Hi I have a question,yesterday I was running to the bathroom and my crush popped out of no where in the corner and I bumped into his chest and stared at his chest and started screaming(cuz he is taller then me)I’m so embarrassed,what will he think of me now😭😭
1. Transactual investment (time, effort, energy). Women, be more elusive so he can invest in you. 2. Feelings with substance. 3. If you can hang out without any kind of sex and still have a good time. 4. Long term decision making/investment. Going from a Me to a We mindset. 5. Consistency. Nothing matters if he’s not consistent.
📝 Summary | See 60% Of These And You'll Soon Become His Girlfriend: 1. Transactional investment - resource exchange (time, energy, effort etc.) 2. Feelings with substance (there has to be transition, vulnerability, depth; he should be consistently investing more long-term) 3. Sex is just an icing on the cake. (He can hang with you even without) 4. Long-term decision making (He plans, talks about the future, lets you meet family & friends or mentions you to them) 5. Consistency (He's consistent with sustainable and genuine actions.)
@@seraphlazuli6251 it's more about himself than you. The reasons don't have to do with us at all. Humans act according to what they think is best for them. In the meantime, use the separation period to live your best life & chase your dreams!
I usually meet men that are saying "I'm in love" after 2-3 days of texting and then disappear for a week or more. Saying "I love you" while you are just getting to know each other is the biggest red flag, that means he wants something from you. Never trust that man.
I believe that is not true. I was like that when I was 20. These people are not emotionally mature but do not assume they are lying or that they want just sex. That is very wrong. They feel a strong emotion which probably should be properly named infatuation. Guys when they really like a girl think about how a relationship with her would be.
@@flyandshy00 Either way, I don't really care about who you will trust. I just don't believe what you say is true. Men who say 'I love you' too quickly are likely emotionally immature but I believe that most often they feel something that they consider 'love', whatever that is. My experience is that when you don't feel like that the motivation to pursue goes to zero. (Pursuing does not work on the other hand either way).
MsMissheartless I don’t believe that someone who really likes you would get bored if he is showing these signs. If he doesn’t put effort into your relationship then I don’t think there was much of one to begin with. As sad as it is. He may have been using you as a rebound to get over a different person. Just a thought. Which isn’t good and you shouldn’t want to be with a guy who does that to begin with.
If you are dealing with a narcissist. They are real good about being very charming and loving at the beginning. Until they feel as though they actually got you. Once they have you they could care less.
I’ve been married for almost 16 yrs and yet watching this lol....interesting knowledge....I remember prior to being with my husband, I have so many bfs (i know it was bad but damn I enjoyed it) and men chasing me bc I don’t chase men. I have a great life and did my thing where men must make me the center of his life. But with the right person, you really don’t need any dramas, it will be easy....even if you have big obstacles he will make it seems easy for you.....that’s when I said yes to my current husband....
@@sjordan7085 I live in the present moment everything is in the current. I’m not a divorcee I’m still with my husband. Actually the lockdown forced both of us to work from home and it has been a blessing for us, my husband is the best support system and I am truly grateful for him.
@@BK-tp6jf I know, right? Her comment is all any woman needs to hear. Honestly. There’s so much bullcrap videos about ‘when a guy does this..’’. Blah blah blah. If he and you aren’t jiving, nothing is happening, he’s not providing for you, …forget about him! Don’t ever invest (ahem! sex!) in a guy until you know he and you have something very real. And that means there will be no questions, you’ll be at peace. You have absolute trust in him because he’s never shown you bullshit and always brings good to you, with actual love (love is patient, love is kind..1 Corinthians 13-4). Too many women desperate and will eat bullshit. That’s the level of relation it will stay because that’s the true level of your relationship: bullshit.
This is interesting, I met my bf and told him I didn’t want anything serious from the start and within 3 weeks he asked me to be his gf! I said no, so we waited a bit longer until I was ready weeks later. He came on super strong in the start, but it all worked out & we’ve been together for 5 months now :))
Unless he’s a narcissist or controlling. They all play nice and put off the sex in the beginning to get you hooked. Then they treat u like crap. Some play nice to destroy women.
Thanks to your videos ,I've made the man I want, work. 😂hes been consistent for the past 2 months,everyday communication. We see each other more often. I'm still not putting out until I see more resources but so far, its going good.
A lot of girls are saying these guys fall in love in the first couple days then dip...just because he says it doesn't mean he means it, if a guy says that I read it as lust not love. Its concerning to see so many kind ladies get hurt from early falsehoods.
This was really helpful. New guy and I are past the 8 date mark, but he shows all these signs. I have really bad relationship anxiety so sometimes I have to step back and breathe before I get obsessive.
Don’t be taken for granted. Do this by taking your worth and shine! Glowup blowup! Love you first and it will show. Allow him to be. And allow yourself to be. Do not force what the universe will provide. Just show up as authentic and be you❤️
Great advice! You nailed it! Instead of looking to move forward, start building or growing roots and groundedness. Thats gold, now i know where we women go wrong. Better idea how to correct that. Tq so much for the Masculine Wisdom, Elliott! 💖👍
Realistic. 👍 Most women tell me the same if a guy likes you he would talk more, ask more questions, take you on dates etc etc. Which makes me anxious and negative. But as to what I see all the signs are clear. This guy from tinder gives me the exact signs based on this video so I can't doubt it to be a red flag. I'm fine with slow that's me. I value dignity and respect if not for other types of women out there. "Slow and Steady wins the Race" ☺💪
these can all be false alarms, relationships grow over time. these signs could happen in days. the man can think he is in love for a few days and then get bored at the thought of you. a real lover will take time to fall for you. my boyfriend was my best friend for two years before we got together, and it makes us a stronger couple because of the bond that we built in time. the way you know it’s real isn’t by some signs it’s by the time that they try to spend with you whenever they can. my boyfriend talked to me every day for hours on end for all those two years just growing our relationship and it worked
I've had a man for years in love with me. He is amazing he makes himself too available ladies same thing don't make yourself too available. The one I left spent money on me he wasn't nothing
I got a fair number of these but in the end I was still left feeling like I was invisible and that I might as well have been just another name on a list.
1:12 I love how he makes it clear that its ultimately up to the man to commit no matter what..placing all responsibility o a man! you can do so much, but if a guy is not the commitment type but a fuckboy..your work will blow up on you!!
Sound advice. Unfortunately men will do and almost say anything including spending $$$ on a woman. When she becomes "boring" he moves along to the next. So, how do we know if he's sincere? The fact is we don't. No offense but it's more complex than explained here. Anyway, I still like your videos. 😎👍
Nothing is guaranteed like the other person said below. It’s called giving trust to someone and they should be giving that trust back. Cause they don’t know if you’ll get bored either. It’s called a relationship for a reason cause you both have to invest and give trust into each other. Srry if that sounds a bit harsh but that’s the truth. That is why love/liking someone is crazy.
Boredom is also not an excuse. There's a point in love in which its all about work and keeping emotions high. If someone starts getting bored then should be time to go to your partner and talk about that and see if there's a way to work on that, be a bit creative and try to solve things out. It's very unfair your partner doesn't really say anything until it's all dead and there's no way back. Long lasting relationships are a decision to work it up together. It doesn't just maintain it self.
How does a relationship become boring? ? I’m really confused on that. If they’re doing everything right& they have a connection from the start, how does Boredom even ruin a genuine connection in a relationship ? Unless there was no genuine connection to being with.
Good relationships are like the job you go to daily. You invest your time and effert and you get paid. You both work on it nonstop forever or it doesent work. If your already tierd from your job that you have to do to support yourself. Stay single because another job is gonna exhaust you and there's no guarantees.
Elliot, thanks for the video. I've been seeing someone who I'm falling in love with for 2 months and a half. We've always talked about not wanting a "relationship" at least not for the moment, but we act like we're in a committed, mono, relationship. All those 5 factores exist. (not the family because they live on the other side of the world) and even with all these evidences he doesn't talk about feelings. His actions do though. But it drives me crazy... He says sometimes he's afraid that he lost his ability to "feel" but I can't believe that because he's extremely sweet, caring, cuddly, etc... It's an enigma...
Going on 5 mons in my second relationship after leaving my ex husband I can say I’m very happy today and watching lots of your videos Elliot ...thank you your advice is awesome
Yes I think this is accurate. I don’t think anything is wrong with incorporating sex if everything else is going well. I look like that as icing on the cake. The emotional connection is what is the most important. But I guess I do sometimes wonder about the time span of things. Two months of talking to the dude I’m really feeling him and He hasn’t really planned anything else. He’s very go with the flow, which is fine to a certain extent. I like how he spaces dates out because we text each other all the time, but I feel like I put him in the category of a guy I would marry rather than not taking serious. I’m Just trying to go with the flow. But I know what i want, and it’s him.
K, so think I've been played and am kicking myself because I thought I had a good judgment in people.... He is recently divorced and even said that he isn't looking for anything.....then why the heck did he continue texting me everyday, (even drove me home from work, bought me things, talked about deep things) then last week he just went cold! I seriously don't think I'll ever believe any other guy ever again.... :(
I have 90% of those things going on Between us....but he claims me as best friend....he is very confusing 😅😅😅....keep us in your prayer because i like him Pretty much...
anime and sushi? And you understand human psychology and relationships? Next level faith in you 😂 you’re like my best friends. It’s cool to get advice from someone who has qualities like your friends.
I come to see if he really wants it. I confess with my friend that I like him. And we are trying it out to see if we can be a couple. Everything you mentioned here is there:) consistency is one of his best qualities!
1.) Transactual investment - provide resources: time, energy, effort - invest in you to see where he stands. Women: Be elusive, be mysterious. Put barriers. 2.) Feelings with substance. Invest more, depth, trust, loyalty, consistency, build the roots aka "slower pace" for long-term. 3.) Is not focused on sex. 4.) Long-term decision making - you're included in his decisions. Meeting friends and family, leaving things in your place 5.) Consistency - meeting up on a regular basis (once or twice a week) or communicating with you with consistency
Had the first 3. He even made me his girlfriend. And he ran away BECAUSE he got too close emotionally, and opened up to me,, and it scared him, and I wanted to plan for the future. Man I am tired.
VERY GOOD just one additional you didn't include - why I NEVER met one who is like the one you are talking here about? Men have today no sense of being a MAN.
Hi Elliott! Amazing video! If a guy poured his heart out about being dumped by a young 25 year old woman, does that mean he was using me as an emotional crutch? I guess I have a slight crush on him. I feel hurt that I wasn’t asked anything about myself. When I talked about my family he didn’t respond. A coworker from Texas land of lame douchebags told me something. She said she met a Toxic man on Tinder! She said he was so toxic that she can’t even date anymore! I feel the same way! Texas is one big toxic hell hole! Please help! Much love!
So would you say a guy that asks you to be his girlfriend after the second date isn’t a relationship kinda guy? We have only kissed I wouldn’t even say we have made out yet. We are both old fashioned but I won’t lie second date and he asks me to be his gf is shocking not used to that. Our txt is constant but, that’s about 15 txt back and forth throughout the day, not much talking
Started out listening knowing I’m messing with someone who doesn’t do none of these things and after listening I’m like he really is investing into me slowly interesting 🤔 from not meeting his friends all that much a 2 yrs ago to meeting his mom and sister n her friend n there sons last year and his best friend to now meeting his brother by doing his brother hair n his hair and everything.. I guess that’s a damn great sign .. we don’t talk or text everyday but when we get together we exchange how we been and we catch up .. I’d wished we go out more instead of our normal routine but that’s changing this year .. he is emotionally depth because when I ghosted him he tracked me down it was a month n some change cause I thought he wants nothing to do with me no relationship no nothing.. well when we saw each other the day after thanksgiving we made up n it got better between us n though it’s still slow
Question? What if a guy flirts with you every time he sees me. Then says to me "it's ok for a woman to ask a guy out" while having a huge smile on his face? Would that be the time to just relax and ask? It is it better to wait and keep him wondering.
Denise Bermudes he would ask you out if he liked you. It’s like a drive. The fact that he is wanting you to ask is some kind of game playing garbage. Maybe even to say later “oh she was after me, not the other way around.” I would avoid this.
No if he's brave enough to say that, he's brave enough to do it himself..hes playin a game. Just play along just to fk w him n in the meantime look for someone else
He was a big con man. I found out after 18 months. He was good at it pretending everything. I caught him in a lie where I already knew the truth and he told a big lie. I didn't text him back. Now he's just nothing to me.
@@ElliotScottDating Same here, but I bought one of those tennis ball-bungee thingees, so there's hope. I know--just what every guy wants: A middle-aged broad who can stomp their asses in tennis, lol
I don't even know where mines is standing at anymore; quite confusing. Not like my current partner ever did introduce me to his parents but by accident or coincidence. Yet his parents doesn't care that there's a girl he brought in.
Can you do a video about why an ex would want to stay friends? I stopped reaching out and they kept reaching out all the time so I asked what was up and they said they missed what we had but want to be friends? Then right after that sends me an album to listen to? Like wtf lol. I don’t stay friends or even keep talking to ex’s so why is he hitting me up like nothing happened. So confused.
He does all of this but he's consistently slow and it drives me nuts but I'm being patient as I can coz I don't wanna fuck it up. Thanks for the advice..out of a narcissist relationship for almost 10 yrs and I'm used to being kept at arms length most of the time so it's different for me but I do get it now.
I have an ex bf who brought me around friends and family and then was still seeing other women and having sex with them. Meeting friends and family doesn't mean much, honestly
