THIS!!! Diabolical is the word. It sounds to me like the person who will psychologically abuse his partner and remove her agency just because he's afraid to be wrong, criticized or looked down on. He takes no accountability and that is a dangerous trait in a partner. He needs therapy
Agree 100% with Tammy on the dilemma. That was the exact thought I had...today it's hiding that you gave away a tea set, then tomorrow it's lying about where you're going and then hiding a secret bank account...no thank you! But accountability can be considered of course lol
I would never advise a woman to stick with a man who has gaslit, disrespected her, stolen from her and then tried to continue the deceptive plot until she found him out & then only apologized when she was leaving. Nah, go through with the divorce. That man hates you.
Dilema reaponse: I think it’s the principle honestly if he dismissed her feelings and invalidated how sentimental the items where to her. how will he handle something more serious down the line i feel like when you love someone you value what they value even if you don’t fully understand because that’s you loving a person for who they are. My grandmother was a coin collector and many of people have asked me to sell them or get them appraised and I won’t because I value the memories of grandmother sitting and telling me stories about where she found her coins and the history behind them but because the people around me don’t have those same memories they don’t understand why I keep them. But they respect me when I say no I just want to keep them.
I would say its a valid reason for divorce. Why would somebody want to stay in a relationship where they don’t trust the person they share a bed with every night? Someone they know has no problem prioritizing other people’s feelings over theirs ( a CHILD’s feelings at that), doesn’t have any remorse and isn’t upset at what they did; they’re only upset they got caught.
It doesn't matter what the object was. The fact that he was not able to tell his wife about his niece's interest in the tea set, the fact that he went behind her back to give away the set without first consulting with her, the fact that he didn't mention it to her after the fact (which tells me that he knew he shouldn't have), the fact that he lied to her when she went looking for it instead of coming clean and saying that he gave it away ho his sister... Even if we give him the benefit of the doubt and suppose he didn't know the sentimental value of the set, the fact that his first instinct was to lie is very shady. And then when he was found out, the way that he belittled her, ridiculed her, called her set of fine china a children's toy instead of just saying "I'm sorry, I should have consulted with you before giving it away. Let me see what I can do to get it back"... That man does not respect her, and sure as hell does not have the humanity and the self esteem required to admit his own wrongs. He has a lot of growing up to do, and he's lied and hurt his wife too much for her to be safe around him at this point. I would run away from that filth as quickly as I can.
IT IS NOT JUST A TEA SET. IT IS THE PRINCIPLE.. Theres a scripture in the bible that says if someone isnt loyal in the small things they will not be in the big things. There was so much deceit and lack of respect in this situation. His sister was soooo wrong to STEAL tht from her. She opened up about her grandams tea set, it was important to her... doesnt mattwr if its childish to them. T o HER it was important. Thats what matters. Its not HIS place to give thT to anybody. His sister and her husband stabbed her in the back. He is not trustworthy and didnt CARE. Thiss is done. He threw it away over a tea set, he knew how much it meant to her. Its not about the tea set. Its about the principle, the deceit behind all of it. His lack of care and respect. Im with her. Done
It's a lack of respect on top of that because he started attacking her verbally, psychologically, and mentally. He does not respect her, point blank, period.
I don't think this was the first instance where her husband did something deceitful or gaslighted her. When she said her antennas went up after he said the teapot didn't grow legs and run away, that means he's probably done shady things in the past because if someone I'm living with and know is honest said that, it wouldn't raise red flags. And the fact that he was talking secretly on the phone with his sister and didn't tell his wife that he gave it away shows that he didn't even have remorse knowing that she was searching all over for it. He could've bought his niece the Wal-Mart set like Beatrice said but instead he showed the niece that it's okay to take things that don't belong to you because you like it.
That man is a thief o!!! He stole from his wife for who not even himself for his sister & niece He aided it….. That’s deep!!!!! He doesn’t value the wife at all o! I am angry on her behalf
You guys seemed so jolly and happy in your old podcast (BTS), the uncut feels more scripted and it gives a feel like you just want to finish this episode! Bless you guys I know it’s hard work
All three of these women are sooooo funny! Beatrice with her one word punchlines and reactions to wildness, Tammy's straight face savage lines and Sharon with the dramatic imitations and cultural inclusions 😂😂😂😂 love every bit of this podcast
52:17 I had the same understanding as Tammy and Sharon. We must’ve been listening to a different letter. 😂😂 I was shocked when Beatrice reread that part.😮 😂😂😂
Hey ladies, I love this show and content. For Dilemma 1: You can never tell someone how mad to get. She did go over board but its her grannies and family treasure.
Dilemma response: I’m not saying reconciliation shouldn’t be on the table, but ole dude would not only have to apologize. He would need to take accountability and atone for his transgressions. SMH 🤦🏾♀️ It is a major red flag to not only steal from your partner, but to gaslight her and then try to humiliate her is wild. They would need to do serious work to regain trust, because like Tammy said it could have been anything but the actions he took spoke louder of his character and what he is willing to do. Honestly that’s really the deeper issue.
I had my husband pay our air bnb host in a city we visited to get my travel blanket back I left because it's something my mother gifted me when I graduated training from the forces. It means everything to me, so I get it.
This was the straw that broke the camels back for her. That's NOT the first time he's stolen from her for his family. He knows it was handed down and her intentions with that tea set. Why didn't he buy the niece a brand new tea set?
I dreamt my ex was cheating and a month later found out he was on dating apps again, I literally almost never dream but that warning was an express delivery 😂
I was dating a guy for 5 years and by the time the last and final year was coming up I kept telling him “ we’re not going to make it past 5 years” and he thought I was crazy. And sure enough just as soon as that 5th year passed his side chick exposed herself because he left his phone at her place and she texted me. Then a few months later I had a dream someone near me or close to me was pregnant so I asked him and he always denied it then 7 mths go by I finally see this chick for the 1st time face to face and sure enough she was big and pregnant… them dreams ain’t nothing to play with lol
Gosh, I just cannot understand the husband's rationale. From what I see, it sounds like he thought that the tea set could be of monetary value because if it was just about the tea set being for kids, why would he not just give the Walmart one to the little girl? Why does he want them to hide it and make the little girl an accomplice to the crime? Is it not valuable things that are stolen and hidden? To me, I feel divorce could be extreme but perhaps this is just 1 scenario in a long string og times that the husband has maltreated her or she may also feel like it's the principle and if this is how he's responding about this, she doesn't want to wait to see how he'll pick his family over her in a more serious situation
I get the whole dream thing is true most of the time but once the guy I was with had a dream I was cheating on him with his best friend, and that wasn't true. The guy I'm with now had a dream I left him and he went to my best friend that I cheated. And I haven't cheated
Families are sometimes your marriage's enemies, catch it. In both families there are people knowingly stepping on those boundaries and disrespecting feelings, the op's families saying she's overreacting and leaving over the set, just demonstrate how little they care and consider her feelings irrespective of the item it was over, families will sometimes tell you to keep swallowing poison for the sake of not being a drama queen or whatever, on the husband's side how can an adult, sane minded person not only steal something for their daughters, because it's pretty or for children, but also defend their actions instead of repenting and giving it back? What kind of people are you raising?? Husband needs to hang out with the birds, I would have asked for divorce fr
