I hope everybody takes this advice seriously as I wish I had. I always knew that gossip was basically wrong but I did get into the bad habit of it even though many times I thought of it as only "venting". I tried not to be a vicious gossiper, but the bottom line is that any gossip is destructive, and the Bible does tell us this. I learned this the hard way about 20 years ago on a job where I was suddenly confronted in an awkward way about my gossip which had been revealed to my coworkers by the new person I had gossiped to. As a result I quit my job in shame, I was just so embarrassed because I did care a lot about the ladies I worked with and I felt so guilty about talking behind their backs. I should have known better and I was old enough to know better but it is a kind of addictive behavior and I still struggle a little bit with it and have to remind myself constantly not to do it. I like your advice Father to just simply think of it as"do unto others".
Amazing advice I try to engage my brain before I speak and not to say anything. However I have been a gossiper and listening to this a the strategies on how to deal with it are extremely helpful. Might use the feather pillow example when talking to people about gossip that really made me think! Excellent video love this channel so much.
Yes, my father made sure we 3 went to Catholic Schools! But he was Very abusive through my entire life!!! He did Say something that covered a multitude of Sin's the 3 1/2 Month's I took care of him while he was dieing from lung Cancer From asbestos poison from the Navy shipping yards and volunteer work for the Catholic Church School we attented! He was always a good provider! Just couldn't stand me from The begining! I never held it against him, ever! I considered That a gift from God! I have always been able to forgive easily Except maybe 1 person who abused my Down Syndrome daughter! That has taken awhile! But I don't wish him harm!
I fall into it easily too. Either I am actively listening or I am the one who is gossiping, it makes feel so terrible. Tonight is one of the days 😢 sorry God that I let you down. :(
Thank you so much, Father. Very helpful. I’m just imagining how Jesus or even St Francis would have handled gossip. Certainly with love, but probably would have stopped it dead. Peace and all good to you!
Thank you, Fr. Columba. This was very helpful to me. I have been involved in some hurtful family matters in recent years which I could not keep inside. I talked about this with my mother and son, probably far too much. I confessed it to my priest later, but I have now learned that speaking in anger increases resentmentment. Gossip is very tricky and very wrong! Thank you for setting me straight.
Father Thank you so much for clearly explaining to us about gossiping. I really, really hate gossip since I read about it that it’s a sin to gossip and it makes you feel so drained when you talk to other and they talked about another person especially bad things about other person. My whole family from my mother side is like that they gossip so much to the point that is so toxic and truly makes you want to be away from them. This recent Thanksgiving week, I was able to visit one of my aunt and cuzins on my mom side and they’re still the same, still gossiping and to the point that it gave me anxieties. I realized God is telling me that he He already took me away from them and I need to stay away from them because they haven’t change. Just pray for them. Gossip is toxic.
I saw that in a movie only They had to pluck a chicken on their way to see this Priest(this video was about a Saint who was a Priest). Anyhow, once they got to where the Priest was...He said Now Walk back to where you Started and pick up All the Feathers!!! The couple got The message!!! 🤗
Very helpful!! Thank you!! Perfect! I think this might be a hard one for most people. I am trying to correct what was before "normal" behaviour... Learning more about our beautiful faith is just wonderful! Thank you Jesus, thank you his holy catholic church and thank you father :)!
Thank you so much, Fr Columba, for this informative and very important video. I thank God that He is working through you! I often find myself on the receiving end of people venting their issues about others. If a friend is telling me about an injustice or big issue they have experienced due to another, such as their landlord not taking care of the house they live in and that in turn severely affecting them, should I still veer the conversation to something else immediately? Listening to what happened to them and then saying that I am sorry for their situation would still be gossip, correct? God bless you!
With the counselor I think its ok if you tell them if its your if they know since it is confidential and oth of you agree to work on the issue. ( although it depends on what it is) Or to a friend who you know won't get telling everybody but only try to help you ( If its done for the sake of providing context rather then damage) Then it doesn't count as gossip. Also my mother the other day made a negative comment about a boys haircut in the privacy to us ( she was saying that she didn't like that haircut) so you think thats gossip because she told me she was just saying their opinion and also what happens when its talking about something everyone knows happen or history then what is it still gossip or.
Wow this is super helpful, Fr. Jordan! Thank you so much for clarifying the differences of gossiping and venting, and how to prevent the sin of detraction. I have been struggling with this almost everyday at work. Thank you so much for the advice! God bless.🙏
I am really hoping it's ok to share it with a priest who knows the person who has wronged you, and you are hoping you can get spiritual direction to overcome and do God's will ... ????
5:06 When someone tries to draw me into listening to what I think is gossip, I tend to go "OK" in a slow and somewhat bored way. Is this a possible way of drying up the gossip?
What if your counselor is your priest and he also knows your husband ( the one talked about) ? Should I find someone else to talk about my marriage struggles? It would be somewhat difficult to find someone who doesn’t already know who we are in our community.
Personally I think that is absolutely fine. Of course, check your intention if you need to: are you ranting to this priest to get back at your husband because this priest knows him (I highly doubt this is the case) or are you genuinely turning to this priest for guidance and advice? Especially because the one you are confiding in is a priest, I feel you could trust his absolute privacy and discretion regarding what you tell him. I think Fr Columba was more referring to if your counsellor is a close family friend or you feel you couldn't rely on their total confidentiality. Hope that helps, and you are in our prayers! Katie
This ugly habit is so easy to fall into it.work it out of our lives before it takes root. Just cold turkey stop before you get the thought to gossip. Call on your Angel it will help much.
Thank you Fr!❤ I always find your videos really helpful in understanding what to do and how to look at such situations😄. It's a big help in my spiritual growth journey😊
Thank you so much. I have never heard such straight and thorough talk about this. It is very necessary. How does one confess sins of gossip from years ago? If you realise you may have gossiped and never confessed it.
This advice is really helpful and clarifying. At the core, all we need do is to respect the dignity of others in the best way we can. Question: Me and my girlfriend have built a relationship built on really open and honest communication. But sometimes, to get to the roots of our past trauma, and so help the other understand fully why one may feel a certain way, we need to talk about people we both know and how they have hurt us. For example, our parents. Does this constitute gossip? My intention is never to disparage anyone (at least not consciously) but to help her to understand, so I don't hurt her. Thanks! God bless.
Hello there, thank you for your honest question. That’s a great thing to discuss with a priest in spiritual direction or confession and maybe you could give more detail and ask what they think - but from a fellow layperson that sounds fair to me so long as your intention and how you do it are from a good place. May God bless you and your girlfriend! Katie
Hallo Father, a question please, what if I need to explain to my husband why I do what I do, and the explanation will disclose someone's poor behaviour? Thank you.
Hi Christine, this is a very good question thank you for bringing it up. I think a lot of it has to do with our intention, are we using our husband as an excuse to gossip and just for no good reason to tarnish someone’s reputation, or is there an actual reason for sharing something with him, and in that sharing with him are we making sure that he knows it is confidential? And even in the way we share the information, are we being as charitable as we can or again are we using it as an excuse to rant about someone unnecessarily. Husband and wife should be able to talk freely with each other, but I think there is still room to strive for thinking and speaking charitably about others in that context. Hope that helps, it’s at least what I try to follow from what priests have told me! Katie
Hi Lucas, thanks for your question. I suppose it depends on the context. But I think even if you know something and choose to share it in a way that would damage another’s reputation (same applies to believing), it has the same effect as gossip. Hope that answers! Katie
