As someone who believes in the importance of being equally yoked, the moment I realize that our core values don't align, I'll respectfully end the relationship. If our core values don't align, there's no point in continuing the process of getting to know each other. Being equally yoked is so important. I wish more people stood on that principle.
@@conversationswithadriannebrokenness, moving too fast to name a couple... I did this to myself a few years ago and after 5 years of hell and a child I have since then left.. as I began to find myself, get in therapy and pursue God. The healing began.. I would never even entertain the idea of being with someone who's unequally yoked. But it's like I was so broken it made me subconsciously desperate. Stupid to put it frankly... forcing something that I knew deep down just wasn't working... focusing only on the good to make it through. But I had to realize that having good moments doesn't make it a good relationship..it doesn't matter what a person says or what they do for you, it matters how that make you feel and when I was honest with myself I realized that even in the "good" moments I wasn't fully enjoying then because foundation was just off. There are many ways people can end up in a relationship with someone they arent equally yoked with.. this is just my story, hopefully it helps sis❤!
@@conversationswithadriannesometimes we feel we can change that person. Or base it on hope. I was guilty of that. No you're not going to agree on everything but where is the foundation?
Excellent video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her..
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
@@ladyonthecoast Yes, it was! It's a decision that I have to live with for the rest of my life. My mental health is in a much better place now. You can't take care of others if you're not taking care of yourself.
@calvinmack7124 I'm glad you are in a better place now. I know going through the process feels like purgatory. You are so right, though. I have always heard it said, 'You can't give from an empty well.'
@@ladyonthecoast appreciate it! Purgatory sums it up... Overwhelmingly distraught! I didn't even have a spoon to my name. I had to find a new job/new place/rebuild everything all while finding who I am as an individual. It's definitely a mental process.
@@calvinmack7124Takes a strong person to make that decision and start from scratch pretty much. I’ve been there and am Happy you were able to find peace down the line.
One of the biggest cures to toxic relationships. I told so many you can not fix toxic things. You have to exit. No fixing it. No tolerance. Just leave. No matter what you have to do. What he said is so true.
I whole heartedly agree!!! Once I noticed that he did not care about hiding that he was talking to other women around me and the resentment was very loud. I started my exit plan. At first I was scared because all the fears ran rampant in my mind about all the what ifs but then I realized that I had the upper hand because i built up both of us. I was the driven one, the educated one and the brains behind our success! I packed all my stuff in my cargo van and bounced!!!! Not even a week later he called me because he was fired from the job I did his resume to help him get. It was then that I realized he only wanted the access I provided him. I stayed in that relationship 5 years too long. I left him in 2019, I been on the up and things for him haven’t been working out. Just like Trip said I was in that window of there’s nothing more I could or was wiling to do!!!! At that point I had to show up for me!!!
Ive been to the point where there was nothing else i could do. Its the most painful thing to let someone go when you still love them but its better to in the long run
Too many Godless pookies & pookieshas are new age pseudo "life coaches" who act as if they're dropping gems but it's mostly feminist, emasculated rhetoric that is purely subjective & personal or just made up to sound intelligent to get attention, applause and notoriety...💯
The best lesson I ever learned was realizing and accepting the FACT that I wasn't the one for my spouse. It was an epiphany, I wasn't sad, angry and had no regret. We had an amicable split. Two things can't occupy the same space at the same time, you have to be willing to simply let go to allow something else in. Ase.
He is absolutely right on this 💯%. It's not easy but pray to God ut first then get yoyr money right. If yall have kids then start planning for that 2 week or 1 week on and off situation because that's coming. Don't get petty. Do it gracefully. If they wrong you, let God deal with them their absence will be one of your biggest blessings. It will hurt at first but on time you will see. There's no price on your peace 🙏
YESSUH, I AM A LIVING TESTIMONY. I STARTED WORKING ON MY EXIT PLAN IN 2006 AND IN 2007 I WAS EMBARKING ON NEW BEGINNINGS. NOW LIVING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF JOY, HAPPINESS, PEACE, SAFETY & PRIVACY IS NOT UP FOR NEGOTIATION.
Exit plan I have been advising everyone about having a exit plan for years. I learned this 20yrs ago in my own situation having a exit plan from any good or bad situations is a must. being able to protect ones own agenda is paramount to your ability to grow up and fly right. Be easy my friends 🎉🎉
Lord I have a very intelligent brother from my mother that gives great advice and I thank u for him. But I would love to be his friend. If he's married I say this with all respect, also good intentions. I say this because I don't really ever disagree with what he says and he says it with grace I love it and him. Father continue to bless and keep this man strong on his journey with u. In Jesus Christ name I pray Amen. U are everything God says u are, ur very special. U have a gift....u are a gift....I love to hear u speak.....
I’m in a shitty toxic one sided relationship and this shit is mentally tough. This woman can vent to me about whatever she going through or how she feels about me. However, the moment I express how I feel or vent to this woman I get interrupted, she’s passive aggressive, and highly defensive. So I’m at point just cut ties and be along fuck love
This message is for black men that you should have an exit plan as early as the first half year of your relationship to mitigate losses if the break up so happens.
Yeah when I was in them moments and understood there's nothing else I can show this individual with my presence had to give him my absence...mental health is very important
My ex said if you are so unhappy why don’t you leave the marriage? If you think I’m so wrong why are you still her? Remember you have to take you wherever you go, you will always have your problems, but I’m not leaving, I’m not the problem. You know nothing about marriage, you have never been married before, like me. Go leave, bet you can’t this time. You tried before and no one wants you. I left with my kids and did not look back. Heard that he spread lies to everyone about me and then tried to ask for me to go back. If any relationship gets to this point then ladies walk away and stay away. Let them stay alone.
Back story: Son makes breakfast in the morning and leaves a mess in the kitchen; dad takes son to school every morning after walking the dog. I want dad (my husband) to make sure that our son cleans up his mess before leaving the house. Husband: "How do I make sure that he cleans up his mess if I'm asleep?" (he's not sleep, he wakes our son up). Me: "You smell the food he's cooking, you know he's gotta clean it up." Him: "My brain don't work that way." Me: "So you're saying that your brain don't work that way and you can't tell our son to clean up his mess after making breakfast?" Him: "Why you make that sound negative?" How do I make this sound positive?
I don’t think “making it sound positive” is the issue here. Y’all have a communication problem, and these little things are only going to get worse. He might be stubborn or whatever else, just take your time, calmly and non-combatively, without emotions, have a conversation about how to solve the problem. Compromise if you have to. It’s hard to argue with someone who doesn’t want to argue Rn you’re arguing about smelling food and waking up and that isn’t taking you nowhere
@@rtj2397where did you read that she asked the husband to clean it up? she specifically said the husband needs to make sure the son cleans up.. did you just want to respond without actually reading?
Real Talk Plain Simple Facts: 💯 Lenny Williams' song sound very good but it also turned men into stalkers but if somebody Dnt want U, let them go. Be Bless Not Stress & work on you
Spoken Truthfully as well as elegantly....we all understand that peace in any type of relationship is needed in order for it to work and be wholesome individuals.❤❤❤❤❤❤
Each person and relationship is dif. If u all stop treating a man or a woman like they are every man or woman. And acknowledge them intently as an individual. And your relationship as unique and stop taking advice from whoever then it will go farther.
Wish I'd heard these words decades ago. 33 years in a marriage, two good people not good for each other. Dedication and commitment is a good thing, if they are a part of growth and progress, they are incredibly damaging when they are a part of maintaning something unhealthy. Now separate, we are both growing, in different directions of course. Wish her the best, but our paths are diverged now.
He is spot on. I know someone who's marriage is like that. They are steadily sticking around with each other on a effed up marriage. There has been multiple cheating, limited communication. They're putting on a act to their congregation and some family. They Stupid and it's irkin me
Now all theses lady will go home and say "it not because u cant it because u wont yep and thats what yo problem is u never step up for me, u never be a man cause u dont want to, u never this is that." #1 of ladies is listening to other people.
After dating for a few months and realizing that he wasn’t over his ex while feeding me “the trajectory we are on is for you to be my lady” I simply made a mental note and had an end date.
If he's referring to dating then this is what I have to say: Dating as it's done in modern times should NOT exist. Dating and/or bf/gf "relationships" have led people to function in a hybrid marital status where you have single/unmarried people thinking and behaving as if they're married and I believe that dynamic creates many many many preventable problems. Cheating is the single version of adultery. Breaking up is the single version of divorce. Having an ex is similar to having an ex-husband or ex-wife. "Being together" or "being in a relationship" is the single version of being married, etc. I think single people's and married people's lives should look and sound COMPLETELY different and problems like this would become much less frequent. I would even go so far as to say the world would be a better place.
Marriage is a completely made up concept that has no actual stake in complicated human relationships.. historically it’s been used as a way to incentivize treating women as property and these days, it’s nothing more than a way for the government to track your love life… get off it.
I wouldn’t know…….I’ve never left a relationship, situation-ship, fling etc. the other person checked out before I did and i responded. Whether they didn’t keep things going, left for another, or just down right disrespectful……I wasn’t ever the first to get up and leave.
lack of respect true love thrives on respect if your partner belittles your feelings boundaries and dreams it might be a red flag inconsistent effort love requires constant effort from both sides while one seams invested and one remains distant might be a sign of imbalance secretive behavior opening is key if your partner keeps secrets or avoid sharing important aspects of their life with you it’s time to have a conversation conditional care five signs of fake love most people avoid the last one remember you deserve a love that uplifts you and in powers you
My advice:Some ppl require a lil patience and end up changing as a better person/spirit. Trust me i kno. But that is a rare cause tho. It can happen also depends on the person💯
Most of the time if a man can but dont its becaue YOU didnt make him want to. So ask him what type of action from what type of lady will make him treat himself and her like royalty.
