Wow!! I feel this so intensely!! I’m 25 (AFAB) getting ready to go to law school, but I’m trying to get medicated for my ADHD and OCD, because sometimes it affects me so much I start crying and breaking down if something is out of line. I am always hyper aware of men that take interest in me because I know there are a lot of men who would love nothing more than to break down my ego/pride and use my emotional issues against me. NOPE!! That’s why I only trust people that would literally d!3 for me 😊
you’re so right!!! even though I cannot relate on the same exact level since I am a gay guy, I do relate somehow because I‘m dating other men. I would say that I don‘t really carry much toxic masculinity since my mom raised me to always show and explain my feelings no matter what. I was also taught to respect other people‘s boundaries. what I had to teach myself was that I shouldn‘t pretend to be someone I am not - this most likely has to do with me realizing I‘m not straight. at the end of the day, my upbringing and how my identity was shaped throughout the years and what I decided to be influenced by, are probably the reason why I‘m not carrying much toxic masculinity and why I absolutely despise it in other men. Unfortunately, I have attracted a couple of men who, sooner or later, feel the need to protect me from something or care for me in a way or explain things to me I did not ask for. maybe because I am a rather short and twinky guy who, on the outside, might seem inexperienced or whatever, which is not the case at all. I‘m 26 years old for god‘s sake. like, why do so many men in this day and age feel the need to provide for anything, if they‘ve never been specifically asked to do so?! I would never want a man to provide anything, if I can do it myself anyway. what I‘m trying to say is that those men do not only carry a certain kind of toxic masculinity regarding their financial situation, jobs, houses etc. BUT they also usually try to portray themselves as masculine as they can as they also reject their sexual orientation as much as anything else that‘s not heteronormative and manly. I had sooo many dudes saying „I don‘t really like sissy behavior or when a guy stands in the mirror plucking his brows before we leave“ like what do you even mean. on top of that, I had some of them spend hundreds of euros on me even though they barely knew me! my first boyfriend spent over 500€ on a weekend away to an island for our first date. another guy I was dating spent 1000€ for a two day trip to another city!!! like, this is crazy to me and it definitely made me feel odd like it was some kind of power play. in the end, it all trickles down to me realizing they‘re incredibly insecure and unsatisfied on so many levels which is so frustrating. it really fired my hatred for men which is stupid since I am a man myself but I learned how to not behave, think, and act like an idiot so why can‘t other men. I grew up in the same society as them so I see no reason why they wouldn‘t be able to reflect such behavior. it makes me so mad
You ARE a puzzle is correct. EVERYONE IS a puzzle. I feel like separate puzzles(people) should ideally just make sense with each other, in alignment with a relationship, but the pieces where that relationship meet, should NOT have to be remolded to fit. Again growth and change are positive things that occur within humans, but changing your puzzle or making it smaller is OUT of the question iyam
I you fell like your bending too much, its probably not the right peace, plus, im shore you'd want someone who fits in to your puzzle to (and Vice-versa), yours just has a different picture
