There needs to be more discussion around co-dependency with FRIENDSHIPS as well. All relationships should be balanced but I think people can forget that with friends. Your friends should be dependable but not your everything, just like romantic relationships.
Thank you! People depend so much on their friendships for everything and get mad when they don’t meet the ridiculous standard they’ve made for them. Get a life and be okay with sorting things out yourself
@@teeen3486 There is type of friendship that you will never get that why you have that opinion. Some friendship is not the same when it comes to how close you guys are or if you two are best friend. If you willing to react that why to your best friend then good luck being friendless. No one deserve a best friend like that.
I’m so glad my generation of women are embracing the life of a single childfree woman that does as she likes and doesn’t chase a man ❤ I love my career path, giving back and seeing/ living in different parts of the world 🙏🏾
@@asia_nzeakoit’s not even more beautiful,let women do what they want and don’t put them down just because they don’t want to do what society tells them to🙄
the peekaboo of liking a guy, male validation, talking stage jumping and no one fitting the bill is so exhausting i just want to pour all this energy into friendships and make them as fufilling as you do
0:38 omg, i relate to this so much! i literally had to end a friendship with my then best friend because she had become so male-centered and didn't seem to see the value and meaning of any experience or moment unless this experience was spent in the company of a man. plus, all the time we spent together she only ever talked about men... this went on for years until i finally got tired and decided to leave our friendship behind. i understand the desire for a romantic partner, i feel it too... but centering our entire lives around it like it is the only good thing we could have in life is certainly not healthy. our friendships are just as special and meaningful as a romantic relationship imo.
oh my goodness, I empathise with you so much. and once, I realized how good and amazing sisterhood is , i got so hurt when she ised to choose her boyfriend over me
I’m very grateful that my best friend of 10+ years has had a boyfriend for half of those years and she has never neglected our friendship. I’ve never met her boyfriend, and she rarely talks about him. But I just had a weekend girls trip with her. She values her female friendships and has never been boy crazy.
Woah the intention and thought you guys put into answering my question made me so emotional. Also you guys read me to filth LOL but I needed to hear it!! I’ve been really trying to let people in more especially this year so I can’t thank you guys enough for the advice!! Love you ki 🫶🏽
Ugh needed this. I think what I struggle with is having social media play a role in friendship breakups. The rude undertone or passive aggressiveness that comes with removing/deleting a close friend after you’ve ended the friendship is what I struggle with. I always feel bad? But I feel like it’s worse holding onto an energy that you know no longer serves you like you said, but for some reason I feel like such a bitch for unfollowing the person because I don’t want them to see me as a bad guy and I want to keep the “peace”. I think deep down I think it just hurts me to know that it’s really over if I remove them especially when the friendship didn’t end with hate/drama, but not doing so pulls me back into a sticky nostalgic energy when I see them on my feed again 😅 but you’re right, you have to let go someone completely in order to make space for something better so thank you for giving me the courage to unfollow a friend I’m no longer friends with even though it hurts ❤
There could really be a whole dissertation on the role social media plays in sustaining relationships that don't need to be in your life. I used to keep following people too but now I use the block button like it's my best friend ( i just let the friend know I i don't wish to see them on my feed/have them disrupt my work flow) since social media is my job
I’m wayyyyy older than you. But, I admire that you travel and experience life instead of putting priority on being in a relationship. When the time is right you will find love. Yes, women should have balance you are more than a wife, mother, etc build a full life full of other things outside of a man. ❤
14:18 The thing you said about envy is so so true! I'm muslim and in my culture we believe envy is so bad it could literally destroy your life. Even if someone secretly envies you, it's just too dangerous to keep around. I had a friend admit to me that she was jealous of me one time and would only want to hear about my problems - when I told her something positive was going on in my life she would literally hang up the phone in my face or just visibly get uncomfortable. My life hasn't been the same since she entered it and now I try to keep away from her...
I loved everything about this video. the emotional maturity, self awareness, and critical advice!!! i love love love seeing and hearing these perspectives shared among young people trying to figure out this life ♥
i had literally been scrolling through your videos looking for one where you speak about this and now loook😞💗💗💗 i remember you spoke about how friendships were so much more fufilling for you than relationships and it changed my life and caused a shift i wanted to watch it again so it can make that mental shift again !!!! ugh this really means a lot to me because i couldn't find the video in the end God is so good
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS 😩😭❤️ I related to just about every topic and I love seeing friendships like this it reminds me that relationships like this are possible I just have found them yet
Wow, that whole piece of advice y'all gave about being avoidant really hit hard. It was something that I needed to hear, and I'm actually gonna try to practice it
the way i was legit feeling this right now! i haven’t watched the video yet, but i’ve also been the single friend growing up, and it’s hard, especially being queer and i just feel so awkward and out of place compared to everyone else
Honestly this video is amazing, lately i've been a slump, I haven't been performing or acting, or even doing the things I want-- Honest to god I put everything on the backburner. I think I really needed to hear you say you value progressive people, people who know what they want and they fucken reach for it. For the longest time I felt I was going through the motions.
I was always the single friend. Got a relationship. It sucked! Now I’m glad being the single friend. I don’t have to worry about anything but my own success, feelings, and happiness. No one is cheating on me or gaslighting me.
i love this video. ive had many boyfriends but often feel so confused at how much time my friends spend with their bf over me. any friend i have that does have a bf (even the ones w a gf too tbh) is never alone when i call. like??
For some of these, I really get the sense of homoromantic feelings and attachments, I think for some of us, we need to consider the levels we hold our close friends to and reflect on our feelings deeply especially when there's many misunderstandings. This is especially when the emotional intensity/distress is one sided, if you're both okay with what y 'all's relationship is its different.
Me and my best friend have been friends for almost 20 years she's had a significant amount of partners in that time I've recently had one, but she has never neglected me nor me her she's never been male centered and obviously neither have I and I think thats the bulls eye because how can you let go of sisterhood or normal close friendship over a man lol especially one not serious enough to even become your life partner. And like you said if the man was really good he would encourage you to Foster your friendships the way he definitely fosters his
boo men and testostrone? have yall met lesbians? my HG relapsed and got deported for her shawty 😭...and i was the one helping her stay sober so she doesnt get deported
I’m shocked by the title. Like same babe but what’s going on? You got the personality, the passion, the success, the beauty. It doesn’t make sense lol. Unless you’re avoidant 🥴(I am) lemme watch the video.
Oooo yes to having standards. Idk if you relate, but I find myself flipping from both. I’ll wanna self sabotage then stop myself then realize it’s not what I want and I’m like okay next.
The way I interpreted it was as though she was disregarding her friend now that she has a boyfriend. Ideally you'd still keep your platonic relationships healthy while in a romantic relationship (if you wanted to)
You don't plan a future if your best friend, and plan buying a condo if you want to get married or have a serious relationship. You plan that with your significant other and it doesn't matter if you are straight or gay If you want to plan a future with your best friend and don't want a serious relationship, go ahead. I'm not saying that you need throw all your friendships because of a relationship, you just need to know that you will plan your future with your partner and not your best friend
Planning a future with a significant other doesnt mean that you should throw away your friend ships. Which is usually what these people are describing, that they had a friend and when that friend got into a relationship, they threw away the friendship.
There is something quite juvenile about lamenting in the fact that you are single with a teddy bear in your lap, a pimple patch on your face, and covering your hands with your sleeves.
Kianna please I used to watch your video with Joel 🫶🏾 titled “the tea on toxic relationship” all the time and it helped me sooo much but I can’t find it anymore 😞😞
I’m very grateful that my best friend of 10+ years has had a boyfriend for half of those years and she has never neglected our friendship. I’ve never met her boyfriend, and she rarely talks about him. But I just had a weekend girls trip with her. She values her female friendships and has never been boy crazy.
