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John’s Dementia Vlog - a quick tour of our home and yard and some thoughts about the future future 

Dementia Caregiving - John’s Vlog
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This was a totally unplanned and unscripted video. Quite a few people remark on our backyard when I have an outside video, so I thought I would give a quick look around at the property so you can get a better sense of how and where we live. We are in Halifax, Nova Scotia, on the East Coast of Canada. It’s a port city that played a prominent role in World War II due to our deep and safe ice free harbor. Our winters can be harsh and snowy, but they’ve been getting milder over the years, and our summers are absolutely glorious with a few weeks of really nice hot weather always tempered by the influence of the nearby ocean. Toward the end of this video I talk a bit about how sometimes I think about my future alone. I have a hard time thinking about it, let alone talking about it. I’m not looking forward to it at all, but I know I’ll recover and pick up the pieces quick enough. I tend to have a positive can-do attitude towards life so I know things will be OK. Thanks so much for supporting me here on RU-vid and commenting on the videos. You’re such a tremendous amount of support and love. I just can’t get over it. I think it underscore that people and empathy based content, and I just happened to be positioned to be able to deliver it. So many people can relate to what we are going through here. if you have time, please check out my sister’s website www.fridayswith...

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9 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 318   
@ChilledOut
@ChilledOut Месяц назад
Your positive outlook and genuine gratitude for the simple things in life is inspiring John
@Harmony977
@Harmony977 Месяц назад
I agree it is incredible. Your love of life shines through
@marknoble4081
@marknoble4081 29 дней назад
May I ask how old Heather is?
@mcfcaguerooo5697
@mcfcaguerooo5697 Месяц назад
Hi John - I’m a dementia nurse in the UK and have been for 30 years. Just wanted to say I admire you and you epitomise what a partner should be👍 cheers Scott
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
Thank you so much, Scott.
@Homebound233
@Homebound233 Месяц назад
Grieving comes in all different stages as we age. Divorced and grieving the life,I once had… I pray for all the lonely and grieving people.🙏
@bbwalls
@bbwalls Месяц назад
Your place is beautiful. I’m glad Heather has enough interest in what you’re doing to come to the door and watch. I hope today is a good one.
@kathykochersperger6848
@kathykochersperger6848 Месяц назад
Take that trip when you're ready and yes talking about it helps.
@bernadetteoreilly8369
@bernadetteoreilly8369 Месяц назад
John you are doing a fantastic job caring for Heather. Take care.
@buddyneher9359
@buddyneher9359 8 дней назад
Thanks for the tour! Your house and yard are gorgeous 🤗You are wise to think about plans for the future, even though it's sometimes painful. That's good self-care. 👍 It's also eye-opening to me to see how many people are commenting about analogous situations in their own lives - what an excellent, gigantic support group has arisen here! This is a gift to the world. 💝💖💕
@melissamartin1773
@melissamartin1773 Месяц назад
First off, I'd like to say, "I love your attitude, John." You're doing an amazing job caring for your Heather. Your home is beautiful! Heather, keep smiling!! 😊😊😊❤❤
@victorialoveday9998
@victorialoveday9998 Месяц назад
What you are experiencing now..is the anticipatory grief. My husband had Huntington’s which mostly manifested as schizoaffective disorder, psychosis and dementia. He suffered a fall and had a double craniotomy from which he did not recover. Surprisingly, the long anticipatory grief period did not prepare me for a whole different kind of grief and that’s “how do you become one when you’ve been two” for so very long. Prayers for you and your beautiful wife. Stay strong
@kathrynharnecker4394
@kathrynharnecker4394 Месяц назад
Your yard is almost as beautiful as Heather’s eyes - your love and devotion towards one another shines through 💕
@janemacmurray
@janemacmurray Месяц назад
Your home and backyard are absolutely gorgeous; so very attractive. Halifax is such an attractive city; you are very fortunate to live there. It is clear that you and Heather lived life to the fullest. I admire you for speaking of the future. The fact that you are making plans mentally indicates that you are remaining positive even though you are going through a very bleak period at the moment. Your family and friends must praise you for your devotion to Heather and your high standard of caregiving. Bless you John.
@susankoster5644
@susankoster5644 Месяц назад
My husband's aphasia has gotten quite bad after 5 weeks in hospital. The dr just told me my husband will go to a Stepdown after his hospital stay. Fortunately his leg could be saved after getting a excellent trauma surgeon. Amputation was not a good choice with The FTD and Parkinson's. Seeing our loved ones deteriorate in front of our eyes is harrowing to say the least. Sending good vibes and prayers your way❤
@janmick6826
@janmick6826 Месяц назад
Prayers for all
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
I’m so sorry for your and your husband‘s troubles… It sounds really upsetting. Thank you for the good vibes and prayers, I really appreciate your comments.
@user-qb8qm4mp5n
@user-qb8qm4mp5n Месяц назад
Beautiful backyard and the ocean so close! I think it's a great idea to plan a trip when it's all over, rather than staying cooped up in your house by yourself.
@lindakitten2481
@lindakitten2481 27 дней назад
I was my mother’s caretaker for 5 years until she passed away. She had Parkinson’s and every adjustment to make her/our life easier was a win. Your home and yard are lovely. I’ll keep y’all in my prayers.
@amyberg1413
@amyberg1413 Месяц назад
The blinds that open from both ends are great for privacy and letting in light. Beautiful house and grounds. Wonderful idea to put beds downstairs.
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
I just ordered that kind… They open from the top and from the bottom so they can be pulled up to shield half the window while still letting in lots of natural light. Thank you for your comments.
@giselefontaine
@giselefontaine Месяц назад
You are a walking testimony of love in action! Your patience, compassion and sweetness towards your beloved Heather is an inspiration to all of us. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
@janonthelam3418
@janonthelam3418 Месяц назад
This makes so much sense and is far less disturbing to Heather’s mentation than moving to a one floor condo. Good job, John. 👍🏼♥️🇨🇦
@Carol-fs8mt
@Carol-fs8mt 3 дня назад
It’s called “Anticipatory grief”. I learned and experienced it with the death of my mother two years ago. I just discovered your channel today. You are an amazing husband and caregiver. Being a caregiver is heartbreaking. I will continue to follow you.
@jimmyjohnstone5878
@jimmyjohnstone5878 16 часов назад
It would be a great diversion project to do a campervan conversion. You will have it as something to do when you have Heather in day care or with someone at your house. Some hours each week will get a van done in a few months. Yes, you have to think about the future. When you are on your own, a USA trip will be an adventure.
@chuckles1357
@chuckles1357 Месяц назад
You have a beautiful little home and charming backyard! What a lovely life you two shared together for numerous decades. She is one lucky lady to have you as a husband.to walk her through this dreaded disease. One day at a time!
@BubbleMix96-Remixes
@BubbleMix96-Remixes Месяц назад
You are an admirable man who makes the best out of a situation without more drama. Very inspiring
@carolinewalker6974
@carolinewalker6974 Месяц назад
I lost my husband of 42 years last year. Originally I was going to move away as soon as possible, but as I knew I did want to get a campervan and travel decided to get the camper first. This was the best thing I could have done it gives me the option of getting away when things get tough .
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
I’m so glad to hear that you had the same idea… I’m sorry for the loss of your husband and hope you’re doing OK now. Thanks for your comment.
@denisekeef4148
@denisekeef4148 Месяц назад
Your home has a lovely vibe and the new bedroom arrangements are cozy and practical. Well done to you. ❤
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
Thank you so much. It’s been so weird taking over from Heather after all these years when it was her domain. It’s taking me quite a while to get used to having the autonomy, but now that I do, I find it kind of freeing because I can make things happen pretty quickly
@debbiedobbins6785
@debbiedobbins6785 Месяц назад
What a lovely peaceful yard. Thanks for sharing Mr. John. Hope you and Miss Heather have a wonderful Friday. 🤗🤗
@TheOCMarc
@TheOCMarc Месяц назад
John, I've only recently joined along in this journey of yours and I'm amazed at your kindness and devotion. Your selfless act of compassion shows your true character and I admire you for that. You're a beautiful human being who's doing the right thing, right now. Enjoy all the time with Heather as best you can now; you still have many years ahead in your second act of life--and we look forward to following that journey wherever it leads. By the way, we recently moved to the Palm Springs area in California. Please come stay for a week if you ever need to thaw out for awhile 🌞
@deedeew4040
@deedeew4040 Месяц назад
You are in the process of letting go and John what an excellent idea to buy a van and fix it up for camping when the time comes. Heather and you have a beautiful home. I have visited Nova Scotia twice.
@lesliedelp3565
@lesliedelp3565 Месяц назад
I am a retired bereavement therapist after thirty years! You have a healthy view of your future, especially of the bereavement process. I think about my life after my husband dies, all the time. I can’t help but be the planner given my background! He has provided me with a wonderfully loving life and we are financially stable for now. We plan to go live in a retirement village when there is an opening. He has had health issues since the age of 60 and had to retire early. I love my role as his caregiver and together we are charting new territories. Bless you John for all your love and support of your sweet Heather!😍
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
Thank you so much for your comment. It’s reassuring and gratifying to get a positive review from a therapist like yourself. I hope you have a great rest of your day and thanks again for commenting.
@sandradavey
@sandradavey Месяц назад
John I have been binge watching your videos, I feel like I know you and Heather now, it’s heartbreaking when you talk to her and she doesn’t hear and she continues to walk away! My heart breaks for you both. Through it all your love shines through and I am going to be here with everyone else to boost you when you need a lift up. You’re doing amazingly well and you’re so organised! ❤
@sewingqueen11
@sewingqueen11 Месяц назад
I love your spirit. God helps me get through everything. You are special and so is Heather. God bless you both.
@lorih.1087
@lorih.1087 Месяц назад
Single floor living will be more doable for you and Heather--great way to pivot, John.💙
@barblark2728
@barblark2728 Месяц назад
Your perspective, love, and thoughtfulness are helpful and inspiring to witness. You see the best in the moments while staying realistic. Thank you for sharing.
@beeyourbest6675
@beeyourbest6675 Месяц назад
Hi from North Carolina!! 🌻
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
Your state is on my list of places to visit - from everything I’ve seen it’s absolutely gorgeous and the people sound like some of the best in the world.
@northernlitez1
@northernlitez1 Месяц назад
Beautiful yard. Thank you for sharing. Glad you had the option to move downstairs. Penny looks very content on the cot. Every burden you can ease is imperative. Hope you all have a good weekend.
@kgreene460
@kgreene460 Месяц назад
You are the very embodiment of human resilience and Heather would be so proud of you!
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
Do you know what they say, when the going gets tough the tough go Meow Meow! 😸
@kgreene460
@kgreene460 Месяц назад
@@JohnvanGurp 🐈💙🐈‍⬛💙
@ammacares
@ammacares Месяц назад
Lovely backyard! Your realistic outlook about the future is refreshing. My father passed on 8/2/24 and his wife had no plans for his funeral even at an hour before he passed. She kept saying, “he’s not dead yet”. Very frustrating for the rest of us. He had gotten to the point where he was in a wheelchair and didn’t recognize anyone when he had to go live in a nursing facility. It is going to be an ordeal to finalize things because she is power of attorney and had no plans. Thank you for being reasonable ❤
@caroltardif5999
@caroltardif5999 Месяц назад
You deserve nothing but the best. Stay strong❤️
@infopubs
@infopubs Месяц назад
My heart aches to hear you talk about the letting go process. So hard, but so real.
@JustMellie.
@JustMellie. Месяц назад
Good Morning John! I hope it's a good day.
@maricegreen4473
@maricegreen4473 Месяц назад
I’m so sorry for what you are going through. You are an amazing care giver, so many helpful tips for others going through this. Your home and yard is beautiful. You are not alone, we’re all here for you and Heather 💕
@user-fs6ou3fk9p
@user-fs6ou3fk9p Месяц назад
What a wonderful idea moving the bedroom down. My mother did that for my father who had a severe heart attack. A top down bottom up shade is a good idea. We have the cellular ones and they have the option of black out so you wouldn't need extra drapes. We love ours. Planning for the future is so important, hopes and dreams.
@rrichardson53
@rrichardson53 Месяц назад
Thank you for the tour! Your bed(s) arrangement is great being on the main floor. My LO slept in a separate room before dementia because of snoring and other health issues- after his diagnosis I was glad we were in separate rooms because he’d get up a lot during the night. The long goodbye indeed. In 2020 I realized that I’d have to take over finances, house- yard upkeep etc so I went on a major declutter campaign. Now our home only has the bare necessities- much easier for me. Having to make plans for eventual widowhood is hard but so necessary.
@danielsiminski5878
@danielsiminski5878 Месяц назад
It's heartbreaking watching you go through this....happier times will return.....sending hugs!
@donniemoder1466
@donniemoder1466 Месяц назад
Very enlightening as to how things are day to day.
@manueladarazsdi9675
@manueladarazsdi9675 Месяц назад
My husband and you are similar in that you are both creative problem solvers and kind people. Heather and I are lucky because we have husbands who care for us.
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
That’s quite a compliment. I love it… Thank you.
@EvelynBalli
@EvelynBalli Месяц назад
what a great husband you are John big hug from us in Fort Erie Canada we have a special needs son and look after him with the same love you do for Heather so glad to see your home
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
Big hugs back to you. Thank you so much for your comment and I hope your son has a great day today.
@kimberlystone3987
@kimberlystone3987 Месяц назад
Your handling this with such grace ❤
@Marie-xc6cg
@Marie-xc6cg Месяц назад
I love the new room. It's perfect. You are so thoughtful and kind. Prayers for you guys
@kathyf7862
@kathyf7862 Месяц назад
I appreciate you sharing about a realistic grieving experience and a healthy way to look forward in your life so the grief doesn't consume you. Heather would want you to enjoy your future. Also, adapting your house to fit the current need in a practical way is so very wise. Your peaceful yard and neighborhood are so nice. Prayers for you and Heather as you press on!
@marykuhn337
@marykuhn337 Месяц назад
Super important to be able to envision the future. Also, it would be wonderful to follow your van conversion adventure too!
@LisaY-vp4vg
@LisaY-vp4vg Месяц назад
I love your attitude and ability to adapt on an almost daily basis. I was my mom’s caregiver for over 10 years and I agree, it’s a long goodbye. I thought I was mentally prepared for her passing, but I was very wrong. I’m so glad that you’re making plans for your future because it will help you tremendously mentally, physically, and spiritually. But for now, please think about installing a gate at the top of your deck stairs. We installed a waist high gate and situated an opening/closing latch on the side of the gate that my mom couldn’t see. When she faced the gate, it looked like a gate with no latch. But we could easily reach behind and open the latch from the opposite side. It kept her safe from falling when the dementia worsened.
@renhoek3687
@renhoek3687 Месяц назад
It truly is a long goodbye and it is heartbreaking. You are handling it with such dignity and grace. Thanks for the tour! We live in colorful Colorado, so when the day comes, keep us in mind.
@joanpaez4445
@joanpaez4445 Месяц назад
C'mon down!
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
Ha, thank you so much! I remember looking at National Geographic in my parents house when I was a kid and marvelling at the beauty of your state. Maybe I’ll pass through there Sunday. Best regards.
@pcaito857
@pcaito857 Месяц назад
Sir, I recently came across your vlog and have watched many of your videos. You exemplify compassion, selflessness and patience. That does not mean that every day is easy but that you are going forward doing the absolute best for your wife despite the multiple levels of heartbreak and hardship. No doubt your honesty is a great help to many others who are caregivers. I am so glad that you have plans to restore some joy to your life when Heather is free. I hope that you will let us know about those plans so that you can cross paths with your well wishers.
@sbug2705
@sbug2705 Месяц назад
Your home is looking great, and so practical for both of your needs. Well done.
@Harmony977
@Harmony977 Месяц назад
Hello John in beautiful NS. Well done on the new bedroom setup. Your tub outside reminds me of my visiting friends in Toronto in 10 feet of snow and sharing a drink and dip with great music in a similar setting. Also happy that you are planning to take your well deserved healing trip. Yes the Carolina’s are beautiful. ( I am a 🇫🇷 and 🇨🇦🇺🇸 now settled in the Carolina’s) beautiful Even after the hurricane 😂 Stay strong. You may have to visit a lot of new RU-vid friends on your road trip Stay strong 💪
@JamesGrim08
@JamesGrim08 21 день назад
I hope one day if I am faced with a similar situation I'm remotely as good of a man and husband as you are sir. You have really put a lot of things into perspective for me, I hope you are able to find some peace and happiness in the future.
@MrCold012
@MrCold012 Месяц назад
That is a nice backyard John. It is peaceful and lovely. Sure it must take lot of maintenance it like that but what in life doesn't. We are constantly battling entropy. Regarding future and grieving process. There is always a thought which is present in our minds how our life will look like when our close one is going away. It is natural. You are finding a way for yourself. People can sometimes be too critical of themselves "Why I am thinking this way now? Can I forgive myself?" but we need to learn to be kind to ourselves as well. Sounds easy but for empathetic people it can be a burden. Anyway, thanks for video and hope you are getting good sleep.
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments… I really appreciate it. I’ve been hands off with the yard this year and you know what, it’s doing OK. Phew!
@cherylkunzelman3102
@cherylkunzelman3102 Месяц назад
It's like sometimes I feel your outlook is like let's look at this as an adventure. I know it's not but to have that outlook is encouraging and inspiring.
@MediaMaverick_
@MediaMaverick_ Месяц назад
Camper van sounds like a wonderful idea. Good for your soul and you know you'll carry her spirit with you.
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
This^^^
@CohassetJim
@CohassetJim Месяц назад
The ability to hold conflicting ideas and feelings simultaneously is, to me the essence of being a human. And doing it so publicly is incredibly generous on both your and Heather’s parts. And I believe what you said about how she would want this shared. This is happening to millions of people all around the world and it needs to be shared and appreciated as one more natural aspect of life (and death). Enormous respect for you both ❤❤.
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
Jim, thank you again for your comments and your thoughts here… I really appreciate the support.
@RND-x8m
@RND-x8m Месяц назад
Aw John that put a lump in my throat but talking it over is better than dwelling over it all silently. You are of course right about the long goodbye(s). I said goodbye to my Dad many times over four years then in a moment he was gone. You are doing such a wonderful job trying to meet Heathers changing needs and its not easy. You mean roller blinds John for the window. We all listen and you have family and no matter what your life with your darling wife is and always will be priceless. God bless you both from here in Lincolnshire England.
@sandraduchesne1559
@sandraduchesne1559 26 дней назад
God Bless you John, you are such a wonderful husband! You and you Heather will be in my prayers!
@rougedcheeks5346
@rougedcheeks5346 Месяц назад
You are an amazing husband. Be where your feet are, it’ll all fall into place with time. FYI - took care of my elderly mom for many years, different situation but can relate to the emotional rollercoaster you are experiencing.
@flodon10
@flodon10 Месяц назад
What a amazing kind thoughtful husband you are John. Thank you so much for Showing your beautiful home and backyard.🙏😍
@MaryTravels53
@MaryTravels53 Месяц назад
I think your house is very nice. I think the new sleeping arrangements will work very well. You are so good to your wife. Bless you for caring for her. I am certain if she could tell you how much she loves you, she would….but you know that already. It shows in the love you show her.
@lisagarner8261
@lisagarner8261 29 дней назад
I only found your vlog this morning and watched 2. My heart breaks for you. Both of my parents developed diff types of dementia. They earned their wings years ago but watching your blog brought back the heartbreak I felt at the time. You have a realistic outlook and I’m sure those feelings are a roller coaster. I just want to say you are not alone and I wish you both the best as you live each day. ❤
@housefinch3472
@housefinch3472 13 дней назад
You are amazing. Your disposition is truly remarkable. You have a calm spirit. I would imagine having a vlog has been beneficial for your spirit. You are very inspiring.
@cathyblock6197
@cathyblock6197 Месяц назад
Just to add, im sure you have researched anticipatory grief, i experienced that over a year before my sister actually passed. In a way, it helped to prepare me to be better able to manage & cope at the end. Its a hard subject that we all have dealt with.
@daniroberts3360
@daniroberts3360 Месяц назад
Thank you for showing us around your lovely home. Best wishes from the UK.
@debrabate3647
@debrabate3647 Месяц назад
Hello John & Heather from Ottawa. I've just discovered your Vlog this past week. I have gone through the dementia journey with my sister. I've tried to be a support to both her and her husband (her caregiver). She was placed 1 month ago in a long-term care facility (Toronto). This was a tough decision to make. You will know when it is time. Prayers for your wellbeing and Heather's are being sent your way. I've sent your Vlog details to my brother-in-law.
@rebeccashoemaker4443
@rebeccashoemaker4443 Месяц назад
Love your property. Thank you for acknowledging your grief & “the long goodbye”. You offer such great vulnerability & transparency. I commend you for doing that-especially as a man. I can only imagine how you are helping so many people, but especially male caregivers. God bless you, John!
@user-ts3mi4zk2n
@user-ts3mi4zk2n Месяц назад
John such a lovely home. Thanks for sharing. It is hard to look at the future. My husband is in a nursing facility now with Parkinsons with both a physical and mental decline. I hate being alone after 47 years, and I'm inching along in my journey dealing with it. One moment I think that I'll be o.k., the next I'm not. I'll see or hear something that reminds me of him or our years together, and I'm just about to melt into a puddle on the floor...🙁
@eastcoastrabbit4474
@eastcoastrabbit4474 Месяц назад
With diseases like cancer and dementia, where the decline and then death can take years, the grieving by those around happens over that same time too. I hope no one gives you a hard time about you picking up your life and moving on once your lovely wife has gotten "her wings". To those who haven't had to experience the long term caregiver role, it may seem that you've "gotten over it" quickly, but in all truth you've been in a quiet state of mourning for years. On another note, your home is lovely. I love the older neighbourhoods in cities, so much more character, larger & better treed lots, and all the houses are different styles. Much more preferable. This time Halifax should escape any storm damage from Debby. A nice change for once :).
@barbarameehan113
@barbarameehan113 Месяц назад
You have made your home doable for you and Heather. I guess we all need to think out of the box when it comes to aging and / or illness. Great job John.
@GrandadsOtherChannel
@GrandadsOtherChannel Месяц назад
Thanks for the tour, John 👍
@kathleenz.7740
@kathleenz.7740 Месяц назад
Good morning. Couldn’t help but pick up with the discussion about the window treatments. You said that you want the top down bottom up shades. As far as black out curtains, Amazon has great ones. As a retired overnight nurse I really needed them. You both enjoy your day. 💕
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
Thanks for the tip! I just ordered the blinds and I think I’ll jump on Amazon and get myself those blackout curtains today. Thanks for the comment and I hope you have a great rest of your day.
@Its_me--Boo_Radley
@Its_me--Boo_Radley Месяц назад
What a very comfortable home and property you have! Although not the same situation, my husband and I took care of my Mother with dementia (hers exhibited with loss of short term memory ... she still knew us and could converse ... just not remember what happened 5 minutes ago). Even with two of us taking care of her, it was still a struggle, especially when she become very weak. At that point, we placed her in a nursing home, which made things easier for transporting her to doctors' appointments/trips to the ER, etc. She was in the nursing home for 7 months before she died at age 100. I don't know if it was the change of scenery, or having to communicate with more people, but she seemed to rally in the nursing home. Since we cared for her for 10 years, we would often dream of what we would do after. And we did it! We lived in the northern U.S. and we moved to sunny Florida to be near our daughter. Your plans for the future sound amazing.
@fernunrau7315
@fernunrau7315 Месяц назад
Caring for her must be absolutely exhausting frustrating and heartbreaking. I could not do it.
@rozee2133
@rozee2133 Месяц назад
Your home is beautiful!! I wonder where the soul is when the brain is not working. 🙏 prayers for all including that adorable doggie whom lost his human yet she’s still there; I guess dogs know and accept what is in the moment ❤ take care
@glenjones883
@glenjones883 17 дней назад
I am just finding your videos. I was my father’s caretaker. He had a traumatic brain injury that he worked hard to overcome. He did so well that most people didn’t know he had a problem. It all came back to haunt him as he aged. Reasoning, understanding speech and right side weakness were his biggest problems. This is hard stuff. You are doing a wonderful job.
@user-mr9yq2uu4e
@user-mr9yq2uu4e Месяц назад
You are so courageous and brave! May blessings continue to pour out on you. You can still make Heather laugh! Have a wonderful day today!
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
I try to get some laughs out of her several times in the day… The tougher things are the more I rely on that coping mechanism. Remember, meow meow!
@terryhoyt2058
@terryhoyt2058 26 дней назад
John, you're right. It's a long goodbye, and that's bittersweet. We lose them one bit, one day at a time. Maybe that's better than all-of-a-sudden... I don't know. (Mom died 5 years ago after several years of progressive dementia, dad took care of her in their own home just like you)
@brenekins314
@brenekins314 Месяц назад
I know from experience keeping busy while grieving was best medicine. Living in HRM is wonderful-people here are so nice & kind
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
Another local - hi from the west end peninsula! :-)
@sheilagadde5975
@sheilagadde5975 Месяц назад
Home is very nice and comfortable.
@irenehh270
@irenehh270 Месяц назад
Awww, Heather loved when you caller her "your honey". That giggle came from the bottom of her soul and her heart. Not even dementia could stop it. God bless you, John. You have a beautiful arrangement at home for Heather! You are truly inspiring all of us as we care for our loved ones with dementia. :(
@cjhoward409
@cjhoward409 Месяц назад
Even though you know that day is coming, when it actually happens, it’s like you were never prepared. My mom had cancer. We knew she had less than a year and it was a long goodbye but the day it happened was like a brick hitting me in the face. I didn’t see it coming. And she was too young in my opinion. She was only 64. Full of life and laughter and everyone loved her. I feel your pain when you talk about the future. 🙏🏻❤️
@SIMpip374
@SIMpip374 22 дня назад
My dad died from dementia. When he died, of course we were sad, but in a way we were also relieved. Dad was finally free and so were we. It is a very long good bye and I feel most of the hard difficult grieving happened for us in those first few years, as we watched him decline. The dad we knew was gone months and years before he actually got his wings, he just looked like dad. Such a terrible terrible disease.
@chrissywilliams7903
@chrissywilliams7903 Месяц назад
Beautiful home, what a great improvisation! You seem to have such a caring yet realistic grasp on your life... bravo for such great care! ❤
@drinajgb2437
@drinajgb2437 Месяц назад
Yep, that damn grief.Another stage of grieving this week while my husband was being evaluated for hospice. Fortunately he was not approved yet because he did not quite meet criteria. I was grieving the thought of losing him all over again. It comes in like a wave and tries to knock you down. I have discovered many things about myself during these nearly 15 years, and have evolved in ways I never knew possible. My roller coaster rides of grief are less frequent as I have grown more resilient. That wave,when it comes for me, no longer has the power to knock me down. You do what you have to do, and the process,though painful,is transforming. Carry on with love ❤
@KimberlieOtt
@KimberlieOtt Месяц назад
15 Years, you are a strong, amazing woman. Blessings to you both.
@pan6545c
@pan6545c Месяц назад
Good job John! Beautiful house, something to be proud of , the garden is lovely and lush!❤️Do the trip in honour of what you and Heather were going to one day do! Super weekend Heather and John.
@susanb4816
@susanb4816 27 дней назад
It is good to look forward and make plans. I think the trip is a great idea.
@zeldamoore8371
@zeldamoore8371 22 дня назад
I grieved for months before my husband died. When he did, at first I felt relief & free & guilt for feeling that way. I also kept myself very busy with projects to occupy my mind & fill the emptiness. Didn't really feel like being around people a whole lot. Just little time here & there.
@anng5422
@anng5422 Месяц назад
Keep on keeping on. Your strength is inspiring. And yes you are already feeling Heather slip away. I pray that God will sustain you and give you strength.
@susantom4400
@susantom4400 Месяц назад
I really appreciate your videos. Uplifting and heartbreaking. Hugs from the GTA.
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
And on the other side of the coin, I get a whole lot of benefit in the warm and loving and supportive comments I’m getting here on RU-vid. Thank you so much for commenting!
@dawnhooper1748
@dawnhooper1748 11 дней назад
My husband passed away from Lewie Body dementia at age 66 . I cared for him until the last two weeks of his life. Please accept any help that is offered.
@monique1386
@monique1386 Месяц назад
That's so hard when they become non-verbal 😢 Glad you are thinking of the future ❤
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
I can’t remember the last time we had a conversation😭
@nancyorourke1678
@nancyorourke1678 18 дней назад
Your positivity, John, is one beautiful thing.
@margeestes253
@margeestes253 Месяц назад
You have a beautiful home and yard. Your bedroom makeover is perfect for your needs now. I've been to Halifax twice (on cruises) and it is so beautiful.
@JohnvanGurp
@JohnvanGurp Месяц назад
I’m always happy to hear from somebody that knows about my city. They really did a great job along the waterfront with that long wooden boardwalk. It wasn’t always like that… In the early 70s it was pretty grim down there with post industrial structures and a lot of rundown buildings. It’s a perfect spot now for cruise ship passengers to explore and enjoy the harbour. Best wishes to you.
@earlinevincent360
@earlinevincent360 Месяц назад
Beautiful back yard. I can’t even imagine how hard this is for you. My husband & I have been married 65 years & I pray that we stay well enough to care for each other. You’re keeping it positive though. May God bless you both. ❤
@Enlightenment246
@Enlightenment246 Месяц назад
You don’t have to be positive all the time, it’s perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared or anxious. Having feelings or thoughts of what’s to come in the future is realistic and wise and doesn’t make you a negative person, It makes you human. Have a fabulous weekend. 🤗
@PatrickMcCoyJr
@PatrickMcCoyJr Месяц назад
Really beautiful place.
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