I Tried to Guess what the Weirdest TEMU Items Do 

Everyone will get $100 coupon bundle by clicking here to shop my picks, including exclusive deals for new Temu app shoppers: temu.to/m/u4xprerzojh Or search “Jontron” in the Temu app to apply ✅ Click to get First-time Temu app users exclusive free products: temu.to/m/ubkm4aca84f

A temu ad? This is what you get when you wish for a new JonTron episode using the monkey's paw

Bants aside, remember that Temu are currently under investigation for holding card details and incrementally withdrawing money from customer bank accounts. :) If you've brought from Temu before and notice that you have random withdrawals of weird amounts every now and then...it's Temu. :')

JonTron - "thank's for sending us stuff Temu." Temu - "Lets get rid of all this random shit that no one wants".

sorry dawg, but TEMU is a hard no from me. Underhanded business practices, retail-to-dumpster product model, and an institution that is helping destroy what few local businesses still exist. Nobody should be giving this company their money. All they do is sell garbage which is going directly into the landfill.

I gotta keep it real with you, Jon... Nobody wants to hand over their credit card info and home address to the Chinese Government.

I don't feel I can criticize Jon too much for partnering with Temu, considering I can't imagine a single person leaving this video with any desire to shop there.

Reminds me of the episode of iCarly where they advertised those horrible shoes that caught on fire randomly and they were like "perfect for roasting weenies!"

That break the targets bit was the closest we've got to jontron gaming content we've got in like 7 years

If you arent already aware: Temu is currently being sued by a class action and the US government for security breaches. Once the app is on your phone they can access every piece of data available. Just because Jon was sponsored doesnt give them credibility, they're not a safe company. Edit: okay since I need to spell it out for people with crayons apparently: I made this comment because the video is about Temu. It is not about Facebook or Google or tiktok. Some of us are able to stay on topic and still have some level of media literacy. Temu is specifically dangerous because they are not an American company therefore do not have to follow American safety procedures like Facebook does. Facebook has already been in front of congress, but since Temu is based outside of the US, that's not how this works. Warning people about Temu ISNT FEARMONGERING it's informing people about an app that is considered malware by literally every software developer you will speak to. Temu specifically is not a necessity. You cannot live a functional life in 2024 offline, you don't NEED social media and can be total happy offline, but your social life WILL be severely stunted. Even your professional life in some cases since a lot of jobs require LinkedIn. Temu on the other hand is literally not necessary to anyone. Please educate yourself on how the world works. You cannot continue to be this fucking brain dead in the year of out lord 2024.

NOOO JONTRON!! Not the Temu sponsorship!!! 😭😭😭

Never heard of this service... Just bought 8 PS5s for free. All it required was my credit card information and SSN!

Temu really just pay Jon just so he can trash their product.

A new JonTron video: 😀 It's sponsored by Temu: 😒

I'm glad to report that I got a Flex Caulk ad before the start of this video and I watched it all. We love you, Phil Swift.

man just started huffing portable high frequency mystery fumes

A Temu partnership is like the homeless guy with a trolley full of crap dumping it at your front door after you said something nice to him Edit: never had this many likes, thanks everyone 🥹🙏❤️

Two JonTrons in one month?!? How lucky are we!

Jontron getting sponsored by Chinese spyware 💀

Remember when old JonTron used to just be silly funny games/movies ? I miss those times

I love how Jon says "this shit is garbage" without explicitly saying it because sponsor panopticon Edit: because of one guy who couldn't let it go, here's an overly complicated explanation to ruin the joke. A panopticon is a central tower that observes all prisoners at once and enforces compliance with little effort from the warden at the expense of prisoners' sanity and privacy. My use of panopticon is hyperbolic in that Jon is not literally a prisoner but enslaved to capitalism like the rest of us. Requiring that his voice be policed to ensure he gets his allotted kibble and temu gets its investment back through purchases made by viewers of this and other sponsored videos. However, by reading between the lines, you can infer that Jon does not actually think anything he shills is a good product by the way he describes it. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

Well there's our 2 Jontron videos for the year done already

The tradition of Jon not knowing how to end his videos continues. Godspeed

JonTron could make this an infomercial channel and we'd all still watch

I love how this video is basically completely trashing the product while still being sponsor friendly

i swear Jon doesn't look like he's aged a day since 2014

Jon Tron trucking me into a10 minute Temu ad and I'm actually not upset. The irony of a company paying someone to make fun of the things they sell is fantastic.

I'm sure none of these will give him lead or mercury poisoning.

Kinda amazing Temu thought this would be a good sponsorship opportunity. Says far more about them than Jon. "Hey, here's a bunch of junk we're selling, maybe it works correctly"

Do not put the temu app on your phone. it's basically asking for a data breach.

This is so strange to me that he’d do something like this. Like seriously, he has to be getting hundreds upon hundreds of sponsors reaching out to try to collaborate with him with the amount of subscribers he has, but he picks one of the worst ones and makes an entire video on it? They must have offered him an insane amount. At least Raid Shadow legends isn’t actively stealing your money…

Never have I seen a bald JonTron when trying that cap out. Now all he needs is his head to stretch like a Conehead.

I cannot believe JonTron does enough work to have a crew.

"Put your right hand in the Moai" "What's in the Moai?" "Pain"

3:43 it's the Gom Jabbar from Dune...

Jonny-boy needs to get in on some of that 'Flex Caulk' action.

Wait hold on! this is not satire, bro is genuinely doing a 10min ad for TEMU

Don't buy from this site.

I can't believe it, two Jontron videos so close together. We must be living in a simulation

The Egghead incident will shake the world

I'm pretty sure JT only makes videos when he is running low on coin. It's the only way to describe his chaotic post schedule.

Free money for a sponsorship to literally show items that would make people NOT want to shop at TEMU. If anything this is an ad against it, and I think he knows it.

It's cool how the Chinese government is willing to sponsor JonTron.

Jontron I want to thank you on behalf of temu for buying products from the Xinjiang province. Because of your patronage only 12 orphans died the factory.

the temu partner just makes this 100x better LOOOL

2 Jontron videos within a week is a miracle. The world is healing.

Egghead Maxxing? sounds like all 5 elder stars coming there to max the chaos

I just love your energy and humor man. You could talk about anything and I'd be entertained for at least a decade already. Thanks fir continuing to internet 😂❤

I love how every item almost was some bootleg electronic torture device.

The editing team working like Jon threatened their families on this one.

I really hope Jon Tron is back uploading regularly... it would be the first time in history and a glorious moment.

I’m struggling through a difficult and strange break up and Jontron has really helped me through it so far. I find myself laughing at something he says or does so hard i forget I’m sad. I even rewatch an episode just days later and it still makes me laugh. My favorite right now is when he does bootleg Pokémon and he sees an enemy that’s absolutely disgusting. His reaction is to die for😂😂 so I guess I’m saying ,”Thank you Jon for your joy and your amazing humor throughout the last couple of years since I was shown your channel. Please keep being you.”

I thought it would be good, then I realized it was a giant ad for Temu. Those bills must be coming in hard.

i dead ass got a flex seal ad on this video

There was a crew behind months of waiting for videos to come out?😂

At first, I was incredibly upset seeing Jon do a TEMU ad. But the guy just took their money to insult them, 10/10 video.

You can always trust Jon to take any sponsor and then immediately trash them in the most sponsor friendly way possible

I can't believe I got an ad from Phil swift for another flex tape product while watching a John tron video.

Two jontron video in less than 3 months, the gods have blessed us!

8:45 this is something GOOP would dropship

Fisher Price wifi router actually killed me lol

Temu "lets make a commercial letting people know it's pronounced Teh-moo" Jon "So I partnered with Tee-moo"

Jon is now a major shareholder in the Cadmium mines that temu puts in their products

C'mon Jon you, you didn't need a Temu sponsorship to make this video possible.

That portable high frequency thing is for the alternative medicine crowd. There used to be a thing called a "violet ray wand" waaaaaay back in the day that had a similar premise. The eerie glow of electrical discharge was said to cure basically everything (It doesn't). This is that but spruced up and using a different noble gas. Same snake oil, different era. Same with those other red light things like the face massager and hat.

No mention of their suspicious and possibly illegal storage of credit information?

What gets me is that one of two things happened - either they knew that'd get a LOT of hate for this temu sellout video, but decided to do it anyway - or they had NO CLUE about the obvious outcome they'd face for shilling a scam website. Frankly, I'm not sure which is more embarrassing. Respect lowered.

As usual a fun video, but seriously to anyone reading this comment, don't shop at TEMU. Chinese bootleg stores are never a good shopping place.

I've been told Temu doesn't actually check the output of the sponsored videos... And it looks to me that Jon wasn't exactly trying to sell those junk products to us... What if he just managed to troll Temu with a super quick video to shoot, throwing a joke or two during the "reviews", to just took their money? XD I don't actually condone this, but it could be something Jon would do XD

A Temu sponsorship on a video showcasing its oddest items is consumerism irony at its finest

7:53- I instantly thought of Jack Nickelson in anger management.

I'm glad you didn't get nerve damaging burns from these products!

I still have no idea how JT can afford a studio and a crew on a one 10 minute video a year budget. But fun vid dood 😊

So, do you plan on doing Retro Reviews again in the future?

Are you working your way through the 7 deadly sins? Last video was sloth, this one is greed.

"Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need." Tyler Durden, Fight Club

10:34 Note: Jon did not died on the way back to his home planet. Unlike Poochie. 😂

It's that time of year where JonTron uploads multiple videos for a few months and then retreats to his sasquatch cave

Finally, I have a portable high frequency device to use in the bath, thanks Jon & Temu!

Don't buy from Temu, at best it's gonna be a shitty product you don't need, and at worst it's made through extremely unethical labor practices

Oh god, this is like when you go over to your relative's house when you're a child and see the weird shit they have that you have no idea what it is.

DUDE what is that HAIR?! Went to the barber and said "gimme the 'bullies gave me a swirlie but then also gave me a bowl cut after' cut"

I love that Temu payed jon to tradg their products for 10 minutes

Yay, we all LOOOOOOVE Temu ads. Not outwardly and obviously unethical at all

I think Jon trusts that most of us are not braindead enough to download Raid Shadow Legends or Temu, and the ones who are were a lost cause anyway.

wait Jontron uploading twice in one month let alone a year? Is this real life?

3:37 Jontron: "What's in the box?" Reverend Mother Superior: "Pain"

5:32 Jon finally found the legendary Boxing Wurstle.

The academy award level acting in not knowing that the Portable High Frequency device is just an S&M Electro Stim kit. 😂

Jon you should totally make this whole thing its own separate series, it's fun to watch you analyze random stuff you or your crew buy online

$50 says next vid will center "The Willy Wonka Scam"

Jon if you keep this style 10:07 and adopt Sins as your last name, many industries will start offering you job offers.

I'm all for more JonTron but idk ab this one.

So, who is going to tell him that the device at 8:34 is a sex toy? It's called a Violet Wand, and I have one upstairs :p. Nice to know TEMU sells one for so cheap. If that is a solid-state one, then it's much cheaper than the one I bought at the Holywood Hustler store.

when Jon put the over cooked deep dish on his head, i started crying with laughter. It seemed funnier than what it actually was.

0:52 that one frame killed me

Take Temu sponsorship but not make them desirable to use, well played Jon.

Who else got a Temu ad before the video started?

Ok, is it just me, or did BALD JonTron actually sort of pull off the look??(!) Maybe all those red lights and frequency machines are getting to me 😂

4:12 Starcade flashbacks