I can appreciate the idea of "love languages", but sometimes I feel people use them to justify not meeting their partners needs or compromising when they can. Relationships take work and understanding how your partner feels and what they need and finding a way to make that happen that still preserves your needs. These comnunucation and compromise issues will still exist even when you meet someone with the same "love language". There is no ideal soulmate that can just read your mind and needs all the same things as you.
@AmiriHipHop Obviously. That's why I explicitly said I can appreciate the idea and that SOMETIMES I feel people use it the way I described. In this video one couple mentioned how one person didn't express their love/affection verbally and it made the other feel unloved and it was chalked up to "love languages" being different, which that mindset may have contributed to why she cheated. There are obviously times where compromise isn't possible and certain needs just can't be met by the other person and that's ok. Not every person will be compatible, but even when you are generally compatible it still requires work and compromise to meet all needs.
definitely, also ppl keep talking about their home/ family growing up. I wanted to hear them not just mention it, but also try to explain how those experiences played a role in their relationships.
28:08 My heart broke when Mia breathed a sigh of relief after Rae agreed with her. You can see how desperate she was to hear those words and its so sad, to me at least, even though she was sort of at fault, sort of.
I wish they asked the “I wish my ex and I were still together” question in the beginning WITHOUT the couples turning around and then after all the questions and have them turn around. Would be interesting to see who changes/why
@@nadiasmith8752 I mean He literally wasted her time and her love for 2 years and saying he doesn't really feel like he belongs in a relationship. Like I would be livid&I would never speak to him again if I were her but I guess that's where her "niceness" comes into play&how she's still all buddy buddy with him.
@@olugboyeopeyemi2428 I agree with you and I would be livid too. I think she definitely should move and she gives off the vibe that she would still want to be in a relationship. He’s probably feeding off of that by still befriending her so he can still have access to her.
The possibility of love language is 90% of the time different with people around me, that doesn't made them a cheater. She wanted to cheat so she did and now she just had to give lame excuses.
@@spotty329 I dont feel any regret at all for anything from her. He was the one looking completly down while she is completly fine with her 304 behaviour. She just wants to get in his life to control him again it seems
@@pinchetii6555 "she was just giving her opinion" nobody asked for her opinion and the nature of the video should've made it clear that it was butting in by giving it
@@pinchetii6555 Love languages are complete nonsense anyway. It's so obvious how desperately she was clinging to the concept to try and make her cheating make sense in her mind.
It’s better for him on the long run she and the poly chick are extremely toxic like they were fr trying to gaslight their ex on camera🤣🤣 she have the audacity to claim it was due to a difference in love languages🤣 we all know she would’ve continued cheating if she wasn’t caught and if they got back together she will also cheat🗿
The lady who cheated is constantly blaming her cheating on different love languages and it's driving me crazy. the answer to ur needs not being met would be communicating and try to fix it or break up. not cheating. the answer is never cheating. she is making her situation look so tragic but she probably broke this dudes ability to trust longtherm with her careless actions.
For real, like love languages is a huge think sometimes some people cant give physical love to somebody and maybe the other partner is craving that. So communication is so important and i feel like if you ever feel like expectations are never met is better to break up than to choose to cheat.
@@nala6846Yep. I cheated on you, broke your heart, and being the first gf ruined your trust, I'm sorry but it was actually cause of love languages you see that I slept with your friend. My mouth doesn't work so I got my legs to instead. Now that's cleared, shall we start a family?
@@ichgeheunter he’s only telling half the story clearly. His best friend girl friend didn’t just randomly decide to start flirting with him out of nowhere
@@ichgeheunter if you need me to spell it out for you, he clearly let her think about this stuff for a long time and it’s literally why in the video she has trust issues about him. Not telling your partner the truth and dangling the thought you cheated on them/was flirting or doing whatever behind their backs is messed up.
Honestly I'm so glad Victor told Priscilla that he was done. So many people stay with spouses who openly show they're not interested in the relationship anymore out of fear of being alone.
Tbh, I'm the type to be with anybody for the rest of my life if it means not being alone, even if they treat me poorly or something. Definitely the other person would have to leave me.
fr, she just wants to get back with him as she's getting older and it's probably harder to find single men who are family oriented now that she wants a family. She can have that, sure, but she doesn't deserve to have it with him.
"There are literally millions of women out there who will respect you like she NEVER has." You DEFINITELY don't understand how hard dating is for men. Especially minority men.
@@williamspears1627dating in general is EXTREMELY hard now a days. People don’t know how to keep healthy relationships/friendships anymore. Yes, it’s easier for women to get laid than men. However exclusively dating someone and both being loyal and respectful is rare. Seems like people are just quick to replace you as soon as there’s one disagreement and that’s going for friendships as well.
Sadly it does happen, however you will forget about it, if it does happen to you and you'll be stronger as well. It's a risk I took and I found my soon to be husband🙂
Rae resents Mia so bad. Mia is shady for not telling her other partner about Rae tho. They said they were 19 when they dated so I wonder how long it’s been since.
@@Ergenhae but also Rae making Mia's wishes about Rae's own issues and comparing them and saying nothing Mia could ever experience compares to her experiences is toxic af
Priscilla and Victor break my heart in a way. The fact that he went from pursuer to not-relationship-person screams avoidantly attached, which probably made her anxious? Pure speculation ofc. Both seem so genuine and caring and wonderful.
Rae has such gaslighter energy. How did Mia “always get what she wanted” sexually if they were both tops but Rae never bottomed but Mia would to please Rae? Not wanting to be strapped is a perfectly valid boundary. Also they completed invalidated any personal feelings Mia may have about her own sexuality and gender just because rae had their own.
Yes. It's hilarious how he came there to make up but once he saw she wasn't willing to put up with his childish garbage he got salty like "I didn't wanna get back with her anyway".
Dane straight up went passive at the end with the qualities question. His way of answering questions were geared one way until he realized he wasn't going to get his way, then the switch happened.
@xercesgrlthat means he was in no way shape or form ready for any relationship if he's going to swap personalities like that. He was rejected, which happens. If either person is like that in a relationship it's either not going to last or it's going to be continuously toxic
Ah yes, the ol’ don’t do any housework until your partner starts to nag you and then act like they’re the villain because they don’t want to be your maid anymore.
Yuppp. Honestly I'm suspicious af of any guy who says his wife or girlfriend "nags" him.. My ex used to say the same when I would try to bring up the night before when he was being drunk and crazy af
That is legit embarrassing. Maybe she didn't break up because of the cuddle text or his constant victim attitude and holding things he's done over her head, but not cleaning should be a huge deal breaker.
I would’ve agreed with you however the only thing that made me defend him slightly was him feeling depression. It’s hard to do things if that’s what’s going on… however I don’t want to assume that like I know that to be 100% true…and that he’s not just being lazy out of choice
i mean sometimes you have different standards, one partner might find leaving dishes for 1 day acceptable while the other doesn't. shes forcing him to live up to her standards and nagging him when he doesn't. Made worse by him feeling depressed.
I think it's a practicality thing for her and it's understandable, but I think finding someone who is what she wants, speaks her love language, and would be a great father, would be a better person for her.
@@corablah9809 I feel like she just wanted to experience something different. And now that everything else failed in life for her she’s treating My like he’s the last resort for her desires.
How does she expect to have back after she said that she found someone better in bed than My. I appreciate the honesty but they should move on from eachother.
You are 100% correct!! She just wanted to take Dane, her treat, out to L.A to have fun and make cool memories. Luna was reminded why they weren’t a couple anymore 😢
That's usually what happens in traumatic relationships.. It tends to shut people up about what to say.. Selfish of me, but I was really hoping Luna would give us more information on some of the comments on what Dane said, and that she looked like she was going to comment on some of the stuff but retracted from answering.. Maybe it was me being selfish as to me wanting to know how she can get the courage to come forward like that in her defense against her ex but she wasn't very talkative.
thoughts: victor and priscilla are so unproblematic and both seem like genuine and great people. i feel bad for priscilla because she is sooooo sweet and she rlly thought it was gonna be endgame, but on the other hand, i’m glad victor expressed his feelings so honestly. they are much mature people and i wish them the best :)
I don't know about saying Victor is "unproblematic" He literally broke up with her simply because "he doesn't feel like being in a relationship anymore" after wasting her time&love for 2 years despite him saying that she treated him amazingly&all that I don't know,if Priscilla was my sister or friend, I would hate him so much 😂
@@olugboyeopeyemi2428but what would have been the alternative? Stay with her out of pity? That would’ve been the problematic thing to do to me personally…
@@olugboyeopeyemi2428we praise women for leaving 20 year long marriages with kids because they wanted " to explore themselves" but are shitting on a dude who respectfully broke up with his 2 year gf and helped her date other people?
@@olugboyeopeyemi2428Would you rather break up with somebody because they cheated on you or because they lost interest?? Losing interest/attraction in a relationship is something you can’t control.
And he did absolutely right. You don't need to sugar coat things when you clearly see that someone doesn't want you. Imagine expecting people to be sweet fakers just to please others. Good for him
He's toxic af. His own behavior is the reason she doesn't want him anymore. I wonder which personality disorder he has, because he very clearly has one.
@@Thankyouverymuchfriendhow? Name one thing? She even looks depressed and hurt when he doesn't want her back, yet somehow she was scared of him? She came on a show to air their dirty laundry yet she is frightened? You don't even know what gaslighter means. What you did was not like his long hair and think she is pretty, that's the extent of your analysis of him.
It looks more like Luna is the gaslighter gurl, she doesn’t want to acknowledge her own mistakes and keeps playing the victim like he’s only in the wrong, common he moved because he wanted to? Gurl be fr
We’ve all seen a Dane switch up, whether in film or in real life or at least heard about his type. He reeks of toxicity. He wants to control her. He definitely use to gaslight her based off this short video in my opinion. I hope she stays away from him.
And I missed the part where he gaslit her. Maybe the part where they were talking about his laziness but thats about it. Luna probably is lost because she most likely dated after and didn't find the commitment Dane had for her in other men and now she's just lost
And I hope Dane truly moves on because Luna and women like her won't find success in dating if they can't admit their own faults in a relationship, regardless of who did more to mess it up in the first place.
I think he was just holding back from the beginning because he still had a little bit of hope since he loved her more. But clearly he had enough and just decided to stop being gracious with her behavior.
The way Rae completely disqualifies and just casts aside Mia's feelings and/or experience, shocking. Of course you were going through something horrible, that maybe we don't understand or understand how horrible it feels. But that doesn't mean you can just compare it to what the other person is feeling/experiencing and say: mine is worse, so it trumps yours, so that's that.
when priscilla talked about how victor made her feel safe in big crowds with the gesture he’d do, i actually teared up. it’s something so small but means so much
Pricilla wants Victor's approval SO BAD, I feel for her. I think she should find someone that gives as much as she does. She just seems super sweet and Victor is indifferent.
I personally believe Dane was the major contribute to their breakup. Even if you just listen to what he is saying in this video, you hear him interrupting her when it is her turn to speak, his body language is honestly terrifying, and he keeps trying to turn it against her and say she was nagging when she just wanted him to stop using sadness about moving away as an excuse to not pick up after yourself. He felt that he sacrificed for the relationship by moving? Well I'm sorry, but that is nothing compared to what she did for the relationship. Her voice is staying calm while he is getting agitated and that indicative of anger issues. He was just overall toxic and I hope she's better off without him.
You nailed it honey!!! Luna Drew is my child, she is an extremely honest human ((: She made too many attempts to forgive Dane until she didn’t anymore 😢
Ah moving is nothing. Leaving behind your town, family and friends, people you’ve built relationships with and formed bonds with your entire life is nothing. You must not know how depression works. Also his body language is terrifying? You must live a sheltered life for how he’s just standing there to be terrifying.
She clearly saw greener pastures elsewhere, but that usually dont work as you intend, which is why she was even there... I think she wants to keep him around as backup like most women do but that not going to be the case anymore lol
It's because he's in America. He just needs to get a passport to his home country and I bet you he can he replace any EX in a second. He won't even know what a heartbreak is anymore. Those traditional women are on a different level on making their lover feel like a king.
@@dodo5257-v3fyeah cause American women are their own person and live their own life with their own standards INSTEAD of giving up their whole life and mothering their husbands every single need like a child. Women are individuals of their own.
@@subwayanime5wynne840”their own lives”. That’s why 70% of divorces are by women who upend their family’s lives: children, husband and all. Just because they want to “live their own lives”. No concept of sacrifice, responsibility and integrity.
Imagine looking at someone and immediately judging em, calling em loser and dirty. Yall really the most self aware ppl huh😂 yalls physical appearance must definitely be perfect huh
@@soandso5058my guy, I’ve seen so many of ur comments replying to people talking about Dane, why u so defensive 😂 they both were on the wrong, including him. Relax brudda
@@soandso5058 but what do you need explained? having a partner that doesn’t do simple things to run the household would be beyond frustrating. as for the manipulation if you can’t see through his comments and the smirking idk what to tell you
there's different levels of cleanliness... Luna could be with someone crazier on the cleaning aspect and annoy her. it's about compatibility, you can't change your partner.
It sounded like he needed to be "told" to do very simple things, like picking up after himself (something you'd expect a child to pick up on). She knew if she didn't ask it wouldn't get done, and he resented her for asking. @@smashmusique
Jennifer literally smiled and was holding in her smile when My was talking about how he cried over her. Please don’t take her back My, she doesn’t deserve you at all.
you do realize some people smile or laugh when uncomfortable yes? she’s literally in front of strangers and a camera which will be posted to millions, i don’t think she expected him to go so deep in these discussions..
Broke? The dude moved to Alabama AND FOUND WORK FOR BOTH OF THEM in Alabama. He has flaws, sure, but he can admit it, and she "doesn't want to get into an argument" when looking at the mirror. His look and demeanor gave that vibe until you hear their stories. Never judge a book by its cover.
I feel like though Dane may have felt overlooked or underappreciated in his and Luna's relationship, Luna constantly felt the burden of trying to please him while taking care of them both. This stress could've been the reason for her overlooking what he considered sacrifices or efforts he made just because so little was being done from him and so much needed to be done for them both.
it is beyond me how men like Dane manage to end up with absolutely beautiful and sweet girls like Luna and still have the audacity to act the way they do...
@@Gazelle871 Not just glossed over, claimed it didnt count, what she did counted, even though no examples were given, his was what he chose to do. She is quite narcisistic, he is a slob round the house.
My you deserve so much better than Jen. She cheated on you and tried to make weak excuses. Point blank, there is no valid reason or excuse to cheat. It hurts my heart seeing My stand on "yes" to wanting to get back together. He could find someone so much better if he moved on. He derseves someone loyal and who repsects and understands his way of showing love.
I was so sad about him choosing "yes" too. She made a mistake in cheating on him, and now wants him back because she realizes the grass wasn't greener. She's terrible. If she wanted to start a family with him, she had her chance.
I mean he did mention he wishes there was a "maybe" choice to stand on. He seems like he would love to be with her deep down but he knows its not wise to. Doesn't mean he doesn't want it, just means he has PHENOMENAL self control.
@@joannalee8525I'm a bit curious where people see actually gaslighting with Dane? Like it seems like he admits he is lazy he didn't clean (even if he disputes that it was necessary). He also seems like a stereotypical useless stoner archetype as well as coming of pretty immature but in my opinion those red flags aren't enough to say he must've been gaslighting about the things they disagreed about. Am I missing something?
Why? Bro if someone doesnt want you to go down on them either respect it or leave. BOUNDARIES?? Mias crying about not being able to go down on her bfr 😂😂
@@PJ-oe6eu At one point he corrects Luna saying 'that's how it was' to 'in *your* head that's how it was' which is textbook gaslighting. Insisting that it never happened and making the other person doubt themselves. It's really shitty when you don't feel heard and your partner isn't willing to even entertain that they may have actually messed up and hurt you.
I hope the Asian guy reads this. DO NOT get back with her. Once a cheater always a cheater is the truest statement. Just bc you’re getting older and had love does not mean you won’t find it again. Please do not get back with her.
@@mamindersingh8181idk if youre trying to imply that they only feature Chinese people? The host here has a Japanese name and I think the host for the middle ground videos is Indian. They clearly have asian representation within their team and in the people they feature....its a bit exagerative to say its only Chinese
Dane is really immature... not sharing household chores properly is such a typical "blind spot" for many men... they get sooo defensive because they have to actually do their fair share.
Isn't the issue also not being direct and proactive about it? If he really doesn't care then he doesn't. That opens up possibilities. Either in sitting down and discussing how he can compensate for that issue, e.g him fixing stuff and doing things of equal effort/amount that she might hate doing/will never have to do. Or them splitting the chores or doing them together. I never really understood why couples see chores as an individual task that is a competition. Do the dishes together and have a nice chat meanwhile. Or fold the laundry together, that makes it much less boring anyway. Or if you want to compete, both clean a room, the fastest getting a dinner cooked by the other. Find a way that works for you where you can feel appreciated for your effort. He may get a bj in sexy lingerie if he does the chores during the week, she may get a massage or whatever she wants. Of course it is better if that happens organically, but if that fails, it won't be the worst if they put out a ruleset like 5x doing x will be that reward. However all of this necessitates actually communicating and not being shy to say what you really feel while trying to compromise
Rae and Mia: alot of drama idk who is worse Luna and Dane: yea it seems like dane wanted luna back and once he realized shes very done w him he kinda started retaliating Jen and My: my definitely deserved better Update: Victor and Priscilla i totally forgot about them bc they didn't really talk but theyre honestly the healthiest unfortunately they were solid til victor was like nah 😭 i feel bad for priscilla
I agree except Dane and Luna. Lina avoided so many of Danes critics by "not wanting to fight" or doing some cutesy nervous move then rebutting but never acknowledging his frustrations whereas Dane apparently took hard looks at what she thought and acknowedleged his shortcomings in an effort to move forward. I have a wife like Luna who just diverts attention off herself and never acknowledges their toxicity or contributions to the negativity in the relationship.
Tbh I do agree there was a lot of drama between Rae and Mia but the way that Rae invalidated Mia’s feelings just REALLY threw me off. She def could’ve reworded her words better to communicate it healthier, but to downplay Mia’s feelings?? Especially as her first time ever doing that with a woman + all the emotional stuff with that type of relationship and doing it for the first time. So personally I think Rae is worse in the relationship
@@Zwird I think by "how she tries to justify it" they mean when Jen said that My just wasnt speaking her "love language" and meeting her needs. How you take what she said depends on the person
@@soandso5058 you're literally saying this under every comment about one of the girls deserving better and saying their ex partner deserved better instead. dane did NOT deserve better, he literally won the lottery with luna, she's great. he won't do better
@@kyndallhaney7212 Girl, same 😭 I don't know how she could stay there with a straight face the whole time... I swear every time he spoke my mind chose violence, and he's not even my ex.
Rae and Mia were 100% the most "toxic" relationship there besides Dane and Luna. They were more... Passive aggressive?? And the way they were talking about there significant sacrifices, Mia just looked so uncomfortable talking about it from what I can see..
She literally refuses to be accountable and there's still comments defending her, you people are toxic and need help, stop validating people's shitty behavior
@soandso5058 Yeah, an opinion based on how they act lmao. Of course we don’t know the entire story-we’re all just responding to what we see here. That’s fair~
With Rea and Mia - Just because someone their problems or challenges are tougher than others does not mean they are less valid or the sacrifice less important
bruh mia is entitled af what are you talking about. she was horrible and selfish and had the audacity to claim sex was "emotional labor" like girl you have no idea what that term means
@@yung.alchemistsex is absolutely an emotional experience. if you are performing sex solely for your partner and not getting joy how is that not emotional labor
@@Zimburtledurdles Nah. Mia tried to actually pull the "emotional labor" card with her 0.0 EQ. She fulfilled a lot of stereotypes. Not surprised the one filling the male role in the social dynamics got taken to the cleaners. Probably why that demographic has the highest divorce rate, by a wide margin.
OMG NO to JEN. There is no excuse for cheating. Plus, the way that she was talking about the relationship feels like she's going to do it again. She only wants you back because she's getting older and she's getting less attention that she did.
That come cuddle with dane and Luna was hilarious. the way he said "yeah I think she was doing it on purpose *giggle*" and "that's my story... true story *giggle*"
Dane's vague and flakey answers, especially to the prompt about making sacrifices, just give off huge red flags. He's the kind of guy to keep balances and cheques, weaponise his incompetence, and appears to argue for the same of arguing... the dude cannot for the life of him take responsibility. Pure petulance.
Crazy u say that when he specifically took accountability for each and every one of his mistakes whereas Luna dodged that accountability and even said “ I’m sorry you felt that way “ instead of saying sorry for the way she made him feel . Also Dane saw them together for the long run Luna basically did ts just to do it trees behavior
Rae just completely shut down Mia on the intimacy thing. Like even if there was pain on their end there was still pain on her end too. Her sacrifices and feelings shouldn't be compared to yours in a battle, it's not a competition. You don't win the pain game.
Rae is the type of person that is very confused (as she openly admitted) and is very hard to please. She said that their sex life isn't great but yet when asked if they had better sex after the breakup, she stood on no! She needs some therapy..
Dane is a horrible person. Textbook narcissist. He ruined New Years for her by walking out and giving an all night silent treatment. He has a female friend / pick-me who plays games and texts things like, "come cuddle" to him, knowing that it will be seen by her, and he laughs about it. He likes to pit people against each other, obviously. Manipulative birds of a feather flock together. I'm glad she's away from him, and I hope she goes "no contact".
