Hi Chandler I am the result of my mom's egg and donor sperm! My sister also does not have the same donor sperm as I do. Personally, my parents using donor sperm has honestly only made me closer to my dad. I cherish him so much and knowing that I am not technically biologically related to him but feeling biologically related to him is honestly a really beautiful thing. The idea that my sister is my half-sister is also like not even relevant to me. I barely even think about how we were made with different biological sperm. My dad wrote me this letter before I was born where he reflected on how he was sad that he couldn't give his biology to me, that he couldn't give me everything I may have wanted, but also how I came out more perfect than he could ever imagine. This letter I will cherish forever because it is evidence of how hard my parents tried and their neverending well of love for me. Anyways I hope I can provide a little insight into being the actual child (I'm still only 19 now) of a sperm donor and my mom's sperm. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable
This comment is amazing. My husband and I used donor sperm and my eggs, and we are very open with our daughter about where she was from and how deeply, completely, fervently she is loved and exactly who she was always meant to be. Reading your story makes me so so happy, this is exactly what we hope our daughter grows up and feels/knows. Thank you for sharing this!
My situation is a little different, but my step father is the only paternal figure I've ever had. My biological father passed when I was young, but even if he had lived, based on his character, he wouldn't have been in my life much as he hadn't been around for my teenaged siblings. It is the same for my older brother. Our step dad has been his only paternal figure. Biology is just that: biology. A blood relation to a parent does not mean they will be a mother or a father. It is the intention, consistency, and dedication that makes a parent. I share no blood with my step dad but he is the only father I've ever had and ever will have. I am who I am today in part bc of him.
Is the letter a lie cause you said your dad said he wrote that *_before_* you were born……… but that he wrote _”you came out more perfect than he could’ve imagined”_ 😩
Pregnancy is the most terrifying experience. No matter how much we talk enough about the reality of pregnancy and childbirth, you truly just can’t fathom what the experience will be like until it’s you. You are so strong, Chandler. It cannot be overstated how resilient you are.
This is why i decided not to have kids cuz I knew somehow it’s not healthy for a woman’s body and destroys it to become pregnant and give birth . Didn’t have a supportive family either so I did not want to do it alone . Sad but this is how it is . I will have cat kids once I am able to finish massage school and get away from my entire family
@SirenASMR_ I totally respect your decision if you don't want to have kids. (It is really difficult. Not just the pregnancy and birth part.) But to say that pregnancy and birth "destroy a woman's body," is generally an exaggeration. I will be the first to admit that pregnancy (at least late pregnancy) was uncomfortable, labor was painful, and I was really scared when I was giving birth. Most women get through it okay, though, and recover within a few weeks. You may have some physical changes, but even in many cases those are minor, and barely visible, especially to anyone who's not paying super close attention. And, although pregnancy has a lot of immediate health risks it does have some long-term health benefits, as well. Women who've had children (and breastfed them, especially) have lower lifetime risks of breast and cervical cancer. Stem cells from the fetus sometimes move around the body and help repair injuries to the mother, etc. For women who might want to have a baby catastrophizing things as "Your body will be destroyed" is not very accurate and not helpful.
@@harringt100287,000 women died during/after pregnancy in the year 2020 alone. I almost died in 2017 when I had my daughter. I’m sure you mean well, but I don’t think this comment is helpful. You’re not going to “um, actually” someone who’s made their mind up into having children. The reality is that the maternal mortality rate is unacceptably high, even now. This person is allowed to feel how they feel without being lectured lol.
@kaylahaas Of course she's allowed to feel how she feels. Motherhood is not for everyone, and if you don't even have much family support I do not recommend it. It was never my intent to tell her to have children, and I explicitly stated that in the beginning. (I guess I used "you" to refer to a hypothetical person giving birth, which was a poor choice of words. Sorry. But if you think that was my goal, I'm afraid you really need to work on your reading comprehension.) And I don't know where you got the 287,000 figure from, but if that's worldwide, it's out of around 130 million births, so...that's statistically pretty rare. (Around 0.2%, and honestly, the majority would probably be in developing countries. The maternal mortality rate in the U.S. is around 1/10th of that.) I am sorry to read you had a near-death experience, but it makes no sense to pretend every pregnant woman reading this will. (People besides either of you I replied to may see these comments. Many women want to or are about to have children, and telling them they're likely to die doing it is neither accurate nor helpful to _them._ )
As a childfree adult I feel I have no real place to say anything except for how proud I am of you and how strong you have been on this whole journey. I wish nothing but the best outcomes from here on out for you and your family 💗💗💗
I was tearing up through this entire thing, but “I hate that this is my reality” is where I really lost it. As someone in the beginning stages of the infertility process, it’s one of the things I think the most, and isn’t something I really ever hear people talk about or say. Sending you all the healing vibes.
You are such a champion for overcoming everything you've been hit with. As a queer woman who knows IVF is in her future, I really appreciate you sharing your journey. I'm hoping for the best for you and Hayden!!
My parents had similar infertility issues and ultimately adopted myself and my sister. IVF was too expensive and not as successful in the 80s, and adoption was a lot more accessible. Definitely hard for both of them to work through, but they were amazing parents and I'm so thankful for them. My own experience with pregnancy loss happened two years ago. I was 30 weeks and developed eclampsia and lost him. Losing a pregnancy is so hard regardless of how far along you are, and everyone grieves that differently. As long as you remember to be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve at your own pace, there's no wrong way to deal with loss. I truly thought I would never have a child after we lost our son, but two years later I'm sitting here with my perfect baby in my lap. The universe makes all things right in it's own time.
Why is adoption less accessible now than in the 80s? ETA: I'm really sorry for your loss. I know even early miscarriages can be tough on people, but it must be really awful to get into the home stretch and then have to give birth to a dead baby.
As someone who has walked the infertility road, I am grieving with and for you. Our stories are different in many ways but the feeling of what if is the same. My third miscarriage was also a missed miscarriage - my protocol had me continuing progesterone until 12 weeks and I had an ultrasound at 11w5d where we discovered our baby had died appx 2 weeks before. I was so hopeful because I was literally two days away from stopping the progesterone. I ended up having a d&c as well in that case and as someone who has experienced both miscarrying naturally ( in the middle of a work day no less) and a d&c - totally agree that d&c is preferable and I feel terribly for those who don’t have access to one. All that to say, we have two children now who have made it all worth it and you will have yours someday too. You and Haden are so strong and will be such amazing parents. It’s the shittiest garbage to have to go through but I believe it has made me a better, more empathetic person and has made my husband and I even better as a team (also hs sweethearts - 15 years in, 7 yrs married) - I know it will be the same for you. Do you. Enjoy the things you love, eat the cookies, soak in those kitty boys, and know so many people are in your corner (even virtually 😂❤).
thank you for this. you’re spot on about the empathy. this whole process has changed me for the better. and i’m so glad you have your babies. it will be me too one day ❤️
Hi Chandler, I've been a silent viewer for years now but I feel like I have to let you know how much I appreciate you sharing your story. I was also pregnant last month and now I'm not and I felt like nobody truly understood my grief. Watching this now, I relate to so many of the feelings you're sharing. Everyday since I have wished that I was still pregnant, but at the same time I know I'm not yet ready to try again. This time has shown me how important it is to have a partner you love and trust absolutely to lean on. I would not have been able to get through this time without my husband. I'm so glad you have Haden and I know you were both meant to be parents. When you get your rainbow, just know that this stranger on the internet is going to be so incredibly happy for you.
@@lalunanova1I was also pregnant with twins until 2/03/24 when my water broke at 23 weeks and one of my girls was born still and her twin sister passed away after spending 5 days in the NICU. It is the most heart breaking event to happen to anyone and I don't think I will ever be the same😢😢. I am so sorry for your loss ladies.
I’m not really a hugger…but I wish I could hug you…I’ve experienced secondary infertility…only attempted clomid because our insurance didn’t cover anything else. Was thrilled to get pregnant. Made it to 12 weeks, even saw the heartbeat…but our levels started to slowly decrease. In the end, I had a d&c…I miss that baby…I stopped treatment and 5 years later, got pregnant with my rainbow baby. They’re 22 now. I have no doubt that however your children come to y’all, they will be the luckiest lil baby EVER! 💜💜💜
Chandler I am so sad to hear this. It's been such an uphill battle for you, this is heart breaking. I hope you have some people around who can support you in what ever way you need right now.
You’re so strong Chandler. I am childfree by choice and I cannot IMAGINE the emotional turmoil both you and Hayden are going through. I am so sorry for your loss, your rainbow baby will come when the time is right. Let Hayden know we all care for him too
You must be super strong and incredible (admit it, continuing on 8 times is incredible). Whatever u choose going forwards is valid. I've always been in favor of adoption, but I know that can be really expensive and complicated. Most importantly, miscarrying doesn't say anything about you as a person, it's not your fault. Sending you love and support❤❤
it's so sad that you had to say in the beginning that 'please don't judge'. i don't even know nor want to know what kind of people would judge someone for these choices you made, i see nothing controversial, just a person researching and deciding what's best for them. you made the choice you needed to make, and it is all valid. in university, i had a course on IVF, and we had to write an essay so we could get grades. i chose to write about the ethical and moral dilemmas surrounding this topic, and let me tell you, i am of the firm belief that in these sensitive matters really really all choices are valid you make for yourself after careful consideration. it's really good to see how you do your research and think about the possibilities this deep. i really hope that you will achieve your goal! it is HUGE that you could get pregnant, i'm sure it will happen again! and always hope, it is an enormous boost! hope and 'happiness hormones' can raise your chances by a lot! best wishes 🧡
I am so sorry for your and Haden's loss. Grief and invisible grief (grieving the possibility of something) are so hard and frankly not talked about enough. Thank you for sharing your journey with us
Honestly this woman is so strong and amazing , honestly any women going through this shit is amazing and strong and incredible I just adore this woman xx
I'm so sorry Chandler. The roller coaster of emotions you have been on is something few people can imagine. I appreciate you talking about trying to get back into life after this process. I went back to work 4 days after a D&E at 19 weeks. Was it the best thing for me? Probably not, but I couldn't imagine just laying in bed wondering what it could've been like. I think trying to move forward and figure out next steps is 100% a way to cope and for our brains to make sense of the trauma. I know you have people in your life and a strong support system, but my DMs are always open if you need
Chandler, I’m so proud of you. So endlessly proud of you and your resilience. You went through hell and high water. Absolutely incredible and selfless. I hope you and your husband are taking care of yourselves. Sending love your way 🤍
I had a missed miscarriage at 8.5 weeks, and one of the hardest parts for me is mourning that I won't have a baby this year. I was also going to have a newborn on my birthday, and it felt so right. I'm so sorry for your loss, you're so strong. Be kind to yourself when you start this process back up, I know it's different with IVF, but it just brings back up a lot of feelings. I'm only 2 months past mine, but sending you love for your future ❤
I had a miscarriage technically at 17 weeks which is pretty close to a still birth. The baby was supposed to be born near my birthday which is quickly approaching. It makes it more difficult somehow and selfishly I feel my birthday is ruined.
This video couldn't have come at a better time. In a string of several dark days and feeling completely isolated and alone in this journey, your openness and honesty was amazing to hear. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️
chandler, you are an absolute gem. thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experience(s), i know it will impact and help many. hugs to you and Hayden. ❤🫂
Love you sis!!! Thank you for sharing your story. Going in for an early ultrasound tomorrow to make sure my pregnancy isn’t ectopic. You’ve helped me feel at ease for what’s to come, reminding me that I can and will heal no matter the outcome. You’re a queen!!
Hi. I stumbled across this video in my suggested feed. I have endometriosis, PCOS, pelvic floor dysfunction, fibro and and whole other bunch of issues. I was told from the time I was 14 that I would never get pregnant naturally, and if I were to get pregnant with medical intervention, I may not carry the pregnancy and definitely not to term. We’ll fast forward, I got pregnant at 24, and had my baby boy at 25, actually overdue lol. Then we found out that we were pregnant again in august, this last year, and we were very excited for our son to be a big brother. We had went in for an ultrasound at the end of October, and the heartbeat was so strong and babe was just a little jumping bean. Then we had set up a gender ultrasound at a private boutique because I couldn’t wait to find out, and luckily we didn’t wait. The anticipation and excitement was immense that day. I had been in the er the day before with influenza a, so I was very sick to begin with but we were doing the ultrasound. We get called back, and the tech, who did our ultrasound for George, she held the wand to my belly and I saw just for a second, and I knew…. I looked at my fiancé, who was grinning and he said what am I looking at, I instantly started bawling, and the tech said I need to give your doctors a call, and then that’s when he knew. She went and called, and then she came back in and said that the office would give us a call. I was 18 weeks and 2 days, but our baby had passed away at 14 weeks, just a couple days after we had last seen them and heard the heartbeat. We had a scheduled D&C that Monday and they sent the baby to pathology and to the geneticist because I wanted to know what they were, I needed to name that baby. We found out that there was nothing genetically wrong with the baby, which made it really hard for me because had they had the whole pregnancy, we’d have another healthy child. It was a malformation of the placenta. The genetic report came back and we had a little girl, and her name is Nora Ann, and her c-section date was the 8th and her due date is actually today. Hang in there mama, you’ll get your baby… we’re here for you love ❤️❤️
You've got me crying at work. I know you said you love RU-vid and being able to have this outlet, but I want to say thank you. Thanks for letting us into your life and giving me a new perspective on things that I don't know that much about in my current stage of life.
Im RH- so I've had 6 miscarriages.... and 2 daughters who are 18 and 10 ❤ 97% of women have had at least 1 miscarriage. Many don't even know they've had one they just think they had a late heavy period.... miscarriages are more common than pregnancy honestly and yet we act like it never happens.
Be sure to get the Rhogam after each loss too! I’m Rh- as well. 1 miscarriage but 9 children…however my miscarriage was my 3 rd pregnancy, and I didn’t know to get the shot after a loss too. It’s an easy oversight by doctors.
I am so insanely sorry for your loss. Your resilience though is out of this world and is a true testament to the kind of absolute baddie of a mother you’re going to be in the future ❤
I’m so unbelievably sorry, sending you guys so much love❤️ I had a pregnancy loss late last year after undergoing fertility treatments, it’s the most emotionally grueling thing I’ve ever gone through. I’m so glad you’re taking care of yourself.
As an OR nurse, D&C cases, ectopic pregnancies etc are some of the most emotionally raw experiences I have ever witnessed 💔 thank you for sharing your story
I’m so sorry for your loss 😢 I had an MMC earlier this year and I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. My baby stopped growing at 7 weeks and I didn’t find out until 13 weeks so I completely understand the terrible feeling of finding out your baby has been there but not and not even knowing it. I opted for medical management because I could start it right away rather than waiting for a D&C and spending longer knowing my baby was dead inside of me, but if I could have had surgery the day I found out, I would have. I’ve been having counselling and my counsellor ends every session by saying “take care of yourself” and she always emphasises the word care. So, take *care* of yourself xxx
I recently started following you for book content, and now stumbled across this video. Thank you for speaking up. As someone who has been through the same things, multiple times, I love to hear others sharing their voice. It's sad and devastating, and it hurts, but it's not shameful, and actually should be more normalized in my opinion. People need to understand it's not okay to set expectations and question women about when they will be adding to their family, etc.
I am so sorry to you and Haden both :( there are just no words. Sending you both love and healing energy 🤍 you both deserve the world and this is so heart breaking.
Jesus this fucking broke me a bit. I’ve followed chandler for years and honestly love and care for her and Hayden. But you are both so strong for going through all of this, you tried your damn hardest. You can honestly get through the toughest circumstances and make it through the other side. Wow. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. You and Hayden will be parents and have that beautiful family, whatever that looks like, you will make it work and it will be a different version of your dreams but that happiness will come. I’m not religious but I do believe that you will get this💗 love you Chandler x
I've been trying with my husband and we're getting to the point where we know something is wrong but aren't sure yet. Honestly, up until this point, I had never even considered what IVF might be like. It wasn't until you started sharing your experiences that I really understood what all went into it, and how much of an undertaking it is. It's just another silent thing that people go through all to try to have a baby. I totally relate to you saying its like staring at a barrel, it's so stressful.
i will say, and i think i say it in the video that i have no regrets about it. it’s emotionally trying but physically not as bad as i thought. hopefully you don’t have to go that route but if you do, you’ve got this. you’re right though, a lot of people are quiet about it. thankfully i never shut up :)
You are incredibly strong. As the mother of a donor baby(who is currently 11 weeks) and as somebody who had a miscarriage the cycle before her conception, please know that things get better. The sun will shine once again. Do what you love and try again as soon as you’re ready!! As long as you’re ready, that’s all that matters. I love the baby I lost, and I love the baby I created weeks later. You are going to be a beautiful mother and Haden is going to be a wonderful father. 🌈
I am so so sorry for your loss, Chandler. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us and being so open and vulnerable. It will help others so much and I hope it helps in your healing journey as well.
I only know your reading tastes and your name (which inspired us to name our daughter Chanler) but I just happened to stumble on this video. So this may mean nothing but you are so inspiring. My heart hurts for you but also swells with love for you ❤ you’re going to make an amazing mom. Sending all the love and virtual hugs.
Oh I'm so incredibly sorry to hear this. I also had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. My baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks 5 days. It was the hardest thing because you're excited about the ultrasound and then it ends up being so sad. I remember asking if I could just keep the baby inside and let it become a part of me (I know ... irrational but I was in that state). I ended up having a d&c as well. After having another ultrasound and going in to get my uterus back to being healthy again I eventually did IVF and have my 4.5 year old daughter now. I am ABSOLUTELY wishing the same experience for you. I hope you are patient with your heart through the grief of this loss. And I hope you have your beautiful rainbow baby. Sending you so much love.
I had 5 miscarriages before having my miracle baby and 10 months later I ended up getting pregnant again and by the grace of God I’m 19 weeks. What kept me going was hope and thinking positive. It’s amazing how resilient we as humans can be sometimes. I pray for you and your family. It’ll happen for you I just know it. Editing to add I actually did ivf as well and my first transfer didn’t work but my second did with a genetically normal embryo and I still miscarried and it was a grade B baby. My story is pretty crazy but I never once lost hope even when it seemed like I would never be a minx I just knew I would. All of that to say please don’t ever lose hope. It’ll happen.
I’m so sorry. I miscarried twin girls conceived with Letrozole after struggling with infertility. It’s been almost 5 months and it still hurts. There are no words that can take away the pain but I wish there was. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way.
My aunt went through two failed IVF treatment, one pregnancy loss before she had her son. She was living with us each time because they live in a remote area. She was devastated each time. My thoughts are with you, and I’m sorry for your loss. Don’t lose hope ❤ My aumt has two beautiful children now.
So proud of you. Your decision to share your story will be such a help to others and help you on your journey thru grief as well. Love you. Can’t wait to see you with your perfect little baby someday soon! Sending so much love!! 💕
Thank you for continuing to be so candid Chandler. I cannot imagine the spectrum of emotions you've both been going through; to articulate all this so succinctly and openly is incredible. As someone who may have to go through IVF in the future, I've learned so much and cannot thank you enough for sharing.
There is truly NOTHING like the fertility mindfuck that is always wondering if you missed just one med, if you should just try one more thing. I can’t wait until this is behind you and you have found resolution and added to your family. Sending lots of love 💜
Thank you for being so real! Thank you for showing that it is ok to be yourself and express your feelings. I always hide how I feel so others don’t judge. Your story has touched me. Not just because of your loss but how confident you are in just being yourself and embracing your feelings. Thank you for being so raw!!!!!
I’m so sorry. There are no words. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. You are not alone in this grief & heartbreak. We see you. We love you. We are with you.
My heart breaks hearing this… Thank you for always sharing your journey. The good and the bad! It educates those of us who haven’t been through something like this and how to care for those who have. Stay hopeful 🤍
I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I've followed your channel on and off in the last couple of years because of your book reviews and was surprised to hear you talking about your IVF experience. I've just finished my first cycle for unexplained infertility, fresh transfer failed and I'm preparing for a FET next. I feel your pain about your body betraying you and having to make peace with having to go through this. I can only say THANK YOU for talking about IVF, your loss, your choices and your experience so openly. I wish more people did.
I had a traumatic miscarriage and an emergency D&C to save my life and I appreciate you so much talking about your experience and making that decision. I wish I had gotten the D&C option right away so I could've avoided what I went through. You talking about this can help so many. I see you and I hear you. I hope you're healing okay and I'll be thinking of you.
By the end of this video, I just wanted to hug you tight. You're totally right in not caring about anyone else and doing you. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability in opening up about such a tiring and difficult journey. I have low fertility and don't want to have babies myself, but it's so brave on your part to share all this, to support other people and help them with your story. I'm grateful to be around to experience your channel because you're always making me happy and making me laugh, so I hope all the comments here, give you a bit of positivity too.
I’m praying for you (and everyone else in this comment section) - I hope peace, comfort, empathy, courage, support, and gentleness finds you. You are doing so much just by sharing your story.
My heart breaks for you chandler (and hayden). I wish you both healing and space for grief (with the many different kinds of loss you've experienced over the past few months). ❤
Thank you for sharing your story, I'm going through my own infertility journey and hearing someone else, even some internet stranger say all the things that I've been feeling makes me feel so seen. It touched my heart in an indescribable way
Thank you for being willing to share, I know you will help people by giving them this to relate to. I am proud of you, for whatever that means from an internet stranger who relates more than I ever wished to.
I have been through it and built up resilience same as you. That resilience has carried me through hard times in my life and allowed me to support others in a mindful and empathetic way. Thank you for sharing Chandler and I wish you and yours peace in the coming weeks.
I started watching you late last year so I've heard a lot about this journey for you and I'm sending you so so much love. You're so strong and I appreciate you being so open with your experiences. You absolutely got this. I wish you and your husband luck for anything you decide to do in the future.
So sorry you are dealing with all of this. I know it is crazy hard now, but this time will one day be behind you and a baby will be in your arms. I look forward to seeing that part of your story. You got this!
I just came across this video on my suggested feed. I lost my baby boy at 22 weeks on 1/31/24. He was our first baby. I had an emergency c section and it’s been a long recovery since then. I found out that I have an insufficient cervix so every pregnancy (if I plan to try again) will be high risk. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s been hard to talk about mine tbh but I feel encouraged to share it one day. Sending hugs ❤
Hi Nina, My sister in law lost 6 babies till I recommended she go on bed rest from 4.6 months on. She did, and she had her one and only son at 32 weeks. She only got up to use the restroom and Dr appointments. He was 2 lbs 14 ounces. He was in the hospital for about 7 weeks, and went home at 5 pounds. He’s now 37 years old at 5’ 10” 190 pounds. Bed rest and progesterone help. She also had a McDonald stitch…!
@@Valentina-Steinway thank you for sharing your sister in laws story! It’s an incredible story and miracle! She is a strong mama and I’m so glad she got her rainbow baby 🌈 yes lots of bed rest and I’ll need to get the stitch too. I pray one day I’ll have my rainbow baby as well💖
chandler, i am so so sorry for your loss and that you are going through this pain. experiencing miscarriage is truly so devastating and not talked about enough. i admire and respect not only your strength to make it through all of this but also being brave enough to share your story and journey. it will help others not feel as alone as i did when it happened to me, too. i hope you feel less alone by sharing and being surrounded by love & support. sending you all my love and healing in this grief. i got my rainbow baby, and i deeply hope for you to have yours too 🌈
Oh Chandler you are so stinking strong, I can’t fathom how difficult this whole process is. I’m crying for and with you, and sending you and your husband love. 💕
Hello! I'm sorry about everything that happened. This is one of my biggest fears. As someone who has been following you for a long time, I wanted to say that I admire all your strength. Thanks for sharing, you're amazing
Hey Chandler, I’ve been a watcher since quarantine days and just wanted to reach out and say I’m so sorry for your loss! I’m sending good vibes your ways 🤍🤍
It’s almost comforting hearing all of your emotions on this journey. I have dreamed of having children my whole life, and while I was with my ex we were not preventing for over a year and I didn’t get pregnant. And I have such fears around fertility and possibly ivf in my future… I hope so hard that this story ends well for you.
I so so appreciate you being so transparent with this. So many women go through this alone and only hear about the success stories. So much respect for you and your resilience. Sending so much love and hope to you and Haden ❤
This is so heartbreaking. I haven't gone through all of that, but I have had some of those procedures and it's a devastating process. Sending you so much love ❤
I’m so sorry for your loss and all of the struggle that goes with your journey. I appreciate your candid and honest account. I pray things work out for you in whatever way is best! ♥️♥️♥️
I am so grateful you made this video. My IVF journey has been long and includes donor eggs for my POF, and after our first embryo transfer I was pregnant and so so excited. Unfortunately our 7 week scan showed a slightly slower heartbeat and by week 8 there was no longer a heart beat. This video was so impactful for me and helped me decide on a d&c, which now I am on the other side of it was 1000% the right decision, so I just wanted to say an enormous thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experience. I know we will both have healthy babies in our arms in the future ❤
i so admire your strength and your attitude in the face of hardship. i've never had any kind of experience even similar to what you've been through but i was crying right along with you! sending so much love to you and haden ♥
I literally cried almost the whole video, because I have almost similar story, unknown reason for infertility, I've bled due to huge hematoma and i was hospitalized for bunch of time because of bleeding and lateer other difficulties my boy came premature. Honestly I feel so much your pain because I lived through all of that, but I was lucky to make to the end. I truly, truly wish you lucky and I hope next time will be your time .
I'm so sorry this happened to you! I had an MMC almost a year ago, to the date of your video release. Our pregnancy was a surprise, so I didn't have the same experience leading up to the pregnancy as you, but after that, almost everything about my experience was the same as yours. Had our pregnancy diagnosis ultrasound at 6 weeks, everything looked great. Went in ar 9 weeks, and ultrasound showed no heartbeat and baby had quit growing at 7 weeks - so I'd been carrying my deceased baby for almost 2 weeks, also. I felt the same as you, regarding chosing the d&c and I'm really glad I made that choice, for the same reasons as you. Just so you know, and you may be past this already, but they told me I should be able to ovulate and have a regular cycle the next month, but I didn't have a regular cycle for almost 6 months after my d&c. I thought I had missed my chance at a baby (I was 41) and since my mom went through perimenopause early, that's what was happening to me too. I did have one period in late September, I turned 42 on October 2, then no period shower in October. Turns out i was pregnant again! I was shocked and the excitement was overshadowed by fear. The first ultraound was terrifying. The second (when we'd found out our baby had passed last time) was even worse, but everything was normal. The entire first trimester was scary and I was afraid to let myself be excited. As time went on, and we got further along, i feared less, but knew I wouldn't believe it was finally real until I was holding my baby. Everything went fine until 35 weeks, when I had premature labor, but my son ended up being born (on his Daddy's birthday, June 1) very healthy and didn't need any medical assistance, despite being 5 weeks early! He truly is my miracle rainbow baby! Having a MMC, if I have more kids I don't think I'll ever be able to have the fully naive excitement of a pregnancy again, without being tainted by a little bit of fear of something going wrong again, but the fear and pain does lessen with time. Take your time to heal and grieve. Talk to someone if you need to. You'll never "get over it," but you can get through it! I'll be praying for you and wish you the very best and for a healthy pregnancy and baby for you! You're going to be a fantastic mother! Much love! ❤😊
My heart breaks for you both so much. I’m so sorry Chandler. Me & my husband recently started trying the past few months and no matter how prepared I thought I was I was not prepared for the complicated feelings that arise in trying. There is an odd bit of loneliness in it despite doing it with a loving partner. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now but I’m praying to whatever is out there that peace & every bit of happiness comes y’all’s way soon.
My feeling at the end here is a bit of joy.. you are getting so much experience. You are really building more and more strength. It is all good progress. Keep moving forward and keep pursuing your goal. What a good attitude you have. I am cheering for you!
Thank you for sharing all of this! You are not alone. I went through IVF due to my husband’s genetic condition. We had very low embryo counts that were genetically normal. Over 6 cycles, I only had three total embryos to transfer. Not sure which hurt more, not having any healthy embryos to transfer for 3 cycles or having transfers not be successful. First time didn’t succeed, second transfer gave me my healthy son, third transfer didn’t succeed. Now insurance doesn’t cover more cycles so our journey has come to an end. Of course I am grateful for my son, but there is always the feeling of mourning the family/life you envisioned. You are so strong 💜
I just listened to this podcast/story, and l wanted to say that no one could or should be judging you, and ld be horrified if anyone left a negative comment. Take care of YOU and thanks for sharing such a deeply personal experience. Sending you so much positive vibes and lots of love from Melbourne Australia.
Thank you for sharing, I just had a DNC two weeks ago. Same reasoning and all your feelings are SO valid and I feel very similarly. Sending you healing vibes on your journey. ❤
Sending you so much love!!! I don’t really have anything to add that hasn’t already been said - but I think it’s really important to talk about how people react. Some people when going through a horrible time, will just turn off their emotions and become logical - especially when talking about it. I’ve never been pregnant or been on a fertility journey but I’ve been through some really hard stuff and I know when I talk to people about it I often take out the emotion and talk very matter of fact - but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t extremely painful or that it doesn’t affect me. So I get this so much! No judgement. I also think it’s so incredible how brave you guys are being talking about this and also just going with a donor. I think there is a bit of a stigma about that, and there absolutely shouldn’t be! I hope you guys get your baby! 🤍🤍
Chandler, I’m so sorry for your loss. And thank you for your vulnerability. I found out I was pregnant early January (estimated about 5weeks) and we were so excited. Got an 7/8 week ultrasound to confirm and the technician said everything looks fabulous and there was a strong heartbeat from baby. She said she could see fluid around my cervix and said to expect spotting but to not worry. A week later I started spotting (dark) and was again told to not worry about that it was normal. Two days later the spotting turned bright & with clots. My doctors were great in that they were able to get me in the next day and were so caring but I literally miscarried during my appointment 😔 it was painful and traumatic but we were so grateful to be able to see baby and give it a burial on family land. I feel for you so much - I also have clothes and toys tucked away, as well as a full baby registry waiting for me. My period hasn’t returned yet and that is so frustrating but I know that medical intervention is out there for me and for you too. I’ll be praying for your healing & for all the future babies to come ❤
