Hi Tabitha - I'm a 28 y/o male who's had an issue going on 3-4 years now. Read your book cover to cover about 2 weeks ago and I've had more breakthroughs since then than I've had in years. Learning about migration theory, mental hunger, and the chapter on OCD-ED behavior has completely changed my perspective. I'm about 50% nutritionally rehabilitated but now really addressing the psychological. Your content is life-saving. I attended my cousin's wedding yesterday after missing multiple weddings over the last couple of years. I ate as much dinner as I wanted and the cake. I also feel great today and didn't force myself to the gym - had to rewatch a few of your videos about compulsive exercise/movement though (but it worked!). Thanks again.
Thank you Tabitha for this video. I am going through this now coming out of a relapse and trying to allow myself to eat more even if it “isn’t the right time” based on a meal plan. My body knows best in terms of when it wants more food. I always think about your overdraft analogy in this respect which I think is perfect. We are just hungry when we are, and this is a sign that we need more food.
Ed is so frustrating. Im in and out of recovery like a yoyo, i no its making it worse and i no i have fear of weight gain. Yet the moment i put some body fat on. I "accidentally ristrict" use the same bs lines well im not that hungry. Ill eat soon. If i eat now i cant eat the "nice" food later and i like eating later.... all the same lies ive told my self for years and years. Expecting it to fix its self. And this is even worse as my mum passed away this year from anorexia her self.
hey Tabitha! first of all i want to thank you a lot for your videos, they've helped me a lot through my recovery and you were right i stopped watching your videos (in a good way) because i started to be like i used to, doing the things i love, enjoying stuff, caring about people, overall doing and eating what i want and like. I'm here writing this because those bad thoughts just came back and right now i feel 'motivated' to lose weight in a healthy way but i know it won't be like that, it will escalate like it did before, also i started to miss my old sick body. Sometimes i love how i look now, but this past weeks I've had self-loathing and like i said before i want to lose weight so bad 'cause i think i would make me feel better about myself. I'm really confused now so i would like to hear your thoughts about this. I have to mention that antidepressants helped me a lot through my recovery and due to my improvement my psychiatrist reduced my dose so my theory is that maybe these thoughts came back suddenly because of the lower dose.
Hi Tabitha, quick question for thought. In your experience, can an eating disorder (or relapse) be brought on by stress alone or does there have to be an energy deficit that goes along with it? I ask because my family is going through a period of stress (sickness in extended family) and it feels like a switch has been flipped and I am fighting really strong thoughts and urges to restrict. Could stress alone do that or is it stress that maybe led to accidentally not eating enough? I have a long eating disorder history but considered myself pretty much fully recovered, and now I am questioning it. Thank you for your videos!
It's my guess that you'd have an energy deficit. If you get stuck into eating your brain should change. That's been my personal experience. Take care. ❤
How long did your most hungry client need to recover? It seems to be easier for people, who gain only a decent amount of weight and only have extreme hunger for short. I have had extreme hunger now for years and gained a lot of weight. But I guess my ed was also very long (maybe started at age 13) and I am pretty old already (now 53), so the energy deficit must be huge...could you talk about extreme cases like this in your videos? Or can't we make it anyway?😢
You're not alone. I still have extreme hunger and I'm over 5 years into recovery now. I had ed for 30+ years. I too gained loads of weight cuz my body needed to. Now I eat without restriction, and still need lots of high fat, high sugar food everyday. And I still eat way more than other ppl. But I know it's definitely working bc it's so much better now than when I first got into recovery. My body is definitely starting to settle down, sometimes I even forget to eat, which has never happened to me before.
Hey Tabitha - you might recognize me from a previous video you made, my names jazmine. And I just want to thank you to start off with..you really helped me in my starting phases of recovery but recently I’ve had a step back. I feel like I know what you’re gonna say but I still want to know more of your thoughts for guidance and some reassurance. I was really committing to recovery when you first responded to my comment (the honeymooon phase) but recently I’ve put on weight and am really struggling. I was eating and eating and eating and for a bit I wasn’t even gaining weight and I felt so happy with that…then school started and I started back tracking for whatever reason. I got anxiety and started restricting..now I hate myself for it..I’m restricting a lot more and I hate hate hate that I did that. I was eating a lot and things were good and for no reason I screwed myself. Now I’m terrified to let myself eat like how I want to ( a lot) again because I screwed up my metabolism. It was running so good with a lot of food then now I’m restricting and so I feel like I busted it and screwed it all up and now I can’t eat what I want again. I’m just scared to allow myself to eat unrestrictedly again and it’s especially hard with school. I feel stuck and I hate myself for what I did..
Heya, I would suggest seeing a dietican whose familiar with eating disorders. TF has zero profesional training in nutritional rehabilitation and her methods have significantly damaged some people (including me, but I know many others). Your safest bet is to see a profesional and explain to them your experiencing extreme hunger and you don't want to be told to ignore that, but you'd lije some kinda structure and a metal plan that's higher in calories (or maybe better put has extra snack options to encorperate when your rebound hunger is hitting). It's important to get the right nutrients so that your brain can begin to think more rationally and challenging ed distortions.
@letsmakeitagoodworld Hi! I agree with your comment (this part about zero professional training)- you are 100% right and TF's method shouldn't be applied to all. But could you describe a little bit what happened to you (what is/was damaged?) and how r u right now? Hugs xx
Normal amount of food is a tricky thing in a disordered world and it is still emotional hard for me when people skip meals or when they are stuffed after a half portion. Can you speak about this topic? You said often you eat still more than others and snacks during the day it causes still emotional reaction although my rational brain are now in a much better place .
Hey! Here’s my take on it: we’re a lot more aware of food intake than others. Other people may snack often and not consider it a proper meal. So when meal time comes, they’re already half full. If you are in a deprived state, you need to just eat whenever you feel hungry. Overtime, you will become a “normal eater.”
Hi Tabitha, sorry to reach out to you here, but I noticed your website has gone down within the past few days, and was wondering if it will reappear? It was life-saving for me in my early recovery and I still like to go back and read it occasionally. It would be a shame for such a brilliant resource to be lost.
i have a hard time with having 3 meals a day- not the act of actually eating them, but moreso trying to make them “balanced” which feels disordered to me after coming from orthorexia where i would force myself to have 3 meals a day that were all perfectly balanced. the harsh structure of 3 meals a day also seems disordered to me now as i have eaten on a “schedule” whether or not i was hungry which just feels disordered and like a self-imposed meal plan. i almost don’t want to eat meals at all and just eat whatever i crave when i’m hungry, even if it just be a slice of pizza at some random time. sorry if this makes no sense, i just feel like i need ALL structure in order to fully recover but also know that isn’t normal and most normal people have full meals.
like i heard you say before that in recovery, we aren’t supposed to eat normal (aka 3 meals a day) and it SHOULD look strange before it balances itself out naturally to your body wanted 3b structured meals rather than just eating whatever whenever and not meals
it just feels like meals get in the way of unrestricted eating rather than helping and i feel like grazing all day is better but that’s not normal but i don’t know if i’m supposed to be eating quote on quote “normal” at the beginning of recovery
Thank you Tabitha for everything, for your posts, for the videos, for you honesty,...it hellps me so much that someone tells the truth as easy as you do! I'm in recovery and I'm really scary when I allow myself to feel what my body is telling me, not my brain, just my body. And sometimes, when I've already finished my meal but body told me that is still hungry y feel terrible annoyed and scared because I want to eat more but at the same time I don't want to eat anythingelse. It's a constant fight in my brain
Is it normal to eat until you feel like you’re going to pop? I eat so much chocolate, corn chips, cookies, etc. at night and can feel when I am comfortably full and should stop, but I don’t. Most people want to keep going but they don’t because they want to stay healthy and keep their body at a healthy weight. If everyone gave into everything their mind wanted we would all be obese, right? Aren’t some restrictions important? My mum stops herself from eating a whole bar of chocolate and my sister gets fruit if she wants more after dessert, but I am not doing that. I am getting all the high calorie, processed foods and eating as much as I want of them!! (Sometimes so much I can barely breathe! That’s if Im staying up late with my sister. Otherwise I will eat until everyone is going to bed). I feel so full but I want more. I’m scared I’m binging and developing BED which I heard was quite common for people recovering from anorexia. This is happening every night. I know that if you eat more during the day this should stop but I have been doing that and it doesn’t stop the binges! I am weight restored but I keep gaining weight because of this!!! It’s not that I CAN’T control myself, it’s that I don’t want to in the moment because it feels so good to not have any restrictions (but then I’m left with the guilt afterwards….). And none of this stops me from eating the next day. Please give me advice, I don’t know what to do. I thought anorexia recovery would mean I way like the people around me, like a normal human being, but that is not what it has been. Please can I have some advice. Background info (if necessary): I am 19 years old and have been inpatient twice before (relapsed after first inpatient stay and was never truly recovered after second). I wanted to admit myself into hospital this time round but because I am now an ‘adult’ that would be a whole different ballgame. Both times I was fed with a tube that ran constantly throughout the day. Could that be why I have never experienced such extreme extreme hunger? First time I was discharged from hospital I did experience what I thought was binging and was led to believe by everyone around me (including FBT psychologist) that this was abnormal and reason for concern, but now realise probably wasn’t. Throughout my hospital stays and FBT treatment, the psychologists and doctors around me told me that binging was bad. I once ate a whole bar of rocky road chocolate in hospital and my dietitian gave me a real talking to - “A normal, healthy serving is two rows, not the whole bar.” It doesn’t help that my mum wants me to start eating less sugar and processed foods because she is concerned about my health. At first she was happy to see me eating such foods because it was so different to what I have been doing, but now she has started saying “after dinner you should eat either fruit or protein.” She says it lovingly but I know what she really means. I think it’s because of my rapid weight gain that she says this. She doesn’t want me to keep gaining and I don’t want to keep gaining. But she doesn’t understand. I don’t understand. I think my sister is the only one who really understands! I am scared. I’ve been in recovery for about three months now and am weight restored. I have been eating mostly unrestricted and the idea of stopping these night feasts is horrible to me because I’ve been in restriction for so long (I’ve had anorexia for 5 years and I can’t remember what ‘normal’ eating felt like). Please offer me some advice. I have read your book (Rehabilitate, Rewire, Recover) and it has been my saving grace in so many ways. Thank you for such a precious, integral resource ❤ PS: I also haven’t been hypermetabolic which I feel so frickin guilty about. 🫤 I researched it and apparently it happens to almost everyone recovering from starvation. What is wrong with me?
Hey! I only read the first part not your background and I can say that I deeply relate! I‘ve been weight restored for over 3 years now and I still struggle so much with binging. If I‘d eat what I‘d wanted I would LITERALLY never stop and gain and absurd amount of weight (which I already have!). But them something that hits my mind everytime: Surely when I binge I eat an ABSURD (I mean it) amount of food. But there comes a point, at least for me) where I‘m so full mentally and physically that I don‘t want to eat anymore. The thing is it takes thousands and thousands of calories to get to that point. For normal people it takes a sandwich and a cookie. For me it takes sandwichES, cookie trails, cakes, peanut butter, chips, cornflakes… BUT eventually I hit the point. I do struggle alot with eating a normal amount and being satisfied because I often think what‘s the point in eating one sandwich when I KNOW it‘s gonna trigger the ed beast in me and I‘ll want to eat 3 other ones as well. Sorry, if I can‘t give you closure or the help you want but I feel like we make recovery so much about our looks. I wish I would’ve focused more on the mental part in the past because if I would’ve just followed these hunger cues I would be at a normal weight with healthy food behavior. BUT because I gained all the weight after being sick in a very unhealthy and still restricted way I gotta do the mental recovery NOW, which is way harder in a already healthy body than in a sick one..
@@marieluis3530 wow, thank you for this reply. It means so much. It makes me not feel alone. I know exactly what you mean when you say it’s harder to get healthy in a healthy body than in an unhealthy body. I made the mistake of gaining weight while restricting too. I agree with the point you made about it taking thousands of calories to fill you up. I’m the same :/ Good luck Marie ❤️ We can do this!
@@marieluis3530 maybe you're trying to control your weight still? "Normal" weight is pretty subjective especially for someone recovering from ED. If this is the case your body and mind are still not satisfied because you're still restricting trying to stay at "normal" weight. Maybe get rid of the scale for a while and see how your hunger cues are after that.
Hi Tabitha! I’m a 21yr old female and I’ve been petrified of a particular story for years. I even came across a video supporting my fears😭It’s the story of a woman who went from extremely underweight to obese. If I ever go all in recovery, I will be overweight I think. I have done partial recovery a million times for 4 yrs, and had many mini relapses. Now i’m restricting again and fear I’ll be the lowest weight i’ve ever been (cause now I don’t have parents around who will force me into recovery). help :(
Heya, why do you need to do all in recovery? (And I mean all in as in zero limits just eating, for many, chaotically, and totally unbalanced. Have you seen a dietican? Truth is tabithas method lead me to sugar addiction so bad I developed pre diabetes from sugar addiction & scurvy which can be deadly. This is jot what most people fall into but im not a rare unicorn either, there are many in BED forums who developed BED after anorexia because people with eds are prone to all sorts of earing disorders. I think your best bet is to see a professional (not some random on the internet giving nutrition advice with zero qualifications), a meal plan may aliviate some fears whilst also allowing you to eat adequately when extreme hunger hits. In this way if inwas you & you can access help I would really recommend making sire you see a dietican who is clued up about eating disorder recovery & that extreme hunger is a real thing. In saying that you need to be ready to change also. The worst thing you can do is go halfway into recovery (eg experience the worst parts) then backtrack after a while just to have to do redo the worst bits, it kinds engrains in your brain the bad of recovery without experiencing the good with stuff like food freedom and not having food and hunger on your mind 24/7, also the normalizing of your brain in regards to how you see yourself which can take well over a year of recovery
Do you have any tips for a person like me, as when I go all in, I gain, gain and gain, getting overweight and the years goes by. It never ends, I go from the common ana to the common overweight that eats emotionally, craves when not hungry, and so on. I tried all in when I was younger, but it never succeeded. The one thing lasted the longest, was training myself in normal portions (for me, not for some shortie inactive female) and mindful eating. Thats not "all in" and giving after for mental hunger. Then I was healthy for 6-7 years, until I tried low FODMAP (severe IBS-C and low FODMAP was the right thing to try, but as former ana...) and got a relapse that I am right now just turning around. Many says all in cant go wrong, so how to explain when anas goes all in and 5 years after are overweight, emotionally eating or had clear bulimic behaviour? Some mukbangers on YT that seams to go all in and eat whatever, do not seam healthy. Do you have a video adressing this and how to avoid and know when it goes wrong?
so when i tryed to "recover " from bmi way to low_and anorexia for 10 years_ I just needed "x calories" and had years a strong movement compulsion. iam now "healty bmi" but have this numbers limits in my head. i was also never realy exhausted-- due to all the cortisol-..and have hunger in the daytime. i also tryed to earn my food and tryed to live in one kind of plan to estimate how much food ineed- based on steps , my energydemands and my appearence. what about this? one part of me wanted " extremhunget" to be happen because i was depressed and searched something to enjoy?
Hi, I was wondering… usually I learned in psych wards so anorexic patients when they try to eat again that they have way too small portion sizes and for me it’s the opposite issue… I always put more on my plate that I can eat (not on purpose) and it makes me feel really guilty and makes me think I’m a big fat pig even more… I’m also worried because I eat more then im hungry for all the time… like I’m full (not uncomfortably tho) and then I fancy something else which is usually unhealthy stuff like right now a lot of chocolate things and I eat it… is that normal? Will it stop?
What I don’t get is: Does everyone need the same amount to gain weight? A bmi of 10 and a bmi of 19?Is it healthy for both to eat 5000-10.000calories in extreme hunger phases?
PLEASE HELP ME Please I been doing this for years on and off of recovery, i feel like to much weight gain and i barley move because u don't want to exercise ti makw things worse but them i feel so big. I try to eat whag i want and i can but then i freak out , i still always think of food but it looks like im over weight and i eat to much and dont move and i mean barely move because my brain is so tired and stressed out HELP ME. Did i ruin recovering because i ate the food but never changed the brain rewireing fully? So am i just overweight now or under or what?
will you do a video about losing interest in romance/people/libido when you are deep in your ED....I've almost convinced myself I'm asexual...I go on a date and find myself tuning out the other person, thinking about food the whole time, saying generic autopilot things just to keep up, pretending to be vaguely interested in what they are saying...these guys might as well be stone statues. I think that my ED may be contributing to this bc I used to have a good sex drive and be interested in men
Weight restored doesn’t mean recovered. Many people still experience extreme hunger after weight restoration and that’s totally normal! Regardless of your weight you still need to respond to your hunger.
@@emersonb.5399 But what about the development of disordered over eating? Honoring mental hunger beyond physical requirements is just greed and an excuse to eat needlessly, is it not?
@@erinpedder Mental hunger communicates a physical requirement. Your brain is not sending you hunger cues just for the fun of it - it’s sending you hunger cues because your body needs more food. It sounds like you equate weight restoration with being physically recovered, but that’s a misunderstanding of recovery. Restriction affects your entire body, not just your weight. Weight can be restored very quickly but damage to your organs, metabolism, hormones, etc. takes longer to fix, and all those repairs require massive amounts of energy (calories).
@@emersonb.5399its not always what happenes, sometimes is ruiner forever. Some People’s bodies never stops gaining. Its true. Sometimes recovery work, Sometimes one just gets more miserable
@@Alicealivealive17 I had all those same thoughts in recovery - that I would never stop gaining weight, that recovery was making everything worse, that maybe my brain was just irreparably broken. For a while I did feel worse, the thoughts became stronger than ever and I thought I had made a mistake in trying to recover. In hindsight I can see that was an inevitable, necessary part of my recovery. Of course I felt worse! I was going against everything I knew, throwing away all the things I had thought were keeping me safe. It’s awful and terrifying and all you want to do is turn back, but you have to push through. You can’t see the other side yet but it’s there, I promise. Keep going. You CAN recover. You are not the exception to the rule, despite what your eating disorder will tell you.
@@susanacristina7454 I am working out but not to burn calories it's just fun .. does that make you hungrier? Mostly I'm not restricting but I do have bad days. Never as bad as I used to be though.
@@AK-rx8gp i am also in the same way... maybe that is because im stuck in recovery for about 2 years now. I'm also saying this to myself: it is not for weight lost or because i am eating now, it is just is because i like... i guess its a big big big lie... i have to confess :( Yesterday i was reading my old diary, i was so happy about finally recoverying 2 years ago, but im still here doing exercise all the time, living in cycles. Yesterday, it was hard, i decide to do less time (i was doing f* 3 hrs per day) and rest more. It was SO SO SO HARD! Today, i am choosing doing nothing... i am literally trying to chill down and rest, even if i want to move, walk around the house, etc......... let is see how it is going. I was doing 3 hours, waking up at 4a.m., having breakfast, walking more 80 min, lunch, doing more 1 hour... eating a little fruit and having jejum for 12/13hours. Hm........... and i still thinking i was in recovery? I gesso my recovery start now. Not two years ago. Maybe this is just my third day. I wish you good luck, please, be here with me. This comment is all confusing because I'm not fluent in English and I was just reflecting to myself while writing My God, maybe writing can really be therapy and tell us the truth about ourselves. Now I'm seeing my mistakes...
Sorry if it's triggering to others don't read it if it's hard for anyone out there. Will I gain weight if no exercise? Will my body work the weight out in its own? I wear the same one pare of clothes because I can't stand to see my body HELP Me
I've had it for at least two years, and I'm fully recovered now. Make sure that you are talking about your feelings around food and not keeping them for yourself. In the end those feelings willl disappear.
Hey, I have family who are clearly overweight and have serious health issues. I do/did suffer with restriction but I feel like my mind has been split and am suspicious that you’re just telling me what part of my brain wants to hear “sit on your arse and eat chocolate and fatty sweet foods all day”. I know I have a problem but is gluttony really the answer here? Part of me thinks “I guess this makes logical sense”, another part “wooo give me all the chocolates!!!”, and another part thinks “what a load of bollocks, if I do this I’ll just become fat, sick and unfit.
I feel like everyone wants to chill and eat “junk” all day but they don’t because that’s just unrealistic. Does that mean everyone has an eating disorder? I realise that this is probs the “disordered” part of my brain talking but whats the difference between disordered and disciplined/high standards?
