It's NOT all DOWNTON ABBEY - My Life Marrying into the British Aristocracy 

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The best etiquette tip I got from Downton Abbey was that etiquette means knowing which fork to use, but good manners means not letting on when someone uses the wrong one. I really like that sentiment.

When I was about eight years old my family was invited to a big dinner party by friends of my parents. We were all sitting around the table eating when Mom looked shocked and hissed at me, “What do you think you are doing?!” I looked at her wide-eyed and said I was just eating my soup, and she hissed back that was not soup, that was the gravy for everyone. Oh, my gosh! I was eating the gravy out of the gravy boat - I was so embarrassed!

Finally an American aristocrat who appreciate English history and culture. Another level of class. Compliments.

I love that you take full advantage of this incredible opportunity to learn the family history and share with us and you do really good job.

I love that you are teaching etiquette that sadly isn’t taught in the states. I also had a few mishaps but was at a smart dinner party. Italian rules are also very different but perhaps very similar to the UK. It’s fun to learn for sure but nerve wracking in the moment

When I was little, in my etiquette classes we learned that when you are asked to pass the salt, you need to pass both the salt and the pepper. They go as pairs, not separately and what you say was right, never across the table but in the shortest distance to the person asking for it.

It would have been heartbreaking for those families to see their homes in that state and have to lose that part of their history. Im sure the huge loss of a number of heirs during the war also forced their hands

I admire you for learning and respecting about your husbands family's history and tradition.

Again, back in 1970, when I was a study abroad student at the University of York, another American and I traveled down to London by train. At some point we were feeling peckish but a full English tea was beyond our budget so I took it upon myself to convince the server to sell us a roll. He was as adamant in his refusal as I was relentless in my plea: "just one roll for us to share", as my friend doggedly tried to drag me away. Anne, I said, "its just one roll, and we'll pay for it". At this point he piped up, "Love to mum, but the guvner wouldn't let me." The ensuing scene was like something out of a cartoon when one character yanks the other out of the situation with the crook end of a cane. We both went flying down the carriage aisle as I realized he was referring to a 'roll in the hay'. Speaking of a faux pas!

Love your channel. My daughter has dual citizenship and lives in London with a country home here in Canada, so I spend lots of time in the UK and have run into differences. I have toured many of the amazing incredible country homes and they are absolutely beautiful!! This is a lovely treat to relax with a cup of tea and watch your channel! 😊

I recently discovered your channel. I do love it. As an American great granddaughter (x14) of James IV (there are a lot of us), I was DRILLED on etiquette from my grandmother. She felt etiquette was essential for success. I think I’m the only person among my friends who knows the difference between French service and Russian service, and what every SILVERWARE (😉)piece is for. I always loved hats and have several. I miss England desperately (stupid Covid) and cannot wait to return. Very much enjoy your videos.

When you think about it, the 'truth' that the family says makes sense. He very likely had 'sandwiches' at his desk, alone. The 'rumor' of cards probably came about from it being the first time other people actually saw 'the sandwich ' being presented and eaten. They wouldn't have known that this was a usual because he had had it the privacy of his den before then.

I wore a boater hat and a red suit to a wedding (I live in Texas) ( I thought I looked very smart) and a woman walked up to me and looked me up and down and walked off without saying a word…wow! I just held my head high! Later an elderly man told me how stylish I looked with my hat how he loved a woman in a hat! I still wear hats and have a little collection of them. It’s a shame that American women don’t wear hats! They are such a beautiful accessory to an elegant outfit.

As always, so entertaining! This has inspired me with a fun idea! I am a preschool teacher and think it would be fun to have a dress-up tea party...hats and tea cups! Right now, I am just trying to teach them to use a plastic fork instead of slobby fingers!

When laying a formal table, each setting should have a "salt cellar" in front of it. These are usually crystal but can be china, and accompanied by a salt spoon. Pepper pots should also be sufficient in number that there is no need to pass anything. On a not quite so formal table there should again be sufficient salt and pepper shakers the nobody need reach. This ideally means a pair of shakers for every two people seated at table. Having cooked and served 5 and 6 course meals to friends I know how much work and care it takes to lay the table properly and how many pieces of china, crystal, and silver it requires. Almost mind- boggling.

I’ve watched a few of these videos now and I think you are amazing the way you have adjusted to a a different country as a well as a very different culture and have succeeded very well. I also enjoy the fact that you maintained your American-ness! You are a truly authentic person! Cheers from Fort Myers Florida!

What a very interesting video, and, I'm in awe of your knowledge and intelligence. It's great to see someone so vibrantly celebrating history, as well as keeping traditions alive. I would love it if my band could come and play at the country house one day.

Love the hats, Julie! Alberta is a great choice for your dissertation topic. About the salt, we were always taught not to pass just the salt, but to always pass it with the pepper. Maybe that's an American thing? We always had to pass the salt and pepper together.

I'd only comment that some of the things you talk about not being in practice in America are alive and well in the older areas of Virginia (Norfolk/Richmond), and probably older cities like Boston, Savannah, etc., at least with my mother's generation and before. Some of them are simplified from the traditions of British aristocracy, but others are at least indirectly preserved in one way or another. This comment was inspired by your comment about silverware. In my grandmother's house, "the silverware" or "the silver" was in the silverware chest and used only for special occasions. The general term for flatware was generally "forks and knives" as best I can remember (and that's often how it's referred to in my house as well).

My Grandmother 's Butler many years ago said to me ."Once the standards are gone there gone for ever." Ever since I kept high standards also I learned how to do hospital corners in the military in basic training.

I wear hats often in the Spring/Summer for lineage society events. I grew up in the South where etiquette is key-I was setting the table from an early age and have passed down so many rules to my daughters. It’s fun!

Hello Viscountess! What fun to find you! Really enjoyed the video and will watch more! I love the big houses and have worked restoring Victorians in San Francisco for years. Thanks so much for sharing your unique perspective ~ looking forward to more! Happy New Year!

Love your videos. I just moved to japan but have been in Asia for the past 7.5 yrs so i find it fascinating to learn about your fish out of water experiences.

How wonderful to come across your channel! It is of special interest to me, living in the beautiful county of Dorset (Poole) myself - very much looking forward to catching up with your previous and future videos! Thank you!

I thankfully learned so much about table etiquette while working as a teenager in Germany at a NATO Officer’s Club…it was very overwhelming at first but with observing it daily there while setting up the tables and serving, you learn quickly lol! Had it not been for that I would still be in the dark!!

Greetings from NYC! I am new to your website and loving every minute of it. I have to compliment you for being so down to earth and goofy and funny and yet endearing. More power to you and your family!

Loved the history of this. Thank you for sharing your life so eloquently and humbly.

I love your posts. Of interest [to me], John Alden and Pricilla Mullins came over on the Mayflower in 1620. They are my 11 times grandparents and I am very proud of it. Please keep up entertaining and teaching us the workings of you beautiful estate.

I wish it was my home when I see you sitting in the kitchen area. But I couldn’t possibly take the care it needs for granted. I think restoration of these manor homes is an on going generational project. All your history of these houses is impressive.

Love your content and the gumption it takes to face learning a thousand yrs of husbands history. My father's fam came from england to Virginia in late 1600s or early 1700. My maiden name (WIGINGTON OR WIGGINTON) is same as 2 villages (in yorkshire, Staffordshire and possibly 1 other) but ...u suffer from sane american affliction as I do, talking with your hands. My father says he has to duck when I'm talking. Keep up ur channel. LOVE IT!

I love you!! An American fan from Los Angeles. Love your channel. Very entertaining and very educational. Keep it up

As someone who lived in England for a few years, watching your channel brings back fond memories. I will be watching more of your channel!

I wear hats all the time! I just love them. I will never tell my faux pas! 😂🤣 Thank you for your videos. Absolutely love them. Happy Holidays!

I haven’t seen you in so long.. I am so happy I found you again!!! I’ve missed you. Such a great video and channel!

So much fun. Love this! Bless you

I just ran across your channel.I was a big fan of the show that you did with other English ladies.Cant wait to get right into this channel.Thank You.

I’m very happy to run across your channel, as I was a big fan of Ladies of London. I’m also interested in British aristocracy and history.

Haha I was feeling I had the advantage knowing about table etiquette - growing up as an armies brat - didn't know about "passing the salt". I always learn something from your vlogs! Thank you.

I just stumbled upon your channel. Love it. You would make a great teacher. Love history.

Love this channel I discovered today! How very interesting! I look forward to hearing more of your stories. Thanks for sharing!

I was at what is considered the best seafood restaurant in South Carolina - very, very nice place. I had ordered raw oysters, and when the server brought them to me they were presented without the shell, in a crystal dish, which was on another crystal dish filled with ice. I had never seen this before, and asked the server if the oysters were from a can. Her jaw dropped. She said to me, "oh my, of course not - we serve them this way so you don't have to deal with any potential sand, etc from the shell". The entire restaurant turned dead silent and I swear everyone was staring at me shaking their heads like, "bless her heart". My partner just kind of chuckled and said to me, "ha ha - the server put you in your place" (chiding me with a sense of humor), but I was kind of embarrassed that I was too much if an idiot to have figured it all out myself! I mean, the oysters were amazing, and clearly fresh - and me having had oysters mainly in bars when I lived in Key West, well, yeah, I'm kind of an idiot sometimes! And that was my oyster faux pas.

This was very interesting! Looking forward to seeing more videos!

You must have a deep fascination with history to not only tackle such a rooted family history and new culture, but to pursue your dissertation on top of that? Hats off! Mom taught me how to do hospital corners after working as a nurse. As for food faux pas...we were at high tea at a very nice hotel. I wasn't paying attention (Really good conversation!) and dipped my personal tea spoon into the communal clotted cream and stirred it into my tea instead of sugar. It took quite a while before I realized why no one else was having any despite how good it was!

What a delightful channel! Just discovered it/you and I can't wait to watch more videos 🙂

Julie! So happy to see you have a vlog, loved watching you on Ladies of London!

I recently subscribed and I do enjoy your videos. I just finished watching when you bought a house in Italy and when you went to the flea market. I enjoyed looking at all those antique furniture!

Awe I can hear a little British/American accent mesh. You are so lucky Julie truly. My family’s history is a huge part of my life and I’ve been doing the genealogy of it. I’m a direct descendant of the Tudors. No joke I’m really related directly to them. I hope if I ever hit the lottery I just want to visit my motherland

Great video! Thanks

I just found your videos. Hugely enjoyable, thank you

I mean.. Wasn't Downton Abbey partly about how that life style and environment was basically going extinct as all the aristocrats were losing their fortunes and names? The whole show was about a struggle for the Crawley family to keep their lands, title etc. They had to bring in some nephew that was basically a "commoner" because they didn't have a male heir. As a young Turkish stoner (back then at least) from the Netherlands I don't think I was the target audience but I enjoyed it immensely. Recommended it to all my friends lol. I even liked the movie they recently made. Man... Such an absolute shock when my man Matthew was sent to the eternal plain. I feel sad just thinking about it. But in the end the show was about family, love, friendship, brotherhood, respect and love for each other. Which... Uhh is kinda weird considering we're following an absurdly privileged family and their servants who mostly seem to have some sort of Stockholm syndrome and are ready to die for their masters. Not saying the relationship wasn't beautiful and special but you know.. Let's be honest 99.9999999% of us want to be the privileged ones not the servants waiting for the bell to be rang. P.s. Lady Crawley losing her virginity to Osman Pamuk was a scandal that stuck with me as a Turk. And also the fact that no one raised an eye brow over cousins marrying (although they were somewhat distant cousins, I imagine it was pretty common for people to marry even first cousins back then, Esp. In such families to keep the family fortune intact)

... you are a riot .. lov the way you explain how things are done over there .. and lov learning all these things.. x

First time, found your vlogs. Subscribed. Love your presentation and energy. Thank you 😊

I'm 75 and grew up using a semi-formal table whenever we had company. We had napkins with the fold on the proper side, spoons, forks, and all of that depending on what was being eaten, but limited to salad/dessert spoons and forks and separate knives. I got married and tried that on my husband. He would not accept putting anything on the table that wasn't going to be used unless it was for company. Fifty five years later, I still prefer to have a more full table setting just because it feels special. I do think my kiddos know how to set a table, but I think one of the four ever does it. Our lives are not as formal as they used to be!

I am planning to take a etiquette class with my daughters because I really enjoy it. I want to be invited to use our skills one day soon.

Fun to watch. Thank you. One time this American wore a hat to an American wedding in the 1990s.

Absolutely loved this video! Very interesting to see an American within the British nobility. Can’t wait to see the other videos!

I love this channel!!!

Love your show here. Today I had a problem with the music being louder than you spoke though. I hope that gets fixed. I love watching!

Thank you. I thoroughly enjoyed the video.

I love your presentation & your beautiful outgoing & fun personality. You historical content is excellent and we all wish we could be your friend & neighbor. ☮️💟 from Minnesota (ps - it was 17 degrees below zero Fht today).

I love this channel!

Super interesting! Thanks for sharing!

Her accent is so charming to hear. I also love the similarity of her vest and mug!

I had to laugh when I read your intro: It is not all Downton Abbey. Lady Julia, I don't think anyone watching your videos would ever get the idea it is. You are a ball of energy. The fastest we ever saw the Ladies in Downton Abbey move was at dinner call! To be fair to them, no doubt they were exhausted from wardrobe and hairdresser details. We can see they lived a hectic life having to pay great attention to details of fashion and etiquette. (Making light of it is all in good spirit. They had their sorrows as do most of us.)

When my grandmother asked me to set the table she would say get the “tools” not silverware or cutlery just the tools! Thanks for the “Earl of sandwich” origin of the Sandwich story. I love the fact he was part of the admiralty, does make wonder when did this guy sleep?

In Brownies, at the age of 7, we had a day where we learned how to set a table - for family suppers, & for informal dinners. Later, I learned formal settings. We had in our family the individual crystal salt & pepper shakers for each place setting, and we had 14 sets, the number for a formal dinner. They had been my great-grandparents'. Learning proper manners is so important - good manners makes interactions go more smoothly and with respect for self & others. Too bad that manners, even saying please & thank you, is so little taught nowadays. The heirloom china and crystal may all be gone, but manners last forever.

I LOVE hats! I just stumbled on your channel--I subscribed--and will check out your other videos--this was fun.

Very enjoyable. Thanks for your explanations.

Interesting ! 🏰 So many little things to discover !

Oh my gosh I'm so excited about this channel! On a sadder note, what a horrific cultural and historical loss of those houses. I've gotten the since before that the British can be a bit annoyed with them but those incredible homes are such (and I would go as far to say) human historical monuments. It makes me sick to my stomach to hear about the damage and all the losses of art and such. I'm so glad there are systems in place now to protect them. We need that in my country.

Very interesting! Hello from Windsor, Ontario, Canada. 🇨🇦

Wow. So cool you get to live in that beautiful house!

Your so cool. I live vicariously through your podcasts. When you swim in the pools, I feel the cool water. When you interact with your husband, I recall working with men from the UK in the oil and gas world. When you talk about your ancestors, my hear warns with lobe. I too love my anscestry very much. And now your working on your dusertstiin. I'm so inspired. Blessings to you and all at Mapperton. Oh, and your tiara is stunning. Amen.

I just found your channel for the first time and I LOVE it. ❤️

i just stumbled upon your channel. I can't wait to watch all of your content.

Lovely redemption of the sandwich lore~ meanwhile I have heard a story in Italy of someone on a fishing boat who put a piece of fish between 2 loaves, (before your guy.... ) 😉 Thanks for the great channel! 😋

love your videos!

I love the videos and you seem to have so much fun making them. My dream is to have an AGA cooker! I’ve wanted one since I saw my first at 7 years old. I’ve worn a hat a couple times and have always felt a bit silly. Although I like them and think they’re cute on others, I don’t think they look good on me and I’m always self conscious about them. You asked about a faux pas introducing someone and I sure have. I was at a podium introducing many people where were escorted up and after a while I was tongue tied. As I got to one of the highest ranked people in the room, I did not stumble on the title, but her name. Her first name was Tess. Unfortunately, I embarrassed myself terribly by saying Pest! She handled it with great grace, had a little laugh and said she’d been called far worse. Possibly she had been, but I doubt ever in an introduction! I’m not know to lose composure, but I must have turned the brightest shade of red possible. Writing this 35 years later, I’m still not sure if I should laugh or cry!! She really was lovely- definitely not a pest at all.

I really appreciate and admire your style.. in looking at old photos with your blond hair, I think you look more beautiful with your original hair color, and all the wonderful clothing you wear from your vests and slacks, to your amazing dresses from various decades.. thank you for being you and sharing your uniqueness.

Your Great Grandmother-in-law had smashingly good taste! And the hat looks marvelous on you! How did you keep it on your head with the wind blowing? BTW, I enjoy all your videos, I adore old country houses, and English life in general. I am of English lineage, although my ancestors came over early on, but I've always loved English history. (Enjoying the Last Kingdom series at the mo, but read most of the books years ago, and anything BBC is best quality -- always!) Any how, a big thank you from Coastal California, and do continue these charming videos!

I just discovered your channel, lovely, informative. Thanks

interesting, informative too

Love your content Jules. Love your sweater..Greetings from Philly

Julie, I found your channel only but a few months ago and I'm enjoying every bit of it. I can't imagine how stressful formal parties and dinners could possibly be to get everything perfect and the proper etiquette to boot. While speaking of proper, would you be so kind, if and or when you find the time, to do a video on servicing tea. The proper etiquette and equipage to serving afternoon and high tea the correct English (British) way.

I just found your channel! I subscribed and sent it to my husband. We would love to travel to England and explore historical mansions. I heard you also have other channels. I will check them out too!

I literally did a double take because I have only seen your work on Grokker aka my top yoga teacher. I can't wait to binge all of this!

I can never find the right size of hat... I literary have a big head! Thank you for the interesting details. I stumbled onto your channel and is definetely a fan!!

I love your videos!

The salt passing across the table had me giggle because I do that all the time and now I realised its a faut pas

So excited about finding your channel. I am obsessed with Downton Abbey and any time period drama similar to it. I find it all so fascinating! There is a restaurant in Disney Springs in FL that says Earl of Sandwich on it, any relation to it? Or maybe they got it from the same historical facts!

Happy New Year !

I love wearing a hat and have a smart straw one that I wear everyday in summer. I love your videos Julie, thanks for doing them. My mom always taught me the etiquette of how to eat a hard boiled egg. You tap the top with the bottom of a spoon and lift off the lid this creates and them spoon out the egg and eat it. It took me some time but I got it and think of her every time I eat an hard boiled egg. 🥰

I've noticed that you have a lot of lovely knitted garments. Do you knit? I also really like you tea cup! I think it is great that you have married into this family. British history is amazing. My parents taught me how to make a bed. Doesn't everyone do hospital corners? I think I've heard of the salt passing before... sounds very familiar. We had a lot of table rules at our formal dining. My mother was very particular about this. As for hats? Yes, many hats. I love them! My dad used to always wear a hat. The hat fashion died in the 1970s. I wish it would come back. People used to dress so much better 50 years ago. I remember my mom always wearing gloves to parties.

From what little I have !earned about Americans marrying into the English Aristocracy, I appreciate how similar your family's story is to the many families who have grappled with financial and health issues, but had to deal with them in secret. You and your family have demonstrated considerable resourcefulness and grit and should be commended.

I have definitely worn hats - to protect my head from the sun, from severe cold. But also as part of costumes, my favorite being the time I performed an unaccompanied opera for solo soprano, where I played nine characters (including two wives, death, and an army), and used hats to help with character definition.

We still do hospital corners when making the bed

I love hearing the British influence on your accent

I don’t say much, but I’m absolutely loving this.

Hope you have a JOLLY ~ HAPPY 🌲 CHRISTMAS JULIE & FAMILY ~ CHEERS 🍷🍾🫖☕🍬🍰 And BIG AMERICAN HUGS