Is "Gentle Parenting" Ruining The Next Generation? 

Good one

Damn! Beat me to it!!

And laundry detergent.. 😂

Yes

Lol

That's what my family did. My grandma passed that way down. My sister needed that harder hand while I didn't. She has two that are the same.

Thank you 🙌🙌

That is true. It kinda depends on the child. If I ever become a parent, I personally would do a hybrid parenting style of keeping a close eye on them and gentle parenting because even I needed discipline. I'm not the type to brag about what my mom's chosen weapon was, but I needed correction too.

I believe you’re mixing up permissive and passive, could be wrong though :]

I was coming here to say there’s a misconception between gentle and passive. Gentle doesn’t mean there’s no boundaries, it means we establish them in a gentle way, one where the child learns from connection and safety verses fear.

📝📝📝

I say exactly this!!!

Sad Beige cooper

Dear Erica, I beg to disagree. Your daughter or child is not the center of anyone's world. Not even yours. You might choose to sacrifice your life for her. I understand you can put her first etc. but that does not make her the center of your world and you better not try to make her the center of your world. For her own good. Now I will tell you why. You better not do it, because no matter what you say, your child will get imprinted with how you ACT. If you act as if your child is the center of the world it will learn (at a very deep level) that it is entitled to have all that attention and it will expect to be the center of the world for other people too. That is setting them up for a very rough awakening down the line when they grow up.

@@h0ph1p13 teach it to ya own kids champ, Erica’s gonna be alright. Who wants to bet me that hophip does not have children

I think the main issue is that authoritative parenting got rebranded as gentle parenting and that's why people assume it's the same as permissive parenting

This is why it annoys me when people try to speak on gentle parenting without actually knowing what it is and what the purpose of it is. They just observe people who claim they’re gentle parenting but actually just permissive parenting or even “neutral” parenting (aka hands off and not actually parenting at all) and don’t bother to do actual research. Especially people who don’t even have kids themselves.

@@bleechrcreechrrI’ve moved to calling it conscious or responsive parenting instead because it’s not always “gentle” in the sense that I don’t coddle my kids and talk to them like we’re constantly in a disney movie but I don’t disregard their feelings and I parent them according to their development and with understanding where their minds are coming from. I still hold them accountable and they have discipline, I just don’t hit them, degrade them, dismiss their feelings or gaslight them etc.

⁠​⁠@@94cokegirlThat is probably one of the best explanations I’ve heard. I think those are good names for it too. You’re being “conscious” of your words and the example you’re setting each time you speak to them. I love that!

This is my big fear about having children. Children are being raised to be little monsters nowadays and I worry about how difficult it will be to raise good kids when they're surrounded by such bad influences

Millennial parent here. Our neighborhood is half and half monsters vs kids being raised right. Slowly the kids being raised right are starting to accept that the monsters are monsters and staying away from them. What’s great about our children is that it will be easy for them to shine when compared to the monsters!

Yes I had a 7 yo girl bullying my 3 yo right in front of her mother and her mother did nothing, I told the mother off and left the playground. At first my son thought he was in trouble and was crying we were leaving. I pulled him aside a few feet away and said very loudly, " honey you are not in trouble at all. I will not let that little girl bully you. Her momma is not teaching her how to be kind and I will not let you be around that kind of behavior." He immediately stopped crying and was so proud his momma stood up for him.

it's so hard, my son with autism had agression issues while little, we worked SO hard to get him to the point of where he properly expresses his disappointment and anger and then he's having to defend himself at school from kids physically bullying him. like I told him no hitting for the longest time cuz he'd go berserk but now I have to teach him, well only hit to defend yourself. luckily the school doesn't punish him if he just hits back, cuz if they did it would make it even harder

My 4 year old was at his gym class and this other little 4 year old was getting aggressive and grabbing him by the wrists and shaking him. He said stop, but the kid did not stop until I spoke up. Where was the mom? On the chair behind him on her phone. Next time, I'll ask the instructor how he handles it. If he doesn't then I'm stepping in. I find it difficult when it's the kids in a class, and who is supposed to correct them. Cause I will do it no doubt!! I'm not letting my kids be wild. No gentleness here if they can't be gentle themselves.

As an autistic child, I completely agree. Consistency and boundaries are so key in creating a feeling of safety. Even for neurological children, and all children for that matter, if we do not have consistency or discipline we just feel scared. It is the same as an abusive parent, the unpredictability is what results in the fear of the child.

It's funny that I've seen a few videos by people who claim to be doing gentle parenting but they all only spend their time trying to defend gentle parenting. None of them are saying what it is as an educational video they are just having to constantly defend themselves from from being confused for everything else or from confusion generally and that sounds like a failure of it. First of all gentle parenting seems to be inaccurate because they say that they do discipline the children which doesn't sound very gentle. But it's always confusing what they define as discipline or how they enforce boundaries. They only seem to say that as long as you explained things to a little child that has no rational faculties that child's going to understand and be a good kid and you will never have to discipline them. This sounds great if you have perfect kids that have just that perfect genetic makeup that they are mellow and obedient and not irrational and boundary breakers like most kids. But what really annoys me about dental appearances an example I saw once. one woman was trying to defend her husband by saying she's a gentle parent but her husband's not very good at it and that's all she said She didn't imply that he hits the kids (another problem is they falsely equivocate all terms of discipline together, So they equates spanking with beating the child) nor did she imply that he yells at the kids. He simply wasn't whatever the define as gentle. So most of the comments from the women in the comment section where that he was an abusive father and she needs to take the children away and leave him

AMEN!! Rules, schedules, consistency ECT are crucial for kids. They are literally ensuring their kids do NOT have the skills and tools necessary to succeed in the real world. Succeed in life.

Gentle isnt no boundaries. It just means no violence. Conservatives are so odd

@@Dan16673 what do you define as violence? Is it anything that makes them cry? Because that's not very gentle. Liberals are very odd

I love you. ❤

I’m neurodivergent and as a kid I had very severe behavioural issues. My parents were understanding of my challenges but also strict when it came to discipline. I was the type of kid that needed clear expectations of my behaviour and to know that certain things were unacceptable and lead to bad consequences. My parents are not perfect (no parents are) but I’m responsible enough and have never gone to jail so I think they did a pretty good job! I’m glad that you too raised respectful neurodivergent kids because I know a lot of parents that use their kids disabilities as an excuse for bad behaviour and don’t try to discipline them.

All 3 are disabled? What were you drinking while pregnant?

@@sharkeishatwerks1731 That's rude. Not how it always works

​@sharkeishatwerks1731 dude, my lovely mother who later abandoned us did a boat load of drugs and drinking ans somehow had 6 healthy kids 😑 I knew someone whose wife kept having miscarriages and eventually had a baby that only survived for 4 hours. They did a boat load of tests and realized he had some issues with HIS chromosomes that when trying to have a baby made non viable offspring. Disabilities are conplex

Yes, all of this-I absolutely understand the “carrying my mother’s emotions” problem and I am determined not to do that with my child

My mother use to threaten to buy a gun and end me almost daily. Led me to getting a felony when I was 17 and ruining my life for around 10 years. Now 32, I can’t even imagine having the other side of the spectrum, these monsters have no idea how lucky they have parents not actually trying to end them or hurt them. I literally got the shit knocked out of me for leaving a spoon in the sink.

@@JamesCook76131 At least you have a first hand experience on "how not to be a good parent" so you don't need books or whatever when raising your kids. You just need to remember what your mother did and not do those.

@@JamesCook76131 I'm sorry that happened to you. Most of these kids growing up don't know how good they have it.

@@JamesCook76131See now that right there is actual child abuse….

@@marckid93 oh it gets worse, but yeah I agree. If you have ever seen the movie “mommy dearest” it encapsulates my childhood lol.

This. It drives me crazy how permissive parenting (and sometimes passive parenting) gets mixed up with gentle parenting. When gentle parenting is supposed to actually be authoritative. I would also agree that Brett's mom sounds a lot like a gentle parent! I think people are taking the term "gentle" and running with it do do whatever they want.

which is what destroyed the Boomers. Rent an education

fr, these gen alpha parents can't tell the difference from being gentle from completely enabling their kids on being complete entitled brats. It's gonna be a horrible future for gen Z to handle and tolerate these gen alphas when they enter the workforce.

The use of true gentle parenting can give children a lot more feelings of control over themselves. Ive noticed with my oldest that because we talk to him like a person who just doesn't understand yet and is still learning (a phrase we use often with him) he does the same with other children. When patience is modeled for children its more prevalent in their behavior. Setting up a system to communicate and encouraging them to solve problems on their own also sets them up to feel comfortable trying to handle things and then ask for help when it doesn't work. Permissive parenting does none of this, it ends up with almost opposite results and those kids grow up thinking they can get away with things as long as they cry long enough about it.

@@manda506 "When patience is modeled for children its more prevalent in their behavior" exactly this. So much of gentle parenting is the idea of modelling. Another example is speaking to a child using polite words (please, thank you) because you want that child to use that kind of language with their peers. If children are never shown healthy ways to communicate then they can't model and adopt them for themselves.

It's such a big problem as-is, which is only going to become worse.

Well, it's not gentle parenting, it's passive.

How do you know they’re being gentle parented? My kids have been raised this way (WITH BOUNDARIES) and are mature, responsible kids. I only hear really great things about them from all the teachers and adults in their life.

@@KristenPenn-dh5nd I'm a teacher in Germany. We know the parents and their parenting pretty well. If you found a way to raise your kids to still be responsible, that's great! Most of the times, they tend to have anxiety, because they're overwhelmed with the tiniest things. We as teachers have to be so careful with them, since they're so sensible

I agree. I work with elementary school kids and the amount of times I’ve had to de-escalate a tantrum because the kid didn’t want to do a task is incalculable. Please teach your kids that they have to respect societies rules. They can’t run around and do as they please at every second of the day. Actions have consequences.

this!!!!

Same. My 3 year old says "sorry" a lot but I remind her that if she was truly sorry, she'd learn from her mistakes. Sorry doesn't mean anything if they don't change their ways.

ahhhh i just wanna hope you are a troll because that sounds horrible. i hate parents ;_;

Thank God you had a good father. My childhood was kind of similar. My mom was addicted to substances, bringing johns over that would put her for favors, she was bipolar, and just an awful mother. I used to search drive throughs at night for dropped change to get food for my little brother and I. On the other hand my dad was incredible. He was strict but fair and very loving. He was also very good at teaching me and my siblings skills. I'm very thankful I had such a great father. My only regret is leaving my father's home at 12 to live with my mother. I felt like I had to in order to protect her from the situations she put herself in. I also wanted to protect my brother who lived with her and wasn't my father's son. If it wasn't for my father I would not be here.

Your dad is a legend. All the praise and respect to him

I grew up with one's who had a passive father they grew up to have very little respect, even hit there father. But the one's whose father's who would have hit there kids got more respect,they weren't beating them to an inch of their lives but they were hit.I've been hit more than once and by my mother it didn't hurt but I still got it.

@@niroshanaperera7330 No you're wrong I had a loving mother an absent father.My mother had too work all her life to keep food in my belly and clothes on my back.she went into debt every year for birthday's and Christmas I don't have words to explain how much respect and love I had for her. She brought me up in the 70s 80s and 90s during a civil war we call the trouble's here it takes a lot to keep you're son out of jail and out of paramilitaries.You might say you should never hit you're child but if she hadn't I would have been wild she done what she had to do.Dont worry by the time a boy reaches puberty his mother can't physically heart him.

You have the right idea, different styles work for different kids. Some need some physical discipline and others need it less.

in general, boys and girls are different exactly in the way you described. This does not mean boys more unruly, they just respond to different methods of asserting boundaries. Boys are more physical, they need more movement than girls, they learn better through being outside and being active, and care much less about words. Not that it isn't still important to communicate with them (it's crucial, of course), but they are not going be convinced to do what is appropriate because of a cute speech, you need to put things in more practical terms. And this is not bad, just different.

I have the same issue with my two daughters. Oldest is super easy going, listens, respectful etc. like model child. Her little sister, 😮‍💨 just like your son. She’s a piece of work and requires way more discipline. Still a good kid though, she’s just a lot to deal with sometimes

yeah, it has been proved: It is always the second child 🥲@@austyn5004

@@MsInescruz it's usually more so the difference between first borns and second borns than it is between boys and girls at that age. Like when people have only daughters or only sons, you'll still get a similar split. It's not until they go to daycare or grade school where they'll start developing habits and behaviors among their peers.

Amen. the minute my kid starts throwing a fit, I do the sprint of shame and do the "tantrum carry" which is kind of a modified fireman's carry. I'm autistic/Adhd and i didn't know until I had my girl. If I had, I would have prepared better for her and taken classes or something. But doing this coaxing thing that this other mother does wouldn't work well for either of us--she gets overwhelmed, then I get overwhelmed and either become aggressive (not physically, mind you, just short-tempered and verbally snappy) or shut down completely because I have a touch of selective mutism. Sometimes it's easier and quicker to just pick them up and haul them away.

@@anablackwood6141 yes! I do the same thing. I can totally understand where you’re coming from ♥️

Yes, she's conflating gentle parenting with permissive parenting. They are NOT the same

They’re the same thing. Sorry.

Gentle parenting isn’t been undisciplined or without limits. Different things. You must set limits to the children, and teach them how to have a good behavior.

@@amandabarber8161it’s not the same thing at all. But because of morons on tick-tock who want to reduce a whole parenting philosophy into video laxative, it’s been reduced to lazy, permissive parenting. Gentle parenting is about not yelling or punishing kids in anger. It’s about consistent discipline, that is clearly communicated, and actually followed through with, so your children know where the boundaries are, and don’t end up with anxious attachment styles.

When it's done correctly, it likely is effective and positive; i see this conflation all the time. If the child is running the house- that's not gentle parenting.

My grandma used to take care of us when our parents were at work. We were 15+ kids ranging from 5 yrs old to 14-15. We were wild as a group. And although she was really strict, we were always in line around her because she still listened and was there to teach and love us. No one ever doubted her love or good intention. We knew why we were getting in trouble when she lectured us for something, oftentimes we were the ones to snitch on ourselves cuz she taught us to be honest even if we didn't like the results. She is someone who uses a wooden spoon and a chancla. But she never hit you more than once and she always made a point to give you 2 chances beforehand to correct your behavior before using it.

Perfectly put

Hear hear!!! I resent gentle parenting, because it would make those children THINK that would be the only correct reaction when they goes to the world.

I agree. I was someone who was obedient. You didn’t have to tell me twice. My brother on the other hand…he use to tryyyy my parents. They had to be stern and very serious with him.

Neglect is the biggest contributor to trauma. Tim Fletcher has a GREAT series on childhood trauma and shame. Free on RU-vid.

I agree with this. But also my dad was incredibly strict I hardly ever broke his rules growing up and was treated like shit and like a devil child my sister always broke the rules and got pregnant at 17 and was treated like the golden child. I think how you treat your child also affects how your child acts and if they listen to those rules or not. I was scared to get hit so I listened to the rules my sister wasn’t so she didn’t. If that makes sense. I think if you are gentle with your kids and explain things to them in a way they understand from the start then they won’t have behavior problems but if you’re an iPad kid and your parents talk to you like shit then that’s how you’re going to act. I think it needs to be a balance.

I see this a lot when my children's friends come over to hang out here. They are always surprised at the rules and the way my kids follow them. Watching these other kids fall in line so easily when this isn't something they get at home...kids NEED structure...WANT structure. Some of these parents just aren't paying attention.

@@djidjine5082That was my brother and I too.

Agreed, but as long as it is done early. Waiting too long and the behavior is set.

​​@@alanking7331you can change negative behaviors in older children, but like many other things in life, it's more work than if you nip them in the bud early

Yep. My grandpa hit us once and never again…😂😂😂 my sister and I learned our lesson.

​@@Dontworrybhappy_That's not discipline then. Discipline includes consequences - punishments. If you don't punish a kid, you failed that kid & that kid will most likely fail.

@@Dontworrybhappy_ The root of the word is not the word itself. Discipline includes the use of punishment to enforce boundaries. You can't properly raise a child without punishment. It's not punishing a child that is the easy/lazy way out. It's an absolutely inexcusable thing to do to a child. Kids are supposed to want to rebel. Natural part of human development & nature. If kids are just complacent & don't need to be kept in check by their parents something is very wrong.

Your sister isn't a gentle parent. She's a passive parent. There is a difference. Gentle parenting is teaching your child respect without having to beat your them. Passive parenting is walking on eggshells around your child so that they don't get their feelings hurt. A lot of passive parents think they are gentle parents. They have good intentions but it doesn't do anything good for their child. Would that be something you could bring to her attention?

I absolutely agree. The “gentle parenting” name is one that they use, not one that I’d describe it as at all.

How to raise decent people.

Very good dad! Keep it up they will cherish all your hard work!

We need more fathers like yourself. I tip my hat to you sir.

I just wanted to say thanks for the nice comments, it's absolutely not easy. This week the kids did great, but personally it was a rough week emotionally. Gotta keep our heads up. God Bless and thanks again.

You've got this, I admire your ideas and effort. Keep it up💪

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I've found myself saying that exact thing to my 15 year-old! Our job is to raise polite, useful members of society.

Your dad decided to speak truth ❤

I guess things like that work for some children, but it broke my heart with me and my mom. But perhaps a lot of my sadness over her saying things like that had to do with feeling neglected in other ways and not feeling as if she was correctly playing her part as a mother, so I yearned for something more comfortable and closer to her. I don't know. I think there is a balance between being a parent and making sure your child knows you are someone to listen to as an authoritative figure, but also not neglecting your child completely in safety, and comfort, and being someone they can go and talk to when they need someone. If there is no balance, I fear you will create tension and distance in the relationship.

​@@may-rw5jj it's still not healthy to be your kids "friend". they don't need a friend they need a loving, firm parent to guide them.

How to raise a psychopath 101. But seriously. I had mostly regular parenting but my little sister was starting to manipulate people as early as 12-13. But she never got any consequences for her actions so her manipulation escalated more and more in her teen years. She would nag at my tired mom for 2 hours straight until my mom turned her no into a yes. She knew she could always get her way by bullying people into submission. I think my sister was born a psychopath as she has shown many times she has no morals or empathy, on top of being a spoiled brat who has never really been told "no". Or she was told no but she would in the end get her way anyway. If you only care about money and how to get your way + zero empathy you are a born psycho or narc. I never submitted to my sister when she tried to nag me, the consequences for me telling her no? To make my life a living hell with constant harassment and not giving me any space for myself. Tried to break my door down when I told her I wanted to be alone. I think her message was something like "not even your room is safe, I will come in here by force!" Bloody psycho bitch! When she has done crazy shenanigans like that she has always laughed like she thinks it's super funny. Her harassing/bullying people is her fun time. And when confronted with her past bad behavior she doesn't say "sorry I did that", instead she laughs like "oh man, that was so funny!" Yeah it was so much fun for me... Not.

I will say that thats not even gentle parenting 😭

This country was literally founded on that idea. We even have an entire constitution dedicated to it. Especially the right to liberty. And the 1st amendment. And the 2nd amendment. I like freedom and oppose authoritarian tyrants like Brandon. As Alex Jones said to Piers Morgan: “1776 will commence again if you try and take away our firearms!”

@@johnmartin4641 You need to educate yourself on the essence of freedom. Freedom does not equate to a license to do what you want to whomever you want, regardless of consequences. We live in a civilized society. Actions matter. How we treat others matters. Children need to learn that choices have consequences.

@@nateh3441 that’s exactly what the fascist Democrats say and are saying now about Trump questioning the 2020 results in his J6 case. They say “you can speak freely, but there are consequences to your speech”, to which I always respond “take your consequences and shove them up your a$$”. If your speech has consequences, then it’s not free. They always justify their censorship and wanting to abolish the 2nd amendment by saying “we live in a civilized society.” Nowhere in the Constitution does it guarantee or even mention a civilized society. It does guarantee liberty, free speech, right to keep and bare arms, etc. Consequences are the opposite of freedom. If I ran an advertisement that said “buy 1 Ferrari, get one free”, and you show up at my dealership and pay for 1 Ferrari and then ask where your 2nd Ferrari is, I can’t say “well, it’s free, but one of the consequences of getting that free Ferrari is paying me an additional $550,000”; I would be thrown in prison and sued for fraud because that’s not free. If your speech has consequences, then it’s not free. We need to rid the country of tyrants who think there should be consequences for exercising your constitutional rights and give them the consequences they’re so fond of by throwing them in prison. There should be no consequences for anything that’s legal, especially if it’s a constitutional right.

No. Covid tyranny, forced masks on children, closed schools and extracurriculars, and every single outlet for families closed down for 3 years is what leads to iPad kids. It’s a trauma we need to correctly identify if we want to fix it.

Before having kids I had decided to not do tablets or do very little. I was criticized by many “you say that now!! Wait till you have kids” well, I was pressured into getting them tablets. Told by people “if you don’t get them one I will” and I didn’t want them to get something I don’t trust. So I got them each one. They only get their tablets on rare occasions. Like when I’m sick. My son is special needs and is a tornado. Everything is very interactive on their tablets and educational. So they get them during that time so the house isn’t destroyed when I’m sick. They went 10 months without the tablets and we just started on that path again. Told the kids no more tablets. They only had them on weekends for 2 months and I don’t feel they’re ready for them. I notice a large change in attitudes and emotions. My son is more aggressive, doesn’t listen, is more verbally defiant, has a smaller attention span and doesn’t want to play with his toys. We decided to possibly try tablet time next January… or longer if it’s more peaceful. I see a lot more issues with children who get unlimited screen time.

​@@4everloved142uhg, I'm with you. We said no. (Oldest was 4&2 at the time) Grandma got them for Christmas anyways. We lived with them. So if we put them away she'd get them out. Or give them hers. Then complain about behavior. Then I'd tell them it was the iPad. Didn't believe me or take me seriously 🤦‍♀️ it was a rough time.

⁠@@BerrysweetLove91This is my husbands dad and step mom. His mom passed away in 2015 and his dad got married to a very progressive woman. Back in 2016 I had told his step mom about tablets and what they’re finding. She said that I was crazy (always starting arguments with me) and that tablets don’t cause anymore harm then books. Now she won’t pick up one of her grandchildren unless he leaves the tablet at home because he is so defiant with it. Gotta love it, and of course she doesn’t remember ever telling me what she did. She still says “they need technology in moderation because otherwise they will be behind everyone” but I argued that it’s better to learn without it and then have it to use later then it is to learn with it and lose it and then be lost without it. My son being special needs, he almost died as a baby and has a brain injury, he is doing multiplication at 6yo almost 7yo. Ahead of his peers in most subjects. He is doing so great! I credit this to no technology. It really sucks when you’re living with someone and they go against your parenting. Like they know better than you. Makes me angry thinking about it, and then you need to live with them for many reasons (we’ve been there too) and you don’t want to step on toes because of it. It’s a really difficult place to be in.

I told my children it is your home, although it is my house and home and there are rules in my house and you will follow the house rules and their are consequences for not following the house rules! I spanked each of my children twice and not out of reaction only after explanation! They are perfectly fine on their own well adjusted adults who understand respect and have self respect!

A tool in the toolbox... No single tool works for every job.

Authoritative parenting is actually the best style. I think gentle parenting got so "gentle" that it became permissive parenting.

​@@tiffles699If the situation calls for a screwdriver, don't use a hammer.

@@danika9411Fully disagree. Demanding your kids do as you say without giving them any chance of making their own choices and mistakes isn’t in their benefit.

EXACTLY SING IT! Thats exactly what I'm saying!

People wouldn't dare to attempt to parenting thier kids and have risk of giving them trauma from thier rules Gentle parenting is ultimate safe and good thing to do - for a individual, not for child. It's not only OF girls, that obviously don't care about thier future kids. General parents afraid to parenting thier kids too, thus do not care about them, but thier feeling of is they are good or bad

People just confuse bad experiences with trauma. There is trauma for some people with certain situations, but some experiences are just bad, not traumatic

@@sabrinamichelle3588 and how would random parent tell the difference? The same way all women seemed to find men a threat, because deceiving exist, uncertainty in thier children drawing parents towards "everything is trauma" - proceeds gentle parenting. Especially now, when families so rare, stake is much higher, motivation is super low, courage is demolished

Exactly, which is why we shouldn't blame everyone else for someone behaving badly, especially if the kid is their teens, it doesn't automatically mean it's the parent's fault. In majority of the woke cases, it's actually something their parents don't have a clue that their kid is watching social media and getting brainwashed to be miserable and self-diagnose themselves with disorders. If they're there being miserable up in their big lavish room, chances are at worst, the parents just simply don't know what caused their behaviour and don't know how to fix it, or are afraid of being called "abusive" for trying to fix it. A kid who has dyed hair and Doc Martens isn't being neglected, even. The only person who's neglecting them is themselves. Their parents aren't able to physically or verbally change them at this point without backlash. Also, trauma is a very big word. It's not traumatic to have a bad day or simply a bad experience, and being a naive girl =/ getting traumatised, that word is overused and abused.

Best place to start is not everything is trauma. Stop letting people corrupt serious words with petty meanings.

Thank you for pointing out the difference, it’s so sad to see gentle parenting labeled as permissive because it actually takes so much work. I wish I could just take toys away and chuck my kids in time out, but that’s lazy and doesn’t actually teach them anything other than resentment towards the parent 🥲

Kids are not adults, parents need to stop treating them that way period!

Gentle parenting only works when kids are developed enough. We're talking ages 10+ when they are smart enough to observe, know right from wrong and are reaching the age where they resent being treated like they are kids. Before that there definitively needs to be a firm hand in place to help the kids develop good habits, and when they are old enough to talk about it that you can explain to them that the good habits will help them throughout their whole life. That means discipline, that means just saying "no" without an explanation at times because the child is behaving in a way that doesn't deserve the dignity of a response, just the consequence.

It’s actually really easy to ‘gentle parent’ little kids/toddlers when they’re not doped up on artificial colours and screen time 😂

Gentle parenting means actually understanding and knowing your child so that you can discipline accordingly. Each of my 5 children have needed different discipline techniques and I don’t have to yell at them like a maniac to get results. It means being present and consistent in boundaries. And guess what! My children know how to respect adults. They understand and respect boundaries. And they don’t act like assholes in public.

not to mention the amount of kids i see at restaurants with ipads. if a 5 year old cannot eat a full meal without an ipad that’s a problem. family time is super important and these parents aren’t giving them this. when i was younger i remember we always ate as a family and then we had an hour or so and then we played a game together. i know it’s not conventional for some families but everyone should prioritize family time in some way for kids.

That’s sad I was able to read 10th grade level books at age 9 and could write letters in the mail by age 8 I also had to get on the bus by myself once I got into middle school

Z​@@idioticbagel2833-I am Gen-X and I remember going to a restaurant and being expected to behave. Also, the restaurant would often have a menu to color/do activities on and crayons. I also would still be part of the conversation.

That is just what my son is like. I have disciplined him carefully and not given him excessive screen time. I homeschool and have poured endless hours of my time, energy, into teaching him boundaries and respect. My other 3 children are doing great. He is more work than all of them put together. He is neurodivergent and very hard to deal with. People see him and think I’m a bad parent. Nothing else I can do to help him. He does know how to read and write though. He’s 10.

It's called ADHD (except for no reading or writing)

Exactly, like I believe gentle parenting is very good but a lot of people nowadays don’t know what it actually is and are calling things gentle parenting which are not. The gentle parenting I heard of and agree with certainly includes punishment, but it’s all natural consequences of your actions. Like Brett said, you refused to get dressed? Okay going to school in your pjs. Or you thought it would be fun to knock the plants off the shelves? Now you have to clean it up and can’t come in this room for the rest do the day. Boundaries and consequences are vital, and with gentle parenting you’re supposed to be setting a mature example. You aren’t emotionally or physically abusive-no screaming at your child because you are the adult and should model how to control your emotions when you’re upset. Apologize to your child when you have made a mistake. And no physically lashing out because we try to teach our children not to hit or throw things, so why would we then do that exact thing? And not only do actions have related consequences, but you explain the reasoning behind why we do what we do. You respect children’s ability to understand in developmentally appropriate levels. Anyway, there’s a lot to it. But it’s interesting and frustrating how someone will be like “gentle parenting is the bane of society today! This is what you should be doing-“ and proceeds to describe what I would call gentle parenting. At least some styles like Montessori have a leader who gave it the name and label, gentle parenting is loose and whatever people what it to be…

@@gretaeder5996Exactly. Give your children boundaries and teach them about the consequences of actions, but you should also follow what you say and not physically hit or hurt your child

Exactly. I am a gentle parent and part of my parenting includes teaching boundaries and respect to my kids. I have 4 kids under 5 and even though they are young, none would be so disrespectful to another person. If they don't like something another person made, they will tell me in private because, while I feel it is important they know they can tell me anything, they understand that making negative comments towards another person can hurt their feelings. Also, I do not bring my feelings into my parenting because that is super self centered. I'm honestly shocked that a parent would do this. It's not about you, it's about helping a child learn to manage their emotions in a safe and appropriate way not making them feel guilty about how they "make" you feel. We are all responsible for our emotions and reactions and that is what I teach my kids

those labels are absurd and confusing, I don't hit or insult my kids as my father did with me, I almost never raise my voice but I'm always certain of the direction I give, I never say something that I don't believe in 100% "put on your shoes" there is no way out, they will put on the shoes, and they always do. Exept for some time out in the terrible twos I never have any problem geting things done I even overcome small resistance by making gentle jokes . I don't burden them with "my feelings" they are my sole responsability as an adult. Children should'nt have to feel that anything they can do could destabilize me , hurt me, I see that as abusive and bad parenting, how can we protect them if we can get hurt by whatever a five years old might do ?

The problem is that every parent I've seen saying they're doing gentle parenting, and that other people aren't doing it right, and creating absolute horrors.

Gen z therapy lol. No thanks! Lose that license bc gentle parenting is bullshit

it works for some kids, but not all@@BirdiePlaysYT

@@BirdiePlaysYT It is not, many elements of gentle parenting is likely a lot of the same shit you had growing up. It's just rebranded. Gentle parenting is a tool, like spankings, grounding, or time outs. The tools can be abused and misuses and cause serious damage onto a child. Spanking your toddler for crying when you say no (note, not wailing or fit throwing, just *sniffle sniffle* in the corner) is a misuse of spanking, as an example.

@@Carsky-op9nr Spanking is absolutely ok, if used correctly. You have to teach a child to not do life threatening behavior somehow, if a toddler runs into the street, try to play with a cord, reach for a pot of boiling water, a pop on their ass will leave an impression. And it doesn't even have to hurt, because the shock will be hat leaves the impression. What you are also not considering are children who do not respond to anything but spankings. My mother raised 5 children. My older brother's best response punishment was being put in the corner, my "punishment" was being talking to. My younger sister and youngest brother responded to nothing but spankings. My second youngest brother responded best to guilt, which my mother did not want to spend his whole life guilting him into behaving, and so he got his second best response punishment, which was spanking. Children are not universal, and they all respond to different things in different ways. Any punishment can become abuse, you can abuse a child by grounding them, you can abuse a child with confiscation. Does that mean you shouldn't be allowed those tools? To claim such is silly.

@@Carsky-op9nr A cord plugged into an electrical socket? Do you have some magical method of keeping those out of children's reach in every circumstance, esp considering the placement of most electrical sockets? You spank a child when they do any life threatening behavior. If you raise your child correctly, you shouldn't need spankings past the point of being a very, very young child. It's easy to look down your nose at others, but sometimes you don't have the luxury of banning a child from the kitchen, in fact, I think that wasn't a luxury we could afford in any house I lived in growing up. In some places, the kitchen is a core pathway through the house. Spankings are abuse if you misuse the tool, such as spanking out of anger. Any other punishment can become abuse if you misuse it. You need to have the option of discipline, and some kids don't care if they're grounded, put in a corner, lose privileges, ect. What do you do then? My brother and I were easy, well behaved kids, but my younger siblings were not. Their natural personalities made them little tormentors. The boys are fine now that they're older, my sister has problems but the problems are personality traits she's always shown (manipulative, drama queen, ect). My mother was actually physically abuse, as in, her stepfather almost killed her when he nearly snapped her neck. What she lived through is NOTHING compared to a properly used spanking. Do not treat them as the same thing.

That's not gentle parenting...

@@ticktacktick Regardless of whether or not a child will grow out of childish behavior or not, it is your job as the adult in the room, to help them learn. Teaching behavior begins at a young age and becomes a habit. Obviously, no one is expecting perfect obedience or manners from a baby, but teaching them "no!" and reinforcing the meaning of "no!" by physically preventing them from continuing to do something you said "no" to (e.g. no more food right now) can literally be life-saving later (e.g. saying "no!" and then moving them away from the hot stove, taking the scissors away from them, etc.). And if you start teaching them, then yes, a baby as young as 9 months old CAN at least vaguely understand the basic concept of "no." Think about how young you start training a puppy and then tell me an 18 month old human toddler who is rapidly learning language isn't capable of basic "yes/no/come/sit/stay" instructions. If a child is throwing food, more than once, it is appropriate to take that food away for a bit to teach actions and consequences. And before you say it: NO ONE is saying that child will starve either. Because guess what, if the kid throws all that food on the floor he STILL isn't eating it. It just ends up in the trash, instead of getting eaten 15 minutes later when the kid is calm enough to try eating again.

@@ohifonlyx33 very true. And by teaching kids no that early, by the time they start to become more mobile the word no means something and they tend to listen. Nothing is gained by letting the child simply throw food "because kids his age throw food", because without instruction (no) and limitation (removing the food temporarily) the child won't learn that it's wrong. An 18 month old doesn't know the meaning of no. We need to teach them.

Haha, your friend of the 18-mos old actually did gentle parenting, while the so-called gentler was only passive. That’s the issue, people claiming they’re gentle because they don’t want to deal with teaching their kids anything. “Severely punished” would have been derogatory/abusive language, yelling at the toddler, or physical harm….sigh…

Your friend demonstrated "gentle parenting" hy laying down thr boundary which is we don't throw food around and then enacted on that boundary with a natural consequence to that action which is if you want to throw food can go away for thr moment and then we can reset and try eating lunch again. The other "gentle" parent and I struggle to use that term was just very permissive and had no idea what actual gentle parenting is.

Homeschool them

This is precisely why we homeschool and chose a private homeschool group that is selective and on our page

✨homeschooled✨

That’s why I am homeschooling my boys 😅

It doesn't help that both parents are usually required to work outside the home and their shifts aren't over until further in the evening so the kids don't really get much time with them. terrifying.

What’s surprising is that boomer’s parents spent much less time with the kids than today. The parenting style is the issue as well as the lack of public shaming by others.

My friend has two girls one will work better for rewards, the other reactes better to punishments and having stuff taken away. Mind you they both get treated to rewards. More telling One girl Get your room clean and you will get a special treat. Other daughter clean you room otherwise you lose the special treat we are getting tonight.

@@redfoxgirlthis is how it is with my two 9 year olds my daughter is the easier one and my son is the one who tried to be defiant about literally everything. He will say I wanna go to sleep and I’ll say ok take you a nap then he will cry saying I don’t want a nap and get mad I told him to when he already said he was going to. With him we have to threaten to take things away because if not he just won’t mind and even still I have to be patient because he will still fight me on just anything and everything but I stay stern and tell him what’s gonna be done or else no games, ect.

The trick is to be firm and strickt ONLY in the moment it is needed, and then switching back to being nice(in severe cases get so firm and strickt for a moment the kid gets slightly scared, then switch to explain and negotiate-mode again)... When I used to babysit it used to be enough just to be strickt for a few seconds most of the time, show him I'm serious and mean buisness... And once he'd fix his attention on me instead of all over the place, I'd calmly start explaining to him what how and why... This had the huge benefit that HE UNDERSTOOD WHAT WAS WRONG and he'd often PERMANENTLY adjust his behaviour, because it was explained to him and it made sense ;-) I never had to use any threats of 'do this or you wont get that' or 'do this or punishment this', just a mean look and a firm voice for a few moments followed by a good explaination or conversation... My mother and sisters on the other hand all used parenting skills, or rather disabilities, of complaigning about 'how this made them feel', screaming like a raging b*tch, threatening CONSTANTLY, taking away their dinner or their toys/sending them to their room or into the corner WAY TOO OFTEN, insults from time to time, losing it and getting physically assaulting, and offcourse their personal favorite: staying mad for HOURS OR EVEN THE ENTIRE DAY about some little thing the kid had done AND NAGGING ABOUT IT ON AND OFF TO THE KIDS FOR HOURS TO COME... And on top of that they were completly inconsistant: they could be in 'I dont care mode/dont bother me you brat mode' while the kid was doing seriouly wrong things one day, and just explode in an agressive abusive tantrum for the smallest thing the next day, it just all depended ON THEIR MOOD/EMOTIONS and not the kids actual behaviour(it left the kids constantly looking and trying to read mommies feelings/emotional color-state of the day, and that's terrible for the kids having to be the responsable ones when their mommies aren't). Offcourse any adult with 2 working braincells that doesn't have a mean b*tch disorder will realise that their behaviour made their kids NOT CARE about doing things mommy tought was wrong, because heck she'll always find something to go mad b*tch tantrum abusive about anyway because the problem is inside her and her emotional spectrum... They were just petty disgusting human beings looking for ANY EXCUSE to take their frustrations out on their kids, and those were already existing underlying frustrations that had NOTHING to do with the childrens behaviour 😖 So my advice: be firm AND consistant but listen to your kids, explain them things, negotiate when possible, BE THE ADULT=> don't throw abusive tantrums at your kids, because THEY WILL HATE YOU AND PURPOSLY GO IN AGAINST YOU AT EVERY TURN ;-) Thus creating an endless cycle of adult abusive behaviour & endless punishments and the kids refusing to do as that specified parent tells them to do anyway due to a completly adult-caused lack of respect for them ;-) And remember: kids don't mind being disciplined by some1 they respect, that is consistant AND gives the good example... Use threats and punishment too often for every little thing and they'll lose respect. And keep your feelings between you and your partner, 'this hurts my feelings' is the lamest thing you could ever say to a child: it doesn't explain anything about the behaviour or the fault, it's emotional blackmail and it makes you look like you're emotionally unstable in the eyes of your kid. You should be considerate of the feelings of your child and not the other way around, otherwise you should've just gotten a dog(that you can scream at and bully and order around) or a cat(that you can ignore one moment and spoil and bribe into liking you the other moment) PS: poor pets are underrated

Just a side note: Discipline doesn't mean hitting a helpless child.

@@anaalina5964 no but if it means Fall on your face then do it... learning from mistakes is needed

@@gd-ashereu3261 Agreed! This is why old fashioned playgrounds are such an important part of play! Need to learn motor control amongst a variety of other skills that too many US modern playgrounds "protect" children from. Children need risk as part of their play.

Terrific guide for parenting! My list is very similar: 1. Always lead with love and compassion 2. Ensure all of my child's needs are met 3. Use age-appropriate, clear, and consistent expectations and consequences 4. Give safe opportunities for learning independence and life skills 5. Model the behaviour I want my child to learn

You can do a lot of things with a child who is well-behaved and responsive. You have to do much different things with children who are not behaved and are not responsive.

Maybe I'm too old to understand gentle parenting, but it seems to me that a lot of these parents are just allowing their children, especially the older ones, to steamroll them. They have no back bone so they just give in at every turn to keep the peace, but all that does is show the kids that they can do what they want, their parents don't care and they won't get in trouble. Kids need discipline. They may say they don't, but the kids that get it growing up will thank their parents for it later when they see how kids without it act.

Little kids don't have self discipline. That's why parents need to provide it for them. I'd say gentle parenting is a good thing once your children are adolescents. Before that... it's just a waste of your nerves. 'Cause they will try to find your limits. :)

How has that affected your relationship with him?

I’m an older millennial. My husband is younger Gen X. Our children are Gen Alpha. This how we’re raising our children.

Some would say that describes gentle parenting as long as you didnt spank or hit your kids as punishment. Gentle parenting does involve consequences like replacing a broken toy with pocket money. If someones parenting doesnt involve consequences, they are permissive parenting and that is different and will not yield good and kind adults.

That sounds like what gentle parenting is supposed to be 👍🏼 Good job. Lazy, IPad parents are now just calling their laziness ‘gentle parenting’ to justify their disconnect, selfishness, and passive approach to not raising their children properly.

Would have loved parenting like this. When your (my parent's) child (me) has depression and is harming themselves in middle school and you not only do nothing about it, but continue to be verbally and physically abusive, you're doing it wrong.

It's amazing no one seems to recognize that. There is no one method that works and as you said, it has to be tailored to the kid. I needed and deserved every belt to the ass I ever got. Scolding my brother worked fine because he was sensitive and didn't want to disappoint them. I was stubborn as hell. And when I got old enough to where the belt didn't work, being grounded from friends was the new punishment. My parents didn't just punish us differently, they evolved their punishment as we aged. Luckily for me, my daughter is not like me in that regard LOL.

Mine never got to decide anything beyond the small, age appropriate things I allowed. Also a millennial and authoritative parent…which is actually what gentle/respectful/conscious parenting is supposed to be, rather than the permissive/passive/negligent way people do and claim it is. I think that’s the trouble with it, people misunderstanding the name and thinking their kids’ fleeting feelings have to matter most, instead of letting them be upset while the consequences happen/ boundaries are enforced anyway. Daycare/school love working with my kiddo; strangers compliment his behavior in public all the time; and any “tantrum” he has in public is quiet pouting because that’s what he learned was the appropriate way to express his upset in public spaces, lol. And no, he’s not “easy going”; he’s strong willed and stubborn, looks for any loopholes, and needs to experience most consequences at least once to realize it’s “real” hahaha.

I too am authoritative, and am always grateful we turned our ways around when people compliment my children’s behavior. You are totally right though, absolutely stubborn. 🤣 we’ve raised them on yes sirs and no ma’m’s and to always say you love your relative when you see them. I have a son who is autistic and is still more well behaved than “gentle parented” kids in public. It’s so destructive.

What you explained at the beginning of your comment is not “gentle parenting.” It sounded more like permissive parenting. A “gentle parent” still has control. They understand where their child is at developmentally and parent accordingly. They are authoritative. Gentle parenting really is authoritative parenting.

Because children absolutely WANT AND NEED structure and guidance.

Everything you said is dead on.

i see this with parents too, people who want to be a friend to their kids first and foremost but thats not your job as a parent, you have to employ both tough love and gentle touch at times

I think we over-emphasize empathy. So much so that when people steal Amazon packages in Canada they say you can’t post it due to privacy concerns and presumption of innocence. That’s the empathy culture. “Yes he raped you, but imagine how hard his childhood was.” Humans have all the empathy they need naturally. They don’t need to be taught more empathy n

same my mom doesn’t dicapline us anymore bc my siblings and i are older than 16 but we adopted recently and my brother is 2 and he rlly only gets spanked for like supper bad stuff my mom talks to him gently but even when i was growing up shed spank us talk to us and have us apologize or fix our wrongs and my sibling and i are respectful and grateful spanking isn’t abuse and i hate when ppl say that

See I’m confused because I thought part of gentle parenting was the natural consequences. I don’t know if I’ve heard one singular definition of gentle parenting. This emotions reign supreme type view doesn’t make sense because emotions are so fickle. I’d argue I go against it to an extreme degree. If my kids are too emotional about a topic we just wait until it’s died down so the conversations can be rational. I also get confused about the time out hate because what other way do you teach your kids it’s cool for them to walk away till they’re in a less emotional frame of mind to have a discussion. You can illustrate it yourself which helps but they have to do it too. Call it a time in if that suits your sensibilities, or ‘take a knee’.

@@theirishsaint4324 well cos now a days time outs and spankings are considered child abuse (all the ppl who do gental parenting say it’s abuse)

@@sm0ll how is time out abuse? Sounds like you are teaching your kids to calm down and be rational

This was the line that made me WTF too. It's an impossible loop. I tell them what they are doing frustrates me, and they are just going to do it back and wonder why my feelings matter and not theirs. I don't care about those feelings, yours or mine, when they are irrational. There's a problem that is FACT that needs solved. Feelings are a fleeting mess and not always worth making decisions around.

The day I realized that a kid's feelings doesn't matter is during the time I was taking care of my sister's kid while she works and during the time... Let's just say "the transfer" to make it more easier to understand, that part where my sis would hand me the kid and say "You be good", then the kid tantrums inside the mall while everyone is looking at us. Then, after my sis cannot be seen, the kid would stop crying. You know those behind the scene in the movies where it's like, "Okay, you going to cry now for this scene" and then after the scene, they stop. The kid is I think 3 at that time. After a few scenario at that, I stopped taking the crying seriously.

@@konaqua122how in the world can you say anything like “kid’s feelings dont matter”. like wtf. are you aware how many cases of actual abuse and violence arent investigated because the kid is not believed ?????

It's a manipulative thing to say imo too

@@60oh Because at the end of the day, that's a kid and you're the adult. You are he responsible one and every action your kid does and doesn't is your responsibility. If a kid wants a real gun because he saw in the internet that it's cool, would you buy it to him? Because saying no to this means you do't care about the kid's feeling. What I said is very specific. I am talking about the kid's feeling. Not his safety, not being responsible but his feeling. So let me ask you. If a kid wants a real gun because he saw in the internet that it's cool, would you buy it to him? Yes or no?

That's passive parent, not gentle parenting.

I didn't grew up with gentle (or maybe passive) parenting but my feeling is still easily hurted when people criticize me. I learned to handle it by pretending I'm not hurted tho. So what you are dealing is actually pretty normal I think, just because other people didn't show their emotion, doesn't mean they'rent feeling it. Rejection always hurted.

That’s not gentle parenting. Your parents just didn’t parent you

Thank you for being HONEST. This needs to be said

Funny, I've grown with the opposite type of parenting and I can't handle criticism in some ways.

I will say, gentle parenting os good but people use it to be lazy parents, and that is Not gentle parenting

"a lot of my errors had to do with scientific research on childhood brain development, and so in my head, I excused a lot of Behavioral actions as it being developmentally appropriate and then not correcting it" My sister does this, it drives me bonkers. Her kids are all 5 and under (four of them!!) and they throw food everywhere, pee themselves occasionally, lick furniture (and sometimes people, ugh). It's maddening.

​@@blushbb. It's like a different form of permissive parenting.

The new grading scale is fxcking stupid. There was nothing wrong with A through F. I literally have to ask my kids what the report card says. 😂😂😂

Coddling and permissive parenting is definitely hurting kids.

maybe instead commit a moment to thinking about what is making you feel like a terrible parent exactly?… we all expect our kids to respect us and know immediately what we want and yet we cant afford them kindness and patience. this is why this world is going to shit

Yep, I teach in elementary school which also has pre k students. The pre k kids act like wild animals.

if you tried to do half the stuff some kids do 40 years ago you would be slapped and the parents would have thanked you for it. now the kids do even worse stuff and the parents defend the kid for their terrible behavior, and we wonder why so many kids act so bad. you enable (if not encourage) bad behavior, the child isn't going to understand between right and wrong

Do you think your kid will resent or rebel against you later on

@@Tast-1934. It's how my Mom delt with me and I don't resent her. All kids rebel at some point its a part of growing up. Just asking how many kids do you have?

@@brennarush1402 I have 1 daughter and I treat her with respect and dignity, and I never treat her as inferior

@@Tast-1934. holding your kids accountable is not treating them as inferiors it's teaching them responsibility, and making sure that they don't end up like spoiled little brats

@@brennarush1402 I'm sorry but it sounds like you were less holding him accountable and more being cruel to him. Seriously "it's not going to be fun for you" who threatens a 3 year old like that. And I'm sorry but I don't believe in forcing kids to apologize, that is and should always be a choice so that they only apologize when they mean it.

I wholeheartedly agree with you. There should definitely be a balance between compassion and discipline to help shape a well-balanced human being!

Speaking of the phone thing, my mom and I went out to dinner on my birthday. We spent the time before getting the food chatting and catching up. I happened to look over at the table at my left side and noticed that the mom was on her phone and the kids desperately wanted her to engage with them. It made me really sad. Parents living on their phones are missing their kids. One day, they’ll look at their kids and realize that they don’t even know their own children. It’s heartbreaking.

That's not gentle parenting!

The things I've seen as a high school student is unbelievable. Peers influence their friends so easily, I bet it can almost feel impossible to keep your kid in check.

Yeaah I have so much respect for teachers. I just could not. I would become way too unprofessional. As an ex ski teacher I came into contact with enough kids. I would warm them multiple time then just let them do what they wanted. Would mostly end up in them falling an crying and I'd leave them there for a bit and tend to the other kids. Worked like a charm tbh.

Tell her to go back, but a cheaper school with lower cost Then get an English teaching license Then she can travel to other countries and teach there. Asia is a good spot and the children are parented by Asian Parents 😅😂 so rarely do you see misbehaved children

Same thing happened to my cousin. 😔 Unfortunately she realized too late, after going to school and getting a degree. She tried it one year and she could not.

Look into tutoring, or other alternative options... or maybe, like me, her dream would be to be a homeschooling mom, and helping out with the local co-op? It's funny, I spent so many years wondering what career I should take, and teaching was a major path. Anyways I was good at academics so I got my Bachelor's. Became a stay at home mom, which truly is my dream. Meanwhile, my husband is making bank in a trade on a high school diploma. 😂 He used to feel like a failure for never having gotten a degree. It all worked out for the best.

@@lluviagarcia3529 I hope she can find a way to use the degree. It's crazy schools are desperate & bringing in people with kinda whatever BSBA degree to teach --- but administration & parents are running off those called to teach & educated specifically to teach.

I feel most parents use gentle parenting wrong. My friend babysits a 7 or 9 year old kid, and her mom asks her, "What made you feel that way to push the cup off of the table? Why did you do that?" No consequences whatsoever. Just straight babying the kid. The kid can't even say words correctly, read, or write at that age and make up words. If it was my child, I would have lost it already.

​@@anastasiaangelikova Loosing it over a spilled cup is kinda a lot.

@@Jillberto She just walks over and knocks the cup off of the table on purpose. No manners. I can’t have that. If you knock over a cup for no reason on purpose when your parent is around at that age, you know your parent can’t control you. Hence, she throws tantrums. It’s not losing it over a cup being a lot. It’s the behavior. It’s called not being able to get a handle on your kid. There’s no excuse when they only have one child. Not reading, writing, or speaking properly is another strike. Especially when her mother is a teacher and English is the only language she needs to learn. You can’t fail if you only have one language to learn. That’s what’s wrong with the American system today.

​@@Jillberto Kids acting like that in front of you shows they're actively disrespecting you as an authority, then your job as a parent is to inforce rules and letting them know they can't behave like that, not simply asking them how they feel as if that validates said behavior. Functional adults don't throw things around when they're frustated, then neither should children. It's not about the cup itself, it's about the principle.

@@declaracionespolemicas With the added context the person provided i would sort of agree with them. I thought they're getting mad because the kid spilled the cup.