If You Have Ever Been GHOSTED You Need to WATCH THIS | Marisa Peer 

Women ghost as well. It’s not just a man thing.

@huskymomma444 Yes. It can go both ways. Personally, I would be considerate enough to tell the man something..not just completely disappear.

Bob had children with beyond Rita.

That wasn’t my experience. Speak for yourself

That’s true i have been ghosting twice 😢😢😢I feel so sad 😞 he chose for 3rd party 😊

​@@TCArtStudio If that person was toxic it was your mistake to stay in that person's life and make fall in love You have a problem with yourself

First love for both. He 18 me 17. After high school..For a year my job was to stay home save money . Eventually after his two-year term in the military, he would come home and we would make plans for our future together. I would work while he attended college. At that time girls would collect things for their future home life in what was called a "hope chest".. included in the things I was collecting was a little packet of things he had from when he was a baby intended for perhaps one of our future children. I was the dutiful fiance who helped him get through the military. Lots of letters. But once he got home he didn't come to see me for a week. Neither of us had a car but we lived in the same town. I knew something wasn't right. We had to attend a wedding together So I called him to make sure that that was still on. I told myself it was because he was busy working. He said he had to work a temporary job but would call so we could Be together . He didn't call and in those days women didn't call men. Finally after two weeks I got worried called his mother and she said he had moved to attend college in another town close by. Thank goodness Just the weekend before my parents saw him with another woman or a girl. So I was a little prepared but not truly. My heart physically hurt. My pride kept me from asking his mother anymore questions, such as when did he enroll in that college. He was supposed to go to the city college. But I had pride. Being a stoic I kept it inside and didn't share with anyone else. Didn't share with my family but did with a couple of friends. I shut my emotions down. Put on a facade of happiness and friendliness but inside I was dying. I was only 20 and knew that life had much to offer and though I didn't want to live I wasn't about to take my life. I kept myself busy with family activities and work. One night after I hadn't heard from him for 2 months He called me and the night I could tell they've been drinking He was complaining about a lonely he was. He didn't say he missed me and I certainly didn't sayed I missed him. I told him I had to go and hung up the phone. I bundled up his letters and pictures and things from his babyhood and lock them away in a trunk. I gave my "hope chest' away but kept the things to use when I got my own apartment. I was too hurt to date anyone and made no plans for future relationship. Time is our feiend. Men found me attractive and I started saying yes to dating. It was another 5 years before I was able to give my heart away again. I married and I divorced I had two children but life was good. I looked back upon that first love relationship and all those plans and it didn't hurt anymore I was able to see it for what it was and that was two young people who grew apart. I still held reverence for that first love though. Because it's something very special . We were so in love that when we slow dance we didn't realize the music had stopped. Our friends used to laugh at us. I wish I would have never seen him again but but a friend decided to investigate to see what happened to him. He had married twice before and was divorced at the same point in time that I was divorced. Even though we were in our 40s she contacted him and he agreed to meet me but I had no idea that it was going to happen. If I had known I would have told her no. The secret plan..the meeting was devastating. When I saw him I had to sit down. We went on a few dates but thank goodness he was moving out of town. When he left he said since we lived within a day's drive that we should get together because he said he felt love for me exactly the way it was when we first met that he still love me. He said he'd wasted time and other relationships made the worst mistake of his life. I felt the same way. But he never called me again. I had his phone number and I called him just to see what was going on in a subtle way and he was friendly but there was no talk of reuniting feelings of love that seemed to have ended. At least this time I had the courage to call. But again in a slightly different way felt ghosted. I didn't even know what that term meant until recently. I still have that box with his baby things and all of his love letters It's a big box He wrote a lot. We're both in our '80s. I think he's still alive but I don't know for sure. I never remarried and never dated after that experience the second time. Some of us just feel pain too deeply to ever venture there again. But my life really didn't begin until I had my children anyway. So I didn't go through life pining away for relationship that wasn't meant to be. I was very busy working and raising children being a single mother and had the best life I could ever have. They tell us to be thankful for things that didn't happen I think there's even a song written about it. And I'm very thankful that that didn't happen especially the second time. I don't know what to do with that box of stuff. It's a part of somebody's life. Do I bury it? Do I have it sent back to him? Why would I send it back to him? Because it's a part of somebody. It's pointed years of a young man in the military and things that he might cherish that we're from his babyhood. They mean nothing to me. It's a crazy question to ask isn't it? But I'm making plans for the end of my life and for some reason I can't bear the thought of someone taking that box and throwing it in the trash. Maybe I should give it to one of my granddaughters. Let her take care of it She showed an interest. His letter spoke a lot of Vietnam. A lot of his feelings. He wasn't in combat because he was in the Navy. Ironically he and his second wife adopted a Vietnamese child. So why did he ghost me? I think he truly loved me but he was an alcoholic and I didn't know that. He told me that at our second meeting but I didn't really know much about alcoholism. He said he was going through the program and it was at the stage where he needed to make amends. The problem was he should have made amends and walked away instead of getting involved but I think it was too much for both of us. The moral to the story is, don't ever let anyone surprise you by bringing you together with your first love and years later in your life. It can be very painful and it was for me. I know he will say his alcoholism made him that way but the way he handled it wasn't just alcoholism it was cruelty. I was a very sweet and innocent girl. Someone who could easily be hurt. He must have had something deep within his life whereby he needed to hurt me. I never did anything to hurt him at least overtly. We didn't have physical relations when we were young because it was the thing to do to wait until you were married back then. Within a year so that change considerably, of course. But he never seemed annoyed with me that I didn't want to share physically until we were married. He admired me for it. So I don't really know what made him want to hurt me in such a terrible way.... Especially the second time. Today, I think romantic love is lovely. I don't caution my granddaughters to avoid it but I do tell him to, if they can, wait until they're older to give their heart away. When you have some maturity you can be stronger. Sometimes when I hear an old song or pick up a scent of carnations my heart still hurts just a little bit. It actually physically hurts. Because when you get older you start dreaming about people you knew and you were younger, sometimes I dream about him and wake up feeling okay but I will never want to see him again that would be a very bad thing. If you were me what would you do with that small box?

It does traumatise the ghostee

100%

well, if done for the wrong reason yes, but some people need to piss off our life

​@@r0ck3r4ever Then tell them to piss off. I didn't need to piss off. I was kind and nice and communicative and he never said one harsh word to me (we never fought once) he just ghosted. It was one of the most traumatic experiences I've ever had. I wouldn't wish it on anyone

​@@creatureofstyle If these people are so unbearable you don't even owe them an explanation, they need to piss off and never return. The message is clear and obvious, it's definitive and nothing can change things. It's that simple, if you got ghosted you should get the message and never try to even think about them, it's their life, they want you out of their life and that's it, silence is golden. Yeah, you cannot learn anything from the experience other than that people sometimes get sick with other's presence in one's life and that's fine. The world is huge, there are other opportunities in life and you don't need to be stuck at such an event. In the greater scheme of things this is just a minor event.

Can relate 😢 was dating for 3 years and he ghosted me.

3 years?! I would die. This is what I feared about the guy I was seeing but I only saw him for 3 months. That's such a bad person. He faked intimacy.

My dad was married to my mother for 30 years and he ghosted her... 30 years and 3 kids. So, at least you didn't have children. People who ghost are unhealthy, hurt, and weak. Be grateful they walked away. The good news is my mom met the love of her life a few years later and remarried the right guy. I think ghosting is a blessing... be grateful.

A guy I have invested so much time and effort on for 4 months has ghosted me 3 weeks ago, he's been consistently texting and calling me for 4 months, told me how much he liked me and I fell for him too but all of a sudden I have no idea why or what happened. The worst thing is he knew I was also going through crisis in my personal life as my grandfather is very ill and I also had a very important exam coming up he knew all of it yet chose to ghost me 2 weeks before my exam and I was totally distraught and couldn't even concentrate on anything I had so much anxiety and stress and still I'm in the same situation. I know what I went through is nothing what you went through , I can't even imagine what you went through. I'm sorry that this happened to you.

So sorry this happened to you

🙌🏻🙌🏻😢

Stay strong 💪 I was ghosted by someone I dated only a month just few weeks ago..can’t imagine the hurt you’re feeling 😔 hugs to you. Like my mom says Get Better not Bitter 💕

@@ashley9776 💛🙏

@@ashley9776 thank you Ashley, God bless! ❤️

My partner of 13 years bought a home and announced he was moving on. He was a narcissist. I was shocked but not surprised. Been healing 2 years now.

@@MsPeppersmomhe certainly didn’t deserve you! Showering your healing journey with love and blessings. You are not alone. ❤️

Do you mind sharing what were his reasons for ghosting?

Well done. It takes strength.

did he ever come back ? and how long did it take him to come back the the times he ghosted you? was it after a couple weeks, months?

@@alexandrapomeroy8050 best thing to do and I did the same, time after time that I forgive him, this time I told him I don’t want him back in my life, not even to be my friend. Now he beg but my feelings for him all dried out.

I hope you are better now; but God will remove the wrong one, so that the right one can find you.

The most profound statement in this video that applies to healing from any type of experience/trauma

Been dating for 2 months and he ghosted me after sleeping with me last week I thought he was the one I felt so alone and sick to my stomach I did text him back saying have i done something wrong it's so awful I try to get my self back together again x

​Very painful ppl who behave that way are not healthy and that's not your fault. I'm hurting atm, different situation but i will try to distract myself and keep it moving and in between I cry. It's draining but it will fade day by day they will fade from our system. Hurts to say this bc I care about him but it's true. Best wishes for you ❤

@@LorraineDobie You absolutely will get your self together! You’re sincere and ready for a committed relationship! ✅ His loss!

@@AchillesRage501 totally agree.

Amen

Hurts badly. Happened to me in January, and I think I’m still in shock. Good luck to you💛🙏

Sherry you are not alone. It happened to me last year and i moved on with a man way way better for me. I will never find out why I got ghosted knowing his last message was about how much I meant to him and how important I was to him. Maybe he was sincere, maybe he was lying; doesn't matter now. He is weak and he is a coward. Thanks to him, I got the chance to find someone better.

How have you been getting through it?

Omg my story is the exact same. Unbelievable chemistry then ghost 👻

Did they ever reach out or reply to you?

God bless you girl.. ❤

Stay strong 🙏🏻

Get out there date.and when he comes back be extremely cold and say -i thought you died. Then he will know how it feels

Same thing happened to me 😢

I’m so very sorry you’re going through this especially after such a long relationship. You are deserving of better. Go out there and find better 😉!

I feel the same way!!

You are so wonderful darling I hope you feel better soon

Same thing happened, after 7 years

@@Inmyownlane808 hope you are doing okay 💕 it’s been 6 months for me. He texted me almost 1 month to the day of the ghosting. I told him it was unnecessary and not to reach out to me again. I still think of him often. But I am doing fine on my own

So true!!!😂😊

Well said

Amen and not all men are like this..i guess de they are in the manipulative spectrum. I have to not beat mysekf up falling for his words. I tell myself I'm sweet, kind and reliable and pretty. I don't feel like it always but in between pain this flow came up to build myself up. Then it hits me again...he is probably gone. Perspective looking for wars to meet and 4 months he consistently told me we will surely meet and build from there ( he is abroad atm, lives near my city ) so it hurts extra bc I thooght it could be finally genuine connection towards love. Meanwhile I'm still hopijg to see his message. It takes time to getting used to the silence and forget.

Edit sorry for the typo's in my comment. I'm having a keyboard issue and when I correct them yt is not saving them for some reason.

I wished you had a anonmynous 1-800 number🌊🏵️🙏💌😶‍🌫️

Appreciate your honesty. ❤thnk u. I was ghosted for saying the truth.

Exactly. Communicating is best.

It does hurt very painful

I'm still trying to handle that person that ghosted me is still painful but I'm a survivor

when they come like nothing happened it's even worse haha ))

Release any negative beliefs that may be holding you back here bit.ly/3ZRKry0 Regards, Team Marisa

I agree with you ❤️ I love my sp still I don’t understand what caused him to but I forgive him and wish to help him heal I don’t know if it was my subconscious or his that caused it but like you said compassion :)

I used to think that. I gave my “ex@ the benefit of the doubt time after time because I could tell he had been let down by people in the past. It was obvious…. No matter what I did, he carried on disappearing and coming back over and over until I had no self confidence left. I felt like his whipping girl. A grown person knows what they are doing. They have enough self awareness to deal with whatever issues they are facing before getting involved in a relationship. If you are in a place in your life where know you have the potential to hurt someone, leave them alone in the first place.

@@msmilano7091 true. It happened to me. Got ghosted. I acted with compassion and at same time i stopped contacting him because i had to protect my self too. I went through the hurt alone and did not seek his attention

@zacharystony I ashamedly did this to my childhood best friend in my early twenties. I deeply regret it. The truth was if I had just communicated and had an honest conversation about my insecurity when new friends appeared, it would have been better. Note that it was me and my problem and my sensitivity that led to my action. Roll on years later, I have been ghosted by someone I was dating. The pain was so gut wrenchingly unbearable, it's not as bad now .... but it's left me questioning my self worth, confidence etc etc. Karma came back around over a decade later. I realise now the type of pain I inflicted by ghosting my friend. She did reach out years later and we re-connected but it wasn't the same and even then she never asked why and I avoided talking to her about it. I really wish I had explained to her the reason why ☹️

Hello, thanks for reaching out and sending your love. We're so glad you have found Marisa and RTT 🌺 We would like to offer you Marisa's free 'I Am Enough' meditation, which you can find here: bit.ly/free-meditation-iae-fb Hope you enjoy ❤️ Marisa Peer Team

❤️ It's important to surround yourself with positivity and people who appreciate and support you for who you are. Remember, your worth is not defined by anyone else. Keep shining and embracing your journey to recovery and self-love! 🌟❤️💕

Just going through this after 2 years and blended our 3 kids each (6 kids!) and moved in together and was in pre marital therapy ready to get married! He just moved out out no nowhere abandoned and ghosted me!

Omg that's despicable! I'm so very sorry u had to go through that!

Did he ever message again or show up after?

It's called "going no-contact" which is different from ghosting as long as you tell them that it's over for good.

@@Mossy-Rockyou’re right tell them it’s over for good and move on

Thank you for sharing darling it warms my heart

Sending you lots of love 💖 Marisa Peer Team

it's so sad.

Be strong and grow your personal development. You will get worthy friendships for sure. 💖 Marisa Peer Team

Thank you for watching and leaving a comment. Regards, Team Marisa

I was ghosted because i told the truth. Refused to lay there listening to the cuss words and the constant humiliation. Is that my fault too?

@@rose7777 that’s a question you need to ask yourself. My point was that it could be about either side. Every situation is different.

@@Candypack1 its the best decision i made to quit. And i blockd him in every way possible. What goes around comes back around. Karma will serve him.

Yes it's terrible!!! I just don't understand why he didn't say anything and just quit talking to me!! We we're doing great. I'm so confused but will not chase him. I did text him three days ago and said we had a great weekend how are you? Nothing back

It's essential to maintain healthy boundaries and protect your well-being. Regards, Team Marisa

I had to ghost someone a year ago. She was disrespectful , unapproachable, and unreasonable. Some might argue that she was narcissistic. It was really dragging on my mental health. So I went no contact and I feel like it was truly the only way to handle the situation.

This is called "going no-contact" which is quite different than ghosting as long as you tell them why you are doing what you are doing.

it's not healthy to ghost people. You can leave bad relationships but at least communicate.

Very very sad . I wish god guide him to end this horrible attitude

You're so welcome