put the password in manually. That big on friction gave me the pause to think “I don’t want to go there.”
Start small, activate the Digital wellbeing on your phone and set a timer for each app you use. I started with 2 hours per day, now it's just half an hour. I hope in the future to reduce it to just 15 minutes or less
I read something recently that really connected and this video reminded me: “Not everyone has access to me because I want peace more than attention.” 💜
I logged out of Twitter on my phone a week ago and I had like *physical* withdrawal symptoms for several days? Like anxiety that I didn't know what was "happening"? Scary. But after I calmed down, I felt a lot better both about my life, and about the future of the world
Good for you. I quit facebook 4 years ago and my mental health immediately got better. Instagram went 2 years ago because of hateful comments. I'm now only in two highly moderated discord groups and nothing else. To paraphrase one of your early comments in a different video about loving the wreckage of your life- I destroyed my life leaving social media and I love these ruins.
7 месяцев назад
I deleted all my social media Aug 2022 and I've never felt better. When I told one friend what I was doing, he was so shocked and almost offended that I was doing it. That speaks volumes as to how pervasive the disease of social media is when a person who doesn't have social media or is deleting it is seen as the abnormal one.
Social media makes you more anxious. I've asked women out online and in person (obviously, before I was married), and asking someone out in person w was always so much more fulfilling. It is not as anxiety provoking as you think. If you have a genuine conversation with someone, she will generally give you hints and openers to ask, so just do it. It gets easier each time.
Comparing it to drinking alcohol hit me. I already deleted a huge Instagram account I built over several years. I have been hesitating to delete Facebook but I think this video did me in. Thank you
Completely agree with you. I'm a private person and I'm uncomfortable packaging myself for public consumption. I keep a couple of my social media accounts to keep up with family and close friends I know in real life but live geographically far away from and for raising awareness of the issues of wild horses in the American West and those types of causes. I mainly repost and don't have many posts of my own. I think there is a general unhappiness in the world due to pandemic fallout, political and climate catastrophes and people who are unhappy in general, not to mention how the social media algorithms push controversial content and the chronic cyberstalking is creepy.
Question: did you choose that username after RU-vid recently decided to erase all spaces and capital letters in usernames, as well as add the "@" before them, because if yes, smart username 😁
People are starving for community. We need community centers, good churches, etc etc to pull people together. People are lonely yet everyone is picky about who they hang out with. People choose friends/family to be around the way they choose items to buy. But community in the physical world is essential. The nihilism is bad.
I barely check twitter or FB anymore. So much toxicity and politics. Too much to deal with. It feels so much better to not be wasting hours a day on scrolling.
The negativity is one of the biggest reasons for me quitting social media as well! I've also noticed that I too was getting negative and only noticed negative things just because everyone around me was acting like that, always unhappy or annoyed or sad or mad and whenever I saw that my mood would drop too. And that would encourage me to also write and notice negative things about my life and myself. It was so unheathy
Yeah, Extreme Negativity.. We already have to deal with it within Real Life... I don't need it online as well with complete Strangers whom are Full of Hate about Everything & Anything... Not Worth it.....
I needed this. Social media is so dangerously addictive, but I rarely see people talk about it seriously. I spend way too much time on the internet now. Thank you for making me realize that I should quit it, too.
The website I need to quit the MOST is RU-vid. It eats up my days sometimes, and if I engage with a negative video that happened to be on my recommended videos section, then I will have a parade of more videos on that same topic the following days and it just kills my positive mood because sometimes the topic is just something I can't help but click on and watch, which just makes the problem worse. I'm going to try to use RU-vid only to post videos, and to watch only positive videos while I'm relaxing at home, and see how that works. The key thing is to avoid using it on my phone; that's when I get like hypnotized and can't stop watching, even when I so want to stop. It definitely IS like an addiction.
I am in my 50's now and it has always boggled my mind how people just dump the most personal information about themselves online for anyone to come across. It is good to hear you say this is not a good thing to do. It's also interesting to hear how you like having things to talk about when you get together with others - keeping things out of social media gives us more to discuss and connect on when we meet in person, a very interesting observation.
I am in my 50s too and it is shocking how much people are willing to share, just to get clicks and likes. Someone I have followed for years and enjoy their home styling content shared their miscarriage information, something that surely needed to be kept private between themselves and husband and those closest to them.
im thankful that i didnt experience social media until i was older, i feel greatly for people who grew up with and dont know otherwise. You basically described the reason i myself have gotten out of nearly all the social media I experienced, and why my kids wont be experiencing it until I cannot control what they see anymore. I appreciate your content and hate that it may stop your career online, but if it leads to a happier life then its the right move. On a second note related to what your comments about strangers knowing about your life, i sincerely hope it doesnt take very long for people to realize sharing everything is a bad idea.
Despite being aware of how negative and addictive social media is and aware of its impact on me your way of discussing it has really struck with me and made me feel like I can delete my accounts. Thank you for your wise words ❤
It’s not burying your head in the sand, it shows integrity! So many people are stuck on social media but can’t find the strength to quit. You recognized that twitter and insta are making it easier for people to inflict pain and overstep your boundaries, you took a stand and shut their nonsense down. People online have become so vile over the last 3 years. Twi… sorry, “X” is one of the worst offenders, but they’ve all gotten so toxic.
You out into words how I felt inside after scrolling through the insane drama of other people’s lives and the “willfully ignorant” who made poor choices despite all the resources available. Thank you! This is inspiring me to distance myself from social media.
I love this. I took about 9 months off of social media and it was the most peaceful I've ever been. I'm currently trying to balance using it for business purposes but not being obsessed with it, and it's proving to be a difficult road. I can go days without thinking about it but then obsessively look at it for hours without end. It's so hard to find that balance, but the older I get, the more I want to stay fully offline and not be so open to everyone. I wish we didn't have it, even though I'd miss lovely people like you!
I am struggling so much myself, it's so hard not to loose yourself on RU-vid to replace the social media entertainment ! I guess we have to learn how to be bored before we can become organized, idk if it makes sens (French here lol)
YES! All this! My friends have slowly gone from updating me about their lives personally to just posting to their social media. I’ve gone completely off social media three times now, and I always have to go back because I end up completely out of the loop. The comments on social media are so mean spirited and ignorant. I still take mini breaks because it gets horrible for my mental health.
Oh good for you...I did it a few years ago, secondary to reading Cal Newport's "Digital Minimalism". And tbh...my brain deserves so much more and bettet than social media. RU-vid talks by those I follow...yes, I listen to a few but really...coming off line is all about living your own life rather than watching someone else's. Enjoy the peace and quiet and space to think!
Yes yes yes....our absurd number of friends depends on stupid memes and forwards. I quit as well and was dismayed at first about how left out I felt. I now truly value the friends I have .
Deleting social media was the best thing ever for me. At this point, I only have 1 friend who actively uses it. All of the rest of them? We just text, call, and meet up. I dont miss any of the bs one bit.
this is why i've been actively seeking out snail mail and email penpals...i love unadulterated conversations and the joy of actually getting to know someone organically.
The comparison to drinking alcohol is amazing, that has never occurred to me and it is completely true! Thank you for another great and useful video. :)
You just perfectly verbalised every single thought I've been having for the last few months. I've told myself for years that I need social media to promote my writing and RU-vid channel, but now that Instagram has declined so much and barely any of the followers that I worked so hard for see my posts, I can finally see clearly that it is doing nothing for me. It's such a wild addiction. I constantly feel the urge to take a photo of everything I'm doing to post on my story - what on earth for?! Who cares. My mind feels noticeably clearer when I am off social media, I will try again to beat this addiction.
I agree with you so much. Social media fuels and is fueled by negativity and relationships are becoming more and more fragile and fleeting. Perhaps it's what you said about selfishness and ego. I still cannot cope with stories and being aware of what everyone is doing all day, every day. To think that there are generations who won't be able to have the ability to experience the world without those makes me sad. We should be more critical of social media, how we use it but most of all how it's designed to be addictive, like you've said. PS: the adds!!! Targeted marketing is one thing that you haven't mentioned. Insane.
I so relate !! When I quit instagram almost 2 years ago, it was a game changer in my mind. Nobody was no longer tuned in on my life. And, I had not to find something to tell about me everyday anymore. It was so time, energy, and self consuming. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this topic !
Celebrating you! I stopped using social media end of 2019. I haven’t gone back. I did start a hobby account on instagram where no one knows me and I share my art and view other art. My feed is only inspirational art and puppies! ❤
Speaking for myself, I can imagine social media being used as a tool for a person with a personality disorder to portray rather the depths of how they see themselves, or a portrayal of how they want to be perceived.
Holy moly I think you just changed my life for the better 😮 the way you articulated every point, so direct but so kind but also so blunt, I think I’m set to delete it all now.
Do ittt!! It does take a while to get adjusted to not scrolling through memes, etc. But honestly you will soon realise how much it really doesn't matter whether you see what someone had for lunch on their story or a photo of your friend's neighbour's cat or something! haha
I removed IG and started reading. I have read more books in the past year (7 so far) than I had my previous 50 years of life. Social media is a huge time sucker with no tangible benefits.
Dear Cinzia, Thank you for your efforts here online. Your kind words; "Books save lives", "reading books saves lives", has inspired me to keep going on my "book reading" efforts.📖📚📒📝 Journaling in my private note book, is one of my very special self care pleasures, also. I am so enjoying your posts here on RU-vid. Your intelligence, your way of life, your truth, your amazing life journey. And, I also love your blouse collection in various tones of "cream", "cafe latte", "chocolate", "earthy brown", "fawn", beige, a little micro pokadot, small buttons, long sleeves, silky, perfect tailored fit. You are effortlessly chic, beautiful, feminine, strong, magnificent, modest, powerful, determined, amazing, and such an inspiration. 🎉🏰🎠 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 💝💖💕💝💖💕 This is a great topic, and yes, I have been very saddened by the folks who I have visited, and have snapped at me, ..."just look at my Facebook, if you want to know what's happening in my life!" 😢 Yikes. In person, over lunch, over a coffee, is so important, for conversation and connecting with loved ones. Yours sincerely, Miss Holly Staindl Glover Court, Toorak Victoria Australia 3142
My single objection to this video is that I think RU-vid is also a form of social media! The entire rest of this is spot on though, and I think it's a very wise choice.
I’m glad to hear you escaped the toxic environment that is social media. I’ve been feeling the shackles of social media myself, mainly just using it as a distraction. Something to kill time or keep my mind occupied. I’ve been trying to reduce my screen time lately, exchanging phone time for book time or writing short stories in my notebooks instead of on my laptop. I even started an instagram because that’s what I’ve been told to do to promote my writing even though I hardly ever use it. So maybe I’ll stop before that particular trap closes on me.
😊 kudos to you!!! I am not on social media. It’s basically a platform for voyeurism. There was a time when privacy was coveted, today however people can’t wait to tell all to perfect strangers. It’s shocking to me.
I quit Facebook and never really used Instagram much and didn’t have twitter or any of the other ones because I found myself angry constantly after reading things people were saying on Facebook that were false or just mean. All of the trauma dumping and bragging that was going on there was really effecting my mental health negatively. I can to the conclusion that there were a lot of things that I would just rather not know about and losing that “connection” with people was a sacrifice that would be well made.
Thank you for sharing! Today marks the actual day that my instagram accounts delete. It’s been about two months that I have been off of it and today it’s official, official. I relate so much to the many reasons you explained. I too feel more at peace in my mental space. As someone who thinks about everything all the time, instagram was absolutely chaotic. lol. Im glad I finally just took the leap. It’s been wonderful.
i'm surrounded by people that can not handle the darkness in my experience, they are sweet but they cant handle it. without conversing with similar people online, my loneliness would be much deeper.
I recently started to make more time for myself, to occupy on my greater passions: reading and music. It´s amazing how time flies doing what you love, and I started to realize that I wasn´t checking my mobile as often as I usually did. No guilt of course, but it amazes me how much extra time I was giving to social media. I haven´t quit them yet, but I really feel happier just for giving a little more time to do what I love the most. Great video Lady!
First off you are so well spoken. I see such a difference in your confidence and your underlying calmness. I'm so happy for you and the changes you've made in your life.
Tip: if you are in university, delete your Facebook WHILE you are there in uni, not after. That way you will have a better idea of who your actual friends are. You know, people you talk to every day face to face. You may get some knowing looks when you quit Facebook, but then again you may not. People tend to have so many "friends" on there that they won't even notice. And then, just ask people's phone numbers. It doesn't have to be weird. You can ask other guys for theirs if you work out together or hang out. And I definitely had phone numbers from women who weren't my girlfriend (now wife) who I was doing projects with, or who knew my wife. Every once in a while there are some people who wont give out their number, for some reason, but these people are rare. Just be decent. Text before you call. And as long as you are talking to them less than your significant other you should be fine.
Completely understandable. I see stuff on Twitter and complain to my girlfriend about it instead of just not seeing it and enjoying time with her. It's extremely addictive and I think that's due to moments of perceived dullness. "Oh there's nothing to watch on TV-" "I don't have anything to talk about-" "All my friends are on their phones anyway-" "-so I'll just check my phone real quick." It's a bad habit. But it's not treated like one which is the real issue. Great video, very thought provoking. Hopefully I can bring myself to do the same some day.
Thank you. I quit twitter a month ago after years of being trolled, and developing an OCD which I’ve had to get help for. It took me years to quit. I was in an abusive relationship with Twitter. Nothing I did worked. I guess deep down inside, I didn’t really want to be free. Then Elon announced he might get rid of the block function. That meant that my trolls would be able to have full access to me. What little control I actually had would be gone. So I deleted my account just like that. It’s been a month and I feel free at last.
I couldn’t agree with you more on this. It is something I struggle with perpetually as an entrepreneur who hates social media. Every time I take breaks for months at a time, I feel so much happier. And I absolutely love how you put it, “I can’t set myself on fire to keep other people warm.” It’s so true. I keep hearing newsletters are the way to circumvent the need for social media but as I’m just starting off in my business, I’m wondering if I need to put in some time online in order to build it up. 🤷🏻♀️ Good luck, I’ve started following you and wish you the best of luck! 💗
I quit social media so instead of my friends having to tell me what’s going on in their lives, I have zero interaction with anyone that doesn’t live in my house lol but I’m okay with that.
Update: I have Reddit for occasional use and use it like MumsNet lol, but basically still don't have it. However I now see RU-vid as social media and working harder to try and be a creator vs consumer.
BRAVO !!! You did the Wisest thing any human being could do. I did exactly the same Years ago from the very same negative things I've experienced. I wish normal people could realize the same conclusions you did.
Wise words, a lot of people would benefit from living a real life to an online one. Sharing personal info is an unbelievable error that people do without thinking. Digital decluttering is so refreshing.
I deleted Facebook in 2014 but I still enjoy youtube for its abundance of diverse and interesting topics. I’ve learned to knit and sew via youtube and have also repaired my radio and grow micro greens!
Cinzia, I hope to one day have the courage to do exactly the same. To me, Social Media has been a source of discontent rather than the well of innocent and happy connectedness it should be, however, being an artist, it is a necessary evil for now. I am not as easily communicative in vídeo, and therefore Instagram is still a medium to show some things off. You inspire me to step up my game so as to not need it anymore anytime in the future, and I, for one, am glad to see your thoroughly well-researched long form videos, you are a beacon of light, politeness and knowledge that should be celebrated anywhere you go. I hope your departure from social media brings you the peace you seek and that more and more People get to see you here. I admire you and I am sure thousands of people do as well.
I couldn’t agree more with every point made. I quit social media in 2021 and don’t think I will go back. I’ve become a parent and trying to be productive in my day to day in a much healthier way. And it’s taken off so much pressure and has made me feel grounded and present. Good for you for making the decision to step back
This was a great video!!! I got off Facebook and Twitter many years ago and made my Instagram only for keeping up with the book community and things like cooking and decorating accounts. It has made such a difference in my life for the better and I love it.👏🏽
Great analogies between social media and booze - "imagine drinking while on the toilet". Ironically RU-vid is also massively addictive. I never gave in to pressure to win Facebook years ago and only use LinkedIn for jobs and WhatsApp for messaging. the rest always struck me as pointless. Your comments about being looked up by a guy you went on a date with, shows just how right I was. Well done for doing this and I wish you every success.
I've watched a lot of videos about this topic and I think this one is the most complete and precise. Thanks for sharing: I identified totally with your experience. I quit social media too a few weeks ago, and it has been liberating. Cheers from Chile, Southamerica.
No Facebook for five years now... Still, I'm active, get out a lot to bars, cafes, play guitar and have friends. Don't miss it. And out of 210 so-called friends on social media, only two or three bothered to check to see if I was still around. If social media works for you, carry on but it's not for me and have no FOMO whatsoever.
I totally agree with you but am too scared to go fully into it! For me, it’s more about time wasting and seeing discriminatory attitudes. I’m trying for the middle road at present, but if it fails then m with you! Happy reading 💖
You’re pretty much hit the hammer on the nail with this vlog. I’ve was on social media for six years and quitting it was the best decision. I ever made literally over the first two weeks of leaving it. My sleeping patterns got better. My concentration got better and my general mental and physical health improved a hell of a lot. I started to go out a lot more talking to people and just enjoy my life as it was before social media took over and consumed the world with its manipulation.
I will never regret permanently deleting all social media. Very peaceful, compared to that toxic/negative online one. Plus, none of it's real. People just say the most outlandish things to get views/make money and outdo others. I love your video. Keep creating in a better environment.
I agree with your views on social media, I got rid of all of it a while ago and I've been happier ever since. I also watch a lot of RU-vid and sometimes feel so watch too much. However I do occasionally find something that I feel is actually enriching and inspiring to watch, I think this channel is in that category. I also found your channel organically on RU-vid.
This video is so validating. I have had some of these exact thoughts...and then promptly thought it was wild of me to think these things. Thank you thank you for sharing your view.
I applaud your efforts. I am beginning to think and try to find ways to do OTHER THINGS than being on social media, to use something else to preoccupy my time. I am tired of rude, unfriendly people in the comments section and I am tired of RU-vid and other social media channels constantly recommending and promoting to me thins I AM NOT interested in or, things that I might be interested in, BUT THOUSANDS of repetitive videos. I am tired of the shallow, unintelligent people on social media and I am tired of the hundreds of sale ads bombarding me and even scammer sales calls on my Android phone.
I felt that when you said you were becoming misanthropic. Social media crystallizes so many bad human traits and behaviors in one place that I find myself disgusted by humanity sometimes. Not nearly as much before socials. Maybe I just had my head in the sand.
👏👏👏👏this was so needed. Especially the "no one talks about this" bits. Thank you so much for this!! I am a content creator and lost my phone last December. I decided to delete all social media except RU-vid and WordPress. I feel tons better not being so accessible and vulnerable - so much happier with myself.
