I'm jealous of everyone who ever published anything traditionally. It stings even more if they are younger than me. One girl I follow on Twitter announced she had a three book deal and she's only 18! My only published story was in a collection of student writing in university and even though they had rules on who and what you can submit, they decided to put in the collection everything anyone submitted bc there were unexpectedly fewer submissions than they anticipated.
Thank you for the positivity! Everyone has their own publishing journey but it really sucks seeing all these people getting their books out and debuting at early age, and I look at what I've done and I'm 24. I'm still young but I'm also very impatient.
First book deal at 28. Book likely coming out for me at 29. Things happen for people at different times. I found love super early and got a house super early. But there are still plenty of things in my life I need to work on.
Lol I’m more like mad at myself for not doing what others were able to because I’m slacking at my writing :( ! Ugh I’ll get there I know and I’m only 26 right? But others have done it at 23... see what I did there? Lol yeah
I think the main problem (or at least, my main problem) with jealousy is that is gives you a sense of discouragement , something writers don’t really need more of, at seeing people who are doing better, you start to think is because maybe your writing is not as good as them, and that’s why you don’t have those things
First comment! Yes! And your too right Alexa. Jealousy is pretty much common but if used right/healthy it can motivate one. Just making sure it doesn't take over or distort you as a person/writer is key.
Wow, this is a new concept for me to hear about. I don't see the point in being jealous about ANYTHING, let alone for a fellow writer who's made the mark (and done the work to become published--traditional or self-published). It's a TON of hard work that's involved and let's face it, MOST people won't be interested, let alone be up for the challenge for what it takes to write a book. So WHERE'S the jealousy? One day I hope to be published. More than likely, I'll self publish my novel. The thing that will ALWAYS get to me though is when people will think that when a person decides to self publish their work, that they are pretty much shutting the door on being traditionally published--when the opposite of that is closer to reality. Sometimes you really don't want to put yourself through that 'needle in the haystack' to become traditionally published. Like if you're really 'good enough.' Because a LOT of times it won't even be about that. It's like you have to trend right sometimes to get traditionally published. Like are people still wanting to read about vampires or witches or whatever? And is your story about that? Because if it's not, then you'll have a good story on your hands that NOBODY wants to publish. I thank God, that I won't be worrying about that. I'm happy to write my 'New Adult' literary fiction (like THAT'S everything on EARTH!). : ) Give me 'character' driven stories over 'plot' driven stories any day of the year. (Oh yeah, and sorry for the rant!).
Authors jealous of an author friend? Hmmmm ... why does the name "Heminway" come to mind? Hemingway and his friend whom he sabotaged whose name was Scott Fitzgerald? It's been decades and both are dead, yet it's still a nasty part of Hemingway's life.
What if you have a friend who is jealous of you? I’m really struggling with the venom of someone who is close to me and wants everything to be about her.
I recommend watching the latest NovelTea Show on Gingerreadlainey's channel--we talk about this! Sometimes, it helps to tell the friend how they are making you feel. But sometimes, you have to let the friendship die. Some friendships can't survive jealousy.
If anyone has ever seen a “r/menwritingwomen” subreddit then you’ll know the pain and jealousy (and in some cases seething anger) that those seriously uncreative men get their trash writing actually published vs someone else with an original concept purely because of the commercial side of the publishing business.
You remind me of author Travis Walton. Why? He wrote “The Walton Experience” & in interviews he explains when he appears at events when he speaks about his experience, he pays his own way to get their. That’s what I like about your channel, you’re honest.
Never compare your self to someone else. Always compare the person you are today to the person you were in your past. That ideal goes hand in hand with setting realistic goals. Make your goals reachable and you will find yourself reaching and surpassing those goals before you know it.
I really appreciated this video because it's true, everyone gets jealous, it's how we handle it that makes the cut. THanks for the awesome video Alexa!
This discussion has been cropping up a lot lately, and it's good to hear your thoughts. I'm in the privileged position of being unpublished, so my big career hopes haven't had any reality checks yet! The only comparisons I can make are to how much and how well other unpublished folks around me are writing, but I don't think that bothers me too much.
I have social science question, can I make short stories about of my dream that I had as a kid. Not goal reaching dreams but daydream of randomness? I have dream that I remember clearly of and one mostly. It's hard to say, I had two dreams in one night the second got some pieces of the first, the l first dreamt person came to the second to help me but he's totally random made up other kid but I dreamt him so well. I want to look back onto it and I want to practise writing I want share those dreams on deviant art since I find dreams really interesting at least mine I can't forget they are just that interesting to me. Be a smart kid that already anlyzing my dreams while I grew up from them, even my nightmares. I didn't remember from every dream but my most interesting and questioning but I don't believe in dream meaning guide books work. I think it is what you dream is what you see them as in that point of time of awakening in a gentle and honest way.
I love your videos! Im not sure if you take video requests but I have been looking for a video on wording and repeating words. For instance, I have a chapter or two that takes place in the woods and I am realizing I have repeated the word "tree" or "trees" more than is probably ideal. My question is when is repeating words okay? When when isn't it? I think you would have a great outlook on this! Also, love this video. Its good to hear not only concerning publishing but also for life! 😄
Comparing can be sometimes... a bit senseless. My father compared to one of 5 best novelist in my little country whose books are even published in English "it doesn't remind this." It's more or like being compared to Stephen King. There's a limit to everything... I am not jealous of him in a horrible way, but being compared to him when he has like 3 years of experience more than you... really unfair... Yeah... let's compare a historical book to a rewritten of Romeo and Juliet that was needed to be 30 minutes... Great comparing. By the way, he denied it ever happened.
I would love if you could share some tips regarding professional friends in the publishing industry. How do you make connections with people at a similar stage in their career? Please help the lost introverts of the world by instructing us on how to make friends. 😅😅😅
Thank you. This video helped a lot. I'm 30 and on my third book. Rushing has been my biggest issue because I get intimidated by other's successes. I'm on a mission to slow down and be happy for others.
I'm actually almost never jealous. I do want things that others have and such sometimes, but it never seems to lead to any kind of anger towards them. I love to see when my friends do well, even if I can sometimes be sad about not having it myself.
This is great advice for both publishing and just regular jealousy too. I like how you address the fact that people do get jealous of their friends, and it's up to what you do with it that determines your character. So many people just immediately jump to the conclusion that, jealousy of a friend is absolute sin, so humanizing it helps a lot. Thanks for the advice, I'll keep it in mind!
Great video! This reminds me of a question I've been meaning to ask. In one of your previous video (regarding advances I believe), you mentioned an author may be set up for failure if they are given a huge advance. Can you elaborate on the concept of buying & burying as well as tips on how to handle such situation? Thanks!
I think it's going to depend on the individual. A LOT of people will keep a small notebook to take/keep notes on their story and then transfer them over to their computer. I think I've heard of an established writer who preferred to write her WHOLE novel on yellow legal pads and then she or her assistant would transfer it over onto the computer. So, PLEASE do what feels right for you! Good luck!!!
