Is Your Ex Dating Someone New That's Actually Good News 

Who wants to go back with someone who's been sleeping with another person after you? Not me... Love yourself.

Just had this, girl i was seeing a few months ago. Found out shes seeing someone new. Felt really bummed out at first, but it actually made me feel better about the whole thing. Now i wont spend my time looking for signs, looking for breadcrumbs etc. I feel liberated

I don't fancy being my husbands rebound after he was with the rebound. I don't take sloppy seconds. The rebound can have mine!

My ex just left me two weeks ago and she's met someone new, she's planning on proposing to him on Christmas Day. I'm devastated. I can't eat, I can't sleep and when I do sleep I have nightmares about the breakup. I'm heartbroken. Thing is I still love her and I always will. I want her back so much. I'd do anything to win her back. We're trying to be friends, but I'm scared that if she does propose it's gonna tip me over the edge.

This goes completely against the no contact rule. Where they can't miss you

"break up industry". You already know what these videos are about

of course it’s good news. now someone else will go through the same pain as I did

So it's over. I wasn't better. I wasn't with him long enough. We were not more serious than they are. she has a secure attachment, so if he's avoidant, he will become secure with her while he sees me as toxic and since she showed up, he became completely distant from me and doesn't talk to me AT ALL. Took days to reply to one message I sent and never replied to another where I was being his friend. So...I can't "be there". Because he doesn't want me there. He's happy with her. He was not happy with me.

You’re keeping me sane right now

I'm still in no contqct from the first break up. Buuuut I'm indirect present. We share same community of people. Parallel lives. And it drives him crazy. I'll present myself again soon. He needs more quiet time. And even when I do present myself it will only be me in body. Not one on one and me reaching out. And I'm sticking firm on JUST friends when I show up again

My ex found someone better so she did replace me

What ? Take someone back ????????

Sounds impossible for her to come back

What if he finds someone new in the last stage? And dates her, not me.

Please help me understand ! 1) we knew each other for 20 years, almost 18 years of marriage, and two kids together. 2) we broke up at the end of August 2022, and she started dating two weeks later, middle of September 2022 3) she was dating a guy in October and November 2022, but then came back to me at the end of November, and she was hot and cold, but we were still seeing each other in December, January, and February 2023… there were numerous times when she told me that she does not have any feelings or emotions or connection to me, but other times we were fine and sleeping together… she would also say that she was confused. 4) end of February 2023 she cut me off again, and at the end of March 2023 (recently) she went back to the same guy that she was seeing in October and November 2022… now she’s telling me that she is in a relationship with him, she has feelings for him, she loves him, and they have already been sleeping together. 5) she has been continuously telling me to start dating and for me to move on… what should I do? What can I do? Is it over for us? Please help me understand 🙏

I'm in new relationship still want my ex

My ex won't stop chatting to me and just said he loves me and he's girlfirend

After someone dumps you and goes for someone else, they devalue everything you two had. If you were good to them and they took you for granted because of it, never take them back and let them face life without you, let them settle for your downgrades and you reinvent yourself back to that confident individual who isn't afraid of commitment. Relationships require sharing respect, dreams, understanding and empathy. Those that check out cause they're bored and lazy to ride out the everyday struggles, they're worth absolutely nothing to anyone including themselves. Only take an ex back if they make up for all the pain they've caused you and prove their worth, but do not count on it as they're unlikely to ever admit that they were the problem.

They come back after dating someone new because they realise that they can't replace you!

Honestly the only reason I want her to come back is to smash her hopes into the ground. No one deserves to be a backup.

Honestly, I think it's easier to move on and do stuff for yourself for a while. I had two break ups in a year. First one was a 4 year relationship i ended as I felt we were both settling. The second was a 5 month relationship with someone who I believe is a narcissist who did not treat me well. 6 months post breakup and 5 months of no contact later, I'm doing really well ALONE! Got a new job, starting a business....things are looking up 😊 Not ready to start dating again as I know I'm not quite over my ex and that would be unfair to me and the people I would be going on dates with. I think instead of trying to get your ex back, give it time and try to enjoy your life ....let them do whatever they want. At the end of the day it's YOUR life. I don't wanna waste any more time thinking about my ex, this is my time to live ☺️❤️

Honestly, the only good and healthy way to reconnect with an ex is to get yourself into a state where it doesn’t matter if you get back with them or not. You need to take time away from them and let everything quiet down. Now would you say in that time you’re not dating them that you shouldn’t try things with someone new if you get the opportunity? Of course not. So why does it matter if they do? At the end of the day if that new person ends up marrying them then they were meant to be and you were not. But most of the time it’ll end just like your relationship. You shouldn’t worry about it, just enjoy your life and be someone your ex, or someone else, would want to get to know again.

Avoidants move on very fast

I don't want her after she done been in these streets

Nah, Stay no contact.

The being there method can also make a controlling ex think she can walk all over you with some other partner if things get rough because she expects you to stick around no matter what. So it really depends on the situation, the type of girl, etc. Don't do that shit with people who cheated, found a rebound fast, or flirted with other people while you were together.

Why would anyone want someone back after they’ve been with someone else? That’s disgusting. They literally have lost all value at that point . Obviously they didn’t love , they were able to be with someone else . That’s not love . And since they’ve done what they did, they can’t be trusted not to do it again .

So im curious let's say the ex comes back. I haven't stop thinking about her I miss and love her but I can't get over the fact she didn't choose me. So should I even try because I feel like if she came back I would feel like I was a last resort. I don't even know if I could even trust their love anymore. Guess I should just continue working on myself and being more secure within myself. Maybe I'm just lonely and fantasize about her coming back idk lol.

Once they get intimate with someone else and want to come back, it's bye forever

Ex was dating someone new, they broke up two days ago and she’s heart broken, it hurt me that’s she’s feeling this way and she’s been reaching out to tell me about it. I’ve tried being supportive but also told her how she’s feeling now is how I’ve been since she left me

Smart as always,...especially if we watch the video about why to take him back, and the other about how to move on. Life gives you surprises, but good luck has to find you working! ❤

Everyone of my exes ended up with there life husband's right after me...

So basically, friend zone yourself. Umm, NO!

Do you really want to get back with an ex who is an Avoidant? Hell no, especially if they haven't dealt with their toxic behaviours and childhood traumas. They are ticking time bombs

Isnt being there method opposite of no-contact?

In other words, it’s a waste of time to go back to a fearful avoidant ex. I don’t know why anyone bothers. You know what you’re going to get based on the past. That’s the definition of crazy.

But he watches all my stories and wants to stay friends while asking me if i'm seeing someone🙄

She blocked me after a argue, now she has feelings for someone else and sees me in a negative light (as a manipulator, stalker, etc.). I think it's over, and she won't come back, even if she has an avoidant attachment style

If they said no to you once, you're never good enough again. Don't fall for it. Don't hope. The second they end it, they are dead as far as you're concerned.

This is always great news once you keep looking forward and not back.

thanks chris, can I go back to no contact if i already used being there method while my ex in honeymoon period?

My exwife and I havs been on and off for 15 years. This time shes head ovee heels for her new man. At least that what she acts like.. it hearts my heart but I am healthier without her. Day by day is easier.

Everything is based on maturity. If they move on term it a rebound or whatever, if they are matured enough and says, im done changing colours or chasing happiness, I'll stay here no matter what and I'll work on it

I am a DA but I'm not the one that rebound, I have dealing my problem. I believe my ex was an AP she rebounded as soon as left.

She cries and says she loves me but isn’t ready for a relationship. I don’t know what I’ll do if she’s with someone else. Four months and it feels like it was yesterday.

Just over his high body count just to prove he can get over me. He never will

Hi Chris, thx you for the videos they have been helping me a lot. I come here since my ex dumped almost 3 weeks ago. Your attachment style videos helped me see that I am anxious and she is a dismissive avoidant. I am in no contact with her and it’s day 17 out of 90. Since the last time we spoke. So my question is what does a FEMALE dismissive avoidant go through during no contact? Is it the same as a male DA or different? Also is it possible to get them back? If so, how? Side note: my avoidant ex has also used the infamous lines of “I’m not ready, you deserve better, it won’t work in the future”

This is a FANTASTIC video Chris. I love your approach. Thanks so much for your research, technique, and application. My DA is in a rebound right now. We loved each other incredibly deeply but insecurity wedged us apart from both sides. I want to be with her again, and am hopeful the rebound ends and she finds the feelings to reach back to me. Right now, I am carefully riding the line between detaching myself from all outcomes and growing myself, while also being prepared and educated in case we rekindle something. Your videos have helped me greatly during this time. Thank you!

I really don’t want him back I’m glad he moved on. I need to move on too. It’s been 5 years. He’s been dating probably almost everyone in Germany and United States no thanks🤮. But I think he’s trying to say people want what they can’t have 😅 my ex goes through that cycle 😂he says everyone cheats on him. Plus it doesn’t bother me. My exes mom still talks to me like we’re dating she’s not close to the new girlfriend

Ex text me, wanted a booty call while with rebound. I went off at him sent her the texts. They’re still together. Have I ruined the being there method? Should I reach out to him?

Is this about if they came out of a long term relationship? Do they ever go back to one of the rebounds or short relationships after breaking up with them and dating other people?

Pretty sure he’s an avoidant but that he hates me.

An "avoidant?" What the hell. Endless new terms to continue to objectify ourselves.

I'm a DA/FA. Why are all the videos about DA being the dumper? What at as a dumpee?

My ex is getting serious to her new relationship eventhough she said she loves me before we broke up. She dumped me because she didn't see direction to our relationship. What should I do to get her back?

My ex left ny state 5 years ago

It is true that I am a Nigerian and I want to see that I am in a relationship with a girl from another country in Amman. I don't know how to find someone who will take care of me.

Que sera, sera.

Wait, so how does the “being there” method work with “no contact” ?

I don't get this... some say be there some say no contact... i am confused

My ex wife of 23 years just informed me she is seeing someone which devastated me

So do i still post as normal ect and wait for them to reach out or can i send menes ect

If so an true thank you thank God no longer my burden or problem now maybe I can heal not from a break up or person bur go deeper from the hovering devaluing always in fear going to try an love bomb not fear but a monkey on shoulder watching hoping it never happens but have the eyes of monkey looking out for me

Does this apply to both the dumper and the dumpee?

If so an true thank you thank God no longer my burden or problem now maybe I can heal not from a break up or person bur go deeper from the hovering devaluing always in fear going to try an love bomb not fear but a monkey on shoulder watching hoping it never happens but have the eyes of monkey looking out for me

How about if my ex went back to his ex? 😢 I was with him for 10 months. He broke up with me and went back to his ex.

Yep, that’s her

He still contacts me, he left me and has new one. I really don’t like it now, I feel I cannot get over if I keep talking to him, but I don’t know how to stop talking to him forever.

Well this is a vwry interesting idea in this video

Your shit with comments

Getting back with an ex is gross

Apparently I ruined my exes new years because I saw he was online on discord and told him to celebrate with the rest, referring to our friends who originally was his friend group, and their celebration in discord that I wasn't a part of as I was away celebrating with my own friend. His new girlfriend saw the message and misunderstood it as me telling him to celebrate with me, and got super jealous, leading to an argument. He complained to our friends earlier today saying how he was having a nice new years until I ruined it, and when I talked to them alone later I was confused as to how telling him he should celebrate with them and then wishing him a happy new years ruined anything. I showed them the messages I had sent him and everyone started laughing hysterically because my actions truly were completely innocent, and didn't match his recount of the situation at all. I'm happy to say that it looks like the being there method is working, but I believe your actions truly have to be intended as innocent for them to work. I didn't message him to ruin his night, I messaged him because I care about him and wanted him to have fun with his friends, just like I was having fun with mine. I have completely friendzoned myself and I'm honestly fine with just being friends with him. I want him back, but I don't need him back, and I'm not going to maliciously try to sabotage his relationship. If the relationship truly is a good one me being there as just a friend would not be a threat to the relationship at all. But if my presence is a threat it tells me this relationship isn't a good one, and probably won't last. I don't know if I want him back as a boyfriend, but I do enjoy his presence as a friend so I will keep doing as I have so far and we will see what happens. Most important part is to love yourself, and it took me a long time but I finally feel like I made it. Life is smiling at the moment, and I smile back!

I really like your videos and like how you always try to encourage people to actually move on from their ex. Sadly people dont want to do that, they actually want to make their ex's new partner insecure as a demented strategy to get them back

Probably the reason is because I keep you as a option

My man and I dated once 10 years ago. We stayed friends after we broke up. Been back together for over a year now. It's rocky, he won't let me go. We've done everything together. And that includes crying. Its okay for me to hold my man while he's crying. To comfort and sooth each other. Have you experienced the death wheel with the same person? 8th death wheel concept doesn't apply to my relationship