If Tom Segura Could S* His Own D*, Would He? - Answer the Internet

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If Tom Segura Could S*** His Own D***, Would He? - Answer the Internet
Tom Segura makes his long awaited return to Answer the Internet.
Leave your weird, crazy hypotheticals in the comments. We'll feature them on the show.
We've collected the Internet's dumbest questions over the last 9 years on our podcast KFC Radio and put Tom Segura to the test.
Get Tickets to Tom's tour at Tomsegura.com
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#AnswerTheInternet #TomSegura

Опубликовано:

26 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 905

@AnswertheInternet 2 года назад

Subscribe and leave a comment who you want to see on the show below! barstool.link/ATI

@BansheeMilk 2 года назад

Ask one of these comedians if they would rather look like the Mona Lisa or have that guy that draws everyone eating Tacos to paint them everyday

@heatherevans2679 2 года назад

Referring to the "would Tom s*** his own d***" question...someone should have asked him if he would spit or swallow? He looks like a swallower to me.

@TyrWesterberg 2 года назад

Please bring Joe Rogan

@shank513 2 года назад

Please bring in Ed Asher or Robert Paul Champagne or Garth Brooks

@hypnotoad28 2 года назад

I'm sure someone else has pointed it out but the question read at 3:56 is different than the question shown on the card. Not worth a reupload at all but ye

@juanairbag 2 года назад

Love him, definitively my favourite japanese comedian.

@ignaciocamacho5564 2 года назад

SEGURAAAA

@darkstar0554 2 года назад

I needed this call back 🤣

@vidennn Год назад

@@ignaciocamacho5564 I read this exactly how he said it.

@negativeindustrial Год назад

SMIIIIIITHHHHH!

@SamuelHill-d9f Год назад

@@ignaciocamacho5564 I was gonna say the same thing SSEEGGURA!!!!

@Arthur-ek7nd 2 года назад

This isn't Tom Segura.... everyone knows the real Tom wears a single glove

@hottsaucekid 2 года назад

Fr kinda upset he wasn't serious about wearing it all the time.

@andrewledford3865 2 года назад

This was surely filmed more than a couple weeks ago....

@FrostyJokerr 2 года назад

Someone keeps it high and tight. Love you Daddy!

@joeyhampton5075 2 года назад

@@andrewledford3865 doubt it.

@slimthickens3981 2 года назад

THAT'S what was missing from this video. His vibe seemed a little off and now I know why

@ddlk9913 2 года назад

"where's Tom?" "He's up in his room blowing himself" I've been telling people for years that Tom is his favorite sauce, and nobody believes me.

@MarwinKellers 2 года назад

Him saying "I'm on tour" on the $25k question makes so much sense. No idea what his margins are after crew, travel, merch and everything, but he is probably getting close to making that a day when he has daily shows and sells our arenas.

@kman9884 2 года назад

And all that sweet passive RU-vid ad money rolling in from YMH, 2B1C, and DDAD. Since he’s in Texas now he’s not getting buttfucked tax-wise so he’s gotta be living good while on tour.

@andresmith7545 2 года назад

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-CQRtLIjxTZw.html ⬆️ Overdosing on fetnyol in Prison 😂 😆 it’s too funny!!

@Spaxcore Год назад

@Quinn Nisbet I highly doubt he's doing half a mil a night. Maybe 100 to 200k tops.

@nathanchildress5596 11 месяцев назад

He said $25K, which is about $9 million a year on tour. Compared to athletes that’s not insane

@stagglee1227 2 года назад

Sometimes I think we forget that Tom's a goddamn sociopath...

@mikepryor7467 2 года назад

i celebrate it

@kristiskinner8542 2 года назад

A mommy should never do that, def not proto

@BasilHagens 2 года назад

Yeah he says he’d kill baby hitler but then says he wouldn’t end world hunger because he likes pain and suffering Therefore He only wants to kill baby hitler for the thrill

@justinwatson6932 2 года назад

@@BasilHagens nah ya dingus he said he wouldn't take any amount of money over ending world hunger....however he would def love to kill a baby....complicated dude

@decadefacade 2 года назад

right?

@hunternaquin9064 2 года назад

Saw Tom at the rogan and chapelle comedy show and he was easily the best that night

@bobbyfreebandz1732 2 года назад

that NOLA show was WILD!

@Operation3Sixty 2 года назад

Well Rogan isn't much competition 😂😂

@Real_Iceout 2 года назад

Not too surprising tbh. That’s definitely saying something though! When was this?

@Christopher-md7tf 2 года назад

I mean yeah, one of those other two guys exclusively talks about chimps eating elk meat in an infrared sauna and the other's still butthurt over being called a transphobe

@Operation3Sixty 2 года назад

@@Christopher-md7tf You really think Dave gives any fks about that?

@CarMad97ci 2 года назад

“What are you going to do, fight the internet?” Indeed Tom, indeed 😂😂 #undefeated

@navtektv 2 года назад

I like that Tom stretched that disabled kids question out to sound as offensive as he could.

@notbadforanoob8725 2 года назад

What was offensive about it?

@sgtJA 2 года назад

3:56 he’s answering a different question than the screen is showing. Rookie editing, lads.

@mrjefflive 2 года назад

terrible green screen setup too lol

@UncommonLtd. 2 года назад

I was like wtf..

@treefiddytwoo 2 года назад

y'all expect too much of Barstool 🤣

@notoriousnite 2 года назад

Ikr lol I saw that too

@ishoboi8021 2 года назад

LOL. also at 8:55 it sounds like the camera guy is about to pass out. Its like some call of duty flashbang type beat.

@nickolson9131 2 года назад

"Well, a lot of spit" had me dying.

@corey5770 2 года назад

With him wearing that Micheal Myers outfit just reminds me how much of a psycho Tom really is

@DemoDick1 2 года назад

That shirt is the last thing you see before the screaming begins.

@rolldemtrees7419 2 года назад

Psycho??

@rolldemtrees7419 2 года назад

He's clever

@alow4012 2 года назад

I could watch this for hours. Tom has such a great personality for this show. I love all his stuff

@dcthereal1 2 года назад

Good to see Tom is following Proto. He won't be touching anyone's camera through the fence

@joshkunua8368 2 года назад

What?

@AlfredSoul 2 года назад

You're fired, buddy.

@royceisthebestrapper7686 2 года назад

Gonna go see him next summer, I hear he’s coming up in may!

@dcthereal1 2 года назад

@@royceisthebestrapper7686 that's spring, you must be tok'd

@Maazitung 2 года назад

@@joshkunua8368 Here, let me explain it to you: 👖👖👖👖👖👖

@BodybuildingJourneys 2 года назад

I haven't laughed out loud this hard in months. Cured my morning depression.

@jedaaa 2 года назад

Seriously mate, binging comedy on YT has got me through years of depression haha, keep it up

@bl6ine351 2 года назад

When he said “people not being able to get health care, it’s great” I lost it🤣🤣😭

@MSUParker 2 года назад

I'm dead serious I literally just got off the phone with my grandma so that HJ question had me shook lol

@sluggy1739 2 года назад

well which do you choose

@jcarson3721 2 года назад

Were you having the same conversation?

@larryhoover2541 2 года назад

The only way this is even remotely weird is if you were both discussing BJ's

@samfc23 2 года назад

so the real question is would you rather have 2 normal kids or be the father of patrick mahomes?

@GC-yw1mn 2 года назад

LOLOLOL

@micahwest2793 2 года назад

Points 😂

@Jkizzle4996 2 года назад

The real challenging question would be you get to have Jackson as well as patrick

@zeekot4064 2 года назад

😂😂😂

@1Maverick2 2 года назад

Who gives a shit about Mahomes' trash ass lol. Shoulda said Brady.

@connorvincent6287 Год назад

This guy is one of the most effortlessly funny people I’ve ever listened to.

@WickensWickedReptiles 2 года назад

totally agree with Tom's D essing strategy

@hi_tech_reptiles 2 года назад

Bro I see you in the weirdest places lol. Looks like we have more than 1 interest in common (comedy, not self-sucking)

@WickensWickedReptiles 2 года назад

@@hi_tech_reptiles hahaha! Ehhh Keep em high n tight mommy!

@PissRat69 2 года назад

Watching one of your videos on my tv and this on my iPhone right now shit is wild

@MiguelCruz-hh9vm 2 года назад

I am legit so happy you are a mommy! Keep up the great content!

@tyler35tpb50 2 года назад

Love your videos

@TheRockhopper77 2 года назад

I love whenever you bring tim sogera on, him and brit krunchler are the best

@TylerTakacsIsAwesome 2 года назад

Uh...its bert kershner* 🤪

@Trailer__Swift 2 года назад

And it’s Tom Segura…his name is RIGHT THERE 😓 🤦🏼‍♂️

@Poastie 2 года назад

@@Trailer__Swift yeah it's not that heard to spell ten suhurha

@cameronmcgrady227 2 года назад

Barf kersler*

@Outdatedmoviereviews 2 года назад

Barts my favourite

@gavinohlhauser1258 2 года назад

Have on Brett Krishna, I hear they do a podcast together

@vafixer8885 2 года назад

I really love Brent

@ralphh428 2 года назад

Bruce!

@laundryprovider1119 2 года назад

Bart Kristals is my 12th favourite comedian!

@sethrizzke 2 года назад

@@apaaaa your last sentence is precisely correct

@nicdundas 2 года назад

Bro, it's like he's a comedian or something

@ALLTimeGamerTroll 2 года назад

He definetly should be! What does he do?

@nicdundas 2 года назад

@@ALLTimeGamerTroll check out Your Mom's House on RU-vid!

@ALLTimeGamerTroll 2 года назад

@@nicdundas i was Just fucking with you bro 😂im a big fan haha

@nicdundas 2 года назад

@@ALLTimeGamerTroll had to keep it high and tight!

@michaelwootan 2 года назад

Watch out for Waspis!!!

@kennypowers3654 2 года назад

They'll sting ya!!!

@nicholassmith3341 2 года назад

Tom is super friendly; he ate at my work once (I work at a restaurant), and I said, " oh, you look like this comedian I like," and he was like, "yeah, that's me", and I was. Like "wait tom?"

@rubino8989 2 года назад

The laugh in the room after the self BJ visual was perfect 👌

@dylanwarren3098 2 года назад

This video turned me into a teleidoscope.

@boscoblack 2 года назад

I've seen Joey Diaz and Jim Jefferies live, now I just need to see Tom, Burr and Jim Norton

@rams812 2 года назад

This ish made my jeans high&tight. Keep bringing Tommy Bunz on, because that's following proto 🤘 keep featherin it people🔥

@anthonymadril1210 2 года назад

"Lot of spit" 😆😆🤣🤣😆😆🤣🤣

@sahillsekhon3 2 года назад

Definitely the best guest behind Theo von

@kristiskinner8542 2 года назад

Before Theo, Tom is always before Theo

@Riomojo 2 года назад

LOL I DIED at 2:24 when he looked at the back of the card as if the Devil’s signature would be there

@Riclmnopp 2 года назад

Touch my camera through the fence..

@chadjolet1 Год назад

The best one y’all have done hands down

@slimesizecounts5873 2 года назад

Tom the type of guy the get a taste for stoning people and wouldn’t be able to stop. And if he did he would have a % of his population tortured in front of him for entertainment or just recorded for later.

@lordtachanka80 2 года назад

Hell yeah we needed this!

@MrNicvdb 2 года назад

3:58 the overlay doesn't match the question Tom is reading.

@mariahjuliette9324 Год назад

To know Tom Segura sneezes at bright lights makes me feel better about my sneezing at bright lights lol

@CarlosMontesBby 2 года назад

Hearing him talk about that tour money is really making me want to try to suck at stand up for a couple years🤫

@erikch5752 2 года назад

The world needs more comedy 🤙

@CarlosMontesBby 2 года назад

@@erikch5752 indeed it does

@kevinb4038 2 года назад

Tim Butterly and Mike Rainey . Get this Dad Meat on the show

@TerribleTeamate 2 года назад

Best guest yet

@Trogglogg 2 года назад

Why isn't Tommy Bunz wearing his glove?

@bjk0norway0bjk 2 года назад

Cuz the pods are on a huge backlog

@RobbieFitzgerald 2 года назад

"So I gotta walk around with little dick feet?!?!" Legitimately spit out my coffee.

@peterconley5533 2 года назад

Tom "A lot of spit" Segura

@richrichy2961 2 года назад

@6:22 “I tried when I was a kid” 🥺

@MrWesd93 2 года назад

My dad has that photosensitive sneezing or whatever Tom was talking about... I don't... I'm so jealous... I have to sneeze and then it goes away, he has to sneeze and looks at a light bammo

@agb127 2 года назад

I have it too and nobody I ever told had it

@kawffeytheinkredible3295 2 года назад

When he said, “A Lotta spit…” 🤣🤣🤣

@exzisd 2 года назад

Tom always makes me laugh. Wonderfully terrible person & great comic.

@pablorios1041 2 года назад

2min in and im DIYING LAUGING LMAOOOOOO

@brandonmartin08 2 года назад

That’s where it spits

@chrisb7767 2 года назад

I mean, a lot of spit .... Lmaoo

@MERKINMERICAN 2 года назад

What

@XenoTravis 2 года назад

The crew was sucking up hard to Tom. So weird they started talking more

@SevenLifee 2 года назад

They go annoying af lmao

@mteokay1246 2 года назад

They're getting turned on by the visuals, the pervs!

@cheezin2610 2 года назад

The North Korea answer is exactly how I thought lmao

@DumbassCanadianGuy 2 года назад

So the basketball accident was a cover story, Tom was really trying to blow himself.

@josef2012 2 года назад

I love the stumbling around which year 5 years ago was 🤣

@yes3858 2 года назад

I heard tit and Tom in same sentence... subbed

@mediumfast 2 года назад

My friend once asked me what I'd do if I had a real portal gun, and I told him I'd use it to blow myself. I mean come on, who wouldn't? XD

@ROFO79 2 года назад

If Tom was Kim he’d make everyone laugh at Christina’s jokes under threat of scrum eating

@ethancosta305 2 года назад

i already knew he was gonna say yes lmao

@BradVicious 2 года назад

The answer is yes. Yes he would

@AnswertheInternet 2 года назад

😂

@zachg9321 2 года назад

Tommy boy stoned as fuck right here lol

@DRlFTIN 2 года назад

The production of this web series is an embarrassment to Barstool

@82PeRK 2 года назад

3:08 Holy sht. So im not a freak. I thought i was thee only one that sneezes when light hit my eyes. It does happen everytime but usually on morning.

@AvatarGoku12 2 года назад

Best ever period.

@DevilsAvocado69 2 года назад

Perfect guy for this

@matthewlloyd3651 2 года назад

Watching Segura talk to mystery people off camera is meh.

@stampede4107 2 года назад

Mystery people who aren’t funny and talk a lot.

@ygkemosabi8280 2 года назад

@@stampede4107 sometimes they help like with explaining the feet are now small, but they overdue it with thinking they are cool kids

@kombatchief Год назад

4:05 You can literally just buy one if you save the money

@janpavel1441 2 года назад

Tom is the kind of person who isn't satisfied with him succeeding, others must fail too.

@morgankuphal3417 2 года назад

These would be great questions for PKA

@bonkerzhuntsdemons7993 2 года назад

I would not kill baby hitler because of the butterfly effect. You don know what would happen because you did that man. One thing about going back in time you can't fuck wit it.

@chadgrov 2 года назад

60 million people died in WW2 because of that meth head. I think we can chance it

@bonkerzhuntsdemons7993 2 года назад

@@chadgrov i know im jus saying.

@iambiggus 2 года назад

Yeah... see the thing with changing history through time travel is the near impossibility to imagine the worst that could happen, so it's a dice roll. But, Hitler was already one of the worst thing that could happen, so any bookie would tell you to roll the f'ing dice.

@bonkerzhuntsdemons7993 2 года назад

@UCe4q3sdtF81BDm4WT_z3TAA what if more people died because that man. I understand what he did was so wrong but time is not to be fucked with.

@bonkerzhuntsdemons7993 2 года назад

@@iambiggus well if someone does it we'll see.

@christopherfletcher5384 2 года назад

2:46. Imagine walking around 24-7 with a permanent O face😁

@joehenry9546 2 года назад

Those questions were hilarious

@GarageHobbit 2 года назад

Had to pause because I was laughing too hard to finish my bowl💨🤣

@misterwiakers9292 2 года назад

Omg this video lol so messed up but funny at the same time

@NK-wy8wp 2 года назад

Amazing

@dennis_duran 2 года назад

Actually good question cards unlike every other knockoff game of this type.

@dkacz0512 2 года назад

So I know he's not a Comedian, but I would love to see Patty the Baddy take a run at these questions 😂

@GuinessHangover 2 года назад

3:57, we all know he's describing Burnt Chrysler here, let's be honest.

@afmatix 2 года назад

Bruce Kreisler *

@GuinessHangover 2 года назад

@@afmatix That's what I said, Brent Krishner.

@bretdupuis1971 2 года назад

Tom Segura looks like the badguy in Harry and the Henderson

@SPEW2020 2 года назад

So god damn funny that John has a 15 second outro for a wildly popular channel and he cant even get that right. Perfect KFC radio attitude. Fuck it, close enough

@ilikemyowncomments9065 2 года назад

Feeling like you gonna sneeze, and not actually sneezing is maybe the worst feeling ever. Feeling like you got a log in the chamber, but not releasing would be horrific. Feeling like your going to climax is probably the best part. Just as long as you don't have to deal with the dissatisfaction of never getting off.

@stop.juststop 2 года назад

My dissatisfaction happens immediately after I get off.

@ericthorpe5670 2 года назад

What a stupid question. If I could, I'd never leave the house.

@mattygschannel 2 года назад

I feel that light induced sneezing, I'm the only person at my work and the other guys just dont understand when ever I walk out of the shop and sneeze almost everytime