Is It Selfish To CUT People Out Of Your Life? (Quiet-Quitting Friendships) | The Hop Pod Ep.49 

Have y’all ever broken up with a friend or experienced friendship quiet-quitting? Share with us your stories below 🫶🏼

If you need to end a friendship, I would recommend the quiet quitting method for most cases. The one exception is when that friendship was so deep that you really need some sort of closure to in order to work out your own hurt and pain before you can move on. Otherwise, just quit quietly. Common instances where you apply quiet quitting is when you friend didn't really commit any BIG sin against you but a constant series of little acts. Yes, people make mistakes. If your friend makes one mistake even though it's big, you can tell whether or not he meant it, if it's out of character. But if it's constant series of acts, then it shows his character as a person, even though they may be small. It may be snarky or snide remarks about you, bias treatment towards you compared to other friends in the group (eg, your suggestion are constantly shot down but others are always agreed on), lack of response in text or conversations, not finding time to be available. The problem is if you want to bring these little things up specifically, he may turn around and call you being overly dramatic or overly sensitive. And if and when you end the friendship officially, he could even use that to attack you in your own social circle by telling your common friends that you are being petty for ending the friendship. Best case scenario, you and him will be dragged into a 'courtroom battle' with your other friends deciding who is right and who is wrong. When you quiet quit, you save yourself the drama and the hassle. Your primary focus is move on and find establish NEW friendships. Not get hung up over so called friends who don't treasure you. And if those friends treasure you in the first place, they would make the effort to reach out to you again. Why should you be the one making all the effort when they don't. Another advantage is, down the line you may actually re-establish that friendship again. Their character may have changed. Without the emotional baggage of 'breaking up on a sour note' it's easier to get back together. Both sides can always use the excuse that the friendship didn't really 'break up' but just put in 'hiatus because of lack of time'.

Had to break off with a friend who was giving preferential treatment to others in the group. Shooting down my achievements, boast about their own, thinks they know a lot about life and people regret not following their advice. Refuses to address the issues when I pointed them out. Kept refusing to meet up, claiming to be busy but would hang out with other friends. I forgave this person a few times and thought it wasn't worth it anymore. I was being too tolerant.

thanks for the podcast, recently had to set really strong boundaries with my closest friend to the point we've almost cut ties. not that either of us are particularly toxic, it's just that our values and mindsets have grown too different over the years since our friendship began

Cut off few groups of friends. Dealbreaker was, when initiating meetups, people who doesnt reply, doesnt take time out. Once, Twice, then im out of the group (k thanks bye no point staying in the group chat). Rule of thumb is, people who dont put you priority don't deserve your time.

love this podcast and all 3 hosts fr

Thanks to the three of you for sharing this topic! ❤

29:25 I feel that there might be more to unpack here. It might be a cultural thing that makes it hard to find a tribe here as working adults. In some countries, it's easier. In Singapore, if you didn't become friends with your colleagues, some might never make new friends. Long work hours, great internet access, cost of entertainment, limited nature (and hence outdoor activity options) and hot humid weather makes it easy to avoid social activities since we can at the flick of fingers, get our cocktail of dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins delivered with a reel...

Joie n Q’s thoughts are so relatable ❤️ also can’t stand nic’s organic humour haha what is “y’all got like tsk* sad or not” 😂😂😂

I really love your podcast 😭😭and truly hope there will be subtitles.

simple. as you grow up plenty of quiet quit. the core group will appear when , if we vibe, we tribe. and when you up your vibe, the smaller the tribe. but I love the Taugeh Tribe.

Can we have a topic on work-related topic as well? Like how can we deal with managers who are quite bossy, micro managing, up tight and have his/her emotions everywhere

I love yalll

Such a gud podcast!

Am I a bad friend for not wanting to go for friends birthday parties? Their parties are always just drinking and playing drinking games which is not something I enjoy.

if can get along, great. if not then split. no need to be so drama

Curious what you guys’ horoscopes/birthcharts are ghahahaha

Ideally, invite those friends to come over for this podcast rather than talk about them. So we have both sides of the story. Often, the hosts of a podcast play victim in the topic knowing they are the problem/toxicator to begin with. Just saying.

I had to cut out a friend who kept promising to hang out with me several times but never committed fr, so while it hurt that the energy was not reciprocated, it felt relieving to cut her out of my life and focus on the ppl who rly make time for me 🫶