If Team Fortress 2 Was Updated by a Bot 

3:51 "Updated someone." Spy: "He could be any one of us! He could be you! He could be me!"

"Rumor has it Florida exists" actually seems like something valve would put in their patch notes in 2011-2015 era tf2

5:20 I unironicly love the idea of a taunt that has a ¼ chance of blowing you up. 😂

3:46 I love soldiers face here. He’s not even mad or upset. He’s just confused by this utter nonsense.

“aiming players will no longer output damage” holy shit the bot fixed the bot crisis

"fixed an issue where scout could run" finally, a good update

“Fixed a bug where players.” Thank you.

5:20 would actually be a pretty cool easter egg to the kritzkrieg, overdosing after taunting too much

"Scout Eviction in 7 seconds" was so ominous and terrifying

Valve: "Alright guys, we've fixed the aimbot problem!" 3:09

The fact that the "adding pyros head" could be interpreted as a fix to the spy bug where disguised as pyro his head is missing is pretty cool.

Imagine seeing the entire team being snipers, taunting while cosmetics fall from the sky and crashing your game

Scout getting progressively nerfed into the ground, from "fixed scout being able to run", to "tomislav now crits scout", Then SCOUT EVICTION IN 7 SECONDS, and finally just fixing being able to play scout is really funny to me.

Man, this video is so underrated, I laughed the whole time

3:50 It's the Heavy Update, I think it's pretty clear who got updated

0:37 literally the most accurate representation of valve I’ve ever seen

This isn’t the heavy update, this is the anti-scout update.

“Updated someone” “Added 32 new characters” These work together surprisingly well

7:09 As if scout didn’t already struggle against heavy

1:53 The way scout says RAGEQUIT just killed me

I like the idea that the Heavy Update is not "Heavy focused" but "Made by Heavy"

7:18 I love how it says “fixed” like scouts entire existence was a mistake they made and never bothered to fix for the 14 years tf2 has existed until now

5:03 New Weapon: The Kurwacka Headshots cause enemies to speak Polish + 80% Damage increase to non-Polish Speakers + Instantly Jarates on body-shot - 25% Damage decrease to Polish Speakers - No Random Crits

The demo minicrit and explosion to Smissmas 2015 had me genuinely laughing. Holy shit that bit got me.

This gives me heavy vibes of the “Multiply a Weapon’s Stats by 10” animation from 10 years ago, but modern.

2:07 Bot Dev: "Casual - Matches can now start" "Matches will add additional spies" *_"A small price to pay for salvation..."_*

4:13 I love how demo just FACEPLANTS LOL

I asked an actual bot (ChatGPT AI actually) to give me Patchnotes like that and it gave me this: - Adjusted gravity "banana" - Removed gravity - Updated the Engineer's wrench with more wrenchiness - Fixed the players again - Randomized Pyro's flamethrower particles into confetti - Scout now moves at the speed of smell - Removed all unlockable hats and replaced them with fish - Slightly increased the Pyro's ability to set things on fire by 3000% - Added 37 new invisible hats - Heavy now only communicates through interpretive dance - Fixed Spy disguising as existential dread - Reverted everything to a previous version that doesn't exist - Added "invisible sandwich" as a consumable for the Heavy - Demoman's sticky bombs now apologize for any inconvenience. - Medics can now heal their own boredom EDIT: I'm on reddit. Pretty cool. But for people wondering yeah this WAS made by ChatGPT. I simply asked it to create bad updates, instead of normal updates. As I stated, "I asked gpt to create updates like these (in the video)"

A line of snipers dancing while hats rain from the sky is quite possibly the most TF2 thing I've ever seen.

There will never be a patch note more ominous then "The Damage"

6:03 unhelpful engineer moment

i love how some of the changes bleed over into future scenes like for instance, the spy doesn't backstab the engineer with the 90 second afterburn penalty because he runs purely with a revolver now very smart, i like

3:48 i love how heavy is just yelling PYRO YOU BITCH after commiting arson to 2fort

>90 second afterburn penalty on engineer death I'm dying. Rarely does a video make me laugh all the way through, Jesus Christ, one of the funniest videos I've seen in a long time

7:40 I thought the punchline was going to be that, once the second sniper got a red dot on his gun, he would taunt, but the dot was just the opposing sniper’s laser, and he would get shot. Then the opposing sniper would taunt and get the cosmetics

7:30 Sniper crashes the TF2 economy

"Fixed the Spy" is a more intriguing update than anything valve has put out in four years.

The bit where snipers spawns unlimited hats and crashed the economy was probably the best

4:50 So...does this imply that the narrator was "removed from liberty" as well?

Ever since scout caused halloween the game started hunting him, starting this update

So, among other things: -There will be tons more Spies, but that's okay because they suck now. -We hate Scout.

“Tomislav now crits scout” This truly is heavy update. 200% better

0:45 pov:you a heavy main and the enemy's team is just scouts

the fact that the scout eviction actually took 7 seconds is amazing

“Pyro head added” Scout wasn’t afraid of a decapitated pyro head. He was afraid of an empty gas mask. They added an actual head for pyro. This means pyro is out there showing the world their new face, and none of the mercenaries are ready to open that can of worms.

"Tomslav now crits Scout" I need this

It would be so funny to be playing a regular match and just start seeing hats fall from the sky.

We need a part 2 to this masterpiece

This is really hilarious. Fantastic animation style too, fits perfectly with the premise of the video.

6:40 I love how innocent the Engineer's smile is

2:30 We making it out the PS2 with this one 🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥

I took the summer update and ran it through the Markov, here you go: hort performance Improved optimisation volume of small visuals Fixed Engineer not being able to move/shoot while it’s deployed Fixed pl_enclosing able to C to improved player clipping Updated cp_steel Prop collision cleanup and stability issue with the Strange Count Transfer Tool not being able to move for the Mann vs. Machine upgrade panel closions Added occluders to trange Count Translator Fix rare double death bug when falling ceiling stuck in spawn locations on pl_cashworks Fixed missmas 2021/2022 Cosmetic Case not being shown in the Mann vs. Machine upgrade panel closing after 2019 War Paint Case models Fixed some tournament medals Updated cp_steel Prop collision issues, with the Taunt: Teufort Tango Large Summer 2023 patch: 14 new community maps: Sharkbay, Rotunda, Phoenix, Cashworks Fix room on pl_enclosure_final point is more accurate to the ConTracker and stuck spots and stuck spots including explosion on rock near final to fix localization where a tele spawn locations Added some tournament crash related to the map Spawn on A Fixed some tournament medals Fixed an exploits Improve performance Improved optimisations and their exits Fixed numerous perch points Fixed some tournament medals Updated players being able to enter teleporter could be build out of the Mann Co. Store Updated to the visuals Updated/Added occluders being able to transfer stats for a short perch point so it is more a teleporter the Universal Translator Fixed a transparency issues, with sticky and rocket jumping Fix rare double death bugs Fixed missing after doing The High Five taunt Fix rare double death bug when falling clipping Updated clipping able to A Updated/Added occluders to C to improved optimisation issues (collisions on stairs, props, etc.) Fixing able to trange Count Transfer stats for vsh_distillery Fixed missing No Headphones style for a short period of small visuals Fix Pixel walk collision cleanup and improved optimisation issues (collision issues Fixing contributor for vsh_distillery, VSH Skirmish, and improved clipping, etc.) Fix Pyro door exploit on rock near final to fix localization issues Fixing ceiling contributor for vsh_distillery Fixed the Smissmas 2021/2022 Cosmetic Case models Fixed spelling for Sandvich items Fixed spelling exploit related cp_steel Prop collision, props, etc.) Fix Pixel walk collision on pl_cashworks, Venice, Reckoner, Sulfur, Hard Carry Unusual effect Fixed a teleporter could be build rate to the visuals Fixed lots of small visual bugs Fixed some small exploits Clean up geometry in spawns, the spawn location where a teleporter audio that was referencing the dispenser by mistake in Spanish Fixed incorrect alpha channels for the Smissmas 2021/2022 Cosmetic Case models Fixed lots of small visual bugs Fixed some small exploits Improved clipping Updated cp_steel Prop collision cleanup and improved player clipping and stuck spots including exploits Clean up geometry in spawns, the spawn locations and their exits Fix roof readability issues, with sticky and rocket jumping Fix rare double death bug when falling into pit Fix Cliff stuck spots including exploits Clean up geometry in spawn door to A Updated cp_steel Prop collision cleanup and improved player clipping Explosive splash bug collision cleanup and improved clipping Updated cp_mossrock Fixed numerous perch points Fixed the Mann vs. Machine upgrade panel closing after receiving a matchmaking party invite Fixed a locations and their exits Fix roof readability issues, with sticky and rocket jumping Fix rare overtime cap bug Fix Red team getting stuck in spawn door to A Updated cp_mossrock Fixed numerous perch points Fixed the Mann vs. Machine upgrade panel closing after receiving a matchmaking party invite Fixed lots of small visual bugs Fixed lots of small visual bugs Fixed some small exploits Improved clipping Updated cp_gravelpit_snowy Boosted volume of snowman explosions Added occluders to C to improve performance Improved clipping Updated cp_steel Prop collision cleanup and improvements Fixed the Strange Count Transfer stats for Sandvich items Fixed an explosions Added occluders to C to improve performance Improved clipping Updated cp_gravelpit_snowy Boosted volume of snowman explosions Added occluders to C to improvements Fixed the Engineer teleporter audio that was referencing the dispenser by mistake in Spanish Fixed incorrect alpha channels for the Smissmas 2021/2022 Cosmetic Case models Fixed the Winter 2019 War Paint Case not being shown in the Mann Co. Store Updated cp_gravelpit_snowy Boosted volume of snowman explosions Added occluders to C to improve performance Improved optimisationrop collision cleanup and improved player clipping Explosive splash bug collision on rock near final point so it is more accurate to the visuals Fixed players being able to transfer Tool not being able to move for a short period of time after doi

I couldn't stop LAUGHING!!!! This NEEDS a part 2!

Flammable maps actually sounds like a good gimmick idea, I wanna see it.

I wonder if we can get a sequel to this with how much AI Generated text as improved... Could be even crazier!

Im so proud how fast your channel is growing and how so many people relate to you. Sending love!

The part with “use the air” actually worked on me due to laughing.

I'm suprised there weren't more new weapons like the construction notice.

this video is like an enigma, i have no idea why but i keep coming back to it

3:48 “Pyro you b*tch!” 😆

7:14 deleted scene of “Meet the Scout”

7:08 killed me, it's just crapping on the Scout back to back to back for no reason

5:15 i wish...

I like how all pyro got was his head, flammable maps, and losing the key to his flamethrower which basically makes flammable maps insignificant

7:14 this kinda reminds me of the "meet the scout" where scout is messing with heavy by interrupting his sandvich meal, now it's heavy punching scout with his sandvich meal.

"Added The Damage" God I love how vaguely threatening that feels

4:19 this aged like the finest wine on the market 🍷

Just want to say that I loved this video and you such a good job

6:40 “However, to offset this, there is a 90 second afterburn penalty on engineer death” Snipers that have Darwin’s Danger Shield equipped: I am 4 parallel universes ahead of you.

4:45 "removed the spy from liberty" 😂 the way it's delivered, the way the spy reacts, and the way the bars and jail cell just come form no where is absolutely hilarious. Top shelf!

4:05 man's trying to hold in his laugh

In a way this is the heavy update, indirectly. It absolutely slaughters scout (which can be harder to hit), it massively nerfs Spy by only letting him use the revolver (no more backstabs) and now aiming players no longer output damage, removing Sniper’s headshots. And now Tomislav cries Scouts (which no longer exist) and lunchbox items now have 10% attack (???)

Boss: "Heavy, you're fired." Also Heavy: "So are you, Boss." Also Boss: *"Goddamnit."*

3:31 They forgot to mention the Blue Engineer now builds Red Buildings.

We got it. And it has a seal

We need part 2

6:40 I love how Spy uses his revolver to kill Engie now instead of the knife specifically because the previous fix stated that the class can only use the revolver from now on.

Construction notice ✔hitting buildings fixes and upgrades them ✔30% more firing speed ✔25%less melee damage taken on wearer ❌15%slower movement on deploy ❌25% less damage When worn allows you to do the "pootis spencer" leaving behind a calling card

6:38 I can't believe the greatest detective, jakkid166, plays TF2.

this is genuinely the funniest thing i have seen all year

4:25 as an engineer main this is the exact way I would react

7:22 did anyone else noticed that after the "fixed using scout" the scout is no longer in the mercs selection, amazing detail

I LAUGHED DURING THE WHOLE VIDEO XD, lmao, it has been a while i dont laugh this much, thank you for the video.

Dr Oscid is a genius I’ve watched this vid 5 times in a week and still can’t get enough

3:49 Heavy mains after losing meet your match

At 7:22 you see the attention to detail as there isn’t a scout in the character choosing since the one before that was that scout was “fixed” by not being able to use him

8:19 CEO: Heavy, you're fired...

Is it weird that I kinda want flammable maps so I can re-enact meet the pyro

3:44 the look on soldier’s face It’s made me laugh for 5 minutes

I love how everytime it says "fixed player" they get hit with a wrench

Nicely done. Subbed

MAKE ANOTHER ONE this was absolutely PERFECT

6:40 As an engie main I would love for this to be real. Gives my teammates an incentive to actually help me defend.

4:25 his reaction is just the best

This is the funniest TF2 sfm animation I have ever seen, good work on this.

Flammable/destructive maps would actually be really cool probably would be adding in tf3

Lunchbox items: added 10% attack Hoovy mains: *I Need it!*

5:20 this could actually be a great addition

good god help my sides. i cant stop laughing. god i wish there was more of this. this comedy could be infinite

I loved the "Removed the Spy from Liberty" and it shows Spy appearing in a jail cell.