His attitude after she simply asked him what he needs tells you all you need to know about his character or the LACK of character. You get angry and "shut down" after a simple legitimate question. He's lying his ass off.
And the sad part is their attempt at emotional manipulation is so juvenile, I instantly peep it and talk to them like I would a child. No attraction whatsoever from me with arrested development people.
A person that expects you to tell them what to do, can at any minute turn on you and held you accountable for their failures. After all YOU were the one who told them what to do, so it's YOUR fault. 🤦🏾♀️
That's exactly what I was thinking. They always want you to give advice or make decisions for them, so they can say it's your fault when things don't go their way.
I've noticed that customers who are guys are more likely to ask my opinion or demand it. And I always have to tell them, pick what you like, I don't enter my opinion on customer decisions.
It’s so clear to me that he used to same sob story with other women to get them pregnant. This is the type of man who l5es and says that his baby mama is so mean to him, this and that and that he is struggling sooo much. And other gullible women who don’t understand what men are like fall for the BS and become the baby mama themselves and then he goes around to the next one and talks about her the same way to the next gullible women. It’s a cycle.
Yep! This is exactly how my father behaved when I was 19 and went to live with him after summer school for about 30 days. All he did was complain and whine full of excuses trying to talk about my mom. My mother literally NEVER talked about him 😂. I told him that. I told him let’s go forward, I’m here now! Let’s build a relationship NOW. Anywho, I’m 33 now and guess what, he literally goes around saying he missies me. HE HAS MY NUMBER 😂
@@Lastdayonebecause he wants to be seen as a victim. He never wanted you full time at all and he wants you to pretend it's something else other than the truth.
Wait! Werent men that went all 'I'm not a mind reader! Tell me what you need! Speak to me!' a few days ago? 😂 So they are not mind readers, but we need to be like, psychic and get everything right just by existing in the same room as them? No, sir. No, thank you.
The only time you should ever expect someone to be a “mind reader” is when y’all have been together for years and there’s a certain thing that never changes and they should know what you want/need them to do. This isn’t one of them, he’s acting like the child towards his own children and thus poor woman.
I imagine if the courts still wont allow it then there must be abuse allegations or something. why else would the daughter call him psycho and stuff like that
@@SupraSoulStarespecially if they didn’t do nothing as he’s claiming. Courts don’t take false accusations easily. Women lose custody quick when they go that route. 😖
@@SupraSoulStar I havent heard that. im in england and over here men with allegations wont be allowed to see their kids until they go through about a years worth of social service screening and tests
This man didn't want support or a sollution, he just wanted her to blame the mother and be coddled. There's no way he could have been fighting in court and not have any access to his child. He abandoned his child and expected her to welcome him with open arms once he showed up years later.🙄
Not even to be welcomed with open arms...he simply wanted his child to see him as a victim and to see her mother as the bad guy but the child knows better. He wants his child to pretend the situation isn't what it is and she isn't.
Only positive thing out of this is that scores of Black girls are looking at their fathers (from afar).and making better choices and refuse to pass this dysfunction on to the next generation
I am telling you guys men use work as an excuse as to not having to do emotional labor. They work a lot to avoid having to be there, they do that to do the bare minimum and then use that as a form of guilt so you do not ask for more. The moment women realize that the better.
Yes absolutely. Then when they need something from the relationship they expect everyone to go above and beyond. They put barely anything into it but want maximum benefits out. I'm glad women and ESPECIALLY their kids are saying no thank you.
This then want to be upset when the children don’t accept work as an excuse for the absence especially if their momma was working and handling business. They remember who was present and who wasn’t.
Isn’t that the whole thing men were saying with the kiwis? That we need to communicate transparently? But when they’re asked to do the same, they can’t 😭
Oh, well that's easy to answer. Most people's really bad mistakes are made when we're young. How many ppl in their teens and 20s love and respect themselves? Like, truly, honestly LOVE themselves? I'm gonna say it's pretty close to 0%. When you don't love yourself, ugly shiz WILL happen.
@@MizMorgue1to add to this he was able to find a mistress because more than likely his wife made him look like a catch. As if he was worth his weight in salt making the other woman think, if she’s that happy and stable he must be someone worth going after. Not realizing his wife was putting on as to not show what she was really going through as most wives do. Not all that glitters is gold. 🤭 I seen he didn’t say he got a gf so that lady dipped when the wife did or around the same time which solidifies my thoughts that once she found out who he really was she bounced. 😂
His daughter can now see through her dad. He wanted the lady to say oh baby…I feel your pain baby and he got upset when the lady couldn’t validate him.
She should’ve asked what type of “fighting” has he been doing? All I saw was a parasite attempting (and failed miserably) to find a new host to manipulate.
Exactly. No mother is going to turn down having the child's dad involved in their life unless something is really wrong. When years of negligence and inconsistency get to the point where you get blocked, don't expect anyone to trust your motives when you pop back up in the future. Did he even pay all his child support willingly?
I think is fair to admit that you are so lost and overwhelmed, to the point that you don't even know what help do you need. But then you have to say that. You have to verbalise it. You cannot expect people to know how to help you and shut down if they don't.
I see exactly why the baby mom got frustrated. Imagine asking the father of your child to be there for his kid and he asks dumb questions or doesn’t want to work with you fairly. I bet that was the downfall of the relationship
"The social engineering of men in this world prevents them from being able to show up in their lives in a way that helps them get the best out of themselves"...Queen in purple laying some hard facts down❣️❣️ Men aren't doing the work, don't even know HOW, because th patriarchy has never required them to learn. Loved this.👏👏👏
@@MizMorgue1 It makes me think about the mental health topic around men: "We need to talk about men's mental health. Men are commuting s*icide..." I keep on hearing it over and over again, men mentioning it on podcasts, but I haven't seen yet specific actions being taken. Like, on a larger scale. I wonder if men are expecting/waiting for women to take the lead. And I don't even say it in a judgemental way. I honestly wonder if it's like "Honey, I'm hungry..." and the wife goes of to prepare him something. Like, men are so used to have women catering to them by dropping queues... and now they verbalise that something needs to be done about men's mental health, and expect women to do something about it.
"Honey, I'm hungry." 😂 My 16-year-old son wouldn't even say this to me. I am super nurturing and I love cooking and baking for my family. I hug and kiss my husband and children. But, if someone is older than 13 and says ,"I'm hungry" instead of walking to the kitchen and making themselves some simple eggs and toast if they're hungrier than normal way before the next meal... I'd die laughing. 😂 I'd ask them if they want some milk in a bottle. 😂
@@MsFadir When males speak on their mental health and claim “women” don’t care, I always tell them to stop focusing on women and focus on themselves. If they want to be treated like women, I will treat them like women. They need to focus on themselves. They really do expect women to fix their issues and blame all their issues on women, in some way shape or form. It’s never their fault. Just like I tell women, it’s never just someone else fault, it’s equally your fault. But they don’t want to hear that. ESP if they know it came from a “female” especially a young woman. They believe they are above you if you are not a male and don’t blame all/most of male issue on women.
This sounds like me and my father. Both of my parents abandoned me actually. I was raised by my grandmother, but my father lived locally. They both blamed my grandmother, but even when I tried to establish a relationship as an adult it fell short. After a while deadbeat parents get accustomed to being deadbeats and expect you to chase them. They put a slight bit of effort once I had my son, but I could clearly see they just wanted to be grandparents, and now that it's evident my son has special needs I barely hear from either of them. I find more solace in operating as though I have no parents than chasing and begging them to be the parents they ought to be.
Please do not waste your precious time on your parents. They donot care. Spend the love and your time on your child. Just ignore. They are both useless.
Sounds like what he “needs” and wants is to endlessly complain and blame the mother of his children. He pretends to be the victim so he has an excuse to not be more involved with his children. As soon as someone offers to try to help him spend more time with his children he panics and “shuts down”.
I would love to hear from his ex wife, because I feel he's leaving a LOT out and he's no taking any responsibility about his own part in this. He's WAY too defensive.
I used to shut down on people before starting my healing journey. Now, when I see people doing it, it looks so cringey to watch such immature behaviour... I just give them grace and wish them all the best.
Her asking that question exposed the core of his real issues. He can't communicate or take accountability. His daughter is smart enough to see through his nonsense. Congrats to her.
Ugh he wants everyone around him scrambljng to guess "will this help? will this? That? Etc etc" the answer will still be "idk" or "what do you think" until all possible options have been done FOR him, ppl around are exhausted and he'll either switch up for a bit if he notices his grip on them slipping and act grateful or happy for a lil bit OR start that bs again "i have no one, no one helps me" on n on in a circle forever until everyone leaves and IF he decides to grow tf up. Do not let your empathy allow you to be controlled or manipulated by this behavior.❤
There also more taken care of than women they can afford barbeque? I work too and I still can't afford to eat that good anymore they don't realize how privileged they really are I wish I could stay home in bed all day or playing video games. They're not used to it because people have to raise boys to be more motivated than that it's not the wife or baby Mama's responsibility to help men act like responsible adults. They still act like they're the only ones paying bills too. They put their name on anything that validates them like washing a few dishes and cooking a meal is going to make up for them leaving you with a concussion or shouting at you. They know why women leave they just have trouble accepting that it was their fault.
Lemme tell you something, my father was around and abused my mom,me and my siblings so badly. Fought us,broke things and was nasty rude things. He raised hell and even allowed a grown man family member beat me up. If the daughter said he's psycho, then I believe it. Cause outside the household people see a good guy but we know the truth.
You think they block us because they really can't do shit for their kids and can't accept they suck for that? Cuz it's nothing to argue about if you just do for your kid instead of having excuses.
But when you do tell them exactly what to do, they would antagonize you by labelling you as "controlling", masculine, pushy, etc. They keep moving that goal post because they don't exactly want a solution because that would mean they have to put in some EFFORT. 😾
My first reaction was that he subconsciously assumes that all the women in his life should invest so much mental bandwidth into paying attention to everything he says and does that they would automatically *know* what he wants, without him needing to go to the effort of articulating it. Because, after all, what could women possibly have to think about but divining the subconscious desires of King Him? /sarcasm
My sister, you are a very beautiful woman, and your energy gives strength. On the other hand, men do not want to do any kind of perceived work on any relationship they have across the board.
I realize that some men are not raised to make decisions or focus on their wants. They’re used to their parents, most likely the mother, choosing for them without asking their input so they expect women to do the same. Ik a preteen boy right now who will suggest activities he’s genuinely interested in but only gets excited about it when other people agree they want to do it. If you ask him what he wants, he’ll ask what you want and he’s making general plans for his career path but it’s based on the career his parents chose because he said he thinks it will make them happy. I feel soo bad for him because boys like that turn into men like this dude
Men think women are mindreaders. He doesnt know what type of support he needs but expects his woman to? Looks like he needs his mother because mothers always know how to make things better. Hes clearly got mommy issues from childhood. Getting frustrated instead of using his words is not healthy. Go to therapy men. Just go! I dont understand why they wont just go get help.
100%! He is crying out for support, but doesn't know what he needs. He wants her to solve his problems. Just figure it out and solve it for him and if she fails, then she's a good for nothing or a fraud. I'm a case manager and I deal with these type of men all the time. It's exhausting. Lol, now that his daughter is one year away from being an adult he wants to be there?
So he blocked mom, but still expects to have a relationship with minor daughter. That's not how that works, luv. Even if mom is evil, now she has all the control.
My son is 14 now and for years has shown little to no interest in being around his father because of his actions. Things he has witnessed in his care, regarding his behavior and how he spends time with him.
Sometimes they start “fighting” for a relationship once the child is older, once they’ve passed the child support years or once the end of the child support period is approaching. That way , they can pretend like they were prevented before by a problematic baby mama. They want to do the minimum or nothing at all and still come up smelling like roses. Some “baby mamas” are problematic, but by far, a good co-parenting father who doesn’t demand sexual access as a prerequisite to supporting his child and who will help with the emotional and financial needs of the child is all the “baby mama” is asking for. That type of father is welcomed. That guy has no right to be angry at his daughter, not everyone will fall for his manipulation. He’s the type of dude that older women are warning their daughters about nowadays. Men are notorious for finding ways of doing things that are not legal all the time, like the guy who came to his daughter’s birthday party and murdered her pregnant mother. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Make a way for doing the right thing instead of going on a podcast tour to complain about your own daughter and her mother.
She's good for asking him what kind of support he needed. I would have told him to go get therapy from a man and try to absorb as much as that as possible. Because he is indeed the problem.
Wait, so they need a list and instructions with pictures included just to buy groceries. Meanwhile we are expected to have the correct response for one particular person,in any scenario, which we can not relate to in order to be a good partner?
Okg, I saw this & it was sooo cringe! He can’t even describe what he needs from this woman he’s expecting the stranger to cuddle him and tell him how to make it better and he’s probably doing the same thing to his kids while he was a deadbeat dad
People do not state their intentions if they are approaching you for the wrong reasons. Relationships should have partners that grow with you and where you push each other to be better....not I see what you have and I want to use you until I find a better resource.🙄
I would venture to guess, he doesn’t know how to communicate his needs. This is an example of a man w/ no vision who can’t/won’t accept accountability for HIS ACTIONS.
Y’all saying she’s 17 now he doesn’t have to deal with the mama but the reality is he no longer has to raise her!! This man also wanted this woman to tell him what he’d need, he doesn’t know!! He got an attitude as if she’s supposed to appease him when that is not her job. That is his own job! That woman is not a mind reader she is a relationship/life coach!
It’s so clear to me that he used to same sob story with other women to get them pregnant. This is the type of man who l5es and says that his baby mama is so mean to him, this and that and that he is struggling sooo much. And other gullible women who don’t understand what men are like fall for the BS and become the baby mama themselves and then he goes around to the next one and talks about her the same way to the next gullible women. It’s a cycle.
This is what this fool calls "fighting for custody". Running around asking people what to do, while expecting empathy. He should have gone to a lawyer, if he was so interested in being part of his daughter's life! 😒
@@MsFadirAnd while at the lawyers, he needs to use his words. Learn to communicate. Shutting down when the conversation gets uncomfortable is immature 🤦🏽♀️
He wanted her to do EVERYTHING IN HER POWER TO DO, whatever emotional and physical labor she could muster for him. That’s why he couldn’t be specific and was angry about her asking. You’re right, he’s used to being coddled and enabled for being a deadbeat and a horrible person. His daughter is correct, he’s psychotic🎯
These people that don’t express themselves CHOOSE not to. They cannot do so because of patriarchy not because of women! Society has told you not to express yourself! Society has told you it isn’t normal. I see women BEGGING for men to open up & chat. They literally trauma dump about a time they did or didn’t & was punished by a woman. This is a tiring conversation.
There are lots of ways you can support if you do the wrong thing the other person won't feel supported. Do you need emotional support because of thr ruined relationship? Do you need advice on what to say to fix the relationship? Do you want me to help you find legal help? Do you want reassurance? Do you want me to reach out to your BM or daughter?
It is a real thing when women deliberately alienate the kids from their fathers - not sure if that is actually happening with this guy HOWEVER he needs to be able to articulate what he needs for support. That is a human life skill
Time stamp- 6.00, It's easy for her to say that, becsuse she's a woman. The question is, why should a dad have to fight for the rite to be with his own children? Did he not help conceive them? The laws need to be fixed, so that this position of child custody doesn't allow for a woman to take a tyranical position in the role of a custodial parent. Getting in the way, and refusing a dad the rite to spend quality time and help raise his children.
Whether you like it or not, the man barely helps with getting the child on this planet. He squirts.. ONCE. And then the woman grows the baby for NINE months. Thats a whole lot of work.
Women are the carriers of life here. Women are not tyrannical for being the parant to take care of the children. They deserve respect for doing such a tough job. The Dads should fight for their babies if they truly care enough. I just think a lot of men use "crazy baby mama!!" as an excuse to not see their kids and also to not get shamed for ditching them.
@@pretendok6925 most males ONLY want custody so they don't have to pay child support!! The reason men HAVE to fight is because the woman apparently has been doing it without him!!! If you go to court and can prove you're a invested father you'll get what you want but most men don't even know their kids birthday!!! 🙄
Because the bonds between mothers and kids is stronger, it goes beyond a simple relationship, women biologically and emotionally go through the process of being a parent, from birth to nurturing to raising, men do only part of the raising.
0:33 sorry but if your daughter is 17 years old, she’s old enough to know you’re not shit 😂. Also, the way in which this woman communicate is EXACTLY how I communicate. I will ask: how can I show up for you? What is your expectation of me? These are questions that ppl use to properly communicate. He’s a child. Now I believe the daughter.
