in love with the thought of someone. 

“It’s okay to feel sad after making the right decision” I love that!

"You are not in love, you are in love with the idea of love" - don't remember when I found this quote

"We fall in love with the idea of who they are rather than actually who they are". Guilty of this. Every single time.

I fell in love with a girl- it was a feeling I’d never really felt before.. except once I moved on I realized I barely knew her. I had fallen in love with the idea of her, made up this whole backstory for her life and everything. It hurts knowing that there was never anything there. I didn’t love her for her, only for the image I’d made her out to be.

my entire life is based off ideas- i'm always in my head and imagining things. and i'm scared i will only ever be able to love the idea of someone. so everytime i love someone- i can't decide if i really love them or not.

"People tell us who they are but we ignore it because we want them to be who we want them to be." - Mad Men

Wow, I literally prayed about this very thing this morning. I thought I was in love with this person, but really I just had a dream of what I wanted my life to look like and from the start of the relationship I've been forcing him to fit into that dream. I was so disappointed for so many reasons, but then I realized the disappointment was my fault. He was never the man that I made him up to be in my head. Why do we do this, why is love so complicated, why did God design our hearts and minds to be so complex. I'm still trying to move on from the illusion of the man I was in love with. My mind knows the truth, but my heart is still trying to catch up. Please pray for me.

was in love with the thought of someone, grew to love who they actually were even more

For highschoolers out there when you learn the Great Gatsby: this is also the type of love that Gatsby had for Daisy. The idea of her still exists in him even after they part, so he kept longing for her and living in the “reality” that his mind created for their love. :)

I felt like this towards someone in a point of my life. I thought I was "in love" with them, and then I really got to know them as a person. And they weren't the person I thought they were at all. You can't love someone you don't really know

bro this is so good. I like the final sentence: "It’s always best to move on from JUST THE IDEA of loving someone". We should love them in a REAL way.

just a reminder to anybody If you're frustrated, confused or tired of making decisions; not knowing what to believe or what you should even think Out of all the lies that lie in front, God is the truth dealer. may the holy spirit be with you.

i have a friend that i somehow can’t let go. it was recently when i found out that i actually got attached to the memories we made and not her :’) it’s sad really. it’s like you want to end a toxic relationship but you’re blinded by the love you feel. i got so attached man :// i keep rethinking ab how she made me feel happy whenever i try to let go.

a guy friend of mine confessed he have feelings for me. weeks passed by, i was thinking maybe i was feeling the same way too. later on, i have realized i'm just inlove with the thought of him/someone being in my side rather than me, being truly inlove with him - "i love the idea of someone being there for me but sadly, i'm not inlove with him". i didn't jump to the relationships because i don't wanna be unfair to him, he's too good for it. i just hope he knows that i did that not just for myself but most importantly, for him too.

I am in love with the false illusion of who I think I'll be in 10 years, problem is it makes me dislike my current self.

I am not ready for love, I am afraid of love. I used to be in a relationship with a nice guy, he gave me his everything but I realized I didn't have feelings for him. I broke up with him, and the his reaction haunts me forever. I don't think I will ever forgive myself and move on from this. I fear that I will be the one who breaks other people's heart.

The idea of loving someone might turn into a reality if you are patient. Just give God space and time so He can allow someone in your life to love🙌🏽

"maybe you didn't miss them but just the comfort they brought", that was so so comforting to hear from someone else. I didn't understand why I couldn't get someone out of my head, why I craved their presence but not them as a person, I was aware of how damaging this person was to me and that their treatment of me was not acceptable and yet I wanted them around so much. This helped me to understand those feelings with so much more clarity, like their presence and how they made me feel in certain moments was like a drug that I'm still in withdrawal from.

Dang this has happened to me so many times The worst is when I fall in love with the idea of God, and don’t actually spend time with him Thank you Montell 🙏 EDIT: CONGRATS ON THIS VID REACHING 1 MIL VIEWS MONTELL!!!

everytime i see him smile it makes me feel like im at ease, but it seems like we’re not for each other

I fell in love with someone who didn't even know that I loved him. He wasn't a Christian and I found myself idolizing him and this "idea" of us. I got close to him before the pandemic and even during, and realized I hadn't really gotten to know other guys due to the pandemic and lack of social interaction. However, even through the hard moments, I'm learning to let go of him and this "idea" of us. I also realized I cannot save him and I think that's the hardest part. I can be a light, but I can't save him or make him change his ways to know God. It hurts so much that this broken man I loved, doesn't and may not ever know the overwhelming peace of God.

He always posts such relatable content and at the right time, it's like he's reading my mind, maybe it's God speaking to me through him, idk.

I’m still stuck in ideation and romanticize a relationship with someone who barely gives me the time of day. And when they do, it’s mostly a physical endeavor. I believe I’ll grow stronger and move past this stagnation that seemingly rules my life right now. Time will tell. Update: 3 years later... I found the right person. My person. And we are making plans to get married soon :) I pray that if this was you too, your process would be quicker than mine. But, trust that it will be better one day. Have faith in that, please

Yes, ever since my sister ran away, I’ve been smoking every now and then. But I just need to have an outlet because smoking gives me comfort. Thank you

“Maybe you didn’t miss them but just the comfort that they brought”

It’s crazy how your being used so powerfully by God. I definitely didn’t think anyone could encourage me like this thanks

22 yo dude just teared up cuz it hit a part of my soul that has been trying to quit porn and other bad habits. at times it feels like there nothing better, at times i feel great before and after, at times i go in with excitement and come back numb, at times i don't want to do it, at times i want to stop, at times i need to stop, at times i don't stop, and after all these times, i finally start to see my faults and gather enough will to stop but there's always a that thought in the back of your head that know you'll be back...and that's the thought that gets me no matter how much i try

Oh my gosh, I don't know where this came from, but it showed up in my recommended feed... Just last night I found out from a friend of mine that the guy who promised to marry me (gave me a promise ring and everything) found another girl and has been leading me on. I thought back to how he's been treating me and I realized that he disrespected my family and my boundaries. He used me for a few months and shunned me completely just this past week. I needed this video, thank you so much

one minute of pure truth.. That was deep.

Oh man, that's what I said. I am not love him, I love the idea about him. It's pretty hard to make me stop thinking about someone because I knew when the reality slap me I would love him in the wrong way.

Montell, you have gave me so much inspiration and your just incredible. Your songs are so amazing and i’m obsessed with them. So thank-you for that.

pursuing healthiness will never be comfortable. thank you for this

Once I became a Christian and was born again, I no longer have this feeling of being angry or sad. God saved me and has forgiven me. Over the course of my life I realized that anger and sadness is of Satan. God will forgive you if you forgive.

“ Don’t fall in love with the moment and think you’re in love with the girl “ - The 1975

These videos always come to me at the right time..

Thank you, excellent truth. Sin's promises always proves to be a lie and never bring the satisfaction we think it'll give

I am so in love with one of my best friends. I think she knows, but doesn’t see me that way. I just hope that she at least loves me as a friend. At this point I just want to be her best friend and always be there for her even if we’re not together. If I’m ever sad, just seeing her makes me so happy on the inside. I guess it’s true.... “We fall in love with people we can’t have”

Have you ever felt like you were in love with the thought of someone? Like maybe you didn't miss them but just the comfort that they brought Sometimes we run to things that aren't best for us because they are what's comfortable We find ourselves in loops and never-ending cycles because we fall in love with this idea of who they are rather than actually who they are I saw a tweet that said: "It's okay to feel sad after making the right decision It's the same with a lot of bad addictions or anything, we run to them because it brings us comfort and we are sad when we depart even though its for the better" ...and I see so much truth in that tweet sometimes pursuing healthiness isn't comfortable and its always best to move on from just the idea of loving someone

His voice is everything 😍😍

making me second guess my relationship rn, feels like a loop i will never get out of because what she brings to me just feels so real.

We can paint others in a better light through our own innocence

Loved these videos

this beautiful masterpiece is now 1 year old, beautiful.

Everyone speaks of their love experiences in the meanwhile i don't even understand the sentiment of feeling love to the extent where i don't feel any negative emotions like sadness or sympathy when i see my mother breakdown crying. I simply rationalize the event with a cause or reasons as to why she could be crying but not truly understanding her heart. I feel frustration when people tell me the way love makes them feel, that their heart races in thought of their lover or just by looking at them meanwhile me knowing the fact that there are people like me that are unlucky to be able to experience such emotions. I'm still 17 and young so possibly one day i'll be able to grasp the emotion love, maybe never but what i do know is right from wrong so even when i don't feel the need to help someone who is down or really care for them being down. It is the right thing to do.

Thanks dude. I really needed this right now

he made me feel the best ive ever felt, but also the worst I've ever felt. he used to be perfect then hurt me so bad multiple times. he keeps promising change, and I keep waiting because I do love him I'm just so drained due to the inconsistency. and scared.

"Sometimes pursuing healthiness isn't comfortable." Wow! So much truth in that statement. 😭 But its always for the better...

why is this so true like this a master piece

wow, thank you. I can not describe how one minute helped me to clear my head and move on.

For once I'm not crying because of her... I'm crying because "In reality I'm the one who breaks my heart, not them." - Sunday Ajak. I realize my problem and it's gone on for way too long now. I fell in-love with thee idea and potential of her, I love her company, comfort and, the person she inspires me to be but "You gotta focus on the actions that are right in front of you." - Maya's Mission. I'm obsessed with the IDEA OF BEING IN-LOVE and it’s exhausting. It's gonna take a special person to catch my attention because I need time to heal. I feel like my heart is in pieces and this is the start of putting it back together. "It's always best to move on from just the idea of loving someone." - Montell Fish. I can't find out how to thank you three enough... You guys inspired me and said just what I needed to hear, I'll never forget these words.

thank you!

What's different about montell in other speakers is that his videos are shorter, appealing, and relaxing

So what's the message, should we stop loving the thought of loving someone or should we rather fall in love with the person? Isn't that the same thing anyway? Edit: Great video btw, felt like it came at the right moment 4 me

Congrats on 1 Million Views You deserve it Montell you are a wonderful gift from God

I’ve created my dream girl in my head and I can’t get over the fact that she isn’t real, has this happened to anybody else and how did you cope with it ?

i thought i was in love with him when i knew deep down he wasnt right for me... but he was all i craved so i could never end it with him. that whe he broke my heart but then i realized it was time to learn the difference between loving them and loving who u think they are

word

It's not the person/thing that you love, it's the side of the person/things that you want

the music THE MUSIC

okay my youtube recommended didn’t have to come for me that hard i’m gonna go to sleep y’all this is too much

Thank for Making this video Montell🙏. you just woke me up to think again ! 🤔short yet a very powerful message!

I did not expect to be so called out by my recommendation this badly, but wow this hit close to home

I have a friend who always comes to me when she got problems and I’m always the one carrying the baggage for her. I’m still in this situation because I’m so use to carrying people’s shit. It made me not recognize what was toxic. She is in fact my only friend. All I think about is what should I do if I have nothing to talk about to anyone. I quickly forget that I have my brother. She literally told me that I’m her therapist friends and only comes to me when she a has a problem that she “can’t” fix. Every time I talk to her, I feel this sense of security like at least I have a friend or someone out there knows me. But it is always the same conversation. We only ft and only meet up when she wants a break from her house. We only connect because almost the same shit we through. But she talks about herself all the time and throws in “nice” comments to make it seem not all about her. I feel that I led her on about being friends forever because I’ve told her my dreams but not my morals n values. This video didn’t even have to take 5 mins of taking all the real shit and putting that in my vision. I’ve been wondering what she would feel if I told I don’t wanna be friends anymore. We’ve known each other for 7 or 8 years. There was one time I didn’t talk to her for 2 years or so but I went back because I just thought this could work. It took me a while to realize I’m toxic. I want to change and move on but don’t know how. I just felt like I had to get it out there because I feel alone. Pleas feel free to give me any advice I’m just happy that people are willing to read my story and taking time out of their for this.

This reminds me of Romeo and Juliet, how they loved the idea of love, loved the idea of doing something couldnt, not each other ://

Idk why but I needed this

Loved this man. Great stuff.

Love vs like, one sees with the eyes and the other the heart.

thank you for this man.

Why do these recommended videos want to make me sad one night, happy the next, then goofy, tired, etc. like

You are putting words on what I tried to identifie for 3 years now, thank you 🙃 I can release and let go now

This is exactly what I needed

I needed this right now

Thank you. It happened to me when I had a crush on a boy my age. I daydreamed that he’d be there, gaming with me, asking how my day was, but all I did was wait. Wait until he did what I thought he would. And when he finally showed what type of person he really was. It hurt me like a million times over, but at the same time I felt so free from the agonising hours of waiting, always being the someone to reach out to, and caring so badly of how they feel. But I realised that I was waiting for something that would never even happen in the first place. Thank you. This has brought comfort to me a lot :)

I need to learn about camera you with the city blurred in the back is gorgeous

i love ur thoughts so much, i love the way u think and the way u speak ....thx for sharing

Ooo Montell you did something with this one boy. Truth and fire.

I spend entire days watching these kind of videos.... and nothing makes sense, I'm tired, I'm really done.

in love with the idea of being in love

"Its ok to feel sad after making the right decision" why do feel sad when we make the right and healthy decision for our self? Is it because we feel guilty and that we are letting people down by doing whats best for our selves? Cuz im living a life where i dread waking up every morning. but Im scared to take that first step to the life that I want becuase I know how many people im gonna let down and disappoint and that ruins me. I just dont know what to do and how to do it.

"One minute giving up another minute proud myself"

thank you for making this. it sums it up pretty well. it's exactly what I need to hear, I think.

i just need someone to be there for me.

I left my bf a few weeks ago bc of a few habits he had and I had just gotten clean, he didn't want to stop an nor would he. It ended up hurting me an my friends pushed me to leave him bc they could see he was dragging me back into what I had just gotten out of. I was really regretting my desion until now thanks for the video it really helped.

I think Montell lives in my thoughts, because, literally, every video recommendation from the channel has catered to something on my mind the past couple of days. And this video is 6 months old!!!

i think of her everyday but she doesn’t love me, i had to make a choice to leave her. it was hard and it’s still confusing. i hope i made the right choice. LOVE WILL COME WHEN ITS READY ❤️

this man just straightened my whole life in a minute. Keep creating beautiful videos, love u!❤️

Thank you. I needed this today!

Awe this hit to hard

I ended it. Yes, I'm devastated. But it had to be done. And it was not only the best, but it was the right decision!

I want this to be famous , but at the same time ain’t sharing with anybody...just want to keep it to myself.

This was dope asf bro, spoke to me

reminds me of 500 days of summer

It took me so long to realize I'm unhappy because I made the right decisions. So sold on the idea of shoulds. Fear just on the flip side of hesitance. Surrounded by the abyss of my own doing. No way to know which way is up and which way is drown...drown...drown.

THIS ISNT JUST ABOUT ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

There was a similar conversation in the show "everything sucks" where a girl told her 'boyfriend', that he doesn't actually love her, he loves the idea of her

It's 2:55 am this hits deep

fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely

in reality i'm the one who breaks my heart, not them

“Sometimes pursuing healthiness isn’t comfortable.” Have truer words been spoken?

1 minute of homie scratching his head