Lyrics, for those asking: KOKO: As some day, it may happen that a victim must be found I've got a little list, I've got a little list Of society offenders who might well be underground And who never would be missed, they never would be missed! There's the people who, in public places, have to take that call And speak so loudly that it can be heard by one and all. The TikTok would-be singers who invariably sing flat, The Facebook friend who's always posting photos of his cat, And all third-persons who on joining WhatsApp groups insist, They'd none of them be missed, they'd none of them be missed. CHORUS: He's got them on the list, he's got them on the list, and they'll none of them be missed. They'd none of them be missed! KOKO: That fellow in the Kremlin who invaded the Ukraine, the mad expansionist, I've Putin on the list And any other leaders who are equally insane, They never would be missed, they never would be missed! And all the water companies who think it quite legit, to fill our seas and rivers with a constant flow of - And hipsters who eat trendy food like avocado toast, And quinoa too, I can't decide which one I hate the most! And temporary traffic lights that [inaudible] (bar?) the motorist, I don't think they'd be missed, I'm sure they'd not be missed. [CHORUS] KOKO: The idiots who tried to tell us COVID was a hoax, Conspiracy theorists, I've got them on the list The RU-vid influencers, and all those sort of blokes; They'd none of them be missed, they'd none of them be missed! The billionaires with fortunes who could help the human race, instead smoke weed, buy super-yachts, or prat about in space. And Prime Ministers, who come and go, while all our troubles stack, I think it's Rishi Sunak now, but I'm simply losing track! But it really doesn't matter who you put upon the list, for they'd none of them be missed, they'd none of them be missed! CHORUS: You may put them on the list, you may put them on the list, and they'll none of them be missed, they'll none of them be missed!
Putin, covid? Modern politics? C'mon now. The original purposely stated away from naming names in the political bit for a reason; it's far, far more evergreen. Besides, political theatre is boring. But on top of that, the only theatre more boring than plays that criticize the government are those that support it. This just further highlights how theatre in the west profoundly misunderstands its own role. By supporting government policy the entire industry let itself be called non-essential, didn't push back, and destroyed itself during covid for no reason because the policy was 100% wrong. You're supposed to be a sop to the soul, an escape, and a deep expression of the human soul. There's more to life than just being physically alive. That's where "the show must go on" comes from. People paid, deserve, and even need that entertainment. What's more essential than the non-essential? Stay out of modern politics, theatre! It ages like milk, and being a sop to power is incredibly sniveling and lame.
