Sara said it exactly right. Sometimes thing just run their course - everything is not meant to last forever …and sometimes you flat out married the wrong person.
@@baublesanddolls yes I agree. Mine was life threatening at one point and I definitely chose ME. I did the work and it's up to him to do his own work, not up to me to save everybody. Society tells women that we are supposed to save and nurture any and everybody and that's not our job. It's not our only job.
I dont think failure needs to be a loaded word.. I think it's ok to call it a failure without judgement. Failure is a part of life and everybody encounters multiple failures throughout life. You can say the marriage failed but there were good times, I learnt a lot and I don't regret it.. I think we should de-stigmatise the word failure.. It's just part of being human
Extremely well said! A divorce by it's very definition is the failure of a marriage. But that's totally OK! We don't need to turn divorce into something to be celebrated while simultaneously not vilifying it.
I was one of the kids whose parents split (I’m a seasoned adult now), and when I heard other kids say, “I wish my parents would split,” I knew from experience they had no idea what they were talking about. Them saying that is only a passing thought that means nothing and shouldn’t be regarded as the kid knowing what’s best for them. Their brains aren’t even fully developed yet so it’s important to keep that in mind when a kid says something they think would be better.
@@warmcozy Ew. Your one personal situation & experience with divorce does not invalidate the VERY real, lifelong trauma that comes with growing up with two parents who can't stand each other, try and pit the kids against each other, and creates an absolutely chaotic, destructive, awful home life. Staying together literally causes countless children to grow up & enter seriously dysfunctional relationships, and we're conditioned to think behavior that is absolutely unacceptable is okay, and we should just suck it up. No. Anyone with a psychology degree would tell you that divorce is absolutely the way to go over staying together -- it's NEVER "for the kids". Weird attachment to religion and valuing that over the health & happiness of your children has screwed up countless families and children.
@@Free420Love Ew. Your one opinion lacking scientific basis combined with thinking anyone with a psychology degree would also shun scientific evidence should be embarrassing to you. Studies have already disproven your theory that stress and strife between married parents is categorically worse than divorce. There are significant advantages to the children when their parents stay married which doesn’t always in every case mean the parents *should* stay together but the children are compelling reasons.
I think who ever is experiencing it has the right to choose how THEY are equipped to deal with it so they can get up in the morning and continue their lives. If she chooses to and doesnt feel like a failure, then that is for HER. I swear misery is always looking for company and inexperience wedges its opinions in.
I really enjoy this group of women. I definitely can get annoyed at times with Sunny but it’s a good mix of perspectives. And Whoopi (mostly) always dropping wisdom. And I relate so much to Alyssa and Sara’s approach to topics. Joy makes me laugh. Thanks! 💜
Agreed. It’s a failure and that’s fine. They can continue to be successful parents and friends if that’s possible and it sounds like that would a possibility here.
@@TreenaBeena evolution comes from failure. How many failures did take to evolve from candle to bulb? All these fancy words are just make up over failure.
Even if I NEVER get married.... Blessings are on the Life I lead, and the Life I share with those I love. FAILURE IS NO OPTION IN RELATIONSHIPS!!! #ViewNation #OhThemDifferences!!! #FailureIsNoOption!!! #CountThemBlessings!!!
What’s the point of marriage if it isn’t a forever commitment. I get the whole “partnership for tax purposes” but why are we celebrating divorce in this context?
@@cynthianolder3557 then why not just go the partner route and leave those who want a “traditional” marriage alone? Seems like we’re rewriting the rules for everyone on this one when most people (worldwide) are still leaning towards forever vows. 🤷♀️
@appy-sq4ijI don't understand how this affects your marriage though? You live your life and let other people live theirs and make decisions that are best for them. And she isn't celebrating divorce, she was just being very frank about why the marriage fell apart and was still finding the positive aspects of the situation.
@@Ray03595 don’t think I mentioned my marriage. Just asking “why go through the effort” if someone doesn’t even view marriage as a forever thing. Also… the fact that the most liked comment on this vid is about Whoopi’s hair… hints that ppl are equally as confused on this topic (loaded/convoluted discussion) 😂
As Sunny stated, divorce by definition is a failed marriage. You failed to stay together, but it's always good to takeaway key lessons from these experiences that will help you become the best version of yourself.
He was a man who was clearly and tragically suffering from extreme mental illness and committed suicide. I don't think his death needs to be exploited anymore as it's a tragedy that he couldn't get the help he clearly needed.
@@haileygeltman8482 interesting take. I'd say it's everyone who is looking on at what is happening and then blithely going about their daily lives as though everything is fine and dandy who are the mentally ill ones. Watching that level of suffering and then casting aspersions on those who find it intolerable is cold - to put it mildly.
I think glorifying suicide in any way shape or form is sickening and if your cause or movement celebrates a man committing suicide in such a way then I think its morals should be questioned. He so clearly was mentally ill or he would be alive today. Suicide is an absolute tragedy and I only wish he could have gotten the help he so clearly needed. @@raindrops21_9
I agree. Marriage is supposed to be a covenant and sacred vow to love another person and remain with them “in good times, bad times, sickness, and in health”.
I agree, I’m a child of divorce and it was the single most healthiest decision our mother taught us was that personal happiness for both parents breeds happier children, furthermore she taught us that settling for less than isn’t worth it and that you truly do end up marrying someone who made sense in one moment but then you grow more in your life and realise it makes no sense at all to who you’ve now become, good for Jodie for teaching her daughter that failure is really just wisdom unfolding and not pain and regrets.
Look folks forget all that nonsense jodie turner smith was saying. Bottom line is when you and your spouse end your marriage that means your marriage your relationship was a failure. You failed to make it work.
Separated but not divorced. Sometimes separation is good if both parties do the work on themselves before deciding to reunite. Seems the Smiths did this. I remember Will saying in the Red Table Talk interview, Jada cried herself to sleep 30 days straight. Seems she needed some serious healing and needed to go on that journey to heal. I think sometimes separation lets you know if it's gonna work or not.
@@shippendales8543 mostly on her end. cause without him she's nothing. her acting career didn't exactly take off. she got gigs but she's not that great of an actress.
I love that Joy pointed out that her life would have been dedicated to that man. So many women just completely fold their lives into a man only to have them eventually just leave them or ultimately not appreciate them. Most men want you to center them in your world and not have your own interests. For talented women, this doesn't fit their lifestyles. They either either need to marry a man who realizes that they're not going to be sitting at home bouncing their babies all day, or they're just going to have to be single.
So annoyed with people saying its bad for kids, my siblings and I CELEBRATED our parents divorce, we were sick of the constant fighting and yelling. It was so peaceful and BOTH parents calmed down being apart, BEST THING EVER, and my parents ended up a year after being friends again. In my family it SOLVED the problem, so STOP saying it hurts children, NO it hurts some and for some its the best thing.......
Not surprising Sunny. So negative always. My ex husband and his wife and I hang out and have a great time. We were together 18 years. He will always be my friend. It didn't last but it was a great chapter.
Some of us are better people apart. There is no forever. 2 years, 12 years, 20 years that’s a success. All good. We change/ grow / evolve… not the same person 20-30, 30-40, 40-50…
but it is a failure. it's a failure to see if someone was a suitable match in a long-term partnership. it's a a failure to understand marriage is not just about love, it's about commitment. it's a failure to mishandle emotions should there be a period of hardship and disagreements in the relationship before healing begins. why do you think the line "in sickness and in health, till death do us part" is for? it's there for a reason to show marriage is beyond love. it's a commitment.
Amen! When you split, do it with kindness and never-ending love esp. when children are loved by you! LOVE YOUR CHILDREN MORE THAN YOU HATE/DISLIKE YOU SPOUSE😊😊❤🙏
I grew up in a two parent household, and it’s not always great to stay together. There was no beef, but also they didn’t really like each other like that 😂
I FLAT OUT married the wrong man. I can admit that it was a class thing, it ruined my children and destroyed me. But, I also admit that I didn't like marriage and I don't like being controlled by men. I never got married again and was better off for it 😢😢😢
Everyone forgets that Icarus also flew. It's the same when love comes to an end, or the marriage fails and people say they knew it was a mistake, that everybody said it would never work. That she was old enough to know better. But anything worth doing is worth doing badly. Poem by Jack Gilbert
I won’t be taking advice from a woman who had to propose to Percy from Dawsons Creek and knowing that he strung along his ex girlfriend for 11 years and no 💍. Now he moved on really fast with Rumor Lupita Nyego
He didn't string Diane along. Diane didn't want to get married again, as she went out with Josh after breaking up with her ex husband. JTS got someone new at the same time as Josh. I think the relationship had been over for awhile before they announced their split.
It is detrimental for children to be in a home where parents do not get along you hear yelling screaming and fighting and Fidelity it's horrible and people need to separate and that's why I hate when people say oh it's best that two people to party parents know it doesn't know it's not as a psychologist it is best the child grow up in a single family home with his love and happiness and growth and productivity and that they are allowed to visit and see the other parent meet people from the 80s and 90s with parents got divorced they're not used to hearing the screaming and yelling match because when adults yell it can lead to altercation most of these kids have never witnessed any type of physical any type of severe emotional contact between both parents because they separated divorce before I got there these kids are actually healthiest and happy as kids psychologically then people's parents have stayed
When two adults decide that they can no longer live together that is fine. But they need to keep their issues between them, absolutely don't put each other down to the children. Remain civil especially in front of the children. In the long run if not handled correctly it's the children who suffer s
I didn't look at my divorce as a failed marriage I took it as freeing me and my children You don't stay together when you aren't happy it not good for the Children It's selfish to hold on when nether are happy
@@ld4974 I never said they think they'll get divorced. Lots of people take marriage as a joke and something that is just about the love of that individual. As soon as a lot of them get bored, they resort to cheating and doing other things. Same old, same old.
@@manny.3248 I agree with the sentiment, but you said don't get married. Just pointing out that most people enter marriage with the right intentions even though 50% end in divorce.
Marriage is overrated............... It's better to live alone and hook up for sexual companionship or recreational sex from time to time. 😁 I am joking about the fornication but a lot of married people are unhappy.
