"I've Been Trying for Ten Years... and No Awakening!" 

A different way to "look" at this question. _ The identity "I", "me", "you" cannot wake up. _ It is an identity constructed of thoughts, of concepts. It is a story. _ A story does not wake up. What is awake is not an identity. _ There is "no one" there, no identity to awake. _ Conceptual constructs do not awaken, other than in story form, and stories are just movements of thought. _ Movements of thought might be considered as the substance of the dream. _ As long as there is a "you" identity of any sort, then the story is sustaining the dream. _ Who awakens? _ "No one" awakens. _ The finite mind can never comprehend what is awake, what is the ineffable.

Your commitment to helping people wake up on the daily floors me. I’ll sing your name until the day I die.

Gratitude all day long. Keep pulling yourself back to gratitude. Eventually, that perspective becomes your reality.

It's never been about learning, it's always been about emptying out the trash in our head.

I feel like trauma/cptsd or shadow, whatever you want to call it is a huuuuuuge deal that would be worth elaborating on in you channel. I don't know, it's just like an intuition but I've been living for a long time with a question "what's wrong with me?" and after a long time I did a retreat by myself. After three days of intense crying I was like "... wait a second, these are thoughts, just thought, EVERYTHING IS ALLRIGHT!" I felt like my addictions fell away, I felt energetic yet calm, I didn't even know about this whole awakening thing. In the past I had this feeling that I am in everything but this time, well, I was just happy the way I always wanted to. It lasted 24h xd Then came the shift to fear, anxiety, and panic. Well... I don't recommend that xd It's like realizing the state you've been in for a loooooong time but this time you have the comparison of happiness. It's been awful. And after a few dreadful months I finally get the first laughs. What am I trying to say? Oh, I know. If you "can't wake up" then maybe it's also a gift. Maybe it will be much easier if you start with taking care of yourself, being kind to yourself, following your heart and hugging people. Not to wake up, just to be happy. I wish you all the best.

Oh oh Angelo is becoming a Guru. Look at that impressive beard. Dang 😮

I'm on this journey too. To Angelo's always excellent guidance, I'd like to add one more practice that really helps propel me forward: Be sure to recognize even the tiniest bit of progress and take a moment to feel gratitude for it. E.g., "I'm more patient with my partner than I was a year ago." Or, "When I'm caught up in a thought stream, I'm catching myself earlier these days." Or, "Instead of yelling at my kid today for something that used to trigger me, I caught myself and focused on breathing and listening." Or whatever. Take some time to let the gratitude for your progress truly sink in. It's possible to do so without letting egoic pride take over. Getting stuck in frustration that you haven't yet "awakened" is just another way of energizing the perceived "lack" in your life. As Angelo says, notice the thought, feel the feelings that arise with it, and let the whole energy system move on through you. Say to yourself, "Oh, that's just another thought of the 'I need XYZ to make me happy' variety." (I've found that thoughts nearly always fall into one of five or six categories.) Then go back to finding reasons for gratitude. I wish everyone well.

This lands beautifully here. Thank you. Recognizing I've heard all this before in bits and pieces but all together so directly feels like finally looking past the pointing finger and seeing the moon. An abundance of Gratitude 🎉❤🤗🙏

I have found that waking up is like inhalation and exhalation. If you have been on this quest, you have awoken in a split second, and you know it, but we forget the next moment. Then we say I am not awake. You must come from the conviction ( as Ramana Maharshi states) that you Are Awake. Don't look up to that state. Look down from that state. It may seem like a false excercise, but it's not. You just stop averring: I am not awake ,which creates that experience. As all the great teachers claim: You are already Awake. Be that!

For me what helped to get past frustration is to literally just give up. I realized that my frustration literally just didn’t get me anywhere so I gave up on the concept of awakening that really helped me

Hello Angelo, I know you do not specifically focus on the energetics aspect of awakening but many experience Kundalini and are lost... It is a process with its evolution curve and pitfalls and I'm thinking it would be nice to share your understanding of it and how to go about it for it to lead to full awakening. Thank you for your help 😊

Would be great if you could do a similar video for people stuck post awakening. I’m doing your online retreat next week!

Right on time. ❤ Thank you 🙏 You’re so committed to helping. It’s beautiful to see.

As long as you don't define who you are.

Koans like "Mu" don't work for me because I can't allow myself to ponder something that I know is a trick. Conceptually I know that the question "What is Mu?" has no logical answer and it just an attempt to trick the mind - so I can't take it seriously.

Angelo! This is so clear, thank you so much ❤

Thank you! I think this will be helpful. I seem to be stuck in a thought pattern of "I can't do this. This isn't for me. Awakening will never happen for someone like me." Etc. But I can see that's just a story. I've been recognizing a lot of my habitual patterns, and what I consider to be my self are just stories. But aside from a few powerful glimpses, that recognition remains intellectual.

The very first video i watched on your channel made me become aware of self narrative thoughts. I immediately ordered your book and it helps a lot. Thank you.

💙🙏 So small is this blue heart, so small are these hands, so immense is my gratitude 😔

looking forward to your online retreat next week. It will be the second time and the first was awesome. Thanks for your great work Angelo 🙏❤️

Love the editing in the video today! And such good advice in this one. I especially want to echo the value of retreats.

No one will study themselves into awakening. And the wrong books, or simply too many books piles on noise. What we mostly need are the predispositions at birth and a huge amount of experience in life and suffering. Much needs to align and most of it is out of our control. Seek, but don't try to skip the life experience and suffering required with academic input. Gathering experiences and growing awareness without the expectation of results are key imho.

So clear, Angelo, thank you! ❤Wonderful confirmation of how we can get so lost in that story! This was encountered on my own not long ago during inquiry, realized full awakening and shift of identity had occurred here years ago and was simply not recognized for a time because it didn’t seem the way I had been conditioned to believe it would appear, such as in Eckhart’s or Bryon Katie’s (or even Adya’s) experiences! (Of course not, it was specific to this body-mind construct but I didn’t know that at the time!) Went along doing retreats, reading, much deep emotional and shadow work over the years, mumbling about this lack of awakening when it had already occurred (my “life” had totally shifted but I had not recognized the core unfolding) and I was just doing the ensuing clean-up for a while. 😁. It was such a joy to acknowledge that yes, what I had been looking for was right here! Now I simply love the deepening and joy! I truly enjoyed hearing you express this so clearly, I experienced much of this at one point or another over many years as I fumbled around and I know this will help so many others who are stuck in that! Looking forward to retreat with you next week and in Boone in December! ❤

God is in Control! You will awake when God awakens you. Until then Just Be! 😊❤

I first felt the stirrings of, There's something more here than meets the eye, in the early '70s. I was 16 and found some books on eastern mysticism and yoga. Bells went off in my head. I KNEW this was my path. 50 years, and MANY teachers, gurus, retreats and journeys later, I am still on the path. Do I feel I am enlightened or awakened? No. Do I have a choice to continue in this way? No. This is just what is set out for me to do. I have let go into the fact that Grace will guide the way and I don't have to push or seek. I relax and let go.

I got tears on my face at the end of this video…it’s a clear sign Thank you❤

In my understanding and experience, I think it's about facing or watching your inner world, learning to except and letting go. It's a constant effort not just during meditation, but throughout the day. Techniques like breathing exercises, or something that calms the mind and grounds you so that you can observe yourself really helps. This is different from self improvement which is ego driven, more like untangling or unfolding.

In my opinion, to be awake means being aware of what is happening and seeing things and events for what they are. It is not appearing suddenly in a fantasy world with unicorns and angels and start glowing like a bulb. It means understanding.

I think it's because you told about the letting go of the densities of the body and what a relieve this was ...this makes me believe I'm not there yet .. Thank you 💎

Waking up opens "powers" that if you don't understand and have prepped for (that means getting your shit together, emotional traumas, addictions, mental blocks, forgiveness, etc) could bring on a complete nervous breakdown or psychosis. I've gone through ten years of hell after my kundalini experience. First I didn't find it pleasant. It was a terrifying experience. The bliss overwhelmed me and was so intense that I started screaming. Then my new "powers" made me feel crazy, and alienated most of my friends and family. The power to manifest is much stronger after waking up. I still had PTSD and a really tough childhood to overcome. So every self doubt and negative belief I held became even more true and more difficult to face and overcome. TEN YEARS OF HELL. Be careful what you wish for, you will get it! I'm good now. I'm better able to direct my thoughts and I'm letting go of "beliefs" and living in the now a lot more often. I found peace boring at first but now I love it.

anybody who's struggling with this: I wish you the greatest success in your search. you can do it

Thank you for this! Needed to hear this right now.🙏

"You cannot wake yourself. Yet you can let yourself be wakened"

Thank you for this, need to do this

Is there a list of people you’d recommend as a teacher or coach in dual awareness?? Everyone I know is too busy and are not taking students. Part of the concern is not being sure who really knows how to do this but claim they do. Referrals are helpful. And agree- psychedelics can pry open the door.

yeah, sometimes it's just better to stay in the driveway. have you been on the highways lately? driving around in your brand-new Mazda Awake is the dream, i.e., what you thought you needed. when in fact, what you need is to empty the vessel of drive-thru clutter; gooey paper towels, and the receipts from last winter's shopping list. the bits and bobbles of black Friday, the neighbor's borrowed rake, the chew toy that bruno didn't finish, a styrofoam ice chest with no lid, the half-empty windex bottle with no spray attachment, the flat tire repair kit that didn't work in below-zero conditions, and that funky smell that lingers when you get into lizzy. in other words, clean the car it's a brand new day. like my old zen teacher said, it's better to start clean and collect trash than to start with tin cords, iron wire, junk of life.* and then toss it on the highway for others to pick up. * duchamp, from the green box.

I can only dream of waking up. I watch videos on waking up and fantasise about it.

It just hit me why you are so sure it's possible for everyone! I don't know if we share the same experience of what we may call "awake," but it feels like the most obvious thing. I know that when I say it is obvious, the mind will look for the obvious thing that it is missing, but this is the exact thing to see! It is like, ahhhh, I can't tell you what it is, and it is nothing I say or you think. But it is everything everyone has been saying and thinking and what they are! And yet, anyone getting it is just a story. "I" getting it is a story, and so is "I." There is no one here anyway. I feel compassion or heart openness. Okay, now it's time to wrap up my workday, go see my family, and get something to eat.

I really needed to hear this, at times I THINK I have already had an awakening , just not how I had imagined the way it's supposed to happen.🙏💛 Lol you have given me more to think about! Retreats, Energy felicitator, and or Nature Teachers( mushrooms) This talk has helped me already. Blessing to you.

And yet we know each person is truely on their own awakening .... Nothing Can Be Forced ........ or fast-tracked or piggy backed. Patience. Every moment you ARE awakening. Just the fact that you are aware of your awakening. We also know its in no way the same, or even similar from one person to the next.

I’ve always felt a disconnect/I’m missing something when you say ‘when you have that shift you’ll know it’ and ‘how do to know you’re not awake?’ Are we differentiating between ‘having had a shift’ and ‘awake’? Cause I think the person is trying to say ‘I haven’t had a shift.’ In which case I’m not clear how you can say ‘you’ll know when you’ve had a shift’ and ‘how do you know you haven’t?’ I’m currently taking it as a pointer - which are often paradoxical - but I don’t feel like you’ve presented it that way. I’m feeling like it’s an unacknowledged contradiction which would be better to be acknowledged or I feel like I’m getting something twisted. Not that I’m not seeing the crucial value in that line of questioning- -

I'm kinda new to this but I see that everything goes back to trust and allowing. Everybody is talking about allowing feelings to be; to me, this word is still confusing. Does this person have the will to allow/resist ? Am really missing the feminine aspect of the way to truth

It was my impression that it's not the person that awakens. I have had various awakenings, direct experiences, but I didn't recognize it at first, and it didn't solve all my emotional problems, although it did provide some relief. I'm not an expert on all the terminology or various schools or anything, but what my experience has been is that yes, I have had direct experiences, but then I came back down into the body/mind. The body/mind has its psyche and its various emotional issues and just the general experience of suffering. Having a direct experience beyond the body/mind is not the same as helping the body/mind to feel better. Right?

My ego says I'm not awake because I am still driven to seek. So stop seeking?... Simple, but not easy. I am on the path and trying not to seek, which starts to feel very paradoxical. My tactic is to do as I have heard inside and out, "trust the process". I'm so grateful to be aware of the path. That gives me strength to continue on.

Awakening is not always the mystical experience people assume it to be. It is merely the act of allowing yourself to utilize certain abilities you've always had in order to become aware of your reality and the crushing obstacles that threaten that reality. Fix the problems or perish. It is natural evolution testing your abilities to conquer self induced suffering. It's kind of a shit deal sometimes, but it is what it is.

Thanks for lighting the ‘me’ on fire Angelo 🔥 So interesting to see the concepts that were so strongly held, crumble to nothing and have no charge to them and to ‘see’ a bit more what’s happening there. Wow 🤣

The fact is YOU cannot wake up. Awakening is letting go of YOU, your ego identity, your sense of a separate individual self. Gentle meditation, allowing each thought to pass, as it arises and liv8ng a simple daily life, may help. You also need a good teacher.

Thank You Angelo - Love You Man ☺❤☺

Paul Selig's books are very helpful... he channels the Melchizedek priesthood.... he's the real thing. Ive listened to many of his interviews... he's made a huge dent in my spiritual journey of 30 plus years. When the student is ready the teacher will come. ❤❤🎉🎉

Thank you for this. A followup question is for people who have been on the path for years, and have had many direct experiences, but no stabilization. My friend is a teacher who has, for the last 40+ years, dedicated his life to teaching self inquiry and holds retreats where many many people have direct experiences. I know because I'm one of them and I've witnessed many others. He is in his mid 70s now and resigning himself that he probably won't go any further in his journey in this lifetime. He has loved and cared for so many of us, and if anyone 'deserves' it, he does. Do you have any pointers for him?

Thank you for this, how/where do I find someone liberated that I can have 1:1 with?

We are the illusion, we are awareness of the infinite.

This video is very helpful for me . Thank you.

No thought could hold the answer. You would have found it by now.

Thank you Angelo! I’m grateful to have you in my life 🙏

I am a fully awakened Soul, having completed 30 agonizing years of this process. Authentic awakening does not come because one wills it or wants it. It comes when one is ready. It comes when one has developed a sufficiently strong ego that can endure the intense rigors and challenges of the process. Don't worry...awakening will come but you don't control it. Don't try to force it prematurely...you will deeply regret it. Get on a path of self healing and self development and awakening will come on its own. Peace.

Awake... It's my turn!!!

One thing that helped here was to understand that there is no one to awaken, the ego is not becoming something else, it is by diminishing the ego that awakening happens because it's already there. There is no need to do anything. It's actually funny how simple it is.

Thanks for this!

This video is so good. Great aesthetics and great message! I also found that an online meditation course was extremely transformative for me. I would shake with nervousness during the group chats and such, I had so much anxiety back then. It was uncomfortable, but I was willing to give it an honest shot. We did a whole bunch of different techniques, and there was discomfort with many of them, but just committing to it and seeing it through really paid off.

Thank you, Angelo! Re retreats- wanted to share that Lisa Cairns has a retreat coming in October in the south of Spain.

Here's some code to explain: private void life() { Self i = null; while(true) { if(isAwareThatIsAware(()) { i = null; } else { i = createIdentity(i); i.generateSuffering(); } } }

Again, so well done, thank you. I was wondering if you could do a similar video as this on embodiment and awakening. Where my "thinking" often gets caught is in this felt sense of a "me" even after clearly not finding a person or a me. I have a spinal injury and fibromyalgia and it seems so difficult to not feel the physical pain and other sensations are happening to a me. Even using TREnand other exercises just trying to allow whatever arises to be without a label, etc. So grateful for your ongoing commitment. ❤

isn't it all ultimately about letting go of the need to judge and accepting everything as it is in the NOW

The idea of "awakening" is annoyingly paradoxical, but then "I" ask "myself" who is annoyed?

Thank you so much angelo, I this video was so clear that I just realized that I'm not the body or the mind

I'm delighted you're addressing this Angelo as it describes my situation well. I can tick the boxes for the recommendations you suggest. How can I determine whether I've awoken already? I've certainly had more than glimpses but may well be looking for something based on what I've heard or read about awakening....

You must have your heart open to awaken, then you work thru your issues and keep opening your heart over and over

Angelo suggest finding a non dual therapist, any recommandation on this? Or maybe he is doing it himself?

Real talk.

any suggestions on non-duality teachers for private sessions? thanks in advance

🙏

Thank you for bringing even scientifically backed beliefs into the fold of all that needs to be challenged. Those beliefs usually get a free pass.

I remember so clearly being in that place where I couldn't even see the thoughts. I think maybe body scans and counting breaths really helped? It was like looking at something else made me realise that there's something else to pay attention to.

18:10 bros calling out my insecurities 😂

The hardest path to self realization, certainly from my experience... is coming from a loving, Christian family... Know thyself 🎸🇨🇦🤪❤

For those with a literary inclination, do you believe it’s possible to achieve awakening through the contemplation of book passages? Perhaps dedicating half an hour to quietly reflect on sentences like "form is emptiness and the very emptiness is form," "The Lord's Prayer," or even lines from your own writing. If this is feasible, how could one enhance this practice, deeply internalize such passages, and uncover the profound insights they hold? Thanks a bunch.

Samadhi finds you. You do not find it. KARMA must be cleared to have it appear..... love and light to all that read this. Just BE in a state of "IS".

6:45

I currently have the reverse problem where it all feels so quick and I sometimes find it hard to stay grounded.

I woke up once everything popped I felt connected to ants trees I didn’t want to litter I felt free and like I was walking on clouds and than I fell back to old patterns and havnt gotten back since

Forgiveness.

An unthinkable thought. 🤔I need to think harder. In all seriousness... I experience synchronistic telepathy pretty much daily. I cannot fathom how people can be unaware of our connected mind. It takes a willful blindness... I don't know what "awakening" means though. I've had the mystical experiences, I've done the crying, I've been in the presence of God... I cannot escape thought.

The thing is I think I been awake for a long time , struggling to move on from here

I'm not fully awakened so this is just a suspicion, but I think trauma is the main thing holding many people back from making any progress towards awakening. Some people would even argue that the ego itself is created from the trauma of having to survive in the world. If you don't heal at least a good chunk of the deepest darkest part of yourself (not necessarily all of it), you will continue to cling onto or runaway from particular aspects of your identity, making it much harder to move beyond the mind or the sphere of sensation, because doing so would feel like suicide. You can't move beyond the illusion of a separate self if you are clinging onto it for dear life. I think this is why a lot of traditions focus on generating love and happiness. When you are happy or content for whatever brief moment, you don't want the present moment to be any different than what it is. In fact you may stop wanting altogether. This is ideal for awakening I think. Inner peace seems to loosen our grip on identity and the narratives it weaves.

Giving up trying was hard for me and resistance. Just rest outside of resistance and let it be. Awakening is step one, then you return and real work began for me, and then giving up trying. Ugh, that was tough as it draws you away from center. Thinking i have to travel through center to nirvana. Yet that takes you away from center. Headless way can be helpful. And follow inquiry who are you beyong i am this or that yet not follow it. That took a long time to realize.

I got a lot out of Halfway Up the Mountain, Marianna Caplan. Here’s the thing. Don’t assume this is a smorgasbord. Choose a path, a community and a teacher. Buckle up. Do the work-but do it in accountability.

5 years ago I woke up ego death laughed cried every word was Buddha. The next day it was gone. When’s your next book coming out?

Yes, simply put, the ‘you’ or ‘me’ or ‘I’ that people identify with is not ‘who’ or what they/we are. The personal identity is the problem.

Hey Angelo, just wanted to tell you…For almost 2 years your book has felt overwhelming to me… idk I couldn’t stay with it. I’m a reader!! And this is my stuff but I couldn’t. Now it’s alive and exciting. Still brings me to my internal knees somehow, still feels incomprehensibly big (inadequate words!) But it’s alive. Just thank you and 😮 🙏🏻 “The more we let go of what we think we want, the more we have access to what we really want.”

Ooo. Hot topic apparently!

I needed this. I didn't understand it all but I am glad because I believe I have relied too much on learning but not KNOWING (experiencing). I have let go of concepts and am surrendering to experience. Whatever that "means". haha. I think ultimately people are looking for "proof" that they are awakening and it doesn't work like that. The mind wants to "do it" but it can't. It is organic and happens in its own "time" and way. Mostly, I figure if I am still here physically, I'm awakening. And just trust that.

Maybe dmt?

If I finally realize i have awakened, this thought tells me I have not!

Hello, where can I find a one to one facilitator? Thanks

I can think of 10000 things more interesting than a retreat. Jump out of an aeroplane, learn how to fish, grow a garden, learn a weird dance style, immerse yourself in a foreign culture where you don't understand a word, act in a play, do a painting ,fall in love, wag work, quit your job, tell someone to go eff themselves. LIVE! WAKE UP!!! Gurus have nothing but snake oil for the desperate.

I'm afraid if I don't actively put attention in thought I will just zone out and lose myself into aimlessness and more thought... i guess.

Angelo - since the project of awakening is all about not holding onto any beliefs, do you think self hypnosis would be helpful here? Just learn how to hypnotize myself to not believe I’m a human being moving through time. Sounds too simple?

How to Awaken instructions: Before you read on, please drop all preassumptions you may have concerning awakening and spirituality in general. Forget that you ever practiced meditation, read books on spirituality, or received spiritual teachings. Have a totally open mind, so that you may start fresh and without baggage. This is essential. Steps of the Two-Part Formula: First, sit down and relax thoroughly. Take a comfortable seat with eyes open or closed. Then, scan through your body with attention and release tensions from anywhere you notice them. Scanning the body means that you look, feel, and listen into the body space as if using a flashlight in a dark room. When a particular tension is found and is allowed to release, pay close attention to what is found in the area of the released tension. Look closely. What you find is mere open space. After you notice this, move on to the next tension, release it, and again notice the open space in the place of the former tension. After you have done this for several minutes with focus and attention, what happens is that the individual spots of open space connect to each other, revealing a greater sense of open space. Notice and enjoy that spaciousness. Marinate in it for several minutes. This mode is called the "I-less mode" because there is no "me" or "you" in this space. As you experience the spaciousness, see if "me" or "I" can be found anywhere in it. Check whether "I" is there or not. Check left and right. Check front and back. Check up and down. Check the center as well. Can you find the sense of "me-ness" in this spacious mind? If you cannot find it, the recognition of the I-less mode is correct. If you are not sure, then do the exercise again and look with more sharpness. In this mode, when you listen to a sound or look at some external object in front of you, there is no "hearer" or "seer" but only "hearing" and "seeing". It is important to recognize this selfless mode well. It is not difficult, you just need to apply some attention and relax properly. Say to yourself: "I, I, I", "me, me, me" or "mine, mine, mine", out loud or silently. Say it with conviction, so that you mean it. Repeat the affirmation two or three times and then for a moment, wait for sensations to arise. How does it feel? Do you feel some tensions arising? Do you feel a sense of lack of freedom when you reinforce the I-though? How does the I-thought feel? You have consciously brought up the sense of "me-ness" and are now consciously experiencing how this sense of "me" feels. Perhaps for the first time in your life. The subject, "me", now becomes an object that can be observed and studied. Make a note of how "me-ness" feels in your body, in the chest and the head. Pick the strongest of the sensations and observe it more closely, like a scientist examining an organism under a microscope. Don't change anything, just observe with great interest and curiosity. Consciously look and feel the sensation and by simply experiencing it, make observations about it. What is the I-thought? Does it have a shape? What's the size of it? Where is it located? Is this experience of me-ness the truth of you? Is it the real you or not? Look carefully and make observations. After some time, the I-sensations disappear. If at that point you still feel calm and not agitated you can do another set of affirmations. If, on the other hand, you feel a bit restless, look into that restlessness to find out what's causing it. When these sensations eventually subside the spaciousness again becomes revealed, and so you go back again to the first step. The idea is that you keep comparing the two modes until the sense of me-ness permanently wears out. At some point when the affirmation no longer sticks, and, no matter how intensely you say it, just echoes into empty space, awakening has likely taken place. At this point, you can feel a special kind of openness and elation, lightness and unobstructedness, as compared to before. When practicing the 2PF, it is best to sit down and process the two modes silently, one, two, or three times a day for 20-30 minutes per sitting. These sitting sessions are essential, along with processing during everyday activities. During activities, whatever they may be, simply make note of how the two modes alternate. Also, when we are around other people, the "I" can come up unexpectedly and strongly because we are used to reacting to other people from our sense of "I". Make use of these moments to look into the self or "I" with awareness. For more information search youtube for Two Part Formula Awakening

I had my awakening 7 years ago , i n😊ow live in the present moment with no thought . NO THOUGHT ALL THE TIME. I DONT THINK ABOUT THE PAST OR THE FUTURE ONLY THE PRESENT MOMENT.