Is Letting An Addict (or Alcoholic) Live With You A Major Mistake? 

Learn how to set Healthy Boundaries With Someone Who Has An Addiction 👉🏻👉🏻 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-40fZyoCz8xU.html

We let a family member live with us on 3 separate occasions and I feel like it made things so much worse. All the drama and chaos they put our family through made me resent them to the point where I don’t care if they get better or not and that makes me feel horrible.

My 42 alcoholic daughter was living with me and she started yelling at me and calling me terrible names and then started punching me. I told her she had to leave but she refused. I called the police and she was arrested. Now my daughter hasn't talked to me in a year and hates me. She takes NO responsibility for what she did. My heart is broken. So be careful.

99% of alcoholics think it’s not a drug. Don’t separate these drugs

It is ALWAYS A MAJOR MISTAKE to allow any addicted person live with you. Never ever allow an addict into your space if you don’t want it taken overl.

In talking about the addict being in the home. I am a single mama with a 19 year old son who has been very violent along with his severe addiction to meth and fentanyl. He also has bipolar 1 disorder, of which he has self-treated with drugs since he was 12. He has severely traumatized my 16 year old daughter, myself, and my home. He actively smokes fentanyl off of foil in my home, extremely toxic! Also brings strangers into my home to do these toxic drugs. This has always been a fight. I have recently kicked him out after years and years of struggling with this in my home. I’ve done everything humanly possible to help him stabilize. He does not want to go to treatment and definitely does not want to be institutionalized again. He is sick enough that I could have him mandatory sent to the hospital but hard to catch him as he doesn’t remain in one location for any amount of time… There is no waiting for an eviction at this point, more like restraining order type deal… it’s very hard because he has struggled since birth and my heart is broken for him… just sharing my story. Any insight is always welcome.

Yes! Do not let them in they will ruin you. I tried to help a friend and the behavior is a nightmare. My home is suffering damage as well as my life they do t care about you they are above you in a fake world they live in

I feel as if giving love and empathy and compassion is key (within boundaries)! And, staying positive and encouraging is making a difference! I hope and pray everyday. 🙏🏼❤️

My husband would not get help. Every chance he got, he would shoot down a new conviction to get help. After a serious drunken episode landed him in er, he then, agreed to detox. When he was coming out, he asked if he would be welcomed back home. I said, no, because, I needed him to truly commit to getting help. He hasn't been home since. He did later announce he would be coming home at one point, but, it was an unrepentant announcement, with demands and lots of crazy talk, and, he still had not gotten any help. So, I got a protection order against him. We have three kids still at home.. While he was here, he was very abusive towards me and his children.

Very enlightening! We were in this position about five years a go with a drug and alcohol addicted brother who asked to come live with us because he was thrown out of a friends house who had had enough. We said no because we wont have addicts in the home or keep company with them He had caused terrible trouble all his life and stole from and assaulted my husband. He had a long list of felonies yet his family were angry at us for not taking him in. He eventually moved in with an old girlfriend and made her miserable. Less than a week ago he was found dead of an opioid overdose. We will not be attending the funeral.

Amanda, you are the first person I've seen with my story. Wow! Keep pressing on and fighting the good fight. Amber, I'm so grateful for you. Thank you for sharing your wisdom to help others.

I am a mom to a 31 year old daughter. She was without a roof over her head, and I told her, "Honey, you can just stay with me until you find a place of your own. 4 months later, I realized she was severely addicted to alcohol. The next 2 months after my discovery, it ended in a traumatic situation for both of us, She had a psychosis one night, and I had to call the police because there were no other options. My daughter ran out the door and broke her leg. Now she is in the hospital, and from the hospital, she texted me the most horrific messages blaming me for everything and hoped I would just die. My heart is broken. I am constantly having catastrophe thoughts, constantly thinking, 'will she survive her addiction?' Guilt and shame have replaced my blood and now run through my veins. I can't sleep, and I am now on medicine to survive the day.

I continue to sing your praise and refer you to others suffering from the chaos addiction brings. Thank you Amber for sharing your knowledge. ❤Candice

people choose getting drunk or high is easy moving forward seems to be difficult , I think I would like to be excited about something again , going straight is something to get excited about

Amber I loved this video!! Wow I can’t believe how much I learned. My addicted loved one has been to rehab multiple times in the last two or three years and every time coming out of rehab, that’s where the problem starts all over again. It’s just a vicious cycle now I know something new and some ideas to help with a sense of purpose . great video🎉🎉🎉

I wish I heard this a LONG time ago! Great podcast!

This was very helpful. Thank you

Replay. Much needed information.

Alcohol is a drug!! not only that it’s the strongest most destructive drug there is on family’s All depends on the drug they use. How you react. I really think you need to have had a addiction to have an idea. You can’t rule on someone with a addiction. Because is will cause a bigger addiction every time. The pain a addiction can cause is bigger then you could understand They’ll only hate you for judging them.

Thanks!

My 34 yr old daughter has been drinking for 15 yrs and I've been suffering too with it but last 2 yrs, she has been rehabbed and relapsed now 6 times and always come back to my house. She now sobers up a couple months, relaped for a week, texts and calls me the worst names, my fault etc... Now she goes to the mental facility and shes there now and will expect to come back here. I cant take the abuse no more, no more.... I have been through Alateen, Alanin, AA and councling sunce i was 14...she is killing me mentally and physically.. HeLp!!!

Listened to Perry's book. Really eye opening. Lots you had already expanded upon.

Wow these are all the thoughts that I have. My ex wants me to move in his home that he is buying that is $839k. Beautiful and lovely big house in MD. I have my own townhome that’s only 300k. We have children but I will not move in unless he has a sponsor, therapist or rehab counselor because it can all go down hill. People don’t understand but I do. I even said get help before you give me my 8k engagement ring. He has had the ring for 4 months now. SMH. He is in denial and won’t get help so I’ll stay living in my means for my children and I. His addictions are coke, gambling, alcohol and PCP. He think he is not an addict because he makes a lot of money with businesses. I can’t tell him nothing and I feel like his mother likes him like that to always need her. It’s all scary & hurtful. 😢

I have a 65 yo male Roomie (Apt, not home, but he's been here 6 yes, me just 2). He doesn't think he's an 'addict" bc we live in a Cannibals legal state).He smokes eve hr or 2 around the clock and has now developed Hyperemis and Insomnia, affecting my sleep. He also smokes in the living room, where my 12 yr old cat frequents. I know I need to move, but I'm on SSDI and rents have escalated so much I can't afford to live alone. Anyway, thx for this wise advise!

I am an a ~60 year old chronically ill Autistic that is trapped In isolation by the alcoholic widow of my best friend, who perished from Covid-19 two years ago. I have no where else to go, and no other family to go to for help. I endure daily psychological harm from this person. I need to get out, without jeopardizing my safety. This torture must stop, but how?

I wish I would've had this information years ago

25… I’m trying to educate local select board They are just refusing to allow prevention like fentanyl test strips at methadone treatment center and local ER! What would you suggest? My son is in MAT and he’s trying to titration off and they will NOT assist him. They’ve NEVER DINE AN EKG (8 years) or a trough level! He’s had blood clots in legs and lungs! He really feels like they want him dead or the money What would you suggest!

My AH is in the bargaining phase. He quit for 2 dsys then said he'd moderate with just 2 drinks a day, which lasted a day. Then he said he'd draw a line on his liquor bottle which also lasted a day. The good news he is drinking less and there hasn't been any negative behavior. The bad news is We've been here many times before and even though I'm encouraging him I know it won't last. How do I help move it to the next stage?

I always thought if only I had a live in person in to help me with my son. I get the delusional state. The implications with him living here were hard. It was now effecting the neighbors. Ummm so much to think about but I have HOPE!

How do you allow your grown son to continue to live with who is in recovery. He is not using. He is grown, has a job pay his own bills and his child support but we can constantly argue. When I tell him he has to find some other place to live he says he has no place to go. What do I do? I realize I have always been a control freak but I am really working on it. I am totally lost at what to do. He says he’s not leaving. But I also know he cannot afford rent, food, car payments and his child support on what he is currently making. Please help me.

What about if they have been in jail for almost 2 years? History of going in and out of jail and coming home and relapsing quickly. Longest time in jail but it’s never worked before. Will be homeless if can’t come home.

I know someone who saved their son's rent to help him move out with. I imagine that's a good plan if the person isn't in addiction too deep.

Don't do it! Sure wish I hadn't. Now I can't get him out. Ruining my life.

Yes, it really is.

If you know that they are an addict/alcoholic, DO NOT let them live in your home.

It is exhausting, know that in advance. Make sure you have your own supports as you proceed.

Is there any way i can reach you? Referring to myself😢 im alone and struggling and need someone to talk to for advice

What if it’s a spouse of 35 years … and is disabled? Lives in a scooter?? I would have to leave my home.

What if he is on the lease and won't leave and it's all my stuff and we share a cat that he says its his

Current situation am planning to relocate to a ahouse qhete he will not stay with us. He has been apologizing for his behavior but nothing changes.

He is on methadone, has infant son. Very difficult to know how to help.

Yes. Its absolutely a massive mistake. Dont even try this.

Legal eviction is tbe only way out

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